MST3K - Favorite Moments - Outlaw

In episode 519 we're back in ineffective heroes carrying swords while flaunting their lack of ability to dress themselves properly territory.
In Outlaw (Outlaw of Gor), the sequel to Gor and also based on John Norman's sci-fi series, a rather hapless professor, by the name of Tal Cabot, is once again transported to the planet of Gor to help the population of renaissance festival freaks from a power hungry queen and a rather indifferent priest (Jack Palance).
Cabot's way of freeing the people of Gor seems however slightly misguided, as his strategy apparently involves running away, getting lost in a desert, freeing a slave, getting captured, tortured and refused guacamole until the real hero of the movie, the hunter who captures Cabot, finally steps in and kills the queen, thereby making himself the only slightly useful character in the entire movie.
The only noteworthy thing to say about this movie is that Jack Palance is his usual lovable, grumpy self as the priest Xenos.
Beyond that this movie features one of the most annoying supporting characters outside the Star Wars prequels -- Russel Savadier as Watney Smith.
Look out for snakes, an Amish Director, sand Nazis, the Moon Zero Two set, Boba Fett, an enviable structure, a papier-mâché village, Ishtar, Joe Namath's legs, the misplacement of a Christmas tree star, the brutal gourmet, pawing of a midget, Socrates, a woman sleeping herself to the bottom, a hero flaunting his little warrior, people wearing toilet lids, a tour of a woman's highness, SAMPO, Palance going off script, a stunt misfire, stabbing of dirt, the lack of special effects, pelvis lady, a donkey dance, subletting of a hat, and way, way, way too many potential buffalo shots, but then again what can you expect with a director called "Bud"..?
Enjoy

[@t1p9d]

Every time I come back to this movie, I'm astonished by the fact that not only does the hero accomplish nothing, he doesn't even attempt to accomplish anything besides his half-assed, short-lived emancipation of one slave.

[@Eisenwulf666]

The actor playing Cabot is Urbano Barberini, an italian noble turned actor that is still somewhat active in theater and movies. His family tree is truly astounding(popes,cardinals,princes,generals,artists and patrons of the arts), his career...a bit less, but he gets around .

[@rubystevens4593]

'Where the hell am I?" "You're the hell here."

[@Poxell91]

I used to have a show on my local radio on overnights, and one of my jock liners had that audio clip on there. I HAD to. 🤣🤣

[@sertorrhenclegane]

"All right, I'm outta the film!" I'm sure those were Jack's exact words right before, "Where the hell's my check?"

[@monkeymouse]

"What have you done with the prisoner?" "We cancelled it; it was too obscure."

[@leannewho664]

They shopped it over to some trans girls who do a podcast

[@luckycatphil]

"Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!" Brilliant... :)

[@ninjawraith17]

"Master, allow me to give you pleasure." *Crow's jaw drops* "Hey, I'm not your master." Tom: "No, you see freedom is-PLEASURE?!?" Me: *laughing till I cry*

[@Poxell91]

ninjawraith17 HAHAHA I never noticed Crow's jaw dropping! 😂

[@dirty96imp]

Gotta make dinner for CABOT.

[@KenoshiAkai]

So much hair product for such a primitive world.

[@SeanP7195]

Wash and go Pert-Plus!

[@jrcarter9175]

"Because you are behaving...like a bitch in heat..." "WHOA!" "And not like a queen!" "Jack, you are WAY off script!"

[@Jcolinsol]

Hey Caaaaaaaaaaaaaboooooooooooooooooooooooooooottt!

[@philipmonihan8222]

Love the Cabot montage.

[@SweetMadness9]

"You know how to party?" "You just put your lips together and drink!"

[@undoneonion90]

Sorry folks, we simply could not afford to have special effects!

[@theblocksays]

Or finish the matte painting either with that whole, "It's Iowa!' in the background LOL

[@dkupke]

I keep thinking of Seinfeld. “Oh, hello...Cabot!”

[@ethanpeirce]

Woah! Jack, you are WAY off script!!

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

You disgusting woooorm!

[@KWCline91]

Clap clap Deep in the Heart of Texas. 😂 😂

[@steveg8322]

I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I’m all out of ass.

[@ZERO_O7X]

I could watch Jack Palance read from the phone book and still be entertained. I love that he did a few fantasy movies in his later career, nobody chews the scenery like Jack.

[@typacsk]

"Believe it... or nottt!"

[@Anynom]

"I worry about a superhero named Cabot who drives a Camero." "Sorry, folks, we simply could not afford special effects!" "Kill him, kill him, KILL HIM" "Whoa, Jack you are going way off script here!"

[@raygsbrelcik5578]

Firebird, actually...

[@AndythePervert]

These were the hats too silly for classic Doctor Who villains.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Cabot is such a Gary Stu.

[@swanofnutella4734]

Guys, what's the main character's name again? ...it's on the tip of...

[@floraposteschild4184]

12:48 Palance is astonished by Cabot's lack of acting ability. Also, he is really drunk.

[@ThePeterBluth]

Flora Posteschild Agreed. Also, I think the man he killed during the making of this movie was his agent.

