My first breakdown was in the Navy I was about 26 😩

I do skin picking

I relate soooo much. Thank you for this video ❤ I think one of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed earlier is because adhd and autism can sort of cover each other and blur the simptoms and sadly not enough doctors know about audhd

Yes! And single mother for 10 years of neuro diverse children,no help of family or peace. And it gets harder and lonelier each day 😢

My friend recently realized that I don't cry when I'm sad, I just exist. She wasn't sure what to do with that. She asked me about it, and I told her (in more words) that I just... don't show my emotions how others might. It was a strange conversation because I never realized before that it might be weird for people that I cry maybe once a year. I cried once when my dad passed and I loved/love him very much. It didn't mean I didn't feel sad, it just meant I wasn't going through those same stages other people might expect. I am very sorry your cat passed <3

I want to take an autism assessment, but would be too embarrassed to make up a story 😂

I got my diagnosis a couple of days ago. The assessment I received was much like yours. When she gave me my diagnosis she said that she had asked me questions deliberately to engender certain emotions and then watched my face. She said the reason she diagnosed me was because I did not show my feelings expressively even though I was feeling things deeply. I did the story thing and I passed that really well. I turned the 5 objects into a person and had them performing with props I imagined to be different things, like a pipecleaner became a boa, and the block became a stage. She said no one had ever actually built an entire person from the objects...lol. I am really autistic, but also really imaginative. I live completely in my head. My imagination is just another aspect of my autism. This is why we need a broader view of what autism looks like, because we're missing a bunch of imaginative people that have all of the other traits.

Omg someone else who lived off pickles and cheese sandwiches!!!!!!!!

To me it feels like. The days you take a nap in the middle of the day and you think it's the next day but is not and you left feeling confused and feeling off.

Thank you, delayed emotions and delayed understanding... most of the others also check... Most of my emotional masking are around people both expecting a different emotional response than my natural one and invalidating my emotional experience when I try to explain it either in explaining what I should have felt, or that the intensity are wrong. Or well this person has it worse so you know you shouldn't feel because it could always be even worse...

Thank you so much for this video. For you explicitly saying this works for me, figure out what works for you!

I am with somebody who I thibk he is autistic and it is very often unbearable. I feel so lonely because he cannot decode his emotions ot understand mine. A relationship is all about sharing problems as eell and finding solutions. If one is autistic and they cannot help you with a stragle then it is one side relationship... It cannot work..

The blue axolotl is the cutest thing ever 🥺🥺🥺

If you chew you get punched. I’m exaggerating but chewing and hearing someone breathe, gets under my skin.

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type lately and I feel like it’s not quite ringing cause I have this need for routine and sameness, common sense ain’t common to me and I have a hard time knowing how to engage people and how to deal with them on a fundamental level. So I’m suspecting autism but my eye contact ain’t that disgusting and I don’t feel exposed or intimidated when I look at people so I’m so confused.

Yes.

I'm so sorry :(

Pretty much… moving to California in September!! I’m running away from Arizona where my extended family is toxic and there’s no career paths for me

Oh sweet internet sister…sending you love through the web strings and wishing you peace while processing your loss. I’m sure we’ll see our furbabies again one day! 🌈

Oh I tried to play DreamLight Valley, currently playing Sims 4 or Taonga, but my bro introduced me to Forge of Empires.

YOur an amazing skater, love that they are purple. I have two autistic relations, my nephew and great nephew, amazing. Studying SEN Cache Level 3

Excellent description 🫶

Thanks for this! When I search for ADHD and interruptions, the results are all about people with ADHD interrupting others, but we also have the problem of getting upset when WE’RE interrupted (even when not rudely) when trying to focus. This happens to me at certain times of the day, mostly early morning, or any time I’m hyper focused (sometimes I hyperfocus because I NEED the calmness of being focused) and when someone, like my husband interrupts to tell me a story about what happened at work, or my cats bother me after I’ve gotten up 50 times to make sure they have everything they need & much more, which all of this causes a 15 minute task to take 2 hours and it’s still not done, it REALLY upsets me. This happened this morning - I was concentrating on something important, and my husband is talking to me without getting my attention first, and all I heard was something about a woman being pulled over by the police - When I was able to stop and listen to him, I thought he was telling me that this is something he seen on the way home from work (he’d just been talking about work before that when he interrupted me before). So, when I could focus enough to listen to him, I asked him to start from the beginning, and everything he was saying confused me. So, I asked him to completely start over (after asking him several questions about what he was saying and his answers confused me even more) - he was talking about a stupid video he seen, that had nothing to do with us, his work, or about anyone we know. I got angry, but didn’t show it. Then, my cat came in and wanted me to go outside, AGAIN, for the 3rd time in the last hour. I felt like exploding, then I felt like crying. I’m newly diagnosed, have an rx, but don’t like the side effects, so I don’t take it unless I have to - I tool one-fourth of the tablet, and now I feel a bit better. Sorry for the rant - *but THANK YOU for making a video about this topic* - I REALLY needed acknowledgement right now, it’s confusing because, not only do people with ADHD have the problem with interrupting others, but the opposite is a problem too, along with the CONFUSING fact that ADHD causes us to be able to be distracted easily, but also causes us to HYPER FOCUS and RESIST being distracted - it’s so seemingly incongruent, but makes sense at the same time.

