Autistic Self Confidence Pep Talk | How to Not Care About What Other People Think of You

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Paige Hennekam
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ROYALE TOWN & COUNTRY REALTY
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Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Paige layle, paigelayle, paigelayle tiktok, tiktok videos, autistic, autistiktok, autistok, autism spectrum disorder, Aspergers, Aspergers syndrome, autism in girls, dsm, autistic kid, autism mom, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance

[@realpaigelayle]

Thank you to Aura for supporting me on my journey of wellbeing & sleep! Get started with Aura today for free & the first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off+ free trial to the Aura membership: aurahealth.io/paigelayle this app is amazing and I cant wait for you guys to try it out! Whats your fave feature?

[@seivionfisher3422]

I like your channel so much my name is seivion fisher I have a autism

[@jakemastronardi3307]

You are very confident Paige.

[@supermario35327]

he was a skater boy she said see you later boy :)

[@oops6876]

“I don’t like a lot of people” followed by “I love people” is so bizarrely relatable

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

Yeahhh 🥴

[@cath3638]

😂ABSOLUTELY!

[@timpeters9616]

I love the idea of people. Not so much the execution, at times.

[@HaleyMary]

Yep! I don't like most people. I love maybe a hundred people, both friends and acquaintances. And, that's being generous.

[@rendexvousy]

i love humanity. we're so cool. look at the amazing things we can do. i hate humanity. we suck. look how awful we make things. yeah idk it depends on the day for me lol

[@portraitoftheautist]

"we all know neurotypical people are dumb" somebody finally said it. Go for it Paige, love your channel ❤

[@Rhovanion85]

There not dumb, they’re ignorant

[@Baptized_in_Fire.]

Sweet validation

[@freddie-xm5yw]

Autistic rant/vent: Sometimes feeling autistic feels like shouting while underwater because no one can hear me or understand me. I was talking to my non autistic boyfriend about this a few months ago, and he said "I will never understand you, but I can try to" which confused me even fucking more bc wtf does that even mean. Ofc asking loads of questions about what that means only made it more confusing, and he got progressively more frustrated with me. I wish I could understand people and I wish they could understand me. It's such a basic human experience that every NT person gets and often takes for granted. People also love to take advantage of me because I can't understand/deduce intentions, which doesn't help this feeling. I don't feel like this all the time, I love being autistic sometimes, but sometimes it's just really difficult.

[@wetboy72]

Up to, last week, I never thought I’d be so confident. Last week, I attended a mental health workshop and I just blew all the health professionals away. They didn’t except a well crafted argument for more support given to autistic people. Then someone said I would be a great autism ambassador, I never realised how powerful my voice is. Thanks for this

[@TelainaMuir]

I would love an info dump of what you said!

[@wetboy72]

@@TelainaMuir I basically told them, that the support services were non existent and I only got support when I hit crisis point. I also suggested that they listen to the service user and personalise the support package. This may be happening soon as I have been asked to work on a project.

[@TelainaMuir]

@@wetboy72 awesome, thank you. How exciting about the project! Good luck 👍

[@ciaraskeleton]

​@@wetboy72brilliant! Your voice is SO powerful, I'm glad you've realised 😊😊

[@Lauren-ks4ep]

As an autistic person I very much needed this, and I found parts of this so relatable and was laughing during the parts I relate to

[@alexandrarifenburg8135]

I have a tendency to watch your videos (and a few other autistic creators I follow) and get a spark of "You just said the thing I haven't ever had the words to say! Let me write that down and keep it safe so I can use it the next time I have to explain!" or "That's not quite what I experience, but your specific combination of words and your specific word choice just made something else click in my brain - I should write it down!" And then I never do write it down, because I want to watch the video and I can't do that if I'm distracted by trying to write down my epiphanies. And then, by the time I'm done, the beautiful, perfect phrasing is gone from my head (oftentimes, its entire existence is forgotten about, so I don't even remember to try to go back and rewatch a section to write it down). Which leads to moments like this, where I'm rewatching your content and having new "That's it!!!!" moments that I want to write down 😂

[@MIOLAZARUS]

Same❤

[@MIOLAZARUS]

Thank you so so so so much ❤❤❤

[@-ellieille-]

I didn’t realize until now that my unmasked self is much more confident than my masked self. I’m in a big transitional period of my life right now, so keeping this in mind will be very helpful I think!

