Autism 4th of July Strategies | Porch Coffee

Welcome to our Weekly Porch Coffee. Today I am checking in and updating you on my life. This week was fun as I got to do the members only monthly livestream and it FINALLY had no issues crop up. I also did some crocheting and sewing this week. Finally, I discuss some tips and strategies for tackling #4thofJuly activities as an #autistic person. Please note: I am not a doctor, these are just things/actions that have helped me in the past. If you need medical treatment or advice, please contact a medical professional. Also, all autistic people are different, and I only can speak for myself and share with you my personal experience.
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Hi! I’m Claire, and this is my channel, Woodshed Theory. Here you will find the awkward ramblings of an adult autist. I love being creative and sharing my experiences with you. Subscribe to see more DIYs and Autism Discussions on your feed!
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[@Autisticheather]

My best holiday tip is to SKIP IT!! LOL

[@WoodshedTheory]

Good one!

[@theresapizza]

People who drive other people around have nothing to chauffeur it. Cue the classic song "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World" by TV's Frank. This comment brought to you by echolalia.

[@nathanh6439]

My view is if you like it, great, and if you don't, that's great too. Tradition is little more than peer pressure from dead people anyway. Over the last couple of years, my boys and I have taken to skipping events that we are not comfortable with. Both are old enough and capable enough now to be left home alone for short stints. So, if one wants to see the fireworks and the other doesn't? That's fine, we will be just down the road.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i'm happy to hear that you are doing what works for you and your family

[@whitneymason406]

My son starts ESY (extended school year) today! It has been the roughest summer yet, so I'm thrilled he can get back to a routine. I've tried keeping him entertained, but he's been very disregulated. My daughter has kindercamp for 3 more weeks. This will be my first experience with both kids in a school program. I'm looking forward to it and the quiet. Hope you have a peaceful week, Claire and friends! 💞

[@theresapizza]

May I recommend the song "On Parole" by Motorhead? That was my jam the first time both mine were in school. Or maybe "Enjoy the Silence" by Depeche Mode would be more appropriate.

[@whitneymason406]

@theresapizza I'll definitely have to put those on my playlist today!

[@WoodshedTheory]

I haven't heard of ESY, i hope the experience is a good one for him

[@Catlily5]

I love Enjoy the Silence!

[@myhumansuit]

I clicked on this fast! Great title and thumbnail!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yay! Thank you!

[@Kiersin]

I am happy to have my new door. I will do a pancake breakfast on the 4th with my church, and then go home and hide in the basement for the evening. It helps drown out the loudness of the fireworks, I used to enjoy them, but now I support myself by avoiding them since an active shooter situation in 2020. Loved being a part of the member only livestream.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i am happy for your new door as well! sounds like it is a weight off of you

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Uuuuhhh😳 I never whitnesed a person shooting (it doesn´t happen too often in Germany, maybe mostly here in Berlin where I live but I never saw or heard) but can imagine how firework after this can trigger trauma response feelings. I worked as social worker at a retirement home in Berlin twenty years ago and on Sylvester many of our people got in panic that "the russians are coming", as they lived here during WWII. And anyways, it pollutes the environment and scares animals to death, I just hate fireworks.

[@Kiersin]

@katzenbekloppt2412 I was a distance away from the actual shooting, but it happened less than 0.1 miles from my home, and it also trapped me at home for over 8 hours. The next day, I was glad for a friend letting me get out to her house. That and her dog who loves me.

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

@@Kiersin had to calculate that in meters (1 mile ~ 1600m). That was very near!

[@BCSchmerker]

@@Kiersin *Well, I see firearms as necessary.* Practiced with a robust copy o' the U.S. Magazine Pistol .45" 1911A1 on the firing range, took appropriate measures for personal protection. I see wherefore the fear of another shots-fired incident also.

