My Abusive Father Died || Complicated Experience with Death of an Abusive Parent || Autumn Beckman

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My Abusive Father Died || Complicated Experience with Death of an Abusive Parent || Autumn Beckman
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[@AutumnBeckman]

Full disclosure, I filmed this video a few days after my father died but am posting it a year later. Emotions were high at the time and I didn't want to post such sensitive content while in the middle of that. A year out, with time to process and more clarity, I hope sharing my experience will help others who are going through something similar...a very complicated mix of emotions for a situation not often discussed.

[@valerieblouch5409]

Full disclosure. I also had a difficult childhood. My father had anger management issues and a violent temper. My mom was bi-polar. There were 4 kids, of which I was the second oldest. As the oldest daughter I was required to become my parent's caretakers and 'mom' for my siblings. I did mountains of laundry, cleaned the house, got groceries, planned & cooked meals and washed stacks of dishes. My Dad was a good provider, so we didn't have to deal with poverty. We did however deal with never measuring up and non existent emotional support. Thankfully my parents lived long enough for me to process, accept and own my reality. I stopped being ashamed of where I came from. I was proud of who I had become. A Phoenix rising from the ashes of chaos. Stories like ours are hard to live through and even harder to share. So proud of you. 💞

[@Diane574]

♥️

[@tiamarnie7323]

❤

[@Intuition_malnutrition]

❤

[@Millie-R.0731]

@@valerieblouch5409❤

[@irishmarie9892]

Girl….the fact that you managed to deal with all that and still remain YOU is a testament to your character and will. You’re an inspiration, know that. 😊

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. I appreciate that. ❤️

[@JennyLaureys]

You have dealt with this whole situation in a very brave and intelligent way. Respect!

[@roziongjoco-gomez3258]

You are so eloquent in explaining the whole situation. Although I have lost both my parents over 30 years ago, this video will be so helpful to others.. thank you

[@Dancemom-hw2jt]

Dealing with a narcissistic parent can be so difficult! You are such a strong woman.

[@christineshugrue6601]

No matter what your current job … you are still a teacher .. teaching all of us about the hard choices and more

[@AutumnBeckman]

True. Education has always been one of my biggest interests. I started this channel to help educate people about bags they couldn't always see in person. Didn't realize I'd also end up talking about things like this. ❤️

[@Jo-Mag]

Agree!

[@maikehudson333]

Sometimes relief is the only possible response to a person’s passing.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Indeed.

[@erzebetb]

YES! i understand completely. i left my toxic family 25 yrs ago and it saved my life. a freedom like no other. take care. warm hugs.

[@1971Brena]

15:15 ....you were just protecting yourself ❤🙏🏾

[@THE_Lena]

I was estranged from my father. I recently found out he passed away and the first emotion that came over me was relief.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I get it. Sorry you had a bad relationship with him.

[@annied3315]

I hope the year since his death has brought you peace and healing. The demons and lasting hurts of our childhood are brutal.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. ❤️ Those little demons pop up when you least expect them sometimes. Jerks.

[@terrifromm5085]

Your father was your parent biologically and you owed him nothing. You had every right to turn your back on him. You have risen above this chapter and I commend you on your bravery and willingness to make a video about your father. I applaud you.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@pasitheathanatosasmr488]

I can’t watch this because it’s hard for me personally, but I liked it and skipped to the end in the hopes that it helps your algorithm. Thanks

[@shamrockgirl6595]

A nursing home called me as the firstborn when my abusive [sexually, physically, emotionally & spiritually] father was placed there. I understand completely what youve shared Autumn. My role became harder as his health declined. I was happy too when he passed.

[@SethInNYC]

Thank you for bravely sharing your experience. ❤ I think everyone, including those with stable and healthy childhoods, can learn so much from you.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Seth. I appreciate that and I hope so. ❤️

[@kathygadler6234]

I am an MSN RN Hospice and Palliative Care Nurse. I can not count the times I have intracted wth family members who were estranged, but were put in the decision seat. And I fully understand your lack of grief or feeling of loss. You lost your father years ago. I wish you peace and a new beginning.

