The Good, The Bad and the Autistic

[@kakkipeter3724]

That intro scene with the fidget spinner was pretty cool

[@EcoHamletsUK]

I was having a discussion with a few NTs the other day, and suggested that there was a lot of neurological diversity between them too. They're not exactly clones of each other, or the Borg! One man in his mid forties then said that he'd recently been surprised to discover that there are people who see a picture in their mind when they imagine something, which he doesn't. I wonder how many NTs know that what goes on inside other NT's brains might be very different to what's going on in theirs. It doesn't seem that they discuss these things like us ND people do. Maybe we should start asking them some questions about how they think, that they've probably never considered, and see how much diversity there is in response! It might shock some of them into realising that diversity is normal!

[@raraavis7782]

Yeah. It's called Aphanthasia. I have it, too. And you're correct, it's a form of not being quite NT, despite being otherwise NT, you can be blithely unaware off. I was, till in my 40's. When I heard it described for the first time, I literally went: 'What do you mean, other people literally *see* pictures in their head?? I thought, that was just a figure of speech all my life!''.

[@mindsless]

​@raraavis7782 Wow. I've grasped the idea that people may not have an internal dialogue or are more "unimaginative," but I've never considered that there are people who can not conceptualize via mental imagery. Thanks for sharing!

[@almostahippie]

@@raraavis7782and I was the one who thought everyone sees pictures in their head! And movies too! Although a bit hazy here and there but I can imagine something that I have seen before in 5D! I can see it, feel it, taste and smell it as if it’s right in front of me. But that is not the case if you describe something I haven’t experienced/seen before. It’s one of the reasons I don’t enjoy reading scifi books.

[@augiegirl1]

Great Star Trek reference!

[@G5rry]

I love the laid-back teatime. And if it's requires less effort to produce, that's a good-good thing, too :)

[@JackPinesBlacksmithing]

My good bad news came last week when I was laid off due to my inability, without accommodation, to be successful in my role. I was stressed out at that role, added to by my father facing the end of his life and my spending some priceless time with him. That they afforded me that time, but couldn't provide the documentation of processes I was to become responsible for, was a mixed blessing. Now, I get to leave that stress behind to seek a new role, a bit wiser for the experience.

[@IrethAmandil]

Thank you Quinn, I hope you can reach people that I can't. I've tried for so many years to get along and explain myself, and I'm tired of being mocked, bullied, completely mistranslated, and patronized in return. I never set out to hurt anyone, but their feelings are so delicate and they don't stop to think about...anything. They just run on impulse. Even if they come back later and say "hey, it took me a while but I understand where you're coming from, here's where I was coming from..." and then I can understand THEM better and we can learn to accept each other's differences and work together I'd be thrilled! I could show them I really was trying to understand them but my way of thinking is just different from theirs.I'd love nothing more than that, but they're intent on painting me as malicious for some reason and I'm tired. I find I get along better with people who are happy enough with their own lives that they don't have to hate mine, so I'm going to focus more on finding those people and less on trying to get along with everyone I come across. US social climate right now too is just...awful.

[@p1body723]

People who enjoy their lives are really the most accepting. The traumatized neurodivergent folks dont have the capacity to accommodate even when we have the same problems and could help each other. Its really sad that people only find ways to hate not to connect

[@serenitygoodwyn]

You absolutely can't reach everyone, and you will literally drive yourself insane trying. I think we tend to believe, if I could just explain myself better etc, but it really doesn't work that way. In some ways we adapt quicker, if someone gives us actual evidence or a rational explanation that makes sense we change our mind, because that is what we value. However, for many neurotypical folks they make decisions based on emotion, so unless you can change the emotion, no amount of rational explanation will make a difference. We're not good at appealing to emotion, that's not where our strength lies. It's also much harder to change an emotion when the person experiencing that emotion has their personality tied up in feeling that way (which they often do, especially about religion, politics etc). Asking them to feel differently, is like asking them to change who they are, and that is very painful and far more difficult than changing an opinion, which is all we have to do in a similar situation. Its even worse if they are unhappy, as their reticular activating system (RAS) in their brain will filter stimulus/information so that only information that agrees with their world view will get into their consciousness (we all have this, that's why when you buy something new, you suddenly start seeing it everywhere). The RAS isn't interested in making you happy, only keeping you alive. They are still alive, so it's working, so it keeps only letting in information that confirms their unhappy world view, as that is what has kept them alive so far. You can't change that with reason or explanation, its far more fundamental than that. We're also not immune to this problem, it's just impossible to see it in ourselves because we don't know what we don't know, and we don't know it, because the RAS is doing it's job well. For example, I tend to be very aware of certain types of unpleasant people (I was brought up by two), sometimes if feels like they are everywhere, because that is what my RAS focuses on, because being aware of that type of person and what they are doing has kept me alive. It's taken a lot of therapy to become aware of my issue in this regard, but now I can stop and really pay attention and I realise that there are far more decent people around than narcissistic a-holes, but those people don't hit my conscious awareness so much because I don't need to be aware of them to stay safe. Be compassionate to those people, understand that the traits they have that make your life difficult also makes their life difficult. That doesn't mean excuse their behaviour or tolerate it, still walk away and take care of yourself, but understanding can make the situation less frustrating.

