Autism Moms are making a MOCKERY of Autism.

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💛WATCH NEXT💛:
9 Signs You are Probably NOT Autistic...: • 9 Signs You are Probab...
You're Not Autistic, You're just Privileged.: • You're Not Autistic, Y...
The 4 Types of Autistic Masking: • The 4 Types of Autisti...
📸 Instagram 📸 : / imautisticnowwhat
00:00 Young people are appropriating autism?
📒 Sources 📒:
Are Trans People Appropriating Autism Video: • Are Trans People Appro...
Trans Waiting Times: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england...
Risk Markers for Suicide: molecularautism.biomedcentral...
Autism Parents Failed by System: www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...
TikTok nd_pysch: www.tiktok.com/@nd_psych/vide...
ContraPoints Cancelled: www.newsweek.com/youtuber-con...
Buck Angel Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck_Angel
Buck Angel Instagram: / buckangel
Transexual vs Transgender: www.healthline.com/health/tra...
www.thepinknews.com/2018/03/1...
Autism Levels: iacc.hhs.gov/about-iacc/subco...
Autism Severity is difficult to measure: www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/...
Autism is Underdiagnosed: www.thelancet.com/journals/la...
www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2023/jun/n...
Autism Varying Support Needs: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
What is Stimming: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
What is echolalia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia
Male to Female Autism Ratio: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28545...
DSM-5: www.tricare-west.com/content/...
Refrigerator Mothers: www.tricare-west.com/content/...
Autism Parents Blamed for Children: www.tricare-west.com/content/...
Why Aspergers was included in ASD DSM-5: www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/...
PDD-NOS: www.healthline.com/health/aut...
Autism Diagnostic Criteria: www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp...
Autism Causes: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Adults Discover they're autistic after Child's Diagnosis: www.theguardian.com/society/2...
OCD and Autism: www.spectrumnews.org/features...
Seizures and Autism: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-....
Left Handed Stigma: nhchc.org/a-closer-look-are-l...
Down Syndrome: www.intellectualdisability.inf...
Autism Waitlist: www.theguardian.com/society/2...
ABA Controversy: www.spectrumnews.org/features...
ABA Recommended Age: www.chop.edu/health-resources...
Trans Waitlist: www.gendergp.com/nhs-waiting-...
Paige Layle TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@paigelayle/vi...
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Phew! A lot of work went into this week’s video - I’m surprised it’s actually up on time! There was a lot to unpack here. If you’d like to know a bit more about the dangers of being a high-masking autistic individual (and why we’re not just ‘a little bit autistic), you can check out the other video I posted this week: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iJvOY3iqhrubfsU And here’s the other TikTok reaction video I mentioned (You’re not autistic, you’re just privileged): kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6G2eXtuq9KmiaM Or if you need something light and happy after this, here’s some actually autistic memes to enjoy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j3uUq3lohpeWq8U Thank you soooo very much for being here 💛💛💛

[@Emz2468]

Can I just say like ..... what bwnefit is it to a nuerotypical to "pretend" to be autistic? Like oh yeah, communication problems, sensory issues and so much more. What a hoot 😂 it's not a party to be autistic 😂

[@sidhedanu]

To give you a deeper understanding of the term transsexual, the way Buck uses it...this isn't a term to describe those who choose to medically transition. It means someone who is gender dysphoric and does everything possible to live their lives as the opposite sex. This usually involves medical intervention, so it's a fine distinction. Those against transactivism are mostly upset at putting children under the age of 18 on hormone blockers because this stops puberty entirely, leading to underdeveloped genitalia and a life devoid of orgasms. For example, Jazz Jennings whose penis was too small to create a large enough vagina and who has had 4 bottom surgeries. Buck and other transsexuals like him encourage children to sit with their feelings and get therapy to determine if they actually have gender dysphoria. There are so many detransitioners out there, so I don't think that's an unreasonable stance. Children cannot consent.

[@Stempy-channel]

Please go back the the yellow thumbnails :c

[@Authentistic-ism]

Thank you for your work on this video. I'm really enjoying it. I can just tell from the material that it was not only work but emotional labor that went into you making this for us. Quite a heavy listen

[@badmonkeyking]

thank you for this share its going to be hard to watch and you gave some warning to that which is very much *deep bow*

[@Hyenaaman]

the "autism mom" view on autism is so frustrating. "autism is the worst thing ever and a tragedy that only ever causes pain" is such an extremely narrow view lol. obviously autism DOES make life harder, its a disability for a reason, but treating it likes it worse than the bubonic plague is SO awful.

[@juliancalero8012]

Views like that makes it more of a disability than it would be otherwise if ASD was actually accommodated for by general society

[@mellowhny]

it's a view that so many people have... even professionals like i do have support needs but I'm not disabled enough to be taken seriously it's like you are somewhere in-between and not normal enough but also not disabled enough and you don't wanna look like you think less of people who are more disabled but you don't fit in there but people think less of you because they are not autistic and you are... it's really hard

[@ww3196]

It's especially frustrating because it's not the autism mom's autism usually. The mother isn't the one with autism, isn't the one with high support needs, isn't the only who is disabled by it. So it's so fucking annoying to see them center their own feelings and experiences, to see them speak over the actual autistic person in the room - their own child.

[@OhhCrapGuy]

"autism only ever causes pain" is certainly one of the more absurd things that people seem to believe. You know what autistic people really love doing? Having extreme special interests to such a degree that it overrides things like "eating" and "sleeping" and "going to the bathroom". And for some of us, that special interest is "technology" or "genetics" or "the immune system". Autism causes plenty of other things besides pain, like Calculus, Newtonian Gravity, and Math Proofs. And because autistic people are far more common in research fields, that results in one of the funniest facts in the world (stolen from somewhere, I don't recall where): Vaccines don't cause autism, but autism causes vaccines.

[@ChristoffRevan]

There are valid points some of these people make though...for example, there ARE a lot of young people nowadays pretending they have mental health issues or psyiological disabilities like autism. They "self diagnose" and then they act like they're part of some special club so they feel like they belong to a group...either for social media clout or to gain benefits. The latter is particularly immoral and just plain wrong because they often do this to get accommodations for schooling (university too)... essentially taking resources and money away from people that actually are mentally/physically handicapped. And then when these people are caught in the lie at some point or another, it leads to the general public being distrustful of those that say they have depression, anxiety, autism, or any other type of issue that you can't necessarily "see" like you could a physical disability...which is why doctors make you jump through a lot of hoops, not because they don't like you or something but because they have to make sure you aren't lying. Also, it isn't just for school benefits but these people lie to get government money and workplace accommodations...THIS is literally fraud, and another reason why the general public is more inclined to distrust self diagnosing because frankly...a good portion of self diagnosing is incorrect either purposely to lie, or mistakenly by thinking you have something based on only a few unrelated symptoms. I guarantee you that a lot of people here in the comments that claim they have autism in fact are merely introverted, or they have mixed levels of depression, anxiety, ADHD, or other different conditions and NOT autism. So please, let's not be naive here. It's not that "neurotypicals are against us", it's that they legitimately have true reasons to have initial doubts if a diagnosis isn't official from a doctor. What we should do as neurodivergents is to call people out for faking and playing the system. We should also realise that we aren't some monolith of an identity, just because you and I are autistic doesn't mean we're the same...it's a spectrum for a reason. So, we aren't part of a community together, and you shouldn't treat it like you're in one. It's good to use common experience to RELATE to others on the spectrum, but we need to stamp out the idea that being disabled means you're part of a "special group", because that's why a lot of young people are trying to falsely diagnose themselves...they so desperately want to belong to something that they're willing to purposely or mistakenly portray themselves as disabled when they aren't...or at least, not autistic

[@shovel4040]

It's real ironic that people say "dancing isn't real stimming, it's not autistic enough" and when an autistic influencer shows her unfiltered stims she gets bullied off the internet 🙄

[@rn6345]

Please tell a professional dancer that their art is the same as an autistic person doing random moves.

[@42seven]

nothing is enough

[@rdmname]

dancing is definitely a form of stimming. i've trained in competitive dancing since age 3 and i consider it one of the reasons that i wasn't perceived or detected as autistic cause it lowered my urge to use my usual stims. it's also something that, mostly, just involves being in tune and using your own body, it's quite self focussed and since it doesn't need a lot of communication or being socially engaging, it's also calming and reduces stress. especially contemporary or modern dance is well suited for asd people.

[@alveolate]

are the ones who say it's "not enough" the same as the ones who say it's "too much"? it's also important to recognise that the toxic folks on social media are not an amorphous bunch who act off a singular hive mind or something. they have different concerns stemming from their own particular experiences. heck, some of them are just bandwagoners who click and forget. social media being so unregulated and algorithm-driven for clicks... makes it an overwhelming experience for people in unfortunate niches, where the algorithm "decides" to amplify a certain type of post to a certain type of negative user. on the one hand, if everyone was a decent human being with broad worldly views and kind opinions, then these algo-tricks would not be enough to turn the place into a cesspool... but in reality, everyone has some trigger points, and especially younger people may find themselves in "redpill" spirals where they keep getting fed these types of outrage material based on misinformation... and they get unwittingly sucked into that space of "folks who bully other folks off the internet". it's important that we educate everyone about how social media works. media literacy and internet literacy needs to be taught as compulsory subjects at grade school or middle school. kids need to know how these algorithms work and how a single nasty message could be all it takes to send a vulnerable person off permanently.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@alveolateDid you really go “Ableism? Time to ignore that and talk about internet literacy-“

[@probsnooneyouknowtbh3712]

"...I mean I'm socially awkward." "We all are." If that were true, if everyone were socially awkward, there would be no concept of socially awkward because it would just be the norm. Just saying.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

True!!

[@richarddunleavy3011]

That's the exact sort of gaslighting that I dealt with my entire childhood, I would communicate an issue I was having and it was always EVERYONE DEALS WITH THAT! 🙃🫠🙃🫠

[@gwenpicchi5719]

​@@richarddunleavy3011 I doubt it happens to everyone, but I'm sure you're not alone either. If it's a hearing issue, you can join me in the half-deaf squad!

[@UnquenchableHarvest]

Yeah, true true. I'm not socially awkward. Everybody loves me and I fit in most places easily. Okay, eat sh**! :)

[@LilChuunosuke]

They think an occasional slip-up when they're tired or caught off-guard is somehow comparable to becoming effectively mute because people look at you like you're a freak every time you speak for not correctly adhering to the neurotypical script.

[@jayofarts]

"are trans kids appropriating autism" as an autistic trans person that was a WILD thing to hear

[@sabinethegaydragongeek]

Yeah ikr!

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

Theyre implying autism is a cultural or ethnic tradition that can be appropriated and exploited for usually profit like a plains Cree war bonnet or a cheongsam, which a)it's not, anyone can be autistic and anyone can join the autistic and by proxy disabled community at any time b) wish these types of people had the same energy for actual appropriation like sports teams using redface as their mascots and team names or when a fashion house steals and outright copies the fur parka of a deceased Inuit "shaman" (not a fan of this word same for 'medicine man') or angakkuq who still has living relatives and descendants you've deeply upset and disrespected

[@roxyamused]

fr

[@fallenbee]

Im so confused what they even mean by that. They're acting like you can be one or the other and you can't be both

[@LaurenCheriSOCFI]

It’s called Münchausen syndrome

[@RNS_Aurelius]

The view that autism is only real when a person is melting down is so tiring. "You're not really autistic until you fit my stereotypes"

[@33melonpaws77]

Society getting its knowledge from movies be like:

[@laurencewinch-furness9450]

Do these people think an autistic person has "stopped" being autistic when they're not melting down? I can "pass" as "normal" most of the time, but I have my moments. Do I only qualify as autistic when I'm in some sort of crisis?

[@ChristoffRevan]

You have to understand that a lot of people lie about being disabled... especially mental health disorders, or psyiological disabilities like autism. It's becoming an alarming trend nowadays that a lot of young people self diagnose themselves either purposely and falsely as autistic, or they mistakenly self diagnose themselves based on incorrect correlations of various symptoms. Purposely faking it is a thing for younger people especially because they want social media clout, as well as taking advantage of accommodations that schools/universities have for disabled people, as well as government aid/money and for the workplace. There are SO many people, for example, that lie about having anxiety so that they can get more time for taking tests at school as well as more time to turn in assignments, as well as getting to have longer breaks at work or even call off a lot more than you'd usually be able to get away with. Even those that mistakenly self diagnose end up basing their personality around it, which should be offensive to you and everyone else like us that are actually neurodivergent because they're portraying us falsely even if they don't necessarily understand they're doing so. Thing is, a lot of younger people want to feel they belong to a group, and they'll try desperately to join any group they can.

[@Bleplebeian]

im autistic, and i do have meltdowns. thats a part of autism for me. you know whats also a part of autism for me? i will get very excited and happy about things that may seem very small to other people, something as small as being able to pet a cat will become a permanent positive memory for me because i really like cats. i will also sometimes collect plushies related to my special interests/hyperfixations and then bring some of them out in public when i want to show them to someone, its something that makes me happy when im able to show other people stuff that i like especially if they end up liking it too. i also have a very strong sense of morality, i try my best to be as forgiving as i can be to other people and i try to be as kind of a person as i can be to anyone that i meet. some of that last part is because (although not severely) there was some people in my life who were mean to me, either because of the stuff i like/liked or because they found me annoying, so i try to do the opposite because i want to try to be a positive influence on the people around me.