[@TomsOnUK]

It’s great you addressing very important facts about how to improve autistic peoples mental health and build up their confidence

[@Gnomereginam]

I'm so scared of being the "there you are" person because I feel they'll think I'm caring but it takes so much of me to keep up with someone and contact them.

[@xirabmth4695]

Same, or that my people pleaser habits will get taken advantage of. That's probably social anxiety wanting me to stay in my lonely comfortable box though

[@stephaniemand]

Omg I honestly thought I was one heck of a weird human for always pulling so much deep trauma or life stories from people in meeting them less than 5 minutes. And they just open up so freaking easily towards me and I just have this vibe of ‘inviting people to be vulnerable’.

[@anna-fleurfarnsworth104]

Fuck, yeah I guess that might not be "normal" for a lot of people

[@abigailsanderson5943]

People do this to me too, i don't get it why me?

[@princeprimrose00]

This is the perfect timing, I literally NEEDED this. Thank you Paige.

[@nateo200]

Same!

[@NFSMAN50]

Me three

[@rachelotremba8100]

Me four

[@jmfs3497]

Oh! Gray Rocking is kind of cool for confidence. It's usually used to navigate narcissists and OCPD people, but it is also nice to use to feel like I don't have to react to everything everyone says or does. I can just do my own thing when in public, kind of like parallel play. Not feeling obligated to do anything is good for confidence. I can go out to see a band play, and then stand around outside and never really go in if I don't feel like it. I can leave if I want to. Honesty is also pretty cool for me as someone older. I can just say "Yeah I get overstimulated by noise sometimes, so if I bail it's just because I need some quiet time, not because I'm unhappy. How are you? It's good to see you!" Telling people it's good to see them makes them feel pretty good, too, and then they don't care what you do with yourself.

[@pokelover02]

I thought my masking self was my confident self, but after watching this, I think it’s the opposite! Like, it’s so frustrating to me when I’m in class or at a work meeting where people are asked to share their thoughts and everyone is dead quiet. Why!? I’m always the one who ends up speaking up, and I’ve been given a lot of leadership roles for that reason. But why are neurotypicals like this?? Also, I love your top!! It’s so cute 🍓

[@The482075]

"Tell the world you're autistic online." I did do that. Some chap who had never met me demanded I seek a cure for my autism. They kept saying that my autism was a liability and that it was my moral responsibility to seek the cure. They then gave me a link to it. It was quite a conversation. One I'll never forget.

[@yurigagarin9765]

Talking about autism online is an incredible shortcut to discover how confidently ignorant a lot of people are capable of being.

[@autisticcaroline2005]

Oh wow ! I’m so sorry that you went through that ! Abusing autistic people and other disabled people is never okay !

[@LittleLuluAndMilo]

I’ve had ocd, obsessive thoughts trying to mind read my boyfriends thoughts all night and its been horrible and addictive. So watching your video after a night like that was such synchronicity. I need to let go and i can’t read his mind. And like you said, i probably don’t want to and thoughts are fleeting and he treats me sooo well. I’m just hurting my own feelings assuming bad things. Thank you thank you for helping me try to get out of this obsessive thought loop

[@user-jp3bu6cx9q]

“There you are” instead of “here I am”… love that! I’ve been wanting to approach to some of my coworkers, and I feel like that was a really nice way to look at things. Thanks for sharing Paige!

[@j.1353]

This video was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I genuinely feel like I have never felt this seen and understood before, you perfectly described so many aspects of my experience being autistic. I just finished my studies at the top of my class and deep down I know I'm more than qualified. And yet my social anxiety and fear of not fitting into society have me terrified that I will be the only one to not find a job. Thank you for inspiring me to become more confident in who I am. It's true, despite all the hardships, my autism is also what makes me a more thoughtful and capable person than many neurotypicals. Years of trying to fight against my autism have only made things harder for me, it's time to embrace who we are and not define ourselves by society's values. We know better.