[@ELloyd]

You hit it on the nail. We grieved the loss of our father years ago. It was just official that he was gone. We now don’t have to worry that we will see him on the street, or he will just show up on our door step. We’re not waiting for that call. We can all be at peace and focus on our lives without worry.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you for sharing that, Kathy. And thank you for the well wishes.

[@phooongtion]

damn thank you for sharing this...Im dealing with the death of my abusive father right now.

[@euriditia]

This is going to be me someday... And I'm not sure how I will deal with it. Having abusive parents is something that no one should have to experience, yet many do.

[@rot_10_dogs]

I had a similar situation. I wasn’t happy about it but was relieved I didn’t have to deal with him ever again. And I did grieve. I grieved the life that should have been. Thank you for sharing this.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry you went through something similar.

[@Kentuckycamellia]

You are a strong woman and I have an immense amount of respect for who you are. 💚

[@lorrilewis2178]

It's all about feeling RELIEF.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Indeed.

[@Frequentqs]

Girl, you are not alone but I am glad you are speaking about this for others who will go through this.

[@dawnlovescouture2644]

You made the best decision all around. No child should have endured what you had to. Put your mind at ease, Autumn. I’m glad no one is suffering anymore.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Dawn. You know, it's strange...growing up in that I didn't realize how far from normal it was because it was normal to me. I mean, I knew it wasn't normal (now I'm not making sense!) but it's taken decades to realize how really messed up and abusive his decisions and their consequences were to us all. And to this day, I have trouble recognizing if someone is on drugs because that behavior was completely normal to me.

[@dawnlovescouture2644]

@@AutumnBeckman I understand. Working with kids from these kinds of home situations has made me see how it can be seen as normal because it’s all the kids have known.

[@vickenator]

@@AutumnBeckman It's interesting what we normalize based on what we see every day at home. I though it was normal that parents didn't hug or kiss each other, that the father would drop the landline phone on the ground after his call while he sat on the couch with the expectation that someone else would pick it up and hang it on the hook on the wall... that the father would toss the newspapers on the floor as he finished reading them, with the expectation that someone else will pick them up off the floor for us. That being praised by other adults for being so "well behaved" wasn't because we were just good kids, though we were, but was mainly borne of the fact that we knew not to piss our father off, that we were ingrained with fear about misbehaving. Normal is very funny word.

[@sharonsmith583]

I'm so sorry! You are a strong lady!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Sharon. ❤️

[@sumis8096]

I feel I want to go back in time and give Little Autumn a big hug! I admire your strength so much 💛 thank you for sharing!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Aww. Thank you.

[@Diane574]

Good for you for being honest. I left my abusive mother as soon as I could and never regretted staying away from her and keeping my kids away. In this day and age she’d go to jail for a long time. I’m relieved she’s not around anymore. I applaud you. ♥️

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. And good for you for having the strength and wisdom to do that for yourself and your children! ❤️

[@Diane574]

@@AutumnBeckman ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@charchar9085]

You're such a great story teller. My mom had a very difficult relationship with her mother who had a lot of mental health issues and attempted suicide many times before she eventually succeeded. 31yrs later and my mom still feels like her death is a relief.

[@johnle3389]

Now THIS is a conversation that needs to be had. Thanks for using your platform and your voice!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@ShopStylebyme]

I am in awe of your courage. I thank you for sharing because it will help a lot of other people open up and not feel alone💐

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@chrissyaltman984]

I can relate. Thank you.

[@ashleemoore4148]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. God bless you and your mom and sister. I can relate with you too. I understand exactly what you mean when you say you are happy. God bless all the poor people that have narcissistic parents and relatives in their lives!

[@lschultz3022]

I hope you have slept peacefully every night of the year between filming and posting this. You do not seem cold and callous, in fact your compassion for your mother, sister, self, and even him shines through. I never saw your 3 part video about your past but now I even further understand your love for beautiful things and the healthy, fanciful bit of escape that a love of luxury offers. Be happy.