[@kyleethekelt]

I have always had a yellow alert on anyone who deliberately simplifies. It is the complexity and nuance which always fascinates me. I understand your good/bad news completely. However, if I tried to point out the good within the bad, or vice versa, I'd be accused of being unempathetic so I usually stay silent. Similarly, I like to ask people who make statements, particularly if they dont' immediately make sense to me or are questionable in some way, but they immediately assume I disagree with them and fall back on their right to have an opinion - which of course they do, only I expect them to have at least thought about why they have said what they did. Unfortunately they seldom have or do. Wonderfully thought-provoking work as usual.

[@kathybramley5609]

Deliberately simplified decisions I think of as stress responses. Fight, flight, fawn etc and which way to go are deliberately simplified responses: part of a numbers game. And there's a lot of talk about stress generally in life. Whether it's a warzone or corporate space or the internet or family. And of course those boundaries are blurry in a variety of ways now.

[@arab6745]

I guess these are the struggles of people who acknowledge the consciousness of everyone they talk to, which is the right thing, I think. I've resorted to marking people who miss nuance or avoid the details as "stupid" or completely invalidated their consciousness by seeing them as "NPCs", which now I'm realizing wasn't healthy, and incorrectly drove my ego higher. It's a bad coping mechanism that I've developed to keep my sanity (which I'm trying to correct). It's not easy to exist in a world that constantly reminds you that you're different, that you can't easily have a mutual, pleasant sharing of thoughts. I've learned to keep my thoughts to myself to avoid negative interactions, except with those very few close friends, but it's isolating and makes me feel lonely.

[@lesliegann2737]

@@arab6745 I hear you. It is something I have to watch in myself as well.

[@robokill387]

@@arab6745 Why not, the vast majority of people on this planet don't think things through at all.

[@MsArrika]

​@@robokill387heavy emphasis on VAST.

[@tabularasa0606]

I'm having a hard time finding the bad in this good video.

[@keirapendragon5486]

The bad is the reason the video was needed in the first place - ie, ppl being buttheads.

[@kate_vye810]

I see it, I see it. There was some “anger” or intense emotions that can be felt either overwhelming for autistic folks OR agressive for neurotypical. I think we can both agree that those emotions can be scary lol. Anyways, the bad in that good is definitely that peoples may not swallow the “political” speech he did :’) Autistimatic for president tho, please ^-^

[@randomuser5443]

The bad is the clickbait. I was promised bad not good and blessed information

[@keirapendragon5486]

@@randomuser5443 🤣💕

[@rogerfinney2811]

You've nailed it with the "it's hard not to smug" (heh) and it's something I've tried to impart when my fellow younger "nerds" would get angry, frustrated, or bitter at so many "illogical" people. It's the same conclusion you come to here about "the human race": the reason normies are normies is that we evolved to be that way, and that the specific features of being "average" were clearly somehow beneficial to our species. (Fellow supernerds can go digging into anthropology for lots of evidence.) It's also necessary for a species to have some percentage of individuals who are non-average (insert here side tangent about how most people vastly misunderstand evolution). Unfortunately for us non-averages, that can be a little hard sometimes, alas.

[@jjskn93]

Even the military has "specialist".

[@LiftPizzas]

I think an ND skill is compartmentalization. Slicing off this bit to evaluate it upon its own merit, then another bit separately, etc. People who don't get that seem to misunderstand it and paint those who can do it as unfeeling monsters. It's not that I don't feel, it's that I am not a helpless victim of my feelings. Emotions exist to serve me, not the other way around. Also I've noticed that people only feel one emotion at a time. Like if you fall down the steps and get hurt, it's not funny (to them) because humor and misfortune (especially their own) are mutually exclusive. For me, it's like oww LOL, that is hilarious and painful and let's laugh all the way to the emergency room. I have some ND friends who are the same with this ability to have multiple emotions simultaneously.

[@nataphillipaworld]

😮❤

[@AuntyProton]

You're a better person than I am, I see little point in dealing with NTs at all beyond bare minimum. Why should I waste my energies trying to appeal to people who never want me as I am?

[@robokill387]

See, that's why autistic people get taken advantage of, they keep giving the benefit of the doubt to people who don't care about autistic people and would get rid of us in a heartbeat if they could. It's dangerous to try and "both sides" this issue as if it's some kind of beneficial relationship. In several European countries, they will literally euthenise s**cidal autistic and learning disabled people instead of providing support, and they're trying to bring that to the UK now too.

[@aborigine3716]

I understand you so much. Sometimes I think if makibg a paralell autistic society. But then again: NTs have traits useful for us, as we have for them. And the only actual problem after all is hearing. I our case - making them hear us. But the idea of a society independant from neurotypicals still stands 😅

[@ar.a5393]

👏

[@gusgarrison9211]

I've been accused of thinking in black or white, and "thinking too hard" about anything "grey". Where I'm standing, the world _is_ black and white, and anything grey is a detailed cross-stitch. Anytime I express this to a NT, though, I get told I'm wrong for it.

