Autistic People are STILL Being Mocked Online

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Autistic People are STILL Being Mocked Online
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💛WATCH NEXT💛:
Does TikTok Think You're Autistic? | 4 Bizarre Autism Tests:
• Does TikTok Think You'...
Autistic Influencer BULLIED off Social Media:
• Autistic Influencer BU...
📹 My Videos mentioned 📹:
Not Stimming is MORE dangerous than you think...:
• Not Stimming is MORE d...
📒 Sources 📒:
Fake Disorder Cringe: / fakedisordercringe
TikTok Rap: www.tiktok.com/@hell0kittyglo...
TikTok Rap by other person: www.tiktok.com/@dykotomy/vide...
BPS Article: www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/a...
Stimming National Autistic Society: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Wikipedia page Stimming: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stimming
LUSH: www.lush.com/uk/en?gad_source...
Stimming vs Tics: www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-oc...
Why do some autistic people stim?: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
DSM-5: www.tricare-west.com/content/...
Not A Mental Illness: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
Number of Undiagnosed Autistic People: www.thelancet.com/journals/la...
Autism Identity and the Lost Generation: www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10...
Development and Validation of a Novel Self-Report Measure of Monotropism in Autistic and Non-Autistic People: The Monotropism Questionnaire: osf.io/ft73y/
“It feels like holding back something you need to say”: Autistic and Non-Autistic Adults accounts of sensory experiences and stimming: www.sciencedirect.com/science...
00:00 The most Ableist place?
00:30 You have BPD, actually.
05:05 You don't understand stimming is, sir
12:00 Self-diagnosis is pushing back mental health care?
19:53 RUN away from this Dr
20:27 When self-diagnosis is NOT valid
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism 📖 :
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
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DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Get an exclusive @Surfshark Holiday deal! Enter promo code NOWWHAT to get up to 6 extra months free at surfshark.deals/nowwhat Thank you so much for watching this one. I can’t understand why this Fake Disorder Cringe community is so big. These people need a hobby! 👀 But let's unpack why their arguments are so silly. Hopefully the information I shared here might be helpful if you come across these attitudes in real life. If you want some more internet nonsense, you might enjoy taking these 4 bizarre TikTok Autism tests with me: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZ67c2Cue5xrla8

[@Diablo_Himself]

Who is the girl on the right of the thumbnail? Kinda sure I recognise her.

[@mr.irrelevent8956]

You should upload some of your Tik toks as shorts on here.

[@Just-Calebs_alt-offical]

do autistic people have to stim alot?

[@Diablo_Himself]

Who should? Tiktok should be banned worldwide anyway, so may be a good idea.

[@Diablo_Himself]

"Ah, yeah" Sorry, StarCraft flashback.

[@rebeccabrownandhoneyberry]

That "you don't look autistic" trope needs to die. I recently had a friend of several years who teaches special ed tell me that when I let her know I'm autistic. She teaches preschoolers with high needs, for goodness sake. We're not all alike!

[@zakuraRabbit]

Every time I hear that I just wonder then what the heck is an autistic person supposed to look like??? Why would we need to go through multiple tests to get a diagnosis if its just based on appearance??

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Like me. I have never been told I don’t look autistic. I look like a typical nerd with glasses.

[@blade797]

​@zakuraRabbit Someone who rocks back and forth, has fits, doesn't speak, and mentally challenged. That being the worst, and the Sheldron-trope being the "best". Most don't know what autistic actually means at all, and they have this image in their mind.

[@adish1401]

I am literally THE person who looks autistic. I have a friend who doesn't look autistic. My friend isn't believed EVER about their struggles because they "don't look autistic", but the same friend also scores much higher than me on every test we've done together and clearly has much more special needs than I do. Every neurologist I went to realized that I am autistic the moment I've entered their office, meanwhile that wasn't the case for my friend.

[@SuperUmizoomi]

i think i figured out why they actually say that, they think 'autistic' is inherently negative so 'but you dont look autistic!' is a compliment to them and they expect you to say thanks

[@Sinc3r3ly]

Fake disorder cringe: “You can’t diagnose yourself from a 12 second google search!1!” Also fake disorder cringe: “I’m going to diagnose what you don’t have based off of this 20 second tiktok clip”

[@dontpanic7153]

Without even bothering to do as much as a 12 second google search themselves most likely and yet they act like they're experts. "I watched Rainman once and you're nothing like him, must be a faker lol"

[@Sinc3r3ly]

@@dontpanic7153 “you act nothing like my autistic first grade friend I had”

[@MelancholyRequiem]

PREACH!!!

[@TheProxy066]

@NotVille_ Did you just copy-paste what the other person said?

[@sylvianimates]

FR THOUGH

[@prageruwu69]

something i dislike about some "fake disorder cringe" stuff is that many people treat autism like it's a curse that no actual autistic person could be happy with. even many autistic people put down autistic people who are proudly and/or happily autistic because "it's a mental disorder". it reminds me of certain parts of the trans community where they shame other trans people for having pride.

[@goblinguy3103]

ABSOLUTELY. They act like being autistic HAS to be TERRIBLE and if you aren’t MISERABLE then you’re “faking”. Fun fact, autistic people can be happy😭

[@thediscodevil0949]

Man, I feel like I’m guilty of that. Not because I don’t want other autistic people to be happy with their autism, but because I wish I could be like them. Also, they usually come across as thinking autism has no downsides and that we should ALL be happy with it, and it annoys me. With the way it affects me, I’ll never be happy with it. :’)

[@LilChuunosuke]

Yeah i hate when people do that. Like sure i hate the anxiety and the meltdowns and feeling like i don't belong with most of society, but why am i not allowed to love one single part of my autistic self? Why am I not allowed to love how my autistic friends are WAY more open and accepting than my allistic ones? Or how my autism drives me to create?

[@Em_Elizabeth]

It's like nobody can win. Show the darker side and they're accused of seeking pity, show the happier side, and they're accused of glamorizing.

[@Absintherain]

Fr it sucks :(

[@Dreykopff]

Imagine even wanting to fake autism, it's basically choosing to be discriminated. What's so hard about treating people with some basic human respect?

[@Absintherain]

It would be like faking being gay like WTF 😂😂😂

[@GeekGamer666]

Right? Sure, I'll fake a thing so people can spew hatred at me.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

I mean there are definitely people faking but they don’t get the response they might be thinking they will. And a lot of the people faking are doing so to somehow prove people in general are faking. It’s wild.

[@yuenmienyu]

exactly. nobody WANTS to be autistic, people are just born with it. it is what it is, and if people are faking being autistic let alone neurodivergent, then that's bad, but it's up to us autistic and neurodivergent people to call it out - not allistic people.

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

I tried to fake NOT having autism for years because my foster parent used it as an excuse to abuse me.

[@Spooki_Tanuki]

Love how all the “fakers” are female. Nothing like ableism and misogyny in a single comment lol

[@imautisticnowwhat]

So many comments on people's appearances too! If I do another one of these, I'll touch on that a bit more.

[@Acorn905]

​@@imautisticnowwhat true! Like "Oh yes i wear colourfull clothes and like "childish" that means that scientifically my brain works a certain way?" That makes no sense.. TvT I love pastel colors and "weird or odd" clothes and i'm autistic does that mean i'm not autistic? 😅

[@queefgod420]

ive scrolled through this subreddit before, and out of the probably hundred of people i saw, only about 3-4 of them where male or even masculine looking

[@AdamApplebaum]

While I agree it is more common with females I've been told I'm faking it too because no one ever sees me stim. I'm what they call the stoic type. So apart from difficulty with eye-contact, explaining myself, fine motor skills or hyperobsessing over a handful of things and the way in which I articulate myself, no one would have a clue. They used to say I had Aspergers then PDD-NOS probably to avoid the term coined by a Nazi Psychologist. Either way I've never been normal and I never will be. I learned to live with it.

[@itisthefish]

Exactly! Alot of autistic women get misdiagnosed with a different disorder or just shooken of as "shy"

[@Egg_thing]

If a psychiatrist gives you worse healthcare, or someone refuses to help or accommodate you because "too many kids think they're autistic now", then that's the fault of said people who deny you resources. It's them failing their job, not the kids who are struggling and looking for help by self-diagnosing. Stimming, accommodations, basic human decency are not a limited resource, we don't need to ration it between those who are "autistic enough" and those you are not

[@adish1401]

Really, so what if many kids think they are autistic? It should be telling of real statistics on autism in humans, that aren't lowered by the stigma.

[@queefgod420]

@@adish1401 easy. they get an assessment, if theyre autistic theyre autistic, if theyre not theyre not. internet drama shouldnt be brought to the office because it increases bias. denying people of a certain age or certain look an autism assessment is literally what actual autistics have been complaining about since the beginning of time, now neurotypicals are doing it but in a pretending to help autistics way

[@skachor]

At that point they sound like more of a statistician than a psychiatrist

[@miiasutherland852]

Yeah, this Is the exact wrong approach from medical professionals. The real idea should be, "oh good, lets test as many poeple as possible. That way as many people that need help can get it, we can get as much data as possible for studies, and those who don't have whatever diagnosis they are seeking (though my not be conclusive), can discover the true diagnosis they have, and get help or assistance". That would require a paradigm shift in how people think about society though, amd what it means to grow as a species). Not to mention an alteration to capatalist driven medical care (oops, I said it 🤫).

[@-belue-6697]

I wish you were there when I went to see a Neurologist last time so you could drop this truth bomb on him and shut up his severe prejudices and lack of understanding... I would have loved to see it because he was HORRIBLE and should of NEVER become a doctor in the first place. 😒... Sorry, you reminded me of doctors who should quite their job.

[@ninar9664]

A huge problem with “fake disorder cringe” is a lot of the time they post actual creators who have been open about having that disorder and it’s problematic

[@inezaa]

Majority the time tbh

[@ninar9664]

@@inezaa that’s true honestly. I haven’t been on the subreddit but I’ve seen a few of the KZbin videos pop up and I recognize some of them as actual neurodivergent creators who have been open about having that disorder so it makes me wonder how many are faking and who’s deciding that it’s fake because if you take 5 minutes to look at their content then you’d see they’re not faking

[@oscarbjb7938]

name one

[@ninar9664]

@@oscarbjb7938 ok reeceisrandom is very open about his adhd and he was featured in one, tarah Elizabeth has adhd and was featured in one because she wasn’t being super descriptive but has talked about her adhd, and I don’t know her name but this girl who is autistic posted a video about stimming and was called a faker. Honorary mention: crazycae got called a faker even though she is very open about her struggles with mental health. There’s probably more but these are the few that come to mind

[@stonks119]

like ticsandroses? who got exposed? she was open about her "diagnosis" until it came out that she forged her papers. fake all you want idc but such people speak about their supposed illnesses and spread misinformation. imo it would be better if you add "in my experience x showed itself in z behavior" and not create vids with "5 signs you have x" and then have everyone diagnose themselves in the comments... theres already so much stigma around disorders, no need to add more by spreading false information. the "symptom" you think is x disorder might just be "normal" human behavior and not rooted in any disorder.