[@Arrowloan]

They only see us when we do something they believe is wrong.

[@Autistic_Goblin]

"I'm so special because my child is a burden, so I'm super brave and strong because my child is autistic." Autism Moms are awful.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

YES! See my comment about an encounter I had with an Autism Mom at a grocery store. 10 years prior to my diagnosis. By a team of "medical professionals" in 2022. I doubt she was faking. Narcissistic Personality Disorder that is...

[@C-SD]

This!

[@lionessrampant26]

Don't forget "I know more about autism than actual autistic people because my child has autism" and "My child defines autism and all autists are the same as my child"

[@Respectable_Username]

@@TheWilliamHoganExperienceHeya! I know it's not the main point of your comment, but we shouldn't be throwing around the NPD label any more than we should be throwing around the autistic label as a general insult. It's a genuine mental health condition and it makes it a lot harder for those actually living with the condition (either themselves or with loved ones) to actually seek help. I know it's not your intention, but let's not use mental health labels as insults when we have perfectly good words like "self-centred" and "jerk" and "arsehole" that cover their behaviour just fine! /nm

[@Pinkiiiiii9]

Yes! Isn't this incredibly ironic? Complaining about other adults self diagnosing "to feel special" (as is their complaint) while Autism moms are doing LITERALLY the same thing? Using their child's condition to "feel special"? Ugh SO infuriating.

[@edithhuelskamp1649]

Saying "this person on tiktok, their autism doesn't look like my child's autism so theirs can't be real" is like claiming that having testicular cancer is not as real as lung cancer because it's not as severe and has some different symptoms.

[@9qhis]

Her point is like saying "I have stage 3 cancer and you have stage 1 cancer, so you dont have cancer!"

[@TheOtherBoobJustDropped]

THATS EXAVTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING like, people with pancreatic cancer have a 12% survival rate, people with prostate cancer have like a 90% survival rate. People with pancreatic cancer probably experience a lot more suffering all things considered…BUT THEYRE BOTH STILL CANCER

[@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794]

I don't get why she can objectively say "my son is a 3 out of 3" and yet not understand that means there are some people who are a 1 out of 3 or a 2 out of 3.

[@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794]

Also, WHO GETS SURGERY - an expensive and difficult procedure to get - on a whim, knowing they are not really "trans".

[@shaunagordon4104]

@@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794No one. It's made-up bullshit these transphobes use to demonize anyone advocating for trans-friendly health care for young people.

[@elettramia6380]

@@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794 😅plenty of children who are struggling with an identity crisis and are the victims of malpractice and gender indoctrination. Also insurance covers “gender affirming care” which is another problem. There are more and more increasing detransitioners, they are Not some made up fantasy. Choosing to pretend that something doesn’t exist does Not mean it doesn’t actually exist.

[@cakeskin3333]

@@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794amber and buck deserve each others company tbh. Like peas in a pod. Both of them seem to think “if your not constantly suffering then you’re not really autistic/trans”

[@tiegrsidesignsandstudio4794]

@@cakeskin3333 I don't think you actually read or understand what I wrote. I AM autistic and have ADHD and I am not constantly suffering, so I would never say anything like that. As for the trans part, I never said any of them have to be suffering either - I just stated that people don't elect to have painful, life altering surgeries on a whim.

[@kdjets]

All I hear is "My son is less special now. I had to suffer from his autism. THIS is autism." It's so weird

[@amw6846]

I hear a lot of "how dare we assert that autistic people might be able to communicate about their experiences and have opinions about the way we treat them."

[@shadamethyst1258]

That's actually an interesting take. "autism" comes from greek "autos", "the self", but to her a lot of it is about herself, her struggle, her stature, her perception of it. It makes sense that she could fall back to these answers, given that her son is NV, but come on. She works in the medical field. How many patients has she judged wrongly at work because of how misinformed she is?

[@alpacafish1269]

That last part you said, just shows how worrisome her perception is. Like, she's a medical professional and you think like THAT!?@@shadamethyst1258

[@thactotum]

I hear "I'm less special now, because my struggling with my childs rare condition isn't being seen as heroic work to stand against exceptional circumstances." and I don't think it's weird, so much as it's kinda gross.

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

​@thactotum she might be frustrated that some of us with autism can drive, have jobs, raise a family and do things she thinks are reserved for NT people while her son is level 3 and has high support needs. She may feel like it's unfair and like people online are not taking it so seriously (not the case). Actually, all autistic people are getting more advocacy because those of us with a voice are able to defend those who can't and bring attention to it. I've been personally able to help a family member with a barely verbal young autistic child understand concepts like overstimulation better.

[@alanguest1979]

I had a run-in with an “Autistic Mom” a couple of months back, who berated me for only being diagnosed for three years, whilst her son had been diagnosed for ten years, therefore she had more “knowledge” about autism than me! I didn’t have the heart to tell her I am 60yo and have been autistic all my life!

[@LilChuunosuke]

Did she think the autism magically manifested in your body in your 60s?? Absolutely wild! My heart hurts for people like you. I found out I was autistic at 23. I could not have imagined surviving nearly thrice that length of time without answers! But I am so glad you now have answers and access to a community of people like you. Screw those mommy warriors! We know way more than them.

[@lionessrampant26]

It's like she doesn't realize you were autistic BEFORE dx and just didn't know it. She thinks you became autistic when you got the dx lolol

[@mrspeabody615]

The thing that makes me mad about that is that she was NEVER autistic. She can only look at it from the outside. She might know a lot what doctors and other people tell her which can be true but can also be wrong. She will never know how it "is".

[@chong2389]

Too bad Mr. Rogers never made a segment explaining the word 'spectrum'. Cancer is cancer. Autism is autism. We self-diagnose to try to understand why we have behaviours that appear antisocial to others. Most of us are not faking it for attention, faking it to excuse certain behaviours, etc., etc.

[@aussiefurbymogwaifan6621]

​@@chong2389is that actual life person that the movie with Tom Hanks in it and he was the host of a kids show? Didn't know the actual person was autistic

[@robbiehasnobones]

"iM In tHE mEdiCaL FIeLd" "Im iN ThE MEdICaL fiELd" "iM iN THe meDiCaL FiELd" stop it lmao just bc you are in the medical field doesnt mean you know EVERYTHING

[@ivanajovanovic2337]

"iM In tHE mEdiCaL FIeLd" *proceeds to says contradictions instead of contraindications multiple times and describes stimming as seizures*

[@pupdawn]

I like that she doesent say what part of the medical field she is. If she was a doctor she’d say so. A physiotherapist or a nurses assistant are technically part of the medical field yet receive little or no training on autism. I’m a nurse in training; even we don’t get that much information on autism unless you’re going into the psychiatric field specifically. Hell even most doctors don’t know shit about autism. „I’m in the medical field“ hardly means anything in this instance.

[@robbiehasnobones]

@@pupdawn you summed up my thoughts perfectly. my doctor doesnt have a fucking clue abt autism

[@Catlily5]

​@@pupdawnIt doesn't seem like many mental health professionals know much about autism where I live.

[@citrinedreaming]

Technically pharmacy technicians are "in the medical field" sooooooo yeah. She did mention working in an ED which I take to mean an emergency department but for all we know she was the receptionist and medical filer; also, who seeks emergency medical services for an autism diagnosis? She's too much

[@NearsightedNarhwal]

Something id like to point out is a lot of the stereotypical autistic traits that this mother seems to deem as “real autism” are things that, for most autistic people, happen when they are UNHAPPY or overstimulated (Hitting people, hitting themself, being non verbal, ect)

[@leroyjenkins1249]

It's not just her, sadly: I had run-ins with a lot of NT "autism advocates" and they always boil it down to this. In their mind autism = bad. Kinda like cancer. The moment you try to emphasize something that is nice, or even normal they go OFF!

[@shaunagordon4104]

70-hour work weeks would make even grown NT adults miserable. That poor kid is *exhausted*.

[@martletkay]

Hmm, I wonder why she sees so much of it then....

[@lilysnape6520]

​@@shaunagordon4104 i would nearly bet that this Therapy is also Something like ABA where it's kind of forced on the child to behave in socially acceptable ways. Like not just masking but more.

[@llynxfyremusic]

I dont understand how "being a caregiver is hard and exhausting" and "autism is a spectrum with a broad range of potential support requirements" are two truths so hard to hold at once.

[@RH-dw6ie]

Autistic with a special interest in society here. From my understanding the autism mom suffered (subjectively) so much from her sons autism, that she developed a picture of herself that she now uses as a coping mechanism. Autism moms see themselves as heroic, because they are the caregivers. The same goes for her social circle with a mixture of pity. So it becomes their identity (not equal to gender identity,just to be clear). Without this world view they can not cope with what they had to give up or experience over time. If we had a better public support system (everywhere in the world), we probably wouldn't have to live with autism moms or at least a lot less of them. Because they would have a less horrible experience cause health care would help out.

[@jul.m.2692]

Also a lot of those mums are very likely to be undiagnosed and on the edge of burn out with very little support... they simply can't afford to reckon with their own distress.

[@ophilianecr]

Not just moms either, partners and spouses too! Im not autistic but i am diagnosed OCD and Major Depressive Disorder and i was with a partner for 13yrs who was AuDHD. It was absolutely difficult to have to find the emotional and mental strength to carry the emotional work and stress for two. Especially in the depths of depression and just being so overwhelmed, instead of getting support or acknowledging that i was struggling, I'd get told that I had to hurry and work through it because it made them uncomfortable. Now add to that having to hear promise after broken promise that he'd do more, get more help, seek new coping skills, or just learn to disengage in an argument or disagreement... and that's from an adult who had the ability to do so much to be autonomous and independent to a large extent!!! And trust me, there's some real truth to a growing number of people who have found the social gain of "being autistic" and using it to skirt accountability (like my ex). So Ofc it becomes a stress to be supportive and a patient caregiver. People REALLY like to overlook the reality that autism isn't the only mental health issue that matters or that someone can have. The caregiver or support system has their own issues that are just as important to acknowledge. Because a caregiver has a bigger set of responsibilities and has to take on so much more than just doing a couple of extra things.

[@jul.m.2692]

@@ophilianecr I'm going to be blunt it sounds like your problem has more to do with your ex, gender roles and expectations, and your own undiagnosed, possible autism and/or ADHD... I have been on both sides of this, we broke up. But just FYI ADHDers are not lazy, we don't choose to fuck up, and you should not be a carer for a grown man who isn't your child or father.

[@ophilianecr]

@@jul.m.2692 oh im aware that ADHD isn't stopping people from getting things done and having amazing lives. That's my point about "broken promises" and people who use their diagnosis as a pass for accountability. I've been in the support group scene long enough to KNOW that some people adopt the mentality of self victimized, and most are able to manage and thrive. Your missing my point big time if you refuse to acknowledge that a nonverbal or extra needs person isn't adding stress to the caregiver. Caregivers are also not exempt form having mental health issues and needing support. Caring and being supportive isn't easy and being vilified for saying it gets to you, just because you feel offended isn't OK. I mean you did it to me, just dismissed anything i went through! Fkn gross, man

[@robynpatterson1216]

how chronically online does this woman have to be to have this perception of self diagnosed autism being an "epidemic"? like all you have to do is go outside and talk to people and see that not all young people are suddenly autistic. me and my group of uni friends are all neurodivergent but in lectures the vast majority of people are either neurotypical or HEAVILY masking because it's not socially acceptable to be openly autistic, contrary to what this woman thinks

[@blvcktea2479]

!!!

[@marocat4749]

yeay crossove with transphobia, in the worst way. Its as much an epidemic as the "dance plague" and young people dancing to rochnroll, in the 60s. Which i mean, not. Its just healthy self expression. Ther are differences but at core its people having problems wwith people expressing themselves healthy , i guess. Also the dancing disease sounds funny. And it would be awful to forbid people, from dancing. As from talking about autism expression. Ok not a great comparison.

[@benjaminmerritt177]

She even explains how her son is discriminated against and doesn't see it.

[@sylvianimates]

this is so real omg, and with so many things like people who say men get hated on too much. if you go outside nobody cares that you're a man

[@robynpatterson1216]

the thing is, teenagers thinking they're gay, trans, autistic, have tourettes and whatever else, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. either they will grow up and realise they were wrong/doing it for attention (nothing wrong with that) or they were correct and got the jump on learning about who they are. teenagers go through phases to figure out who they are as a person and sometimes it takes abit of trial and error to figure it out. telling them they're invalid for that because of one person's limited life experience is so unbelievably stupid

[@pepolite4082]

Also that red haired lady.. shes just upset that her son IS autistic, so she gatekeeps. She probably thinks, "You cant take the name of autism when you dont have it has awful and terrible as me. Im the one suffering." And seriously, I dont deny she is, but my god lady. Thank you for being apart of the problem. Your hurt is hurting millions and millions of people and she doesnt care. She seriously only cares about herself in this case.

[@vixxcelacea2778]

Damaged people who don't recognize that they're damaged often damage others. Lack of support for her to be able to support her son's situation and needs causes resentment. You see this in a lot of areas beyond parents and caregiving. Just people who weren't given aid or a helping hand when they needed it. It breeds resentment and a "I suffered, so you will too." mentality. It's depressing and a wide spread social problem that's really really hard to get out of.

[@acetheenby1475]

@@vixxcelacea2778Exactly! And he has the same "It was hard for me, why should you have it easy?" Mentality about trans people. Like things should have to stay horrible forever. Isn't the whole point of advocating to make things easier for people in the future?