[@morganpauls1873]

yes this! except in patterns evil vs good in information is way way way more complicated than people think things get hard when black and white are both each other and then as like each other are like how they are like each other it makes black and white as such almost akin to grey and makes grey even more complicated to figure out

[@autiejedi5857]

Agreed! Science, technology, genetics, ecology, art, etc. all tell us that diversity is key to the health and smooth working of all these systems. Thanks Quinn 💜

[@kathybramley5609]

I think society is too based on adrenal thinking. People are like this, being against nuance, with jokes too. When I respond to a joke with a tangent or critique, or even semi serious riffing onwards they can't accept it as a valid response and come for me even on others' behalf.

[@LiftPizzas]

Glad to see you address the fact that we all benefit from our diversity. So many people are stuck on this false dichotomy of "we must be either friends or enemies." It's entirely possible for two good people to be incompatible with each other, in fact it's very common. We can just be out of each others' way, be completely civil when we must interact, not waste our energy trying to bring each other down, cooperate, and even help the other person when they need it. It's like parallel play for adults.

[@ar.a5393]

Competitive emotional thinking without reason cannot grasp this...

[@ktaylor1755]

I’m so glad to see you are progressing-heck of a balancing act!

[@mudotter]

That intro was priceless, thank you for a good chuckle. I have always thought of my tendency to see both sides as inadvertently being the Devil's Advocate. I have an ex-husband who would get very angry that I seemingly had two simultaneous world views. Not knowing about autism my explanation was that my emotional intelligence could hold one view, while my practical mind could hold another, opposite worldview. More recently I heard that it has something to do with hereditary cultural norms. Some cultures developed a dualist world view, Good bad, black white, feminine masculine, etc. But other cultures, the Celts being a prime example, always thought and understood in triads. Birth death regeneration, maid mother crone, beginning middle end, etc. The triadic world view really resonates with me, and I have been drawn to triskelion imagery all my life. Another interesting difference between my ex and I, that a marriage counsellor said was culturally based, was he only looked forward. Experiences for him were tossed behind in a heap, while my interior world was populated with my memories surrounding me is a semi-circle for easy reference. So what relation these cultural world views have to autism, is a fascinating question that I suspect has not been delved into yet.

[@Star_Rattler]

I was literally just thinking this same thing earlier today. I was thinking that culture must have such a gigantic impact on autism and the way that society is and how we interact with one another and how it is perceived and viewed as in different cultures. I was thinking that in certain cultures, autism must be much harder to spot because people are just more like that. In places where culturally people have more of a flat affect, that part of autism must be hard to spot because everybody is like that. There are many places that do not prioritize eye contact as highly as we do here in the States. Those are just a few examples that I could think of off of the top of my head. I definitely think people should start looking into this. Our idea of autism here in the United States and in other main English-speaking places like the United Kingdom and Australia will likely need to have different diagnostic criteria for autism as it will present differently based on culture. Autism already presents a differently in people assigned male verses people assigned a female a lot of the time, as well as it presenting differently in USA if you are white vs black vs Hispanic vs anything else because of the culture differences as well. Think about how many white men in the United States already struggle with being underdiagnosed, and then look at everybody else who is not as fortunate as to be a white cis man. And then leave this country. Who knows how many autistic people are out there undiagnosed in other countries because we just have no clue.

[@cosmolosys]

For passer-by audiences I think the most effective approach at this point in time is taking short clips from your videos and uploading shorts. I had a couple of laughs in this video I enjoyed it a lot. I have recently decided that it's important that I feel at peace and to take good care of myself physically mentally and emotionally, so the most rational thing to do is to let feeling take up a large part of the decision making. I consider all options, and for the best choice for me I should generally get a good feeling and certainty about it. Mindfulness helps me a lot with this. If my muscles feel tense thinking about a solution, it's most likely not the best solution for me. If thinking about a solution makes me feel relieved and calm, it's probably good. I'd like to be able to do this faster because it still can take me days or hours to think about a decision

[@MariahBurley]

I have always loved the way you explain things, Quinn. Thank you for sharing this video. With love, your friend Mariah

[@jonathanadamsson6201]

I have gotten in trouble before for bringing up bad possibilities when there is good news. It ruins people's mood which rationally I can understand, but I have to adress everything, it can take a lot of effort not to address something when I feel like it's relevant and I always want to disclose everything, but that can also quickly get overbearing for people.

[@jackpijjin4088]

Exactly!

[@hazeltree7738]

Yeah I used to do this too, at some point I started mentally asking myself "Does sharing this detail actually bring anything to the conversation, or is it going to cause needless negative consequences?" I _could_ point out bad news right now, but if it's fine not to I won't I _could_ correct the details on someone, but if it won't actually have a positive consequence... I won't. Obviously details are important, but if it's just a minor thing that isn't really important to the conversation, correcting it is just going to cause needless frustration

[@jonathanadamsson6201]

@@hazeltree7738 Thats actually a really good way to break it down. Thank you for sharing. Now it's just a matter of stopping to think and not act too much on reflex. And that is another can of worms. haha

[@hazeltree7738]

@@jonathanadamsson6201 Oh I'm glad you appreciate it ^-^ And yeah, the whole "Stopping to think" thing is something I find a lot easier than most people probably would because I mostly communicate online. A delay between texts is much more acceptable than a delay between sentences

[@jonathanadamsson6201]

@@hazeltree7738 That is so true, recently I've even found that conventional chats can be a little tiring for me because I would pressure myself to reply faster. So I've moved over to letter-type apps. Having a lot of time to think and formulate well structured replies really seems to suit me a lot. I think I've been told too many times I don't seem to think when I talk and I think the pressure I put on myself is a big factor there

[@MuscletoothRazorclaw]

I wasn't going to open this right away because I'm looking for something to listen to and not watch, but I noticed you did another teatime video so I had to watch it right away in support

[@moonpearl4736]

Love that opening!!!