[@Stuman57]

This was a great one! Thanks for this Paige. I'm 54. from Toronto. Over the last year or so, I've been having a lot of OMG! moments. It's because of people like you, I've self diagnosed and have an appointment for a diagnosis of ADHD and ASD in October. But more importantly, I now understand that it's not my fault, and it never was. That understanding itself, changed my world.

[@jmaessen3531]

Yay welcome to the crew! 👏🏻 Similar boat here: Got my professional ADHD diagnosis about 1.5 years ago. Self diagnosed autistic at 32 and eagerly awaiting my assessment with a professional next month. Already though, my self-acceptance has grown exponentially and the shame associated with how I thought I "should" have been doing things is lessening rapidly. Here's to finally finding the answer to the question we've been scratching our heads about for SO long 🥂

[@Catlily5]

My self-acceptance has also gotten much better since I have been diagnosed. Self diagnosis wasn't enough for me. I doubted it too much.

[@GeinsArtAndCraftSupplies]

Yes! Whenever I notice autistic people being self conscious and uncomfortable, trying to mask hella hard, I'm like "You don't have to do that! You're interesting and fun and I want to see more of you!" It gets so much easier when you realize everyone's kinda winging it and has times that they feel unsure. (And I am also wearing strawberry print as I watch this. Synchronized Strawberries)

[@audreyw9784]

Yeah, sometimes it can be tough when we overstimulate each other with our quirks, but I would much rather have that and know that I am meeting their genuine selves. And I have Synchronized Strawberries: Stealth Mode 😂

[@Taylorislife13]

Its crazy how just actually listening to someone is life changing in our current society

[@douggieeeee]

i'm not sure i can put into words how helpful this is. thank you so much. i love people too but i have no idea how to fucking socialize and this video definitely helped my mindset

[@Catlily5]

I like welcoming new people because I wasn't welcomed. I think that they appreciate it.

[@DeeWeber]

7:59 - 9:24 Pure gold! Ask yourself who you like, not who likes you, and make a list.❤

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I have no trouble feeling sadness or anger, whatsoever. Now, other things...I'm not as chipper as most people. I don't always feel super happy and ecstatic.

[@nateo200]

Similar experience I had lol. Part of it is the appearance of confidence by saying things others might be afraid to say where we might just say it brutally honest

[@duikmans]

I have a tendency to that at the office... let's just say upper management isn't "amused"

[@nateo200]

@@duikmans I bet lol

[@anakagan7682]

@realpaigelayle I am 35 years old mom of 3 kids and I was watching your videos and I realized that I am not going to hide it anymore, I was diagnosed with autismt at 6 years old, I was ashemed and always trying to mask! Thanks to you, you help me to decide to open my bussines and Autism and help the Adults and Kids. WE ARE NOT SUPERHEROE'S WE ARE NOT A PIECE FROM PUZZLE, WE JUST NEED MORE HELP!!!

[@sonicfan82]

We are our own stories to make, but I’m not bothered by the puzzle, because, I know that help is just what we need.

[@anakagan7682]

@@sonicfan82 That's true ! We are our own stories! I am glad that Page have such a great subscribers and support team.

[@lowwastehighmelanin]

I relate to this. My dad always told me I have too much confidence. No, papa, I simply always knew myself and what I want and like and that's totally fine. I am sad he doesn't feel like that but I think it was projection. He sees it as arrogance. I see it as assertive 🤷🏾

[@DreamtaleEnjoyer]

I have a confidence tip! I call it, _~Artificial Arrogance~_ Basically the thought process is "I'm the best, smartest, prettiest, etc person in this room and I'm going to act like it, but I'm not going to say it or be mean because I'm also the nicest person in this room." Or, if you're not to the point of believing it, genuinely just fake it. It'll still make you feel better. Apply every positive adjective to yourself. Act like you're literally a god/goddess. You might just end up feeling like one

