MST3K - Favorite Moments - Tormented

In episode 414, we are yet again treated to a Bert I (...can superimpose anything) Gordon yawn fest in the form of a Macbethian ghost story.
In Tormented a rather bland jazz musician, Tom (Richard Carlson), is confronted by his former lover, Vi (the quite saucy Juli Reding), just days before he's supposed to marry the equally bland Meg (Lugene Sanders). Yes, a romance with the passion of plywood is apparently preferable to this "rebellious" jazz musician, which causes him to let poor Vi fall to her death from a lighthouse.
But as we know, hell has no fury like a woman scorned, so naturally Vi wont let something as trivial as plummeting to her death keep her from her bland love interest.
For the entirety of the movie she continues to stalk and annoy our "poor" master of blandness with her incorporeal self; stealing jewellery, talking at him incessantly, superimpose her self on photographs, and turn herself into seaweed (AAARGGHHHH).
To think, if he had just married her to begin with, he could have avoided at least one of these annoyances...
Well, Vi eventually gets her revenge - and saves a child from suffering the same faith as herself in the process (yes, our hero actually tries to kill a little girl -- what a guy, eh?) -- and Mr. Bland and Miss Hotness is finally joined together in a wet, kelp-entwined, afterlife marriage.
There is very little to like about this movie, except maybe for the girl playing Sandy (Susan Gordon) who actually is quite good. If you notice a resemblance in the last name, it is because she was Bert's own daughter.
Another thing worth noting is that the cinematography was done by the late, great Ernest Lazlo who throughout his career received 8 academy award nominations.
Oh, and look out for the "milkman" trying to extort money from our "hero". It's Joe (Joseph) Turkel from The Shining, Blade Runner, Paths of Glory and tons and tons of other stuff.
Look out for a man scared straight, literal body surfing, Chuck Norris in Octagon, the nice sounding look of a place, devilled eggs, Ghostbusters, the joining of a man and a victim, a woman turning into a Caesar salad, a woman wearing today's paper, The Seven Year Itch, the inability to say thousand, Thing, an Aqua Velva man, a jazz party with no black people, and the prying eyes of furniture.
Enjoy!

[@skylx0812]

"Look, if I disappear there's a crayon drawing that'll go to my lawyer."

[@yuvgotubekidding]

I forgot how funny this one is. That's the genius of Joel, you can watch it again years later and you now understand the jokes you didn't get before.

[@greedyd5524]

I had my mouth open and eyes closed... WHAT ELSE IS NEW

[@Brillemeister]

Is it just me or is this one of the better movies they've riffed?

[@CyricZ]

Apart from the dreary nature of the whole thing and the relatively unlikable characters, it's not that bad a story.

[@matthewclark5612]

I liked it.

[@edgarallanlovecraft5485]

***** Judi Reding's amazing EVERYTHING!

[@theoldar]

I feel the same way. It's not a bad rainy Saturday afternoon movie at all.

[@matthewkoch6937]

@@CyricZ Hey, that's film noir for you...

[@kylestubbs8867]

"It's a jazz musician's party and there's not _one_ black person here."

[@Mattteus]

"it's a jazz musician's party and there's not one black person here!"

[@TitenSxull]

"Honey, are you carrying a pocket theramin?"

[@maryfranceshann1201]

"I had my mouth open and my eyes closed." "What else is new?" Has to be one of the best lines ever!

[@tomryan914]

LMAO

[@MovieBuffGinna]

"Honey, shut up."

[@waterspout8]

R.I.P. Bert I. Gordon 1922-2023

[@eromitlabhitw]

1:57 Railing kill!

[@Pyoti]

she's wearing today's paper. lmao!

[@luisreyes1963]

She also wore a swimsuit made of S&H Green Stamps.

[@Voyagersguidebook]

You knocked this one out of the park. Hilarious! "Well that's what she gets for 'railing' against him." hahahhaa. I don't remember watching this one. Thanks for the clips!

[@pdlbean]

yay more vids! always loved "Sandy has grown up a lot this week."

[@pdshiff]

Joe Turkel (Blade Runner, The Shining) plays the beatnik lighthouse guy!

