Autism V ADHD (Anxiety & Demand Avoidance)

[@jimwilliams3816]

Oh, my gosh, I LOVE it! Anxiety is indeed the member of the group that sides with autism some of the time, demand avoidance some of the time and ADHD some of the time. Everybody's ally and nobody's friend. That's astonishingly profound for a KZbin short.

[@nicnic1190]

Agreed

[@Plethorality]

Very nicely summarised. Thank you.

[@Prudenthermit]

❤ ty for summing it up so eloquently

[@samanthasunshine8085]

Everybody's ally and nobody's friend! This is perfect.

[@MilluMArt]

This comment needs to be pinned

[@wendyheaton1439]

Love it... I make a list each day but give myself permission to do the tasks in any order. I also leave blank spaces on my list for rebellion time. I can then rebel whenever I need to! But then I sometimes add what I did in my rebel time to appease the autism pretending I planned it all along! 😂

[@adinimal]

Daily rebel, I love it! 😅

[@neon_family1]

That's a great idea I might try it for my daughter

[@rdklkje13]

Brilliant!

[@sarahroberts7374]

I always plan for my plan to go off plan 😂

[@annaparke414]

I love this

[@SuperPrettyPink101]

Yep that about sums it up. Need to be in control, hate the pressure of deciding Need familiarity and routine, get bored easily Have so many things I want to do, can't get myself to actually do anything 🙃

[@pure_Chaos89]

that sums up my life pretty good ^^"

[@vasirae8804]

....aaaaand cue the all-too-familiar torrent of panic and self-loathing, whose only effective treatment seems to be found in unhealthy indulgences while putting off the important and the inevitable.

[@electron2601]

This is a clever short explaining how Autism, ADHD, ODD, and anxiety effects us in typical day to day situations!

[@danielaruhl1710]

„No to the schedule and no to spontaneous fun.“ You nailed it Ella! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Loulizabeth]

Love this, and I love River Songs Tardis note book.

[@jimwilliams3816]

I missed that!! Thanks for pointing it out...

[@MDiL22]

My life has started making so much sense. I am finally decided on getting my official diagnosis. Thank you for the content you put out!

[@danielaruhl1710]

After 48 years of not knowing what was going on and more than 1 year of online research and figuring out how to get diagnosed as an aduld (which means even more waiting time), I am „suddenly“ having both my assessments for ADHD and Autism THIS month … I‘m freaking out! 😂

[@heathertoomey7068]

​@@danielaruhl1710How did it go?

[@danielaruhl1710]

@@heathertoomey7068 Thanks for asking: got the ADHD diagnosis (even from 2 different psychologists) and while the one testing me on autism decided I could not be autistic after talking to me less than 2 hours I am still waiting for another assessment. Meanwhile my daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD and is getting tested on autism …

[@cameronschyuder9034]

@@danielaruhl1710this kind of shit is why I aim to find someone who specializes in adult and/or high masking autism because even getting people see that I had/have ADHD was a struggle because my hyperactivity was internal/in my head (inattentive variant) so it doesn’t match the physically restless stereotype. And my ADHD (at least before Vyvanse) was much more obvious than my suspected autistic trait. Only when I started medication and somehow was doing worse did I kind of like, looked at the parts of my life in childhood I had conveniently suppressed because it was Not A Great Time^TM, and was like, hey, wait a second… Another element is taking the assessments and their questions very literally (irony much?? They couldn’t make autism questionnaires more clear like 😭) so if I didn’t meet the exact wording then i would say I did not have that trait. Had to learn how to “act normal” for survival’s sake (childhood aboose). And a lot of the insults/things my parents said that would have pointed to autism, weren’t in English so there was that extra step where I could not immediately say that that’s relatable because it was said in a different language than the questions I’m being asked Of course, i would only get the assessment to fulfill curiosity, as hopefully by the time a legit assessment is accessible for me, i would already be at a stable place in life where i have found my system to get through with the least discomfort as possible. If I need disability accommodations for work, i can show my ADHD diagnosis

[@splabbity]

I love how the video looping continues to make sense.