[@rosieschweebie]

Autumn, thank you for sharing your story . I told my mother that I was not sure if I will be going to my father's funeral once he dies. My mom raised all 6 of us by herself. The last time I saw my father was in 2015. I have forgiven him for abandoning us, but it is not good or healthy for me to continue to have any type of relationship with him. I do wish him well, and hopes he gets the professional help he needs.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I get it. Even when you want to reach out to be sure they're okay or to share something with them, you have to stop yourself because you know it won't end well for you. It stinks that their decisions take so much from us. I hope your father gets whatever help he needs, too, and that your mother understands how you feel and supports your choices.

[@g.pp.712]

Wow.. my father was an orphan he was abandoned as a baby on the steps of the church which he was named after, he had a hard childhood but he always swore that his children would never go through what he had been through and he was the most amazing father and my role model. It’s hard for me to understand how a father like yours could be this way .. kudos to you to be the person you are today, no thanks to your dad.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry to hear that but glad he turned out so well and was able to provide you with what he didn't have. :)

[@accessorygirlnyc]

I’m so sorry for your nightmare. No one should have a parent like that. You are entitled to feel however you feel about his death. No one else has lived your life, so no one can speak for you.

[@RhondaReally]

I've been through a similar situation with my mother, without the drug abuse, and I'm with you on all of this. Life and death decisions for someone that didn't value us. But, like you, I did all the right things, I have zero regrets, and I finally feel free from the threat. Atta girl. Let us move on!

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry you had to deal with this, too. It sounds like you came out stronger on the other side. Thank you for sharing. ❤️

[@bonnieparker3858]

Your courage and eloquence in sharing your life story has brought comfort and inspiration to more people than you might ever know. Bless you and peace to you and enjoy teaching others about your passion for things of beauty.

[@JustMonica402]

Autumn, I commend your courage to share your story. From what I am reading (through the comments) I see there are a lot of us who had abusive fathers/parents. I am one of them too. My father claimed to love me while he kept me from my Mother who wanted me, hid me with several relatives, couch hopped with him, witnessed his cocaine binges, drove with him on the wrong side of the freeway, tried leaving me in Tijuana after being distraught over losing his gf, watched him physically beat and verbally abuse my mother, and on and on. So, my father may not have physically abused me, but he certainly emotionally abused me. I say all of this to say, your story impacted me and makes me feel less guilty walking away from my own father who I haven’t had a relationship with since I was 11 years old. I did this most recently and for the life of me I cannot understand why he still plays the victim. So, thank you for sharing with us. I am glad you are at peace with everything and free from the burden of an abusive being. ❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you went through that but glad you survived. It sounds incredibly difficult. It also sounds like you're 100% justified in cutting ties with him. The playing the victim routine is an attempt to manipulate you. He likely knows he's in the wrong.

[@victoriagracel.constantini9538]

Hey I understand and I also went through it. ❤❤❤ Take care of yourself

[@Laurenlilly902]

your story is similar to mine and I'm sure a lot of people. fortunately for me, he died thousands of miles away in another country and not a burden to me or any of my siblings. your feelings are valid!

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm glad you didn't have that burden. I hope you're doing well.

[@BarbC1]

Autumn: I watched the videos about your father when I first discovered your channel. I remember the video that you disclosed his death. I think the fact that you didn't hang up on the hospital and block the number shows great compassion. The best relationships are complicated but abusive situations by a person who is supposed to love you unconditionally is incomprehensible to me. You are so strong to have risen above such a difficult childhood to become the wonderful person you are today. I'm happy that you, your mom and your sister seem to have built successful, happy lives. It was brave of you to share the whole story from beginning to end. I have no doubt it will help many people. Warm Regards and Deep Respect.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. I do hope there are people who find it helpful. I did try to avoid the situation but ultimately I suppose I'm glad I agreed to make decisions. Thank you for your kind words. ❤️

[@malaikamillions]

WOW and Thank You for sharing. I’m currently in a circumstance somewhat similar. It’s so difficult to simply give myself permission to Not give into pressure to go attend his death. He’s not cogent, so what’s the point. The trigger damage simply outweighs any chances of catharsis. It took me a week of roiling in guilt and grief before I could plainly state such fact (two days ago). So I am now just awaiting updates, in angst ridden anticipation of whatever emotional weather may roll in with the news of his passing. - I’ve had years to accept the disfunction, and let go, and “let bless”. It’s letting go of hope to restore some idealization that can be the greatest grief. I know that I’ll step on that rake of lack of resolution from time to time, but I also feel confident that I made every effort to act with dignity. - I feel so normal human by experiencing this video testimony. It’s the greatest gift. 🎁 ❤