[@Man-wolf-]

The mere fact she implies that autism makes one ab*sive (saying “my son hits me-thats autism”) shows she views it as a curse as something disgusting

[@HauntakuTV]

My brother has a type of autism where he repeats things he finds funny,asks a lot of charged questions, and he also has to take medicine to keep calm. My mom doesn't upload videos of him being himself on the internet because his "unusual" behaviour is not something the internet gets to gawk at.

[@hunterv9259]

i'm confused how exactly she thinks she's going to "gatekeep" autism lol. like what exactly will she, a random person on the internet with zero authority on this matter, be gatekeeping these people from? is she gonna show up at these people's jobs and tell their bosses not to give them accommodations? call their therapists and force them to drop them as patients? show up to their houses and rip up all those sweet sweet gubment checks she for some reason believes all these self-diagnosed "children" are being showered with?

[@alexalynn5952]

The idea that autistic tiktokers are "stealing" her son's ABA therapy is so wildly off the mark that I'm wondering if everything she's saying is just repeating something she heard someone else say one time

[@Catlily5]

Plus saying her son's stimming is seizures. When she is in a medical field.

[@Marnee4191]

Why is a Mom who has a child with high support needs wasting her time on TikTok? If I had to guess, I'm guessing she's heard a few rumors and extrapolated this to come up with a general idea of "what's happening on TikTok". I'm in my 50s. I hate social media. I'm not on FB or TikTok. But I did spend a little stint on Reddit recently. If I believed what I read on Reddit about TikTok alone, I'd be 100% sure that there are millions of kids on TikTok faking autism to get attention from friends or convincing themselves they are trans to feel part of a martyred community. My guess is that's more where she's coming from. She's coming from a fake virtual reality.

[@whatausernamethisis8893]

Yeah, the claim that low support needs self diagnosed autistic adults are knocking out doors to get ABA therapy is fucking wild.

[@promisemochi]

one time an autism mom said something incorrect. i calmly and politely said something like "as autistic person, this is my experience" and she went off!! telling me to "know my place." i also stumbled upon a facebook group for autism. there was a post with so many likes and agreeing comments saying they wished they could "kick out" autistic adults from the group because "we don't know our place and speak over them." i've never seen anyone be so hateful to autistic people as autism mommies are.

[@frick3417]

When I was first diagnosed (a decade ago), Facebook groups were the first place I went to look for community and support. Big mistake! The Autism Moms were nearly everywhere talking over everyone. I did finally find a group or two with actually autistic admins who would kick people for that kind of rude behavior, and the support from those groups was a lifesaver.

[@camellia8625]

I don’t like that they refer to themselves as autism mums if they are not autistic themselves. It is as if they are trying to hijack the term to draw attention and sympathy to themselves

[@ebwarg]

I haven’t trusted autism moms since a few of them gave a positive review to “Music”…

[@Janimations1]

Got a similar experience. I work at a game store, and had to call a customer because their order got delayed because of re-stocking problems. The mom (Karen) went off with: "do you even know how difficult it is for people with autism to deal with change? You should be considerate of my son!" While he was telling her to calm down. I just shut her down with the fact i'm autistic myself and she shouldn't be stereotyping, and by hearing him in the background that he's more reasonable than herself. (I had contact with the son himself first through mail)😂

[@Fairygoblet]

​@Janimations1 how did she react to that one?

[@nyves104]

got to love the fact that they hate both "self diagnosis" and doctors. there's legit no winning with people like this

[@janelle_beans]

It's always the ones who hate self-diagnosing are self un-diagnosing people they don't even know for me!!!

[@tihana13]

I was looking for a comment on this. Yes! Exactly! How are you supposed to get properly diagnosed then if doctors are "practicing" medicine and you don't know anything on your own?!

[@sabinethegaydragongeek]

Yup! What do they want at this point?! 🤯

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

They just don't want autistic people period. A lot of these people who hate "self diagnosis" don't take the economic class disparity into account, those in impoverished households have less access to the traditional diagnostic process or a therapist at all. And a lot of those households tend to also be people of colour or freshly-landed immigrants so it's more sinister than at surface level

[@loviebeest]

it's also very suspicious she keeps saying she is in the medical field while not specifying what exactly.

[@happysquirrel]

Deep sigh of autistic trans exhaustion. Yesterday I was non verbal for hours, completely forgot to eat or drink until like 7pm, and had a meltdown where I repeatedly hit myself in the head. Today, she would tell me I'm not autistic because I dressed myself, made a cup of tea and am ordering groceries. Not every second of our lives has to be us at our worst, autistic (and trans) people shouldn't have to be suffering to count. I want more autistic and trans joy in the world, not less.

[@thierryeubanks3586]

It's possible to be non-verbal only sometimes? I didn't know that! Thanks for the info! (this is not sarcasm)

[@roxyamused]

I also had a huge meltdown today and hit myself in the face a bunch. Luckily it was open handed, though I don't know if I ruptured my ear drum. Anyway, I don't have a lot of trans or autistic joy rn. Sorry. I guess I'm not suffering enough as an nb transfem to be trans or autistic enough.

[@strawbzzzombie]

You can be very verbal, verbal, partially verbal non verbal or selectively mute, although selective mutism can happen in NTs too and is a separate condition which is common with autism. @@thierryeubanks3586

[@calthegreatest]

​@@thierryeubanks3586yes, although I wouldn't call it nonverbal as it takes it away from people who are constantly nonverbal and there should be a distinction. People have adopted autistic muteness or other terms instead.

[@shaunagordon4104]

​@@thierryeubanks3586Yep. It's generally called "selective mutism," or something similar, and is often part of what happens during a meltdown or shutdown (an autistic shutdown is more or less a "quiet" meltdown), as well as things like general exhaustion and whatnot. For me, when I get to that point, verbal communication is the first thing to go. I can think the words (I can't not, because I think almost entirely in words), I can type the words, I can understand others just fine, but the part needed to make my mouth move and my throat to make the sounds just...stops working. It's kind of like when the power goes off and a building goes into "emergency power mode" from a generator or other auxiliary power source, and only certain things are powered. During those times, I need to stay alive and I need to function enough to get through or out of the situation and get somewhere safe to equalize, and my brain has determined that speaking is not critical for any of that.

[@Scars-and-roses]

As a trans man who is autistic, I was literally told I cannot be trans because “my autistic son doesn’t understand that stuff” Queer autistic people exist and deserve to be treated the same as neurotypical queer people

[@bethanygribble]

what has always bugged me about these "autism moms" is they see any independent autistic person as a "faker" or "self-diagnosed." i was diagnosed just before my 4th birthday. i wouldn't eat any foods because of the textures (my mum had to blend up my food), i stimmed a ton, i went to a SEN nursery for a year, and had a full-time assistant throughout primary school. looking at me back then, it was clear i was autistic. now i live independently in london (6 hours away from my mum's house) at 19 years old, doing chores, exploring new places, completing assignments on time. i have some support needs in place from my uni, but i don't really use a single one. people are shocked when i tell them i'm autistic, because i masked a ton as a teenager and no longer present my autistic behaviours. mums like her have made me have thoughts like "maybe i'm not autistic anymore." but i am. autism doesn't heal or cure. it's here with me for life. i was once "too weird" for being authentically autistic, now i'm "faking it" for masking my autism. i can't win. she's just annoyed that autistic people can live independently, and she's threatened by that independence. just because i can look after myself doesn't mean my existence is diminishing your full-time efforts to care for your own son. we just have different support needs, exactly as the diagnostic criteria describes.

[@promisemochi]

they don't understand we have years of living with this. autistic me at 30 isn't like autistic me at 5, nor is like their autistic son at five. i've heard that from someone, that i can't have autism as a 30 yr old adult woman because they have a five year old autistic son and i don't act like him so clearly i'm faking

[@wintergray1221]

@@promisemochi Right? I would hope that person doesn't act the same at 30 as they did at 5, too, but having worked with the public before, sadly that's not always 100% the case.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I was almost completely nonverbal until around age 12! I rarely spoke unless I was forced to do so. It took an immense amount of strain to connect my brain and my mouth for around 20 years. I presented very similarly to all these "horror stories" that autism mommy warriors love to tell to make autistic people sound scary. Now I'm basically fully independent. There are a few things I cannot do on my own, but I don't have access to the services i need because caretakers like her gatekeep them from people like myself who look "normal" after decades of trauma and hard work. My need for care does not diminish her son's needs and I hate how blind she is to that.

[@pentestvegan]

agreed 100% not only that but she is by definition not a good person

[@clicheguevara5282]

I didn't even get diagnosed until age 38. If I _had_ been diagnosed as a kid, I likely wouldn't be suffering from crippling C-PTSD. I'm not nonverbal but my life isn't easy either. My issues are still valid. I absolutely _despise_ these moms because there's literally no excuse for their ignorance. How TF can you have a "severely autistic" child but not know how the spectrum works? It's ridiculous. Us ASD 1 autistic people aren't trying to take anything away from the ASD 2/3 group. Honestly, the biggest problem with these moms is Tik Tok. They keep complaining about dumb stuff they see on Tik Tok. ..so get off Tik Tok, then! It's a toxic wasteland of an app. Of COURSE it's got toxic stuff on it. Delete the damn app. Don't take it out on us!

[@Sinister6scorpion]

She needs to be able to see the nuance in the situation. Autism is quite literally, asd autism spectrum disorder. No two autistic people are the same, and even she has the understanding that her child is a level three. She herself also isnt autistic so the fact that shes openly admitting to gatekeeping in the community is wild.

[@Coolguysup]

What good would she even bring by gatekeeping it? It can only bring hard, but I guess it comes from a very selfish place.

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

Yup, I doubt this lady has ever seen any other autistic people other than her son or people on the same level as him.

[@rainbowfranklin]

I want to know how trans people gatekeep being trans? Anyone who feels trans can be trans?

[@bluedaisies709]

@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 she probably has, but she wouldn't see them as autistic even if they waved their diagnostic report in front of her face. she seems to be one of those people who won't believe anything she herself hasn't experienced. it scares me that she works in the medical field, a field where empathy is kinda very important.

[@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193]

@@bluedaisies709 You have a fair point. In a way, though, I can see their point about their frustration with everything having the same name. I found the original video and was reading some of the comments from people who have very high support needs autistic people in their lives. This one autistic person was arguing back with a lady whose best friend's son is autistic. The thing is, though, that both people were describing two wildly different experiences, but they were both called autism.

[@Pir4te47]

Amber: "GOD, everyone just needs to be so goshdarn special these days! Gotta be special to fit in!" Also Amber: "Anyway, here's some more about how the suffering of my Autistic Child and the burden it places on me makes me special."

[@Zeru64_]

All I heard was "i hate how everyone wants to be special, my son is the only one allowed to be so 😡"

[@michaelpineiro533]

"he hits us, that's autism" Well, what are you doing to trigger him?

[@GeekGamer666]

ABA, she said it herself.

[@ragnakleinen2109]

Oh yes that too. What do you do to your son so he is hitting you? She told on herself. If it is not in public during a meltdown while you are trying to remove hin from the situation, there is no excuse

[@NearsightedNarhwal]

Yea, a lot of the stereotypical autistic traits that this woman seems to think is “what autism actually looks like” occur, for most autistic people from what I’ve heard, when they are UNHAPPY OR OVERSTIMULATED.

[@littlelady9801]

​@@GeekGamer666poor kid :(

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

@@GeekGamer666 jfc that's just corporal punishment disguised as developmental "therapy". Maybe it's just because of my unique intergenerational trauma but even though the founder behind ABA borrowed from the guy who introduced conversion therapy's book I see a lot of parallels between ABA and residential schools for indigenous Canadian children(which btw the last one closed down only in 1996 so not even that long ago!). If I was that kid I'd fight back too because it's obvious who's in the wrong here. They don't even use that type of disciplinary technique in behavioural training for dogs anymore(thank god) and most trainers worth their salt will use positive reinforcement and rewards as motivators for good behaviour

[@annataymond9529]

Asperger’s has always been considered part of autism, the reason it was separated to begin with was for eugenics purposes. Sorting autistic children into having worth or not. The reason the phrase stopped being used is because it was name after said eugenist.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Exactly! Even when I knew nothing about autism, I knew Asperger's was a 'type' of autism.

[@ladyalicent705]

Not just a eugenist, an actual NAZI SCIENTIST!

[@crptpyr]

Yeah them deadass naming the condition after the guy who determined which autistic kids were going to be sent to die or not was a bit insane of them (specifically one lady), even separate from the idea that trying to separate autistic people into 2 camps based on whether they think our prognosis will allow us to be functional members of society is pretty whack

[@psychohist]

I'm really not sure the neurotypical DSM 5 approach of "no, they're all sick and none of them can be functional members of society because they are too different" is actually superior.

[@Lycantis]

Indeed! I wouldn't want to have a label on my head with some guy's last name who openly euthanized the ones he deemed "unworthy". That's just horrible.

