Autistic Burnout: What It Looks Like

Talking about burnout and realizing that it was affecting me as I film. The resulting video shows how I behave and communicate without acting or masking.
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[@idlewildwind]

Maybe it's because I'm also autistic, but I prefer your non-masking voice and communication style to your "video persona".

[@lizzytruitt6193]

Yes 🙌 ❤ it helps me to not feel so alone. This is relieving

[@neeyatsaaf]

Same here

[@catrionamcloughlin6937]

I totally agree. I think that the constant gushing performances that we see can - fittingly enough - add to burnout, or at least certainly don't feel good when you're in it, because it reminds us of the degree of labour that people have to put into that performance to be apparently valued, in the echoed gushing comments regarding them. NDs think in visuals, so we can see how strained these efforts are, I believe more so than NTs can.

[@valentia1752]

I was thinking the same, also autistic

[@rsinclair689]

I had the same thoughts, I actually like her unmasked. (Aspie myself) She's very incitefull and real. If people don't accept you as you are then they have the problem.

[@rhyanonstuddert7384]

Sensory over load of nothing. That's an excellent way to put it. It's exactly what it feels like. You don't even know why you're feeling so bad.... it's just everything.

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

@Rhyanon Studdert Another way of putting it is: 'autistic burnout' is like the accumulation of 'stuff' you're supposed to acknowledge, process and deal with on a daily basis, BUT are incapable/less capable of doing so. The reason being, this requires a mindset and a skillset that most autistic people either don't possess, or have a hard time developing it. With time, as you keep immersing yourself in all of life's challenges, you will automatically develop a way of dealing with that 'stuff'. This newly learned method is usually something that helps you out (for the most part), but of which you don't fully understand WHY and HOW it works. It's like teaching a giraffe how to swim, which it miraculously succeeds in, yet it doesn't resonate on a deep level, for it isn't natural behavior to them. Cheers!

[@brianmeen2158]

I think there’s always something that we are sending. I can take my dog for a walk in town and feel sensory overload kicking in halfway through. It’s awful

[@gabsc0]

I’m currently in burnout/meltdown and this video made me feel seen. I hate this society because it’s not made for us but at least I can come on here and know that I’m not alone.

[@pandapuffzee8255]

I hope you are feeling better.

[@lbellchambers]

To see you masked, and then unmask, was really valuable for me. Seeing that when you were unmasked, you were communicating your emotions and personality and were 100% a real person, really helped me. Sometimes I feel like unmasking will mean that noone will see me as human any more, and that I am less than human. So it's so good to see a real life demonstration that this just isn't true. Thanks so much for posting this.

[@nataliefoxmartin]

I love that you pushed through this to post this and still used your footage. This is what I look/sound like too and I think it’s important to see others like yourself.

[@nnylasoR]

“This is what it is.” I WISH more content creators were this real. Burn out / shut down SUCKS to go through, but it’s invaluable that you kept it raw for us to witness and commiserate. Thank you. ❤️‍🔥

[@DanaM18129]

Omg!!!!! I am autistic and I have seasonal depression too. When the sky is cloudy and I can't see the sun it affects my body and mind so much!

[@kristenjackson713]

Do you see a seasonal pattern with your burnout, too? I have realized it has hit me multiple times in October, including right now, and I don't seem to have any control over it.

[@elvislumade]

It does its so fascinating tho

[@sabserab]

I like your unmasked self ❤ it's like looking into a mirror cause I can relate. Yet I have a hard time accepting myself. I still have a long way to go

[@myworldautistic6839]

Hun, please don't mask for camera. The real, authentic you is who you are. We love you, the real you.

[@patrickmcdonough7008]

Some really good insights! Build up of negative emotional experiences. Feel misplaced. The coping skills don't work anymore. Sensory over load. Living in a world that doesn't accomodate autism very well. Glad you shared this!! Need rest myself today. thank you.

