WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?? | Actually Autistic TikToks

I'd love to post more frequently on this channel because I have WAY too many ideas! To make the possible, I've started a Patreon. If you join, you'll get get 2 exclusive videos a month and access to the Discord server, even on the lowest tier:
/ imautisticnowwhat
🐌 If you want to learn more about the Patreon & Discord community, I have a video tour! 🐌: • Introducing... THE ANT...
Diving into the land of TikToks for a third time! I'm proud (?) of myself...
00:00 It's Actually Autistic TikTok time
00:11 That's not Autism...
02:29 What people think self-diagnosis is...
08:48 This is BS
12:20 THIS IS GROSS SORRY
14:40 Why I don't make sandwiches
18:27 Uh oh SMALL TALK
23:05 YOU ARE NOT AUTISTIC
27:00 Why are ADHDers like this??
💛 WATCH NEXT 💛:
More Actually Autistic TikToks:
• Autistic Person Reacts...
Funny AuDHD TikToks:
• Painfully Relatable Ne...
What to do if you think you might be autistic:
• So you think you might...
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism:
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
The TikToks:
www.tiktok.com/@venusfrogtrap...
www.tiktok.com/@_thislineismi...
www.tiktok.com/@chloeshayden/...
www.tiktok.com/@bussy.megatro...
www.tiktok.com/@_thislineismi...
www.tiktok.com/@jeremyandrewd...
www.tiktok.com/@paigelayle/vi...
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
*Links with a star are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you and any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories in the comments.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Thank you so much for joining me as we brave the TikToks again! I've still not downloaded the app😅If there's anyone you think I should check out on there, let me know for next time! And if you have any video requests, feel free to leave them in the comments 💛 In the meantime, you might enjoy... More Actually Autistic TikToks: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gGHQkGycqZaKq9E Funny AuDHD TikToks: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m2XdXoqKoJWnn7c What to do if you think you might be autistic: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYKUYWWtr9aUjrs

[@erkinalp]

Hey Meg, can you make a video on the accomodations you have in your home, if there is any?

[@philswift791]

Research binders, yeah I have them.

[@jeanetteg83]

I don't have tik tok or twitter. Never tried.

[@lynseyb1]

Thank you for all your videos, im convinced I have adhd and autism based on my research and the quizzes youve also recommended. OS many things are clicking into place and making sense, things ive never even considered were autistic traits i do that actually are. So i will be looking into a formal diagnosis x

[@gejost]

It's confusing to me because Incan literally see your ADHD. I have a very hard time seeing your autism. My bias is, I have ADHD. Your autistic traits aren't blatant. I have no experience knowing people are autistic and not seeing the blatant traits. I get your chaos. Your order? Well, I don't care what color my many now discarded lists were. I also don't have texture issues

[@madberry]

There is a brochure from the Washington University’s autism center I love to quote when people question why I and many others in the autism community accept self diagnosis. “In our experience at the University of Washington Autism Center, many professionals are not informed about the variety of ways that autism can appear, and often doubt an autistic person’s accurate self- diagnosis. In contrast, inaccurate self-diagnosis of autism appears to be uncommon. We believe that if you have carefully researched the topic and strongly resonate with the experience of the autistic community, you are probably autistic.” This sums it up perfectly.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Amazing!! I’ve taken a screenshot of that. Thank you for sharing 💛

[@madberry]

@@imautisticnowwhat Your welcome, I’ve been sharing it where ever I can all over the internet. I first saw the quote in a video and I’ve been sharing it ever since.

[@v_bunny]

my friend is autistic and his experiences seemed to line up with mine to a very scary level. i did loads of research after that and made a big google doc of memories from childhood that relate to autistic traits, and i just knew that i’m autistic. now at age 20 i was able to get a diagnosis and yep i’m definitely autistic. i’ve never met someone who does a self diagnosis for attention, and everyone i’ve come across who’s autistic (or thinks they are) it’s become so easy for me to tell they are! plus a diagnosis is really expensive and a privilege, and can sometimes be more damaging to have on health records. though for someone like me, i can’t go through life debating whether it’s in my head or if it’s true.

[@madberry]

@@v_bunny For me it was a cousin that got the diagnosis. This cousin and I had very similar traits so it was pretty clear for me even before the research. I got the diagnosis because I wanted to know instead of wonder as well. I’ve always said autism isn’t a fun or glamorous thing to have I can’t imagine why someone would want to fake it. In my opinion mental health needs to be free everywhere. In addition the long waiting lists should be reduced. Someone shouldn’t have to be in crisis to get the help they need right away. The acceptance and removal of the stigma needs work as well. But that will be a long road that needs many voices and hands.

[@v_bunny]

@@madberry i agree! it’s gonna be a long time and take a while before we can make these big steps with mental health support, which is unfortunate. and no autism isn’t very great to live with. i still try to see upsides to it but there’s so many moments where my autism screws me over

[@lorrygoth]

I remember the first time someone asked me how I was and I told them, and they explained that they didn't really care and I shouldn't go into detail and it crushed me a little.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

That’s so mean!! If they don’t care, they shouldn’t ask. Sorry that happened 😫

[@lizardpoo8524]

They sound horrible

[@avr7120]

i think its also cultural, here you would openly tell if youre not so great and get a chance to commiserate. If you dont want to know you just dont ask

[@dmgroberts5471]

I fail rhetorical questions in general. Me: "Well, actually the...that was rhetorical, wasn't it?" I also can't really lie, so if someone asks how I'm doing when I'm not doing good, that's going to be a very awkward downer moment. I've recently took to saying, "I can't complain, 'they' won't let me," which comes across as a joke, so everyone's happy. Figuratively speaking.

[@Otakuparade]

May I attempt to do a re-do on this memory so you'll have a better one? Let's pretend this is the first time someone is asking! "Hey, Lorrygoth! It's been awhile. I'm a bit tired and burned out lately, but okay; How have you been?"

[@lezbhonest6592]

I wish people would understand that when adults are thinking they are autistic it’s not because we think we’re special or unique, it’s the opposite. It’s we’ve identified a group of people who’ve shared our experiences and we realize we aren’t unique. That there are millions of people going through what we are

[@loverrlee]

I swear it’s just another way neurotypical people make fun of us for being “weird” or “attention seeking” (as if wanting any amount of attention wasn’t totally human) or my personal favorite, “She thinks she’s better than us.” Well that’s rich because I never once said that I think I’m better than anyone else but they assume what I think and then tell me what I think. I feel like this is a similar situation where they accuse us of thinking we’re “special snowflakes” as if this was something we WANTED, when in reality we’ve just never been accepted by any group we’ve ever found ourselves in and are always excluded and the butt of the joke and all we’ve ever wanted was to desperately NOT be “special.” 😢

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes there really are

[@stellarose2938]

@@loverrleeI relate to what you said so much. Learning about autism has been like a lightbulb went off in my head and finally I understand why I am the way I am; why I’ve always felt stuck on the outside looking in, never knew how to make or maintain friendships, been excluded and made fun of and had people accuse me of being rude when that was never my intention. I’m also easily overwhelmed by crowds and I’m abnormally sensitive to smells and loud noises. I don’t tell people I think I might be autistic because I want to be treated like I’m special, but rather so they can understand my struggles and maybe not hate me for them. I’m not asking for special treatment; just understanding. I try my best to fit in and not ask people to cater to me, but this stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. I have to work really hard at it.

[@loverrlee]

@@stellarose2938 I completely understand and I personally know how that feels too. Sometimes all we want is to be understood. ❤️

[@Some_Joker]

I knew nothing of ASD till recently doing research on it. It all makes sense why Im like this. I certainly don't want to be autistic but I have to face all the negative emotions I am going through. But also feeling even more isolated due to the fact other people will think I'm not autistic. It's left me feeling even more alone.

[@ForestRain44]

I have always been very socially awkward. Years ago I did research into autism to see if I might be autistic. It didn’t take me long to realize that autism did not fit my traits and experiences. (I did learn a lot about autism, which is good.) Therefore, when someone does the research and feels quite confident in diagnosing yourself as autistic, I believe them. It is not like everyone who researches it becomes convinced that they have it.

[@verabunjaku1813]

I've actually wondered the same thing before for the same reason and I don't really think autism fits my traits either, so if you don't mind me asking, did you ever find an explanation? Ofc not necessarily a diagnosis but either that or a reason in general for the social awkwardness and such?

[@Gorgonzeye]

My wife called the criteria a 'horoscope'

[@ForestRain44]

@@verabunjaku1813 avoidant personality disorder seems to fit for me. Social anxiety disorder would be another possible explanation.

[@AliceBunny05]

yeah, I Believe it's also out of pure ignorance that these people think everyone who's found out through the internet that they relate HEAVILY to autistic people.. wants to be autistic. Through the first year or so of coming to terms with the idea that I'm probably autistic (before I was diagnosed) I cried multipleee times over it. I didn't WANT to be autistic, autism was never something that was framed as a good thing or even a neutral thing, and though there was a relief in finding people I related to a lot, there was also a lot of upset and blatant rejection on my part. It meant that I had to come to terms with the fact that I AM fundamentally different, there were obvious signs, and.. nobody saw me. That was extremely upsetting.