[@ChibiYotsuba]

I'm pro self-diagnosis. Having said that, I've been officially diagnosed Autistic 3 times over (went to 3 different psychiatries, and insurance insisted on a re-evaluation with each new psychiatry), confirmed high support needs with 24/7 care, and I'm open about that online. Autism Warrior Moms still keep insisting that I must be lying about that, and about being Autistic, simply because I'm able to write posts online, and have a broad vocabulary. So anyone struggling with their self-diagnosis because of these Autism Warrior Moms... If people like me are being fakeclaimed, there's just no winning, and it was never about protecting disabled people. These Autism Warrior Moms have their own issues, and it has always actually been about that, not about protecting disabled people. I have never been hurt by misdiagnosed people. I have DEFINITELY been hurt a lot by fakeclaimers. So feel free to explore your self-diagnosis if that makes your life better. You're not hurting the lives of people like me. In fact, you are helping in normalising Neurodivergency, making the world a better place for people like me. Keep going. You're doing great. ❤

[@demolitionc]

I actually have a question, though I understand you may not be able to help, since you have experience I think it's worth asking. I don't know if I have autism or not. A lot of the things I think and feel sort of seem too align with what is common in autistic girls my age, but I don't really remember anything of my life before age 12, especially not as a very young child, and that's when most of the diagnostic criteria is set. How would I know whether I am or I'm not?

[@demolitionc]

I actually have a question, though I understand you may not be able to help, since you have experience I think it's worth asking. I don't know if I have autism or not. A lot of the things I think and feel sort of seem too align with what is common in autistic girls my age, but I don't really remember anything of my life before age 12, especially not as a very young child, and that's when most of the diagnostic criteria is set. How would I know whether I am or I'm not?

[@ChibiYotsuba]

@@demolitionc I think that depends on why you don't have your memory of before 12. Is it because of trauma? If yes, you can work on your trauma in trauma therapy, and see if your Autism symptoms become more or less. If they become less, the symptoms were stemming from trauma and you're working on that. If they become more, healing and getting closer to your true self means becoming more Autistic. This is a big indicator you're very likely Autistic. Another route to take, is to see if there is anyone you trust who knows you from before age 12. You can ask this person about some symptoms, and if they noticed any of that before age 12. If, however, your memory before age 12 is gone because of something that can't be treated, and nobody you know and trust knows you before age 12, it gets harder. Are there any records of you before age 12? Report cards telling you to engage more socially, for example? A teacher-to-parent communication book? A letter from a friend or other close person with clues? A diary? If none of these are options, and it's all a dead-end-street, you could also stick to 'what do I need right now?' If living as if being Autistic, and implementing the same kind of supports, help you, then why not? In the end the most important thing is your well-being. If living as if being Autistic makes you feel better, then go for it. You're not taking away from anything or anyone by doing that. In fact, normalising supporting your mental health helps the overall acception in the world. So go for it. As a final note: The RAADS-R test has recently been scientifically proven to be equally as good as a screening tool as those that psychologists use. But the RAADS-R test is more equipped for high masking adults. So taking that test might help you with some insights as well.

[@sarahr8311]

​@@ChibiYotsubathis is a great answer, and one that I think gets to the heart of a lot of mental health diagnoses (self or otherwise). If living as if you have X, and using supports, coping strategies, etc as if you have X is helpful to you and not harming anyone else... ok. Go for it. Why not? If X is a good lens to understand your experience through, then go for it.

[@ChibiYotsuba]

@@sarahr8311 Yes, exactly! 💯

[@eiosti]

Autism moms need to stop conflating their childrens intellectual disability and behavior problems with their autism. Theyre correlated, but very much separate things. I love when they describe things like aphasia, apraxia, and violent behavior in response to consistent meltdowns and say "thats autism". It's literally.. not?? Consult a textbook, lady.

[@tealkerberus748]

This. I compare Autism to pregnancy a lot. Pregnancy isn't a disability, because some people who are pregnant are not disabled by it. Pregnancy is a health condition which has disabilities associated with it, it makes people more vulnerable to various types of harm, and it generally requires some level of social recognition and support. Likewise with Autism. Some people who are very definitely autistic can live their whole lives without experiencing any of the disabilities commonly associated with Autism. For many of us, the only truly disabling part is Allistic people's attitudes to us! But that doesn't take away from the people who are Autistic and do have disabilities that are typically associated with Autism. They're still disabled. They still require and deserve care and support for their particular needs. Also just like pregnancy, Autism is not a bad thing in itself, and we don't need anyone to eradicate it from the spectrum of human existence. We just need appropriate care and support for people who experience disabilities associated with it.

[@lilysnape6520]

​@@tealkerberus748oh I love that comparison. Or similar things that can change even for one Person themselves over time. Like a person with chronic migraines might understand a comparison to that too.

[@tealkerberus748]

@@lilysnape6520 waving in chronic migraine. Singular, because I've only ever had one migraine, but it hasn't left yet. Nah, it's definitely a disability, and if someone comes up with a cure or even a prevention I'll be cheering them on ... quietly, because loud noises are just one of the things my migraine is sensitive to.

[@lilysnape6520]

@@tealkerberus748 oh that's not exactly how I meant it. I wanted to say that people with chronic migraines have different needs to and not even every migraine for the same person is the same every time. Just as a ... Sort of comparison

[@magda_plays]

@eiosti , I completely agree. I think that is the part that is wrong in the DSMs. There should be 2 separate diagnosis given to children that have autism and intellectual disability, maybe then the moms would stop getting so worked up, that everything they see in their kid is autism. I understand that there is a strong correlation, but it’s not a reason to merge it merely under some extra qualifying criteria. I’d argue that the intellectual disability part should be the main diagnosis, because this is going to be much more difficult to deal with than just the autism.

[@lovelokest2]

I worked with mostly non-verbal level 3 autistic adults for over a decade, extreme and self-injurious stimming is 99% them going "something isn't right, I can't communicate why or what it is, but I need help to make it better." The job of any caretaker is to figure out what, why and how to help. I have clinically diagnosed ADHD and am self DX autistic.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

You sound like a wonderful person! 💛

[@C-SD]

When my husband worked at group homes, this info was part of their training as well. Unfortunately other staff would ignore things, so he would get brushed off. One guy wound up with a colostomy, but he made it only because my husband pushed and pushed for them to check it out. Nonverbal people still communicate.

[@michaelpineiro533]

There was a non verbal, level 3 resident at one of the group homes I worked. his charts said he couldn't wash or dress himself, and I wondered if that was true. After dinner, I asked if he wanted to take a shower and he enthusiastically said "yes!", which I thought odd for a non verbal person. He wnet to the bathroom, got in the shower, and turned it on, all on his own. I gave him some bodywash and asked if he would like to wash himself, he again said "yes!", and started lathering up. When he was done, I asked if he wanted to dress himself, which he again said "yes!" and dressed himself in swimntrunks and a tank top that was too small for him. So I laid out appropriate clothes for him every morning, and he dressed himself with no problems. Turns out, he could do just about everything by himself, but no one asked politely if he wanted to do it himself, so he wouldn't do anything.

[@derbaeckerhatnichtauf]

​​@@michaelpineiro533 That's such an interesting story. I hope the situation changed permanently for him (after you left) and he is more encouraged to do the things that he's capable of on his own ^-^

[@aussiefurbymogwaifan6621]

​@C-SD and that is why non speaking is the preferred term because they still have a voice! Neuro cluastic has an article on their website about this

[@katfoster845]

They have a narrow view of autism that's very stereotypical and very male. Even when autism in women is obvious, we tend to get missed. I am definitely autistic. I had few friends, was the fussiest eater on the planet, had intense special interests, couldn't sit still and had few social skills. I wasn't diagnosed as a kid.

[@j.b.4340]

There isn’t a difference between male/female autism. It’s a misconception.

[@skachor]

I'd just like to clarify, their "view of autism being male" is referring to male presentations of autism?

[@katfoster845]

@@skachor yeah, autistic boys and men tend to present differently to autistic girls. Autistic women tend to be higher masking and have fewer visible autistic traits.

[@katfoster845]

@@j.b.4340 there absolutely are differences. They're not universal, but autistic girls do tend to present differently to autistic boys.

[@Argeaux2]

There is a huge difference in the ways that male autistic people are assessed, compared with how female autistic people are. This is my other problem with self diagnosis. A lot of the online tests are based on how autism has been assessed for boys. Females can also tend to mask, more than males. I am a classic example. I was only assessed as autistic last year, and I am 56 years old. Classic case of people Not understanding how to spot autism in females, and me learning how to mask, and follow learned social prompts, at a very young age.

[@RandysaurusRex]

My brother, who was autistic, required full-time support. Seeing how he stimmed (especially his tendency to hit himself during meltdowns), the way he repeatedly watched the same few videos for hours at a time, his echolalia I'd accidentally catch onto and join in on...recognizing how much I related to him was the last push I needed to look into getting tested for autism. Can't help but think parents like Amber would say I'm making a mockery of my brother, who I loved and cared for and laughed with, because I dared to recognize the struggles I share with him.

[@tealkerberus748]

Autism is known to be 80% - 90% genetic.

[@spiritsafe-ko4ee]

Buck Angel: you can't trust yourself to know if you're autistic or trans! Buck Angel in the same damn interview: you can't trust doctors to know what they're doing! Everyone: if we can't determine it ourselves and we can't trust doctors, who gets to determine if someone is trans, autistic, etc Buck Angel: ME

[@spiritsafe-ko4ee]

What a sad miserable man who's chosen to spend the autumn of his life angry at young people for not being as miserable as he is because it's easier than trying to heal his pain or go after the people and systems that caused his suffering. Literal schoolyard bully vibes.

[@teddyjlockwood]

Well clearly he knows so much about both so /sarcasm

[@hi-ls6lt]

It’s giving Sue Sylvester glee vibes but a lot less humorous

[@LilChuunosuke]

I think the part that annoys me most about these autism moms is that they think if you don't literally drop dead within a few weeks of not recieving accomodations, then you must be faking your autism. Meanwhile, we technically dont have a true and accurate idea of what autism looks like because finding an untraumatized autist is like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. And I think a very sad but important reality we need to accept is that some autistics *can* be forced to some extent into presenting as less autistic through systemic violence. I am a level 2 autistic who lives completely independently. People like her and my doctors don't think that's even possible. If you saw me as a kid, you would DEFINITELY think I would need to live with a caretaker for the rest of my life. But I experienced such a high degree of violence as a child, that the way my autism presents itself literally *shifted* as a defense mechanism to increase my chances of survival. I have had strokes as young as age 15 from the strain being put on my body from parents who believed my autism could be cured through "tough love." I did not survive all of that pain and trauma just for neurotypical caretakers to silence me and tell me I have it less hard than her son because I haven't died yet. Trying to force neurotypicality has put me through strokes, paralysis spells, fainting spells, multiple mental health crises, homelessness, extreme poverty, burnout, eating disorders, etc. If I was faking it, then trying to force myself to be "normal" would not be that dangerous. Just because I was forced to mask through violence and trauma, that does not mean I do not require support and care.

[@Lycantis]

I can live comfortably in the wild. I can hunt, forage, make shelters, craft clothing, all from what is around me (even though I hate clothing--bothers my skin). In a concrete jungle? I feel exposed, weakened, vulnerable, and anxious. I can read the signals of animals just fine. I cannot read humans worth diddly and most of the time they say something but mean the exact opposite, compounding my confusion. I prefer blunt honesty, which is why small children are just delightful. The fact that a lot of adults I run into just lie like crazy but can't tell they are doing it is baffling, and very stressful. I also react horribly to these things you speak of, but my mother was so gentle and caring. My unfortunate past is when I was put into Applied Behavioral Analysis. They literally psychologically torture autistics in an attempt to "cure" them. This kind of treatment was deemed as unethical and labeled as torture when it was called Conversion Therapy and tortured gays into not being gay (or masking that they were and feeling they were so pathetic that they did not belong). This is what neurodivergents have to live through, and it is crushing. It's made worse when autism moms come by and "akshually" their way over everyone else and dominate the scene. They aren't even autistics. They have zero right to tell us we can't have some level of independence, nor the right to say we can't have coherent thoughts. Best wishes to you in your journey. I stopped masking. I got tired of the physical trauma it was causing me. Surprisingly, a lot of people latched onto that and love how I am, and the people who vehemently oppose it? They can suck on lemons. Their ire will never reach me again. I will always be me.

[@NinoPega]

you are very strong that you went through it. I hope your life is all stable and that you have nice routine to follow (if you like routines) :3

[@Catlily5]

I am level 2 but I need some help. I am on disability and have 7 hours a week of caregiving. I also have a case manager. I live in my own apartment and handle my own finances. I don't think getting physically abused makes you more independent. I am sorry that you had to go through that.

[@nobodyanon]

​@@Lycantis wait they actually can't tell that they're lying???

[@LilChuunosuke]

@Catlily5 it's the same system that makes ABA "work." The child is repeatedly exposed to a sensory sensitivity for hours, weeks, months, etc. Their body's natural response is punished. They cannot escape the torture until they learn how to bury the pain, think clearly enough through it, and give the correct, expected neurotypical response. Imagine that, but the child gets hit and screamed at when they fail. This could go on for as long as 16 hours per day. There were no breaks, no baby steps, no care or concern, my meltdowns were stopped with beatings, etc. As I started being able to *think* through the overstimulation because I was so accustomed to it, I started figuring out how I was expected to behave so I could protect myself from punishment and beatings. Obviously this isn't going to work on every kid and I don't want caretakers hitting and torturing their kids so that they can have reduced sensory sensitivities like me, but we have evidence through ABA that if you torture a child with sensory overwhelm enough, some begin to go numb to the pain. Definitely not all and I'm lucky to have even survived it, but I still strongly believe I am able to function at my current level because I spent my childhood in horrific agony. I appreciate your sympathy.

