Living in Fear (Why Autistic Life Can be Terrifying)... Autism Life

[@rednebula3503]

One thing that's strange about allistic people is that they'll sometimes praise and compliment our autistic traits when they don't know that we're autistic, but will start demonizing and infantilizing us when they figure out what our identity is.

[@oerstedodio]

Pretty much :/

[@robokill387]

pretty much because of portrayal in the media, we're portrayed as either dangerous and unstable or childlike and simple.

[@arsVegas]

@@robokill387 I disagree. In this instance, art is definitely mimicking life as we were described that way long before any of those things were invented. In fact, every time there’s been any type of progress made or even perceived progress in our being treated and viewed as anything but “destined to live a half life filled only with the suffering they exhibit or cause, w/ these children that only want a few toys and show genuine interest in what they say they’re interested in, their poor families always knowing what to feed them, what they’ll like and when, it’s AWFUL!!! Donate 🫴”, things like famous, and successful people, some beloved, admitting they’re autistic, happily married adults with children and careers and homes admitting they’re autistic, multiple research studies done documenting the opposite of much of what society has been and continues to be told about autism (and all disorders currently under its umbrella), that it’s not 4:1 boys to girls that are autistic but 3or2:1 and the evidence points to the likelihood of 2:1 or once one factors in the updates in knowledge needed re diagnostic criteria 🤦🏾‍♀️, are some examples. None of which are even march in the street I have rights stop treating me like a 2nd class citizen (which is actually WAY MORE ACCURATE where I live). It’s simply the EXISTENCE of these things, and there’s a correlating uptick in ads and articles etc for autism treatments, for new research being conducted, for new discounts on therapy near you so your kid has “the best chance of living a normal life, maybe even living on their own”. 😱 Oh no! I have to do something! But then your kid’s interests and quirks were happily obliged and supported, it was not a stretch to think they could become a doctor with that kind of intensity and focus and passion! But that’s all stopped per the advice of multiple expert doctors. Those same behavior are now described as special interests rather than a potential career field, as hyper focus and emotional dysregulation and should be interrupted and directed somewhere appropriate and an appropriate emotion to display can be taught, this is typically followed by their displaying anxiety, depression, meltdowns, temper tantrums, and even possible defiant opposition disorder, but THOSE are all typical “traits” of autism, too, so don’t worry. There’s no cure but we are working on finding better treatments. Meanwhile, there is LITERALLY NO GOOD REASON for ANY psych doc in any area on planet earth with internet access to believe much less say ANY of that rubbish ☝️up there. No REASONABLE way such a thing could even occur unless the person’s own reading, reading comprehension, and learning abilities themselves were jeopardized in some manner. So here’s MY question. When and/or How does the study and all the research begin on the NTs? I’ve got current theories and it is banger!

[@arsVegas]

🙌🙌

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes

[@TheGoowolf]

Autism is one of those things where people have more sympathy towards the friends and family of an autistic compared to the autistic themselves. So a lot of people are pretending to be friends with the autistic in their group just for social points because they can pretend they care. That was a big reason why I was afraid to come out as autistic. Because then it would make finding true friends even harder.

[@darrenmills9832]

People who are friends with a mask, not what lies beneath, can never be true friends. If you want true friends, you've got to make yourself vulnerable .. I don't suppose it's much different for neurotypical people... and I kinda question how many of their "friends' are true friends..., I suspect many NTs are only united by their joint conformity with social norms and don't actually know each other very well at all... hence all the snall talk.. it also seems to me that they spend just as much time masking as we do. They just happen to be more comfortable with the inauthentic nature of it all.

[@nikosantos1172]

sounds like your in your own head

[@clarkbowler157]

Coming out can also facilitate true connection

[@dennisyoung4631]

True. It can be dangerous.

[@t.f.3228]

ive never considered that perspective before.

[@az-tl3mh]

I am a 32 year old woman who was diagnosed with asperger's when I was 10 years old. My life has been pure hell I don't even know how I could begin to describe it. I have lived in fear all day every day for most of my life.

[@turtleanton6539]

Metoo

[@Tilly850]

Being female AND autistic I totally hear you. me too.

[@robertmadrid5481]

What you just said really hurts my heart. You should write a book ..no one has the knowledge about autistic apprehension on a daily basis. You could possible help a younger person see that as they get older they have more control over there daily lives

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

​@@robertmadrid5481What did she say that makes you think she now has more control over her adult life? Or were you telling her that as an adult she now has control?

[@Mantras-and-Mystics]

​@@Tilly850Yeah. A double whammy. 😢

[@CricketGirrl]

I never understood why I had a reputation as a troublemaker in school, because I followed all the rules. It never occurred to me that maybe I asked too many questions when the school didn't. I lost my job twice after bringing unethical behavior of supervisors to management's attention. This element of my personality always confused my peers--which in turn confused me, because they're RULES. I was just diagnosed last week, and it blows my mind that whistle-blowing could be an autistic thing!

[@zkcud2858]

I remember I tried to out do my friend Richard by finishing the most amount of work in a giant work book and the teacher got mad at us because we were working too fast and not listening

[@LilChuunosuke]

I have been homeless more than 10 times between the ages of 18 and 25. I have slept on someone else's couch for anywhere from one night to multiple years, have slept outside, and have even shared a bed with a predatory man I did not feel safe with because it was supposed to be below freezing that night and I had nowhere else to go. *Every* time I have been involuntarily vacated from housing, my autism was one of the main factors if not the only one. My organic body language was misread by the people providing me housing as aggressive, defensive, and disrespectful. My need for isolation was seen as a lack of empathy, love, or care for the people in my environment. My strong sense of justice and inability to read social cues has caused me to stand up for my rights and the rights of people I share a living space with in ways that are deemed aggressive, threatening, and over the top. My meltdowns and fawning responses were seen as emotionally manipulative ploys to get away with dodging responsibility in conflicts. The worst part is: for almost all these stories, I was not even aware that I was autistic. I had no way to explain my behaviors, request accomodations, or reassure myself. I was being told that they had "no choice" but to kick me out onto the streets because I was such a terrible person, but was clearly too trapped in my own selfish head to fully recognize that fact and better myself. I had no defense I could make because I genuinely could not see how my behaviors were hurtful (and most of them weren't. I was just threatening status quo in a way they found intimidating). I am unable to request accomodations at my workplace because I work with a few other lower-masking autists and I see how management and my peers treat them as less than human. The ones who are higher masking autistics get treated better (but still not equal) simply for insisting they aren't. People have expressed sympathy for my parents upon discovering I am autistic, even going as far as excusing their ABA-esque parenting techniques, the physical violence, and death threats I endured as a child because "raising autistic children is exhausting." Many people I care about, even if they don't outright state it, clearly believe I am not autistic. I do not fit in their narrow box of what autism looks like. I am told I would've been diagnosed as a child if my behaviors actually impacted my day-to-day life even though I was a quiet, book-loving girl in the early 2000s, a type of autist who was often seen as shy and well behaved instead of developmentally disabled. My requests for accomodations with non-disabled friends are either refused outright ("why would you need us to do that? Its never been a problem before.") or I will be met with a sincere-sounding promise to be accomodated, only for nothing to change. . I recently recovered a traumatic memory of my early childhood. When I first realized I needed to mask as a child, I was overcome with depression and grief. I did not understand why everything I did was wrong and why nobody would just tell me what to do. I didn't understand why I would be punished the second I started acting like myself. Even expressing too much joy was punished sometimes. It became such a common part of my day to day life that the reason for my sadness began to...slip away. I began forgetting that I was losing my true self in the middle of grieving over her. Until one day I lied in my bed in a panic, realizing I no longer knew what I was crying for. It took almost 20 years before I finally remembered that my entire sense of self was fake. A fabricated being that existed solely for the comfort of everyone else. At the expense of my own happiness and comfort. I still do not feel safe disclosing my autism to employers, doctors, or landlords because of how much danger it can and has put me in. For now, I am taking baby steps disclosing with my peers.