[@ObiWanBillKenobi]

My favorite line from the movie was left out: "Where'd the car go?" Servo: "I thought you had it!"

[@auritone]

Hmm, I would go for the cuddly nature of Jack Palance...

[@raygsbrelcik5578]

"CABETT," and LOU COSTELLO."

[@mrmosty5167]

“Ooh he looks like a little angel!” “Looks like a gravy boat...”

[@Darthsimpletext]

looks like MST3K lucked out getting a TON of icky male loinage

[@CWinther95]

"And so the Osmonds were marched from Utah." Crow

[@hanz101]

"Guacamole's off..."

[@LchanOtakudom]

"WHOA! Jack, you are WAY off script!" "Alright I'm out of the film! Yes!" Edit: Wayne Gretzky! The Great One!

[@metalmaria26]

The hats in this film...

[@SeanP7195]

They can summon people back and forth between worlds but don't hav electricity or gun powder?

[@leannewho664]

the better versions of this I see are stuff like The Executioner And Her Way Of Life where they haven’t figured out either of those things because they have workarounds that do the same thing *in one context*, like a type of sword that shoots but no explosives or a fuel that powers a train but no vehicle besides trains

[@pdlbean]

I am so heterosexual... CABOT

[@SteevDragon67]

How much did they pay Palance to do this piece of crap? He must have really needed the money!

[@WorldWar2freak94]

SteevDragon67 That, or he was really bored and figured “I have nothing else to do, so why not?”

[@Krendall2]

Jack Palance was in quite a few of these cheesy movies. Candid photos showed he seemed to love doing them, probably because he could be the best actor in the film without even trying.

[@Poxell91]

8:00 is such a great delivery

[@razzle8140]

They have so much budget for sets and costumes, but why'd they scrimp on casting?

[@JamaicanCastle]

Costume budget? Everybody's costume seems to end halfway.

[@kylestubbs8867]

3:31 Oh yeah, plenty of budget for sets.

[@LchanOtakudom]

Kyle Stubbs It’s Iowa!

[@JoeCnNd]

"HEY CABBET!!"

[@kylestubbs8867]

"Oh, it's a different Cabot."

[@christieperry4361]

the my my my Mitchell reference

[@greedyd5524]

Christie Perry you are acting like a bitch in heat instead of a queen

[@christieperry4361]

Of course

[@bazzer124]

No need to worry about a super hero who drives a Camaro. You should, however, be worried about a super hero who drives a Firebird. Cheers....

[@rabapab23]

CABOT!!! He has returned!!

[@yuvgotubekidding]

Cabbot the face chewer.

[@racheledwards5926]

I can't find the Christmas tree star anywhere

[@TheStapleGunKid]

I'm still not convinced the hero's name is Cabot.

[@fistsfullofhoagies336]

5:14 hee-haww hee-haww! 🤣

[@WorldWar2freak94]

I didn’t know Iowa had a desert! Also, they have really weird tastes in clothing.

[@fpg213263fu]

Well just that I envy that structure.

[@MrHypnofan]

So did Cabot end up with the the princess he was with from the beginning of film or the slave woman he rescued? What happened to the one he didn't end up with?

[@vonzigle]

A fair question, but I think most of us have no clue....

[@jamesschuur2801]

He ended up still being Cabot.

[@40GamesAG]

What I want to know is why you're questioning a movie that is beyond logical explanation. XD

[@hhxichikk]

@@40GamesAG Its not really questioning, its pure curiosity. We all want whats best for Cabot and his women.

[@racheledwards2352]

Oh, I can't find the Christmas tree star anywhere

[@demonkingbadger6689]

Should have had Cabot be played by Bud Abbott.

[@user-lk7cv8vg7r]

Web should I? What the hell.

[@13strigoi69]

Talena, playmate of the month June or July 86?

[@Mama-eu1ss]

Joe Namath! If you know, you know

[@RIXRADvidz]

6:35, what ever she's balancing on her head is covered in a button down short sleeve sweater. what is on her head inside the sweater?

[@kurukq]

is it open season on geriatrics? nice

[@theshaolin2391]

This is when Cannon Films was starting to go down the shitter

[@TheLowBrassDude]

There's a reason this is my favorite episode, but I can't remember why, It might have been a name or something. Can anyone help me?

[@christrotter3052]

The Judds..... 😆😆😆

[@kylestubbs8867]

2:38

[@beast13284]

So the guy's name was.... ?

[@spaghettisultan5484]

Why couldn't Boba Fett or Cabot's stunt double be the hero?

[@guddergo7116]

isnt that a pontiac?

[@Servocaster]

69 Firebird

[@Boinky8]

Only Mike and the Bots can make tiresome Gorean propaganda worth watching!

[@CartridgeMaster]

disGASting werrrrrm

[@femoman]

And you think this movie was demeaning towards the female characters? The original books are even worse!

[@leannewho664]

Terrifying statement pls elsborate

[@femoman]

@@leannewho664 Basically one of the central themes of the books is the capturing, keeping and brutalizing of female sex slaves who learn to accept and enjoy their position. And the books go into a frankly disturbing level of detail as to how this slavery culture operates.

[@jamierabinowitz7102]

The first film is even worse than this