[@georginashanti4605]

Unbelievable, such a great way to explain the concepts and challenges/conflicts in a minute or so. Thank you. 💛

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

And this is why I spend most of my time at home, reading, scrolling, or blasting headphone music 😅

[@Savvy1718]

Oh my God I feel like this has been me the last year almost straight through. I'm in my last year of grad school, only learning about my diagnoses the last few years, and the burnout is reeeealll. I want to pick a fight with demand avoidance specifically so bad lol

[@amorynora319]

I agree sometimes I find the best way to cope is to just do the demand right away and move on otherwise it's just torture

[@alexandriahall2843]

THE TARDIS JOURNAL.. THIS SKIT... IT KNOWS ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT 😭😭😭

[@caspenchaos]

So relatable, got all these guys squabbling in my head too. Love the tardis book, too!

[@hispoiema]

I think I can safely say that you make some of the best shorts that can be found on KZbin. They’re profound and funny at the same time. Not everyone can do that. ♥️

[@AJB_twoleftwings]

Mood I feel that so hard. Next step is dissociation stepping in and lulling all the others into some weird trance except anxiety for three hours

[@hyperfocus1963]

Wow this is frighteningly accurate 😅

[@WildwoodVagabond]

My everyday life summed up in a KZbin short

[@nellieshoals]

I relate to this and would summarize that There is a war within yourself around control. The control based trauma either needs healed and or the parts involved in this all need a compromise, and needs need to be met for the various parts within the system.

[@hello19638]

Finally someone understands and get this! Love these! Thanks Ella! I so can relate.

[@theageofgoddess]

Some of us have both, I've learned to just live one day at a time & go with the flow, lol...

[@Loulizabeth]

So is this "Inside Out" done for someone with both Autism and ADHD? That's great!

[@ryanmackenzie6109]

​@@LoulizabethBonus points if you throw OCD in there who's hyping up Autism and Anxiety in the WORST ways 😅

[@Ash_beep]

I’ve probably spent half my life “just sitting here freaking out” 😅

[@Astharia]

I'd rather feel free and not get anything done because I don't have a schedule than feeling bad about myself and like a failure because I can't follow my schedule and it makes me miserable. I usually brain dumb a list in the morning to relieve anxiety and then forget about it. Unless one important thing needs to really be done and I only focus on that

[@heathertoomey7068]

Good strategy. I'm taking mental notes. Though the idea of pre-meditated abandonment of the schedule is scaring my brain.

[@Tlaloc89]

This is tremendously helpful! I have ADHD, PDA, anx, RSI and some sensory stuff. I also work in a helping and advocacy capacity with a wide range of ND folks. Most of the people I work with have very good use of language and thus family, school, and work put demands on them which are often pragmatic or well intended, but **extremely unhelpful**. I teach about these things but in a single YT short you've tied them together in a way that is validating and relatable. I'll be sending you new subs ASAP 😊

[@HannahRainbow88]

A "pick n mix" to do list is better than an exact schedule 😎

[@wickjezek5093]

This. Having my best friend around following his schedule to help me is super helpful. Body doubling is one of the best tools I've found for demand avoidance!

[@user-wi3ii7nx5v]

I have autism, ADHD and anxiety and i feel all of these.

[@nattie911]

"we're just going to sit here frwaking out"... Relatable 🙈

[@ravensong7128]

That’s actually what happened to me early and then I just gave up and now I’m watching KZbin. 😂

[@wingedwheelerth3107]

I absolutely love when you do these videos with every part of me. The other one when you had a day off and decided to go get something to eat is one of my favorite videos ever, now so is this one. These perfectly describe every minute of my life.

[@peanutbutterjellyfish]

Why is this so relatable im gonna cry

[@gamersbyknight9515]

I haven't heard of demand avoidance before, and having the result of having all 4 of these issues spelled out to me made me realize that is exactly what I have been doing the past week. I started crying because it was the first time in a while that something made sense about why I act the way I do.

[@sewaller1384]

You just described my entire existence. I have a desperate need for a schedule in which I become very rigid but struggle to maintain it for longer than a week or two due to ADHD. All of this leads to anxiety and constant dysregulation. I am better at achieving this when I don’t have to consider others needs but I am a mother of two school aged kids and a spouse so……

[@FMAeva]

Yeah, I had to figure out a schedule not too confining, sort of like a "passive schedule". I'm going to put the disinfectant on the desk, but without deciding when to use it or using good smells to reinforce the action (because it's always dirty here, no matter how much I try to clean my room, I see lots of annoying imperfections that bum me out). Or I have to exercise at least half an hour, but maybe not, and I'm going to watch netflix while I'm doing it. And above all, I had to look for the inner child that feels inadequate and ashamed at every step along the way, and the angry one trying to ignore it and force it through. I can't thank the Internal Family System enough for this.