[@k91985]

You'd think landlords would be glad because it would mean that you'd be honest and pay your rent

[@LilChuunosuke]

@k91985 you would think! Because I *am* honest and have *always* paid my rent on time! In the beginning, they always remark on how quiet, polite, and respectful I am. How I'm so much better than they're previous tenant. But then they always assign some non-verbal expectation on me and begin to detest me when I don't adhere to it since I'm entirely unaware they expect it of me (I have lived with a lot of small landlords where I was there only tenant and a lot expected me to become best buddies with them.) I can do everything right as a tenant and still get removed for acting too autistic.

[@victoryamartin9773]

This makes me think it might not always be helpful to disclose. We need to learn conflict management. But that's easier said than done when conflict sends us spiraling into a meld down or shut down.

[@AppreciateGoodMessag]

@@victoryamartin9773 Quinn is an example of embracing ourselves for who we are. When people tell me I am stubbonn I simply answer with, don't you mean I have the strength of perserverance? (

[@chuzzbot]

I've an almost parallel experience, unpeeling fact that I was a roughly hewn shell, remote controlled by a bunch of personas with a very distant and silent interior watching 'my' life unfold in dismay.

[@shantaeforsmash8287]

I got in a lot of trouble in primary school for 'harassing other students' when I just was trying to be friends with other people

[@arsVegas]

It’s harassing when we say it with “this face” or with “that voice” or at “that time” or sometimes just because it’s “that person”, but it’s normal for all of Them, and was even praised as being so nice by Them. I could do the same thing, eventually, but still hit or miss at best. Humor or silent nodding works best for me in groups of 2 ore more. Sometimes less. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Certain groups/people I can do a little better with, but generally speaking, that’s it. I eventually just figured it was just ME somehow and had to leave it there until I could get further info. That’s where it stayed for decades until this last week when it was confirmed after hearing right in front of me for no less than the 3rd time, possibly 4th, someone make the same observations I’d made a month ago but received a validating response as opposed to the ‘ask them’ and ‘they’re busy’ response I got, directly followed by the other person then casually wondering about the same solution I’d mentioned the day before and week before that had been met with the same “they’re busy, that’s odd”, whereas THIS time the other person instead AGREED. 😧 Unbelievable. Un be liev able 😳😐 If I get any more polite and thoughtful than I already am people will think I’m mocking the Queen, which would be really fkn weird for a brown chick from southwest America. 🤬

[@fleshtonegolem]

@10:47 how close to home these words are. "I got in trouble at school for being clever, and at work for being honest." Same boat my man, same boat...

[@Ember_Green]

another brilliant video! being blamed for being correct or questioning adults was a huge part of my childhood, too.

[@victoryamartin9773]

A man in my Bible Study that I find myself frequently annoyed with on account of his judgmentalism has said that all mental illness is demon posession, and that includes Autism. That's when I chose to come out at the Bible Study and ask if he believes me to be demon posessed then. He did not back down. And nobody else rose to my defense. I am feeling less and less safe to be who I am there even as a Christian.

[@StateoftheMatrix]

the problem with awareness raising is that it never, NEVER works. There are always more ignorant people around the corner.

[@lauren-qb9cf]

I so agree. and worse people might lie and it never helps

[@axelborgvall1648]

Or maybe there is too much to be aware of?

[@Dancestar1981]

@@StateoftheMatrix especially when so called supporters believe the funding you got is a mistake when it never was

[@quitmanlott7394]

I am openly autistic, and I'm well liked and well respected at work. In my transactions with others, I use behavioral engineering to achieve my desired goals. This is another way of saying that I play mind games. How careful I am when I do this depends upon my past experiences with the other person. This sounds evil, but most people do this without even thinking about it. We don't have that luxury; we have to think things like this through. The thing I get ask most is "What is it like?" The answer "My thought processes are drastically different than yours. I'm like an Ai computer that has too many emotions and feelings, all contained within a human body, I see everything as a system, or part of one. And I have no preprograming, or behavioral instincts, so I have to program myself, and react as I have learned to." "We have to develop our intelligent and memory to live well, to do this we have to think deeply and often." I've never seen a bad reaction to this

[@razredge07]

I have. I never said I was autistic, but I did explain how I viewed the world and all that I had to process internally. I lost a lot of friends for being "fake."

[@quitmanlott7394]

There are ways around this. I know you are a female, but this should still help you. The perfect mask: It was later in life before would get to that stage where I could go very far into a relationship. I didn’t know I was autistic, I thought I had an emotional and an attitude problem. When I was around a female I was interested in, I would shiver noticeably and had trouble forming sentences. I saw a movie called "Hollow Hal". His problem was, he would focus only on women he wanted to have sex with. That was the reason he failed. I decided that I would talk to all the women that I met to get comfortable, and accustom to it so that I would desensitize myself. That way, when I would find somebody that I was interested in, it was easy, because I had done it so many times before. I was also way too self-conscious and would choose topics others had very little interest in; so I needed to focus mostly on the other person and let them choose what we would talk about. I would ask questions and remember what she said, that way I could later refer back to her answers to show that I'm listening and I care about her and what she has to say. As to not come across as artificial, you should genuinely develop an interest in them, and be a good listener. I'd offer very little about myself, but I Would briefly answer questions. All the women I met, really liked being treated like this. In fact, I practiced this "external focus method" on everyone, and it worked great; I found this to be the perfect set of behaviors to get people to like you. There is an extra added bonus. When women notice you are popular and other women are interested, this also puts you at the top of their list. It has an avalanche affect. But focusing, remembering, and making everything about other person, does take a lot of energy and a massive amount of effort. When you find someone you’d like to talk with, choose the right time. You do not want to intrude or be too aggressive, you just want to be sociable. If you notice something about her that you like, part of her clothing or outfit, her smile, hair, shoes, nails, mannerisms; pick something that impressed you, that you know she will enjoy talking about, then compliment her on it and tell her why it caught your eye. Keep your part of the conversation positive, constructive and pleasant. To fill in the gaps, ask her appropriate questions, find out about her interest and her thoughts, what she likes to do, ate, and drink. If you talk about other people, say nice things about them. Be an attentive listener, show a true honest interest in everything she says.

[@razredge07]

@@quitmanlott7394 that's a form of "masking" along with social scripting. It's possible to fool neurotypicals for a while, but it defeats the purpose of a partner, family, and friends if you have to "fake it" to maintain those relationships. I've had better luck forming friendships with other forms of neurodivergent individuals than I have with neurotypical individuals. My partner is schizophrenic and we get along much better than I ever did with a neurotypical partner -- that includes factoring the less pleasant aspects of schizophrenia. They are still significantly less stressful. So no, I no longer care about winning favor with people via masking. Now, I care more about authenticity and avoiding those who don't value it when I can.

