Autism And Irritability| Purple Ella

Autism and irritability. I find that overstimulation can lead to irritability for me, so I'm learning to recognise that feeling and looking for ways to reduce it, and the impact it has on my life. More below.
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
Action for ME - www.actionforme.org.uk

[@Lizzeco]

The people I live with are the ones who see my irritability. And it’s frustrating because I don’t want to be irritable but when I get home I’m comfortable and they see it all. I’ve never been a mean person but when I’m irritated I’m the meanest person and I hate it.

[@EastVanC]

People describe me as "sunny & cheerful" but when I get home, boy do I let the misery come out. Weed helps.

[@justhereforthe_comments8994]

I feel you 😔 it like my soul is a nice person but I can’t control how angry I get

[@justhereforthe_comments8994]

EastVanC weed definitely helps 🤣

[@bpd-foot-lettuce94]

YES! I feel this😔🙌🏼

[@nryane]

Yeah. That raging at home is familiar to me. First my father did, then I did it to my ex-husband and daughter, and then the ex (partner) did it to me. I wonder if my father the ex was autistic, because he was the most irritable person I’ve ever known. He RAGED or went absolutely silent - also qualities of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Yet he was pleasant as all get out with others. Just not at home. I get irritable, yet attempt to maintain relationships by letting friends and family know that I need time alone, like Purple Ella. I learned this the hard way, by being with the ex for a total of 30 years. I suspect that I’m autistic, but am currently undiagnosed until early December of this year. An aside - the ex commented about my behaviors, for example, not looking at him when he was speaking to me, or being distracted by something else, and he also accused me of not having empathy. These would be his observations of autism in me, I believe.

[@lm4105]

I used to tell my kids that mummy is in a mood and needs a time out - that they were great but I wasn't ready to be on my best behaviour (we made it a little joke). It's amazing how understanding and accepting children are when the concept is explained in a way they themselves relate to.

[@britanymedina6064]

They really are! I tell my daughter the same thing and she’s the most understanding person in the world.

[@KatieM786]

The nothing-feels-right thing = my husband and I call those days "sandpaper days" because the whole world feels abrasive. I never thought of it through the lens of anxiety before, it is interesting and I will think about this some more.

[@EastVanC]

Sandpaper days! I love that!

[@sydniedesjarlais7917]

Thats awesome terminology

[@DeborahAnnsuperversatile]

Yes. I always thought it was just the generalized anxiety that I do have, but now I know I am also overwhelmed sensory wise. I feel guilty when all this happens. I need to try to treat myself nicer. I will treat other people kinder than I do myself usually.

[@itsgonnabeagoodday2586]

@@DeborahAnnsuperversatile pop

[@pyarkaaloo]

I’ve had sandpaper days for sure...

[@arasharfa]

I have episodes where even the sound of the kettle boiling has made me throw things across the room, and other days I can be in a loud bar and be in an ok mood. Some days I have nothing to wear because everything clings and rubs the wrong way, and other days I can wear something tight and tailored. Ever since I started looking at my irritability as a symptom of overstimulation or overexertion I've been much better at controlling it, and I also am nicer to myself if I do have a meltdown.

[@ughlydia6457]

wow I didn’t know other people experienced this

[@dominikzaire3020]

sorry to be offtopic but does anybody know of a trick to log back into an Instagram account..? I was dumb lost the login password. I love any help you can give me!

[@rodrigoleroy4001]

@Dominik Zaire instablaster :)

[@ashleyl9784]

Every time after i watch ur vids my inner dialogue is in ur accent :) haha

[@kristinamathiesen6355]

Ashley L mine to😅😇

[@tmompeller111]

Same !! 😂

[@mirahshay1833]

Lol me too!

[@mirahshay1833]

Just autistic things

[@nana-cz2dh]

That's an autistic trait?! I do that a lot! I am not diagnosed but suspecting it...