[@psychomanatee3459]

You hit the nail on the head with the whole "I thought the issue these people had was that they werent seeking out official diagnosis, but now theyre getting mad at people for doing that when they notice they share a lot of symptoms?" Like, replace autism with Covid at the peak of 2020/2021. Imagine going to the doctor telling them "Yeah, you know, I keep seeing people talk about symptoms everywhere, and Ive been feeling them the past couple days, can I get a covid test?" And the doctor is just like "lmao, no. You just think you have it cause its everywhere on the internet right now. Byyyye"

[@CaroEllis]

Well, actually that's happening right now in some places. 😬 In spite of having the symptoms you get answers like "Not everything is Covid, you know" from some doctors.

[@enoki_suki]

"you see, covid is when you really hard to breathe, but you breathing fine to me, you probably just faking it so you can off of work and stay at home." It's literally the same

[@gaygengar]

in fairness Covid is contagious, but i get your point lol

[@ilovekittens9987]

Neurotypical people need to stop telling us we are faking it. It is literally none of their business.

[@Acorn905]

Agreed, some are trying to help but if they really wanted to help they'd 1. do basic research and 2. wouldn't turn autistic people into a meme or insult like bro don't pretend you're q good person or that you're smarter than others if you're going to be rude about it

[@hosannanoctifer]

I got bullied by *teachers* post-diagnosis because they thought I'd never get a job or friends if I didn't stop "acting autistic" (they thought i was pretending for fun).

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

@@Acorn905 I would say for most of the NTs policing autism that it's less "trying to help" and more "convinced themselves that they're helping". It doesn't take much to realise that the first step of helping someone should be to maybe talk to them about what they need...

[@SunflowerSeed784]

Well, how do you know they're Neurotypical? Maybe they're faking it. /s I doubt I can say that to them, if I can't say that then why are they saying it to us?

[@ilovekittens9987]

@@SunflowerSeed784 true, we should start saying they are faking being neurotypical so they see how ridiculous they sound.

[@randomhuman_05]

“Watching TV is stimming now”- When will neurotypical people (and a lot of ND people as well) realize that stimming isn’t about the action, it’s the reason behind it🤦‍♀️. Audio and visual stimming is a thing, one of my ADHD stims is listening to a song over and over again (the other day I listened to Time Warp for 2 hours straight).

[@SaphInfection]

does typing out random sentences a lot because you find it stimulating count as stimming? because i thought so, until i said that and somebody vagueposted about me using an anonymous confession bot, saying i didnt know what stimming was. and then someone said that stimming wasn't voluntary and they knew that because they worked with autistic children :/

[@queefgod420]

@@SaphInfection wtf is wrong with that person, of course an autistic person ONLINE isnt going to look or act the same as an extremely high needs 5 year old boy in a classroom. typing out random sentences (which i assume is/includes repetitive phrases) can be considered stimming, i do it a LOT with my friends and most of it transfers to/comes from actual speech through calls and even gets included in my stimming alone (i am offically diagnosed), most of it is subconcious for me but its still stimming even when i do it on purpose

[@jonaskoelker]

> When will [... people ...] realize that stimming isn't about the action, it's the reason behind it. Probably when it is communicated clearly to them by people they trust.

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

You see ny their logic, listening to a song on repeat isn’t stiming because normal people do that.

[@randomhuman_05]

⁠@@user-cw3wm9lx7wfr, some people are so afraid of being percieved as “other”, they’ll ignore things they do all the time in order to justify their lack of understanding. They’re so close to getting the point😭

[@coherentramblings7326]

For the bathbomb one, I find it funny how the commenters are both acting like the person’s behavior is completely typical and shouldn’t call themselves autistic, while also criticizing them for making the bathbomb more intense than it “should” be. *How intensely* you like something is often a bigger indicator of autism than *what* you like (liking a certain movie doesn’t make you autistic, but liking it so much that you watch it almost everyday is at least an sign that you could be autistic). So by saying “this person’s using too much chemicals in the bath” I see it as an accidental admission that the person might actually be autistic. They’re trying to mock someone for behaving unusually while also denying that the same person’s behavior is in anyway unusual.

[@bweepysquishy]

yepp they're basically just like school bullies, they call autistic people weird while completely ignoring that their "weird"ness is probably caused by autism

[@notshardain]

your last line hits the nail on the head. these people who claim others are faking autism (or other conditions for that matter) just want to make fun of people for being weird while claiming they don't really have autism so it becomes more acceptable to mock them for it. they can convince well meaning but uninformed people into siding with them or joining in, if they frame it as protecting "real" autistic people from the evil "fake" autistics.

[@catdownthestreet]

I saw someone describing it as such: It's like saying oranges are blue. They're not, it's obvious that they're not. There are a lot of different fruits that classify as oranges and all of them look different. There are even a few that aren't oranges but look very similar. But these people don't want to admit that the orange is an orange, so they say the orange is blue despite all the evidence that points to the orange not being blue. Do you understand what I mean? They don't want to admit that they're making fun of real autistic people (the orange), so they pretend like the orange is blue (neurotypical) because that looks better to them than an actual orange.

[@angeltheaxo]

​@catdownthestreet I call it the Sheldon Cooper effect (pls don't get mad at me, I'm autistic as well) because it reminds me of how the writers of the Big Bang theory made Sheldon have a lot of autistic traits, but confirmed him to not be autistic so that they could continue using the character to make fun of neurodivergent people.

[@catdownthestreet]

@@angeltheaxo ugh. I didn't even know that was what they were doing with him.

[@lynnlikewhoa]

if I'm being honest, the r/fakedisordercringe subreddit make me doubt myself more than once. i kept at it over time (because, ya know, i AM autistic) but it was really harmful to my own sense of self. it tacked an extra year at least onto my assessment journey because i wasn't confident i had the right to take up space and time in a professional's day. "who am i to diagnose myself? if i was autistic, I'd know by now" those communities are poison 😢

[@eliannafreely5725]

I'm sorry they had that influence on your life

[@Em_Elizabeth]

I used to watch "fake disorder cringe" videos to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with me. But I got annoyed by how people with diagnoses were lumped in. It's like they're not allowed to speak about life experiences with a disorder.

[@Leshantra]

Glad, they didn't turn you off your journey completely. Because even if it had turned out, that you aren't autistic: Everyone deserves an answer. Even if the answer is "No, you don't have it." At least, you know.

[@ofsomeimportance]

Im autistic, and Im glad that someone is talking about these types of subreddits. Cringe culture is a huge issue, and it’s incredibly ableist. The fact that people laugh at and mock people enjoying their lives is disgusting. Can’t we all just live in peace?

[@linusgustafsson2629]

Technically I'd say 99% of all mocked people put themselves out on video/photos. So you can reduce the mocking by a lot by just being yourself in private, instead of trying to farm the internet for likes and just end up feeling hurt.

[@kadenjantz2180]

​@linusgustafsson2629 We shouldn't have to hide who we are in order to not be mocked.

[@annataymond9529]

Sped teachers are like always the most amazing or the most clueless people I swear.

[@neonpiranha3664]

@@linusgustafsson2629You assume people are posting for likes, but a lot of people who end up being mocked post to simply share their experiences, which often validates a lot of people in the process. Are you a member of the subreddit this video talks about? 😅

[@HiBuddyyyyyy]

@linusgustafsson2629 your comment is kind of giving victim blaming. And ignoring that ableism is a big part of the situation.

[@Madchris8828]

You'd be amazed the "no bulling, doxing or slurs" part of many subreddits is completely ignored as long as its targeting people the OPs don't like. Reddit has some good stuff, but has a huge amount pf hateful trash, and many of the rules just get skated by.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Yeah, there are a lot of 'interesting' things on there 😬 I just can't believe how many people spend time in this community...why? 🧐

[@linusgustafsson2629]

Reddit to a T there. Moderators just banning everything they disagree with personally, and then claim they are tolerant and inclusive and everyone is welcome as long as they follow the rules. (The rules being, don't make the moderator upset by talking about something they hate).

[@kj_H65f]

​​@@imautisticnowwhatmiserable people trying to distract themselves from their own misery by increasing the misery of others that they dont like (because they're so miserable). Thats the kind of person who engages in these subs. Reddit has some good corners but its also chock full of vile people

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

@@linusgustafsson2629 I was banned by a nazi for making a guilotine joke on a post about the french revolution. He was eventually banned, becaue he said heinous shit.

[@Madchris8828]

@user-cw3wm9lx7w wow that's crazy, but also unsurprising.

[@jrichard88]

Clearly, we’re just not autisming autistically enough.

[@john4348]

12:32 "I think I sprained my ankle doc" "I'm not going to talk about that with you. I've had too many people say they had a sprained ankle when it was actually a stubbed toe" What a great doctor

[@KookiePower]

Why do those people not understand that you are allowed to be wrong. If someone comes in and suspects they have appendicitis and it turns out to be something else, they aren’t called attention seeking self or diagnosing. We don’t treat people people like that when it’s physical so why do we do it when it’s mental.

[@queefgod420]

right!!! i literally did exactly that, and so did my sister, and both of us where wrong (bowel issues that run in the family + dehydration can feel like appendicitis), like are me and my sister both attention seekers now? 🤔

[@kkuudandere]

honestly people seem to think you can't be wrong about a lot of things, e.g. trying to figure out your sexuality. if you just want to try out a label, people get REALLY MAD if you wanna change it later. seems so unfortunate to me that people think you have to lock in on a choice forever and never find out otherwise.

[@LilChuunosuke]

I did exactly that wildly enough. Went to the hospital in so much pain that i couldn't think clearly. Told the doctors i suspected it might be appendicitis. What did they do? Immediately checked for it, ruled it out, and started asking me what symptoms I was having that made me think it was appendicitis so they could work out the issue faster. When the painkillers kicked in, i remembered my family had a history of kidney stones and told the first nurse to approach me. I was scheduled for a scan almost immediately. Incorrect self diagnosis actually HELPED my doctors solve the issue FASTER. It gives them a stronger baseline to work off of because they can get a longer list of very specific symptoms much faster.

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

@@kkuudandere yep

[@yuenmienyu]

there is a mental health disorder (a subtype of anxiety disorder) that is called "health anxiety". it happens when somebody has been repeatedly stressing about their physical health condition, and whether they've got an illness or not. for eg. let's say there's a man called James. he's 34. James has been non-stop worrying about whether he has brain cancer for a month, mainly because he felt very dizzy during a business meeting prior to his repetitive worrying. he constantly considers booking appointments with doctors, even though his doctor two months before confirmed he had no signs of cancer in his body. now, even though James' stressing is irrational, he's still human and deserves comfort, rather than people yelling at him about how he's constantly worrying and misunderstanding his body. it's the same with autism - if someone mistakes that they have autism, that's fine. it's completely normal to mistaken having a disorder. because i was ostracised for my autistic traits as a child - I was undiagnosed btw - I thought i had schizophrenia. i became so uncomfortable with my peers, my family and my friends that I thought I was mentally delusional.

[@rhondawest6838]

Yes, I came to the conclusion that I am autistic without professional input. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 35, and at that time you couldn't (!) be both. To get an "official" diagnosis now would cost between $3,000 and $5,000. So, sure, I'll get an official diagnosis if you want to pay for it, Karen.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

EXACTLY!! Thousands of dollars for someone to tell you you are who you are.