[@JC-hi6hy]

Kudos to you! As a recently diagnosed 74 year old woman I am encouraged by, impressed with, and supportive of your message. We need thousands more like you! Thank You!

[@CricketGirrl]

Congrats on your diagnosis! I just got mine last week. I'm 49.

[@morgainebrigid]

I'm 62. I was diagnosed at age 58. But I knew people treated me differently all my life

[@monicaluketich6913]

I'm 68 and am pretty sure I'm on the spectrum, but I'm very high masking. I will talk to my doctor about getting tested next time I go in for my regular checkup, basically for my own information about my body. I worked mostly with engineers and computer systems experts, many of whom are probably on the spectrum, so we pretty well all got along. I was surprised when I found out that 30-40% of the population is on the spectrum. Why, if the % is so high, are WE the ones that are called neurodiverse? To me, since I have green eye (something like 2% of the population), why don't others make a fuss about that? Humans fear everything different from themselves. We are a very strange species.

[@AppreciateGoodMessag]

@@monicaluketich6913 Well said. I just turned 74 and have been tested am awaiting the diagnosis. If he says I am not ASD+ADHD, OCD, due to early childhood trauma because of being diciplined to conform to what was expected in the 1950s. An introvert my parents insisted I enter an oratorical competition to push myself. Months of memory work, my mother pushed me to make the right hand gestures, expressions and voice inflection and to smile. Winning stopped many of the bullies in their tracks. It is the only thing many of my still living piers remember about me. I moved back to my smallish (very much changed home town fourteen years ago. I feel like a stranger and my neighbors call me the cat lady because I keep handing out posters of one lost cat. They all think I am crazy because I have been searching every lead for almost a year. I have to laugh. I have a dog as well.

[@sh41]

I think we can turn the "You can't be autistic" response into something positive. People need to understand that we are proper human beings. The more times they get exposed to the fact that someone they respect or like is autistic, the more we can erode the stigma around it... At least that is one of the main reasons why I do it.

[@Autistamatic]

You're absolutely right Raul which is the point I make at the end of the film. The more of us that are visible, the harder it is to pretend we don't exist. Sadly far too many of us aren't in a strong or secure enough position to do so, so it's up to those of us who can, like you and I, to pave the way. Thanks for commenting and for doing what you do to help us move forward.

[@lakkakka]

I rather have then view me as autistic. I'd rather deal with the misconceptions of autism. Easier to predict reactions.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

@@Autistamatic I tell it how it is . If my honesty isn’t liked then that means I’m in a world of fakes n liars . Which would you prefer to have as a mate . A truth telling autistic or a porky tales telling NT I. Know my answer. Now I just have to find a fellow diagnosed autistic who would like to date a fat frumpy 54 year old jaded autistic for meals out , coffee dancing and signing nights out . One with a pain in the arse annoying voice and bad back. 🤣🤣🤣😼😼😼🤯🤯

[@sksk-bd7yv]

Your videos have empowered me, making me brave enough to say from start in A New Nightclass that I'm Audhd. I explained that I don't always look like I'm listening, and please no hugs. They were really nice. Not one insult, weird remark or even a change in their attitude! I felt like I'd run a mile to kick a door in, when it was already open. So strange. Never happened before. But I've noticed how much more difficult it gets for bullies when you demand respect from the start. Well, you may still get beaten. That's just reality. But I'm through being abused!

[@TheMookie1590]

@@Autistamatic Its useful, but like. It can be hard to just not blurt out, "you dont look like an idiot, yet here you are"

[@OrthodoxChristian809]

It's taken me a decade to come to terms with being autistic. I'm terrified on a daily basis and have been abused all my life. It's knocked years off my life. My health is failing and I can't face going to the doctors. There's just no point.

[@xyou_little_gluntx1837]

I told my friend I was autistic and then like 5 seconds later she made fun of autistic people in front of me. She now won't speak to me. She also went around telling everyone I was autistic and now everyone else won't speak to me.

[@dani323]

@hello 🤔think about it.. are those people 'friends'? I think not. I appreciate what he said here. Except: it is not only about autism, it is about anything others view as different or whatever the trend/fashion/tradition so on. That's why, the most important part of this here, is the individual; the person. Simple. Do your better every single time and every single day be yourself looking at who you are not what others say of you. Take care of yourself one☝️moment at a time.😊

[@M2Mil7er]

We should reframe events like this like not realising these so-called friends had undiagnosed arseholery. We can miss the people we thought they were, but not the people they actually are.

[@not.this.anonymous]

The same thing happened to me. I joined a new school and made friends with a group of people. I told ONE of them I was autistic, now the whole school knows and either treats me like I’m a five year old or some kind of disgrace

[@marocat4749]

​@@M2Mil7eryeah its probably more a harsh true friends selection.

[@EBR1]

Those people were NEVER your friend to begin with.

[@paulfincher506]

Wow. What a inspiring talk. I totally get what you mean. I disclosed to a couple of family members and they both said "but aren't we all a little bit autistic?" I think I should say "if only, then life would be a lot better!" Keep up the good work in increasing the acceptance and inclusion of all.

[@autiejedi5857]

Ah, the bullying 😔 The social hypocrisy is awful on a daily basis. Thanks for dicussing this important topic. 💜💜💜

[@Dancestar1981]

I have the dual diagnosis of Asperger’s and combined ADHD late diagnosed late in adulthood and was bullied all my life

[@AppreciateGoodMessag]

@@Dancestar1981 The scary part for women who are undiagnoised and because we are taught to fawn for acceptence are often emotionally abused (which is often worse than the physcal abuse ---I know from experience) and ending up with PTSD and think their failed relationships are their fault. But once we figure it out, we can learn to thrive.

[@jusroc6353]

Most people have told me that I haven't got ASD because i do not have a co-morbid intellectual disability. The people who made this assumption, were misinformed and likely were referring to the old fashion classic autism criteria.

[@AidanWightman]

Another is how the condition is portrayed in the media. Consider the number of times some killer is immediately branded autistic (or another word like loner is used as a synonym). If a diagnosis is revealed then the media latch on to it as though it provided the automatic explanation, i.e. autistic = violent. If there is such a link then rejection in a neurotypical world is more likely to be the issue: it is likely to be subtler than the idea than the supposed link between autism and violence. The idea that the violence may be a response to violence (e.g. bullying) does not get raised but it should. Bullying causes so many negatives but it is still not treated with the severity it deserves.

[@rainbowconnected]

You are so right, especially what you say that bullying isn't taken seriously enough. Another aspect of the media portrayal is how violence against autistic people is downplayed. For example, the many cases of autistic children being killed by their parents and somehow, the parent is portrayed as the victim and sympathized with. The sentiment often being that it's "understandable" why they'd do that in response to having to deal with such a "difficult" child. Often the child is painted as being violent. Though it's never mentioned what might have spurred that, it's presented as if it's an inherent part of autism. I don't think it is. I think it's a response to abusive "therapies" and treating us as less than human, i.e. bullying. The fact that even the murder of a child is treated as "understandable" if that child is autistic sends the message our lives aren't valuable. Strange that they say we're the ones who lack empathy...