[@FreehandlyMade]

We keep 4th of July low key for the most part but we do go to see the fireworks a couple of towns over and Littleman and I both bring our noise canceling headphones and we park behind an emply store where we can get out easily and sit in our lawn chairs behind our vehicle. =)

[@WoodshedTheory]

what a great idea!

[@BlueRoseHelen252]

Good morning Claire, lovely to see you for coffee this morning. I am busy trying to organise the packing for the youngest today because he travels tomorrow to the Isle of Wight for his end of primary school trip. He also has a busy day tomorrow because he will be going to his secondary school for a shorter day to find out which class he will be in in September and he will meet the rest of his class and find out about secondary school life. I feel old now he is then last one to start secondary school in our little family. It will be a very quiet 4 days without him around. I now have to workout how to get the suff on his kit list into a hand luggage size travel bag. 😆 Have a good, and productive week. 😊

[@WoodshedTheory]

have a great week Helen

[@billymcdonald1870]

Happy Canada day which is our 4th of July. I honestly find it the least stressful holiday outside the fact that there is usually a tornado lively thunderstorm that comes in. I can understand why a lot of autistic people would be stressed. I don't know if in the USA they are doing drone shows in many areas in Canada there doing drone shows which at first I was like that stupid and could not replace a fireworks show but I went to one on May 2-4 (queen Victoria day) and it was really cool and honestly just as good as a firework show but not as loud.

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Is this something like laser shows? I like those, as it is quiet and doesn´t harm animals.

[@Holly-tw6bt]

Happy Monday! Im usually over at my folks' place on the 4th, and they live out in the country soooo... we get subjected to fireworks whether we want them or not. 😂

[@WoodshedTheory]

yes it can get noisy

[@richwatson28]

17:03 That 30 second quote sums up 48 years of my life. I should probably share this video with my family.

[@WoodshedTheory]

yeah we all have pretty similar experience it seems

[@irisl7817]

Good morning, Claire. I just came from seeing a new doctor and all that goes along with that. I have some residual icky anxiety energy that won't ease down. I don't like the drained feeling after getting labs done. It's nice coming back home and having coffee and breakfast with you. Soon, I'll need to go to the office to get something straightened out and I'm anxious about that too. I'll definitely need a nap this afternoon. I plan to spend the 4th of July with my parents. There is a community fireworks display a short walk from their house. We'll go together and watch then go back to their house. I like fireworks when they're scheduled to happen. I live in an area where people set off fireworks for random occasions; it's very unsettling. You had some good tips. I prefer fireworks to parades because those usually affect traffic routes and I don't like trying to find new ways to get places. Something that helps me for gatherings is having what I need to feel comfortable: comfy clothes, ear protection, food, also whatever drink that I prefer, even if that's my own water, (my phone and/or a fidget). I hope everyone has a great week and all of us from the USA, a happy and safe 4th of July.

[@WoodshedTheory]

those were great tips thanks for sharing

[@schafwolle9155]

[@WoodshedTheory]

amazing!

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Ein Ösi auch hier, damit hätten wir alle deutschsprachigen Länder. Gruß aus Berlin👋

[@j-ivey]

Good morning! To be honest, a Cursed Livestream sounds mysterious & exciting, so maybe you could rebrand that way lol. That's cool that you're working on an Esty drop. I'd love to hear more about what it's like running a store as an autistic person. I am working towards opening a shop with fun products for neurodivergent folks, but putting all of the pieces together on such an endeavor feels overwhelming.

[@WoodshedTheory]

That is a good video idea I will keep it in mind

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Morning Claire !!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

morning kelly

[@PossumMedic]

*It's Monday!* 🍻 The ant wars are over! 🙌‍😂 Don't forget to lock your pets up! Our cat ran away one year from the Canada Day fireworks 😭 Hope everyone has a good holiday! 🥳

[@Apiarist_X]

The 4th July is a normal day here in the UK other than a new government election. Fun

[@WoodshedTheory]

oh that sounds eventful

[@isabellammusic]

Hi Claire! Last week I filmed some videos but it didn't go exactly as planned. I managed to film a video where I talk about quirkiness, summer, appearance and other random things as usual. I tried to have a more laid back vibe in that video. I don't know when I will post it but soon! I also spent time with my kids and it was great! As my life is falling apart I stumbled upon some more problems but I'm building my life back up, it's freaking hard! This community gives me support and I know I'm not the only one who struggles. Your livestream was comforting and interesting! Thank you so much for sharing about your life, you are an inspiration!