[@Moonless87]

3,000-5,000$?? That's awful, in my nordic country it's about 50 euros, about the same in dollars....

[@hope3290]

Even with insurance it still cost me around $1400 for the first assessment.

[@rhondawest6838]

@@hope3290 yikes! I'm in Canada, and it's covered for people under 18. There's an organization locally that will cover it up to the age of 35. After that, you have to have some sort of private insurance, and there's no guarantee the policy will cover it. It's like, well, you've made it this far, what difference does it make? 🙄

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

@@Moonless87 Unfortunately even a lot of countries with public systems operate under the flawed assumption that if you've made it through early childhood then you don't have autism or ADHD, and only really fund services aimed at children as a result

[@shovel4040]

"Autism going undiagnosed can lead to mental health challanges" This should be on a billboard or something. I only got my autism and ADHD diagnosis last year, after I literally got so burnt out I was hospitalized because I kept fallig asleep/shutting down.(I still haven't recovered completely). Nobody thought anything was wrong with me because I did well in school. -_-

[@LilChuunosuke]

Same thing happened to me! Fainting spells, temporary paralysis, and even miniature strokes all caused by burnout from undiagnosed audhd. Whenever I suggested to my loved ones that I thought maybe these health problems were caused by me overworking myself, they'd point to people they knew (assumed) were sicker than I was that could accomplish more. They concluded I was just lazy and was exaggerating these very real, very dangerous health concerns or that all of them were entirely unrelated to each other. I am far more productive now that I'm able to take my time and conserve my energy into doing things slowly and correctly instead of struggling to complete tasks I don't have the mental capacity to do correctly until I end up too sick to move.

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

I do well in school other than that I miss class a lot because of doing homework all night and sleeping during the day.

[@shovel4040]

@@nuclearcatbaby1131 I'm the opposite, I do well in class but I can't do homework lol.

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

@@shovel4040 If the homework is math homework and it’s graded then doing it with a deadline causes me to do worse on the test because I’m too focused on the deadline to remember the problems. I had to do my math homework but make a point of not turning it in to save my test grade. You could probably do homework better if you stopped attending class. Autistics don’t learn well from teachers.

[@shovel4040]

@@nuclearcatbaby1131 I would do homework better if I didn't attend class, but personally I learn better from teachers. I'm quite active too, answering questions and giving opinions. At home I easily get distracted, bored and frustrated. No two autistics are the same. That's what makes us so fun 😊

[@_kaleido]

I “love” how most of the people they make fun of on there are just attractive young women

[@Link-dx1lx]

Because clearly women can't be autsitc, and if they can they can't be autistic AND attractive, and obviously all young women just lie for attention all the time /s

[@Yoma_all]

"no you can't be a woman,autistic and pretty! It goes against the rules!pick one"

[@comicsans3537]

It's cuz they refuse to believe autistic people often are beautiful or even "average". They insist we all look like downs syndrome/fetal alcohol syndrome/trisomy people- they see that alone as an insult too :/ So someone like me, who has been told I'm pretty attractive even on days I feel disgusting, gets told I'm too pretty to be autistic... Ok, sorry let me just *makes t-rex arms like when I don't mask and pulls hair like I do in meltdowns*

[@AliceBunny05]

Truly, young attractive women are so much more likely than almost anyone else (in my experience) to be told they can't have autism, that they're faking autism, etc. God forbid an allistic person who knows nothing about autism finds themselves attracted to you. The moment they find out you're autistic, the sheer discomfort that oozes out of the is wild to witness. Like they can't possibly believe they are attracted to something so "far outside the norm". It's like they find it offensive that I'm even allowed to be autistic and pretty at the same time.

[@AcidicKlxwn]

It honestly annoys me so much when people say that self diagnosing is bullshit, it really isn't, it can help people find ways to cope, plus some people can't afford to be medically diagnosed, but also self-diagnoses is the first step to being medically diagnosed, cause if you don't think you might have it you'll never go get that checked

[@ShringoMania]

My psychiatrist told me that if you've come to a point where you self diagnose yourself as autistic, you probably are

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

Not every self diagnosis is "correct" but the majority will be, and even in the cases where it's "incorrect", who cares? Psychiatric diagnoses are based on apparent patterns and then validated through research, they aren't some easily tested for genetic disorder or infection or something. They overlap, they're messy, complex and inconsistent because humans are messy and complex. And the result is that even psychiatrists can't agree on what diagnosis applies to someone. In this context, if the label "autism" points the person in the right direction to get the support they need, who cares even if it is "wrong" by some impossible, arbitrary, objective standard? Not to mention the arrogance of people who think that watching a random 30s TikTok gives them more insight into someone's mental health than the person in the video who's lived their life for years and knows themself inside and out. Just pointless gatekeeping for the sake of them feeling smart.

[@T1MB05L1C3]

I mean if a university (specifically University of Washington) says self-diagosing is acceptable, it's probably acceptable. Just a hunch tho

[@darkacadpresenceinblood]

​@@ShringoManiathis is true! i went down the rabbit hole of thinking i was autistic, i *really really* wanted it to be true because it would've explained a lot about me, but eventually realized that's not the answer for me and found other explanations for the questions i had. sure confirmation bias is a thing, but anyone who is genuinely trying to understand themselves and doing research is going to realize they're wrong, it's not like self diagnosis is the "oh i heard of this diagnosis once and i like it so i'm going to claim it as mine" that people against it like to paint it as...

[@Madchris8828]

Well said

[@aikoaikoaikoaikoaikoaiko]

honestly i dont like how people who self-diagnose are all seen as “pick-mes” when many arent. my mom self-diagnosed anxiety but not just to show it off on tiktok, because she needed therapy and proper treatment. and when teenagers/kids say they have disorder theyre just called “fake” even if they have a proper diagnosis. just because theyre young doesn’t mean theyre overreacting

[@iliketea162]

Exactly people see one comment say "I'm self diagnosed" and don't care enough that there's a person behind the screen that researched it and has an entire life off the internet

[@dumbumbumbum8649]

It reminds me of when chuds made up the “trans trender” thing. In both cases, I don’t know why someone would claim to be something they aren’t when it makes people treat you worse.

[@phant0m92]

​@@dumbumbumbum8649 I think it depends on the social circles you run in and the strata of society you are from and the culture you live in. Munchausen syndrome is a real condition and thats at the most extreme end of things. With social media there is definitely clout that can be extracted from having a disability and there are narcissistic people who will attempt to extract that clout. Not many but then as you've stated having Autism often makes people treat us worse. Even a small minority of narcissistic people with large social media followings pretending could have negative affects on how society interacts and accommodates us as they could give misperceptions of what Autism actually is and how it can affect us.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Fr. I don't show off my autism. The label helps me find coping tools online. Like i would not have bought ear defenders if i hadnt known i was autistic and theyve helped me escape sensory distress many times.

[@dumbumbumbum8649]

@@phant0m92 people’s treatment of autistic people has nothing to do with anyone pretending. Even if some people are pretending, that’s no excuse for people to form prejudices based on their own ignorant lack of willingness to do even the most basic research. And even that response is granting too much leeway to your second paragraph as it completely ignores that autism was used as an insult and an excuse to belittle long before this supposed pandemic of fakers. In a world where most people respected autistic people, those doing autistic pantomime would have no effect. At most you could argue they’re slowing down progress, but that would imply any progress had been made which I don’t think many would agree is an accurate representation of reality.

[@pilotracoon80]

The mental gymnastics that these redittors do to bully people while at the same time feeling like a Knight in shining armor defending the "real" people with "real" problems...

[@its.Lora.]

Right! As an "actually autistic" person (I don't like saying that but sometimes have to anymore) it's incredibly offensive. First these people have the audacity to bully others, specifically about something the bullies clearly have no knowledge about, but then the bullies have the audacity to act like they're Saviors to us diagnosed autistic people?!? Uh no thank you! Bullies are not saviors to diagnosed autistic people! They can go away.

[@comicconcarne]

@@its.Lora. "Actually autistic" is less about differentiating from "fakers" and more about differentiating from allistic stakeholders in the "autism community": parents, teachers, doctors, other caregivers. There was a tendency for "autism support groups" to be from the perspective of parents. So don't feel bad saying "actually autistic," it's not meant to gatekeep.

[@Silverwind87]

I'm autistic. I was officially diagnosed, which is more than a lot of autistic people can say. I never asked for those redditors to advocate for me, and they can fuck right off into a meat grinder.

[@serazvi5387]

It's such a cultural problem with reddit I am so glad I never go there anymore 😅

[@snuuy7015]

When I was 12 my therapist told me she thinks I may be autistic. I got an assessment, and they told me I had autism. My current therapist (different from last) told me I might not have it because I make eye contact with her and can name my emotions. I’m 14 now. I was caught off guard 😭😭

[@nope6325]

Get a new one if you can, I wouldn’t be comfortable putting my mental health into the hands of someone who clearly isn’t well educated in their own field of work

[@comicsans3537]

Ah yes, I managed to learn to recognize my hunger and anxiety and happy excitement aren't the same emotion after years of confusion! Must not be autistic!! /s

[@thecolorjune]

That’s so crazy. Eye contact and emotional naming are skills one can practice and learn. If you were diagnosed as autistic, you’ll always be autistic even if you learn to mask better or understand yourself better. I used to be way worse at identifying my emotions and emotional triggers so I’d just say I felt “bad” or “stressed” for any negative emotion, and not know the cause. Now that I can differentiate sadness from anger from distress from fear from pain doesn’t mean I’m less autistic. I have fewer meltdowns too, because I have learned what things overstimulate me and how to notice when that is happening and avoid it (headphones, sensory safe clothes, sunglasses, leaving certain environments, etc). Still just as autistic! Never doubt yourself, and speak up for your needs 🧡

[@xxdaemochibixx120]

Me who can make eye contact and identify emotions(I work with kids so that last one is important) but cannot remember to eat unless I'm told to or for get to go pee..

[@larularae2106]

Stimming is so stigmatized by neurotypical people and it makes me kinda angry. I used to do the classic leg bounce but teachers would usually tell me to "stop distracting the class" or that I'm doing it for attention, even though for me it's just a behavior that helps me regulate my attention and mental state.

[@Goblin_book_nook]

I saw a movie once where the main character criticised a girl for bouncing her leg (as if it was some sort of moral failing). It's been at least 2 decades, but that scene has really stuck with me (and I don't even remember anything else about the movie, not even it's title)

[@LilChuunosuke]

My brother and I used to bounce our legs & whenever my parents caught us doing it, they would quite literally push their body weight down onto our knees so we physically could not lift our heels off the floor. They did it for years until we stopped. I was always called rude but it was completely subconscious and I couldn't even stop myself from doing it even when I was fully aware of it happening.

[@audreydoyle5268]

​@@LilChuunosuke was it your left or right leg? Or both?

[@LilChuunosuke]

@audreydoyle5268 i think it was usually my right but could happen to either leg

[@anxiousoptimism5517]

So not stimming is handicapping yourself?

[@jojo0017]

Recently a friend of mine told me I dont look autistic. She was wondering why I dont answer her when she is talking to me and I told her sometimes I get overwhelmed and I cant answer right away because I'm autistic. I just told her to research it more.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Hopefully she'll come around! Sometimes it just takes people time 💛

[@heli0ns]

Yeah I used to know someone who would work themselves into a huge upset because I didn't immediately answer their ranting or tell them what they wanted to hear. I was undiagnosed at the time, and it put me through emotional hell.