[@Dancestar1981]

@@AidanWightman exactly or all the funding goes to people who are not autistic but are non verbal then us level 2s with complex needs and multiple ND disabilities aren’t listened to or respected and can’t get the essential funding we need to live

[@rogerrodgers6550]

Another brilliant vlog many thanks. My time at school was the stuff of nightmares Short version I was often sent out of the class for doing something 'wrong'. 3 teachers banned me from their class permanently ( woodwork, art, literature) I was sent to the library which was used as a sort of holding pen for any difficult pupils I was often the only one there and I was delighted to be left alone. Every day I read books and one year I read a complete set of encyclopaedias. I would speak up in class telling the teacher when he was wrong about something ( geographical or historical facts) based upon my massive memory filled brain which i still have to this day Nowadays It would almost certainly be illegal to treat a pupil as i was back then My last day at school I was separated from other kids and marched out of the building. the school refused to give me a reference to help me get a job "Happy Days"

[@Andres-is3lj]

We are in dire need of more people like you

[@AppreciateGoodMessag]

He is an inspiration for me.

[@MrKevindj24]

Wow, you kind of wrecked me at the end. I'm struggling to get my feet underneath me right now, but I need to be done with repressing because I think it's killing me. Thank you for sharing.

[@robertjohnburton9775]

As I listened I cringed with memories of my own experiences. Neurotypicals can be nasty. For over 50 yrs I have had a sick feeling in my stomach. Masking is a part of my life; however, as I get older the masking is collapsing. People now hate me because I will tell them unpleasant truths. I have no friends or interested family in my environment. I live alone with a cat, but I am not afraid either. Thank you for this important video.

[@turtleanton6539]

It is The way it goes for most folk

[@robertjohnburton9775]

@@turtleanton6539 The world is overloaded with crazymakers. However, that need not stop us if we develop a resilience to being sucked into other's expectations and this includes family, doctors, and manipulative people with hidden agendas. Instead, take that empty path because in the end, what matters?

[@TeamJesusGo]

​@@robertjohnburton9775Hi! I don't know if I should say "I'm sorry you are almost alone"... I have two kitties, so I don't consider myself alone. I find my cats a safer form of love than otherwise. I do have... People who want to be friends... But I don't consider them friends because I am not free to take off the mask. Be exhausted after social interaction or be expected to be refreshed as a neurotypical person would. So I avoid contact as much as I can. It can get a lonely but the alternative is too high a price to pay. Sending you a warm felt hug! 🥰

[@robertjohnburton9775]

@@TeamJesusGo Agreed, it is problematic except that we cannot exist as islands. Many times we need assistance and without some others we will enter places without support. The use of the www. is an example, we need not directly meet others, but we need this interaction to remain sane and sociable. One has to crash and burn many times, that's our lot in a harsh but beautiful world. So, reach out and burn, what's the worst that can happen? Cheers

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

@dancingram79 fellow cat lover here too

[@samanthabeaty4578]

I love this video, Quinn! It really roused me, inspired me and encouraged me. I definitely went through a rollercoaster when I discovered that I am Autistic. On one hand it answered the question that had become the whole point of my existence: "What's wrong with me?" I always knew something about me was "off" and I knew internally if I could figure out exactly what it was that I could "fix" my life. I'd stop feeling like a bull in a china shop that just destroys everything. When I found out my body, soul and spirit breathed an enormous sigh of relief and years and years of perceived failure just melted away as though they had never existed. And I started to excitedly disclose to EVERYONE, even total strangers ... I guess because for some weird reason I thought by telling them they'd have grace and understanding but I seemed to forget that the knowledge what that MEANS isn't conferred upon them. I began to discover that people (very intelligent, generally knowledgable people) have NO CLUE what autism is. And I sort of laughed because I encountered every stereotype you mentioned, along with the ubiquitous "Well ... we're all somewhere on the Spectrum." I don't know why, but I was absolutely shocked about how much ignorance there was. Maybe it's the poor theory of mind! haha. My parents, however, were INCREDIBLY supportive and excited for me and wanted to hear everything about being autistic. I suspect that's because my parents are probably also neurodivergent as well. What really disappointed me was the reaction of my church family, who had been otherwise incredibly supportive and loving. There not only did I experience a lot of that change in communication, but a whole slew of stereotypes that are common in my faith itself: "Don't speak that over yourself!" "You can be healed of that; we will pray over you!" "Don't make that your identity!" Each time it's an opportunity for me to re-educate people. I've had people point out that I'm constantly mentioning, "Oh, I did that because I'm autistic" and they've tried to tell me that "I'm making it an identity" or I "make everything about autism" or I "See autism in everything" or that I'm using it as an excuse but I realized that what I'm actually doing is trying to point out what autism looks like to people because I didn't receive the grace I expected when I disclosed to people. Like you said, we've got to make it normal and not be afraid to be ourselves and to reeducate people about what it is. If I look like a fool, get side-eyes or even have to experience confrontation, so be it.

[@Tilly850]

I too found it the answer to being wrong all my life. Good luck with the church family. They abandoned me when I divorced...even though my former husband wasn't a church-goer with me. I was basically ostracized. Church hasn't worked for me as an institution since all those people who preach unconditional love for their church family failed to include me. I wish you the best. We don't SEE autism...we ARE autistic people noticing it in ourselves now that we know. sigh...I agree...there is a lot of educating to be done.

[@marypham859]

I have had similar experiences with the church before I knew that I am on the spectrum. I am very slowly easing myself back to a new church. I was badly bullied at 3 churches I attended so I am nervous. 😫

[@jusroc6353]

I like your assertive and honest attitude. Good for you bro!

[@paulakohrt6189]

Thank you. I’ve had the problem of being too knowledgeable, following my honest nature at work and making others look really bad. Even though I found the answer, I made my boss look bad. Which was not my attention. Retirement is really difficult. I live alone and I like it.

[@sashaholladay6310]

I don’t know if I fall somewhere within the spectrum. But I am learning more and more from people like you. I am 59. And I am just now making sense of my life. I just wanted to say thank you.

[@robertjmccabe]

Very powerful. Sometimes I think I’m with you. But it’s really hard when your job is on the line. People are so mean 😢

[@lauren-qb9cf]

It gets worse. it seems like that people who are Autistic and disabled don't get paid very much.

[@TheRev142]

After revealing my autism at work, I went from being appreciated and praised for my work to being unemployed. The whole process took 3 weeks and I had been there nearly 3 years. And that’s just at my last job. I’ve been targeted by fellow employees who’ve spread gossip about me, took advantage of my trusting nature to deceive me, bullied by managers (sometimes more than one at a time), and literally fired for asking for reasonable accommodations. I’m so terrified of working now that I can’t even apply for jobs without risking a meltdown. I’m trying to get assistance but now my family is facing the burden of supporting me so I can avoid homelessness (USA viewer here).

[@k91985]

Same I'm in UK but can't go back to work for fear of supervisors bullying (most often these types are younger than me). If you do decide not to go back make sure you ask for fastrack for your disability claims because of struggling

[@the_exiled_soul]

This made me cry … very relatable. I’m very moved. Thank you for what you are doing.

[@michellestudios9593]

What you say at the very end of this is so very important. I’m neurodivergent and that I have ADHD but my son is on the spectrum as is my father brother and most likely two of his three sons. I’ve been studying autism for about 20 years because I’m also a teacher and want to be able to help the children as much as I can. Incidentally, I finally understood that my son was on the spectrum, I think that you are amazing. It is my goal to as many people as possible so that the people that I love can live in the world where they are more understood. I am of course, sharing your videos with my family.