[@yasmeenamzk]

I’m impressed that you managed to do your make up and hair whilst feeling this way, something I struggle with lol

[@neeyatsaaf]

Really appreciate your unmasked voice and prefer it. Thank you for being.

[@sakyrubio6308]

I am dealing with an awful mix of things right now: Autism burnout, c-ptsd, chronic pain, untreated (due to my country's health-care services) epilepsy, what might be fybromialgia and...a couple more things (not to mention that i cannot even stand 90% of the time, much less walk, do to pain+old injury (mostly pain)) I. Am. Tired Edit: i forgot to write what i wated to write in the beginning meaning....I Feeeeeel you, i feel you so much, i hope you'll feel better soon-ish.

[@SerenEnfys]

Gosh, I can only imagine your experience... I hope you get everything you need!

[@sakyrubio6308]

@@SerenEnfys thank you so much! I hope so too

[@JacobMoen]

It's the unbearable nothingness of being. When it coincide with winter depression it can be a brutal experience. I guess it is to even out the good times of hyper focus and super clarity. Thank you for making me feel less alone :)

[@ForgetfulHatter]

most of the time i'd wake up happily with what i can only call a flame in my heart. lately and recently. it isn't there. I sorta slump out of bed and drag myself to do most things. starting to realize this might be my form of Autistic Burnout.

[@themela9showwithfulaniyira338]

I’m breaking myself from masking. I’m determined to Be my natural self. I’m changing the view of myself with these resources I have. There is nothing wrong with me. The Universe made me this way for a reason and I accept and allow it.

[@wiley3840]

Whoa. I’m 52 and I just had an epiphany. (Amongst a lot of mental health symptoms) I have been dealing with this all my life. I think I was dealing with it today-I just didn’t feel like being productive. It was taking me forever to get things done and I was spacing out a lot. Yesterday I had a very productive day and I worked hard. Now I understand. Thank you so much for explaining what autistic burn out is. I’ve heard the term a lot but now I understand how it applies to me. It’s so nice to be liberated from the idea that I’m lazy.

[@andromeda1903]

I'm not into it today... this has been my life for a long time now...

[@ledguy315]

Seeing and hearing someone who is exactly like myself, explaining things identically to me is interesting. I don't honestly think I've ever related to another human so much. Thank you for this video.

[@AbolishTheATF]

The sun going behind the clouds part resonated with me so hard, seasonal depression sucks

[@davekronlund2361]

I watch many people on the spectrum speak about being autistic and have learned much about my own struggles, but your sharing while in the throes of burnout brought more connection. I felt as if you were speaking directly to me, I could feel your pain. Thank you for soldiering through the debilitation and sharing.

[@Somebodysomewheresometime]

My job is on camera. I have to look pretty, be fun and happy and entertaining. I was bullied mercilessly as a child for being fat and ugly and now I’ve got a job where I’m a “model” on the internet on a live stream. I’m self employed. I did t know I was autistic until a few days ago honestly. Life has been trauma since before I was born. I wondered why I work one day and just shut down. It’s horrible for my finances. Horrible for my mental - ugh why did I do this to myself. This is so damn eye opening! Even in the beginning you said, I’m just not into this - every day girl! Every day practically I work, I say this. I have to look at it as an acting job- I never realized I was masking- wow Subbing - ty so much❤

[@Mardemat27]

I went through a period of time where I did not make it to work on time for days on end, I would come home and collapse and sleep, and repeat. The work I was doing then was incredibly busy during that time, and I had personal matters which required more attention than I suspect anyone would have been able to give even under the best circumstances. I would just like to say that you being able to prepare to make this video, let alone pushing through and making it, is a tremendous accomplishment. I don’t think I’d have been able to do it during a particularly difficult burnout period. Please know that what you’ve managed to do is recognized and appreciated-and thank you for being a voice in the first place, as well.

[@reallifeanswers9764]

I understand this issue. I'm a nurse's aide and I'm really going through it lately because the residents have gotten so wild. It's honestly a lot to keep up with it all and handle. I come home ready to quit. Don't get me wrong, I love my residents. It's the only reason I'm still there. Btw, God job being honest. That took guts.