[@SlugcatEmporium]

I got a good laugh out of the intro/outro Western-inspired bit, thank you so much for sharing your humor (along with the rest of the video, naturally!).

[@mmmsword]

this is an excellent title! thank you for finding a way to give your audience some good content while you are in this hectic period.

[@mariuszwisla3230]

Hi Quinn. It is good to see you again, and well. You have talked about two things I have given a lot of thought as well. I suppose those things belong to the category perplexing ND people until eventually we come up with some conclusion (a conjecture, as my math me would add to clarify), and it is most likely correct, though next to impossible to prove it. So, about those two things: • Failing to reach certain people - I think it matters, when you try it. If, so far, they have only built negative subconscious bias against you, that was making them act without them realising they are acting in a prejudiced manner, and it came out you are of a different neurotype, at that point they are facing a decision, whether admit to themselves the truth, and to start trying to dismantle that negative bias consciously subverting its input into their decision making, or to go into full denial, and turn hardcore ableist. Do not try to reach the latter kind past that point. Though, how can you tell without trying? • Roots of impulsiveness of NTs - I have speculated it is a coverup for their pathological need to assign guilt, whether there is need to do so, and whether there is actually someone guilty, because they often confuse cause with premeditated action being the cause, or to coverup their own guilt, even when nobody else noticed (observe how often they say “sorry” for no apparent reason). So, if they act fast, they might mislead others from finding out the truth. And so, it becomes a habit. After all they are after assigning guilt, not acting in a rational manner, and not even caring if it is or not. After all, if their irrationality creates problems, they can always rush to assign guilt to somebody else.

[@MuscletoothRazorclaw]

It can cause people to not have faith in us, to take the word of someone who is confident over someone who is thinking from every angle...it sucks

[@GygyMy]

Yup, unfortunately.. 'someone who is "confident in their assertiveness of 1 unique short-lenght point of view" usually.... the one who is thinking from every angle is not less confident...yet in most environments, is seen as such... I really don't get why people get angry (and/or more) in that case...

[@serenitygoodwyn]

It sucks, but if everyone thought like us, nothing would ever get done because we would all need to have every angle understood before we progress. Sometimes, particularly in business I find, there simply isn't the time to get all the information that would be ideal, it may not even be possible to get all the information. Then it's useful to have people who can make decisions and take action based on the limited evidence available quickly. The problem arises when they only operate in this way and don't accept the nuanced view when their is time and space to do so. The way I have got around this problem as a ND woman working in a NT male dominated area, is to find one person (a confident NT male) who will take the time to listen to me, and who appreciates my way of thinking. When it's important, I explain my reasoning to them, which may take a few attempts but they know from past experience that if I'm concerned about something there is probably a good reason, that no one has thought of and that needs to be considered. I also chose someone who's experience and opinion I trust, because I know if they say, 'yes, but, in this situation...' they are likely correct from a business point of view, something I struggle with. Once they understand, if they agree, they will argue my point for me far more eloquently and confidently than I can, and because they are male and seen as 'normal', they will be accepted more easily then I, even if they say the exact same thing. Yes, I don't get the credit, accept from that one person (it's helpful if it's your manager for that reason, but not essential) but I do get the satisfaction of knowing I helped avoid disaster in a project etc and I can always detail that in my end of year reviews etc and the person will back me up if evidence is required.

[@GygyMy]

@@serenitygoodwyn Well yeah. Of course diversity is key I agree withthe fact that it is useful/beneficial to have different types/styles of people in temas (everywhere). What you shared works in those (rare) "exact" circumstances : trust in a petient understanding person who is fine "translating" and or discussing your view and sharing it with others...and that does not happen that frequently; and the finding/having that/those persons takes time as well... Hapy you can benefit from this tho

[@serenitygoodwyn]

@@GygyMy You say it doesn't happen that often, but I've been able to find 'that person' in multiple different jobs in multiple organizations. Perhaps you don't find them because you don't believe they exist. Check out how the reticular activating system in the brain works. It does take time, and effort to build the relationship, but it's worth it.

[@GygyMy]

@@serenitygoodwyn I said there are not that many, not that they don t exist. Again, I m happy for everyone who encounters what makes life easier/smoother in any area. It shows it can happen. Great week-end.

[@wendyfollett8099]

Hey Quinn! I found this video just as I was sitting down with my morning cuppa. I love both your formats because your scripts are always excellent. Thank Mrs Quinn for letting you dress up in the best tablecloth 😂😂😂

[@CreativeAutistic]

A great opener, Quinn (even though I've a total aversion to Westerns 😆) Wilful ignorance in others is incredibly frustrating but, like you, I've learned through the years that it's a waste of time and energy in trying to engage. It's much more productive to wilfully ignore them right back. Here's to more 'Teatime' videos! ☕

[@ktaylor1755]

Thanks!

[@Autistamatic]

Ditto😊

[@idlikemoreprivacy9716]

Amazing title!