[@crystalplus2]

When I wake up irritable, I end up with insanely heightened sensory issues compared to normal. Hair on my own head can feel not right to the point where I want to rip it out (I don't, but that's the feeling). I'll have an increased difficulty with how clothing is sitting on me. Also, everything is too loud, too visual, and the things people normally do are too much. My skin feels like it's crawling, as if I have an invisible insect in my skin that I can feel sporadically. It is crazy exhausting to struggle with all those things and proceed to act normal as if nothing was bothering me. I typically end up in the bathroom at some point during those days silently balling, or it'll get to be too much and I'll play it off that I'm not feeling good so I can go home early. Then I'll feel so mentally and physically exhausted, that I can't keep my eyes open even if I'm trying to do something. I normally say I'm not feeling good and have a migraine, which I do suffer with often too. I have noticed as I've gotten older, I've started to care less and less about masking and hiding some things, and that worries me.

[@maryeckel9682]

The crawling bugs thing is called "formication," based on the Latin word for ant, and it's the best word.

[@artstudent6849]

Mee toooo

[@coolgirlfrozenfeet]

I have dreams of bugs under my skin. And I can’t get them out. If they are worms, they break off and keep tunneling. So gross. I can totally relate to most of what you’re saying.

[@Justafan333]

Currently waiting on an autism assessment at the age of 40 but this is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Can’t stand my hair touching me, clothes feel disgusting, I’m itching all over, wired but exhausted. The more stressed I’m getting the less I’m able to mask and I don’t like how that feels. As my mask is falling further away from me I feel even worse because it’s unfamiliar territory.

[@Sheka88]

I learned early on as a child that my mom would sometimes need a little space, but it was through no fault of mine. This taught me is was acceptable do do the same. This really helped us keep a peaceful house where we'd withdraw to our safe spaces when overwhelmed instead of fighting.

[@JCWC1990]

I am now seeing that is what my mom needed, and struggle needing it now as well. I can't figure out how to explain it to my little girl without her feeling dejected. It is so hard.

[@cordeliaface]

@@JCWC1990 Someone further up in the comments mentioned referring to it as a "time out." This is typically something your child can relate to, as sometimes kids find themselves in time out, and the point of time out is to have a "cool down" time and regulate/de-escalate yourself back down to base level, whether you are 2, or 92. "I am feeling really irritable right now, and I need to have a few minutes in time out so I don't take out that irritability on other people." "I am feeling really overstimulated right now. I am going to take a few minutes in time out to calm down." "I love your hugs/kisses/cuddles, but I need some personal space right now. You know how sometimes you don't want to be hugged/kissed/cuddled? That's how I feel right now." These are all very normal, very human needs. The same needs your children have. Just frame your needs in the way your children understand/can relate to. It's a lovely idea to be available to your children all the time, however, that is likely unrealistic. You are a human being with your own needs. You are not a bad mom for needing to take a "time out" to regulate yourself. Taking the time you need to calm down and be the best mom you can be for your child is not bad parenting. If you are very concerned about your child feeling dejected/rejected, make sure to mention what you are going to do together once your "time out" is done ("I am going to take a time out, when I get back, let's play legos/dollies/make dinner!" makes it abundantly clear that there is nothing your child has done wrong, you are not rejecting her, you are not neglecting her, you are just taking time for yourself to come back and be the best mom you can be for your little girl). If you get a hug/kiss from your daughter when her time out is done, maybe you follow the same routine when your own time out is done. "That time out is just what I needed! I feel so much more refreshed and I'm ready to play legos/dollies/do dinner together! Can I have a hug and a kiss first?"

[@JCWC1990]

@@cordeliaface thank you. That is incredibly helpful. ❤️😭❤️

[@DragonForgeStudio]

A friend suggested I might be on the spectrum, and my doctor also suspects ADD. It is so isolating to have these uncontrollable outbursts when I’m normally a very thoughtful, logical person. You’ve helped me feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone

[@glitchtimefail]

There are times when i feel like i want to scream at the very top of my lungs when things feel like theyre going wrong

[@DunderMifflin_ThisisPam]

I feel incredibly irritated when I'm trying so hard to just maintain what I have to do in the world, and people continue to push and demand. I don't have a diagnosis, and the only reason I would get one is so I could explain to family and others that I'm at my breaking point and here's why.