[@riksstaden4927]

​@@AliceBunny05Same time thing happened to me! I really didn't want to be autistic and was in denial about it for a long time. I was looking for things to prove I WASN'T autistic.

[@ethevillagecryptid2293]

I never knew there were other people who also felt weird using other people's names!! It's both the being afraid I didn't hear it right or remember it right or won't pronounce it right, and that it feels weirdly intimate. I also feel weird when people use my name for anything other than a greeting/getting my attention, I have a startled sort of blink reaction to hearing my name and it takes me a second to get back on track of what they were saying.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Yesss the startled blink reaction!!! What is the science behind all this? I need to know? 😂

[@300_live_rats]

omg me too!! i'm not sure if it's just because i don't like my name or if it will be like that even if i change it. but yeah names are weird and i physically cannot get myself to use nicknames for people.

[@aniekie1]

I have that name thing too! It took me weeks before being able to call my now husband by his name without feeling super weird and self conscious. And I also have that reaction to my name being used outside of the standard greeting situation. I'm not sure if I blink but I definitely feel startled and I can't get back to the conversation until that startled feeling goes away. I've never heard anyone else describe this before - I just thought it was me being weird.

[@feiradragon7915]

I never felt weird using people's names but I did have an embarrassing predicament where I forgot my best friend's name and referred to her by pronouns for a month to avoid asking what her name was. Thankfully I overheard her name and ultimately didn't have to ask due to that sheer luck.

[@Forgotten_Pixels]

Ah so I'm not the only one who doesn't really use names. I use them to refer to people or get their attention but thats it. I used to avoid using my classmate's names as a kid as it just felt strange.

[@5amisntlate]

Fun autism fact: we often think about autistic people being hypersensitive to sense (e.g: taste) but you can also be hyposensitive (or both, or neither!). So the foods being called bullshit look fabulous to me and the idea of eating stuff like plain pasta or just chicken nuggets or whatever every day makes me want to cry. I can't stand most cereals because they're too bland and my parents idea that we should have just a lump of cheese and a pack of crisps for lunch EVERY DAY makes me want to yeet myself out of the window. It's a good reminder that stereotypes are just that - stereotypes, and they're not necessarily always true. (I'm also hyposensitive to smell, but my relationship with texture is a bit iffy so if I reject a food it's usually a texture issue not a flavour issue. I obviously still have foods I don't like the taste of, but most foods I'm iffy at is a texture thing)

[@dragonflower17]

Same to you! Most of the blander foods shown in the video are fine to me taste wise but the complex plates and foods made me really really hungry (doesn't help I'm watching this over lunchtime)

[@twhimsy]

Same.. kinda. LOL I loved a lot of what the "bullshit" meals were. One looked straight out of deep south home cooking and probably had some excellent tastes.. but the texture will be the first thing that puts me off the whole meal. However, if I'm already super overstimulated/whelmed/near a break (which I guess is actually just a meltdown and not a breakdown) then I tend to want foods that are a bit plainer. I'll still want variety with those foods, but on the plain side.

[@fiercearmadillo6850]

When i moved to the South in the USA, i learned that "do you have kids?" or "what church do you go to?" "what do you do?" or even, "where did you grow up?" are considered normal, "getting to know you" questions. I find them shockingly intrusive to the point where i will just freeze and can't reply. My brain says, "why are they asking for this information, what is the purpose to which they will put my information to use???" Or on the other side of "information sharing", sometimes women will SHOW ME PHOTOS of their kids or grandkids. Why is it my business what their DNA is doing in other bodies occupying other locations? I mean i do actually really like pictures of babies ♡♡♡ but i mean what is my role in this interaction and why do i need to know this about this person? The baby is very cute. I will say "the baby is very cute" and hopefully this completes our interaction experience unit? Did I do okay?

[@TheSightOfTheStars]

Complementing people's grandbabies is a great move! Usually, folks are proud of their family growing, because they see even extended family as something they contribute to, and are active in. Like, they're proud of the kids they raised good kids, and then their kids are raising good kids that they can also help with. Hope this was helpful!

[@tubbygubbler]

same!!! every time someone asks if i have kids, i panic. because i don't have kids, and i don't want kids, and i'm so tired of people asking that question and turning it into an argument when i say i don't have kids. let me live my life!!! ☹

[@ninjabgwriter]

Totally relate. When I've lived in the south, I've been shocked by the number of people who wanted to hug me every time they see me, including on the FIRST MEETING. I don't dislike them, it's just very jarring how familiar everyone starts out.

[@redpanda7576]

Ive lived in the south my whole life and yeah, people love their small talk around here. On top of that ive always grown up around guys (mainly old men) who will slap you on the back or give you the death grip on your shoulders. They just laugh and think its funny. If I say it hurts, then im met with " oh well we gotta toughen you up" and theyll be even rougher with it. I learned to not say anything anymore.

[@hameley12]

@@redpanda7576 I'm so sorry that happened to you and you can't even say "Stop" because they'll continue to hurt you despite the touch of being caring or loving. Years ago when my family lived in the States near the South, I remember my uncle and friends, even my cousins would hold my shoulders awkwardly and grip me, and my uncle pinched me so hard I had to cry out and cried so hard from the pain. He just said "You should grow a thicker skin kiddo" 😰 When I was older I went back for a family emergency funeral, and he tried to touch me again I told him to please stop and just give me a warm hug because I was feeling crappy from the long week of work, long travel flight and the horrible hotel accommodations. He never pinched me again. Or tried to hurt me and he even instructed his sons, my cousins to not touch me. To treat me like a lady. I didn't even know about this until much later.

[@beesquestionmark]

You saying “you don’t need a diagnosis” really helps me feel better. I’m so crazy about learning about autism and I feel like it explains my entire life but I don’t want a diagnosis because they can use it against me when eventually, I try to foster kids or move countries.

[@human-tk2fo]

As a very american young woman I dread the day they get gun laws about mental health on the books, discouraging gun owners from taking care of their mental health is a bad idea

[@DanniBby]

Could they also use PTSD and Anxiety diagnosis against someone when having kids & traveling countries?

[@turtleanton6539]

​@@DanniBbyi think so

[@briclare]

wait you can’t foster kids when you are on the spectrum? :(

[@Zectifin]

@@human-tk2fo yeah thats one thing that scares me about centrist liberal gun control laws. They want to "be progressive" by penalizing those with mental health issues.

[@salfordnurse]

When I went to ask for my assessment to my gp I condensed it down to 21 pages, of single spaced writing, and cross referenced everything to the DSM-V. When my assessor read it he actually said it was better than a lot of assessors and professionals he’d worked with would write.

[@LaceyMyriah]

This is goals.

[@sabinajoh]

My perfectionist ass would be so happy to hear that

[@AliceBunny05]

hmm, who would've thought that the people who could best identify autism would be.. autistic peopleee.. groundbreaking. lolol. but truly, this is so relatable.

[@BrickNewton]

The thought of preparing a folder of research and history for an assesment just terrifies me. I feel like they would say I'm not as I don't have a folder. The folder is in my head though.

[@calaminthagrandiflora7065]

I am so glad that it is uncommon to make small talk in Germany.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

That sounds like bliss!

[@Aroacerat]

Oh, if only.. Please send this custom to southern U.S

[@Shalunium]

Same! Or well, I'm from Finland, but not much small talk here either.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Wait what? You mean IT could BE worse and I already live where ITS uncommon in comparison?! Why do I have to Go through so much small Talk then?!

[@Dorothy241]

Same in Japan 🇯🇵… no small talk in the elevator, nothing at the cashier, on the street only with people that know you, like neighbors, but if you look busy, you can often avoid it without being seen as rude 😊

[@jennistone6515]

I found a video online about female autism about 6 weeks ago, I've done nothing but watch videos on Autism and also ADHD, and I've never been more sure of anything. I'm 42 and this is so much to process. But it's nice to be in the Fam 😊

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Yess! Welcome to the Fam! 💛💛💛

[@jupiterthree5228]

Same. I never knew what autism really was until recently. I had an autistic male best friend in my teens and found out a few years ago my female best friend is also autistic (she found out at 28) I didn't think anything of it until I saw some videos about 8 months ago and now I can't stop researching it and watching videos and ticking boxes. I'm 98% sure I am autistic. I was diagnosed ADHD at 14, no one ever told me what ADHD was, I was just put on meds which made me feel like I was on crack, looking at it now that I am not in school, which I hated, it doesn't fit at all.

[@bexter107]

I’ve been obsessing for 4 years at this point. The majority off stuff I watch relates to ASD. It’s kind of funny because I thought for the longest time that I didn’t have special interests aha

[@caddieohm7059]

You are my long lost twin. We're even the same age. I found it five weeks ago and doing nothing but research. Good luck on your journey and if you wanna talk I'm here for it!

[@BellaRigelOrion]

Similar experience here! In my 40's and found a video that started my exploration weeks ago. ADHD is in my family, but I hadn't heard of any of us having autism before. I also believe I am both.