I love your videos and I have special needs

It's a thing in my relationship where unless I already know what I want I cannot decide anything. Which means most of the time I rely on my partner to decide things for me, especially with little things because the overwhelm of trying to make that decision is just debilitating. And luckily for me he knows me super well (better than I know me imo) so that usually works out pretty well as long as I mention any input I Do have - like I really don't want X or Z tonight, or I really Do want L included in whatever we do for that decision.

Your description of hunting dopamine at the cost of your dedicated time is so painfully accurately specific and descriptive of my life currently. I really need to get back on my meds for ADHD. >.<

*THEY HAVE GENGAR SKINS!?* I thought you could only buy them stuffed online

Well maybe thats what happened to me and i literally checked completely out and lost every single bit of that beautiful life I spent building for thirty years and it was completely gone with in a year💔

I was slow 2 accept new foods yet if/when I was ready n willing n able 2 taste it at my leisure I'd find myself being reminded in time sensory wise n would even crave experiencing/tasting them again, though I grew 2 love tomatoes I hated/still hate/detest ketchup the smell can set me off ever eating anything = even though I learned it's not real food just pure garbage poster child over processed foods eh!?!!1:54Pm5/4/2024

Ella, I have really been enjoying seeing you happy in your videos! I had found your channel some years ago when I was researching autism. However, I left that topic behind for a while, and found you again, now that I'm back research autism and adhd. I saw that you cut your hair so I watched that video and I loved it! I feel like I get to see you come into yourself and it is so inspiring to me to find ways to come into myself as well. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this. People get so mad but I HATE choosing things. I just continue to tell people, don't make me pick because I don't like it and I don't want to pick.

I have to remind myself daily that I'm not a failure. Rather, I was just incredibly misinformed and subsequently misguided, and it's okay to be refiguring my life out at 37.

Sorry to hear that! 😢

Entirely diverse but not entirely defunct

You're awesome Ella. Unshaming ourselves is such a big part of the journey ❤

that just hit me hard......i dont have any Habits i think....there is nothing i do regularly at the same time at all......not even feeding my cats...it´s always a different time....

Realmente sorry for your loss😢

Hugs hun

❤

But I don't do lists

Wow all of this resonates with me

I’m so sorry for your loss of your beautiful cat! Grief is so hard to deal with and it’s difficult how to deal with all these big emotions x

I can't tell these two apart for my AuDHD brain. Just trying to think about separating them is making me feel some kind of meltdown coming on.

Love my slug fidget!!

“Authentically autistic way” sounds like you’re playing acting a disease.

Ella, I haven't watched one of your videos in a while, but I wanted to comment, because I loved this video! Your hair looks wonderful and so much more so because you love it! It is really nice to see you being so happy and full of energy! congratulations!

Same😊

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat Ella 😔 my bird passed away last year, so I know the pain of losing a pet. I know I'm just a person on the internet, but please know that I'm always here if you need a friend. I myself am also autistic and adhd and I have trouble recognising, understanding and processing my emotions too. My therapist actually has these emotion cards, and there was 3 parts to an emotion, so like the head, the eyes and the mouth, and he'd get me to try to figure out what the emotion was by showing me the card with the eyes on it, or showing me the card with just the mouth on it. Could you maybe try that for when you're unsure about what emotion you're experiencing? Sending you lots of love and big hugs Ella! ❤️🫂❤️🫂

My condolences for your loss, thanks for the video

Oh my god😢. On 19th of april my beloved tomcat died. So tomorrow it will be two weeks. I never had a longer relationship to someone else (his sister who unfortunatly is not my favourite is still alive and living with me, but he was my soul-compagnion). He would have got 16 in summer. It was an emergency, he was screaming from one second to the other and I had to bring him to a vet-clinic where they told me it is a very quick growing cancer. So I took him home under pain-meds knowing I had to order a at-home-vet to kill him the next day. The night was horrible and the next day of cause too. I had him in my arms until he died and then for hours until he was brought to the place where he was burned. Today will be the first day I shower and at the moment the bedsheets are in the washing machine. I feel guilty like to clean the rest of him away on me and the bed he spent his last hours with me. I was not crying for the last days but now I am. I KNOW he is dead and I lost him, but I cannot imagine never see him.again, never hear his meow, feel his head bumping in me. I miss him so much. But I can either feel sooo bad I want to die or feel nothing. The first days I didn't speak, eat, whatever, just cried. Then I ordered wine (after more then a year not drinking any alcohol) because I have no emergency meds at home and beeing alone had nobody to get me some. Of cause that's not the perfect solution but I must say it helped and I needed a break and some sleep. Next wednesday his ashes will be delivered. Never did that before with any pet but I want to take him with me to my dads grave when its my time to die. I know he is not here anymore, holding him in my arms the hours after he died helped me understand as his body changed. But it was very hard to give him away, only KNOWING what will happen to his body let me do it. He smelled not like him any more, but his paws looked so sweet and his tail was still movable and the fur on it so soft... I really thought of making a plushie out of him to be able to cuddle with him forever. Just knowing what people would say and that they would find it very disturbing helped me to stop. For me he is a person and still grieving for my daddy who died now two years ago I can say it is the same or even harder as they had been my closest persons ever I loved most but I lived the last almost 16 years with my tomcat. I wish I could feel somehow "moderate", but it is either "I want to die, please god let me die I cannot breathe, it hurts so much, it's overwhelming" or a just intellectual memory without emotions. I wonder how NTs are doing it. Sorry for your loss, Ella, but I am glad You made this video talking about it as I feel so separated from the world these days.