[@Springy_Cant_Stop]

Autism is incredibly relatable. I sorta panic a bit when things don’t really go my way.

[@kawag6356]

I want to thank you so much!!! Learning about being Autistic and having ADHD is mind blowing.

[@RCola1217]

I am starting a journey towards realizing I probably have both ADHD and Autism. The internal conflict, along with anxiety is just making so much sense. I have already been diagnosed with ADHD, but it didn't explain my issues with food textures, temperature, the feeling of my clothes bothering me, how I have emotional melt downs, especially when plans dont go right, and it makes me feel like a child with my level.of control. But when the constant pull between craving and needing routine, but also despising it at the same time because it leaves no room for dopamine chasing, is nuts. It feels like my head is constantly waring with me demanding me to try new things and have fun, and the other half wants me to stay in and stick to what I know and be calm. The Autism needs calm, and the ADHD craves far more chaos. Your brain literally needs the extremes, and so balance insuppose becomes more essential than your average person, but also far more difficult to come by. This is crazy 🤦‍♀️.

[@theMan_fromUnder]

Omg this is literally EXACTLY what’s happening in my head every day-

[@suno186]

so true, I have adhd and I cannot follow a schedule, my brain just won't let me. I still end up getting a lot of work done usually but it's because I spontaneously decide to work on stuff at random, I almost never plan stuff out, especially things I don't wanna do.

[@kirstinhagglund8788]

This was how I organized myself every morning when I was working as an international consultant❤

[@BenDavidin5784]

i fight demand avoidance by doing planned/necessary things "spontaneously" and skipping steps if possible lol like i try and trick my brain by doing something else and not thinking about the thing and then popping up and starting the thing if I have energy

[@NeonFixLLC]

You hit the nail on the head 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏🏾! Your so dope!

[@somethingbambi875]

Wheel of names on google is my life now. It has been working for one year now. Lists didn't work so long but spinning a wheel is perfect 😂

[@nicnic1190]

So glad I'm not alone

[@haylielivingston]

Has someone who definitely has all of these I can confirm this is how it goes down in my head

[@heathertoomey7068]

Didn't think I had demand avoidance problems until this video. You literally described my feelings basically exactly how I say them in my mind, so much so that I was nodding voraciously, as if to say to the others, "Yeah, I agree with her," with EVERY LINE, only to realize I agreed with all of them, even when they contradict, question my sanity, and conclude I agreed with them all anyway. Watched it a second time, did the same thing, and still surprised by the involuntary nodding!! Also, love the notebook! Is it common for AuDHD to like DW?

[@creative_carrie]

Ooof, I'm not diagnosed with either, but i feel it deeply. Currently fighting to get assessed for autism

[@glaticroleplay3549]

I have both, and my solution is I have times where I do certain things. I can choose what I do, but I do certain things during that time each day. If I go outside, for instance to Walmart or something. I try and make it to where I can leave around 3:30 and be back home by around 5. Instead of having set tasks at randomly planned times, I have a set time that I do anything that falls into the needed category. I don't get stressed this way.

[@catherineliam1144]

As an adult with ASD & ADHD I appreciate this content😅 I am a walking contradiction🙈

[@jackskydragon_JW]

Oh my god, you resumed my seemingly eternal inner cycle of inner voices 😂😅🤣😓😭😥😅🤣😆

[@AmnRavenloft]

Another AuDHD creator/coach explained that she creates special lists for routines. One ideal routine version when youre highly motivated and you have the energy One version of the routine for your average days. And a final version of the routine for your low energy/motivation days that still takes care of the necessary bits of self care like fueling your body. The structure of having an available routine at any given moment helps regulate the Autistic part of her brain. The flexibility to choose which routine to do helps regulate the ADHD part of her brain.