[@aylayzrianne]

i'm really starting to think that i might be autistic because i can relate to every single thing you said. my relationship with my mom is very strained right now because i keep being irritable and she kept trying to talk to me and i kept ending up snapping at her. i don't know why i'm irritable at all, but your video made me realize some things about myself. i'm an adult and the more i watch other autistic videos, the more i feel less alone. thank you so much

[@Thepakistaniaspie]

My biggest struggle as an Autistic person in my relationships is my irritability. Communication to others when anxiety is rising is so key

[@katya762]

I haven't been diagnosed (the waiting list is really long in the UK) but the more I learn about autism the more I believe that I am autistic. Your videos really help me understand my feelings and actions, thank you 🙂🧡

[@sampreston1791]

I'm in the same position, I almost feel I know for certain and don't care apart for needing some support (my partner is asd also and I find carrying all the adulting all the time too much).

[@micahcjames]

I’ve been compiling a list of autism traits because I suspect that I’m on the spectrum. I wrote “easily irritable” last week and this video came up in my recommendations a few days later. I appreciate your content, it’s so helpful. It reassures me that there’s nothing wrong with me. ♥️

[@lizad6030]

Same I've made notes of my traits and quirks and I'll find out in october anytime and I'm scared to show my parents BC it might be embarrassing but it might help but idk Update - I still didn't find out and I still didn't show them

[@z1cke92]

Does make sense for me! I get really irritated when my anxiety rises! I hate it so much, because I get so bitchy with my loved ones. Then I become so sorry that I get a meltdown...

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

Running is my 'socially acceptable' stim. Also holding on to my arm and flicking my nails or holding a pen. I also used to feel so guilty for needing time alone however now that my kids are grown up and since my diagnosis earlier this year I now recognise that time alone is important and preferable than trying to force social situations etc. When I become frustrated and irritable, my mantra is 'just be kind'. I say this and find it helps because so often I have no idea why I'm anxious, frustrated and irritable (Alexithymia) and it stops me saying or doing something regretful. Ella, your videos have been extremely helpful. Thanks so much. I work casual/full-time hours as a nurse and today is my 'alone' day at home that I need to reset.

[@jamarawilliams5819]

I'm with you on feeling guilty about alone time, I ask friends for permission and they assure me it's fine! So it takes getting used to!

[@chrischris5710]

I think I'll have to try your mantra

[@readthebook55]

My mantra is "Quiet, calm and kind." I say it to myself before social situations. Being retired has helped a lot.

[@kelsohunt460]

The first video I have seen on autism and irritability. I have days like that for year's. I have been diagnosed with autism recently. A very helpful video.

[@artiemuse]

I love that saying. "peopling". Definitely going to use that for when I need a break. I can relate to a lot of this video, minus the kids part. Only the last year have I been able to recognize my PMS irritation and regular; Regular, for me, is when people don't follow rules/laws and PMS, is usually directed at myself or people close to me for almost anything. I love music to change my fight, flight, freeze response. Anyway, love your videos. You've helped me she'd light on a lot of my life. Thank you very much for making content.

[@artiemuse]

@Truman Exactly, less anti-social. Props to you for taking public transport. :) I got lost many times, but I'm tackling that challenge, again, on Tuesday. Seriously, I applaud anyone that make it through that challenge.

[@melissad8824]

This is really really brilliant. Until watching this, I didn't realize that my meltdowns were from a cumulative effect. So when I had a meltdown, I felt both really angry and logically thinking that I shouldn't be reacting so badly to whatever the seeming trigger was. But now that I reflect on those meltdowns, I can see that they came from a lot of buildup from multiple things gathering together like a snowball rolling down hill. And then of course comes the massive guilt during and after the meltdown, and thinking "why can't I just be a grownup already and handle things like this better?" Going to our car and letting my hubby do small shopping errands really helps me lower the anxiety level when we have to do a lot of shopping every other week. And we've started shopping online, which minimizes dealing with crowds and overstimulation. I'm also going to start paying more attention to the buildup and consciously seeking alone time for meltdowns so hopefully I don't affect my hubby and kids as much during them. Thank you so much for sharing your tips!

[@grassgeese3916]

I'm transgender. I take estrogen as a medication, and when the insurance company blocks my refills, I usually have a lot more meltdowns. I used to think that there was a weird "nocebo" (opposite of placebo) effect going on. Maybe it's a hormone thing, just like menstrual cycle affects you and others. Thank you for sharing, Ella. I hope my comment is validating for any other HRT gender weirdos / trans people out there.

[@DesperationLasts]

Rocking and pacing are my main stims, but I love a slinky. Highly recommend. I love the feel of the metal on my fingers and the sound it makes. I know this is an old video, but if you are new to your autism diagnosis/realization and may be watching everything you can on it like me.