[@Axooll16]

For the past 2/3 years I was really into researching ADHD, taking notes, watching videos, reading articles, like crazy, and I just felt more and more like "dude, I might have this", and then, this year somehow I got into the autism rabbit hole, and noticed that it has quite a few similar things to ADHD, and once again I was like "wha- then do I have autism? (or ADHD?)". But since there's so much content about this on the internet I sometimes think "what if i'm just being dramatic? or self diagnosing when i actually don't have any of these?" and then I start feeling guilty...

[@gretafrancis2005]

i had the exact same thing. I've been researching adhd for about a year and a half and even did a bunch of research papers for university about it because it was something that I related to so heavily but recently my mother had me take a test for autism without telling me it was for that and I scored very high on it and it explained my behaviors from when I was little that adhd didn't explain. My mother worked with kids who had autism when I was little and she often had to use the same techniques to calm me down or just take care of me that she used with the kids she worked with. I had many sensory issues especially with clothes that have continued throughout my life and I also fixate on many things to the point where if my mother doesn't remind me to eat a balanced meal I'll subconsciously eat the same meal 3 times a day for weeks. I'm currently on the fence about going to the doctors to get diagnosed but at the same time many of my friends are diagnosed with autism and I don't behave or act like them at all so I feel like if I go they'll just tell me to get over myself and that I'm being dramatic and looking too far into things.

[@turtleanton6539]

Oooof

[@ES-cf4ph]

This is exactly how I feel right now. Got into the autistic rabbit hole and I ... found so many things where I say to myself "w-wait, it is an autistic trait to feel awkward when having to comfort someone in a sad situation, just like hating certain textures in food or stimming?" But on the other hand, I don't really feel the need to get a diagnosis because I don't feel like I need support (although I sometimes felt and still feel like not knowing who I am and why I do the things I do). Also especially some points in the official diagnosis criteria don't seem fitting to me on the first glance, although I am still very unsure if I might just be masking q.q It is so confusing to find these things out about yourself. And especially because there are some hints against it at the moment I kinda feel like an imposter.

[@Aroacerat]

I’ve.. Done the exact same thing this year, and I feel the exact same way about it. If you think something’s wrong/different, you’re probably right, and while I have no issue telling others this, its been hard to convince myself of this. Oh well, thanks for reading the rant!

[@NormyTres]

I was the other way around, autism first then ADHD, then started thinking I was just diagnosing myself with everything THEN I found out about AuDHD.

[@aabb-kj7ns]

when you said "you are more than welcome to call yourself autistic, you are autistic, you are welcome here" i teared up. ive spent so long in my life feeling just that fragment different than everyone else, wanting to be someone else, not understanding why i was the way i was. and i found the neurodivergent community and lit up. adhd and autism describe my experiences so much it hurts sometimes. im diagnosed with adhd but due to my current situation i dont believe pursuing an autism diagnosis would be a good idea. ive spent the past few months intensely researching autism and scrutinising myself over it and compiling evidence and talking to my boyfriend and examining my past. and as time goes by i am increasingly more sure that i am autistic, but the bouts of self doubt are stronger. i dont feel autistic enough. and that SUCKS. i dont feel neurotypical enough but i dont feel autistic enough. i want to belong somewhere so badly but i cant stop telling myself that the way ive struggled is not bad enough because i dont struggle to the degree most autistic people do.

[@brinagotsued]

If at all possible, please try to drop the feeling that struggling with anything is only allowed if you would get a medal in the "Struggle Olympics". Even if it is true that you haven't struggled as much as most autistic people, somebody has to be at the opposite end of the scale, and that is equally valid. What if, for example, you just happen to have been in the 20th percentile when it comes to how easy it has been, would you think that I don't have autism if I was in the 10th percentile of how easy it has been? I just wanted to add a quote that the user madberry posted, it's the third paragraph in "Self-Diagnosis-Friendly Resources and Communities": "In our experience at the University of Washington Autism Center, many professionals are not informed about the variety of ways that autism can appear, and often doubt an autistic person’s accurate self-diagnosis. In contrast, inaccurate self-diagnosis of autism appears to be uncommon. We believe that if you have carefully researched the topic and strongly resonate with the experience of the autistic community, you are probably autistic." I feel like I expressed my thoughts in a very clunky manner, so let me know if I need to explain any of my thoughts more.

[@aabb-kj7ns]

@@brinagotsued thank you so so much, you articulated that really well and that was incredibly reassuring. thank you so much.

[@dankmemewannabe7692]

feeling this comment af rn

[@brinagotsued]

@@aabb-kj7ns you're welcome. I don't have a diagnosis yet (starting stage 2 out of 3 in my country's evaluation process tomorrow), but I deeply feel that ADHD and autism explain my life, and I think that you are valid and that your experience is important. I hope you can find comfort in the fact that the University of Washington believes you.

[@aabb-kj7ns]

@@dankmemewannabe7692 at least we're not alone

[@VTPPGLVR]

Yes! “What’s your credit score? JUST GET PAID MORE.”

[@JennyDM92]

I just got my autism diagnosis today. (Which is also my birthday.. yay me) I am officially diagnosed as ASD level 1 with sensory processing disorder. I came here first. To your channel. Because you have helped me so much through this extremely long process and I wanted you to know that. If it wasn’t for your content I would feel completely alone in this and while I know we are different in many ways, it really helps me to feel like I am not alone in this. So.. yeah. Thank you. ❤

[@emmageyman8621]

Happy birthday 🎂 and welcome to the club 😎

[@hollyberry0602]

Happy Birthday! Sorry it's late haha I'm so glad you got your diagnosis and can start to feel more open to being yourself!

[@Sonicfan-cc1te]

When I was 10 I went to my doctor to get ADHD medication (I was just diagnosed with ADHD and I had been diagnosed with Autism since I was a toddler) She told me that I’m between Level 1 and Level 2 on the spectrum.

[@lisasteel6817]

Welcome to club Awesome.

[@christinawahlberg6805]

I... I feel like I'm learning so much o_0 levels in autism? All I've heard is the generalized "it's a spectrum", and didn't think much past that. Thank you for the enlightenment!

[@curlyquo]

maybe it's because i'm american or just how i grew up but i've never put butter on untoasted bread???? my brain is like no duh you don't butter soft bread or there'll be holes bestie! i use a light spread of mayo on cold sandwiches and sometimes the same on warm ones or just toast the bread first to butter it.

[@tomlaptain646]

My go to response when someone does the 'how are you' as a greeting thing is 'I'm alive'. It's accurate so I'm not lying and often gets a laugh from people so it feels like the conversation/greeting is off to a good start.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

That so sounds like something I would say!!

[@sabinajoh]

I’ve just defaulted to say “I’m here and that’s pretty cool”

[@katrinahunton655]

People seem to ask "how's it going?" around here and I reply "it's going." 😂

[@El-by3kb]

Heh. Mine is ‘conscious.’

[@iambicpentakill]

"The horrors persist, but so do I"

[@Thi-Nguyen]

I don’t feel so crazy for my obsessions now. I was collecting Beanie Babies and decided I absolutely HAD to have every single bear. Then I saw a cute dog and had to have every single dog one. Then the Easter themed ones popped up… that led to the Cherished Teddies figurines… and then it became books. And when I find an author I like, such as Robin Cook, I had to buy EVERY book he’s written, and they all had to be hardcover and the same size. I now have a massive library (there are at least five authors I’m obsessed with plus a few TOPIC series of books.) I felt insane for a bit until I came across autism videos and everything just clicked.

[@KalafinaBTS]

That's normal?? I do that alot too! It's mostly limited to downloading stuff and all, but i tend to have this "gotta catch em all" mentality with things i enjoy. I used to have a collection of every single song my favorite artists made. I'd download each and every single live performance, including fan-recorded ones, as if building a database on my pc. I was planning to write down every single lore "data entry" (there's several hundreds) from a certain rhythm game. i never thought it could be this >.

[@hollyberry0602]

@@KalafinaBTS is that an autism thing? I got diagnosed last year! I've always sort of been that way haha, I have a folder with nothing but gameplay videos from a ton of old games that isn't even online anymore! I just had to make sure I had ALL of it lol I guess I've sort of become the same with my doll collection haha, had to finish those Rainbow High collections lol

[@pandora6867]

I totally relate to the names thing. I don't like using people's names, I don't like other people using my name, all regardless of context - family, friends, coworkers, even my spouse! it just feels like a weird boundary, like there's an invasion happening when a name is invoked. super annoying lol

[@jmfs3497]

I'm 49, undiagnosed, but have recently noticed the lifetime of my own ASD patterns and sensitivities. I always get the feeling my friends think I'm funny, oddly savant in some areas, but naive in others, anxious about people/alone time, and a little socially off. They've made space for it as we age. When I told them I was seeing patterns of autism in my behavior they all simply nodded. Not like they already knew, but now that I brought it up it immediately clicked with how they saw me. I think the word has spread around my small community, too, because people seem to be stopping me in the street to check on me like I'm a small child, lol. At least they like me enough to say hi. Off-topic, but does anyone else not really recognize hierarchy? Like my gut is to be as open with the CEO of my company as I am with my therapist or best friends, and I don't see anyone as more deserving of respect or anything than anyone else. We all just have our thing going on and should respect that thing, and not have any political motivations. I'm aware other people really respect it and seem shocked that I am aloof to it, but I just don't feel it at all, and it kind of physically hurts to lie or pretend to be something I'm not. I respect everyone has different jobs, though. I just don't think anyone is more important.