[@melbapeach162]

I admit I've lied and told people I don't hear very well.. because it's easier than explaining why I don't always answer or even compute that someone is speaking to me..

[@heathertoomey7068]

Good response! Way to keep kindness and peace in our civilization!

[@unluckyomens370]

@@melbapeach162 I wish I could use that but id definitely get side eyes because im pretty noise sensitive but it always sounds scrambled when someone speaks if I wasnt listening for it like I recognize theyve spoken and I can identify it was a language I should understand but the words just dont happen

[@starlighttheorist2683]

I have a system friend who got banned from that subreddit for "supporting systems under eighteen," when they themselves are a system bodily under eighteen. Why in the world would a disorder rooted in childhood trauma be impossible to find in minors??

[@ev_rlasting]

I think this is likely coming from a misunderstanding of how the disorder presents. The reason it's uncommonly diagnosed in minors is generally because alters aren't as developed at that point, and tend to be more covert. This is also the reason a large number of people with complex dissociative disorders are diagnosed late into adulthood- the disorder is largely very hidden and alters take time to develop fully. However, that's no reason to immediately discard someone who may be aware of their situation. I'm a medically recognized system so i speak from a place of understanding here, but yeah. the disorder doesn't "immediately" become apparent, which is why despite being rooted in childhood trauma, most people aren't aware of it until later in life.

[@bingusdingus7417]

I said i was autistic at work and my coworker said "me too" i eventually found out hes not, he just calls himself autistic and r*tarded when he makes mistakes :( food service is an awful sensory experience and i know theyre making fun of me for regulating myself, having cringey interests, not being able to read the order numbers correctly. (Dysgraphia) it just makes me sad

[@gabby222themoon]

Sorry u go thru that 😢

[@grotesque_graves]

DUDE. It is so crazy how many neurotypical people just normally use the term autistic to describe themselves as being dumb or just as a joke. it's so degrading??

[@bingusdingus7417]

@@grotesque_graves for real

[@AliceBunny05]

​@@grotesque_gravesIt's seriously like my joker origin story.

[@lemonadec0re]

@@grotesque_gravesor the term “sped”

[@violet_franz]

Wow, reddit bullying people for literally no reason and showing prejudice? That's totally new!

[@kj_H65f]

I've had a reddit account (not the same one but you know what I mean) since 2007 and this abelism (even in the autism sub!) finally got to me and I stopped using it 3 months ago. The final straw was really dumb but it was some ignorant person arguing that RSD is made up in tik tockers minds, when I showed links to Cleveland clinic and mayo clinic and said my wife actually has it and talks about it with her therapist and that she was late diagnosed adhd and thought for nearly 40 years that she was just "broken" and all this person had to say was essentially "nope its in your head" I went nuclear. I hate online communities which place more emphasis on general engagement instead of positive interactions. I cant deal with it anymore. Its the same reason I turn off notifications on my you tube comments. The vast majority of people on the channels I comment on are great but I can't deal with the people who just want to tear down and destroy.

[@Ted_Sheckler]

Wow, Emotionally unstable and overly sensitive people into anime? That's totally new!

[@hope3290]

@@Ted_Sheckler Way to out yourself as the bully they're talking about lmao. If it don't apply, let it fly.

[@Ted_Sheckler]

@@hope3290 "YoU'rE a BulLy AnD aN AbLeIsT. LmAo"

[@hope3290]

@@Ted_Sheckler Lol, a hit dog hollers. You're big mad.

[@Kageoni187]

My oldest with autism used water to help reset himself when he became overstimulated and having a meltdown. I would walk him into a bathroom and turn on the sink and he would move his fingers through the water and be completely disassociated. After a bit he would be back and calm enough for me to take him home. Because I went undiagnosed until 1-2 years ago I learned so much from him and being lucky enough to be his mom.

[@Madchris8828]

Thank you for sharing. This is nice to hear. For me, what helps me when I'm angry is to clean of all things.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

You're lucky to have eachother! You sound like a lovely parent.

[@meowmeowmeowmeowcatoncomputer]

You sound like a very good mother. ❤ I'm not Autistic (BPD, PTSD) but when I was particularly stressed from university/work I used to go for a swim and the coldness of the water/the exercise helped me a lot. I no longer live near a pool (and don't have a bathtub) which is kinda sad but now I go for short walks in the wintertime without a very heavy jacket on to replicate the feeling of coolness. I mean, it's totally not the healthiest and I come back home a sniffling mess but it's better than more dangerous coping mechanisms. 😅

[@shadow_shine3578]

Oh I do that!! Yeah Warm water over my hands just pulls all the stimulus pain out and I can think straight again!

[@unluckyomens370]

Low key wish you were my mom when I told my mom that loud make me cry (i know i couldve phrased it better but i was like 8) she started yelling at me about how the world wont turn its volume down for me the crazy part is she saw me have like a full on panic attack when she took me to a karate class because I couldnt handle everyone screaming in such an echoey room

[@infamous_orb]

The whole reason people are forced to self diagnose is because doctors aren't doing their jobs.

[@allyh7075]

I hate how it's become acceptable for people who claim to be accepting and progressive to just openly bully disabled people by using the excuse that they're "just calling out fakers" as though they're doing a great service for us. Like no, you're making our lives more difficult and stressful.

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

I suspect this subreddit is a mix of people who just want an excuse to arrogantly insult/demean disabled people who don't fit their narrow definitions of disability, and maybe some autistic people who want autism to be perceived in a very specific way and are trying to distance themselves from autistic people who dare to be slightly different to them. Edit: come to think of it, it's the exact pattern of pushback being faced by trans people right now - early signs of broader societal acceptance and awareness have resulted in a catch-up explosion of recognition and self identification that has overwhelmed existing support systems, and reactionaries have responded to this explosion in isolation with fear that somehow everyone everywhere will wind up autistic/trans/insert marginalised group here. The response trans advocates usually bring up is to point out what happened with self identified left handedness - we stopped vilifying left handed people, and then there was an explosion of left handedness. Importantly though, once self identified left handedness caught up with the underlying rates that explosion tapered off, and we don't currently live in a society where 500% of people are left handed. The same effect is clearly at play with autism right now, but reactionaries don't care about logic, they care about their fear of people not being "normal".

[@chesneymigl4538]

Yup, we are at the trailing end of dealing with that with ADHD. You still get pushback, but it's not as bad as it was.

[@lambybunny7173]

This is the exact same shit as transmedicalist bullshit, you're exactly right. "You aren't trans/autistic/neurodivergent/disabled in the way that *I* like! So therefore you're not!"

[@me-myself-i787]

The difference is, left-handed people don't get extra time in exams, free fast passes at theme parks, and other benefits. The people giving out these benefits want to make sure they're going to people who really need them. And the people receiving these benefits also want that, because the fewer people receive these benefits, the more they benefit them. If everyone got a free fast pass, fast passes would become worthless. The cost of a regular fast pass, and the exclusivity of disabled fast passes, ensures queues remain short for people with these fast passes. And since the grade you receive in an exam depends on how well everyone else does, in order to prevent the difficulty of the paper from affecting grades, everyone getting extra time will lower autistic people's grades. Side-note: The idea behind extra time is to prevent processing speed from affecting grades. But if processing speed shouldn't affect grades, why have a time limit? Also, no-one likes queuing. My sister who isn't autistic hates queues more than me, and I am autistic. I never understood the point in these accommodations.

[@amandafrederickson3764]

​@@me-myself-i787 I don't doubt that things like this are contributing to the ongoing problems - neurotypical people viewing accomodations as "benefits" and having accompanying negative associations, being like "well, what makes them special/ why can't I have special benefits/they're faking because they want benefits" (especially if it's things that really should be allowed for just being human, not just a disabled/disadvantaged human, because seriously so many things desperately need to be more human friendly) while at the same time, those who are trying to extend accomodations often don't even know what the needs actually are/what needs accommodating.

[@hayuseen6683]

​@me-myself-i787 Re Autism people getting more time on exams but not normies... "since the grade you receive depends on how everyone else does... everyone getting extra time lowers autistic people's grades" Pointing out the main problem then walking right by it to say it's this thing downstream not the one pissing in the drinking water. Remove the part where you're grading by class curve since it's nonsense, give everyone the time to actually present something reflecting their abilities, then grade based on an objective required performance level rather than bs competitiveness. If the curve for a class based on exam time limits and thus relative time to take in a job matters then autistic people shouldn't get extra time, the field they're taking an exam in obviously is time sensitive (or it's stupid exam meaurements, as above). An ICU nurse with autism isn't going to get extra time to decide what blood to transfuse. But I'm betting on dumbfk exams and disconnected faculty that don't understand the world outside academia echo chambers.

[@goroakechi22]

It's really sad to see how a lot of medical professionals will still invalidate a lot of AFABs experiences/feelings when it comes to autism. There was this one time where I had finally worked up the courage to start going to a psychologist again (after some negative experiences with the first one), and I told her that I think I might be autistic. I told her because she claimed to be very experienced with young people with autism. She then proceeded to ask me TWO!! whole questions and then said: "No, I don't think you're autistic. I could tell since the moment you stepped through the door.' So yeah, I never went back there for obvious reasons. :(

[@Absintherain]

That sucks I’m a trans man who was very gifted and I was always “too smart” to have things like that. Try going to different doctors until your heard and make sure to rate that doctor online so everyone knows what they did

[@goroakechi22]

@@Absintherain Thanks :) Im transmasc and have also been told many times that I’m too smart, friendly, etc so I know how you feel! There’s currently a very long queue for almost everything mental health related in my country, so I’m still waiting to get tested. Hopefully they’ll take me serious this time cuz it’s super exhausting and expensive having to go to a different person constantly.

[@Absintherain]

@@goroakechi22 ik this type of crap is deplorable

[@AliceBunny05]

Any professional that asks you two questions and immediately crosses you off from pretty much any mental health issues or neurodevelopmental disorder, is not to be trusted.

[@antispeedrun]

If my doctor/therapist/psychiatrist/misc. mental health professional ever said, "no, I'm not going to talk with you about that", no matter what the topic was, I'd immediately respond to it with, "cool, then I'm going to find someone else who will." Wouldn't miss a beat on that.

[@LilChuunosuke]

When i was a young preteen and being groomed into joining destructive corners of the internet, I used to sincerely believe that faking disabilities was a widespread phenomenon that needed to be corrected. Now that I know I'm autistic, it's just extremely upsetting for me to watch "fake disorder cringe" because it's almost always filled with the most blatantly obviously autistic people I've ever seen. Like they will literally mock and exclude us for talking differently, walking differently, thinking differently, dressing differently, behaving differently, etc., but then turn around and deny us the community of people that are all exactly like us? It makes no sense. They're obviously just afraid of being called a bigot for mocking us, so they attempt to gaslight us into thinking our disability is an active choice we engage in every day. That we CHOOSE to be kicked down by society and mocked for entertainment. Yet we're the ones with the empathy problem? 🙄

[@YBRebel]

It's literally just conservatism 101. They just deny struggle makes themselves seem like the vocal minority and start putting bigotry in the resources for the people struggling or just ban it completely.