[@DrKreiger]

An overly peopley week... Oh God how I relate to that.

[@mollysolomon1883]

the more videos I watch from you the more I understand about myself. you say a lot that you don't know what's different because it's just your experience that you've always had. That plays such a huge part in how long I've been able to carry on without ever admitting or dealing with the fact that I am on the spectrum. Even though it runs in the family I didn't entertain the thought because I didn't want to live my life with a label or let that rule my life. As a child I would feel this almost constant tight knot in the center of my chest and I didn't know what it was but it was so tight and it was hard to breath at times. I carried this tight knot for all the years of my childhood, through therapy, diagnosis of depression at a young age, behavioral problems, and lack of close connections. All the sensory issues, the angry reactions, the irritability, alexithymia, laughing at awkward times and saying out of place things, and oversharing. It's almost like I'm not myself anymore, I'm just Autism. I know some people feel relief when they get a diagnosis but I don't like it. I think what I'm feeling is grief and a deep loss of my sense of self.

[@chloebunde4455]

I relate to this so much! Before my autism diagnosis, I did not understand why I was so irritable! Now knowing I am neurodivergent, I find myself able to recognize more often that I am overstimulated by too much socializing or sensory input and I need to be alone in my safe space. It helps so much and I often find myself extremely refreshed after a few hours to myself.

[@FirstmaninRome]

Love your videos, I"m adding Peopling to my vocab straight away, gonna spread it everywhere!

[@ReiverBlue1971]

Final diagnosis in about a week Thank you for this one. I feel so awful about myself when I blow up at my wife. My nerves are completely exposed and I become really unpleasant (it combines with my unregulated emotions, EUPD, to make it even worse). It's been very much on my mind because she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and saves my life every single day. I end up feeling such an arse when she's done nothing to deserve it (quite the opposite). You've given me hope that I might forgive myself for it ;) I'll pass this on to my lovely lady ;) - Love & Chocolate

[@ReiverBlue1971]

​@@Siquomb1 Well, that's truly compassionate and thoughtful of you. The reason I have difficulty regulating my emotions is due to childhood brain trauma caused by the Catholic church. Being placed in a position of constant stress because the nun's and brothers I was taught by were constantly telling me that I was wrong, despite the facts pointing in exactly the opposite direction. Cortisol is released by the brain in times of stress but is only supposed to be triggered over short periods. Over long periods it starts to destroy the amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for the fight and flight emotions and responses). Keep your self righteousness to yourself

[@barnsey8380]

Thanks Ella. Hope you have had a chance to be kind to yourself and feel abit better now? Day 21 in cycle for me today and made a bad decision to take the kids swimming. Cue massive sensory overload. Had to crawl into bed once I got home. Spent the rest of the day colouring and eating salted caramel items (my current special interest). Less irritable now so I am actually functioning now and can make dinner for the family! It's so important to schedule in solitary activities so you can be the best mum/partner you can x

[@alystairmabloch401]

Thank god I'm not alone.

[@sampreston1791]

Nailed it for me, I've had a busy week and had to people and run errands in town, puppy sitting for my son and I could scream at my own shadow right now. I understand the guilt as my son is in a complex situation and I feel I should be there for him but that is very demanding for multiple reasons and means I struggle because then when I get home I can't get my needs met for personal space or special interests at home. It means you feel you have to choose between you or your responsibilities.

[@coolgirlfrozenfeet]

Things that make me more irritable on those irritating days are things like itchy seams, smelly armpits, socks sliding down into my boots, having tangled hair but forgetting my hairbrush, having a cut in the corner of my mouth, needing to use lip balm, trying not to go crazy with a hangnail that I can’t bite off because I don’t have teeth....and then people asking questions that I can’t listen to because I can’t concentrate.

[@marcyxfinn]

I remember getting these feelings when I was younger and having no idea where they came from. As I became a teenager I would resort to self harming out of anger and frustration. I can definitely relate to the aspect of being more irritable particularly around and during my period. I almost always forget until I remember what time of the month it is and I think “ohhh right”. I definitely need to create a routine for myself. It’s been a particular message I’ve heard over and over again. I just don’t like being too rigid with others but maybe that’s what I need because that’s what I feel compelled to do.