[@maynababineau6101]

Not knowing when to throw things away was always the number 1 thing stopping me from snacking in class

[@BrianBorges-ez3ls]

Hey Paige! This is some very sage advice. Of course, it's still difficult to act on good advice, but never stop doing what you're doing on this channel, Paige! I wish someone like you had been there 25-35 years ago, because you would have made my life MUCH easier -- as you ARE doing it for your followers. Just keep being you. Thanks!💕

[@bridgez04]

I had such a bad day yesterday when my depression fully took over cuz of all of my anxieties towards becoming an autistic adult and going to college. This is just what I needed

[@missjuliarenee]

Just started a Masters program in Special Ed and surprise! I should have been diagnosed with autism when I was a toddler. (Realized this on our first reading in our autism class) I’m so glad to have found you because I always thought “oh I can’t be autistic, I’m great a social stuff” (wow I’m great at masking!) I definitely have similar traits to you- need planning/routine, sensory overload. Just, thanks for being you and making your videos. It makes me feel so much less alone being an autistic woman. 💕

[@-ANERD-]

I relate sm to your experience and this video is perfect, my mask is a lot less confident then i am, its more for following others and this video reminds me that im not meant to follow others and mask and be less than i am for the sake of fitting in, and i can be unapologetically myself. Thank you sm for that.

[@DOGGEDROMAN]

MOST OF US HAVE PTSD FROM ABUSE OVER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. PEOPLE LITERALLY MURDER US OVER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.

[@jmfs3497]

Undiagnosed, but it took me decades to simply let go of... everything. I've worn the same outfit for 15 years and I LOVE it! I like looking at other people's fun fashion, but I try to make my "uniform" fun for me. It was bad to wear the same outfit every day in junior high, and now no one cares. I love it. School and culture is kind of designed for neurotypicals, too, so it's like ASD folks took everything literally when we didn't have to, and the NT people that the rules were designed for didn't listen anyway. I love being me, now. I used to feel bad about it, because people run their mouths about other people's business all the time, and now I pretend I'm deaf. I am nice, but I don't really try to engage most people if I don't feel like it. I like the little conversations that happen in "liminal spaces" rather than standing around in crowds and being overstimulated by busy conversations.

[@autisticcaroline2005]

I love you Paige! Thank you so much for advocating for people like me ! I wish I had someone like you when I was little , because if someone had advocated for me , it would’ve been a lot better, because I would’ve felt okay !

[@kinashy8863]

I'm a shy autistic, introverted person with social anxiety and this kinda helped me. I'll have to watch it many times tho

[@DemolitionTurtle]

Thanks Paige, I love this. I don't agree with everything you said in this video, but I think that's very in keeping with the spirit of it 😅I've recently started trying to be more of a 'there you are' person (and I love that terminology) and want to keep doing it more. People love talking about themselves and feeling seen and appreciated, and it's so easy to give someone that, and they will often really appreciate you for it. "I have never once murdered everybody" is the best line I've heard in a while 😂

[@audreyw9784]

I know! 😂 and that wording leaves the possibility of maybe not everybody, but somebody!

[@dead1097]

I avoided this video for 3 weeks because I was scared I wouldn't be able to follow this advice either. BUT you actually gave ways of doing and not just abstract "oh just be confident" THANK YOU

[@haleydropthemike]

Figuring out what you like is good advice. That's something I've been working on lately. Side note: although I can't read minds, I do think we're supernatural beings (spirit/soul in a physical body). I see what you mean though. It's not worth worrying about what other people think of us, because we don't know what they're thinking, and them thinking it doesn't make it's true. What matters is being genuine to myself and what I like. They might end up LIKING the real me, and that would be a bummer if I hid it to try to please them!

[@transsexual_void_fairy]

without being mean, i am saying this: this video is very contradictory on multiple layers.