[@AliceBunny05]

In my opinion the community of people who fakeclaim autistic people to this degree genuinely just want an excuse to bully, belittle and pick on autistic people for being autistic, and this is a very easy way for them to do that. Just act like they're faking it, and you have an excuse to belittle someone for being a "faker" instead of because they're autistic, while still actually making fun of them for autistic traits.

[@sharonsomers5342]

I had to laugh at the idea that asking your doctor for a diagnosis was somehow awful. I had never broken my leg before the first time I did it. But I knew what broken bones were about from other people. So when I thought I broke my leg I went in and asked for tests to determine if I had broken my leg. Yup. Broke it. Was I supposed to have stayed at home or told the ER to just guess why I was there? That would be cute. "What brings you in today?" "The internet says I can't tell you that. You need to guess." We do it all the time with medical diagnoses. It's called anecdotal evidence. And while I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose anything, I could and did look stuff up so I could form better questions. Because of this, I was able to tell my psychiatrist why I wanted to be tested. And that's how people approach health care in an internet world. There is nothing wrong with that. People who are depressed go to psychiatrists all the time saying they are depressed. Why is autism exempt? We all should think about questions we will be asked ahead of time to answer them fully. Do they think it's drug-seeking? Don't they know they don't give drugs for autism? The only thing we should do is be open-minded about the process from the professional. If the professional thinks you aren't autistic, by all means, get a second opinion who specializes in autism for your category (adult women for me). But coming prepared just means you can answer those questions more precisely. And that's okay. Doctors may not like people mistaking Google for their medical degree, but they hate time wasters even more. So cut to the chase, be honest, and that will either give you the right doctor for you or you can weed out the doctors that are bad for you much more quickly. And if we shouldn't be trying to give ourselves medical diagnoses, why is it okay to give others advice on what to do about their autism in the same breath? Isn't that entire subreddit just the pot calling the kettle black? If I'm not laughing I'm crying. And today I'm laughing at this.

[@bee4123]

incredibly well said! 👌

[@ellebannana]

Love the way you illustrated this! "The internet says I can't tell you that" had me rolling

[@liaaca]

Fantastically explained! 👏🏼

[@LilChuunosuke]

Yup, when I went to the ER with kidney stones, I was repeatedly asked "what do you THINK is the problem?" Even when I said I wasn't sure, they ENCOURAGED me to guess! I guessed appendicitis first and they immediately started checking me for it! And guess what happened when I was wrong? Did they scold me for it? Did they disregard everything I said about my symptoms? No! They ran through the symptoms of appendicitis with me to help narrow down what it could be. Mistakenly believing it was appendicitis actually HELPED them because they were able to narrow down the exact location where my pain was flaring up and were able to determine there was no internal tear or rupture because applying pressure had no impact on the levels of pain I experienced. Doctors ask for self diagnoses ALL THE TIME because even if the patient is wrong, it provides a strong starting point to work off of that would've taken much longer to reach if they disregarded the patient entirely.

[@sharonsomers5342]

@@LilChuunosuke exactly! "What do you think it is and why" is one of the first questions you are ever asked because so often we are right! And even if we aren't, it's a starting place for actual information exchange. I don't know what people think doctors do, but it's so skewed sometimes.

[@scrumpelart9406]

I still stuggle with going to a therapist because of a bad one. When i first started learning about autism i found an article from npr that interviewed autistic females having burnout and going non-verbal, and i brought the article to my therapist and said i thought this sounded a lot like me and sometimes i can't speak when i get overwhelmed, but before i could tell her any of the other things i had found (pre-tiktok) she laughed at me and said 'that's not what that means'. I don't remember much about the rest of the appointment. I never went back and was diagnosed with autism a year later.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

I'm so sorry 😩 I don't know if it's because so many health professionals are overworked and they just become jaded? It seems to happen so often. Even if the therpist disagreed - surely she could have listened and been respectful. Laughing at a client is ridiculous! Glad you got your diagnosis in the end, though!

[@therealsugarbitzskelly9780]

Oh no! But this happens to me! I get so overwhelmed that I have to strain my voice to talk, and sometimes I can't even speak at all. It's gotten to a point sometimes where I was terrified of it because all of a sudden, I was mute! I had to communicate with a notes app while I was holding back tears the first time this got so bad.

[@BlueKitsune72]

I bought being autistic up in relation to the statistical overlap with other groups I belong to. All of a sudden the conversion therapy comes out. Somehow I'll never be seen as a woman, even though I almost exclusively get gendered female. And that my hrt is "incredibly dangerous " Turns out the conversion therapy ban has an exemption for "personal oppinion", "religious values" and adults. Bitch started writing letters to the people in charge of my transgender care stating I'd said I wasn't trans. I got it cleared up, but it was horrible. Couldn't even complain because she wasn't registered even though she was on the insurance list

[@dmen329]

I definitely feel you on this. I started questioning around 4 years ago and brought it up to my therapist. I had pages of a notebook filled with reasons I think I am. She shut me down with things regarding my “good communication” and demanded to know what my special interest was when I didn’t even really know what that meant at the time. Looking back now though every session I spoke through the lense of horror and books. I sent her a video about autism that she later said was helpful for another client she had 🙄 I got so obsessed with trying to prove to ppl around me this is what was going on and eventually got so exhausted and couldn’t talk about it anymore due to the rejection and need to constantly explain myself. I could’ve been diagnosed and receiving proper help four years ago (I was already 24 and suffering extreme autistic burnout) but only found a new therapist this year that is also autistic and the difference in how they speak to me is incredible. I don’t have to explain why I think I’m autistic anymore because they see me and understand how to help me and be there for me as an autistic person.

[@somethingsomething1395]

@@BlueKitsune72Oh. oh god no. i know exactly why that therapist did that. she believed autism was a male only thing. and since you said you thought you may be autistic she mustve thought that all of a sudden you were going back on being trans...eurgh hate that when we say stuff instead of taking us at our literal meaning they di shit like this

[@allyh7075]

The thing that always bothers me the most about these people who try to "catch" people with "fake disorders/disabilities" is what is the best case scenario here? You happen to find one incredibly rare person using a label for attention? Vs the clear negative consequences which are calling out already marginalised people and shaming them for not fitting your stereotypes, making us feel scared and ashamed to share our experiences in case we're accused of being liars (which is my worst nightmare thanks to the trauma of not being believed for most of my childhood.) You can never know for sure what's going on in somebody else's brain, so there's literally *no* positives to accusing them of lying about an invisible disability/disorder etc.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Exactly! It's never productive and has a huge risk of being harmful.

[@allyh7075]

@@imautisticnowwhat thank you so much for the reply! Your channel makes me feel so much less alone and I really appreciate the community you've built here. I hope you're doing well 💕

[@unluckyomens370]

Another thing like even in that “best” case VERY infrequent scenario. Is that really an aha moment like is feeling that you have to fake something for the people around you to notice you not indicative of something the person would need genuine help with

[@BeeTeaBoi]

I never understood why subreddits dedicated to posting people they think are "cringe" for the subreddit to discuss, put down, laugh at, and make fun of have "no bullying" rules. My brother in christ, you're the bullying subreddit!

[@GoroAkechi_Real]

This reminds me of an autistic guy I was friends with once telling me that stimming was "twitter shit" and not real and then he got mad when I pulled up an article from a psychology journal about it

[@renea1827]

This is me. I am a 80s baby/ 90s kid. Autism runs in my family. I have several cousins that have it, Ironically all male. I was labeled all kinds of things when I was younger. Shy, quiet, stuck up, weird. School was extremely hard for me. I'm 34 and still have nightmares about it. When I started school my motor skills were pretty bad. The teacher was always yelling at me and calling me lazy. On top of that I couldn't follow directions very well and I had a horrible stuttering problem. I was diagnosed with ADHD and they left it at that. It wasn't until I started researching it for my son because of his developmental delays that I slowly started putting everything together. It kinda makes me angry looking back, because it's so obvious, but not even my family noticed. I'm in the process of trying to get a diagnosis.

[@hiruki8]

Do you still think you have ADHD comorbid or do you think they labeled your autism as ADHD?

[@renea1827]

@@hiruki8 Its comorbid. I definitely still have the ADHD.

[@PossumBeetle]

A lot of this subreddit seems like “they don’t show symptoms in the way I think they should!! Must be fake!!” Or “I’ve never heard of that exact symptom before! Must be fake!!”

[@PossumBeetle]

Oh also on the “no bullying harassing etc” thing. I’ve known people who have been put on the subreddit, found out about it, comments were fuckin awful, and when they reached out to mods and reported the post and stuff they were like (not a direct quote this was a couple years ago) “nah it’s fine that’s not bullying! Also we don’t care if the video was you even if you have proof”

[@Problempossum11]

I used to follow this subreddit out of morbid curiosity and had to leave it for my own mental health. The amount of misinformation and disinformation shared on that sub was astronomical. People were especially ill-informed about stimming on there. I tried to educate people that stimming is ANY kind of self stimulating behavior that directly affects the senses and nervous system and got downvoted like crazy. One person tried to me fight tooth and nail, because they didn't believe that listening to a song on repeat is a stim. The whole sub reddit is garbage and so counterproductive to the message that its trying to convey. Its supposed to "reveal the fakes" but it ends up just bullying and ostracizing people with mental and neurodevelopmental conditions further.

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

the thing is listening to a song on repeat is a socially acceptable thing to do. So therefore in these people’s mind, not a stim becausw acceptable.hell, you can loop a song and playing it outloud while annoying is still seen as acceptable.

[@JonBrase]

The thing is "stimming" is not a term used in the diagnostic criteria, so it's not rigidly defined. At its broadest it can be anything under the restricted/repetitive behaviors criterion, but I myself tend to think more of the high-repeat-rate stuff that is done with your own body (hand flapping, spinning, repeated nonsense noises). Putting a song on repeat doesn't require repeated action to maintain (you set it up and it keeps playing) and the repetition is slow.

[@AliceBunny05]

​@@JonBrasewell the phrase itself comes from "stimulation" or "self stimulation". so, repeated stimulation you provide to yourself for the purpose of regulation among other things.

[@CarysCantDance]

I’m currently doing a masters in a psychology related field at prestigious university. The amount of ableism I’ve heard some of my lecturers spout regarding neurodivergent conditions (ADHD and autism in particular) is appalling (and yes, I have voiced my concerns, as have other students). My course leader flat out said that they don’t believe ADHD medication works and that any perceived benefits are psychosomatic, knowing that myself and other people on the course take prescribed ADHD medication. A guest lecturer said that “anyone can get an ADHD or autism diagnosis these days because we all have behavioural traits that can be associated with either condition”.

[@jessl1934]

Psychology as a discipline has this bizarre urge to gatekeep extremely strictly and I think it comes from the fact that it's a soft science masquerading as a hard science. It's funny that guest lecturer said that about ADHD and autism when it's much more appropriate to make that charge against anxiety and depression but saying as much would be a threat to the field of psychology. You know, if you said to a psychologist "anyone can get diagnosed with OCD or addiction since we all have behavioral traits that can be associated with that condition" then immediately they'd shoot you a scornful look and tut at you because OCD or addiction is not defined by behavioral traits exclusively but by the intensity and duration of these traits as well as the emotional distress and disturbances that it causes to a person's ability to live a normal life. Strange that some psychologists don't extend that same approach to things like ADHD and autism though.