[@WoodshedTheory]

I'm cheering you on!

[@lizmari7042]

For 4th of July my partner's mom buys a bunch of fireworks and my partner and our son set them off in front of our house. I find this kind of funny because this is the one day of the year that our son is not sensitive to loud noises. I'm guessing it is because he is mostly in control of the noises. Other than our moms and my partner's sister, we don't have people over for 4th of July, so it's just the six of us; for the past two years at least, everybody in our cul de sac is away for 4th of July so we have the street to ourselves. As far as tips for 4th of July or New Year's Eve or other days where people feel it's okay to set off loud fireworks at night for a couple of weeks, I have ear buds that are intended to wear for sleeping that do a great job of blocking out outside noises. Between those and a sound machine, I am finally not irritated by the noises when I'm trying to sleep. 🙂 I hope everybody who celebrates 4th of July has a good holiday experience!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yes I have noticed that sometimes people with sensory issues around noise are okay with loud noises like fireworks and concerts, i wonder why that is.

[@magnasgaming1061]

Yay for black coffee drinkers! I wonder if there's any connection between autism/neurodivergence and black coffee? I acquired the taste due to my work not having tea for a few weeks and over time switched from sweetened/creamed coffee to black. But I really like black coffee because the different roasts have such great flavor that's completely hidden by sugar or diluted by creamer. Porch Coffee is one of the best parts of my week! Thank you for this.

[@WoodshedTheory]

that is a good question - i have no idea!

[@marisa5359]

Ah..the 4th. Sigh. It has become increasingly difficult in our house. Aside from a bit of a bother about the sound, I am actually becoming increasingly allergic to something in the fireworks ( maybe the sulfur? don't really know) so hard for me to be near them for multiple reasons. Yet, my husband loves them, really LOVES them, loves setting them off, and becomes rather little boy-like and spend happy over them. So...I usually wind up holed up in our house watching a Twilight Zone marathon while he is out setting his fireworks off with the neighbors. I guess it would be fine except he seems resentful of my lack of ability to participate and I feel kind of sick and struggling to breathe even from inside the house and kind of lonely and...ick. I will be glad when it is done as I am each year, honestly. Anyway...enough. Hope you have a great week. ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

so sorry to hear about the allergy - that really sucks!

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Feel You. Every year after Sylvester I think "puhh, done for this year.". Sadly we have european soccer championship here in Germany this year, I live in Berlin and people always do small fireworks (just the loud ones) after goals or end of won games🙄 And as they are always unplanned I have to comfort poor cat every time (after my short shaking). Why?

[@hankiepankie5833]

Your singing helps me get my Monday started!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

i'm so glad

[@staceykennedy3289]

And having pets, nice to keep things as sensory friendly for them as much as possible..despite anything else they may be used to.

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

The most exiting things this last week: Put on an online search ad for an assistant. And yesterday couloured my foot- and fingernails after more then a year for the first time again. Like how it looks, but feel tension on my fingernails. Does somebody else feel this way to? I mean, it absolutly makes no sense, as nails are "dead" and it can´t be, but I always feel as if they are stretched a tiny bit. Not pain, just an irritating feeling. And not on the toes. Never thought about this, but maybe I just discovered a new autistic trait? @Claire : I must say I enjoy just listening to You, whatever You are talking about. Maybe sometimes even more about yarn or other then "autism-pur"-things, as I need time to just relax, chat and laugh, not ALWAYS (sometimes hurtful) deep dive into our problems. And today I saw You have some small freckles on Your nose, how cute, always wanted some. Have a nice week, porchies!