[@terraverlage6834]

Really appreciate the honesty, and rawness and vulnerability & consequent "honesty" of this video. THANKYOU for posting it. You are awesome❗

[@filliamfuffman]

Treat yo self! I didn’t even know what masking was until recently. Probably been doing it my whole life. Thanks for the video.

[@ostbey]

Your video is extremely liberating, to see that you give in to your needs instead of continuing to try to correspond to the demand of performance. This is the best and most beautiful example of self-love and self-caring and setting of healthy boundaries I've ever seen! It is a great example and you are being an awesome role model! Your honesty is extremely endearing, loveable, and most attractive. Reminds me of Brené Brown talking about the courage to be vulnerable which is a precondition for love and successful relationships. You definitely have it all. Admirable! Thank you!!

[@midnightmule2626]

saw this 10 months ago, really needed to see it today, thank you so much for posting :)

[@SamGiles]

Thank you for this video, sincerely. My burnout started a couple of days ago and it's been particularly difficult. Still, videos like this (despite the fact it was uploaded two years ago) certainly help. Again, thank you.

[@markshepardsongs]

This explains so much. Thank you. The disconnection and the feeling of impending crashing and burning...

[@rachelreadingart]

Love your honesty about this, much better than a perky video on burnout actually. Thank you

[@babybirdhome]

I’m really grateful to see you just being real here - I’ve seen a lot of videos _about_ autistic burnout but it’s a lot more helpful to me to actually _see_ a slice of it. I feel for you and I’ve been there. I hope you’re better and caught up again soon. It’s really rough to deal with.

[@tomsale5142]

Do you have pain with your burnout ime not sure in autism if fybromyalgia migraine is burnout

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

Thank you for sharing. The sun thing frustrates me so much, im in the UK and its been raining for AGES! It physical hurts and so does being cold. Im trying to get a councillor but its probably a long wait as I was assessed last week. I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD a couple of years ago when I was 38 and ive now been burnt out for a over 2 years. Im only managing basic stuff some of the time. It often feels like torture just exisiting. Take care and thanks again for sharing x

[@yourlittlehelper8778]

I just have this right know, thank you for talking about it. It’s comforting me while sitting in the sun.

[@tzimpel]

Looks like I am a bit late here, but I feel you so very much. I am constantly on the edge of burnout. Oh and by the way, I also really like, if not prefer, your unmasked autistic self, although I didn’t look at many of your other videos yet. It is so authentic, honest and in a positive way raw that I get really emotional, and really feel seen.

[@malinelin91]

Seeing your burnout video, during my own burnout, on a monday. Wow the inception-feeling is strong right now 😵‍💫

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Every true autistic that watches this video really ought to like it, just for being so artfully accurate, if anything. 😊 Your videos are delightful and sincere. I'm very grateful to have found your channel. Please don't stop making videos. ✨ I love how this video organically became what it needed to be. By not forcing anything, it turned out to be the right thing for the content, itself. So, double thumbs up lol! 👍🏼😁👍🏼

[@esk8jaimes]

Thank you, for your honesty with this, showing your true burnt-out self does take courage.

[@lisanorwoodtreefarm]

Thank you for sharing, this info has been a big help

[@ericwofford1896]

Actually, you're good doing what you do on camera when non masking. I felt that when you dropped the act, got up and said you're not feelin it. That hit hard for me personally....can so relate. I'm glad I stumbled across your channel. I'm 41 and have always felt like I've been putting on an act half of my life with people. In retrospect and after a year of research I'd bet $1000 I'm on the autistic spectrum but was just never diagnosed. Thank you for articulating a lot of what I and others are feeling. You're an inspiration.

[@midnightmule2626]

Brilliant! Kudos and thanks for posting. Take care of yourself, enjoy the cats ...

[@TheDaddiestBear]

Thank you for sharing.