[@RutabegaNG]

I could have written your second paragraph. My very first office job, I met the head of the department. Didn't treat him any differently than anyone else. Shocked a few of my new co-workers. I didn't see any reason to treat him special. His pants were just more expensive than mine, he didn't put them on any differently. TLDR: Hierarchy? Whazzat? ETA: 53 next Tuesday, undiagnosed

[@KellyCDB]

Yes. Yes. All that second paragraph. It's gotten me in trouble for sure.

[@Kimmie6772]

I feel that. Cognitively I know enough to not say something stupid and inappropriate, but in actuality I feel like they're just another person just doing a different kind of job.

[@jecicox7605]

This has hurt me in so many social situations. It feels so wrong to pretend things but everyone expects this game of pretend. I don't understand why people like to be lied to...and yet get angry when they find out someone has lied to them. Playing pretend to me is still a lie.

[@queensittingduck]

Whenever I was at work and everyone would be like, "so and so is coming today, make sure you look busy!" I was so perplexed. Do you guys not do work on the other days you are here? Why all of a sudden do I have to perform work, I thought I was already working? And the "chain of command" really irked my nerves. I have to go to my dept head and let them take it from there. But this issue is not important to her, she can never find a time to take my issue to the nest level. Meanwhile, the person I need to talk to is right around the corner, but I can't approach them directly because, HiErArchYYY. So stupid to me.

[@Avendesora]

Me as a teenager reading a huge list of autism symptoms: None of these fit and I am not autistic :) Me, three days later when i’ve finally processed the list and how it applies to me: oh no, now i’m searching for normal things i do to pretend to be autistic so I don’t have to take accountability for my social failings :( And then I convinced myself masking means no autism and lived happily ever after for 15 more years of beating myself up. Self-diagnosis is easy! Dumpling girl is SO valid 😤Dumpling wrappers aren’t made with semolina and you actually develop the gluten to make them elastic. The texture is super different from pasta, and even something like wonton soup isn’t a perfect replacement bc while you still get some added flavor from the broth (like the inside of the wrapper would get from the filling) steaming gives a different texture than boiling.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Ugh, yes! The self-doubt is so real. The best thing about knowing I’m autistic is that I don’t walk around shouting at myself in my head, policing my behaviour all day. What a relief. Nooo, don’t take my husband’s side with the dumpling thing 😂 We’ve been arguing about this all week! In my defence, I’ve never eaten dumpling wrappers solo… maybe I’ll have to try it sometime 😅 Both pasta and dumplings are definitely works of art, though 😂😍

[@Avendesora]

@@imautisticnowwhat The freedom to not be upset with myself is life-changing. That being said, working in customer service means I’m still policing myself pretty hard and always analyzing what I say and how I think people are reacting to it so I don’t get fired or instigate a stressful situation. I think I mayhaps might need a slightly different career… Pasta and dumplings are both masterpieces that I would never turn down! Unfortunately I’m also a foodie with a fondness for east Asian cuisine, so I’ve got your husband’s back for sure this time around 😂

[@WeeLin]

That bit where you said "you don't need a diagnosis mate - you're in the fam" gave me a huge smile. About as huge as the contents of my "Autism Stuff" folder in my Google Drive (yes, I have one, and I was compiling notes for months). Funny how autism itself quickly becomes an autistic special interest for so many of us!

[@mxdnxght_moor]

also wanted to share a small talk tip for my fellow autistics, since I'm that flavour of autistic that neurotypicals find utterly hilarious: without fail, every time I get the dreaded question, "how are you?" I respond with "I'm alive" Which now, the other person is thrown off their small talk rhythm since they always hear, "im good!" and a solid 95% of the time they giggle and go "well, that's a good thing, right?" and now, it's no longer awkward. the initial ice barrier is broken and now the conversation can go literally anywhere, if either person decides to even continue at all. it's brilliant. this especially works well with strangers and people you've never met before. so my advice: don't just say you're fine to appear "normal" in conversation. I never developed the instincts to mask or follow societal norms to make myself seem more normal (since i've always found a sense of pride in being "weird" and never felt any kind of need to fit in), so the way i interact with people is vastly different. feel free to share this advice around if it works for you btw :)

[@katyalambo]

Oh my god the second video is so me!! As soon as I start to be like “yes, this is me, I’m autistic”, I’m like “no, no, no this is all in your head”. I have done the research, I have the binders. I am waiting on my diagnosis (I’m in Canada so like free, but likely will take forever) but worry that the person I am referred to will not believe me and that it will all cause me to spiral. Super happy to know that I’m not alone ❤

[@timtreefrog9646]

Yes. This. I haven't pursued diagnosis because I am in ED recovery and the fact that I MIGHT be autistic is keeping me eating. I worry that if the pros say I am not ASD, then I go back to being a horrible person who upsets people and hence doesn't deserve food. At the same time I really would like to know either way. It could send me over the edge if I am not ASD. Wishing you every success and I hope you get what you need. ❤ Your comment really resonated with me. Thanks for sharing.

[@raspberrytaegi]

FREE?! how? :o

[@timtreefrog9646]

@@raspberrytaegi same in the UK. Universal healthcare. The original poster will get a free diagnosis if they are under 19 years old ŕ Diagnosis will be paid for by partial taxes if the poster is over 16 and has a job.

[@numizumi5131]

My meltdowns were no joke as a child it was terrifying to my family and it always happened after school or upon waking. I was dxed with adhd but when someone told me at culinary school that they were autistic because I was in the dark quiet room where they also hung out, I slightly brushed it off like "okay" -bobby meme but then I kept thinking about it and I then started to go down the rabbit hole when I was in college and everything made sense. The meltdowns, the inability to juggle, people saying I was monotone before I started masking. I still have trouble not doubting myself. I brought it up in an appointment with my therapist/psych and they brushed me off and I Realized they would likely say I couldn't get my adhd meds if I pushed the autism dx thing as if you couldn't have both. So I never really brought it up anymore.

[@Mauveink]

I've taken every online test once a month for four years, I've read every article I can find, watched so many videos... and I'm still terrified of asking my Doctor about a diagnosis. I'm scared they'll dismiss me or find me a burden. I found that TikTok way to relatable!

[@squidnipendleton3765]

I think this is why i enjoy socially drinking so much. Its a real problem but there's something so magical about being able to communicate openly with strangers at a bar, youre both blitzed out of your mind so it doesn't matter if one of us stims or the other messes up words or anything, both people get really deep into important/pressing conversations and skip all the surface level performative stuff. If there was alcohol that did this without the hangover, that would be pure magic

[@TotallyNotLoki]

I’m right there with you on that. A couple drinks and it’s suddenly much easier to drop the mask and be myself.

[@kaisoep]

I found this video very fun and relatable! I also realized while watching that, unlike what I thought for a while, I do struggle with small talk, but I just came up with a strategy to do it before I realized I was autistic. I have been excessively complimenting everyone for as long as i can remember and I always thought it was just because I wanted others to compliment me back. Now I realized that I do it because it gives me something to talk about and it sparks a conversation that the other person is sure to enjoy. For example, I have a friend who loves earrings and when I see her, I just say "Omg your earrings are sooooo cool!" and then the conversation has succesfully started and is going well because she'll explain where she got them and what they mean etc. And when the conversation dies down again, I compliment her outfit or her hair or her make-up. It works really well and it also engages me to look at what other people are wearing to find something to compliment. I just never realized that that's why i compliment everyone all the time, much more than the people around me. I'm not going to do things differently though now that I know, because it makes people happy to be complimented and it works well for me lmao

[@Warspite03]

“You don’t need a diagnosis mate; you’re in the Fam.” After a long weekend of research mode, that line meant everything!😂

[@kairousell5840]

You saying the thing about using people's names feeling weird and intimate made me tear up bc I've always struggled with this really badly. I never realized it could potentially be an autistic thing?? More and more I think I might be autistic. Thanks for making me feel so seen😁🙏

[@TheCommonS3Nse]

I can absolutely relate to the second example! I tried explaining my self diagnosis to my wife and she was just like "What you just suddenly think that you're autistic?! Why are you so obsessed with this idea?! No, you just get obsessed over things, you're terrible at multitasking, and you are horrible at communicating. You're not autistic."

[@turtleanton6539]

3 autism signs. How are your fine motor skills ? Repetice behavior. Stims. Special i-nrerws

[@cowsonzambonis6]

I don’t butter the bread for sandwiches at all- that sounds so weird to me!

[@persephonebasilissa5109]

Even as an adult, pasta with butter and a light sprinkling of cheese is my go-to comfort meal.