[@TheKyrsisForever]

This is one of the best videos i have ever seen. holy crud. thank you, for speaking out for people like us.❤

[@sarahharas9114]

Thank you for taking a stand! I admire your courage.

[@SumBrennus]

One Autist to another: I admire your courage. I have experienced most of what you outlined and it has left deep wounds as one would expect. I share a similar place of privilege to yours. My closest friends are those who know my diagnosis, can see the person I am with all my 'weird bits.' I also stand up for people of any persuasion under the idea that as long as your are not harming others, you should be free to be who you want to be. Where we do differ is in response. I don't have a job and have stopped looking for one. I don't know what your local social environment is like, but mine is very conservative and change resistant. I'm dual exceptional. There simply are not enough of us to make services designed for us feasible. The population is small here, mostly rural and thinly spread. As a result I have retreated to relative reclusive status. My partner and I are both introverts. In an unrelated piece of personal information: My kids are also both autistic. They are now adults. They live in another city and have good support systems. Our relationship is strained by our mutual lack of socializing self motivation. My son in particular has become a private man. I respect that about my kids and wouldn't change them in the slightest. I tell them and others just how proud I am of their accomplishments. Many is the time I have gone to visit and been able to offer some guidance around their autism related struggles. Other times I have told them that there are particular problems they will face and how I dealt with those. In our family Autism is the norm. In our extended family high academic achievement and professional careers are the norm. Nobody is shamed.

[@theantiskiasystem2260]

Oh gosh how you describe school and the work floor. It was exactly the same for me. Thank you for doing what you do, I love having such an intelligent and outspoken person vouch for autistic rights and for mutual understanding. You approach many topics that I have not yet seen discussed a lot/clearly by other autistic youtubers. And you manage to be concise and give just about the right amount of detail and anecdotes to (I guess) elicit empathy from (I hope) about anyone, without losing my (short) attention span. You are a hero to me. And your beard is awesome.

[@Adam-xd9ws]

Great and accurate video. Strangely, I have that same tattoo on my chest, except it's black and white. My parents acted exactly as you described when I told them I was diagnosed, they still deny it and make excuses such as "I'm just a drug addict, and so on".

[@Nerdcoresteve1]

This makes me even less motivated to seek a diagnosis. I would be so pissed if anyone acted like that to me.

[@Nerdcoresteve1]

Me After watching the whole video: Fuck yeah!!!🤘🤘🤘

[@UnapologeticFranchfries]

You can just say your are Autistic or Neurodivergent, you don’t really need a diagnosis unless you’re seeking therapy

[@thesciencelab1251]

It is a dilemma. Problem is as the video says, NT people can spot, and don’t like, autistic behaviour anyway. Even if I spend a lot of energy masking, I come across as a bit weird, and because of that, I tend not to get taken as seriously as I deserve (it’s taken me a lot of decades to realise that I really am as, or more competent and knowledgeable than the people talking over me).

[@thesciencelab1251]

@@UnapologeticFranchfries if you’re autistic, you’re autistic. For women and people of colour especially, a diagnosis Might not be accessible (if you don’t have the $$$$$$ and access to a State capital where expert clinicians work, you’ll probably get a BPD diagnosis or just told to try harder. Autistic women I know, have been told some egregious bullshit by clinicians with 1950s checklists). So the decision isn’t whether or not to get diagnosed, it’s whether or not to disclose that you’re autistic. Self-diagnosis is valid, but as the video says - if you’re rich and famous, go get a diagnosis and be a role model.

[@marocat4749]

Do , also there is zero requirement to tell anypne you dont want to. Itsjust stos from that question lingering. And good to know. Also you canralk with a trusted friend that doesnt tell that,or a chat or , there are groups where you can task without test qnonym too to rxplore that , internet cough coughwhich you should do

[@Tilly850]

Yeah, the inconvenience of having actual ethics...sucks at times, doesn't it?! The derision for knowing the correct answers...boo on me for being intelligent. I'm 65 and just figured this out a couple months ago. I am self, and sister-diagnosed. My sister who has a master's degree in psychology confirmed it knowing me and our childhood memories. Her son is also on the spectrum. I have made the decision, because I am no longer afraid of being rejected, that I too will speak up and be an example of what autism is like for me. I'm learning to stop being ashamed of who I am and be the authentic me as much as possible. I got out a quiet stim tool when I sat in the dentist chair the other day. It's a quiet one and not disruptive, but it's more "me" to have this in my hand. I am gradually being more open about who I am now that I know. I am in my elder years and will speak up, sir. I will be more cognizant of my masking and gradually people will see. Likely they will think I am eccentric...I imagine that is where the whole idea of the crazy old lady came from. Now we might look back and see that perhaps these people were autistic and just tired of masking. I agree. Those of us who are able need to speak up to teach others when possible. Thanks for saying this.

[@tomduncan2018]

I could watch the last passionate statement of this on repeat for hours.

[@bakakafka4428]

All very recognizable. When I got diagnosed, I told my employer. Immediately I got fired and my manager told me people like me should be 'removed from society'. Similar experiences piled up from public officials when I tried to get help, recognition for my disability, job training etc. Every time this was illegal, but basically I got laughed in my face because they know I can't afford a lawyer. A local youngster working for a left leaning political party, very pro rights for lgbtq etc. told me (not knowing I'm on the spectrum) that it was those autistic people that were the cause of many problems, and that they should be euthanized (we have euthanasia here, but it's not what he meant). And he thought Putin must be an autist. This kind of simplistic hate is to be found everywhere on the internet, and what is basically dominating my daily life as an autist. I no longer speak out except here, where my name isn't visible. I'm not rich enough to be able to afford it. Free speech is for wealthy people. And normies. Like all other basic human rights, it's not not for us. Because, in the mind of most neurotypicals, we're not human.

[@Dancestar1981]

@@bakakafka4428 damned if you disclose damned if you don’t unfairly dismissed from work and even volunteer positions for it. Now being bullied into a form of employment which will pay nothing by those who believe they’re supporting me what an absolute joke. They won’t respect my boundaries when I tell them no. Maybe I actually need to tell them to fk off.

[@bakakafka4428]

@@Dancestar1981 It's the same everywhere it seems. No safe country for us.

[@tracirex]

thanks for standing up and doing something for us

[@LoneDWispOfficial]

Being cleaver and honest, but hated. I know this very well. Through my years on college, I made some achievements that probably just a few could. > Like a professor confess he was wrong and I'm right after 20 years of nobody questioning him. > I create a geological model to fix a weird real case, that came with a mathematical theorem that I discover during the process, that could improve safety for slope in future, but I was discourage hardly by professors. > And now I a create and app all by myself to solve an issue a lot of ppl has on field jobs. > I teach myself to learn English and programming. Regardless of my achievements, all I got is professors that act unethical repressing my behavior through my academic life, no Networking, and on my last job a coworker accused me to sabotage her when i was just doing things right. Just recently on my 29 i got my autism diagnose, and everything made sense. Being autistic means someone that could really help improve the world without thinking on himself, and be punished by it. Because while most o population just want to squeeze all opportunities, usually we are the ones getting hyper focused in something that no one else got interest to push further.