[@Mr.InnerWorldWide]

thank you for sharing this video still. you're the best

[@Prudentsnow]

Thanks for this video. I realized I have this so many times (I can't even count) but never knew this was a burnout. I was telling myself I just had to get over it, and then resulting in a crash at the end of the day. The more I get to know about autism, the more examples I get which I recognize myself in. I thought this was completely normal and everybody has this, because my girlfriend also has this. But as she is getting diagnosed for ADHD, I begin to think it's more common in ND people. Again, thank you very much for this content! P.s. I'm thinking about getting a diagnosis for Autism.

[@nonamelegend_vapor]

First of all, other than being a man, this is like looking in a mirror lol. Second, the part about being involved in your community is super legit. I'm a rec soccer coach and i love doing it for many reasons, serving the community among them, but as a coach, people need you to be persistent, honest, loud, empathetic, knowledgeable, and observant, which means i really get to be me a lot haha 4:33 i feel like i kind of intrinsically understood this for a long time, but always presented it to myself in an unhealthy way, as though it were a deliberate attempt to sabotage expectations so i could get away with being lazy. Like, it's harder to fail if people expect less of you, but when you're smart/gifted in certain areas, it's hard to set expectations lower in others in a healthy way

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

@nonamelegend For starters, the part where you went, "which means I really get to be me a lot" totally cracked me up. 😂😂😂 Further, my experience is that it's all a matter of managing/regulating your own personal well-being. Just like anyone else should do. Except with autistics this requires putting emphasis on different triggers and stressors, as well as tending to them in a different way. Lowering your expectations in certain areas may feel like taking a step back, but it will serve you big time in the long run. Lowering expectations has nothing to do with being a failure of some sorts. It's about knowing and deeply understanding yourself and adapt accordingly. Which, ultimately is a very SMART thing to do. I mean, you never hear an olympic long distance runner say, "I've sustained a couple of serious injuries over the last couple of years which I'm still grappling with, but hey! If I have to run a marathon tommorow, I will." "If I were to lower my expectations right now, I'd feel dumb, stupid, like I'm a total failure." Instead they may feel extremely disappointed and taken aback. Or they may ask themselves, why me? Or how exactly did this come about? Or what should I do differently next time around, without overexerting myself? Or I wish I could partake in the olympics so bad, etc. If life, in this analogy, is like a long distance run, you should always make sure you come well prepared. Know what to do, and what not. Where your limitations are in any given situation, on any given day. I you have to skip 'training' because it's just one of those days, just do. We're all wired differently. And one is not better or worse than the other. It's just different. So it will consequently require different methods and different strategies. That's all there is to it, imo. The only reason the word 'lazy' even pops up in your head is, because society generally only tends to accomodate for a certain subset of people who think, feel and act in a certain way. Anyone that even mildly falls short of that description, is considered 'different', 'weird', 'strange'. People tend to say, autistics are people on the spectrum'. Well, then I got news for the whole of humanity: WE'RE ALL ON THE SPECTRUM. Which means: we're all wired differently. It's just this tendency of wanting to shoehorn everyone in a box of some sorts that creates these notions. To me, it all starts with this: It's about accepting and feeling unashamed of the nature of you, and consequently 'highlighting' and 'dimswitching' your way through life and its challenges in a way that suits the essence of you. And which, in the long run, does the best job of keeping you sane, alive and kicking. And that last word, you especially, could take very literally ⚽ Keep up the good work! Cheers! ✌

[@mria524]

When I decided to unmask and just be my natural self, i started hearing and seeing more whispering at work, but it's only because I don't care anymore.

[@TentoesMe]

I spent about 2 years in autistic burnout. I think just too many life changes happened in a year. Also, may I say, you are rocking the Wednesday look!