[@ashleigharnold7069]

What’s so sad is she’s clearly hurting not knowing how to support her son but projects that pain onto others and ends up writing off and attacking what could be a huge source of support and opportunity to learn about her son through a connection to a neurodivergent community

[@chramoso]

this. thanks for putting it into words. there is such a big and understandable grief and helplessness there, and i can't help but feel for it. i feel similar grief and helplessness - also thanks to being failed by systems and lacking some needed support - even tho i'm almost exactly what they're attacking. if only they could stop being pick-mes and harming communities - we could support each other and fight the actual problems together. urgh.

[@LastHomesteadOnTheLeft]

Ya, these parents have had to fight so damn hard. It is sad that they are being groomed to lash out instead of build solidarity with folks who can help make change. They could be less alone, but we just need to advocate for all disabled people and hopefully change will come. ❤

[@thevillagegay]

I am trans and autistic, and I just wanted to let you know that I love how respectful you are, and how much research you do. It's always so wonderful watching your videos even if they're discussing topics that may be frustrating

[@naomiparsons462]

"His diagnosis took 11 hours" My self-diagnosis took months of constant website/DSM-5 reading for 5+ HOURS EVERY day, KZbin binging (every video on this channel, Paige Layle's and many others), googling questions extensively and twisting my brain and memory A LOT. Of course it is not tit-for-tat, it doesn't matter who took longer to get diagnosed, but just to say: any diagnosis is brutal. It is the hardest thing I've been through in my entire life. It's been 8 months since I self-diagnosed and I just got a CCN assessment (only the first step in autism assessment) which I am infinitely SO grateful for. The point is, nobody has any right to disregard anybody else's diagnosis - even if they are somewhat mistaken.

[@antant6217]

I'm not autistic but I have cerebral palsy, and people used to call me a "cripple" and mock me all the time for being different. I don't know why people think that being disabled in any way is "hip" when people mock and use diagnoses as slurs. They're just creating a fake narrative that really undermines the struggles of those with any kind of disability. Not everyone goes through the process of discovery at the same time or the same way. i've had many people call me a liar because I don't post pics of myself online.

[@gyounce1]

Two reasons why people pretend to have some disorders or otherwise: One is that these individuals oftentimes lack a personality and are hoping to seem "interesting", which is a load; the second reason is that many people want to alleviate responsibility for their behavior or actions, like, "I can't help it! I have ASD!" when doing rude acts or saying something offensive, as if those of us on the spectrum lack complete self awareness or just are incapable of being considerate of other people.

[@justsomenobody889]

Munchausen syndrome exists, so clearly there are at least **some** people out there who will sacrifice a great deal to appear disabled. Probably not a large % of cases overall but I would bet money it's a higher percentage on social media since that is where all the desperate histrionics congregate...

[@zoey2421]

@@justsomenobody889 can we please not use they term "histrionics" like it's some kind of curse. you're talking about people with debilitating mental illnesses.

[@zekova]

​@@justsomenobody889 this comment was talking about people using diagnoses as slurs and you walk right in using a diagnosis as a slur. Dude, people with hpd are people too, not to say you should put up with abuse from them, but still...

[@mythcat1273]

It's just like when homophobes and transphobes say that teenagers are becoming gay, trans, etc. because it's a "trend" or that it's cool to be lgbt. Why would anyone want to be part of the lgbt community just to be popular or to get clout when there are tons of laws that literally take away our rights and harm us and when there are people who wish death upon us and people like us, who could possibly be living among us(!!!) in our own homes???

[@natalia-grace9314]

The fact that she's so upset about Asperger's was officially combined into Autism and thinks that it never should have been is so frustrating. I was professionally diagnosed when I was 10 years old, but I do not have an official diagnosis because I was "too low functioning to have Asperger's, but too high functioning to have classic Autism". I literally do not have an official diagnosis because my doctor couldn't decide which one to give me because they're so similar.

[@Catlily5]

That makes no sense. That seems like a copout on your doctor's part.

[@tipsybottles]

That’s how my brother was my mom says that the dr. Told her my bro has “autistic tendencies “, but not enough to say he’s autistic. But if you’d met my brother, it’s very obvious he’d be considered maybe a level 2.

[@donovangray4246]

It was extremely difficult to even try to "stim" in school, because in the 1970"s it was considered disrupting the class. I was sent to the principal in school multiple times for tapping my feet or flapping my arms. I never got diagnosed because I don't have a learning disability, instead I have Hyperlexia which made me appear to others as if I was smarter than my peers and so they all thought that the other symptoms of autism was my acting out. We know more about the disorder now and it wasn't like that 30+ yrs ago.

[@NieroshaiTheSable]

Hell, not just then. Got in trouble for stimming all through the '90s and '00s. Only people who ever believed I was autistic was my school counselor though, having a level 3 sister with premature birth complications didn't help via comparison

[@anothermiddleschoolburnout8816]

I remember watching an old medical film and it's actually kinda shocking how much of this was known by specialists. How behaviors perceived as disruptive were often uncontrollable and can be a symptom of nurodiversity. The problem is that the average teacher didn't know these things.

[@sashawernz]

Im left handed and autistic, my great grama was the same, but never was never diagnosed and refused to learn how to read and write, my mom just discovered that her gramma was left handed when she started to do more things with her left hand when she saw i was allowed to, when she saw i was NEVER beaten like she was just for doing things with my left hand, we just started to realize that she was also autistic when i started to unmask and my gramma said that my great gramma did the same things and was sometimes punnished for it, so she made sure to never do it in front of my mom or me, to not let us think this was a 'normal' thing to do or accepteble

[@hyperplaguerat]

I just wanna know what accolades you get for claiming to be autistic. Does she mean bullied????

[@bbugeaterr]

As a trans teenager who is professionally diagnosed with autism and has been since I was 8 (I am 14), I hope others realize not everything with autism is all horrible. It affects our life, yes, but it IS a spectrum. The “silly autism” thing isn’t a problem to me, it’s the people who infantilize it, demonize it and/or use it as a crutch

[@noeldoesstuff]

Hey its a fellow autistic trans teen. I feel u ❤

[@d.h.4778]

What do you personally mean by “use it as a crutch”? No hate or anger behind my question at all. I am also an autistic trans adult so I am just curious what you mean.

[@bbugeaterr]

@@d.h.4778like use it to excuse rudeness or bad behavior such as being an incel or perv

[@bbugeaterr]

@@d.h.4778or people not taking accountability for their actions and saying “nah it’s because I’m autistic lol”

[@CommanderDarcy]

​​@@bbugeaterr frog, same, like I understand people saying rude stuff without noticing, I do that too!! But apologizing for hurting someone else's feelings and taking notes to be better next time is free and something good people do (I'm a trans autistic, not officially diagnosed YET, adult)

[@reneeletchford4186]

That makes me so unbelievably mad. "Choosing to have autism" says the man wearing the "Buck" hat. Nobody in their right mind would "choose" to be autistic. Whether you're level 1, 2 or 3... Your own spikey profile signals to the neurotypicals that you're "other" and the suffering you endure purely for existing is literally impossible to endure. You're "too smart" to be autistic. You're "too normal" to be autistic. I'm masking to keep myself safe from ostracism, abuse and worse. And imagine being one of the people who can't mask. I can't imagine how unpleasant their experiences of this world must be.

[@reneeletchford4186]

For context, I'm level 2 support needs, but very high masking. Also I'm horrified that the mother wants to put her poor child through ABA... Hasn't he suffered enough? "Locked in a closet for 20 minutes by a teacher".

[@eshbena]

@@reneeletchford4186 I just looked up ABA and I am horrified. ABA is essentially what my mother and all my teachers did to me throughout my life. "Conform to my commands and behave normally or get punished." It's essentially teaching masking. I hate it.

[@thediscodevil0949]

I can’t mask, and yes, it’s horrible. It’s so bad that I had repeated meltdowns over the course of about two months once. I was 16.

[@karenholmes6565]

I don't know if I would choose it, but I wouldn't unchoose it. I like myself and I can't separate the autism from who I am. It is infused with the entirety of my being,

[@reneeletchford4186]

​@@o340 Incredibly succinct, and mirrors my thoughts; I am simply unable to express them when I get so riled up 😅 It's absolutely society. Autistic people are some of the kindest, most creative and just lovely people. There's nothing "wrong" with me if I'm not exposed to things that are triggering for me. I imagine others are the same.

[@WhichDoctor1]

I have a friend who was such high needs with autism as a teenager that they were actually put into a private care institution by their parents because their parents couldn’t cope with them. That turned out to be a very bad place for any vulnerable person to be and eventually they were taken back out again. And since then they found online autistic communities, were able to learn soo much about how autism works and how to manage thier triggers and such that now they live independently, have a job, can socialise in accepting spaces. This was all things they had to learn from other autistic people because the doctors and psychologists who were in charge of their care all her life never even knew about. Right now they are the kind of person who this mom would probably consider to be faking it, but before they learned from the online community this mom hates soo much they were on a level of disability similar to this moms son. I wander if this woman’s son would have an easier time coping with life if he had access to the same knowledge base built up in the online autistic community his mom despises soo much instead of being stuck with just neurotypical medical professionals as the only authority

[@finnning]

It's very frustrating to have struggled for decades, and every new person you meet find you obviously awkward and very few stay to become friends because of it, and you've known your entire life there's something "wrong" with you, but then someone tells you that one thing that fits perfectly and can explain all your issues is "not for you" because you don't have it bad enough

[@tealkerberus748]

You are who you are, and disgruntled gatekeepers can't take that away from you. Also if the strategies the neurodivergent community online discuss to manage things that we find difficult, are things that you try out and they help you with things you find difficult, then even without a formal diagnosis there's no law against using those strategies.

[@anthapersephone7311]

“We’re also allowed to not hate ourselves all the time” !!!! SAY IT LOUDER FOR EVERYONE AT THE BACK

[@annataymond9529]

“That is autism” hit me so hard. I hate that. And if she only counts diagnosed people I was diagnosed when I was 12. “That” ISNT autism. That is one particular personal reaction that her child has to an aspect of autism that he hasn’t learned how else to cope with. I never hit anyone. And yet I’m sure I’m what she would consider “severely” autistic due to the fact that as an adult I need a caretaker, can’t drive, have poor perception of time and space, freeze up and can’t speak whenever I become stressed, can only complete one or maybe two chores a day without experiencing sensory overload. This is why the term severe just doesn’t work. I have above average intelligence, can carry a conversation, deliver public speeches, contain my emotions within myself, all things that one would assume mean I can’t be THAT autistic. And yet, I need a live in caretaker and struggle to brush my teeth.

[@ctobolsk]

My 15 year old son was just diagnosed last year with autism with low support needs, but he also has trouble with brushing his teeth. Is there something that helps you with that? Do you just need a reminder, or is there something else that helps you?

[@loveeevee396]

@@ctobolsk Hi! Trouble with brushing teeth might be a sensory issue. It might be the type of toothbrush or the flavor of toothpaste. Most toothpaste has a very harsh mint flavor that can be overwhelming. Some people hate how harsh or loud electric toothbrushes are or prefer them over manual toothbrushes for needing less effort to use. Try asking your son if there's something that bothers him about brushing his teeth and work from there

[@ctobolsk]

@@loveeevee396 thanks! I will talk to him when he’s here this weekend. I just have to be gentle, I don’t want to embarrass him

[@derbaeckerhatnichtauf]

Thanks for sharing! To the uninformed (and/or allistic) mind your autistic characteristics might seem contradictory but you explained so well how they are actually not. I truly believe: the spectrum is a circle, not a line🫶🏻

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

@@ctobolsk adding onto the other reply it could also be underlying hypermobile or neuropathic issues. Flavourless toothpaste helped with sensory issues like taste and texture but I also have problems with sensitive nerves in my mouth, I bleed easily especially from my gums which makes me want to avoid it more, and I have chronic lock jaw so it makes it even more painful and difficult. Other than the toothpaste Id also think a water flosser would help, it's like the ones used in dentists clinics but made for public household use. Talk to your kid definitely but also maybe talk to a doctor about any pain or sensitivity and look further into that? I'm autistic but I also struggle with ehlers danlos syndrome lupus and multiple sclerosis so they just kind of feed off each other and I wanted to share what it's like for me

[@The_Salinator]

I think it's funny how they're like "oooh ppl are self-diagnosing with autism even if they don't have it" and then they just armchair diagnose most surgeons as narcissists

[@cedarmoss7173]

Me coming out as queer because it was trending despite fearing I may be kicked out by my parents and years later self diagnosing myself with ADHD and autism because it’s trending despite autistics being socially stigmatized and shamed. I’m just that committed to the bit Edit: Speaking to the trans thing from experience and knowing the stats, barely anyone detransitions! And most that do only do it because of the environment around them, NOT because they discovered they weren’t trans! Plus hare crime in the US towards trans people has been on the rise. A non-binary kid less than two weeks ago died because they were beaten so badly in their school bathroom. Every trans person is brave to express themself openly, every trans person is brave for transitioning, being trans has never been trendy.

[@JenIsHungry]

Detrasitioners are very much a real population and they are routinely gaslit and harassed by their ex-community. Most of the detrasitioners are lesbian women who receive death and rape threats on the reg, frequently by trans people. Why y'all want to discredit them is beyond me.