[@delilahhart4398]

I'm over 40 and am also autistic. I have dealt with self-loathing for pretty much my entire life. I'm glad that you have accomplished this level of confidence at a very young age.

[@bluntforcetanya]

People open up to me super fast too. Like shit they don't tell anyone for some reason they're confiding in me about & we might not even talk outside of whatever single context we know each other. Especially guys!

[@DaniCal1forn1a]

I RELATE SO HARD TO THE UNMASKED ME BEING THE CONFIDENT ONE! It really is soooo freeing being unapologetically yourself 🥰

[@Grace.allovertheplace]

Hi Page, I accidentally deleted my initial comment, so this comment will become what it is…, because the time is 2:06am & I need to wake up soon (🙃🙃) So for now, I first saw your TikTok’s & I was very impressed by the way you educate people about how it’s to be autistic in a world where I think you said, people in your everyday life couldn’t understand l/phantom you had,,was born autistic and I remember how frustrating it was to hear. You were persistent and you successfully (imo) managed to keep up people’s interest! And at the time (2019/2020?) I’d still not been clinically diagnosed with autism,,I was clinically diagnosed with adhd but I’d felt for a long time something was missing. So, eight (8) weeks ago I was finally diagnosed with autism and it felt both great but I also felt like a huge sadness or something similar. Now when I know I have fantastic support. The things I do find difficult is, I assume similar to what you described, that *people are questioning me* (how is it possible that I can keep eye contact etc, it absolutely affects mec have a negative impact. But I do my best to try and educate myself as best as I can. I’m 42 years old, and the bravery, the courage and determination you showed still to this day means a lot for me. To me though this only proves that, as you say in this video *be that person who is interested in others, don’t try & be interesting!* My sincere thanks to you Page for continuing to work on educating people, both all of us with autism and neurotypical people. Thank you, thank you, thank you, your videos are very informative and helpful even at my age. With kindness and respect, Grace🙏🩰 (English isn’t my first language and I apologize in advance for grammatical mistakes and misspellings)

[@NFSMAN50]

Why you mind reading me Miss Paige, are you a psychic or something lol hahaha Jk. Happy Monday Paige, this is very helpful for us ND folk, because rejection sensitive dysphoria is a real thing. I found out that we care waay too much than the average neurotypical, probably because we face more ostracization and critique since the day we are born. Hope everyone is doing good

[@thesupergamer85]

I feel like I've never related to a video so much in my entire life. I needed all of that advice. Thank you! 🙂

[@kiwiii37]

Your job is to be interested not interesting is so helpful honestly

[@lovelyxrosez6589]

Thank you Paige for this video, it's helped me look at different perspectives to not be so mindful of what others think of me. I want to start building confidence! I really liked how you mentioned the "There you are" method instead of "here I am" in social interactions. I believe I already do this in a lot of my social interactions/in social settings but it isn't really about confidence, it stems from never wanting someone to feel left out like I was. Being autistic, I struggle to navigate group settings and was often left out of many trios and groups and it always felt like I had to put so much effort to be heard or included (esp. when I was younger). Now, in social situtations, I strive to make everyone feel seen, heard, and included, I want everyone to know they matter because I know how it feels to feel insignificant!

[@rossb7899]

You’re amazing and as someone who is autistic, I feel less lonely when I hear you speak.

[@Joepage69]

Really good advice for anybody I think

[@ammogan]

Yup! You are BFF material in my book! ❤ And I hate most people (NTs) @ 10:50 when you said NTs were dumb 😂😂😂 My boss the other day asks me; "Why do you do your work this way? Everyone else does it this other way. The way your doing it takes longer" I respond; "Isn't that may name at the top of that goal board?" He looks, nods and walks away 😅 He knows I'm audhd but has no idea what it is. He talks to me like I'm a fragile puppy or something. 🙄

[@Joepage69]

I have a stoplight idea I know how to make it actually safer to cross the street using a crosswalk where is right now it’s actually safer to go across when the crosswalk tells you not to. I don’t know how to sell this to the people who make the crosswalk shit.