[@Person-ef4xj]

As someone who was diagnosed in early childhood, I unfortunately find that I mask to people who know I'm autistic as even relatives who claim to be accepting of autism only seem to accept the parts of autism they find convenient, meaning that I still feel forced to mask aspects of autism they refuse to accept, such as how I actually feel about certain things.

[@brooke_reiverrose2949]

Brilliant, inspiring, beautiful.

[@davestambaugh7282]

I am self realized after retiring at seventy. At this point in my life I really do not have to please any boss or any team mates. According to what I have read about the condition that I should be dead by now. I will be seventy eight at the end of the month. I have to admit that I would have been in a really bad place if I had discovered before I retired.With out having found my last job I would probably would be living in a tent under a bridge right now.

[@heathergrahame9647]

Oh my god. What a video! Bravo. Champion. I'm not autistic, but I am familiar with the traits of autism because I grew up with a brother who has autism. It has only been in the last few years that I have come to understand why he behaves the way he does. However, I can very much relate to your fears, concerns, and experiences. I have psychic mediumship abilities. I can communicate with people/spirits who are deceased. I, too, have feared revealing this to others lest it frighten them, or they misjudge me as a lunatic, or they exclude me for being "weird". A few hundred years ago, I might be labelled a witch for having such abilities and be burned at the stake. Quite recently, I told my doctor (who has known me for about 6 or 7 years) that I communicate regularly with my deceased mother, and he described this on my medical record as "hallucinations". I said to him, "They're not hallucinations", yet he persisted and said, "Well, that's what we call it". According to my doctor, I am mentally unstable. But your video is so, so, so inspiring. And it spurs me on to be a champion and supporter of autists. I have just got a job working at a high school, helping in classrooms. Many (if not most)(if not all) the boys are autistic to some degree. And I see them flinch, worried about being labelled "wrong", "bad", "retarded", "problematic" or whatever. I love them. Their sincerity is amazing and their spirit is pure. Sure, they don't communicate the way neurotypical people communicate, but, because I have the psychic ability to "tune in" to others, we get along just fine.

[@Tirful]

This is an extremely relatable video - I came up against every single one of the hypocrisies you listed at various points in my life (particularly in workplaces and education). I only got diagnosed last year, well into my adult life, so I had to suffer through all those experiences in confusion and frustration for decades, driven to near-suicidal levels of exhausted depression at many points. Now I have context for all this it's a bittersweet mix of vindicating and infuriating at the realisation I really was suffering from constant discrimination. As a white male westerner, I had so much internalised shame about this feeling because I was always told by others I was privileged and burdened with their assumptions that my life was easy. All this forced me deeper and deeper into masking. I was so scared of losing the one job I found that treated me as a human after several awful ones that I was too fearful to pursue jobs in the field I cared about and was qualified for. I'm still scared now, but I'm determined to climb out of it - I hope to get to a position more like your own where I have the security to really speak up about my experiences and help others avoid going through the torment that people around me called a "carefree youth". For now, I'm still chasing safety. I hope that at least is attainable.

[@AeromancerOffical]

My Story.. I wasn't diagonosed as a child .. I never had the luxury of being diagnosed when I was young and was given the "extra help" at school for being an autist. I was... hated for most of my life. I was the "problem child" the "naughty child" the "loner" and "unsociable one" ...and to be frank my name didn't help.. not only was I bullied both physically and mentally bullied everyday (and I mean everyday!) for not being part of a clique. I was also known as the "Devil Child"... thanks Hollywood!.. I grew up hating myself for simply being me.. simply being this alien man that suffered the indignity of being born on this Planet Earth. I.. failed school.. being nothing more then a drop out to a system that hated me. if I wasn't sporty.. or could recount Pie to some stupid decible...or was popular.. no one cared.. I was interested in music.. I used to sneak Into music class at lunchtimes because I hated the playground with the bullies. and play on the keyboard.. until i was cought for being there.. The head of ART's (which covered music) said he would "make my life a living hell if I picked music as a class option".. so I didn't.. I took business studies instead so that I could the computers at lunchtime. I hated school.. I had no friends (only 2 fairweathered friends that put up with me on their terms) ... College was little better.. less direct bullying.. but still the verbal abuse and the snide comments that I wasn't supposed to hear.. I would still get the occasional "devils child" remark from the sporty "popular" types. I took IT at college.. and I was being talked down to by the teachers who was hand holding people that never switched on a computer before.. and never used a word processor before... College ended with a certificate (which could be passed by a 10 year old) and I was supposed to "look for a job" .. Work was hard.. the choices where do cleaning. do caring or do army... and as i didn't fancy dying on some field (I actually applied for the army.. but wasn't fit enough to pass the click test) I became a carer.. I managed to stick it out for 13+ years before the increasing bureaucracy and bullshit got to me.. and I was unceremoniously sacked for not being a "team player" ... 3 years went by.. trying to get another job, trying to get any job and apart from a few KP jobs.. I struggled to gain employment. The KP work was like being an Olympian doing a triathlon each and every day. Constantly being shouted at for being too slow.. and my developing attitude made me only last a few months before being fired again. I was eventually diagnosed with adult ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) at 36 years old.. and to me the diagnosis is another layer of excuses not to hire me.. and I have to relay on benefits to survive. I still create music.. I have done for years.. I have my own bandname called "Aeromancer" .. for what it's worth. soundcloud.com/theaeromancer

[@k91985]

Same story almost. I didn't make it to college.

[@Dancestar1981]

@@AeromancerOffical neither did I got dual ASD 2 and Combined ADHD diagnosis with stacks of comorbid disabilities at age 42

[@grumpyinbrooklyn6347]

Outstanding video!

[@saminarose6688]

I told my supervisor and she discriminated against me and gave the manager position to someone much less qualified. I can't find a lawyer. 😢

[@shoshanafox727]

I self diagnosed 4 years ago at 61. I won't disclose to an employer or physician. I wouldn't feel safe. I like Knowing what I am because it helps me figure out better how to take care of myself. My friends and close family know I'm autistic. They're all fine with it. I applaud your stand at the end of the video. 🙂👍👍

[@why2goatdagame]

Wind fire 🔥🌪 This dude just became my hero

[@TeamJesusGo]

This made me cry, get angry and feel hopeful and empowered. Thank you! ❤❤❤

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you Berenice. It's the latter 2 that matter the most ❤

[@sophialycouris4293]

thank you so much for this work! so powerful and useful

[@WonHyo69]

Hi Quinn, I really understand where you are coming from with this. I've just been diagnosed at 49 and am dealing with all this now and not very well if I'm honest.

[@Autistamatic]

Hi Rob. Many of us find it difficult to assimilate everything, especially when we've a lifetime of not knowing behind us. Do you have friends or family that are supportive?

[@WonHyo69]

@@Autistamatic My partner and daughter are very supportive and understanding. I am still working out who else to tell as my other family members don't really understand this sort of thing. I have dyslexia also diagnosed and they are not very understanding of that.

[@Autistamatic]

@@WonHyo69 If you haven't already seen it/them I've a playlist about thoughts/feelings/considerations after diagnosis, including disclosure. You might find it helpful: kzbin.info/aero/PL3R_uyUBjsuBuCU5OzUVvrU98Rl2kzgpe There's also a tremendous network of autistic people, many of whom are late diagnosed, on social media. The tag #AutisticElders will put you in touch with older autistic people like myself and #AskingAutistics is a great way to... well... ask autistics about whatever you need to know 👍

[@successlifeskillsservices2544]

It definitely gets better with time and self acceptance as well as self understanding

[@sarageorge8816]

Someone told me a few times that I am using my autism as an excuse. That hurts.