[@cronchyblond]

@@JenIsHungryas someone who’s lgbtq+ I’ve never seen/heard of people being harassed for de transitioning/gen I am 80% sure that a large majority of trans people don’t attack those that de transition-

[@teddyjlockwood]

​@@JenIsHungrydetransitioners are a real population. Of course they are. There are always people who regret things. The point is that the regret rate is so low that it's crazy to talk about taking away the rights of the entire community. Trans people make up about 1% of the population, and detransitioners make up 1% of that. For reference, knee surgery has around a 30% regret rate. And most people who detransition do it because of the stigma and later go on to transition again later in life, which means the regret rate is less 1%. As someone who knows what it's like to live in a body that doesn't match my brain, i know the pain it brings. I feel awful for the people who transition only to discover that that wasn't right either. Before top surgery, i couldn't wrap my head around why anyone would want boobs. Now that my body better aligns with who i am, i can finally understand how other people can experience that same feeling however their body is, whether trans or not. The main issue I've seen is when detransitioners take that experience of transitioning not being correct for them and then use it as a reason why no one should be allowed to transition. And that's just plain transphobia, and yeah, they might be harassed over that because that's how the Internet is -- but it's not because they detransitioned, it's because they're being transphobic and actively trying to take away the rights of an already marginalized community. Edit: to be entirely clear, I do not mean that all detransitioners are transphobic. That was not the point of my comment. My point was that some may experience hate, *not* because they detransitioned, but because they're being transphobic.

[@Catlily5]

​@teddyjlockwood Not all detransitioners are anti trans. I saw videos by two who explained that they were not anti trans they made a personal mistake.

[@I_Dont_Believe_In_Salad]

​@@cronchyblond Here's the thing honey: Your precious Community will not talk about that kind of stuff, but when it come to "this person is tranphobic" they'll flying all over it like files founded poop

[@jmvanzalinge5023]

The thing I find the most annoying is they can't even argue consistently. They bring up that she is a medical professional so much, as if that automatically makes their word truth, and then bring down other medical professionals, saying they are psychopaths and can't be trusted. 🧐

[@JBabyLeather]

Thank you! I was like, am I the only one who noticed this?

[@ayerhead07]

25:50 I actually saw a reel the other day of a girl who was recently diagnosed with mosaic Downs and doesn't have the typical facial features, but does have many of the other correlated health problems. Sure enough, her comments were full of people accusing her of faking and/or taking attention away from people with "real" Downs. So frustrating that people can't just accept that there are so many valid ways to exist in the world, and it doesn't take away from anyone else.

[@aussiefurbymogwaifan6621]

And it doesn't help that nearly all people with ds have abled people still speaking for them

[@Randompersonnumber3]

You know what Tiktok did for me for my (now) diagnosed autism? It showed me aspects of autism (and ADHD) that I realized related to me to the point that I went out and sought a diagnosis and turns out I was! It honestly explained so much of how my brain works even if I didn't realize I was neurodivergent until I was in my 30s.

[@PurpleRhymesWithOrange]

I am in one of the most liberal states in the US. I wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was in my 40s. That was circa 2006 and I did get the label of aspergers at the time. Even though I had been in and out of therapy for 25 years without a proper diagnosis. I did self diagnose with a test I found online. I then took the test to my therapist who's response was, "how did we miss that?". I then got a referral to a psychiatrist who confirmed the aspergers diagnosis. I knew I was transgender as a child but I was not able to start medical transitioning until I was in my mid 50s. The minimum was that I had to have been in therapy discussing why I felt I was transgender for more than a year. At that point I was able to get the hormones and other medications. I then had to be on the hormones for over a year and have an evaluation by another independent mental health professional before any of the doctors would even talk to me about surgery. Now with the medical referral and the letters from two mental health professionals I can finally begin the screening process to determine if I will be able to get surgery. If all that clears then I will be able to get on a waiting list and hopefully get surgery after about a year's wait. Long and short, no one in the US is getting gender surgery without going through a process that takes 2-3 years minimum.

[@Catlily5]

I have been in the mental health system since age 15. I think that they missed the autism because they were looking at all the symptoms through a mental health lens. I got diagnosed with autism at age 47.

[@stripey7303]

It's bizarre that Angel, whose transition was made possible by doctors and surgeons, is now saying they're all psychopaths. A dear surgeon friend who died recently was one of the sweetest people I've ever known.

[@Missingno_Miner]

That's just how transphobic trans people are. They're almost certainly fully aware of their hypocrisy, but believe that transphobes will accept and make an exception for them if they insist they're "one of the good ones", so to speak.

[@sabinethegaydragongeek]

He got top surgery, he got T, but somehow he also condemns bottom surgery and in fact, posted a bunch of trans men’s bottom surgeries and called them “disgusting”. What a hypocrite indeed! 🤮

[@sabinethegaydragongeek]

Also, all surgeons are psychopaths? Oh, like I didn’t need that adenoid, oral surgery twice, implant, wisdom teeth and toenail surgery? Like how so many people don’t need brain and heart surgeries, among many others! Wtf?! 🤬 They are lifesavers dude.

[@perisceris3699]

@@sabinethegaydragongeek Every time I think I couldn't hate that man more, I find mORE reasons. As someone named Angel, he does NOT deserve that name!

[@S3lkie-Gutz]

Talk about biting the hand that feeds, he wouldn't be able to transition like he wanted without the "narcissistic" "crazy" surgeons specialized in that field

[@TheSunnyOne]

(Commenting only a few minutes in to this, so I apologise if you cover any of this) As an autistic trans woman, people like Buck and this woman properly infuriate me. Buck has spent the past 20+ years trying to convince everybody that being trans is a miserable thing to be and that he's very hard done by, it comes as absolutely no surprise that the "autism is only a miserable thing" people are happy to latch on to his brand. Bigots in general just really seem to want to define their lives by misery, and get very upset that there are people that experience life differently from them. Thank you for doing this video 💝🏳️‍⚧️

[@teddyjlockwood]

This is the first time I've heard about Buck and GOD I HATE HIM. How transphobic can a trans person be??? I'm a trans man myself and oh my god what the hell man??? Calling himself transexual and a female who lives as a male are literally the most transphobic ways to say that that he's a trans man! And who is he to say that trans people now days are just faking and will detransition soon! The numbers don't lie: gender affirming surgery has a 1% regret rate; knee surgery is around 30%. If one percent of the one percent regret, why the hell is that a reason to stop giving it to people???? Because they might be faking it even though they literally got a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, the treatment of which is transitioning. I am SO MAD

[@Ranquni]

It’s actually so sad to see trans people attacking their own community. Buck, Blaire, “Female living as a male”, “I see trans women as a category of men not women” like what was the point of your transition if you’re not accepting the transition?

[@callsignapollo_]

I think blaire just saw the money in being a token and embraced the grift, you can see in some of her vids from a few years ago where she's clearly not in agreement with the hate some of her guests are spewing. Buck on the other hand, feels like he is suffering from the mindset of "i suffered, so for your voice to matter you must suffer the same as i did" mentality. He cant accept that queer culture has moved beyond the 1980s, and it also feels like he thinks he has to tear himself down and loudly proclaim "i'm one of the good ones, i dont believe all the silly kid stuff" in order to be accepted by his peers. Every time buck speaks it feels like he wants us to lose 40 years of progress, and gatekeeps what being queer is to be *his exact lived experience* or its not valid, and thats a big part of why ppl dislike him.

[@augustlorcan7986]

let's not forget that buck angel is also a raging transmisogynist

[@karnagekarnival5127]

My mom used to say "back in my day kids werent autistic" but then back in her day they had a neighbor and they all used to say her son "esta loquito" aka "he's special" (in spanish the phrase literally means "hes a little crazy" but in context it can be like mildly meanspirited but also sympathetic in a way? Its complicated lmao trust me) She's changed her mind lately, and realizes people just didint get that diagnosis before because it was less understood but that stat of 1 in 34 just reminded me 😂

[@amethyst0ne]

Currently dealing with this just add : any mental illness , cancer , people doing drugs Apparently none of these things happened 40 years ago 👍😂😮‍💨 All this in Despite knowing of great grandparents and grandparents that committed suicide … exhausting , i am exhausted

[@marionettilapsi1]

A fun fact from trans person, who needs surgeries and all that (and is in two of those waiting lines) - the reason why the lines are long is not due to "too many teens are pretending to be trans". Teens cannot get hormones or surgeries before they are 18. Waiting lines are long everywhere because there is more of us these days since we wont be killed off, or shamed to a hole - and there is VERY FEW places to get help. Clinics are rare and far apart. And the Pandemic, which is still ongoing, has caused huge issues - many nurses and doctors died, many left because of how they were/are treated/and for PTSD thanks to seeing so many people dying. In my diagnosis path they had only one doctor, PART TIME, in the clinic because they just don't have doctors left to work here. Important surgeries were pulled back due to covid19, and anything that wasn't/isn't seen as "life threatening" were pulled back. It created a line that stretches and stretches - and now that places are open, they try to play catch up with less staff, and still prioritizing those surgeries seen as life saving, and not "optional". Plus many countries don't allow surgery clinics to send off patients to private practices, or to other hospitals to be treated to unload the lines that are long everywhere. Or if they are allowed, many surgeons refuse to send us off to be treated, due to having issues against us, or not wanting to lose money from the surgeries. Not as simple as tiktok teens figuring out they are trans. Just overwhelmed medical systems everywhere, some transphobia and not prioritizing our health since they don't think dysphoria is life threatening (it is, it really is, oh god it is...). For my fellow trans people waiting -don't give up. Stay healthy. Survive to piss 'em off.

[@NieroshaiTheSable]

Hormones? Depending on location it's possible past 16 but parents aren't kept out of the loop. Surgeries? Vanishingly few. But absolutely, most trans care for minors is therapy and social transition, with blockers after a threshold.

[@raydgreenwald7788]

Coming back from a day with my autistic friends, while I myself is autistic. It’s crazy how different we all are. One guy is completely socially blind but can be in a loud store no prob, another woman is very chipper and friendly but tires easily and can’t be in a noisy shop, another friend who can hang out for hours but can’t be in a sit-down restaurant, and then there’s me who has natural charisma but could probably go 10 years and not notice I never talked to anyone. Crazy how that works

[@ZaeBean]

A teacher suggested to my parents that I get assessed on two separate occasions when I was younger. Once when I was around 7 and another when I was 13. But being from the cultural background we’re from, my parents didn’t get me assessed. They didn’t believe in autism, unless it looked like a learning disability. It took me a long time to accept my own little self-diagnosis of autism and I was lucky enough to get assessed and officially diagnosed months before I started my Masters degree. I got accommodations for the first time and it was life-changing. When I finally told my mom my diagnosis, she told me about those two teachers that suggested I get assessed. I can’t imagine how different my time in school could have been if I’d been able to get accommodations earlier. It sucks. If this mom had it her way, I’d never have gotten diagnosed because to her lvl 1 autism isn’t real autism. Just like my parents thought initially too.

[@Chrishelmuth1978]

"It's terrible that someone 'less deserving' gets treatment/care/support before someone 'more deserving' and takes that care away" Why does care need to be zero sum?

[@Catlily5]

I don't know but usually the most severe get treated first anyways.

[@NieroshaiTheSable]

tbh it's less that there's lacking resources and more that resources are being withheld. Insurances not covering diagnosis and transition? Class-based barrier to entry. States are banning and restricting trans care, political barrier to entry. Culture is encouraging violence against doctors, and Florida even put a bounty on advocates, social barrier to entry. Buck's right that it's hard to get gender confirmation assistance, but he's wrong about why and he's literally part of the problem.

[@Catlily5]

@@dinahn6955 I wasn't talking about therapy. As far as home healthcare, occupational therapy, psychiatry and other stuff goes you will get helped first if you have higher support needs. I think that you are right about therapy though. They don't think that therapy will even work if you are severe. I am medium functioning and I have therapists but I have heard of them turning some people away.

[@Capella-fq9ul]

As a Non-binary youth (aged 13-17 for privacy reasons) hearing Buck Angel de-credit my identity made me literally have to pause this video, take a few breaths and a quick cry. It just hurts when someone has no idea what goes through your head, when someone that isnt part of the community (not necessarily talking about Buck on this point) tries to tell you how your feeling and what you are. No one can read people's minds, so you have no idea what they are going through even if you have gone through something similar because at the end of the day everyone is different.

[@JasmineSmith-vt2jc]

Omg the “I struggled so everybody else has to struggle”

[@grampsandi]

I really like how she doesn't try to put down this mother, especially when she was crying about what her son had to go through. Clearly, even if her views are misguided, she still cares a lot for her son. I'm glad this person sympathizes and validates this mother and her son's struggles, because I think it's important for a more productive conversation.