[@houseasyouseeit]

Yes! I know that feeling! I relate deeply as a mom and pet owner too!

[@zaneblack8029]

I guess, since I don't have periods, that my irritability with autism has been such a consistent problem that I've had to handle it by choosing to be sad when I realize I'm about to fight and break something. This is such a new angle to look at my problem. Thank you for helping me to understand the triggers of Depression with Autism.

[@vanissaberg5824]

What triggers my irritability the most is loud and rambunctious children yelling and running around squealing and too many people talking loudly and I can't have my peace and quiet to unwind. I try plugging into my music on my headphones and hiding if I can which to them makes me look antisocial. But nobody seems to notice that I can't be around people all day every day especially when visitors come over unexpectedly and they can't understand when I try to explain myself. It's especially bad when it's that time of month and my hormones are making me very depressed and anxious.

[@Flareontoast]

I also feel extremely irritable on the first day of my period. Sometimes meltdowns happen super easily. I missed some of your videos recently so it makes me happy to finally watch them! You always make me feel understood.

[@moonstonemama6742]

Finding your channel, and seeing some of the paralels in both our lives (being a woman with autism, having gone undiagnosed until well into my adult life, experiencing emotional dysregulation) has been so insightful for me. On an irritable day the tiniest things would throw me off. Such as: constantly having to readjust the shoulder strap on my bag, or having the wind blow my hair into my face all the time. I never knew why it got so bad, or that it was an indicator of stress, or over stimulation, and these coping strategies are very helpful

[@tiffskin3209]

Super relate-able!

[@hhectorlector]

Thank you for your work!

[@beccasomersmith6807]

You are great at explaining these things. Thank you Ella!

[@comfcomf]

This was very insightful. Thank you!

[@bethanythatsme]

Thank you 💜 Sending love from Oregon 🌲🌊❤

[@FirstEye999]

Totally This!!! Thank you

[@hashwel9649]

your channel gives me hope, thank u

[@presanctuary7279]

here in 2021 really appreciating this video. i've been stuck in this feeling, and you naming it has been SO groundbreaking. you are so well spoken. thank you!

[@sunnylight5753]

I’ve had that feeling for a Such a long time :( Thank you Purple Ella for your Channel💜🤗

[@sarahroblestorres8821]

OMG thank you so much for existing and investing your energy here! this human appreciate it!

[@RichardAllen7753]

I owe this entire day to a complete stranger. Thank you Ella.

[@AnGeLaOYA]

9:08 #1 Recognizing Irritability Before it becomes a problem Take time for yourself.. Sensory strategy (singing)... Nurturing... Relaxing...

[@kj3d812]

Love this video and LOVE YOUR PURPLE TARDIS! ❤❤

[@MrAtheistQueen]

Story of my life! Thanks for sharing!

[@LightsandVessels]

Thank you Ella. your clips help me feel less alone in the world, less of an alien

[@artisticafflair408]

This makes so much sense now. Thank you so much. This is exactly how I feel but didn't know it was related to autism. Thank you so so so much. X

[@karencanan2701]

I think it's hard to distinguish irritability from real things that are going wrong or are difficult. It's tempting to justify the irritability by focusing on the real things that are going wrong. Thank you for this video though, since I think it's good advice to recognize the irritability and try to withdraw...

[@kelseasmith5007]

I am so thankful I found you. Please never stop making content. ❤️🙏

[@querkind5951]

It was very good to hear, that others are struggling with this, too. Thank you for making this video!

[@claudiatleon3145]

I just want to say Thank you for sharing! I love the way you explain how your feelings affect your mental state. It's clear and clean.

[@Nina-nd4bl]

Thank you for such smart input

[@aleahberylaine5311]

Bless you, thank you so much.

[@kimberlymarkham1676]

Thank you!!! I identify with everything you are saying. I’m a mom of several kids with several pets, and always feeling like I fall short no matter how hard I try. I actually feel like I can combat these irritable/meltdown moments after listening to you. ❤️ Thanks for taking a moment out of your own irritable day to share with us!

[@Zombie_Spaceman]

Omg! I love your puple doctor who necklace! That's awesome! Also great video. Thank you!

[@EastVanC]

Thank you for this. I have so much guilt and regret when I come out of my funk and can't understand what I was so upset about.

[@ashleyl9784]

You are so helpful to me!