[@bbhdd6181]

You are freaking awesome honestly. I'm currently caring for my wonderful mum who has cancer, but my dad is doing absolutely nothing (and they are divorcing due to his abuse escalating when she was diagnosed and he is doing everything in his power to strip her of all her finances (which he explicitly told me)). It feels sadistic of me that when he gets ill, I am glad I won't be there for him in the same way after the lifetime of abuse he put the two of us through. It's difficult to admit but, it is what it is. I appreciate you so much for uploading this because it is such a taboo subject and I've never really discussed it with anyone before.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I helped care for my grandparents toward the end of their lives. Care giving is tough. I hope you're doing okay and have outlets to take breaks from it.

[@bsk6707]

Thank you Autumn. What an incredible story. Worthy of a novel in my opinion. I too had to deal with the same issues with my Mom at the end of her life. The only difference was I loved her and she was a special woman. However, the horrendous responsibility of those end of life decisions were sole twisting. I so respect your integrity and compassion. Thank you for sharing with us.

[@AutumnBeckman]

It really is! I wasn't expecting that. At least now I feel more prepared if I find myself having to make those decisions for my mom or Paul. I'm sorry for your loss and that you also had to go through some of those difficult decisions. ❤️

[@bsk6707]

I meant Soul twisting! 🩷

[@JessieLee_]

I understand your feelings completely. I grew up with a stepdad who was an abusive alcoholic and used other substances. We lost him in 2019, just a year after I lost my brother on November 22nd, 2017, the day before Thanksgiving. That same year, I also lost two dogs that my family and I loved very much. At the beginning of 2018, my husband had his first heart attack and spent most of the year in and out of the hospital. So, when my stepdad passed away, he was home alone that day. He had been standing on the back porch when he died and hit his head on the porch railing. He donated his body to science, so we had to wait four hours for the University to pick him up. He passed away in April, and I had an emergency gallbladder surgery in October. As I was healing from that surgery, I went through the worst depression of my life. I was trying to be strong for everyone else, but everything hit me all at once. All of my chronic pain and chronic illnesses flared up. I have ME/CFS, which can make you feel like you have the worst flu of your life with pain throughout your entire body. I was also extremely exhausted, so I didn’t get out of bed for three months, except for a few hours to eat and spend time with my husband and young adult children. Then, the pandemic hit as I was just starting to get out of this depression and flare-up. It took some time for me to adjust to what was going on. It was a really hard time in my life, and I can understand why you felt the way you did. My grief was more about my brother, my two wonderful dogs, and my husband going through some really scary medical stuff. I was sad about the loss of my stepdad, but it was for my siblings. He was their biological father, and he was a hard worker. We had some good times, and even though we were very poor, he made sure we always had food and necessities. Thank you for sharing your story. You did what was best for you, and sweetheart, you didn't kill your father. He did that to himself! ❤ I know that this video is 7 months old, and it’s been over a year and a half since you lost your father, but as a new subscriber, I wanted to hear your story and share mine with you. I hope making this video therapeutically helped you and others.

[@barbborja1910]

I don’t think that you can truly understand the emotional roller coaster that you are going through unless you have grown up with an abusive and addicted parent. While I’m relatively sure my mother has died by now (I haven’t heard from her since shortly after my grandmother-her mom- passed away 25 years ago), I can’t imagine the shock and stress that you went through during this time. Just thinking about this happening, it’s making me incredibly anxious. I’m glad that you are able to finally sleep peacefully knowing he would never traumatize you again.