[@jessd8161]

'I'm a medical professional' made me roll me eyes so hard. being a medical professional doesn't qualify you to diagnose autism. you could be the top brain surgeon in the world but that doesn't automatically make you an expert in who is and isn't autistic. also i dont understand how this woman could be mad about removing the word/diagnosis of aspergers from the dsm despite the fact that the person it's named after would've literally m*rdered her son... personally i'm glad his name is out of the dsm... not to mention the fact that it being a spectrum recognises that everyone, including her son, has different support needs. her son would still be recognised as high support needs. supporting others too doesn't take away from his struggles. wouldn't be surprised if in her mind her son is the only autistic person in the world 🙄🫠

[@anniekitten3758]

I have a bit of a nuanced view on this. I think some teenagers are not necessarily faking autism or whatever other disorder, but are trying to make sense of their mental health on their own. They might have something going on, and they feel that something is "wrong" and want to know what that is already. Maybe they don't have the resources to get a therapist and they relate to some symproms they see online, and it gives them hope that they're not "freaks", that there are others like them out there, a community. I went through that growing up, being undiagnosed autistic (now diagnosed) I didn't know what's wrong with me. I felt kinship with ppl who had DiD, because of the intense dissociating I did to mask, but didnt relate to anything else in the diagnosis, and still I slowly slipped into that world. It was a short period of time until I realized it was not true for me, but still, I saw it happen. I don't think it's hard to imagine someone with anxiety ticks or stims that come out violently because you've been suppressing them to think they might have turrets

[@dazeslays]

i agree. most kids claiming to have mental disorders probably _do_ have something going on, just maybe not the thing they think. in that way sometimes self diagnosis can be a problem, because different conditions need to be managed in different ways. DID is a good example of a condition you want to be 10000% sure about before you start structuring your life around it, because believing you have DID when you actually don't can do some weird stuff to your brain (sadly it's hard to get a diagnosis in many circumstances so i understand that some people have to self-diagnose, it just has to be a really really REALLY well-informed decision). that being said, autism is a pretty low-risk self diagnosis, because you basically just start accommodating for your sensory or behavioral needs. if it later turns out you're not autistic, chances are the coping and self-regulation skills you may have picked up from your time in the autistic community will probably still help you, or at the very least won't hurt you

[@Catlily5]

​@@dazeslays I was misdiagnosed with Dissociative Disorder NOS. It was terrifying thinking that I might have personalities that could get me locked up in prison or pregnant.

[@CraftyVegan]

Even level 3 has a lot of differences. My toddler is a level 3, but a lot of the severity of it is because their PDA is so rough sometimes that they meltdown into a puddle from a simple “Would you please hand me [thing]?” Add to that the extreme sensory issues… like not liking clothing… where they’ll strip down to naked in full public if they’re having other overstimulation issues. Plus they’re behind in speech. They’re not non-speaking, but they prefer vocal stims and strict scripting to spontaneous spoken language. Also a lot of stimmies ^_^ And then I’m level 2 where I have some fairly high support needs, but I can’t keep a job or be in the grocery store for long or go very long without stimming. My special interests have been cooking and fibercrafts though, so my self stimulatory behavior can be focused into the repetition of crocheting, knitting, and sewing, and the repetition of chopping veggies and prepping food to cook. I used to call it my “zen time” until I found out that pretty much anything repetitive can be stimming as long as it either gets your brain going or lets you calm down. We have mommy baby stimmy time where we’ll play in water together or play in kinetic sand together or play with fairy lights together. It’s really fun and hopefully it’s shows my kids that it’s ok, and even good to stim.

[@booboones3093]

That was so sweet to read ❤😊

[@Autumn1988]

The description she gave of her son sounded more weighed towards the intellectual disability aspect of his needs than the autism diagnosis

[@amazinggrapes3045]

That seems to be the case with a lot of "you're not really autistic because you can talk and don't just bang your head against the wall all day and you go to the bathroom" type autism moms

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

Ha! - "Autism Moms": Let me tell you a story about an autism mom I encountered in a supermarket check-out line a decade before my diagnosis. Grocery shopping has always been a hellish ordeal for me. The fluorescent lights. The strangers pushing carts aimlessly, unpredictably blocking the aisles. Trying to make eye contact with me. The cacophony of dissonant sounds from refrigeration equipment, people talking on phones. Children screaming or crying or begging for ice-cream or some other poisonous treat or toy. The riot of colors and fonts and letters and numbers begging for attention from the shelves. The smells - OMG the odor of blood and entrails and fish and vegetables. The extreme temperature variation between sections. The PA system barking "CLEANUP ON AISLE #5" at random intervals. The beeping of checkout stand scanners. It's pure autistic hell - ...and I didn't know I was autistic. All I knew is that "panic attacks" often struck in these socio-sensory hell-holes, and that all I wanted to do was grab my gallons of whole milk and stacks of frozen entre's and get the hell OUT as fast as possible. But first, I had to endure THE LINE. The awful purgatory of THE LINE. The last place the ghoulish marketing fiends had a chance to sell me terrible gossip magazines and toxic sugary snacks while the zombies in front of me made small talk with the cashier, or argued about prices, searched for discount coupons, or tried to return a head lettuce they'd dropped on the way to their Volvo. And one day there was an Autism Mom holding up the line. I was right behind her. She was the last zombie between me and peace and quiet of motorcycle as I purchased the evening's frozen pizza. ...and she started yammering about her autistic kid to the cashier. Detailing how much "better" he was after she'd subjected him to what I then thought of as coercive regime of punishments and rewards that amounted to child abuse. I now know she was proudly describing ABA therapy. Bragging about how much better behaved her poor boy was at home and school. She glowed as she basked in the sympathy and admiration of the cashier and all within earshot of her cruel self centered speech about how she'd cured her son's autism through her hard work at suppressing his individuality and independent thoughts in favor of obedience and conformity. No more embarrassment for her! ...and suddenly, I had the urge to grab her by throat, slap her hard across the face, and scream "STOP IT YOU B***H!!!" I didn't know why. I felt terrified. Of myself. Of this seemingly pointless rage at someone I didn't even know. Who wasn't even talking to me. Over her treatment of a child who wasn't present. So I just stood there waiting. Silently. Full of rage and terror and shame and confusion. I was having an internal meltdown, but I didn't know it. Because I was autistic too. I'll never forgot that "Autism Mom"

[@lizf1353]

It's insane to me that she just straight up LIES and said that her child can't get into ABA therapy because children without diagnoses are taking up all the space. This is FALSE no insurance company would pay for ABA without a diagnosis and/or referral. Self pay for ABA therapy is outside the reach of the vast majority of parents in the USA.

[@WishGender]

maybe she can't get into ABA because people are starting to actually believe it's child abuse

[@voicingsomeopinions7006]

I'm in the medical field as we're apparently saying now and work with autistic kids though not as an ABA therapist. The reason there are such long waiting lists is that providers are overworked and underpaid so there is a ton of turnover.

[@Alumirust]

I know this is really small, but as a trans person, thank you for the way you spoke about Buck. I was wincing preparing myself for the inevitable cis person explanation of "he is a trans man", so hearing "He's an older guy in his early 60s who is controversial within the trans community" was... a huge relief? The phrasing makes me feel normal. Again, it's a really small thing and not what this video is really about, but thank you!! I saw this and it mattered to me.

[@d.h.4778]

He doesn’t understand he’s helping sink the ship. Doesn’t matter if you’re a “good” trans, if we go down, we all go down together. We will win this political war, I promise you, we just have to be louder about our education than they are about their misinformation. ❤

[@blueroseknight]

I came to make a comment about this myself, but I didn't know how she referenced him in the video. I wanted to see if someone else had pointed it out before I started talking.

[@dragonabsurda]

​@@Yoshimitsu293You might not realize it, but you don't know the personal experiences of every person online.

[@marocat4749]

What i get he is so bad lana wacholski did portrait a villain, the traitor from matrix, after him. Also he cant stop label himself the loooong outdated term is, telling.

[@d.h.4778]

@@Yoshimitsu293 just like there is no right way to be autistic, there is no right way to be trans. I hope you have the chance to listen to other trans people than transmedicalists someday and get better. Have a day.

[@Tecorsuh]

The whole "I work in the medical field" thing irks me. If her experience in the medical field was relevant to the discussion, she would be more explicit about her experience. She might say, "My time as a Psych Nurse", "When I worked in Pediatrics", or something similar. Since she says "medical field", that is normally indicative she doesn't have a patient facing role, or her role isn't relevant in the discussion. It's so difficult to listen to those two talking. They just keep spewing a "no true Scotsman fallacy" back and forth about their respective groups. "People who don't meet my experience/expectations for can't be a part of ." It's especially hard to hear them say that because self realization is the first step to getting help. If you dismiss everyone who doesn't meet your very strict criteria as faking, then people who are struggling with the condition might not get the help they need. They are both also promoting negative and/or harmful stereotypes about their respective groups. Especially with his comments about the detransition rate. The way he talks about, 14 year-olds are getting their breasts or penis cut off, and regretting it by the time they're 16 or 18. There is no study which will completely back that up, and those that slightly do are not used in modern literature of the topic.((As a side note, the studies that are no longer used, often cited any gender nonconformity as being transgender, or had other similar methods. Persons in those studies who later "detransitioned" never transitioned, as we define it now, in the first place)) In actuality, the regret rate of gender affirming surgery is under 1%, it has the lowest regret rate of any elective surgery. Those who did regret the affirming surgery often cited lack of social support as the reason. When looking at our current treatment methods for transitioning, the first step is often social transition with puberty blockers if it is age appropriate. If the person still insists they are trans after a period of a couple of years have passed, they are often required to get the opinion of a secondary provider, only then do they get permission for hrt medication. This is typically only at age of 14-16. Gender affirming surgery is not on the table until the person reaches the age of 18. There may be exceptions for outlying circumstances, but this timeline works as a general rule. This is an idealized timeline that doesn't consider long wait times. I wouldn't be surprised if he makes the argument that children are too immature to know they are trans, adults can't be trans because they didn't know as a child, and those who claim both were groomed. I know that he identifies as transsexual, but from the way he talks about transgender people reminds me a lot about people who make those sort of arguments. I mean, ffs, he said that people are faking being trans for attention. Why would somebody do that? In the US, many conservative lawmakers are trying to make it illegal to be trans. Trans people are being bullied or beat to death in schools, being harassed in public, and there are even cis people getting caught in the crossfire because they don't fit gender stereotypes. There is no positive attention outside of safe spaces and inclusive communities. There is so much stigma to endure while being trans, there is nothing good that can come from faking it. People who detransition often do so because the social/societal support isn't there for them. I've seen a video on the "surgeons are psychopaths" study. The way these two represent that study is disgusting. The study basically reached the conclusion that many people who have high risk or high pressure jobs or hobbies often have a trait shared with "psychopaths" which is "calm under pressure." The list of jobs and hobbies that typically attract people with those traits is very long, and includes people like, astronauts, sky divers, lawyers, doctors, and etc. Also, their misuse of "Practice Medicine" is troubling. Look up the etymology of practice. Its roots in Old English, Old French, Old Latin, and Old Greek, all have some meaning similar to ‘perform, carry out’. In modern usage, as a Noun it means to put theory into actual usage(e.g. Scientific Practice), the carrying out or exercise of a profession (e.g. Medical Practice or Legal Practice) or an expected way of doing thing (e.g. Religious Practice). As a verb it means to carry out regularly to acquire or maintain proficiency in a skill. The way they use the word practice as if it means the person has no proficiency in the skill they are practicing is just disingenuous. You wouldn't tell a pro football player that you don't trust them to play football because they practice it. It's a load of nonsense.

[@Infinity_Art_11]

One thing that rlly winds me up is when people post trivial videos about the less impactful or debilitating parts of autism such as special interests, they’re just being quirky and trying to be different and ruining it for real autistic people. However, when people post the bad days, the meltdowns, the stuff that’s genuinely impacting their well-being people question the validity bc they’ve ‘taken the time to set up a camera so they’re obviously not that distressed’ or they’re just trying to gain sympathy points. Feels like there’s no ‘right way’ to do autism’ in their eyes and it’s genuinely frustrating when I just wanna find a safe community with people who understand.

[@steveluxecable3817]

Honestly, I feel like this “autism mom” is in pain. However, I think that with the gate keeping that she’s done, as well as her willingness to ignore other people’s experiences, and painting her own experience with her child as the only “real and true” type of autism, she’s actively invalidating the experiences of thousands of other autistic people. I think what’s going on here is vulnerable narcissism. She’s actively getting attention and sympathy from other people for how much of a horrible affliction her child is on her life. This isn’t about her child, this is about HER, and her unwillingness to accept the experiences of the broader autistic community, as well. She’s already “figured everything out” and there’s no swaying her. This is narcissism presenting in a vulnerable narcissism type of way.

[@alexiacerwinskipierce8114]

I have 3 autistic children, with 3 different levels of support needs. They are each unique and require different kinds of support. Really makes me wonder if her anger towards autistic people with lower support needs is coming from a place of pain and envy. I understand that pain, to watch other people's children do things that your own child can't. I suppose her seeing other autistic people with lower support needs is upsetting. It's only natural to feel that way. But clearly she lacks the self-awareness to understand what she is feeling and why. Her projecting those feelings in a hateful, and downright harmful way is beyond ignorant. I truly feel bad for this woman. I hope her views on this change. I hope she will be fortunate enough to spend more time with other autistic adults and children. And I hope she finds a way to work through the pain she is feeling.

[@scriptorpaulina]

I flap my hands still at 28, as a college professor who works at NASA, and I have echocolia. It’s not always people with high support needs. I mean, I can’t live alone, but I can drive, teach, got my PhD and two masters, and such. I think it’s more of that irregular growth thing Edit: also I /do/ hurt myself with some stims, I used to elope, and I lock myself in rooms sometimes. It’s not something anyone should be gatekeeping.

[@Anonymous-54545]

Flapper here too, I run a business, have a master's in math, and am in a healthy relationship of 15y.