[@unFayemous]

I was at with my therapist, rambling on about something, when, half jokingly, I said "you know, sometimes I think I might just be a bit autistic" And she looks me dead in the eye and goes "I'm really glad you've brought it up, that's what I've been thinking" Uhm, MA'AM, mind your business?? 😭😭😭 Turns out she was right too

[@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears]

Tip for buttering the sandwich better: Have the blade of the knife parallel to the bread. Like you are trying to use the blade to measure the bread. Then rotate 45 degrees toward yourself and move it towards you. Rotate as needed. I use the edges of the bread to wipe the knife off between getting new butter so that it is clean for the butter container and covers the edges better. :) hope this helps.

[@paulacruz6239]

Earing about the guilt bind self-diagnoses hit me like a sharp knife, because I had that same feeling as you described, as the tiktoker did, I felt that I had all the answers but I just NEEDED the validation of a professional, I could not join autism groups because I felt that "what if I'm not?" "seems like I'm joking with people that really are..." I've done a ton of research I keep doing it... but when I finally got the courage to go to one, the first 2 persons that I talked to try and get an appointment for a diagnosis said.. "the diagnosis is not important, to treat it is the important part... it is just a name..." so I continue searching, I finally found one, and was sure that I would get a diagnosis, but as soon as I said that both my brother and sister had adhd he didn't even try to diagnose me with anything else.. he only asked me 2 questions, one about my student career and other about my work career, nothing else and stated, yes, you also have it... when I proceed to try and ask if maybe autistic , because I also had several other things that ADHD did not justify by itself, he said: "more important than give out diagnosis is to treat them" .. I was crushed , and had a severe meltdown after it.. These consultations are quite expensive.. is not like it's super easy for me to go and just get a second opinion.. so, here I am seeing millions of videos and documents about autism, knowing in my core that I'm autistic, but unable to call me that out loud or seek any psychological help with my struggles with the fear of not being diagnosed once more.. it's like saying that I'm lying even to myself.

[@vanessagutierrez7975]

This hits so hard, it's exactly how I feel 😢

[@saml4004]

Definitely that second one and last one…I’m 35 and was officially diagnosed as autistic about 3 months ago after years of wondering if it was autism or “just” my ADHD that I was already diagnosed with. After a couple months I finally told a friend, then finally got the courage to say I was surprised she didn’t say anything about how she doesn’t think I have autism and she replied with “well I don’t think you do but you aren’t going to listen to me”. Cooool….thanks for helping that imposter syndrome……

[@kendallcurtis7863]

Whenever someone who knows nothing about autism, thinks they can tell if you are or aren't, this will shut them down quick: ask them, "what is the definition of autism". When they say "I don't know if I can define it". Say "okay, what are some of the major aspects of autism". And they say "well it's obvious when someone is autistic". Then say "if it's obvious then you should be able to define it easily then". Then because they are clearly exposed as knowing nothing about it, you can then inform them about hypo and hyper sensitivity and extremely specific mental process struggles that are shared amongst an entire community and extremely specific executive function limitations shared by an entire community... etc. Then you can come in with "so the people that you define as 'obviously autistic'" are people who are simply struggling more than me, but I struggle with an extremely similar set of things as them. Two people can be blind and one of them sees 5% (like super vague shadows only) where the other sees 0% (completely nothing). Both are blind by any definition that regards function. Neither can function in a world of sight. Both are blind. One is just technically more limited than the other, but it's the exact same limitation of the exact same sense. It's a distinction without a difference. But in general, like with your friend, people always think they are experts until they are asked to give an explanation of what they think they are an expert of.

[@celestegross6622]

Self-diagnosis - The more I researched autism in girls to better advocate for my kid the more I saw myself. This past week I went thru an hour & a half of testing & found out… drum roll, please… yup I’m autistic. 50 years now makes so much sense.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes😊😊😊

[@noobulon4334]

"Maybe it's all in my head" Yes, it's in your head, where the brain is, that's the point!

[@TessaCoker]

I am a Brit, living in the US. I am 70. It is very difficult to get an accurate adult female diagnosis here. Everything is geared to male children. US are way behind UK and Australia in research and testing. I have given up on official diagnosis. Five different online tests and my marvellous (also Aspie) Jungian therapist confirm it. BTW I know the term Aspergers is no longer - but that is what we are!

[@Cornerstanding]

I wouldn't advice seeking medical attention or mental health care anywhere in America

[@cogit8able]

@@CornerstandingI agree, I received at the same time ADHD and Asperger’s. They told me bluntly that there’s no treatment for Asperger’s but gave me a prescription for the ADHD. I was put on Adderol. It didn’t agree with me. It exacerbated my cardiac arrhythmias and destroyed my appetite. I couldn’t eat. It caused anhedony. Nothing was funny. Nothing was pleasurable. Food tasted like sawdust. I told the psychiatrist that it wasn’t agreeing with me. He ordered a refill. I didn’t return to see him.

[@cogit8able]

I also prefer the Asperger’s diagnoses. I have the feeling that the general public expects autism to manifest as being nonverbal and self harming. I am neither of those things.

[@blub-tf6rt]

I love your kitty

[@willwassenaar1145]

I'm only a couple of days into the research, and it's a rollercoaster ride. I don't want this to be the main focus of my life for the next 8 months, I have stuff to do! It has been nice though to consider that maybe I'm not failing at life but succeeding wonderfully given my challenges in spite of a lack of support and (self-) understanding. Thank you so much for these videos, you're so helpful and also funny and entertaining.

[@lizstokes9091]

I definitely have texture issues but I also love trying new foods. Was invited for dim sum and warned them about textures. He said no problem, I'll eat whatever you don't like, so I let him order. OMFG everything was so slimy, I couldn't get past that goey texture to enjoy the overall flavour 🤮 I was only able to eat what was deep fried, which wasn't much so I left hungry...give me crunchy over slippery ANY DAY!! Watching her squeeze those dumplings made my skin crawl 😶🤣🤣

[@sherylw4599]

CRONCHY food! Yas!

[@beautifulgorgeousman]

honestly i don’t care about texture as long as the flavor is good, when i first had tuna… JESUS it was so bad i forced myself to swallow it 😭 so fishy

[@vampiric-elf5619]

Dim sums are my nightmare food 🤮 I tell people I'm vegetarian even when I'm not just to avoid slimy, meaty food.

[@avengedprophet1559]

The second tik tok is exactly what I did. I was supposed to start preparing finding a job. Instead I researched about autism and ADHD and how it affected my life until now (including old medical papers about me and finding out about my heavy amount of masking). Now I’m still kinda unable to search for a job (properly) because it’s hard to process all those memories. Like now I know why I got bullied and struggle so much with others and inconsistent productivity 😂 Typical tips to socialize (easily) and be productive always seemed strange to me. I failed them again and again. Now I‘m considering my autistic and ADHD traits for productivity and it works much better (even though they contradict each other at times). I always felt like a failure until now and I finally have a pretty clear explanation why. I‘m not just weird (maybe I am weird on top of everything) I‘m autistic and likely have ADHD. Maybe you can leave me now, self hatred?

[@shabzamin6815]

The first one was my mom, with basically all the mental health issues I’ve gone through all my life. It felt so invalidating, especially since how much I struggled with stuff before I’d even mention anything. They were mostly stuff that were the result of undiagnosed autism and adhd. Now I do have a diagnosis and whenever she tells me about any traits I also have, it’s mostly turned around where I say: I have that too, for me it’s part of my autism/adhd.. We do have a suspicion that she might be on the spectrum too and it does actually make me feel less upset about her telling me my struggles were normal, because she most likely did experience stuff as intensely as I do.

[@darlinqtoni]

I relate to you so much. My mom told me about when I was little (I’ve masked my whole life) she told me I would only walk on my tip toes and struggled making friends, always canceled plans the night before, had many meltdowns, and told my my doctor was suspecting autism. My mom shot it all down. I was a premie and there is some research saying premature babies( I was 2 months premature) have a high percentage of being autistic. She shot everything down said I was perfectly fine and that I’m a miracle that I’m “normal” and healthy and I don’t have autism (COUGH COUGH MASKING). And that I should stop trying to label myself. I looked back at photos from when I was little, I was always fidgeting with my thumbs. I still do it now. I’ve never really stumped by flapping my arms. I would always fidget with this blanket when I was born till I was in middle school, then my parents took it away, but now as someone in highschool I found it again and now I use it a lot. I’ve always stimmed with my fingers, my nails have been picked at so bad it’s really terrible. Like my nails will never look the same. I also chew the inside of my cheek and flick my tongue on my teeth and it makes this click noise that I love. I do that to the point my cheeks are raw and my tongue is numb. I’ve always had my body movements under control I was never a flappy person but I always tapped my foot, flicked my pen and scribbled a lot. I always had a hard time with eye contact and dident know it was something you were supposed to do till highschool, so then I started looking my teachers and friends in the eye all the time but it was always me making myself do it so I always struggled to pay attention to what they are saying because I was always controlling every movement and facial expression I made. I also never knew what to do with my arms. I always kept my arms by my side. It was only when I took running lessons that my teacher was like, you gotta sway your arms and I was like what? But yeah it’s so awkward to have arms like why they just lay there. Also I always just like rub my lips together. I have huge sensory issues now with chapped lips, not having lotion on my hands, sweat, being dirty, I always shower and wash my hair because I hate my hair, I really wanna shave it all off but I’m finally cutting it short and I’m so excited because it’s so long and I hate it. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and was always bullied and called weird and quirky and annoying and a pick me, I’ve always copied how people speak and certain phrases they say and sometimes I even speak in the same tone and manner as them. I struggled with school as a elementary student and middle school student, my grades were terrible, I hated homework because I couldent focus for that long, and was immensely tired from masking all day. I had a hard time with multiplication and factoring and just school in general . I needed special help but I never got it. I looked at videos when I was younger and it was my birthday and I was ice skating with my friends and I remember that day, I thought I was having so much fun with them, turns out I was so in my own world I was skating all by myself and my friends were always trying to catch up with me and follow me and I was always ahead in my head. Hahahahah. As I got older my traits have changed, some staying the same but, as I’ve learned more because I can’t stop doing research I’m learning more of myself and giving myself more ease, so I’m kinda “acting more autistic” because I’m learning to Un mask. It’s really hard to accept myself because I’ve spent ky whole life trying to be neurotypical but always lost those nt friends and always became friends with the neurodivergent people. Now I’ve been always doing research and hopefully in 2 years when I am an adult I can try to fight for a formal diagnosis but for now I can’t and I could tell you so much more but I just realized I info dumped. But yeah I can’t get diagnosed now because my parents don’t accept the fact I’m not perfect. Or “normal” in a sense of being neurotypical. There was a lot more I typed but accidentally deleted it. But yeah I have a lot more traits and so yeah hopefully one day I will be accepted into the audhd community officiallyZ