[@ponayotadoufexis-lammon7712]

Very brave Autumn to share this story. I remember when he died and I think you were wise to give this some time. I think this video will help many people. XOXO

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Yota. I hope it does. ❤️

[@deborahconkle6822]

My story isn’t all the same as yours. That said I am so appreciative that you have shared it. My childhood was turbulent,although I don’t think quite the same as yours. I am going to say I am sorry you went through all that came your way. I can say that because I appreciate when those I love acknowledge me. I remember when my dad passed I happened to be at the hospital and it was both a peaceful time and a confusing moment. I won’t go into the details.(my writing is rambled). The thing I remember the most is wanting to see and hold my Dad’s hand. I remember saying to him,I love you Dad and wish things were different. The thing is,they weren’t. I pray peace to all who had or are having a hard time in childhood and carrying the baggage that can be really heavy. I do want to say that the next Father’s Day was surprisingly easy. And not because I didn’t love my dad,but because I didn’t have to say things I didn’t feel in all the greeting cards. Sad,but freeing. Thank you for making this video. ❤

[@donnamosley7658]

Autumn, I truly understand what you went through and how you feel. I was thrown into paying for a funeral and handling all the business of a family member I was estranged from for over 10 years.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[@sheritee7328]

I'm sorry for what you and your family had to go thru Autumn. Hopefully he is also in a better place now. May God be with you and yours and may he finally rest in peace!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you.

[@lesliecraven3087]

This helped me. I was in an abusive marriage for 18 years. I have always struggled with these feelings about my son’s father. My feelings are validated. Thank you

[@AutumnBeckman]

Your feelings are definitely valid. I'm sorry you went through that.

[@nexx1]

Congratulations for surviving that time in your life. ❤not all of us do. You absolutely did not kill your father. He was homeless and chose drugs he walk in that direction himself against the tide.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@aprilshouseofflair]

Firstly, thank you for sharing your experience with us. Second, I am grateful that your family is now free. Lastly, I have a shockingly similar story and lived experience to yours and as the eldest child I live with the tiny thought that this type of burden will someday land at my feet. I endeavor to handle it with the same grace and compassion as you have.

[@jenny881283]

Thank you for sharing this. You are definitely a better daughter than I would of been to a father like that. Who knows whats his demons were but I hope he is resting in peace. I'm so happy that you, your sister and mom can finally have some peace. I wish you all peace, happiness, health and long lives. ❤

[@ruthmclean5116]

My God Autumn! Your life reads like a made for tv movie only it’s real people that are involved, not actors. I have such respect for the way you handled this entire ordeal. Where you were able to find your strength is unimaginable but somehow you managed to find it. Two quotes come to mind: “Don’t worry about people God removed from your life. He heard conversations you didn’t. He saw things you couldn’t. He made moves you wouldn’t”. And… “I would rather adjust my life to your absence, then adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect “. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@AutumnBeckman]

Fantastic quotes. Thank you. 🥰

[@kathleenklein4231]

Totally understand, you are human in being relieved.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Kathleen. ❤️

[@Jp22524]

I am so sorry you went through a terrible childhood! No child should ever have to go through those abusive experiences. You are strong, and must be blessed by God to have the support of your mom and sister. God bless you always ❤❤❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@kathiegoldsmith1457]

Well Autumn, that is that. Glad you are all able to move on.

[@AutumnBeckman]

That is that, indeed. Thank you. ❤️

[@DaylesAddiction]

I think this is a great video Autumn, what a tough period to go through with such strength and stoicism!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Dayle. It was also right at the end of the most stressful school year of my life. I'm doing a video next week where I discuss some of that. Last year was piles and piles of difficult things and this was an especially tough (and unexpected) one to end that period.

[@user-ft3pj1nr6c]

I hope this is okay to say. I also had a rough childhood with poverty and hurtful adults. I often feel like I am imposing on communities when I enter a space like the luxury space. People like me don’t go here. I really appreciate you sharing your stories and making the luxury space feel like a space that anyone can join

[@wens525]

Dear Autumn, thank you so much for sharing this story. You are an amazing woman, you are inspirational and courageous. Ps I love all your videos. ❤

[@fulviavizzutti9863]

I think that all you have done was absolutely right and very brave; he missed many occasions to be saved, in spite of the harm he did to his family, and there is not anything else to say. Good life 🌈😍🛍️

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you.