[@mariagusman6949]

The fidget spinner had me giggling! Thanks Quinn, I needed that today. 😊 Also, fulfilling video as always.

[@eugenekrabs3837]

Well done video very informative every time I watch a video i learn a little more

[@BobDouce]

I reckon that it was NDs who were the origin of 'thinking outside of the box'. All of the major steps of mankinds evolution needed that kind of thinking. Cheers Quinn. 🧔 👍

[@mariuszwisla3230]

as well as for creating "The road to hell is paved with good intentions", NT people tend to enquire about wellbeing of others constantly, most of them really being concerned when doing it, but is it always good for the target? For someone suffering from cPTSD, and doing everything they can to stop instrusive thoughts?

[@Adriell.h.b.]

I really liked this, and I really found it helpful in understanding the whole black and white thinking thing that they all tell me that I'm supposed to have. I'm not entirely sure about it, but I totally relate to that whole seeing multiple perspectives thing, sometimes called thinking too hard about a topic. I kinda doubted my self-diagnosis/identification because I could see from multiple perspectives and saw much of ethics and right and wrong in grayscale. So you reinforced my SI. Thank you Though I will forever wonder what you are drinking. Tea is a bit of special interest of mine 🤣

[@katoptron6583]

There is a German proverb for the "good in the bad" - situation: "Glück im Unglück", "luck in bad luck". It's quite appropriate to say that in a situation like in the diagnosis - example. Provided that you communicated compassion first. I would love to learn what the experience is of someone who is autistic and lived in Germany and other countries. There are some stereotypes about Germans that overlap with stereotypes about autists: Have no sense of humor. Are blunt. Are obsessesed with rules. Cling to routines. Appear stiff and unwelcoming. Overcomplicate things. (Can't dance. That doesn't belong here, just came to my mind.) But I fear, German NTs are not better than others in accepting ND people anyway 😢.

[@otisgorischek1915]

I am from Austria and self-identified, but I think I can answer this to a certain extend: Yeah, many people are like that("There are some stereotypes about Germans that overlap with stereotypes about autists"), but your fear is reality over here ^^ They have kinda strict rules and social norms, but that doesnt mean they understand at all, that you as an autistic person have OTHER routines and norms and that you just differ in certain areas. They might say things like: "he just wanna be special", "he is just simulating" and these two are very mild ones, some people even whispered to themselves "he's schizophrenic/bipolar/schizoaffective" getting labeled as completely crazy is far more likely than "extremely traumatized autistic person" so instead of empathy you get fear and distrust, bullying etc. etc... So, I think here it is exactly the same as in nearly every other place: shite as hell / sry for bad english

[@katoptron6583]

@@otisgorischek1915 Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@oliviamaynard9372]

I often think I am autistic. For a long time how people interacted was an interest of mine. I wanted to figure out how to make friends and Iinfluence people. I am good at it. I have a job in sales. I am great. Also, I hate it and it's making me insane and the secret to NTs is they lie. Fake it till you make it is the true NT motto and confidence is a con and competence is rarely as important as they say

[@Autistamatic]

Having spent a good few years in a similar vocation, I understand your frustration all too well.

[@deniset1714]

I enjoy both formats.😀👍

[@ginnyjanisse1220]

This is a very valuable lesson about communication and societal worth. As previously stated, your voice is comforting and content very relatable. Podcast-style sessions are just as good as videos if pictures aren’t really needed to get a point across. Thank you!

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

Another thing I'd add, people wouldn't be so annoyed or frustrated or lose patience with us as easily or quickly if we weren't such a mystery to them.

[@indigotaylor-noguera7119]

Like they wouldn't scowl or sigh as much during communication with them.

[@ar.a5393]

The more you're weaknesses are understood particularly, the more these are exploited and used against you. There are those that will hate you more having a better understanding of your differences...

[@Lesserthannone]

I think we are uneasy with any changes, Perhaps that's why we developed this mindset or skills

[@alanguest1979]

Quite like the "tea time" format, mind you you're very informative no matter the format!

[@BlueRoseHelen252]

As always an excellent video. You have said a lot of what I think but could never put easily into words. I hope your friend gets through their treatment and are back on form soon. I really enjoy a cuppa with Quinn. Thank you 😊

[@crinna]

If you bring up an interesting point about halfway through that this dual thinking I can also be a trauma derived personality trait. I got me thinking about the potential prevalence of universal autistic trauma and personality traits we think of as autistic and whether or not their source could be tied to the inescapable traumas of growing up autistic in a neurotypical world.

[@alexandraperezdeagreda326]

I'm not much of an online commenter, these days, but I'd like to say that, as a long-time suspected, medically driven through a myriad different- erroneous - hoops, and then, finally recently diagnosed Au'DHD'er, with some nasty, "picked up" comorbidities, along the way, to boot... I'm at a kind of liminal "half-way point" on my self-understanding journey now, from which I greatly appreciate, *both* your snazzy, educational-style videos, *as well as* this new, more personable format. The educational videos really help me gain perspective on issues I encounter so regularly, living in our current, "NT"-oriented society, whereas this new, more simple/"quiet", close/direct & somewhat "raw" format, really allows for a much-appreciated reprieve from all the world's algorithms *grabbing* at our attention-spans, & feels quite pleasantly, like a long-awaited, chill, "put the kettle on, turn the big light off, close the window & we'll put the world to rights, in the kitchen" with a good friend kind of..thing. What I'm trying to say, is that your explanation about the value, sense & reason behind doing *both* of these kinds of videos, given the specific goals/targets of your channel, makes absolute sense to me, and I couldn't agree more, that they're *complementary*. Sorry for the lengthy tirade...🤓😅😳🙈

[@Autistamatic]

No apologies are necessary where thanks are due for such constructive feedback😊

[@wanderinggamer5079]

Yooooo I saw that Thumbnail and instantly clicked! Nice work Quinn.