[@hayuseen6683]

Psychologists with no background in neurology shouldn't talk too confidently about something deeply neurological which they only see the facade of through behaviors. Maybe they were pointing out how bad psychologists are at diagnosing by implying their field is medicalizing typical human behaviors. Although I'd say autism is a pretty typical human neurological scheme, it's not that rare, but it's different and god forbid society takes people's needs into account if they're not baseline bog standard.

[@CarysCantDance]

@@hayuseen6683 The two lecturers I’m referring to are both advocates of the PTMF (Power Threat Meaning Framework) which the British Psychological Society have been promoting as an alternative to the DSM-5 for recognising/diagnosing both mental health and neurodevelopmental conditions. Whilst the DSM-5 is flawed, the PTMF is incredibly problematic. In a nutshell, it pretty much reduces every mental health condition and neurodivergent condition to a trauma response, including ADHD and autism, even though neither are mental illnesses. In other words, according to the PTMF, nobody is born with ADHD or autism, and the psychologists who devised the framework claim there’s no evidence that either are hereditary.

[@hayuseen6683]

@@CarysCantDance Wow. That's impressively dumb, I wonder how they'd react to being told conforming to NT behavior is due to a trauma response. I'd bet they boldly presume NT to be the essentialist baseline. Nothing like doubling down on ablist ideology...

[@tesreso5448]

If everyone has traits on the spectrum of ADHD and Autism... umm... then maybe we arent the 'weird' ones? Not the neurodivergent ones? Maybe AuDHD is actually the normal and those that dont have our natures are the 'divergent' ones .w. Im Autistic and ADHD, it took me over a year to convince my psych to just let me be tested, then i look in my medical file and multiple psychologists listed me as ADHD without anyone telling me... so ya know... since it seems so NORMAL im literally wondering if it isnt the majority standard at this point ._.

[@misinformationwars]

My wife didn't get diagnosed until she was in her 40's and we both knew for many years before that she was. Finding a doctor in America that is willing to diagnose people with autism was extremely hard. I imagine not having healthcare for many years also made it difficult to get the care we need. Even tried to get our children diagnosed when they were young. However we were told repeatedly that the doctors didn't want to give the diagnosis of autistic because it would put a stigma on our children for the rest of their lives. Thank you for your videos.

[@Franimus]

I hate the trend away from labeling. It's stupid. The whole point of labeling a thing is to give us power over that thing.

[@misinformationwars]

@@Franimus Exactly. It was such a relief to my wife to finally get her diagnosis from a psychologist so she could better understand why she felt so different than other people. It's always nice to have an explanation for why you feel the way you do.

[@EroticInferno]

@@Franimusa label is fine if you’re labeling the thing, but people label themselves and suddenly they “aren’t allowed” to deviate from that label. “I have autism” ✅ “I’m autistic” ❌ Regardless of how you are, you can always change parts about yourself, even if it takes decades. That’s the beauty of a long life. All that being said, i lean more away from labels than towards them. I know this because I’m guilty of it, labels were completely destructive to me, especially as a child, because I assumed that that label was me and when I didn’t live up to it I was a failure. Labeling is excellent for adults who can understand that it isn’t who they have to be because they’ve been labeled. They’re freeing. For children? They can be extremely confining and we should avoid them at all costs. It’s the creation of labels that makes people feel like there are differences between people in the first place. If from a young age we can be taught to blind to that and accept all people, it think that creates a better world

[@arceusinsanity301]

There's also the fact that autistic traits are still demonized and/or infantilized regardless of diagnosis. Yes some people see only the label and are willfully ignorant (even if subconsciously). But they are needed to understand that things don't just come from nothing, and often help is needed

[@turtleanton6539]

Indeed

[@fire_aspect_5142]

that article about misdiagnosing girls hits really close to home. i went to the psych ward this year, and bc of channels like this and others knew i was probably autistic. however, the doctors kept telling me i was just really delusional or really depressed or had really bad social anxiety. at one point a psychological evaluation was carried iut in which i filled out nine hundred and fifty questions, then had a day long examination, and at the end of it was told by a doctor there was a very low chance i had autism. i was diagnosed as autistic six months later. i think it's also worth mentioning that im a trans girl; i was constantly misgendered throughout the entire experience, but i must have been feminine enough that they automatically took me less seriously. it was gender affirming in the worst possible way. in my experiences with the dregs of the US youth mental health system, i have met A LOT of people like me. i would estimate around 50-60 percent of feminine people i met were neurodivergent in some way, and nearly all of us had stories like these and much worse. the people affected by this lots of the time weren't even girls: plenty were nonbinary or even boys, but because the doctors all refused to see them as anything but what they initially perceived them as, it wasn't really up to the people affected. our mental health system is DEEPLY fucked up, racist, transphobic, misogynistic; you only need to look into the history of institutional facilities for like five seconds to realize this. it functions as a place to lock up the people society frowns on, a kyriarchal prison for the wild, the useless, the dead; the untameable.

[@user-cw3wm9lx7w]

sad but true. even worse is how you moght not even have accrss to care at all.

[@SilverAceOfSpades]

Ewphoria is a term for when the euphoria is negative but still euphoric

[@DawnDavidson]

@@SilverAceOfSpades😂 love it!

[@hexmo7860]

I'm a trans guy, but my brain still functions kind of feminine, and it's constantly used as an excuse to belittle me.

[@intrusive-th0t]

The misdiagnosing girls thing only really applies to people who are born female. Many transwomen were diagnosed early because they are treated like other males in childhood.

[@user-nw1je1ur6t]

Everyone is so loving and open minded till they run into something weird

[@imautisticnowwhat]

You're so right!!

[@izakiisdead]

Exactly!!

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

"You're too cute to be autistic!" No, you just think some autistic people are cute 😉

[@normanorman]

autistic and sexy. deadly combination

[@julies4088]

When I was in mental hospital after saying to psychologist I'm 99% autistic.(Which was confirmed by my psychologist who worked with autistic people in the past.) She said to me that I can't be autistic because I wasn't diagnosed when I was three. I was dumbfounded. Psychologist said that to me?! In ICD-11 it literally says that it can be discovered later in life especially in females. So I of course printed ICD-11 highlighted so I could show her. I didn't speak to her again as I was transferred. Now after second hospitalization and finally official diagnosis. I just want to walk to her office and show her the paper. Context why I wasn't diagnosed earlier with autism diagnosis you can't legally drive in my country (Czechia) And of course the long wait times

[@Dreykopff]

Really, autists are banned from driving in Czech Rep!?? That sounds so dumb, awful and unhelpful! Out of curiosity, is there more information on that available online in English (or German)? Chances are many countries have comparable laws that we are not aware of... Oh yeah, obligatory bird profile picture noticing edit. I like my birdfriends.

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Can’t legally drive? I’ve been driving for 52 years and am a better driver than most. Things like this really piss me off.

[@julies4088]

@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS i agree sometimes I make joke that autistic people are the best drivers. They follow rules and notice everything.

[@GayToBeHere]

Also sometimes your parents just don't know what's up. My aunt thought I had very unusual traits as a child but she didn't know what autistic traits were, and my mother wasn't much more aware, so obviously I couldn't have been diagnosed. I wasn't seeing a doctor on the regular either.

[@notshardain]

@@GayToBeHere this! My parents didn't notice signs that I was ADHD growing up because... Well, they do the same things and have the same issues as me... because they're both undiagnosed. Neither knew anything about ADHD beyond the "hyperactive 5 or 10 year old boy" stereotype before I had a therapist suggest I could be ADHD when I was in my twenties.

[@dinogrl4102]

"you don't look autistic" okay and you don't look stupid but here we are

[@2hark2ona2elly]

Autistic person: masking so they act normal Neurotypicals: not rlly autistic. They’re too calm. Autistic person: unmasks and acts fun and silly Neurotypicals: THEYRE FAKING MY AUTISTIC THIRD NEPHEW WOULD NEVER

[@R3dAlex19]

This is so real 😭

[@jessl1934]

"I forgot what stimming meant, they just use it for anything" Yeah, because I'm _sure_ this person has actually read up on the literature on stimming and that they're familiar with the work of Winnie Dunn 🙄 Reddit is filled to the brim with armchair experts congratulating each other in the competition to be the biggest smuglord, especially in toxic subs like that one.

[@randomhuman_05]

“They just use it for anything” They’re so close to getting the point and are voluntarily jumping over it😭- stimming CAN be pretty much anything.

[@jessl1934]

@@randomhuman_05 I know a person in a metal band who joked about the crowd headbanging at their shows being "group stimming sessions" and I was like... bruh, that _is_ stimming tho 💀

[@SilverAceOfSpades]

I decided to bring a deck of cards to stim with in class because my fingers running against the tiny ridges between cards feels nice.

[@MsAnpassad]

What I find the most annoying with Internets view on autism, is the idea of that "Autism isn't an excuse for (insert autistic trait)". It's like they think we have a choice and are just lazy to not adapting to societies every illogical rule (which is a bit of an irony, as we are the ones that are supposed to have problems adapting, whilst the neurotypicals are supposed to do that easier, yet we are to squeeze our square selves through societys round holes), yet they never tell a parapalegic that they are so by choice and that they need to stand up. That constant demand on masking is hurting us and are most probably a big contributer to that our lifespan is shorter than neurotypicals. It certainly did cause my heartproblem and my Autistic burnout. We need to mask less and force society to be inclusive of diversive people. Not everything should or can be fixed. Sorry about my rant.

[@Marvin_R]

i don't think there's a need to apologize for your "rant", it's one i've had many times in my head and have shared once or twice myself.

[@joemoeller1442]

I bet “no bullying” was there as a reason to block people who try to defend the disabled people being discussed

[@waitsbian]

THANK YOU for talking about this. i hate that subreddit so much, i've had to block it from my computer because i kept on using it as a source of digital self-harm. even my psychiatrist was like. there's no point in looking at that stuff. internet strangers don't no anything about you.

[@agoodwasteoftime]

i've definitely done the same thing, falling down mental spirals of "digital self harm" by reading posts like this. It's really hard to stop

[@Princess_sarah023]

Same I can relate me too

[@Milo-hp9fw]

I remember writing an acceptance letter to myself about my autism. I had a hard time accepting it and processing it, so I wrote that I was autistic. My school counselor found it, and I specifically told him not to tell my family because I didn't want them to see me any differently. (The school counselor was amazing btw, he was my favorite staff there) Most self diagnosed autistic people are purely self diagnosing to provide accommodations for themselves. It has helped me realize my boundaries and let me set them so I don't burn out. In fact, I don't want people to know because I don't want them to infantalize me. I would also like to add that I self diagnosed with ADHD way before I was officially diagnosed. Most people who are diagnosed later in life self diagnosed before going and getting an official diagnosis.

[@notshardain]

i had to self diagnose ADHD to get evaluated in the first place, because as it turns out, I have a number of disorders that easily mask my ADHD. It was just something none of my doctors were looking for because of my other disorders were more...visible? Like if I did not do research about ADHD and did not advocate for myself, I would not have gotten evaluated for ADHD in the first place.