[@Truerealism747]

It's called jealousy from.them

[@Dancestar1981]

@@sarageorge8816 I hate that bs

[@hurricanerae]

I came out after being late diagnosed. I know some people close to me were concerned about me being so open, but I am also advantaged as I had gained respected in my field and am highly valued for my work, so I felt I could take the risk. My partner has taken time to understand, but is doing work to be supportive. My closest family members had already accepted my self-diagnoses years before my formal one. I hope my visibility can help normalize Autism, but I also feel the pressure of being a "good" or "exceptional" autistic person. I worry maybe I'm not someone who should represent the community as I still struggle with many things and am far from being perfect or even likeable sometimes. I also worry about being seen as using autism as an excuse for both real and perceived bad behavior. Anyone else relate?

[@353bandit4]

Nicely put, well created video. I started this process over the last year or so. Its a struggle but its working.

[@neurodiversityalumni]

AWESOME! I loved this video. I agree completely!

[@thekajalflaneur]

That was very powerful. Thankyou. Inspiring and empowering

[@morgyBear711]

I am currently self-diagnosed and I have to say that I was treated along these lines as well long before I was aware of the why of it. People always have condescended to me to a degree and I am certain that it is because I am so very different from others and they just sense it in me. It’s a beautiful thing, these KZbin videos of yours. I’m watching it and I feel safer knowing that you are out there in the trenches (I am a United States Army veteran) fighting for us! Thanks

[@mysticmardi]

Truth... i stand up for myself when people in authority try to take advantage of me ie; landlords. They immediately attack my personality, call me a liar and throw me out of my house...i have lost count how many times this has happened and even to this day. when does this stop? i get so despairing...i don't see it changing and if it doesn't what hope is there? thank you for being speaking up. i guess it isn't just me.

[@Dancestar1981]

@@mysticmardi whenever you stand up to the bullies the arseholes victim blame and call you a liar it’s completely bs

[@Christ_Is_Life10-10]

I don’t tell people I am neurodivergent because most don’t understand what it means.

[@ian_occultist]

Love your videos. My motto is fuck 'em. We're different for a reason. Keep strong x

[@Ar4tic_Blizzard1626]

i remember learning about masking and just feeling frustrated with the concept. hiding aspects of myself, burning my own energy and emotional experiences to the ground, so that i can make people feel more comfortable because they are to insecure or something to accept that not everyone is like them. i dont go around telling every person i see im autistic, and to be honest, i dont really interact with many people right now, but i will never hide it.

[@lynettewhite4829]

Thank you- love your attitude

[@dennisyoung4631]

At 2:45, you were describing being *dehumanized* - seen as lesser, as *Not-Human.* As a disease. Norms believe we are something akin to animals too much of the time - and not good examples, e.g. “pets” (pets know and keep their place as *Neurotypical Extensions* ) but as something closer to particularly *Malevolent* disease vectors - creatures worse than, say, rodents.

[@caitlinroseblaney226]

So, basically what Hitler believed about Jewish people. That makes sense, with the way we’re generally treated.

[@dennisyoung4631]

@@caitlinroseblaney226 no, worse. *Aktion T4. Life-unworthy of life. Useless Feeders.*

[@michaelrainbow4203]

You made me cry. Wow. Thank you for this, friend. Much love

[@Pollergirl]

This was one of the most powerful youtube videos I've ever watched. Thank you for your courageousness and for your awareness and for taking a stand to benefit others. You are helping a lot of people.

[@Spudcore]

Thank you very much for the video.

[@1haroldmr]

Wow, other than learning I am Autistic at 51yo, this is my life story.

[@dcb252525]

Thank you for creating this video. I related to how you have a need to be honest and stand up for people. It is a rare quality and we can feel good about ourselves for having it!

[@KathrineJKozachok]

Thank you for making this video. This needed to be said; but, it also needs to be heard. Now that I understand the mission, I'll do my best!

[@alexkiddonen]

We are the right people in the wrong multiverse. Come on Thanos you know what to do. Btw Quinn, fantastic video. Thank you again.

[@UnapologeticFranchfries]

You always crack me up! I can’t believe you had experience at work all those days inmoral things. All of my life I feel I’ve been facing moral dilemmas too but they been like the type that to most ppl don’t seem like a big deal but for me it’s a matter or principle & point the obvious & being honest but of course I’d be seen like the problematic one 😓

[@Autistamatic]

All of those things have happened. On the other hand I've raised similar complaints with my current employer (over several years) and they've been dealt with appropriately. But it's true I got told not to "rock the boat" after complaining about some very nasty racism and told by another boss they would fire me if I ratted on a sex pest because "he's married and got kids - I don't care if it's true, you'd be ruining a guy's life". I later found out that the guy I'd complained to used to cruise bars with the same married lothario and likely had some dirt on him too. The problem with needing to do the right thing is all the layers of deceit and duplicity we have to peel back before we see people's true motivations. Honesty may be an absolute in many autistic eyes, but it's a remarkably flexible concept to most non-autistic people.

[@UnapologeticFranchfries]

@@Autistamatic yes, definitely, life & social situations can get very complicated like on tv series lol! Just wished that work didn’t have to involve kissing ass and being liked by ppl 😣😓

[@noblestsavage1742]

All those points are true. The trick I’ve found is to play to our strengths, I work in an operating theatre. I generally deal with unconscious people so I can avoid miss understandings😉😂

[@simikatra3434]

Feel this 👏👏 thank you.

[@katzikat4669]

Well, I made a few shitty life choices. I was so bad at school, that the only apprentice ship I could get was from an organisation for autistic people. And since it's in my resume, I can't delete that part out of my life. In the future, whenever I'll look for a job, I won't be able to hide my Autism. The only thing I can do is beg my employer to not disclose my Autism to the other employees, especially since my masking attempt is by simply working. I'm not hurrying, I'm just working without slacking, because I suck at slacking without looking like a slacker, and I'm trying hard to avoid talking about not work specific subjects.

[@StrawmnMcPerson]

thank you for acknowledging your privilege and your intersections 💚💚💚💚💚

[@KayleenWhite-ug4sk]

I’m recently self diagnosed (just after I retired) but have quickly worked out I need to be careful who I talk to about this. I can relate very strongly to what you said about workplace problems: I once threatened to report my employer to a professional ethics body over something, which I thought I had got away with until a few months later I was given an official reprimand on grounds that were so flimsy that HR later quietly took the reprimand off my file. I was lucky with a lot of this (in the 70s and 80s in particular) in that I was then Buddhist, and could use Buddhist values as a cover/“explanation”/mask that allistics were prepared to accept - with lots of ill will, but at least it partly got them off my back.

[@PoundshopJaneway]

Thank you, Quinn 🖖

[@boethius1812]

More power to you. I had no idea how bad and isolating it was.

[@b_b_b5146]

Thank you for this video ❤ Thank you for taking the risk . Stay blessed 😊

[@aborigine3716]

I'm autistic Ukrainian IN Ukraine. My government doesn't acknowledge autism in adults, so they're not letting me out of the country to get help and they're hunting men down on the streets trying to draft men to the army. If they catch someone, the law no longer works for them (that's a sad truth). So "fear" is the name of my existence (can't call it life) the last 3 years.