[@rsh793]

Yes! Far too much dividing and thinking of me and not we is so tragic to us all

[@PowerMechGuyTechMasterEarl]

I love this form factor for your videos. This is what we need for autism due to the complexity of the topics. Rock on!

[@Kamishi845]

Sometimes I really doubt my diagnosis because I have perhaps luckily, never experienced what Quinn describes here. I often wonder how much this is cultural or at least cultural in the sense of what groups of people you are around, because beyond being called things such as being cold (when I have burnt social bridges with people I realized I didn't want in my life and I acted unfazed when I did), negative/critical/besserwisser by pointing out faults in other people's reasoning and/or behavior, I still would have to say that most NTs I've been around have been nice people. Even those who may have called me negative and so on did because they felt I was personally criticizing them due to me being tone deaf (I only learned this is how it was perceived as I became older) and it was less about trying to belittle me and more just them trying to tell me I was a bit of an asshole without meaning to be.

[@janeyarcher6210]

Really love this approach and putting something I've always felt clearly. Thank you

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

My boss said that as well "We don't say those sort of things. In my mind yes we do, and then I have to rearrange my words to appease them. This happened before my diagnosis.

[@augiegirl1]

One thing that parallels what you're describing, albeit from a sports perspective, is the concept of a “moral victory”. The idea is that, even after a loss (especially if they made it more difficult for the opponents to win than was expected), the losing athlete/team can STILL feel good about their performance, even though, “officially”, they lost. My husband’s best man is convinced that I agree with this idea; I don't, but I DO believe that positives can be taken from a losing performance. After EVERY LOSS by the team that I am a fan of, the football (American) team at the University of Nebraska, he will text me that at least they're “still undefeated in moral victories”; I gave up correcting him after 2-3 years.

[@WingZeroDuality]

Hey, for the kinda guy that is not impressed by much in this world, this approach to talking about ‘this’ is impressive.

[@Green_Roc]

hearing so sensitive I cant sleep at night, describes me. 14:28 I have to play white noise to muffle the sounds. If everything is quiet while I sleep, I could hear my own heartbeat.

[@Autistamatic]

I like recordings of inclement weather for the same purpose😊

[@Hanna-ps4vl]

I been following this channel for awhile, there's a lot of important topics and they have good explanatory angles in them. The importance of this type of togetherness and the possibility for clarification is important to benefit us all.

[@user-ye1go6hw9r]

Particularly great content today, Quinn. Thank you for what you do, and how you do it! ❤

[@pardalote]

Loved your fidget spinner title scene. Thanks for sharing a cuppa 🫖❤

[@Ohsqwheezle]

My own AuDHD diagnosis - just six weeks ago in September 2024 at the age of 69 was an example of VERY good bad news. Now I know why I’ve been me for all my life and I’m not useless, worthless etc. Thanksfor this Quinn.

[@artificiallyaged]

I love the content of what you said. The spinner bit legitimately made me laugh out loud. Thanks Quinn 🤘 ✌️

[@Autistic_AF]

FIRST! 💥

[@nozhki-busha]

really Mike, really? 🤣

[@decievedbeans]

Your channel can be like an ecosystem. Some grand oak trees. Some cute little dandelions. All valuable, all essential. Especially to your stick around audience :))

[@Lesserthannone]

Hey its another quick edit video! Welldone Quin! Hmm Quinns a nice name I'll add it to my list of baby names, such is your value in my life. I met an NT that values my aut traits, perhaps above NTs

[@ZSchrink]

Thank you Quinn! I quite enjoyed this video. I've always been hesitant of the 'us versus them' and hate\anger-based mentality that some neurodiverse folks feel in regards to their treatment from NTs. I've felt that it needs to be a collaboration and I'm glad you have brought that up! Regarding your strategy for bringing people in for greater understanding, we can also see that with new people starting at an office. They will very frequently be the outsider, but as people are in proximity to them, they're less of an outsider even though they are still the newest person at the office. Or we can look at different people groups moving into another country\state\city\etc... A very similar thing happens. The closer in proximity\The more time with someone / another people group someone is, the less of an outsider other people feel them to be. Those differences aren't seen so much as dangerous as just what they are, a difference. It's another vestige of tribal mentality that used to be necessary that now just hurts. I hope all this makes sense, I feel like I'm not coming across well...