[@user-ut8vb7cd2m]

I really believe in self confidence. I am a woman who has autism too. I really believe we are always worthy and we have potential. you are very helpful to people like us and even others. I agree with your ideas and advice. stay positive. you are amazing.

[@simonmcglary]

Confident in certain situations! Talking about day to day, forget it, about sport and I’m not even there. I need to go deep on the subject though.

[@gemmamccabe6964]

Best intro ever. Never stop. You are so needed.

[@mookiemon]

Me: do I really need an autistic self confidence pep talk, what would that even be about Also me: wait how can u see my soul

[@Emptynogin1]

This video works wonders for me. The way that you think about confidence and how you try to be the one that "sees" other people is very much how I think when I'm in a positive mental state, but sometimes my own self-doubt gets the best of me. Watching this video makes it clear to me when I'm being bogged down by something and how to return to my own happy self when I'm ready. This is the second time now that I'm watching this and I doubt it will be the last!

[@Catlily5]

I am not nervous about socializing normally. It is after I am done socializing that I question myself to death on how I handled the socializing.

[@thekiahjane]

I NEEDED this video today.

[@sarelins]

this video could be retiltled “all the things i think that are strange to other people that cause me to be more confident than others but are natural ideologies to me and i’ve never heard anyone else have them” so thx!

[@Amber-xi8bq]

Thank you, the timing of this is great. It hits hard but I need to hear it.

[@M13C7]

I fully agree with you on here. I been super insecure for most of my life, super shy and scared as a child, teen and even adult. In college i felt so insecure like im the worst person. And then i went "outside" and realized the same you said here. People are dumb. They dont know shit. Their advice does not help me. Everyone pretends to know it all and be the best at everything. I realized i only care about the opinions that are backed up with concrete advice how i can improve, or why my way is ineffective or hurtful. And i only care about opinions of those i trust. Further, i know im trying my best and i have knowledge about stuff. There have been enough situations where my way to do things was the correct one, where i been simply the best for the job. And honestly, those two factors really gave me confidence. But also to me personally confidence is a temporary state. Like i aint gonna be confident flying a plane, i never did that. I would suck at it. But why should i be confident at it? I am however really good at typing fast and accurate so if you asked me to write down some shit, i would be confident to do that. So confidence exists only in context. And most people say im a confident person because i do my thing, and i socially dont care much about other people or their opinions. But they dont know im OCD and perfectionistic and i take criticism to heart if its something i care about like a project im working on.

[@forest_g_]

4:05 this is something i get stuck on - because yes, social rules are made up and silly and who ACTUALLY knows them? but on the other hand, it seems like when you break a social rule people let you know - you get the weird looks, the whispers, etc. like you can tell that something’s off - so it’s like, okay well there MUST be some kind of rules there then, right? and like, i SHOULD be following them, right? like that’s what i’m supposed to do?? and like, a people talk about them - like as a kid you’re taught not to stare at people or point at them because it’s rude, you’re taught to say please and thank you, you know? i don’t know if any of this made sense and this was very rambly - but i just can’t get my head around that part anyways, great video as always! i always get super excited when i see your videos in my subscriptions! 💛

[@brahmanwithin6623]

ADHD, OCD and autism is a bit of a thing but to be honest I just embrace my quirks and make them a part of my personality.

[@charlotterose4290]

I love the 'be interested, not interesting' !!!

[@anarchisttechsupport6644]

Le me, pushing 40: Thanks Big Sis Paige! I needed this today. Edit: No Cap.

[@Screamsintovoid]

This is perfect I’ve needed something like this forever thank you

[@kayjay-kreations]

I care way to much what people think and I hate how much I think about everything !!!! over and over and I am autistic and 60 and tired of it . my sister dosn't believe my diagnosis and I can't deal. She is my older sister who picked on me as a kid and I was always confused by that. Wanting her approval and understanding is way too important to me and she worked with autistic kids for 15 years and has emotional regulation problems herself Is sensitive but not to others pain.