[@aspennntree]

there’s so much system hate on this subreddit that they have a day where people can’t post system hate

[@heartsforbrenda]

Urghh i know :(

[@Skylarkdevries1267]

I notice a lot of Reddit is ableist against autistic people, and overall toxic in general. Stimming is something so personal, NTs might enjoy the same things we do, but our stims are personally soothing, and calming. For example “watching tv” I chose to watch my favorite tv show in VR so all my senses could be focused on it.

[@thecolorjune]

Oooooh fun

[@margodphd]

I think a lot of the people outraged about "fakers" and "self diagnosis" are actually pissy about feeling forced to be considerate of others. People with actual facitious disorders are seeking sympathy and empathy - being kind and considerate to everyone is the solution,not being excessively rude. There's a buttload of upsides to being overly kind rather than being overly judgemental avoids and people who feel attacked when they are asked to consider other people's feelings are really telling on themselves.

[@lambybunny7173]

Right? Like nobody considers the fact that if these so called fakers exist then they probably have something ELSE going on. People don't usually fake disorders for clout. What they do is use popular phrases that steal from language used by disordered people, like "delusional" and "intrusive thoughts". It's the downplaying, and they don't claim to be psychotic or have OCD or what have you, they usually get offended. That's what we should be focusing on. Non-disordered people co-opting our language and turning it into a joke and then getting grossed out when actually disordered people say something about it. The infighting is stupid. There are bigger problems than an autistic 13 year old on TikTok being an autistic 13 year old on TikTok.

[@princessodonata2729]

I think something important to bear in mind is that fakedisordercringe started at the beginning of the pandemic. I imagine there were numerous people quarantined (aka trapped) with neglectful and/or abusive families. Most of the people targeted by fakedisordercringe were/are young and trying to figure themselves out, find community, or express themselves. Fakedisordercringe targets people already having issues, and then adds to them. But we shouldn't be too surprised, because that's what bullies do.

[@michaelio6548]

20:15 I truly don’t understand why someone would NOT want someone self-diagnosed to visit a professional to confirm whether or not they have the disorder…. feels counterintuitive

[@lanternside_]

as an autistic system that constantly suffers from paranoia that we’re faking, i really appreciate this video. i see a lot of people in SUPPORT of that horrible subreddit, and those videos do nothing but worsen impostor syndrome in people that are struggling with those exact things. They post “fakers” and yet the fakers in question are people just experiencing symptoms of their issues and being judged based on looks, or because they’re “cringe” (which i feel is a stupid word anyway, people should be free to express themselfes however they need to). You just gained a new sub, thank you for bringing some comfort. ❤ (ps, i love bath bombs, you’re totally right!!)

[@saccharinecarousel]

We're an autistic system too and relate HEAVILY. something that has helped us overcome imposter syndrome is remembering that in order to fake something, you have to do it consciously. like, you have to know you're faking in order to actually be faking. and tbh the existence of imposter syndrome basically confirms that one isn't faking as is.

[@lanternside_]

@@saccharinecarousel THIS!! ty for this comment sm

[@MagpieWattle]

I made one, pretty short, comment on a video once, where I mentioned I had autism. Someone then replied "you don't seem autistic" as if one small comment would show them if I was autistic or not. Like, was I supposed to write informally? Write as if I was an idiot, grammatical errors? Did they think people with autism can't type on a keyboard?

[@ninjoshday]

"Doctor, I think I'm blind." "Ugh, you're probably just saying that because you saw it on TikTok. I'm the doctor, I get to decide whether you're blind or not." Same energy.

[@Dogma.Dogmouth]

im transmasc, im waiting to get reevaluated by a better psychologist, because last time this guy diagnosed me BPD and that im “not autistic because i have social skills”… he saw me for 3 days and did IQ and memory tests on me

[@lonely_saturn]

Yikes. Ive been told I have BPD and Im starting to rethink its just bc Im AFAB and emotional

[@Scream_Tail_0985]

Ppl on this subreddit actually don't even care if one is professionally diagnosed or not I'm professionally diagnosed with autism, personally. The ppl on the subreddit called me a faker just because I didn't conform to how they wanted me to act (said I "still acted like a faker") and because they couldn't one thousand percent confirm that I actually had a psychiatrist's opinion. The subreddit doesn't even like you to bring up your diagnosis literally at all. They call it attention seeking under any circumstance.

[@pixel_pixie]

Yeah the point of these subreddits is just to bully ND people they don't like. That's the only proof they need or care about and it's why defending yourself or someone you know who was posted there will get you banned.

[@FunWithColeen]

That subreddit and the videos posted by KZbinrs about are extremely harmful. My friend was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, and they were posted on that Reddit by supposedly another person with that disorder. My friend was horribly harassed, and it was awful. I wish Reddit realized how harmful it is seeing how it perpetuates disorders like autism and DID having to present in a person a certain way.

[@roseydeep4896]

6:43 A little explanation. The commenter didn't actually forget what stimming is, probably. He just said it to mean, "the fakers use the word 'stimming' for almost everything that at this point it feels like it's lost it's original meaning to me"

[@xpouii-3992]

My psych immediately gave me a diagnostic test when I asked about ADHD. She didn’t bully or doubt me. She let the results speak for themselves. The difference I feel on my ADHD meds is unreal.

[@thecolorjune]

My doctor was like “idk, I think you just have anxiety, but if you want to see go ahead” and although rude and wrong he STILL respected me enough to let me get tested. Results: yes of course I have ADHD and Autism. I’d known for years, this was just confirmation.

[@unluckyomens370]

My psychiatrist is a dick so he did still say a few things where I couldnt tell if they were poorly worded or if they were meant to mock me but at least he did the test. Reading comments its wild to me how uncommon it is to find a good psychiatrist like mine asked me what was so traumatic about sexual abuse?? Like pretty much everything what the hell he also called me an idiot for losing track of time and acted like it was something people without adhd just dont do which I feel like is wrong

[@thecolorjune]

@@unluckyomens370 losing track of time is literally something everyone does occasionally 😭 and abuse is the most clear cut cause of trauma imaginable 😵‍💫

[@dark_fire_ice]

My favorite response to people hearing im autistic is "but you seem so smart." Autism and Personality Disorders aren't mental illnesses

[@bridgetking4553]

Aren’t???? I have bpd and disagree as strongly as I can

[@dark_fire_ice]

@@bridgetking4553 I have SzPD, and schizophrenia (along with ADHD and ASD), so no a personality disorder is not a mental illness

[@2008-wii-remote]

1. Why are you implying people with mental illnesses aren’t smart 2. Personality disorders are a wide range of disorders. BPD is a mental illness, others not as you are born with it.

[@higuchistan]

I think what they meant is that they're not mental illnesses, instead they're mental disorders

[@alydavis317]

I have BPD, what's it supposed to be then?

[@yuyukawa9104]

I think claiming strangers are faking disorders on the internet is more harmful than people misdiagnosing themselves. Plenty of people doubt I'm autistic (officially diagnosed) online because I'm extroverted and don't think it's a terrible disability. Nobody irl doubts I'm autistic, I don't go around sharing my diagnosis, but I get asked if I'm autistic, or when I say I'm autistic everyone's like "I knew it". I can't hide how I act irl.

[@MattheBrawler]

Its almost like when the stigma against something gets lessened, though by no means gone, more people are comfortable coming forth with their problems.

[@havenm6181]

I asked my therapist about an Autism diagnosis and she was like "If you get a diagnosis you'll only fixate on it." And it boggles my mind that mental health perfessionals would advocate AGAINST diagnosis

[@SimPilotMika]

I mentioned in a comment that I was autistic. And I got a reply that said “you’re not autistic” thinking I was one of those tiktokers I was diagnosed in early childhood 😂. Couldn’t get any more offical than that

[@eliannafreely5725]

I feel like I only hear so much hate towards self diagnosis from non-autistic communities - and certain moms on Tik Tok that seem to get validation from emphasizing how hard it is to have autistic children. But from people who are diagnosed, I have heard nothing but welcome and love. If autistic people don't have a problem with it, why should anyone else? Well, this channel's community, and others like Orion or Chloe are filled with very kind, very open people. We've got a good corner of the internet, I am glad to be here :)

[@kkuudandere]

that's always the part that confuses me. if professionally diagnosed autistic folks are (generally) pretty welcoming of those of us that are questioning, why do we keep hearing from allistics the most?🤨if they suddenly care about saving "resources" for autistic people so much, how come they don't even LISTEN to them? because they might be surprised at what they learn...

[@tedddybear]

There are definitely parts of the autistic community who get upset about self-diagnosers, but it mainly comes from a place of not having their needs met (in my opinion). Of course it would be upsetting to see people self diagnosing and celebrating it while they are really, really struggling-or that their struggles get dismissed. A lot of the anger comes from a place of hurt, which I understand. Realistically, self diagnosis doesn’t hurt anyone.

[@felixt808]

​@@tedddybear it can even benefit in many cases. fuck, i saw a person here from czechia who said they wouldnt legally be allowed to DRIVE with a diagnosis. where im from, switzerland, if i had gotten a diagnosis (which i ended up technically getting? it was confirmed im autistic but for some reasons too complicated here, never got a diagnosis), i would be forced by my canton's KESB (basically like a child protective services type of thing) to pick up a random apprenticeship that claims it's autism-friendly in like, 7 cantons over, and live with other random autistic teens... which is quite literally the opposite of what id want tbh

[@ev_rlasting]

@@kkuudandere Unfortunately, the goal for allistics was never to "protect" resources for autistic people. They say that, but the true goal is honestly just finding a more socially acceptable way to put us down. That's why nobody listens to the large number of diagnosed autistic people saying "hey self dx can be a massive help". Their confirmation bias makes them seek out the loud minority of us who are against it, and parrot them.

[@badcaseofstripes]

This is the type of rhetoric that causes people to feel too judged and societally bullied to even try and get help at all. It's a means to an end for these people, they clearly want people suffering so they can watch more autistic meltdown videos and point and laugh. Otherwise why wouldn't they be advocating for people actually getting the help they deserve and listening to people when they tell their experience instead of just dismissing it and acting like they're so smart that they caught you in a lie? It's so toxic.

[@charmed6976]

Oh, I feel you. I requested assistance on a forum when my mental illness (Don't want to name it for my own comfort) was putting me in extreme pain and at risk of harming myself. I understand this wasn't the safest place to go, but I essentially went to beg for somebody to talk to and help me through it. Then, somebody screenshotted me having this phsycotic break, posted it on fakedisordercringe, and began to pick apart how this wasn't how the illness worked. They made baseless claims with no sources to back it up. These subreddits come up with ideas on how mental illnesses work and spread them between each other like gospel despite the original source being a "trust me bro" reddit comment. Being made fun of on such a massive scale (it was top post for a while) sent me spiralling again, and I began to fight with these people in the comments. They said all sorts of nasty things like encouraging me to harm myself. These people claim to care about people with "real" mental illnesses and say they just want to counter misinformation, but they aren't nearly educated enough to make these calls and hurt a lot of people in the process. It's really gross. and this experience has singlehandedly make me almost entirely stop seeking out any help during physcotic breaks or telling those close to me that I have this mental illness. I'm terrified of being ridiculed and experiencing derealization again. It was a painful experience for well over a week, and it took months before I got over the bulk of the imposter syndrome. These subs are not harmless. They hurt people and have no idea what they're talking about. Just because they censor names and don't send things directly to people doesn't mean it isn't bullying. I hope they get shut down.