[@WoodshedTheory]

An assistant sounds fantastic - I hope the search goes well for you

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

@@WoodshedTheory thanks, looks I found one, but it's not "into dry sheets" as we would say. (Not fixated?)

[@T.T.M.60]

Hello, Claire and everyone else! 4th of July is an important day but for a number of years, for me and my family it has been very low key. For years it was parties/ BBQ’s or camping and definitely watching fireworks but more recently just a day to reflect and have a special meal at home, just my husband and I…my Autistic brain likes that.

[@WoodshedTheory]

yes it is interesting how things change when you understand yourself better

[@T.T.M.60]

@@WoodshedTheory so true!

[@lisabmpls]

4th of July has been my holiday for eons! But I totally understand how it can be bad for folks. The noise, the smells, the humanity…ooof! Some of the reasons I like it…(1) it’s usually warm which means I can go outside to take a walk to get away from folks even at a BBQ; (2) good marching bands in a parade are a reason to express autistic joy out in public without people thinking you’re too weird; and (3) fireworks, when you can get close enough (but not too close) to them, are loud and again are a great way to express autistic joy. The key for me with fireworks was always being within eyesight of the launching spot so I could see when they shot off and could anticipate the sound. Surprise booms are no good!!!! One way I’ve managed to escape a group when I need to is by offering to go pick up another bag of ice or potato salad or case of pop (yes, I’m from the Midwest and we call it pop 😂). If I’m at someone’s house and no one needs anything I’ll say I want to check out the neighborhood and go for a short walk. Which totally means I can sit in my car and hide for a few mins. 😂 Hope everyone is having a good week whether you celebrate or not!!!❤

[@staceykennedy3289]

Where I reside parade and fireworks are canceled do to the danger of the heat. Indoor activities, movies, and yes what ever food you’d like, or doing nothing, is the way to go.

[@pikmin4743]

gm Claire! you need a tripod! I have frequent hand pain too and have to avoid holding things like the phone for too long. getting old is a joy ;P I'm glad you're feeling much better! yechk, the 4th and NYE are stay at home nights for me. at least I have my noise cancellers now, and I just got a weighted blanket. this week I participated in my 3rd Autistic adults support group, its a nice group, and I actually talked this time. finding new friends is intimidating, but its much less so around nice and understanding people I also watched your dress video, which I'm surprised that I did, but you are fun to listen to, and your dress turned out great)) well done! have a great week!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for supporting my video even though it isn't your usual thing, i appreciate that.

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

If people have reasons to do something because of a holiday, that's great and power to them for that. If I or anyone don't/doesn't have reasons to do something because of a holiday, that's ok too. I see holidays as having significance primarily in a social-cultural-historical perspective, which is relative and not homogenous.

[@rlw9476]

Oh my. I remember crying during fireworks as a child and my dad getting angry with me about it. Eventually, I grew to love the 4th, but after living in a suburb obsessed with fireworks, I now hate them again. I mean, my street really did sound like a warzone! I have a video somewhere as proof.

[@patryn36]

Skipping the fourth of july is a requirement for me. The reason that is because of alcohol. I seen alcohol destroy my dad's mind in real time though at the time i had not progressed enough to understand but i was beginning to see something was wrong. It destroyed him so completely he committed suicide when i was 11. I do not want anything to do with alcohol at any level, been there and done that i care not for it in others. If they choose it then that is fine for them but i want the honesty of the situation and if one can not choose to be honest without chemical support, which is how people use alcohol in many situations, then there is no point after a certain level, i want that interaction beyond that level. So there is not much point considering that and a few other points for one such as me.