[@Cabesusan]

I'm finding these videos incredibly helpful and informative... They help me navigate NT world whilst not beating myself up for getting things wrong. Thank you 😊

[@micheals1992]

I've often wondered if we would've fared better in tribes. Where being inclusive is beneficial to the tribe rather than ostracizing you and excluding you from activities which would limit your ability to be a productive member of that society/tribe.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Yeah maybe some tribes would appreciate our skills more than urban capitalism

[@micheals1992]

@@keylanoslokj1806 some reason I've always been fascinated by Amish-like communities. If I could I'd definitely spend time the Bruderhof in the UK. I'm an atheist but the methods and ideas around a cashless and altruistic society has always been an area of interest for me. It's basically how astronauts would live if we ever built a colony on another planet/moon. Instead of obsessing about money we'd see whats real, access to resources to build, live and thrive. With one goal in mind, reducing the labour input required to live. in our monetary based society we see this as a bad thing (unemployment) while at the same time private industries strive for this (to increase profits), the outcome is reduced income for the people who need jobs to earn money to have access to things they need to live, abundance that produces an artificial scarcity of cash/income flow.

[@ghoulthebraineater]

Absolutely. Check out the solitary forager hypothesis. It's really interesting. When you look at the traits of an aspie outside out societal pressures they are uniquely suited to solo or tandem survival. Hyper sensitivity to stimuli would be a huge advantage when looking out for predators. Heightened pattern recognition would be useful in knowing when certain berries will be available. The preference to be alone means they won't break from the isolation. It's basically the difference between chimps and orangutans. There's greater food density where chimps live so they can support groups and the socialization that comes with it. Food is more scarse for orangutans so they are solitary and do not have the same social capabilities. I think it's a great comparison since we too are in the same family.

[@xyphold]

I've said best worst luck and worst best luck for years. Best out comes of the worst situations and vice versa.

[@arkaig1]

My dad was quicker at recognizing 'how' to handle 'complex' situations, while I was quicker to figure out 'why', albeit after asking questions more. We envied each other, eventually, but that was not easy. I'm much more neuro-atypical than neuro-typical. Unfortunately The Algorithm is already overly swooping in with its incorrectly unerringly correcting applicability. It is correct that I use Facebook too much. :(

[@LateDiagnosedAutism]

I was diagnosed at 54 with AuDHD.

[@linx29m]

Nice Quinn, and thanks to your anxiety tea time video, the Autistic Anxiety Live as it happens video , I have joined Patreon I have a bit of extra and love your content, my wife and 2 littles love you too so it may not be much but at least I can help pay for a bit of tea for ya.

[@Coleslaw40]

Love the cosy chat

[@willamthewisp3286]

Always appreciate your work.

[@taramccrory5412]

NT's lack the consistent trait masking, and in turn, situational recontextualizing.

[@E.Hunter.Esquire]

No thing is wholly good or wholly bad, i don't care who says so. They're entitled to believe whatecer they want, but they're objectively incorrect in saying that. There's nuance to literally everything, case in point.

[@JustDatBoi]

Exactly. Anyone who consistently thinks in black and white is either incredibly ignorant or immature. Sadly, I see more black and white thinking online these days. Nuance and context are ALWAYS necessary, but rubes are allergic to both it seems.

[@rita.amstlv]

I have been stalked for twenty years by my NT ex husband who has never heard about empathy. He has only just one emotion: hatery. He has even tried to kill me by trying to hit me by car. That truly evil, demonic person happens to be NT. Thank your for great video once again.

[@rita.amstlv]

Let me tell this: I learned my husband know after the divorce of him. After the divorce he started stalking me and that goes on for 20 years now. Not only he but lots of his friends and family members. It is his daily job and hobby to stalk me and this every single day, speaking about obsession! Also he tries to make me look bad by telling lies to everyone like my neighbours.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Sounds like a possessed narcissist/psychopath. So not exactly the epitome of normal

[@Phoenix-regenerating]

@EcoHamlets expanding peoples consciousness is the way forward. I'm impressed.

[@autisticMargo]

Very interesting and relatable😊

[@chellie99]

Another cool intro! Thank you kindly, Quinn. Best regards. This video has educated, amused, and comforted me, in equal measure. 🥰

[@rafaeleichmueller9838]

Hi i am autistic as well and i was so interested to hear the quote at 4:26 because it describes so beautifully why many non autistic people still use our condition as an insult as well as the reason why many of us are still discriminated against, because the other side of the mirror still is to incompetent (sorry for the word) to understand that we are literally just living beings, they might not be capable of understanding very well, but we are no "monsters" to be feared. But i still think of it to be important to talk about the subject and try everything to offer these people the opportunity to understand autistic people and their behavior as well as ways of thinking. (Even tho it is probably useless because they will hate us whatever happens 😉)

[@josephmartin1540]

I like this format [as well as the other]. Needed calm today. I did quite enjoy speeding the speed up for sips. Carry on!

[@flyygurl18]

Superb! 🌍

[@Havreflan]

Love both styles of content. For me it would be helpful if there was some clue in the title or thumbnail, like perhaps a consistent font color and style, to differentiate between different series of content, so to speak.

[@patrickdavis3502]

This is a beautiful expression of the diversity in humanity and its inherent importance. A good reminder for me at least.

[@Lesserthannone]

This format is the Louis Rossman of interpersonal phenomena

[@seanhewitt603]

As a high functioning adult living with autism, I've had to become the typical "sigma" male... A little bit shameful, that I've stooped to such a low, but, meh, what's to do?.