[@notshardain]

I'm so sorry they did that to you, nobody deserves that treatment. It's especially disgusting that they try to frame it as them being virtuous and helpful, all while they're intentionally triggering people into spiraling or self harm or causing other forms of harm. I hope you're doing okay and glad that you're still here

[@charmed6976]

@@notshardain I really appreciate it. It's really gross how they pretend to be the heroes while bullying children

[@TempoTronica]

Autism youtube has helped me in my life considerably. I was diagnosed at the age of 19, but that diagnosis didn't really help me learn more about autism. So we were aware of things like "fidgeting," sensory issues and stuff like that, but the specialists I talked to didn't tell me anything more. They got what they needed, and moved on. And I'm glad people are learning more about autism; relating what they can find online to their own experiences. It's crap that so many psychiatrists keep refusing to give an assessment because tic-tok and eye contact. And it's complete garbage that a diagnosis doesn't really come with education.

[@eliannafreely5725]

Autism youtube has helped me as well. It is youtube that helped me understand stimming as a proactive tool for positivity, not an unwanted problem. They can't educate about what they don't understand. They didn't tell you more because they have no idea what more to tell. And how could they even I guess? Autism has been unseen, misunderstood and masked so much that we don't even really understand ourselves. I don't want to speak for other people, maybe you understand yourself fine, but it seems a lot of us are learning! So it makes sense that this is something we are going to need to do for ourselves. What we need are autists to become doctors that specialize in diagnosing autism.

[@TempoTronica]

@@eliannafreely5725 well said. I would say that my biggest issue with understanding myself is the limitations set by how allistics talk about me. Meltdowns are anger issues, stimming is just me being annoying, me not eating something is just me being fickle, not wanting to be tickled or hugged is just me being unfair, etc. It seems like allistics just want everything to be my "fault." It's a personal me problem I need to fix.

[@eliannafreely5725]

@@TempoTronica I would agree that the biggest obstacle in understanding myself is how allistics reflect me too. I am guessing a lot of us would say that. How can you see what you look like if all the mirrors are fun house mirrors? Most allistics' kneejerk reaction does seem to be to blame us - I especially love being judged for the problems they create! So, yeah, personal responsibility blah, blah, blah, but I don't think it's just a "you problem" ;) It's frustrating.

[@Pvppy_dr3amz]

I was misdiagnosed with autism at 9 and at later I was diagnosed with borderline. I was male so I believe that's why they immediately said "oh autism" when I actually had BPD.

[@Roman-bw2fo]

thank you so much for this video! as a tentative self dx autistic person, it hurts so much to see allistics constantly mock autistic traits and then turn around and say "well thats not REALLY autism", meanwhile they havent even done 5 mins of research. they also refuse to acknowledge the fact that being nonwhite, afab, poor, etc. are HUGE barriers to formal diagnosis its just infuriating

[@jessl1934]

Try not to let it get to you too much. If you observe those people there's an odd cognitive dissonance going on with them - at the same time they see autistic content creators behaving in particular ways that they find completely bizarre or which they disbelieve entirely because what they are seeing doesn't resonate with them as allistics yet they will also gatekeep what is autism based on a very stereotyped notion of autism. So what they're doing is they aren't connecting with autistic experiences, hence why they mock them and disbelieve them, but they are also strictly defining what autistic experiences are as an outsider or basically they're saying "I don't get how that's an autistic trait" and "That's not what autism is" at the same time - you can't have both! One of the reasons why I know I'm autistic (diagnosis aside) is that when I saw the bath bombs I'm immediately thinking "Nope, there's no way I'd be getting into that bath" because it was giving me the sensory ick just thinking about it. And that's before there was any mention of how they smelled, and immediately I'm recalling the horrendous experience of having to breathe in the air in soap shops. Most autistic people are very polarized in their experiences of sensory joy and sensory ick, and that's what is really apparent. Sure, there's some sensory experiences that are almost universally loved and some that are almost universally despised by autistic people but when you put those aside then the rest tend to split autistics down the lines of love or hate without much in between. *Edit:* lol if you sort by new comments and scroll just a few down there are people saying "I don't like bath bombs" and "I hate the lush shop. Too many smells." If that doesn't prove my point...

[@tedddybear]

If this helps you at all, “self diagnosed” was too certain for me (I felt that tentative part too before I was actually diagnosed), so I used “self suspecting” which felt a lot nicer and less overt.

[@andriusbruzas9211]

Self diagnosis is very valid considering that private diagnosis is around £2000 and NHS waiting list is 18 months. Just had my referral meeting and very clearly passed it and now have to wait at least a year and are not allowed to say I am self diagnosed? So dumb. Just to add, ADHD is 36 months average waiting period, crazy.

[@lindseyb2777]

Sadly, I just saw a KZbin video from an autistic content creator about how most Gen z autistics are “faking it”. I spent the next hour overthinking if I’m faking it…before I remembered that my psychiatrist said that I’m probably on the spectrum, but we decided not to test (I want to immigrate to a country that has a longer process for disabled people to acquire visas, so I don’t want a diagnosis on my official files). The amount of bias coming from within our own community is just staggering.

[@megzasaurusrex]

I was talking to someone who was also autistic and this random dude commented on my comment asking if I was actually diagnosed. Then when I told him I was but explained that I think self diagnosis and explained why. He told me that losers just had shit social skills and called themselves autistic to get out of being bad people. I was like umm what's your excuse for being a bad person right now?

[@Arsontapir]

this kinda stuff is so common on reddit( and youtube). Just someone expressing themselves just being reposted into some cringe compilation or subreddit because they appeared on some random redditors feed.

[@mayaevansli8994]

As a part of a DID system, subreddits like these cause so much damage. I wish folks would just realize that best case scenario "oh you were right, a faker. Move on" or worst case scenario you're bullying someone who already likely suffers from self-doubt and hatred

[@allygamer0183]

Oh gosh I remember coming across another subreddit just like this but it was aimed at me people like me who are physically chronically ill and it was horrid. The worst part was if you followed any chronic illness subreddit at all you would it recommended to you no matter what. The fact the entire algorithm was ableist lol. Everyone on the chronic illness and chronic pain subreddits hated it so much and was so frustrated.

[@allygamer0183]

Honestly there's just so much ableism on Reddit you wouldn't even believe it. They ALWAYS have "no bullying" in their rule board and it's so hilarious and ironic. I remember seeing that too and just being confused lol.

[@KatJameson]

I recently took my autistic 9yo to lush and they were SO happy! The workers all talked to them about their tails doll, they let them put in a Santa bath bomb to the demonstration bowl. They asked them what smells they liked and showed them different textures items etc. It was an hour drive to get to the closest lush but they had such a good time. They left just beaming. Getting them to take a bath is difficult and lush has really helped us in that. (we also pretend like they are filming a get ready with me morning routine each morning and that gets them excited about regular hygiene things that can be difficult) bath bombs are so stimmy! And they're such a great tool to help us relax and get calm.

[@missdonutaltaccount1380]

Early! I just found you when your video came out "STOP making autistic kids like christmas" & binged your videos ever since! You are AMAZING, & Autistic people shouldn't be mocked & shamed, & finding out a diagnosis of autism shouldn't be a big deal, like when you say oh i've been diagnosed with autism, everyone freaks out, at least in my experience.

[@naomistarlight6178]

"I like this and I'm autistic and for me doing this is a stim" "OMG everyone likes those, I can't possibly have something in common with an autistic person, ergo you can't really be autistic, faker!"

[@R3dAlex19]

Real. But when you mask: "This person is too normal to be autistic"

[@emikke]

The majority of diagnosis are self-diagnosis, because that's why you go to see a doctor. People who think that there is nothing wrong with themselves don't go to the doctor's office to see if there is anything wrong with them nearly as often as they should (that's a health check up).

[@SadisticSenpai61]

One of my doctors didn't want to even consider that I might have ADHD. And she was all "I'm not going to prescribe you meds for it without a formal diagnosis" (which she wouldn't give me a referral for). So I talked to my therapist about it and he helped me contact someone else for a formal diagnosis. And I suspect he might have had some harsh words for her as she was very apologetic the next time I saw her. Edit: Yeah, that was actually her thing. She claimed I made eye contact. I didn't though. I stared at her eyebrows. It's a trick I learned when I was a kid - ppl can't tell you aren't actually looking them in the eyes.

[@SleepyMeeow]

i always look at the nose or mouth! its close enough that people think we are making eye contact lol

[@MorriganJade]

Imagine that I gained so much stress that I gained what's called "autistic seizures". They're harmless in the sense that they're just "somatic shaking off excess stress"... but to the third person perspective, looks scary. Despite being completely lucid and aware of what's happening. You can just imagine that, just because it's nothing damaging and nothing like seizures people know about... they mock you for faking having twitches and seizures from excess stress...

[@turtleanton6539]

This is exactly what I got

[@MochaTune]

Finally, a place where someone talks about ableism. Please keep it up I’m begging you

[@sophiesmith5752]

lol, here is a new reason why someone cannot be autistic, which my new doctor told me recently: “because you’re 27 years old”. Me, with an official diagnosis and my ND therapist - he was not the one who assessed me initially but is certain I am autistic af: 🗿

[@turtleanton6539]

😊😅

[@frigginsane]

I was misdiagnosed as Schizophrenic when I was 17 in 1994. I met schizophrenics I didnt feel I related to. I asked for a re-evaluation. I was re-diagnosed as Aspergers Syndrome after a half a year of weekly appointments of tests.

[@miiasutherland852]

My dad had the same "mental health is all a lie" approach. "nothing is wrong w you, act right" was a common phrase. Well, now I'm a 38 year old trans woman w AuDHD. Because of how I process information, I took my parents' word as truth. Not understand that parents can lie to push their agenda (thought this way to my late teens). If i had been allowed to self diagnose as a child, i likely would have suffered less trauma (both from the world and self inflicted). I now take this approach w my 2 daughters. They are 100% able to explore who they are, medically, mentally, and expressivly. I find it sad that so much of society is more concerned about what others "might be doing differently", that they dont focus on bettering society as a whole. Sorry for the rant. P. S. I did finally get a medical diagnosis for all of the above. - cheers

[@emikke]

I think that the most people I know who are annoyed by people who are autistic are not only narrow minded but they are also really weird 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@theunicornsys]

Just started the video but I wanted to put my story in here with this subreddit. One of my now exfriends was posted on r/fakedisordercringe without their permission for "faking Dissociative Identity Disorder" (they aren't faking, lol). Once I found this out I defended them in the comments of the post, because the OP were chanting that fictives (fictional characters forming as alters, for those who aren't aware of the term) are a telltale sign that someone is faking DID - which is very untrue. Some systems have fictives, some don't, both are valid and real. I then got banned from r/fakedisordercringe for defending the person good riddance honestly I don't wanna be there