[@themela9showwithfulaniyira338]

This video have me cracking up! I get burned out from having to regulate myself for white society and I am African American too! I am burnt out from Racism, etc. White ppl just as sick as me and have the nerve to terrorize me, lol, thank God I’m a comedian and can write my thoughts into jokes, lol. This video triggered this thought…thanks Esther Hicks! I found this video! It’s okay #ABO (AutisticBurnOut), I am human.😜❤️🧠😂😭🤣♾️‼️🔥 #autisticblackwoman

[@Warlie80]

Thank you so much for the video. It's great and it scares me a little how familiar it is to me. I remember the moments when I realized that after what I'm doing, I'll be so negatively exhausted that, in fact, I'll no longer function. The mask still has to be operated on the back burner and somehow it works, but I hate this state so much. Interestingly, the same applies to projects that get hyperfocus and are pushed ahead excessively until the body tells you that you have to stop having a distantly similar feeling (one and a half day was the longest and yes, you shouldn't do it) You feel similarly exhausted and unable to act, but as soon as your eyes look in the same direction again and you see your work, you feel so good. I find this contrast weird and it shows me how much the quality of the event affects this state. The whole thing is so obvious that I haven't thought about it yet. XD Can anyone understand that?

[@lachilotita1]

Hola!! Gracias, leerte me hace tan bien (no se ingles), no me siento tan sola en este mundo.

[@captainpapership1892]

So relatable - not being able to mask anymore at a certain point. Thanks for posting this. You are usually very good at masking in your videos though. Much better than I am (and I'm not even sure if I have autism). My job requests me to be a socially competent person. Do you have any tips how to get better at masking or learning to be more socially competent? How did you learn to become that good at masking?

[@Nightwacther203]

Thank you

[@frimi6023]

The worst on an autistic burnout in my experience is the dread of helplessness. Despite all the effort in self-awareness, self-care, adaption skills, high performance masking, it's still not enough to prevent it.

[@SuperHappyNotMerry]

00:47 oof I understand that feeling too well. for me it's like a realization that I _can't_ do something I thought I didn't _want_ to do. I confuse the two a lot.

[@brendacapriotti1959]

i came across this video because i was looking up burnout. I don't have autisium but I can totally relate to all the burnout symptoms, and the seasonal symptoms. I feel all of this.. trying to figure it all out.

[@octoberdawn1087]

Oh wow. I relate to the voice thing. I have a weird voice too and I have to use a microphone when I do videos. It hurts for me to get high enough and loud enough to sound normal long enough to record anything.

[@alihayman3834]

I'm 27 was late diagnosed autistic last year September at 26 and the burnout has been terrible since my diagnosis. I masked my autistic traits really well according to my therapist/psychologist

[@EmanuelaMasia]

I think I’m going to translate close captions for some of your video ‘cause there’s so little resources in Italian and certainly not useful as your personal experience (so similar to mine)

[@aeonlives]

This is exactly how I have been feeling for about 2 months straight now.. even just getting out a cohert sentance lately is hard.. I call it "not being able to word" it feels like a effort to speak and find the right words and have so much brain fog its been hard to do anything, i just want to go back to sleep i just feel so overwhelmedand burnt out. I suspect I might be on the spectrum after taking a few tests that suggested I be screened for it as there was 98% probability and i got 138 on RADDS-R and a 33 on the AQ test.

[@thekajalflaneur]

Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.

[@petercorinth33]

I've come across your youtube video today and when you unmasked I started to cry because it made me feel seen and I can completely relate. Thank you

[@kathryncollins8708]

This is so me. No idea if I am autistic at 58. I do have cptsd. When I get real like this, people want to know if I am okay. It's easier to mask than to know what to say because I myself am confused and am overwhelmed 24/7 really.

[@kr0nekxg347]

EXACTLY, i relate to this alot

[@ixchellovesrainbows4965]

I just found you and I've subscribed I realised I am Autistic this week.