[@terraheinrichs6987]

I feel so happy for you that you're already this smart at this age! You just trounced me with truth bombs and I'm 40. And I leave these videos feeling better about myself as well. Confirms my theory that the best thing one can do to help others is to work on making oneself more awesome.

[@jamiegdubois]

As someone who was recently diagnosed, thank you for this! Also, random side note: I love your outfit!

[@avril99887766]

Paige I just want to say that you look beautiful in this strawberry dress! 🤍🍓

[@desuMaKun]

There will be people that don’t like you and you need to be okay with it. Is the most important mantra I’ve learned as someone with autism. Oh yeah! Learning to argue has been amazing! It’s so fun to express what you like and get a bit flustered, and end up laughing together in the end^^

[@ckblackwoodmusic]

Thanks a million for this, big sis who's younger than me 😉❤

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I think being insecure is a natural part of being a human.

[@lethalprincess2087]

But the problem for me with asking about other people is that I always ask things that make them uncomfortable, or that make them feel as though I'm challenging them. Like for genuine reason, I want to know why people feel the way they do, so I'll ask, "Oh, really? How interesting. So why do you feel that way? What made you come to that conclusion?" Which I've learned from enough social situations to gather that it implies you don't feel the same way about the idea, hence the reason it is also implied that you ask in order to know the other side. And not only that; I'd feel obligated to vocally agree with them after said answer, in order to avoid unwanted tension-even if I don't think or feel the same way personally. So these days, I've been laying off asking things like that, even if it does peek my interest.

[@lethalprincess2087]

@@Witsandblades Agreed! In that regard, it's definitely a plus, especially since I'm actually an English major in college. In order for me to understand the motivation behind authors' works, as well as what literary devices they choose to use/how and why they choose to use them (along with plot, theme, rhetoric devices, etc), I must be unapologetically inquisitive. So it is very helpful when I am already naturally invested into what an author is trying to communicate through his or her writing, because it aids me in answering the questions my future profession requires me to teach others to answer as well. But it also helps me understand what type of questions and implications my writing should be posing for readers, so they can both identify theme and create their own inferences that stem from a hopefully induced curiosity. I'll shut up now, but I agree 😆😂

[@lethalprincess2087]

@@Witsandblades that's also some good advice though; maybe I can work on phrasing it differently 🤔

[@sinity8068]

> there are reasons why the world is the way it is, people are enforcing it The world isn't the way it is by design, intentions of some actual people. It's mostly because of dynamics like: > In some competition optimizing for X, the opportunity arises to throw some other value under the bus for improved X. Those who take it prosper. Those who don’t take it die out. Eventually, **everyone’s relative status is about the same as before, but everyone’s absolute status is worse than before.** The process continues until all other values that can be traded off have been - in other words, until human ingenuity cannot possibly figure out a way to make things any worse. > **Any human with above room temperature IQ can design a utopia. The reason our current system isn’t a utopia is that it wasn’t designed by humans.** Just as you can look at an arid terrain and determine what shape a river will one day take by assuming water will obey gravity, so **you can look at a civilization and determine what shape its institutions will one day take by assuming people will obey incentives.** > But that means that just as the shapes of rivers are not designed for beauty or navigation, but rather an artifact of randomly determined terrain, so institutions will not be designed for prosperity or justice, but rather an artifact of randomly determined initial conditions. Just as people can level terrain and build canals, so **people can alter the incentive landscape in order to build better institutions. But they can only do so when they are incentivized to do so, which is not always.** As a result, some pretty wild tributaries and rapids form in some very strange places.

[@iesmeh]

Really appreciating these videos. Have recently begun to really come to terms with being wholly autistic, without a doubt. The more I learn and recognize my own life experience in what others describe, the more I've been convinced. I'm worried about how little people in general know about autism. If I tell people I meet that I'm autistic, often they just don't understand or have a very narrow view of what autism is.