[@VividlyValerie]

Autumn, I hope that you, your mom and sister will have a sense of peace. You handled a very, very difficult situation with grace and selflessness. Blessings to you all.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Valerie. I appreciate it. ❤️

[@danielintheantipodes6741]

I had my own struggles in life but nothing that even remotely approaches such a situation. I feel for you. Glad you are able to know that none of this will ever happen again. Thank you for the video.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Daniel. There is a lot of relief in knowing we'll never have to deal with his antics again, though I do still get phone calls about him sometimes (like creditors looking for him) which is a little jarring.

[@OSheaPunk]

Not an easy thing to talk about; but thank you. You are helping people, for sure :)

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@rhondamarcelissen2919]

I’m so sorry you went through all of this. I’m sure it was difficult. Sending you big hugs

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you.

[@shelleystevens3731]

You are an intelligent and well-spoken woman who has exhibited courage throughout your life. You’re going to be okay 👍

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@luvlyleo2836]

I pray you and your family are able to finally have peace ❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@Satine_Moisant]

O M G...so many thoughts... all I can think of right now is a quote from Liberace when Scott Thorson told him his mother died...He said, "I'm finally free." You, your sister and mother are truly free of this demon.

[@stjohnbaby]

You are very brave,you deserve the absolute best life.

[@DeeDee_Bean]

Autumn, I’m so proud of the bravery you have shown and the selfless acts you chose to do for him. I hope in time the inner child in you can find some relief and guilt free peace of all the decisions you had to make that no child should have to make after enduring such a difficult childhood. Thank you for for brave and being true to you. Blessing Dee Dee

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, DeeDee. :)

[@nickjsne]

Your strength and resolve are incredible Autumn ! Thank you for sharing and for being so open with us ❤️

[@pinkmagnolia921]

It sounds like you've found inner peace, which is all that matters ❤

[@valerie1957]

So well done ❤ I don’t understand how you can be made to be the decision maker if there was no power of attorney or health care proxy in place, as I’m assuming there was neither of these. It seems he had become a burden for the state to assume. I’m sorry you had to deal with this and glad that you are now free of his earthly presence. Peace be with you ❤

[@DaniOchannel]

Thank you for sharing such personal details. It must be so relieving for yourself and your family, Autumn. Take care.❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Indeed. Thank you.

[@angelaphillips4183]

I had a very good relationship with my father and I was put in this position and it was the hardest thing I ever ever had to do. I fully expected him to have a heart attack or stroke based on his medical history. I never expected for him to get cancer. Be put on home hospice and have to literally give him morphine. It’s so hard. Even now there’s things that my sisters and I are dealing with it we never expected. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@Giannas1096]

You did the right thing. You are successful in your adult life despite his abuse. I hope your video helps others who have been abused.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@AliciaDeLaTorrefilmteacher]

Thank you for sharing. Many of us have similar stories and complicated emotions.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry that do many people do but knowing that is why I made this video. Thank you. ❤️

[@Katie-hb8xl]

Thank you for sharing this. My dad is a true narcissist- I feel like people throw that word around- emotionally abusive, manipulative, mental traps and confusing loops that always remove the blame from himself, and actually worse things I won’t share here. I was also the last of the family to cut him off. So thank you for sharing, this is something I’ve never thought about, and helps me to be more prepared should this day come, because I will very likely be the one contacted.

[@blktauna]

I'm so happy for you and your freedom. Congratulations!

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. I appreciate it. ❤️

[@vickyl1010]

You are so mature. I'm proud of your growth. No judgement. Thank you for talking about this.💕

[@carolynwilson7806]

Thank you for sharing your story because I believe it will help a lot of people, either directly or indirectly. You are incredibly strong and intelligent and deserve peace.

[@arlettevanhoesel1181]

Proud of you!Lots of love from Holland ❤❤❤❤❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@marilynrich]

I’m glad you are well. Hugs ❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. ❤️

[@Elle-pq3qi]

Autumn, i really admire your strength and wisdom in this very difficult situation. Thanks for sharing.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@bigbubba29]

You may not be a salaried teacher anymore, but you will always be a teacher. That will never leave you.