[@AeraYoo]

Wow for some reason watching you made me flashback to how I used to be on camera cuz my dad would want me to do stuff on camera and I could tell looking into a camera and masking was so hard for me. It feels so fake and I loved when you dropped your mask because I saw how I really feel most days where deep down I’m not this super bubbly person I project. I unmask around my husband and he sees my blehhh self and I love it because I don’t have to pretend with him. Yay for autism unmasking! Who needs to put on an act anyways 🤣

[@livingandhealingwithmcs]

I've been in this for a year and greatful but hateful might be the best way to explain the storm of feelings... I lost my camera mask and therefore I keep prosponing coming out. I think it will be a voice over with people looking at my back😂🙈Thanks for beeing real🙏

[@sierrabaer4972]

I think I was misdiagnosed. I think I’m autistic but I don’t have any support system. I told my partner I thought I was autistic and he laughed. I think I just mask too well. My family wouldn’t take it seriously either…. I don’t know what to do.

[@celiapierinelli1763]

Take your time to do the process, i have a hard time to feel valide in my behavior, I was always looking for excuses, I'm learning not to do it anymore and to attract people like me, who understand me, it's so hard to know how not to hide when you've been doing this your whole life. you are valid in what you feel, take your time to make a diagnosis. at the end of our life, we don't want to think that we have lived for others. i hope you will find your true self, much love from france ❤️

[@LoreEclectic]

You could talk to a therapist about it and see if they can refer you to get a diagnosis. Not everyone has the resources to get a diagnosis though so simply doing more research and understanding not only how autism effects you but how you can cope with the negative while embracing the positive

[@gamergate2.0andbooks]

When I'm feeling down like right now i start to act like everything is my fault and as someone who is doing a fair share of research about autism and how i autism through pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified

[@mono45112]

The thing is, the second you stopped playing, I fell in love with you, thats why we care abou real people so much. You are loveable as you are, 100%, I hope You know that.

[@redpalex]

I feel you.

[@forestsunset9617]

I have Aspergers and get exactly the same when the sun goes in. I get a sinking feeling and my mood drops. Thought i was the only one.

[@work_in_progress161]

Have you considered a SAd lamp

[@olivhood]

your pain is going throught my screen. Are you better now ?

[@vickioxenham7032]

❤️

[@Wakeup-An-In-Light]

So this whole time I didn't know about Autism Burnout WT I been going through that since I been alive to present, I want try Microdosing Ayahuasca but I can't afford $100 a month supply, am bum on out

[@jjcaddillac]

Treat yo' self!!

[@rfishrfish4242]

STOP MASKING JUST BE YOU,,,,..

[@stfuyoutube423]

i get burnt out from school work

[@sierrabaer4972]

I mask my voice constantly otherwise everyone says I sound like a b

[@liz2saintvideos]

Can autistic burnout come from doing too many things (I have aspergers syndrome and I've been able to successfully hold down a part-time job but I've been trying to make the time to invest in getting a driver's license but I've been studying to the point of burnout while my neurotypical nephew bought his own car yet makes absolutely no effort whatsoever to try to learn to drive it and would rather park his ass in front of the laptop or his phone and play video games and gamble or buy useless junk from Amazon, while my poor brother also neurotypical continues to pay his phone bill and car insurance) and I was able to invest in classes at the red cross to be a licensed babysitter and a certificate in workplace communication and thought I could handle online classes at College of southern nv but ended up withdrawing due to burnout and I'm starting in-person classes in the spring semester while suppressing my jealousy of my nephew for owning his own car

[@liz2saintvideos]

Did I forget to mention I've also attempted remote volunteer work from home & was hoping to improve my placement test scores 😞

[@ahmad_elabdullahcuz]

Your beautiful

[@jandenijs7337]

Can we have the lockdowns back, please?

[@monkiesbanana321]

I thought everyone is like this

[@jeremynicoletti9060]

This is kinda relatable... Am I ...

[@ktom5262]

You are very cute.😍

[@Epke1174]

a little too accurate

[@andyclausen5521]

Really upset. About the "churches"..... Leaders are so mighty 😉 The drug: Having power. .....

[@chessgame00]

Dassa lotta make up and clothing choice for no energy.

[@unfree.radical]

When the task of life is performative, burnout feels like the standard state.