[@esnabi31]

Wonderful tips!!! I have found several of these myself but so lovely to hear it all in one place from one of my favorite content creators!! Especially autistic creators

[@gregzeng]

Good to subscribe to your channel. Your observations about babyhood, etc are similar to mine. 0:31 I'm autistic even still though not every person's autism does these things mine 0:35 even didn't do these things for a long time but a lot of the confidence that 0:40 comes from me are the parts that are not masking when I am masking I'm less 0:45 confident I'm like more shy and in the I blend in it's my truest self Aged 74, retired social worker, Australia. In my life experience, the party extroverts are often deeply autistic. Often these (older) people use chemicals to bypass their true personalities. Emotional disinhibitory, like alcohol, or other party-time drugs, to join the group activities.

[@floridaLise]

You are "Me" Upgraded! Thank you so much for sharing. You can't imagine how much you help.

[@Aurelie-ob3jv]

Needed this so badly without even knowing. Thank you so much, not only for this video but also all the others, you changed so many things in my life in the good way

[@luvkiki444]

you’ve helped me sooo much!!!! tysm big sister paige !!

[@winterdragon0]

This was really encouraging! Also I love your srrawberry shirt❤️

[@spencermacaw12335]

The end of the video song is legendary

[@thetonytaye]

sometimes people will come up to me at work when i’m loading a trailer and try to start a conversation with me and they seem super cool, but then i feel bad because i’m just trying to focus on my work and i genuinely don’t really know how to respond to what they’re saying so i just smile and nod AND IT JUST NEVER FEELS NATURAL SO I GET INTERNALLY ANXIOUS THAT IT’S GONNA COME ACROSS AS SARCASTIC 😂 and now i’m afraid that they probably think that i have some personal problem with them or something… ugh…

[@LynIsALilADHD]

I feel like masked me is absolutely lacking in any confidence. Tbh, i cant say its a thing i was familiar with until i started to actively work on unmasking which only happened when i started to think autism. At 37 years. 37 loooooong insecure years.

[@veronicabramlett2005]

I've always said people either love me or hate me, there's no middle ground. I was lucky to be raised in a community that was all about being your true self and it is beautiful. Homeschooled(really unschooled) and went to a Unity church. I often think that I can be TOO confidant, and I don't see the flaws in me that others see, but I don't care and continue on in my I'm the most awesome person in the world mentality. 😀

[@marcolaich994]

Honestly u r such a queen!!!

[@nylpurfi9896]

The planning thing hit hard oh my god

[@tabithajones2890]

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS !!!!!!!!!!

[@beepboop9976]

This changed my perspective. Thank you

[@colbstaysver]

LOVE YOU PAIGE

[@starlightrose4087]

I live in a house with a few neurotypicals and im sorry telling us we dont have to be afraid, or we can just be us and they dont matter. Thats from wat i see where i live the complete opposite of the autistic community. We are hidden and only the Neurotypicals truly dont care wat they do or say they judge us heavily though in society.

[@thomblybelearning9346]

I think I'm asking the scary mob that likes to kick things that fall over. I prefer not to anger that guy. Problem is with the whole communal animal thing. I can't realistically avoid mob mentality if I'm gonna keep trying to human. Especially on the interwebs. Great vid. Thanks!

[@briannasouthwell4304]

Oh wow. I am that first type of masking you mentioned, and all of your questions were making me laugh so so hard- Like no sound coming out hard - because ouch wow that's me and it's hilarious. I never realized until the last few years, that no one thinks about anything as much as I think about literally everything - and the thought projection *0.0* Thank you for being your weird so that my weird could learn from your weird. Also - spooky dooky is the best

[@aka.roryyy]

gdi Paige. i needed to hear All of this. i didn't realise *how* much of my anxiety is a product of the tism. 💀

[@aka.roryyy]

i'm going to play this as my morning guided meditation from now on

[@Damanticore]

Damn, I had a song stuck in my head I was gonna look up after this and the end of the video song knocked it right out.

[@jesterr7133]

My version of Autism is called Autism with an IDGAF profile. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. I grew up being taught that I always had to worry about what other people think about me. I took a long time for me to unlearn that. If anyone has a problem with me, then it's their problem, not mine.