[@chickosoup]

you’re amazing for filming this video! irritability is such a huge thing for me and recognition is the most important step :)

[@hayleydm3623]

Thank you for this!!!!! I feel like this often, it’s great to know why and that it’s OK.

[@corinnecostello3946]

That is me exactly . Wow thank you for your posts they are so comforting for me just to know it’s not only me. Even though i would never wish it on anyone. Anxiety is the worst part of my life and always has been

[@TropeOlogy]

I had that feeling, until you made me realize it right now... thank you.. and dang you 😝😜 I discovered your channel a year ago, when I became a first time mother and had a very difficult time of it. You made me realize that knowledge of autism was my new goal, the way to cope with life, and being a parent. So Thank you! For all the great work you do, and for all the stories and knowledge you share.

[@MrJovagu]

I can absolutely agree on every word you are saying 💗 thanks 👍☺️

[@jaclynwright9684]

This video was so relatable. I love your content I follow you on TikTok and just found your content here and I am so glad I did. ❤️

[@cecilyirvinecook]

Very reassuring thank you

[@thunderchieff9744]

Thank you for saying this because I've never been able to describe it as clearly.

[@michellepark9163]

Yes I can really relate. You are so great articulating your experience. I also need to take space away from people and stimulation when I start to get overwhelmed and irritable. I totally get feeling guilty for not being available to the people who are close to me during these times. I tell myself that I do not need to be available at all times and when I am together with them I am present and loving. Sorry you are feeling this way and hope you feel better!

[@k.couture6782]

Thank you for this. My inability to manage my stress and irritability have really been impacting my life negatively. You’ve given me some good insight

[@UnaLichtlein]

Two days ago I dealt with this and my conclusions were just the same afterwards: Stay away from people you love and buy a Menstruation Tent! 😉😆👍 Because on these days it's really tricky to be around me and it's not worth damaging precious relationships and hurting people. I also tend to be clumsy then and nothing seems to work. It's like I want to go through a door before opening it! Nothing makes sense, everything seems complicated and wrong and I'm battling and hating myself constantly. I also had that thought that in this hormonal phase I just cannot mask anymore and so I feel forced to show off the difficulties I'm having and then I get scared that I will be rejected by people I love, because of that... It's really horror, but like you I realised that this time I did understand a bit more why that happens and what I can do. I will try to prepare and come up with a plan next time, instead of anxiously waiting how it will turn out this time... I also had an important doc date and I was anxious to go there the already the whole weekend long because I never been to this part of the City before and did not know what's waiting there for me. This was one of the reasons my strength literally melted in the morning that day and I had to cancel everything and feeling so bad about it... Next time I will do my best to take better care of myself. Much love to you! Never ever has someone been so similar to me! I can't wait to watch all your content! Thank you for you! 💜

[@treasurechest2951]

You have no idea how helpful this was for me today. I’ve been in slight panic and rage over news I got today. It is coming from anxiety like you said, and this explains the circular thoughts I’d get wrapped up in for days. You gave great tips on what to do. It’s weird to be finding this in midlife and I wish I had this info way sooner.

[@TheBaloubob]

Thanks for explaining to me all my irritability. I've been recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrom, and your video is quite a reveal for me. Thank you !

[@nryane]

I resonate strongly with most of this video’s messages. Being a mother and being irritable with one’s child, despite wanting to be and do all things loving and motherly, does bring up huge guilt!!! My child and her father bore the brunt of my irritability. Your recommendation of learning to recognize one’s irritability in order to reduce its impact on loved ones would have helped me then. Now a grandmother, I’m waiting for my December autism diagnosis appointment and learning about all the ways I’ve been and AM. I now become weepy as I’m overstimulated, so that’s a sure signal to STOP and rest! A blessing, as my dog is so sweet and placid and reminds me that I, too, can be that way, with time and attention to self. I’ve been giving myself “me” time when tired or overstimulated, and that certainly makes me a calmer, more peaceful person than the wife/partner/parent I was when younger. This video was at least 3 years ago. Would you be willing to do an update, either here or on another video, so those of us self-diagnosed/newly diagnosed would be able to read/see how your advice worked for you? Thank you. Blessings!

[@robalexanderhealth7763]

Thanks for this

[@petermcgee2162]

Another great and concise packed with points worth revisiting especially during calmer moments acknowledging irritability will reoccur .