[@Mandrake_root]

Yep I've left schedules behind, I cant follow them 😭 sometimes I open google sheets and see the schedule I made during my freshman year of college. Had it down to the minute. Nowadays I have fewer responsibilities and a medication that gives me enough focus to keep on top of the things I DO have to take care of without needing a planner.

[@Mandrake_root]

Sometimes I say to myself "how did I get through college like this?!?" The answer is I didn't lmao. By my junior year I'd get behind in classes within the first two weeks and failed a bunch. Right now I'm taking a single class at a time to graduate. I can't handle more than that now.

[@jasonpinson8755]

good lesson.thank you.

[@Suvi-Haiti]

Bro just explained my every day

[@pvp6077]

Just found out about demand avoidance last week, everyone's been telling me it's ODD up till now and finally things are starting to line up. I've been doing all the wrong things to try to get myself functional

[@andreagriffiths3512]

This is why I’ve been off all day. I had three tasks to do today and I was going to do them and feel good. But life hit me with 2 loads of unexpected by very very necessary washing, two unexpected trips to stores, another unexpected cooking task that I was told I did all wrong and then a disastrous evening taking my niece to her swim class. I got none of my slated jobs done and now I’m having rum because why the hell not? (The bottles been open since 2021).

[@howlrmonky8845]

This is exactly how my brain works ASD is what I am diagnosed with and I will be getting a ADHD assessment as Requested by my psychologist.

[@MirA12334]

I have autism and adhd. So almost every day i just feel stuck in this loop. And its horrible. But i foudn some tricks to cope with it. Before i thought i was just depressed but nothing was working but now i can actually be "more" productive o.O thats an improvement to me

[@KidNamedBlue_]

Truly one of the worst combos. It's like my brain is constantly at war with itself because half of it needs the structure and is crying in the corner while the other half runs around doing anything and everything except the things I need to do

[@3ggn0g]

Sorry I couldn’t focus on the rest of the video your notebook is so cool I love it

[@hobbybugs1286]

I have autism and adhd this pretty much sums it up

[@Cherryheartkisses]

Sounds about right. I feel validated

[@Hi_Im_Akward]

I can't so schedules. What usually works is having an order of operations. Usually I get overwhelmed because idk where to start. Once I get going it's not that big of a deal and I can change order.

[@enyayatsentuok7746]

SOOO MEE ! OMG 😭😂😅 I officially diagnosed adhd and anxiety (actually, I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago), and I think I might be autistic as well

[@shyryTsr2k]

Diagnosed with both Anxiety and ADHD and I can confirm that the amount of things I procrastinate on makes me extremely anxious because I know I should do one thing but then I see 1,000 other things I could do and I end up having anxiety attacks😅😢

[@amorynora319]

I wish I knew how to cope with demand avoidance, it would be much easier

[@vanillaofesk]

This is basically my brain on a regular basis.

[@ByrdieFae]

Welp! ADHD and PDA win yet again.

[@aikoaikoaikoaikoaikoaiko]

lol my mom sometimes makes schedules for me since i forget everything but i either get overwhelmed by the amount on the list or i forget about its existence……………

[@Ryan78336]

For me schedules are more vague and more to do listy’ and like a promise I make to myself. It matters to me in so far as this is what I said I’d do, therefore it’s important that I show up and at least try to get it done. It’s flexible like that. And I’m neurodivergent. Schedules are like this is what I want out of today. This is the bare minimum. Show up for that, and I’m happy.

[@Goalto150]

I have ADHD and we were at winter camp a copl weks ago and we had to SIT DOWN for an HOUR (mind you I didn’t have anything like to fidget with) and I was so overwhelmed I was telling my Frend who idk if she knows if I have ADHD but she’s very understanding and I think she’s the only one who would understand that I felt so uncomfortable

[@markigirl2757]

This is me but adhd always bullies and gaslights the anxiety and autistic side of myself to do it anways then I have meltdowns and shut downs soon after 😅

[@Idiot337]

Why do people online know me better than I know myself now

[@clwilliams9276]

Me, someone with autism, adhd, anxiety, SAD, a mood disorder, and physical disabilities: sitting in bed, watching this, my morning meds beside me even tho it's 2 pm, steam open on my laptop waiting for me to decide what I'm doing, my stomach getting angry cuz I haven't eaten n can't eat til i've taken my meds.