[@thelifeofelle1389]

As a southerner (US) I find your guesses as to what those food items are absolutely hilarious 😂 whoever made that food should take a refresher course on Southern food as well though

[@silentlyjudgingyou]

When I was diagnosed I ugly cried all over the place it had been in the back of my head as a possibility for years but I had been blaming all my problems on my anxiety disorders it was heartbreaking to learn that it was a structerial brain thing and not something the right med could treat

[@firemermaid1980]

Imagine doing the research as a medical librarian with access to the full text literature...

[@lifeinthelight.]

Thank you so much for including self diagnosed in the community! Where I live it is 6K for an adult to be assessed and I just don't have that!! My safe foods are more hyper focus foods. Wich my current is a blended soup made with Thai style veggies and ground pork. I legit have it for breakfast lunch and dinner on the daily. I'm so excited because I just discovered this meal, meaning I know it will be my safe meal for months and i won't have to think about meals!!

[@purpleunicorn8659]

I had the same issue with the cereal milk before and it leaving me convinced that that I didn't like it because I couldn't stand the taste of the milk. Well how different is it now that I know I can use other milks! It's way better now! My choice of alternative is Almond milk! 😸

[@imautisticnowwhat]

I am so grateful for alternative milks, yesss!! There’s so much choice now!

[@joyfulinhope1210]

I’m so glad you talked about the level of research. My husband still doesn’t understand that when I say I’ve researched something, I’m basically an expert now. Lol

[@listlesstoboggan1845]

I'm real glad you mentioned that if you're researching autism so hard (or even ADHD) you don't need a diagnosis at that point cause I and my autistic friends have all done this and talked to each other about it

[@turtleanton6539]

Yuup😊

[@awadraws8714]

As a high-masking person this is so comforting, a few months ago i started looking into autism and made a spreadsheet of my traits, it's pretty obvious if i think about it for more than a few seconds, but i really needed that bit about most likely being autistic. It's nearly impossible for me to unmask and it's difficult even if i'm alone, so most people probably wouldn't believe me if i told them, so hearing someone say so clearly that i probably have autism really helped :D (sorry if this comes of as rambly or parasocial, what i mean is thank you for making this video, it helped a lot)

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Aw, don't apologise for anything! Thank you for the lovely comment and I'm really glad I could help a little 💛💛💛 I'd be highly surprised if anyone who is not autistic has ever felt the urge to make a spreadsheet of their autistic traits 😂

[@fiercearmadillo6850]

Buttered noodles! Buttered noodles!! Buttered noodles!!! Omg omg buttered noodles!!! *cries helplessly* *Starts water boiling*

[@fiercearmadillo6850]

Kix! Kix! Kix! Cheerios! Cheerios! Cheerios! "....Honey nut cheerios?" "ARGGH NO! TOO INTENSE!!! Noooooooooo"

[@pneuma6313]

The second video was way too relatable. Not only that, but also your commentary. I am currently waiting to get a diagnostic appointment for ASD and I feel so self-conscious. The whole thing has kind of been on my mind for years because of family members and friends joking about me "being weird" and saying that "my autism is showing", whenever I did things the way I felt comfortable with. But it has all been so intense these past months. I've asked my family, I've ready studies, went through my memory and looked at medical records and any commentary on my behaviour as a child and teenager that I could find. And I've broken down several times. Actually, I brought it up with a psychologist at a clinic who had extremely outdated opinions of autism. He told me it was impossible for me to have it because I am emotional and have social anxiety. And "an autistic person wouldn't care about what other people think of them". That threw me back a lot and I began doubting my own suspicions and opinions. Gladly I have a partner that reassured me and convinced me to keep looking for someone who would do a test. Last week I went to another unrelated medical checkup where the doctor brought the topic up herself and told me to get tested, because my medical records and behaviour show an indication for ASD. So right now I'm just frustrated and burnt out and I feel hella annoying for talking about the whole autism thing so much and asking everyone I know about it. And also just the fact it's on my mind 24/7 and I analyse my own actions so much it's even more difficult to actually interact with people naturally.

[@catluvr2]

I hear you about being emotional; I tend to cry at the end of happy movies, I also tend to be extremely empathetic.

[@Respectable_Username]

Pasta was always my safe food, until it wasn't. The "until it wasn't" isn't from getting tired of it though, but from an "unsafe for tummy" perspective (ie fructan is now my worst enemy). Some GF pastas (which, being wheat free, are typically also low fructan) are still ok, but I miss having me a good old bowl of plain, normal pasta that had been sitting in the colander for a bit to get extra chewy 🥺

[@dovecat9140]

Yeah, I 100% agree with the self-diagnosis thing. I self-diagnosed before I was (fortunately) able to be diagnosed (with both ASD and ADHD). Additionally, love the amazing community you and us watchers have built. Thank you.

[@finnsscribbless]

Last time I watched you reacting to autistic tiktoks I felt like I got hit when Chloe Hayden started talking about how two of her safe foods aren't safe anymore Wonder which one will call me out today lol 😅

[@sunnisideupplz3920]

I'm self diagnosed and your videos really help cement the fact that I'm autistic. My diagnosis actually was sparked from the tiktok autism community! I kept on researching why I had so many issues with sunny days, florescent lights, sounds, textures.... and that rabbit hole just kept on growing and growing. I don't know if or when I want to be properly diagnosed, but I've already felt welcome in my local community being more open about myself.

[@6022]

I'm in this same boat of being deep in the research, pretty much sure I have autism. The trouble is, I socialise quite well, which is, like, the only real diagnostic point on the AQ-10 test to get referred. I've had what are now clearly autistic meltdowns, and my wife, when we were discussing it, pointed out the time I drove back from the cinema with her, but went route she picked, and it bothered me so much that I snuck out later, drove back to the cinema, and then drove back the 'normal' way. So yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm autistic.

[@pruedence110588]

Also sounds a bit OCD possibly?

[@6022]

@@pruedence110588 I don't get the intrusive thoughts that are more characteristic of OCD though. My head is more likely to be full of some intricate daydream I'm having. I don't tend to have rituals, but I do show repetitive behaviour, stimming, get overwhelmed from noise super easily, have very intense special interests that I will happily talk about at great length, get echolalia or even selective mutism when I'm overwhelmed, clumsiness, inability to handle certain places with large groups of people like supermarkets, train stations, airports, and there's more besides. It was just me being unable to handle the change in plans in that scenario. I pretty much tick every box except that I can interact with people alright.

[@dalailarose1596]

You sound like my nesting partner, except he's never had meltdowns. He ticks almost every other box for autism, except he's totally ok at reading body language/tone of voice, detecting sarcasm, etc. But identifying with autism really helps him, & that's what it should be for.

[@kalt1976]

Omg... The self diagnosis one is 100% me right now, without it even being a comedic exaggeration. I have been like that for about 7 months now, it is all I can think about. Constantly. Every friggin day. Reading everything I can find, watching 5 mill vids.. It's exhausting 😑

[@sachab6098]

On the self diagnosis/other people diagnosing you note, i unfortunately had a lot of experience with that, including the unfortunate talk with my providers who didnt agree with me. When i was growing up, everyone thought i was autistic. When i was bullied i was called the "r" word. My friends in college pinned me as austistic. Later i researched autism a bit and i didnt really find myself to be relating much, but i did relate a lot to adhd i thought, at least inattentive. In college one of my friends was exactly me except he was hyper and i never was to that extent. Well, after thinking about it for like a few years i talked it out with my providers and it didnt go well, so I kinda abandoned the whole idea. I got a new job, and im in general viewed as a neurotypical person for like the first time in my life lol. A neurotypical person who gives people cool rocks and keeps a giant jar of olives in the fridge. A lot of people are neurodivergent here and i think theyre quite a fun crowd. Anyways a few of my coworkers have adhd and a few have autism and just being around them, talking about life, reminds me about how normal, non-intense and non-dysfunctional i am.