[@teresamcg431]

I am so sorry for the hardships this man has caused your family. It sounds like you are at peace. My father was never much in my life after leaving when I was 2. I thought about trying to reconnect as an adult, but I had kids & did not want my kids to ever be hurt by this man. A few years ago, I received many emails/texts from my hometown asking me if I was aware he was convicted of child porn & molesting a young boy in the family. He died in prison. I never tried to contact him or go to his funeral. I know I made the right choice for me.

[@lindawright1028]

Dear Autumn, it’s amazing to me, listening to your story, how a man like your father could’ve ever produced a wonderful human being like you. The polar opposite of his existence is everything you are. I know you only from watching countless videos, but I can tell by the look in your face, that you have a level of compassion regardless of his abuse. Thank you for sharing, 🩷

[@_LikePersephone]

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you nothing but happiness and healing.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@thurayyakey9504]

Wow🥺I completely understand. I, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for sharing your story. I never watched your channel before and this popped up on my feed. I always secretly felt like a monster for feeling relief that I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.❤

[@ms_cartographer]

I really admire your strength and your resilience. You are thriving, and I am so thrilled! ❤

[@Flowcasso]

You are a strong, resilient, compassionate woman. You made it out of that incredibly difficult time in your life, and instead of closing the final chapter and moving on, you’ve decided to open up your life story; To help others who may be going through similar challenges. I can tell this was difficult for you, but it truly shows your heart. My hope for you is that you are truly able to move on and to live your absolute best life. You deserve all the wonderful things in store for you. ❤

[@MsGlamazon]

Autumn you are a very brave young lady ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@breezyvibe]

Great video!! I had no idea about your family. You more than overcame it.

[@vietnamvetswifekeiko2053]

My heart goes out to you, I wish you a lifetime of peace and happiness.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@carlosperaltamx]

damn.... Im going through a very similar situation and I understand you. thank you for sharing

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry you're going through something like this, too.

[@LifeAccordingtoMaria]

Autumn, you are such a strong person. What a story. To have you "climb out" of this type of situation into the sunshine and have a positive life is a testament to your strength. There are so many children of abusive and drug addict parents that end up the same way, on drugs and homeless and of course blame their parents for their own demise. To see that you went the opposite way and gave your Father the "finger" and said hell no, I am not going to be dragged down by you is again a testament to your will power. You did everything right and made the decisions that the social worker said you could live with and sleep at night about. What a nightmare to have to deal with someone as poisonous as your Father. Bless you and your family.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[@thegoodnightgracie]

I’m sorry for your loss Autumn. I appreciate your honesty and completely understand it. If your experience of a person was mainly as abusive, it’s hard to know how to feel, and there’s a lot of relief. I think it’s important to be honest about the relationship and not re-write history just because the person has passed on. I think it’s normal to be-relieved. Just be aware so much anger can well up, now that it’s safe to feel that anger.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Agreed. Thank you.

[@SuzWhat]

You are very brave and strong. Peace and Love...Suz What ☮️💛

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you, Suz. ❤️

[@onlyme9978]

Life is a never ending “University” and their are times we fail in the most horrific ways. The beauty of life is that we can learn how to love and forgive in order to be at peace and conveying a challenging and yet beautiful lesson to be learned. You are such an amazing teacher 💖

[@AutumnBeckman]

That's a great perspective about life being a university. Thank you. :)

[@QuietlyPeaceful]

I hardly post on your videos though I'm a handbag lover like yourself. But you've given me a lot of value in this one that I hope I'd remember for if/when i might have to deal with such. It's remarkable how calm and composed you remain, though you filmed this only a few days after his death. God bless you and your family, Autumn. Lots of love from India. ❤🙏🏻✨

[@AutumnBeckman]

Thank you. :)

[@janmauro282]

Hi Autumn. I totally understand, we all have difficult times occur throughout our lifetime. I believe you did everything the best you could, because that is who you are. Thank you for trying to help others who may also dealing with difficult decisions. Jan.

[@AutumnBeckman]

Everyone definitely has their own struggles. Mine are worse than some but much less than many others. The cards life deals us can be really unfair but everyone has choices on what to do afterward.

[@hrh_nurseady]

Thank you for sharing this, Autumn. We have a very very similar situation. This is what I needed to hear, that I am not alone.

[@AutumnBeckman]

I'm sorry you're going through something like this, too.