[@whitneymason406]

Oh, I'm so sorry! Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I can REALLY relate, and I'm happy you are taking care of yourself. ❤

[@patryn36]

@@whitneymason406 when you add the other qualities i have and the unique conditions they create, i really am alone in this world, have not found my collective yet.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i am so sorry to hear this tragic story from you, thank you for feeling safe to share with us.

[@patryn36]

@@WoodshedTheory it is not tragic for me, it simply is what happened. I do wish he could of seen who i am now and he could of helped me but at the very least he is free from the pain he had, i asked him why he drank once and he told me so he could forget the pain. The original comment is a prime example of how and who i am, i may have opinions and choices that everyone else does not understand and/or agrees with but i have reasons for them and i have no problem attempting at least getting them to understand, just a shame that so few even try to understand or even care to.

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Yep, being the only not drunk person between others totally drunken really sucks. Had no drinking dad, but can understand.

[@feralnonbinaryautistic]

Not in the US, so I don't have to deal with 4th July. Quite glad about that - it doesn't seem like my kind of thing. I'm looking forward to, and getting ready for, my (adult) daughter coming to stay for a few days.

[@WoodshedTheory]

have a nice visit

[@crystallefay]

4th of July is me and my son's birthday. I'll be 48, he will be 26! Neither of us like fireworks..lol I used to put together a big birthday party for us. Which always left me exhausted. So a few years ago, I realized my own birthday wasn't fun anymore and just draining. So after talking to my son, we decided to just spend the day hanging out together and not doing a party. It's been much better! This year he's gonna let me interview him for my KZbin channel!! I'm excited!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

happy birthday!

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Okay, hang on, that pouring coffee made me instantly want one. Have some good quality decaffinated..........momentito...... Okay, gross new experience. Turned out I left the espresso in my cafetera. It was green... So now I have to give it a germ free ride in the superhot-program dishwasher I think. Ewww. First time espresso with cinammon and cardamom in my Melitta pour-over. Feels illegal. Pour-over is for coffee, not espresso. Hmmm. Will see. But found one last vegan lemon-cake-bar, it's not a cookie, but somehow it will work. Hopefully 😆

[@WoodshedTheory]

yuck! mold in the machine is the worst, it happened to me once at a job, so GROSS

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

@@WoodshedTheory well, a cafetera is a metal espresso cooker invented in italy, has the shape of an X. Maybe You heard it named "Bialetti"? For Argentinians it's quite common to make coffee with it, I have them in several sizes. Many things that have to do with eating/drinks my german-argentinian mix goes for the argentinian way. And been married with a Pakistani I still like cardamom and cinnamom in my coffee. It's a cultural-crossover, with soy-milk😆🤣 Smallest is perfect for one cafe con leche (made with strong espresso). You put this on a stove to boil. So You can clean every piece of it. But indeed it was gross! Never ever this happened before (am 48 now), normally it just dries perfectly so You can throw it out and put new in. Unfortunatly it gets all very hot so it's not possible to clean it directly after using (which would be easier for the ADHD part of my brain). But the pour-over espresso was quite well. Oh, Claire, as a coffee-lover: do You have a Bialetti?

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@katzenbekloppt2412 I don't have a bialetti - i've never heard of that before but i will look into it

[@shapeofsoup]

My tip is drug up and go to bed early 😂

[@faithcooper8935]

I was asked about going to see Animie. I say depends on how I am doing. Nothing is fun when you feel light headed.

[@h6156]

Love your intro Claire ❤ truly unique!

[@TheCassierra908]

Pretty good week for the most part here. I am dealing with more sensory overwhelm lately so I'm laying low and limiting my activities to what I feel is best for me. 😊

[@studiotom]

I love that smocked dress, it’s so cute!! 😁

[@WoodshedTheory]

thank you i love it as well - i've worn it most days

[@ashleyien1222]

Like # 100 It's Canada Day today. I'm staying home. I'm dreading people in the neighbourhood setting off fireworks tonight. They're not supposed to (there's a professional display in the park by the water)... but the past few years people just set them off anywhere 🙁 Cute dress! I had a busy weekend... haven't really got to relax. Saw friends in Montreal yesterday... 4 hours of driving (i hate driving) and 5 hours of friend. Nice to see people, but it was a lot.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i've found during my life that people are going to set off fireworks no mater what the rules are :/

[@ashleyien1222]

@@WoodshedTheory Very true. 😦 It just isn't good for my anxiety. "what if they hit a house? What about the cars on the highway there... what if drivers are startled and there's an accident... what if..." and that's on top of the loud noises that make me jump...