[@peekaboo7424]

Thank you so much for this video. You explain it so well. Helps me to understand myself more.

[@Sameoldfitup]

Very well described

[@janewalker1907]

Thank you so much for making your videos, I am 58 and undiagnosed as autistic but your truthfulness in explaining how you feel is exactly how I feel. I am going to try your recommendations for coping

[@geraldinegranger9186]

Thanks for this! And I would very much like to see a video on daily routine.

[@kaylaschroeder1]

This is my fifth video of yours in a row. I'm really grateful for your experiences and information sharing. I've been researching a multitude of diagnoses across many spectrums, but the ones that I keep coming back to often are ADHD and Autism. Listening to you sharing your experiences with both feels incredibly similar to my experiences, especially with irritability and how that can overwhelm or lead to a total shut down, which is where I'm at right this moment. It'll pass, but when it hits, I feel nearly unable to do anything about it. Thanks, again. 🌷

[@amberdickson3783]

Yes! I deal with this!

[@yusukechannelraisingautism5401]

i'm trying to learn everything, get info everywhere and i found ur channel, it helps me a lot. I'm new here. Thank you for the infos.

[@NidusFormicarum]

Yes, perhaps a relaxing special interest, because my real passion is composing and that does indeed make me happy... for a while. The problem is that I start to do it compulsory and then I don't eat and sleep well and after a couple of days really dark, destructive feelings are coming back.

[@annakovacs246]

Thank god for this video 😊 I'm not diagnosed officially but I suspect that I may be on the spectrum and today is a day exactly like the one you are explaining. 😬

[@empowerment.artist]

I have one of those days right now! I wanted to add that I am sometimes actually angry for something that needs to change, but the conditioning to hold back anger wins, making everything build up for years. (!) After I got "diagnosed" with ASD (plus other factors changing in my life.) I am letting myself be angry, too. But, yes, lovely advice, it´s certainly enough of those irritable days without any reason (except overstimulation.) I also literally want to run away!

[@w8bblefr8g82]

I'm very lucky that my dad has always told me he understands that bubbling over, and that he knows it's not personal, and when I'm in that state and yelling and critical he doesn't take it personally as long as I don't make it personal with my words. To be able to "lash out" and burn out and cry and see that it just rolls off his back and just sees me stimming essentially, it's a safe feeling I'll never take for granted. I have so much respect and admiration for him.

[@w8bblefr8g82]

Like the last time I woke up to last minute plans needing to be made for me to go in to the shops (something I still struggle with). Not having enough time to plan and establish comfort levels led to an argument and me being mortally terrified of shops in that moment. I was let off so I didn't have a meltdown but I went to explain to him and ended up pretty much scream crying trying to explain and in that moment he just looked at me like he was just listening to me talking and I went off for a moment and he said his part n both lots of sorrys n hugs lol

[@SweetiePieTweety]

Nailed it!

[@kev2669]

you are describing me, a 53 year old man who has always been seen as the problem in most situations.......thankyou for helping me understand x

[@sksk-bd7yv]

Will send this on.

[@dawnrobertson3067]

This was a very good video Ella. It made a lot of sense to me. I totally understood how you feel cos I'm the same. My wee lassy struggles with this a lot too. And it can cause us to get ratty with each other.

[@dsiev27]

Hi Ella! I love your videos. I’m autistic, my partner also has adhd, with four kids 🙃. Could you do more videos on how you accommodate and navigate having a healthy relationship!? 💕

[@360fausto]

I take a deep breath as a warning sign to let people know I’m about to explode 🤯

[@paulflint6254]

Anxiety is horrific, my deepest sympathys , its one of the symptoms of my bipolar, when im down, feel terrified. What you mentioned about over stimulation i can relate, i have to be on my own a lot, unless manic. I would struggle with a partner and kids, as i need many hours to relax on my own

[@BadgerLord]

irritability is a big problem for me.. i will watch this video more than once

[@justinmurray9854]

I'm on the spectrum, and I can 100 percent relate to this as I have the same exact problems with irritability.

[@encahill]

Smart phones have been a gift for socially acceptable stimming .. better than fidget spinners or other stim toys. Put the ear buds in, blast some rock music and it's much easier to travel on public transport etc.

[@jennifercoolidgeislife6760]

Great advice and nice LEGOs !