[@captain_hat6247]

"I still have your letters!" Okay? How is that a threat? "I have love letters from your husband!" "WHAT!? He cheated on me?" "Well, actually they were from before he met and married you." "Did he cheat on me while we were engaged?" "Um...he actually wanted to break-up and have an honest relationship with you." "So he didn't actually cheat on me and you're just an ex-girlfriend who is really stupid."

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Tom Stewart Killed Me!

[@luisreyes1963]

Sydney Hamilton Somebody alert the media. 😪

[@alecfoster4413]

Susan Gordan was actually a fine actress, particularly for her age. RIP

[@mikesands4681]

relaa as ted to director?

[@edgarallanlovecraft5485]

Bert I: Get me Darren McGavin! Flunky: WE can't afford him Mr B.I.G. Bert I: Get me John Agar! Flunky: Again... Bert I: Get me Richard Carlson! Flunky: Great idea Mr B.I.G.! ... And so Richard Carlson landed the greatest role of his career

[@elafimilo8199]

Some people are just born to play certain roles...

[@MrEab2010]

yes, thank you for all the laughs.

[@TimelordR]

The only movie that Bert I. Gordon made that had absolutely nothing to do with monsters. I'm sure he regretted that decision back then.

[@kylestubbs8867]

What decision? And how far back?

[@luisreyes1963]

@@kylestubbs8867 Bert I. Gordon didn't make another monster movie until Food Of The Gods (1976).

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Even in parts, they showed us the whole story

[@cocosilk]

I don't know what I love more....Auritone's hilarious descriptions to the uploads or the uploads themselves, but I'm glad either way that Auri is in my life! XOXO

[@luisreyes1963]

"Savoir Faire is EVERYWHERE!!" 🐭

[@kylestubbs8867]

Why should I worry? Why should I care?

[@monkeymouse]

My favorite riffs in this one all begin with the words: "SESSIONS PRESENTS!"

[@kylestubbs8867]

monkeymouse Referencing?

[@harrisoncastleberry458]

🎼Forever in Lugenes🎼

[@ZERO_O7X]

@15:03 "In-A-Gadda-Davida Baby" 😂

[@ZERO_O7X]

"Uhh, honey. Are you carrying a pocket Theramin" @4:31

[@tomryan914]

12:25...LMAO

[@monkeymouse]

I think it's incredibly creepy that a six year old girl says she loves the villain--and I think she's the director's daughter...

[@floraposteschild4184]

She gave a very good performance. I wonder where she is now.

[@DavidB45Mustard]

Flora Posteschild Sadly Susan Gordon passed away on Dec 11, 2011, due to Thyroid Cancer

[@alecfoster4413]

David Mustard- Wow...what a buzz kill.

[@kylestubbs8867]

In fairness, that was before she knew he was the villain. Up until he kills the beatnik, Tom doesn’t come across as that bad a person.

[@matthewkoch6937]

If you think this is creepy, six years later, she played a young girl accused of murdering her mother and setting her house ablaze to cover it up.

[@walterfechter8080]

Joe Turkel (RIP)

[@davidrule385]

Here are some of my favourite riffs from this episode, as transcripted; 0:57 Tom: (singing) Directed by Bert I. Gordoooooon, yeah! 3:31 Crow: (mocking Tom Stewart) Honey, I'm ho-- Oh, yeah, you're dead. 12:57 Joel: (mocking Vi) My, you've lost a lot of weight! 15:04 Tom: (singing Iron Butterfly) In-a-gadda-da-vida, babyy! Joel: Coming through! Tugboat, coming through! Crow: And once again, there is no smoking in your Metrodome.

[@hanz101]

Perfect timing! I just watched the fathom event they had called Manos hands of fate. It was super hilarious, hope u watched it and thanks for the upload!

[@scoobyrds]

AURITONE'S BACK! P.S. I love you, auritone. Just wanted a chance to say that publicly.

[@darcijoy74]

Oh, thank goodness you're back!

[@mikesands4681]

for bert i gordon, this is not so bad

[@auritone]

True.

[@luisreyes1963]

Dedicated to Joe Turkel (1927-2022).

[@SalItzMed]

This video missed some of my favorite jokes from this episode.