[@chunkykit1]

30 hours of therapy,poor child must be exhausted 😢

[@sophitiaofhyrule]

Buck Angel being terrible? No way! 😱🤯 /s

[@NeurodivergentMom]

I’m self-diagnosed and my son is in the process of getting official diagnosis. If I didn’t advocate for him NOW as self diagnosing him and as an autistic mother, he would not be getting the support and accommodation at school that he is already getting. Without the 18 month wait for his first appointment to diagnose this. 😢😮 ugh F whatever moms like this say…. My autism is real. 😡 It takes courage to do a reaction video like this against onesided and unaccepting people. Thanks for having the guts to do it. And for putting in all the effort into this video. 💪

[@over50gamer]

"I work in the medical field" Um, lady, that tells us exactly jack shit about your qualifications. I work in the medical field too... as a pharmacy tech. Does that make me qualified to question someone's medical or mental health issues?? ... didn't think so.

[@samara.morgan]

Exactly, she even misused one of the words, she's sooo medical.

[@derbaeckerhatnichtauf]

I wanna share this: I'm 17, I was diagnosed with autism at 13. Many times I find myself questioning the diagnosis and invalidating my own experience. That is because my autistic features have always been a huge invisible struggle. I've only had one meltdown, I rarely have shutdowns, I don't always stim and I actually have quite a few very good friends and no obvious social issues. The thing is: I'm suicidal. And I have been suicidal on and off for the last 4-5 years. The things that I do that someone could use to state that I'd be allistic are the same things that cost me so much energy that I regularly am completely burnt out from school and family time. I am not okay. This mom⬆️ cannot invalidate my experience. As Morgan, another autistic influencer, once said: Low support needs doesn't mean no support needs.

[@rongourmand]

"My son's diagnosis took 11 hours" mine took 9 years and 7 misdiagnoses because of a yummy mix of trauma and learned masking 😂 I have developed an additional 2 comorbidities in the meantime as well as being on my 3rd year of burnout currently because one of my last doctors refused to take me seriously, mocking me and discouraging me from getting help. tell me about it

[@anthapersephone7311]

Learning not to get upset by other people’s struggles just because you struggle. Step one empathy

[@Leena79]

I've struggled to write down how this video made me feel, for an hour now. I've started to write, removed my text, and started again. I'm not nonverbal, but when I'm experiencing a conflict, I get stuck, and can't find the words to express myself. But I really want to say what I think. I was diagnosed at 42. It didn't make me a cool kid. I didn't suddenly become popular. In fact, in real life, only few people know about my diagnosis, because I know most would not understand. I think it's immensly sad that a mother of an autistic kid doesn't understand. I hope she will some day. The reason we've come to understand that autism is a spectrum is, because some autistic kids grow up to autistic adults and find the words to say what their own experience with autism is. That when we react with violence to a parent trying to comfort us by hugging, we do it, because their touch in that moment is just another sensory thing to increase our stress. I've never hit my parents, but as a kid, my reaction to stressful situations was always to go to my room and sit in front of the door, so no-one could get in. Sometimes, I threw things. And I did hurt myself because it physical pain was easier to understand and deal with than what I felt inside. Instead of fearing that those with less visible autistic traits are here to take attention away from those who struggle more, as a community, we can help eachother. For me, getting diagnosed was life-altering, because it helped me stop hating myself. Finding other people with similar experiences online has helped me find tools to live a more fulfilling life and to find ways to cope despite certain challenges. I get lonely a lot of times, but knowing I'm not the only person in the world who feels like an alien, helps me feel less alone.

[@DaughterofDawn]

My ‘ability’ to suppress and hide my autism is the very thing that lead me to develop an E.D in my late teens which ruined my academic pursuits, social relationships and nearly cost me my life. If that’s considered a ‘blessing’ then I certainly have a very skewed perspective on life it seems. That ability to hide my autism came with detrimental side effects which I am still working on trying to amend. My autism diagnosis at 24 was life-changing, and without it, I wouldn’t have the retrospective empathy for myself in those dark times that I do now. I’m certainly not alone in this experience. What a sad interview. Thanks for covering this ❤

[@theyxaj]

People like this make me glad I had the resources to get a diagnosis just because I think I would really start to doubt (as if I wouldn't have been already). But for the people who know they're autistic and can't get diagnosed and want to know "for sure", I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

[@thatcasualdragon2975]

when I was a teenager/20-something (38 now) my mom worked with mostly autistic kids (some had other things, and obviously some had autism plus other things going on) and she would regularly talk about them (I would help out in the classroom sometimes when I wasn't in school so I knew the kids) and almost always the story would start with her saying "You're not autistic." because she knew that it was something I did too. Now, 20ish years later, I'm self-diagnosed (and actually trying to get a professional dx) because there's been a lot more research, especially into girls/women with Autism. I was actually really surprised she didn't push back when I talked about it to her recently. In the 10+ years working in that classroom, I don't think they ever had more than like 3 girls. Not at the same time, period. So yeah, it's the same with being queer or left-handed (both of which I also am). If you look at charts of the number of people who are left-handed historically, once it was no longer considered evil and people stopped beating left-handedness out of children, suddenly there was this massive spike of lefties and then eventually it plateaued. It's going to be the same with anything else. Better understanding does lead to a spike but eventually it's going to plateau.

[@wintergray1221]

I wish my grandma had gotten the memo about left-handedness. She was never violent, but it only took a few times of beratement and having my spoon taken away for me to get the message. I'm double-handed now, write and throw with my right but do most other things with my left.

[@anthapersephone7311]

I love the images I get of left handed people creeping out of all sorts of wooden objects and nooks and crannies. Keep using the example xD

[@lolly_golightly]

It’s so hard to hold empathy for people when their frustration and resentment under pressure is offloaded as hatefulness and abuse towards less-defended members of a community already struggling in a society that doesn’t seem to want us to exist. It really hurts that people who hurt us have hijacked the labels/identifiers that have eluded many of us our whole lives and are, ironically, devaluing them with their traumatised poison energy like we somehow participated in their pain. I feel like I’m not holding a hand out anymore to people who leave no space or kindness for people like me and my tween/teen children. I wish she had less pain, but it’s not acceptable to lean into abuse as a coping mechanism.

[@taurus_says_hi8404]

The mother is giving off the vibe of "Because my son struggles more and differently than you with the same condition, you're not allowed to live a peaceful life". She's giving off all sorts of bad vibes

[@hackshackers3513]

i think i'm autistic and i want to get a diagnosis but my parents can't seem to comprehend the idea of desiring the knowledge without getting some sort of measurable benefit from said knowledge 😐 I JUST WANT TO KNOW 💔💔💔

[@shannonking8298]

Her son is in 30hrs of therapy (probably ABA) plus 40hrs of school. This child is probably exhausted and that's why he's so distressed.

[@DellenoftheDell]

The need for autism moms to make themselves the focal point of their child’s autism and their lived experience is really sickening. “This person is nothing like my son, and they have not suffered the way I have taking care of him. They can’t possibly be autistic.” It’s so ugly and self centered. It’s like some of these folks are incapable of understanding that people will have different experiences than them. Autism is a SPECTRUM DISORDER. Like, obviously we are going to be very different from each other!!! Also this narrative that people receive “accolades” for “pretending” to be autistic is so ridiculous as well, because the only acceptance we receive is from the minority of other autistic people and other minorities. The majority of society is not accepting. The majority of society doubts our experience, tells us that we are lying or faking, tells us that we need to accept that the world will not treat us well. This mother is clearly struggling with the lack of acceptance that her son faces, but e is also literally PARTICIPATING in the oppression of other autistic people. She cannot use those experiences of struggle as a reason to silence other autistic people who present differently than her son. You drew some attention to the fact that most of the advocates we see online are women (which is important, because women are underdiagnosed), but the constant references to the people they believe are faking as “kids” honestly reads as misogynistic to me. Like, not that there aren’t teens seeking diagnosis, but most of the people I see online who seeking diagnoses that didn’t receive them are very much adults who are AFAB. It reads as infantilizing, as if these people cannot know themselves and their experiences. Towards the end of the video, Buck emphasizes that the “same thing” is happening for trans people, and now trans people have long wait times. This is not the result of “fake trans people taking resources.” This is not even slightly true given the research, but this is a problem with the MEDICAL SYSTEM, not individual people! Outside of that, seeing Buck masquerade as someone who genuinely cares for other trans people is really upsetting. He is not an advocate for other trans people. HE seems to think that to be trans means to suffer. As a nonbinary person, with many queer friends, he does not speak for me and he is not an advocate for me. He spends far more time putting trans people down and calling folks “fake” because they don’t experience transness the same way he has. He is not someone who leads his actions by compassion, but rather by fear. He is in no place to discuss how “fake trans people” as harming “real trans people” (obviously no one can objectively know) because he doesn’t even spend his time advocating. He is a bully in the trans community and the only people who use him as a source are people who already don’t think we deserve rights.

[@missoats8731]

So, to sum up what we learned in the past weeks: People on TikTok fake autism to seem special AND people on TikTok fake autism to *not* seem special AND calling someone autistic on TikTok can be used as a slur. I feel like there's some contradictions between these positions, but not sure.

[@sophitiaofhyrule]

Buck is kinda like Joe Rogan. He listens to his guest go on an unhinged nonsensical rant and he'll just nod along and agree

[@mellowthm566]

Buck Angel is not controversial because he uses transexual as a label. He's a transmedicaslist, explicitly anti non-binary, outed one of the washowski sisters in a national news after she married his ex wife (retaliation against a ex's new partner and outing us considered DV). He also allies himself with gender criticals and has said pretty antagonist statements against trans women. On a really random note he sold sex toys that caused a reported number of UTIs from trans masc customers... which isn't haha funny but weird it happened. Also since gender criticald/TERFs have a history of ableism this tracks right on the dotted line. K hoping off the PSA back to ableism at 4

[@SilverAceOfSpades]

I'm explicitly anti Buck Angel so the feeling's mutual.😊

[@mellowthm566]

@@SilverAceOfSpades I still remember the embarrassing trans men fight back letter he got a handful of transmen in Canada to sign "denannoucing" trans women/femmes. Imagine being trans and stading alongside Zucker and Blanchard 🤢. like my dude you really don't want fascists to pick you 🙄

[@NieroshaiTheSable]

TERFs are weird because they're trans-exclusionary radicals, but feminism only ever comes out of their mouths when used as a cudgel against us. They'll side _with_ the patriarchy and even full-on 14 Words neo-Nazis. They don't want to get rid of the oppressors' whips, they just want a fair turn holding them.

[@leegordon6694]

Incredible video Meg, amazing quality as usual. The "you are stealing resources from people who need it" narrative is so hurtful and stops or slows down so many people from accepting themselves fully. I'm always very impressed at how compassionate and measured you are when discussing views like this. I would not have been able to get through the video without a swear word or two 😂

[@4ngiel0ver]

"I would describe it as a seizure" Oh boy...that made my blood boil...there are so many different kinds of epilepsy and seizures and its pretty damn obvious when one is happening unless its an absence seizure or something similar where its fairly subtle, I seriously doubt that she would watch her kid have a seizure and just think they are stimming, it also downplays how serious seizures are, Not counting the fact that the person having the seizure can hurt themselves or others if they were to start seizing in a crowded area or while bathing, theres also a thing called "sudden epileptic death" where every time someone has a seizure there is a chance they can suddenly die, i went through something similar I was having a sleepover at my cousins and had a seizure, and after it my aunt just cleaned me up and sent me back to sleep, she didnt even call my mother I dont even think she told her till she came to pick me up, youre supposed to wait for a few minutes just in case another seizure comes up, I have no idea what would have happened if I had died that night...and its scary to think about

[@hithere7080]

Not defending her, but there are a lot of kinds of seizures that arent so obviously seizures, myoclonic seizures especially, being so short could definitely be mistaken as stimming

[@SaltyMouse10]

My youngest is autistic and has epilepsy. His seizures look absolutely nothing like his stimming..... honestly this just sounds like an attempt to get more meds, but that could just be me overthinking.

[@venuskogane5466]

I honestly hate autism mums. Makes me think of how my mum cried and said ‘I miss the mask’ when I got diagnosed; I don’t even unmask that much around them.

[@gRm444]

RANT BELOW: 27:40 this part really gets me because it reminds me a lot of a conversation i had with a friend in a sorority talking about hazing. basically she was complaining to me about people being loud really early in the morning as part of a hazing tradition. so, when i asked her about why they haven’t stopped it she was like “oh it’s just kind of a thing. i honestly can’t wait to be a senior so i can do that too!” which??? i don’t get the mentality that if you/someone you love had to suffer that other people should suffer as well??? it’s weird to put people down for doing the leg work to understand themselves when really you should be asking why the system makes it so hard to access things that you see as “more valid” forms of your experience

[@seroquelchamber]

i have experienced medical professionals who have questioned my diagnosis off the bat until given proof and have cited self diagnosis or tik tok as the source of why they "question" everything. this is a medical field issue. a doctor should be able to do their job without bias. but they dont, ever. not in america. there is no fair treatment here. i have gotten to the point where its so exhausting to see the doctor for this reason that i have neglected my physical chronic issues because i dont want to cry at the doctor if they happen to wiggle their eyebrows at me. i was a kid when i was diagnosed and medically neglected. i dont have the ability to whip out papers. the fact that she has an autistic child and is more wary of other autistic people than the medical industry which treats us like garbage, her child included, is terrifying. she needs therapy.