[@miranda4073]

The way I look at my self-diagnosis lately is like Occam's Razor. If I relate strongly to a ton of autistic traits, if I experience overwhelm, meltdowns, and shutdowns and have my whole life, if I've always felt different and been seen by others as different as well, if I tend to form stronger friendships with neurodivergent people... how likely is it that there's some other explanation besides that I'm autistic? It just seems like the simplest conclusion. Anything else requires all these leaps of logic and weird psychological conundrums when the easiest and more likely answer is just: I'm autistic. I graduated from "I think I'm on the autism spectrum" to "I'm autistic" over the course of the past year and it feels so good to stop hedging and prevaricating and just accept that I know myself. I think I would like to pursue diagnosis in the future, but for now this is enough.

[@Dross_Flame]

Thank you for validating self diagnosis and referencing the research that goes into it. After my mother died i have noticed my symptoms dramatically got worse but i had never considered that ASD could even be a possibility. I have spent the last few months researching and watching experiences that the ASD community have shared and they are just explaining me. Obviously there are differences because it is a spectrum and the fear of being an imposter is real. I went my whole life not even knowing what autism really was and that contributed to the confusion. Im still scared about how my family will react and part of it is because i think my mom had undiagnosed autism that was never found before she died. There is a lot of family trauma and painful history that also muddy the waters and make it more complex to identify. Sorry im rambling but i have a hard time determining relevant information

[@Dross_Flame]

Also please forgive me as i am still researching and trying to tune in my understanding

[@annerigby4400]

I once met a lady at a holiday resort (our husbands were colleagues) and we enjoyed our conversations. It really bothered me that I could not remember her name... at all. I must have apologised fifty times over the two days before asking her what her name was again, because I just had to know her name because it felt unfriendly not to remember it so I kept reminding her by asking her repeatedly. Go ahead, find the logic in that! She was really very nice about it and it became a joke of sorts. She must remember me as the woman with an excessively short short short-term memory problem. I hate it when we've been places where everyone knows everyone but we don't and they proceed to introduce everyone and all I can think of is "will I be expected to remember anyone's name?" because I know I won't. Is this related to calling people the wrong name even when you know them very well.... calling the kids the dog's name, calling the kids by their siblings' names, calling friends other friends' names, etc.? I wonder.

[@casualtrainwreck7520]

It's for this reason that I call everybody some variation of 'Friend' 'Goblin' or 'Goon'

[@carnifaxx]

What I noticed in my partner is that he doesn't remember names if they are given in small talk, either because he's focused too much on the situation itself, or he just presumes they would never talk to him again, anyway... but when he's like... only observing a person, he would remember EVERYTHING about them. Even the tiniest details that don't mean anything, but I presume he doesn't know what in other human may actually be important, so his overall concept is that information about their closest family are probably on the same level of importance as him once seeing them accidentally kicking a threshold with their thumb - so this is probably what he would ask them as a small talk topic, even though it was 15 years ago and they forgot it in 5 minutes. (He refuses to accept he has many autistic traits (he's over 50, now, that's probably also a part of that), but I still incorporate advice I found relevant into our everyday life and it just works :) E.g. explaining even a simple situation like I would to a child seems to be very calming to him - what's going to happen, how long it would take, how loud it would be, what are completely ok options for him to do or not to do.)

[@maureenbrown302]

​@@casualtrainwreck7520😂

[@summerholt112]

The sandwiches, you butter them!? 😅 i only do that if it’s getting grilled or having honey lol but I bet it’s okay! I use mustard if it’s a regular cold sandwich

[@RutabegaNG]

This one starting at 2:29 hit hard. Especially the bit after the TikTok. 53 next week, ADHD dx 25 years ago, and while it fit, it didn't feel complete. A conversation I had at one of the conventions I attended put autism in my mind. Wondered off and on for literal decades. Then social media came along. Friends I'd known for 30 years were diagnosed, then FB started pushing videos and creators started talking about ADHD, then autism crept into a few of them. Next thing I know I'm on TikTok watching videos from late-diagnosed grown women, some older than I, and things start to make more sense. Then I see videos from people who are diagnosed with both ADHD and autism, find they are entirely too relatable, and find it finally acknowledge that it's possible that there's a slight chance that I could have a touch of the 'tism. That was about as definite as I was willing to get until I brought it up to my ADHD coach, who at one point was a licensed therapist. With the way I responded while watching that segment, I'm thinking maybe pursuing a professional assessment isn't a bad idea. Expensive, difficult, I'm in the US, but maybe worth looking into.

[@maggierestivo5256]

Love the meme with "safe foods". I'm NOT a vegan, as there are too many vegetables that seriously gross me out. Grew up in New England, USA (Boston, Massachusetts area, to be exact), and everything was bland, seafoody, and milky. UGH. SO many allergies, esp. to seafood.... My food sensory issues have to do with bland foods, and mushy foods, of any kind. I'm all about the spicy (which is why I am loving living in Maryland now, as there are a lot of Mexican/Latino foods in general that I love, but even THEY have mushy foods (guacamole, refried beans, etc.... *hurk!*). Thank you so much for your videos, I am a self-diagnosed woman from the US, aged 62, who is not sure about being diagnosed (too expensive, and have experienced so much medical gaslighting over the years, I am not sure I trust anyone to accurately diagnose me). It's ok, though So many things about my childhood in the 1960s and 1970s (yeah, I'm OLD!) make sense now. Love your videos! Keep up the good work, you do far more good than you know! Blessed be.

[@kate_lizzerd]

omg I’m so happy to find this channel! Descriptions from scientific articles and tests about autism are kinda vague. But when you talk about it and how it looks I’m like YESSS OMG IS THAT AUTISTIC TOO? Safe food, that’s golden! I literally eat like 5 different products, I’d eat macaroni and broccoli for my entire life. It’s always so hard to explain to people that prepared food and I don’t want it, like man don’t u see ITS GROSS

[@Milennys25]

Thank you for the validation. I go through waves of being, not being, ehh maybe, basically imposter syndrome & then I click a video like this and things resonate. Specially when you said, if you’re doing all these research about it, it’s probably because you are. So that helps❤ Still trying to find the right person to seek a diagnosis here in Puerto Rico. It’s hard.

[@aleisterlilywhite1109]

I always thought my meltdowns were panic attacks since I had been diagnosed with anxiety for so long.

[@flawlix]

Those look like soup dumplings, too. I LOVE soup dumplings, BUT they do tend to be squishy and sometimes burst when you bite into them. For me, it’s a pleasing squish and not a “makes me gag” squish, but I can totally see why someone wouldn’t like them.

[@sabinajoh]

I’m like that with green peas

[@its.Lora.]

I'm borrowing this one, "I dont know you, and I don't trust you", next time! Thank you so much for this video!

[@sarahgumball8597]

Oh my goodness that first girl and her hat were giving me life!

[@raspberrytaegi]

i was expecting this video to be anti-self-diagnosis based on the thumbnail, ngl. thank u for making this ❤

[@skulleteater]

ive done ten months of research about autism and thought about it consistently every day since i started considering it and only a few days ago was at comfortable enough to actually self diagnose, and i think its so funny that people just assume those with autism aren’t thorough

[@kira5612]

I love these videos! I’ve never got a diagnosis of any sort. Sadly in America the healthcare system is a bit of a mess and every time I would go to get clarity from a therapist or doctor they would completely ignore me and try to tell me labels are not important and I’d be like “ I know but I really feel like something is a bit different and I’d like some answers” so needless to say it’s really nice watching these videos. I don’t know if I’ll ever get answers but it’s nice to watch videos and read comments and know I have a group of people I can relate to on a lot of things ❤️- Kira

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

I'm skeptical that people want the diagnosis that haven't got significant, life impacting, traits. For those that have got the traits, it is a chance to accept ourselves for whom we are. I know that I've gone back and recognized how much shame and guilt I felt over things which I probably shouldn't have been in a position to do in the first place. Not to mention the things I would have done different if I had just known that I had these traits and that it would be a good idea to factor them in when making decisions.

[@secretlybees]

Some people don't know I have such life-impacting traits because I'm high masking and seem low support. I'm disabled due to, what we thought were horrible panic attacks, and am now seeing they're meltdowns. I also didn't know a lot of people had things easier. Like, I have forms of dyslexia and managed to get to trig/calculus by juust passing the advanced classes, but failed it 3 times in high school. My friend's brother has autism, so my friend was skeptical when I started thinking I did, but through discovering I'm autistic, I've realized the ways it ACTUALLY does disable me, and I think my friend is seeing it more now, too.

[@LaceyMyriah]

It’s so much more insidious than that. Most of us have gone most of our lives not knowing and it makes it so confusing. I’m so grateful that self-diagnosis is as accepted as it is in this community. It makes sense - no one BUT us can know how deep it all goes.