[@catherinethiemann9760]

oh my god the fidget spinner scene. 😂 Well played!

[@menosproblemos6993]

I tried reading the bible. I got so far as to the tree of knowledge. I never knew it was knowledge about good and evil, so i kinda flipped out. Because in my head, what god meant was "Don't categorize things as good and evil". I never understood why adam and eve should restrain from knowledge, though a lot of choices in that book have had strange logic to them, so I didn't bother too much questioning a strange rule. I think adjectives are all relative and can change depending on what mood you are in and what you've experienced, so good and bad are just ehm.... Like this "That was a good goal", says one of the goal keepers. The other one does not think that goal felt good.

[@stevenwarner9156]

I do find it interesting to see the variation when it comes to black and white thinking; but my goodness have I often seen very rigid black and white thinking in autistic circles. I frequent various autism-related subs on Reddit, and I often see people taking very black-and-white approaches to whether or not you can say you have Asperger's (especially in light of Herwig Czech's 2018 article), with a significant few claiming that you are essentially a terrible person if you say that you have Asperger's even if it's the diagnosis you received, even if you only use it pragmatically in some situations because you haven't the time, energy, or social skill to get a person who might infantilise you, due to disclosing that you are autistic, to stop without complicating the encounter even further. I've also seen some autistic people write other people off completely due to a miscommunication or misunderstanding, or perhaps the other person inadvertently absorbed a bad idea that happens to be toxic and they don't realise it. Rather than entertaining the fact that the person might otherwise be very decent but sadly misguided on a particular point, I have seen a number of autistic people see such people as completely tainted. That kind of approach can also happen in plenty of allistic people who might just categorise someone as part of a perceived rival out-group. It seems hard to quantify to what extent autistic people are or are not black-and-white thinkers compared to to neurotypicals. I definitely empathise more with looking at situations from multiple sides.

[@Autistamatic]

I've more to say on the phenomenon you describe at some point. There may be way more depth to it than we usually presume.

[@stevenwarner9156]

@@Autistamatic I look forward to hearing your perspective on it! :)

[@hazeltree7738]

What I despise most with black and white thinking with that is when frustration with neurotypicals turns into full on discrimination, "Neurotypicals are just complicated idiots, us autistic people are much smarter and more straightforward" Like... That's the exact thing we've fought against for ages, discrimination does not cure discrimination

[@micheals1992]

I remember when I was a kid around the time I first started to suspect I was autistic. I did experiments with myself to see if I had any of the "traits" I read online like memorising numbers so I emptied my mums cupboard and memorised every barcode. I surprised myself and when my mum got home I decided to tell her to take a random items out of the cupboard and I said I would tell her the number on the barcode. She was shocked and emptied the full cupboard 😂. She asked me how I did it and I couldn't really explain it at the time, looking back though its almost like each set of numbers had a different tempo when spoken so it was more like beatboxing a specific set of beats only the beats was verbalising the numbers of each barcode.

[@micheals1992]

I suppose it makes sense because I remembered the alphabet in a similar way, I can verbalise from A-Z in 3 seconds (I just timed myself).

[@loukyb]

Good points! Very interesting

[@JoelFelsenstein]

Love the video my friend your content is always inspiring

[@paulbyrne3488]

Thanks Quinn, love the balance.

[@decievedbeans]

I love your sense of humour 😂❤❤

[@Green_Roc]

"get to the point" I usually dont have a point.

[@BooBooBugalugs]

Nicely done, Quinn.

[@yoavbartov2147]

happy you are keeping with it :)

[@jackpijjin4088]

My "grey thinking" is why I registered as independent when it comes to voting. I don't like to take any campaign at face value and tend to hold values that either both or neither fully hold, and it's frustrating to watch folks totally miss red flags, or get defensive because they assume that you agree with EVERYTHING their opponent believes.

[@Tilly850]

It sure would be great...WILL be great, when we understand that diversity is just the way humans are. When (almost) everyone understands that our differences complement and enhance our humanness rather than treating differences as disabilities. I'm so tired after a lifetime of shoving my square peg into the round hole that is defined as "normal". Yup. Dreaming out loud here. Thanks for your chats. I like.

[@zia7731]

Now I realise how much I suffer with autism, most things I didn't even know were autism til recently. I thought it was just me. How do people cope? People seem to be ok whereas I just can't function. Maybe it's isolation. Like the tribe thing, and needing others to survive. I don't have that

[@MegaIorex]

When you said 'good' bad news and 'bad' good news I thought the video was going to be about news that was intended to be either good or bad, but for you its actually the opposite

[@chrismaxwell1624]

I've been accused of black and white thinking at lot. Thing is I'm not. I just set the parameters at one end the black and the other end the white. Then I can look at the grey between them. A lot people see the black and a surrounding atmosphere of grey or white with same but not both and miss most of grey between them.

[@lucyj8204]

Small thing, but thank you for drinking away from your microphone. Cosy teatime chats on KZbin are so often spoiled by gratuitous slurping. Even if I hadn't listened to any of your words, this simple consideration would show me how autistics understand and empathise with each other.

[@Autistamatic]

Slurping makes me cringe too 🤢

[@ghoulthebraineater]

​@@Autistamaticme too. Thank you.

[@ezevaillard7740]

The people who need to see this are the people who are not interested.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Said it all