[@Lilian040210]

I mostly just feel like there's a boot on my neck pressing me into the ground if I even think about doin something. Don't know if I don't have all this or just don't notice it, but it mostly just being choked from even a thought of doing stuff. Left alone like, planning or doing stuff

[@Eryniell]

"I want everything to be planned out!*writes everything into calendar in excessive detail*" "I also feel claustrophobic of having to follow timed plans!" -it helps to make plans that are time independent but there are many cases where that isn't possible and then I'm getting anxious of not having a fixed enough plan again and things being unpredictable ....AAAHHHHHHHH!!!

[@randomaccessmemories8912]

this is disgustingly accurate

[@A_Pink_Fish]

Me at 2am planning tomorrow’s day: Honestly though my solution to this is to block out at least 30 minutes a day 1 hour before or after lunch to do whatever I feel like doing. I stick to me schedule the rest of the day and when I have something I wanna do I save it for my “block out”

[@HannahRainbow88]

LOVING the TARDIS notebook 😍

[@PatientPerspective]

You know how many "schedules," plans, to dos, I've created!

[@nostalghost2]

i have severe adhd but i’m starting to believe i have autism as well and i just struggle a lot with doing anything.. it just seems so hard and i just seem lazy but it’s all so overwhelming and i’m depressed but i think it’s autistic burnout i just can’t take all of the stress anymore i just want to stop and be able to do what i want. i think i have autism because of the sensory parts and also i do like things a particular way but i also am too overwhelmed to care

[@leavemealone802]

Oh man, that is so me... i love to plan each they of the week, but the idea of following the schedule makes me freak out a bit and i start to procrastinate. What helps, is plan what i want to do in every 2 weeks in a list and doing the list in no particular order. I am starting to think i might have autism, because I like to follow the plan, but much ADHD dont like to be forced to do stuff and not follow the flow, but at the same time if i dont complete the plan i get irritated and start hating myself and the world.

[@Naomi_best_]

Funny. For myself, when i leave the house to do most anything, i usually (at least rpughly) plan out eveything about it (Whenever i change locations and when i'll return/get anywhere and what i plan to do there) But alsooooo... 😅 i only ever get sudden bursts of enthusiasm to spontaniousy go out and do something, staying inside then gives me great fomo and sadness... And leaving without planning gives me huge anxiety. So basically when i come up with a plan i have to map and plan eveything out as fast as i humany can (also with a lot of stress and frustration if it doesn't end up working) while still adhering to very spontaneous time schedules. (Basically, i wanna go out NOW. what do i need? Where do i go? Leaving in 30 minutes) 😅 it's always kinda a anxious ordeal, but better than staying inside always i guess.

[@ElloryTheCelery]

I have adhd (diagnosed), but I always plan things 20 steps ahead, sometimes when I’m super hyped I make spontaneous decisions (that turn out horribly) but I mostly stick to the plan and carefully plot out what I’ll say/do. I guess you could say I’m an introvert/Ambivert-ADHD person haha! Any others that relate to me?

[@MsTachke]

I have both so I' m always in duality.

[@kittipotatoart3420]

This is why I tell myself what my main goal for the next day will be and I pump myself up super hard so I don't get out of an important task. It sometimes works. 😅

[@maggpiprime954]

I love that book! 😍🤩💙

[@Crude.Critter]

This is too personal 😭

[@daisyhynes-zf1kq]

I feelpersonally called out.

[@flar7137]

The conflicting things in my brain suck so much. Like my brain wants it's cake and to eat it too. And when it doesn't get what it wants it makes me anxious, or even depressed. Fml

[@helendunn9905]

Most days I just try to get one thing done. Which is usually more than yesterday. Or I'm asleep all day anyway because I have Chronic Fatigue with ADHD, quiet BPD, depression and anxiety. Blah!

[@OGBluberry]

This is just my whole brain all at once

[@mw9884]

This is exactly how I feel today

[@emmawaghorn9374]

And that’s a wrap….. spot on

[@saralee4thewin]

Love the tardis note book.

[@jackiemartin7276]

So relatable!

[@cramp4221]

Nailed it. Lol thx for the skit

[@kalieris]

Extremely accurate.

[@Rydrake6]

This fills me with rage because it's accurate

[@NeonFixLLC]

“Looks like it “😭😭😭😭😂😂😂