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for commenting. I haven't spoken to any autists in Ukraine since the 2022 invasion, but I know that autistic folks had a hard time gaining acceptance before. To be autistic in an active wartime environment must be incredibly difficult in ways your compatriots will never appreciate.

[@aborigine3716]

@@Autistamatic thank you very much for the support and understanding.🙏

[@conscript900]

Fears, Frustrations, Annoyances, Ranging from communication, to being overlooked, or written off, To being Completely misunderstood Frequently and constantly and even when using extensive vocabulary trying to explain to people problems said people lack a sufficent lexicon to even begin to understand.... How how about the good old "Oh your autistic you should get along well with other autistic" No just like everyone else shared traits dont me shared functionality and meshing. Course also always afraid ill be put into a position where i cant maintain a line of work because of all of my difficulties, even when im quite capable. And we arnt in the world that used to be where working at the same company will get you a good pention it aint 1950 anymore afterall.... What a long host of things to be afraid or annoyed.

[@Kotifilosofi]

My mum has worked at an unit for the intellectually severely disabled people, and the only exposure she has ever had for autism was from her clients who were autistic _moreover_ being intellectually disabled. Some of the clients were very aggressive, while none of them had functioning communication system with the staff (which was probably the reason some of them were aggressive to begin with). I've always known I'm somehow different from my peers, and during my teens I learnt about autism and felt like it describes me very well. I was relieved to find something finally to relate to, and eager to find out more. But my mum said with the most aggressive tone that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Her response was so absolute that I never got evaluated and struggled socially thorough my studies, which eventually also showed on my grades. Now I'm in my thirties and I'm wondering if I should go and see the doctor. I can manage my life okay nowadays, so I'm sceptical about if the diagnosis would help me by any way, and also I'm worried if it would have some negative effects on me. On the other hand, an event that could be very likely to happen, such as having to change the work place, or some of my work mates changing, could be devastating to me and would again take years to get back to the functional point where I'm at now. I just feel like not knowing what to do.

[@juguerin]

Thank you for this, I needed it.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

I served in Bosnia as an autistic class 1 medic 😅😅

[@carol-lynneodriscoll4604]

Thank you for this video!

[@ArtyAntics]

100% agree, autistic normalisation is necessary. I tell everyone I meet, I don’t care. I’m happy with my amazing traits and struggle with others, but I’m not less than. My brain is brilliant and I like who I am.

[@clausmischker5004]

Holy crap. That certainly illicit tears of pain release for me. I’ve recently been asked in an HR meeting to take a six week payment package terminating my employment from the day I accept thus sign consent, it was further highlighted the non ultimatum, being told, less I remain in the toxic work environment, I will find myself drawn into disciplinary hearings and then dismissed. Asperger’s related dismissal. Manager a while back, asked me, why am I Fucking ODD, to which after I came out of freeze response, I disclosed I had Asperger’s. Grave mistake. Managers dislike for me increased. Since under her management, it had been beside unpleasant, I was kept on close to a year as a casual, thus under earning & unable to feed myself. Hence the need for permanent. Higher up management acknowledged my overlook and promoted me, communicating it shouldn’t have taken as long, after all my customer service hasn’t gone unnoticed, thanking me for my hard work and patience. I had articulated with higher management although I need the position and income, it may prove difficult to work as permanent under current management since her mannerism is to give the opposite to one’s preferences aka an upfront blueprint to getting the best functionality out of me since after all I wanted to perform at my best. Context, manager had highlighted to upper management I had Asperger’s, so on signing permanent documentation I was recommended to be transparent and that meant together a list of my characteristics to be made use of advantageously to benefit the work/team. That entire list, I got the opposite, true to the managers nature to do so. The managers pettiness and singling me out became all too much, written warning for that which her entire team do frequently, being late, yet since friends and her need to be liked she overlooks and allows. And at times their lateness has been documented close to 5hrs late. Her gunning for me, had it made unpleasant for the team since upper management offered me opportunity to take up a grievance with management, document everything, saying this in front of management, while she signed on behalf me for a written warning, in same breathe by upper management telling me not to be too concerned since after all there would have to be disciplinary intervention prior any firing thus its not as bad as I perceive it to be. It was more the false accusations of ‘late coming’ & awareness management cold intentions to have me removed. And boom HR meeting. I’ve wanted to vouch for never again disclosing Asperger’s. And I’m not as privileged hence tears, I’m unemployed female, 40, few almost no friends. Mother and gran are dead. I’m more fucked than Fucking ODD. Thank you for this video. Unlike society at large, I’m happy to take you literally regardless all the years and of course, at last place employment highlighted I shouldn’t take things literally, then why do people speak, so to lie, manipulate and cheat under each others noses and yet still rather curry favour and befriend those on the unsavoury side such as themselves, governed by ones emotions thus out of feelings its relatable for them to behave and befriend each other. Yet I’m labeled Fucking ODD.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

I was the kid no one wanted in their team. But I was in a UK winning Pegasus full kit and stretcher team, fo e Nijmegen marches and half marathons and the Gibraltar rock race. I challenged my fears 😊. Most of my bullies couldn’t do what I did. The competitions I did got banned

[@BluezzEh]

^5 Thank-you from those of us who aren't in the same position and can't risk it.

[@victoryartist1641]

I listen to this and all I can think of is the movie series divergent. At frist it was thought that these people would break down society. Then it looked like the divergent was the hero’s of society going to solve all its ills. Then it concluded that the divergent just had apart in it just like everyone else. Basically we are all ( all human’s ) amazing!

[@zktoons8740]

Well, I haven't disclosed at work that I belong to the spectrum, I just say that I have anxiety issues. I play D&D and felt like I had to tell the DM after I had a bad reaction towards a player's loud swearing, just to let him know that if I went mute in character I just needed a few minutes to process the yelling. I regret it so much, he got drunk and told everyone in the party.

[@kyleethekelt]

Abnormal doesn't exist. In fact, we homosapiens need our diversity in order to survive. Bravo! 🥂🥂

[@wintermatherne2524]

Not sure if I’m in the spectrum or not, but I can relate. I refuse to deal with ignorant people. The very millisecond I get the incling that somebody is ignorant with an arrogant bent, I lose respect and disregard like the common garbage they are.

[@matturner6890]

Fuck yea bro

[@StateoftheMatrix]

People are annoyed by category expansion as it's threatening to norms. The problem is evidently taking it out on the individuals. it certainly does feel like we're heading towards a 51% attack. I have to tell people that it's not just the young, that it's all age groups that are getting diagnosed, maybe not nonagenarians and centenarians🤷🏻‍♂️ With the crisp notion of neurotypical and such an extensive list of particulars for "being on" the spectrum, it's a great way to draw in more to the notion. Once we reach diagnostic saturataion and we get diminishing returns on the up and to the right trajectory, the next step is to be inclusive of all those who failed to get diagnosed or would fail if they bothered but for whom an affinity with autistic traits has the potential of becoming part of their identity.🤔

[@taras3702]

I suspect I may indeed be autistic, given I seem to fit many of the criteria for a diagnosis. Certainly the way others reacted to me over the years fit. But I don't feel fear, I feel anger over the way assholes feel they are entitled to treat me as less than a person.

[@Ottophil]

Thank you