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Aha. A barbeque is something that US-people do obligate on 4th of july? I was thinking before "Hm, fireworks in summer (we only have them on Sylvester) might be dangerous (forest burning, etc.). And then on top barbeques...You live quite risky, americans🤣 I would probably stay home on this day living in the US. Parades - to much people and too loud. Barbeques - am vegan, don´t like to watch this. Fireworks - cat gets scared, so I stay with her.

[@WoodshedTheory]

having a barbeque isn't required, but it does seem to be the most popular way to spend the holiday

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

@@WoodshedTheory My argentinian dad would have loved it. En Argentina un asado is very popular. They do on 25th of may, too, also the Argentinians in Germany-club does, but as they grill tons of meat I never went there. And as I seem to have subscribed to three canadian channels I learned today that they do something like 4tzh of july today there. And then I imagined an alien 👽watching it and thinking why they do same on different days🤔?

[@PlanckRelic]

I don't do anything for the 4th these days. I can see a few fireworks displays from my place if I'm inclined, and my dog is bothered by the noise so we get to manage that. Thinking back to being a kid, I remember several 4ths that were long days with picnics and fireworks into the evening that I now think of as having been disregulating, even when spent in nice company.

[@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231]

We get to vote on the 4th July this year, so that'll be fun...

[@WoodshedTheory]

interesting! way to exercise your civic duty!

[@Imperfect_Eric]

Hi Claire , I also only have 2 hands😉, it's no fun getting older😕. I'll be all alone with my dog for the 4th, thinking about going to a park in the morning before it gets crowded and just sit and enjoy the warm weather for a little while

[@WoodshedTheory]

ah yes get out of the house before the day gets too warm!

[@T.T.M.60]

Thanks!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thank you for your gift, that is so kind of you

[@T.T.M.60]

@@WoodshedTheory you are so welcome! Yarn on!

[@BCSchmerker]

+woodshedtheory *I've a dilemma on equipment for 胡桃河町日系油童教會 Japanese Christian Church of Walnut Creek (CA, USA):* Specifically, concerns over a bidirectional condenser microphone. I see it as necessary, to get the no-sense plane in line wi' the PEAVEY main speakers. Concerning the Animal Damage Control Ford F250 XLT, there's a front suspension issue; suspect a worn-out bushing on one o' the links (the Super Duty suspension has a five-link layout).

[@WoodshedTheory]

i can't say i understand but i hope you get the equipment issue resolved

[@dus10dnd]

I will be spending the holiday and so many nearby days trying to keep my dogs and myself calm. I can’t handle fireworks.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i hope it went ok

[@dus10dnd]

@@WoodshedTheory It was much quieter than I expected and the dogs were not very disturbed.

[@jesusfollower5588]

I’m staying home on the 4th. I’ll cook a hotdog with some BBQ chips.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yum

[@celinahuezo5518]

I like to talk about your life purpose. I'm struggling with that for years

[@WoodshedTheory]

i am glad you like it, i'm trying my best!

[@celinahuezo5518]

no i meant for a topic in regards in finding ones life purpose for austistics, not yours specifically lol. sorry.

[@kateofkates]

I am so curious to see if this addresses when your neurodivergent 4th of July discomfort is more about hating America and all its injustices more than a noise or social thing hahaha

[@kateofkates]

Well I guess that is a social thing 😂

[@WoodshedTheory]

i hear you - yeah this was just about social stuff