[@dmgroberts5471]

Diagnosing myself as Autistic gave me a framework to put all of my problem into, figure out why they were happening, and start mitigating them. My primary evidence for being Autistic, is that methods used by other Autistic people to live with their traits also help me in the same way. If I may use a simile, it's like if you thought you were possessed by demons, until you took some epilepsy medicine and your "possessions" stopped. That would strongly indicate you in fact had epilepsy.

[@avengedprophet1559]

I‘m actually realizing my actual strengths, weaknesses and needs much more since finding out about autism (also self diagnosed. But I’m on the path to a clinical diagnose). That’s already worth a lot to me.

[@timtreefrog9646]

I would hazard a guess to say that every autistic person has serious, life impacting traits. Traits which affect the way they interact with others. Common ones: Being bullied at school = life impacting. After that struggling in a job= life impacting. Not having good relationships (and hence a weak support system) = life impacting.

[@summerholt112]

I can’t even use my in-laws names!!! I thought I was wired!! Maybe it is an autistic thing! I got WAY too excited knowing that’s a thing!

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Yesss - I’m super self-conscious using my in-laws names even though they’re amazing and I see them every week 😂 When I do push myself to do it, it feels a bit like choking 😅

[@summerholt112]

@@imautisticnowwhat I literally only do it if I NEED their attention and they are just missing every signal or not hearing me say “hey 👋… hey!… ummmm “insert name” and it almost feels physically disturbing!

[@himbo754]

When meeting someone new, my brain goes into overload -- 100% activity level, no spare capacity to listen for the name and commit it to memory -- cannot even remember that I _should _ be remembering their name.

[@laurab.7260]

I love you're channel im actually not sure if I'm autistic ( my psychiatrist aren't sure either because I show symptoms that match the diagnosis and symptoms that don't...) but you're channel gives me so much comfort because I feel like I'm not alone in my neurodivergent experience. Thank you so much for showing me and others, that you can live a happy life even though you experience the world differently than others.

[@sarahgumball8597]

I definitely see food and if it looks dry , it’s a hard pass for me. I don’t like feeling like the food is gonna get stuck in my throat

[@juliamariaelisabeth2511]

Doing the research for months and gathering information and memories hit home for me, but for ADHD. Going to get assessed for ADHD but I'm very good at masking my chaoticness so half of my friends don't think I have it (mostly because they see me as organised). And my mom (who might have undiagnosed ADHD) just say that I'm perfect and normal, just different from my siblings that are very calm and make good choices in life. 😅

[@Crazakun]

The small talk video got me so much with the family part! I moved overseas, so visiting family always comes up in conversation. For the first few years, I could play off that it was just too expensive, or I can’t get time away from work, or I was studying, etc. Then COVID happened, so that gave me another 2-3 years to wave that hard discussion off. It’s been 10 years now, and I can’t use any more excuses! Everyone who knows me understands I don't want to go back even if they’re not sure why, but I must go through the **shocked Pikachu** reaction with every stranger I meet for the first time! And it’s such a common question for most people, but I wish they could at least stop and think “Hey, not everyone has a great family dynamic, so maybe I should hold off on asking what can honestly be a seriously personal question!” So exhausting!

[@abigailkirkham9120]

I'm really checking myself both kids being diagnosed, I thought everyone could hear electric lights all the time, hated small talk and couldn't hear well when wearing shades, but they help with social anxiety, I get so wound up meeting new people that I forget names instantly, I'm going to have to start writing everything down and weigh things upl

[@diakritika]

I used to eat fishsticks like that: first all the fish part, then all the crust.

[@bosstowndynamics5488]

22:10 The curse of this for me is I compulsively mask most of my interests so I can't really relate well to anyone now

[@sara04748]

The second TikTok...that is what I have been doing for some months now: researching, thinking that maybe it's all in my head, even asking my friends, my mum and my therapist for help, but they all told me that I am no one to do research and that I cannot possibly be autistic... p.s. I am Italian, and I am so grateful I can eat pasta nearly every day, because it is the best.

[@natalieyourgaylord2934]

I have dyspraxia as well and I always hear that toast is meant to be quick and easy to make but it takes me quite a while because I butter it slowly trying to cover every bit of toast without absolutely killing the bread lol

[@cattheveganartist]

A great trick with spreading spread/butter on bread easily is to warm the bread first. Maybe use the lowest/warming setting on a toaster - or just toast it for about 10 seconds to warm it. 😉

[@BellaRigelOrion]

I warm a couple pats of butter in a pan and then rub the bread around the pan to butter it! lol

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Genius!!

[@sabinajoh]

That’s why I love vegan butter! It’s so much softer so it’s really easy to spread

[@Warspite03]

Almost serious question: Is vegan butter just margarine with a 10x markup?

[@sweetlolitaChii]

Mealtime is so complicated in my household. Both my husband and I are autistic, but we have very different food texture and flavor issues and preferences, so most of the time we're eating different things in very particular ways. It must look so odd to others but it's the way it is 😂

[@kadenaustin-lane5686]

This really warmed up my day and lifted me up. Your video brought a ease, laughted and some sweet self reflecting. Thank u!

[@joybubbles]

"Obligatory telling you I'm fine" I have a line that I've taken to really well, when I'm having a terrible day and someone asks, I like to say I'm "Thriving in adversity" which tells them stuff is bad, but I'm not falling apart actively, and it's safe but novel enough that it makes people smile when they hear it, they wish they thought of it because it sounds witty without really meaning anything important.

[@nathananderson7962]

What people think autism self-diagnosis is: **scrolling tiktok** "hey guys, I'm autistic and I like blue-" omg my favorite color is blue I must be autistic too!!! What it actually is: okay so I've been researching for a year and I've finally gathered enough information to be sure that I'm autistic. Here is a 42 page list of every reason why and every experience I've ever had.

[@resourceress7]

If you find spreading with a knife difficult, consider trying using the back of a spoon. (The part that sits on your tongue when you use a spoon the regular way.) Much larger, more forgiving surface that works from a lot more angles than a knife does, and may less likely to get stabby. Also instead of cutting it in half, you can just fold each single piece of bread over on itself and it is the same size as a half of a sandwich.

[@beanoneya]

Weather is one of my special interests! Take that small talk!

[@MDev1997]

YUP I fully lived off of pasta with butter for SOOOOO long. Luckily some of my safe foods were veggies like broccoli. But pasta with butter was always my go-to and I still fall back on it when I'm really having a sensitive sensory day or don't feel well in any way.

[@kkso3318]

I'm really different with foods. I love to try new things and I love mashed potatoes. But I hate unmelted butter, onions, mushrooms, animal fats, raw fish. I can't stand the texture of any of those and gag. I LOVE to try new things (especially authentic foods from other countries). BUT, I have to know every single ingredient and I kinda have to SEE everything. But when I'm used to a good and know what it is, I don't have to see all the insides anymore. Like pulling apart egg rolls until I'm comfortable with them.

[@anabelsama]

My therapist has diagnosed me with autism, but I don't want an official one, I don't want my rights to be taken away and being treated like a child. Even some airlines can refuse service for being autistic

[@kendallcurtis7863]

I have read articles about people being denied for (insert problem that has to do with autism) -like mask wearing or needs for special accommodations- but I have not found anything about being denied simply for being autistic? Is this a thing? I have not got an official diagnosis because of wanting to avoid a potential future where I would regret it for something like this, but in my mind it still something I can say "I'm likely just being over-cautious". But if what you are saying is true, then I am not being overly-cautious. It's already happening. It doesn't seem likely though.

[@anabelsama]

@@kendallcurtis7863 i just saw a video of an autistic woman that has to renew her driver's license every year just bc she is autistic. For me it is not worth it, it is not like my government is going to give me any accomodations anyways

[@lexbel8394]

Same exact thing with me. I’m already an adult with a job and almost done with college. At this point an official diagnosis would only hurt me instead of help me. My therapist validates me and the validation is the only reason I’d get diagnosed

[@lexbel8394]

@@kendallcurtis7863I’ve heard that you’ll be barred from immigrating to certain countries. And they were surprising ones too…like otherwise very progressive and mental health positive countries. I think Canada and New Zealand are a few. I’ve also vaguely heard about instances of being denied adoption, IVF, etc, but not sure of the details on that.

[@sabinajoh]

Wouldn’t that be against discrimination laws?? It sucks none the less

[@JustSaralius]

I really usually need to blend my foods as I find it overwhelming to just experience one texture or flavour over and over if that makes sense? And I enjoy how different things go together. So I feel like I'm opposite to the stereotype of separating food. 😅 But I have a memory of my dad showing me that combining a bit of everything on the plate is like "how you're meant to eat and it tastes nicer like that" or something (in a gentle way, not judgy), when I was having a hard time eating (like I mostly did) and just picking at the food. I was maybe 5 idk, but that really enriched my sensory experience I think. I still struggle with food a lot though and need to portion out things when I eat so that it's all equal, buy mostly I struggle with food aversion.

[@thisbushnell2012]

i thought learning everything about autism after the eye-opening Aspergers diagnosis would arm me to 'stop being autistic'. 50+ years, despite all efforts and learning to a degree how to mask my oddness, IT IS WHAT I AM. I AM HARDWIRED THAT WAY. That will NEVER change.