Autism & Dating: 6 Signs It's Time to End a Dating Relationship

[@JodiCarlton]

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[@shelley848]

Wow! Needed this advice a few years ago. Thankfully the relationship is over finally but it was a misaligned mess. Saving this to listen to again if I ever feel ready to give dating another shot.

[@bigalex7393]

About 4 point. How is that not normal to periodically outsource something to each in your relationship depending on your strengths and weaknesses? I'd argue that helping each other is one of the aspects of healthy relationship. Helping is not equal being a "parent" and a "child". Plus, you make your household functioning more efficient.

[@JodiCarlton]

I totally agree that periodically we help each other out in healthy relationships. When there’s a pattern of imbalance where one partner is consistently taking on more than the other, particularly basic adult responsibilities, then you have a problem. Also, if one partner is still behaving like a teenager in managing their household and the relationships responsibilities it’s problematic. This person may be successful in their career but have difficulty in personal relationships and responsibilities. Thanks for your question!

[@chrismaxwell1624]

What happens with autistic masking and appearing different? I know people who are different mask with everyone they date. If the previous mask ends with rejection they change the mask when dating the next person. I have done that myself in my 20s then just gave up as I don't mask well. Had far more success being authentically weird, take it or leave it. I do mask still for short periods of time but most you get the real me.

[@JodiCarlton]

Masking is actually a necessary part of dating that allows for slowly showing someone more and more about who you are. As we slowly reveal ourselves to people we expose our inner thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, strengths, and fears. Think of it as our soul becoming gradually more naked. You don’t show up on a first date wearing no clothes but eventually as you feel safer and more connected you start to feel comfortable with being more exposed. Eventually as you build intimacy it feels good to be naked and close to someone (it’s an analogy for building true intimacy- not talking about hook ups! 😁 ). So a mask is more about showing bits of who you are slowly over time - but those bits are really you (not something you’re trying to be to make the other person like you).

[@aylex1974]

If is over is over don’t try to help or figure out what happened It is what it is thanks for the help

[@Portia620]

U just stayed they should not date! Then said in 20s should date? Which is it!? My thoughts.. they need experience even older adults. How will they learn?

[@danielleo6855]

There's the IF in there that IF they have trouble with the responsibility of being an adult they should deal with that before dating

[@Portia620]

This is why marriages fail!!! People need to grow in realionships and if the other partner is willing to support that grow then why should they NOt date? Bad advice lady

[@JodiCarlton]

Yes growth is important when in an aligned relationship. A big part of why marriages fail, though, is because individuals ignore signs of misalignment and red flags, but get married anyway. Then they spend years and evades trying to fix themselves and each other when truthfully they’re just not a fit. “Growth” doesn’t fix that.