"We haven't had sex in a while" | Astarion Romance | Baldur's Gate 3

[@Awomanontheinternet]

We NEED a hug option for all Astarion interactions please

[@MaysLee]

Yes 😭

[@darkdemon943]

And a will u marry me? :')

[@Тихиро-ч8ъ]

I often think that hugs are simply necessary in our communication. I also wish there were more exclamation marks above his head. That is, some kind of initiative on his part - a desire to talk, kiss, hug - something that will give stronger feedback. Because now there is a feeling that our conversations irritate him, but he agrees to endure them. Although, perhaps, this behavior is psychologically most true for this character.

[@darkdemon943]

@@Тихиро-ч8ъ true and we need more couple option

[@thearcanamodernau8130]

Every time I see players who are romancing Astarion choosing to bang other characters I find it painful to watch, even if Astarion allows it. There's an aura of misery about the whole situation

[@t-girl9643]

Same. I think mostly cause Astarion isn’t good at hiding his feelings while you are in a realationship with him. You can easily see his insecurities even tho he say he's fine

[@Awomanontheinternet]

I know! It hurt to choose that dialogue option even just for the sake of recording other options, I wanted to go back and apologize!

[@katiatall]

Same. Especially orgy with Halsin, and here Mizora and incubus- perfect adventure collection (sarcasm). His “I am just watching the show” killed me. But Larian added this on purpose, some like it, plus the visibility of polyamory (though it is not good idea for traumatized people to do this), others have fun, others will notice the hint that Astarion is not ok (which completes the picture of the character), the rest will miss or skip it - everyone is happy in the end 😅

[@AnastasiaAisling]

​@@katiatallI personally felt confused: I do something that has to have bad consequences yet there are none; but if I refuse to do it I don't get any approval (or any extra dialogue at all) and miss out on two pretty hot scenes. I wish you could at least tell Astarion about it and reassure him that he's much more valuable than any other spicy incoming offer. But oh well.

[@katiatall]

@@AnastasiaAisling yes, I also find it’s strange, that we have no line here to say that is not ok, all options that we agree

[@dinosaur8682]

It makes me so sad to see how he reacts to you wanting affection from others. He so desperately wants to be with you, and for him- Tav is all he has. But he's so behind on what a real relationship is, and how to properly feel, that he agrees to let you do things out of fear of losing you. It hurts him, you can see and hear it in his gestures and voice. He looks for reassurance. "Yeah... you can do this, sure... but it's not because we haven't, right?" He needs that validation that you're still his, entirely. That he wont lose you. Honestly, I dislike the idea of people romancing him and Halsin because he's "okay with it." I really don't think he is. I think he just agrees because he's so afraid of losing you, that he's willing to let you be someone else's as well, so long as you still come to him. Even Cazador mentions all he knows is him and Tav. I just feel bad for him, constantly feeling devalued and scared to lose that one shred of light he knows as love.

[@ingjot6957]

regarding Halsin situation, I love how Shadowheart sees right through him when you're forced to choose between her and Astarion: if you suggest that we all can share Astarion's fine with that she's like nope can't you see that's a facade

[@Li_Tobler]

​@ingjot6957 we love a perceptive queen

[@elnar71]

I'm very disappointed with the Astarion-Tav-Halsin because I thought it's an actual three-way relationship where there can be some good interaction between the three, not "Tav can fuck companion x and the bear druid but companion x and the bear druid don't even interact with each other", especially with Astarion that feels like Tav is taking advantage of him even with the "reassurance".

[@ladyalicent705]

I completely agree with this. If you still can’t see it, all you have to do is imagine he’s a woman. Immediately 95% of people would agree it’s a tragic love story…

[@Itsrainingsimmies]

Honestly they should have at least given more options for who can be poly, considering the only options of who "agrees" to share you with Halsin are Astarion and Shadowheart and yet you can't romance just Halsin alone (to my knowledge)

[@Louves192]

This is one of the reasons Astarion is so popular with us asexual folks. Either you agree your partner can bang other people or they might leave you. The hurt in his eyes is just so relatable.

[@Awomanontheinternet]

There's a lot that is relatable about Astarion's character. His struggle with sexuality and body autonomy, being used, abused, raped and objectified makes him a character relatable to ace folks and victims of AS.

[@Louves192]

@@Awomanontheinternet As someone who fits into both categories, I completely agree.

[@carpediem5882]

Sure, and YET *you* have to have CASUAL s*x with him to get the actual relationship...alright then...very ace. 😂 Possibly popular with aromantics but def not a true ace option.

[@FlameRaven]

this is why romancing astarion as an ace myself feels so rewarding. neither of us has to go through uncomfortable stuff. i tried romancing others, but in the end they always push their sexual agendas. i just want to cuddle and hold hands damn it

[@ZaynahZihoa]

I don't think asexual people use sex as an opener to a relationship tho, like Astarion does. It's kind of a bait and switch if you're using sex to get what you want from someone, and then stop giving it once you've "reeled them in" so to speak. Asexual people and people for whom sex is casual/important (like for someone having sex with Astarion after only knowing him for a short time) are going to have compatibility issues.

[@kiterafrey]

He does a similar thing if you want to have sex with Halsin. Despite being an elf (who are socially typically poly in DND because super long lives) and trying to act all cool, he really isn't into poly. He gets that sex is important to some people, but it really bothers him, like he feels insecure that he might not be enough for you. It breaks my heart. I was the same way when I had an ex who wanted it open and I didn't feel secure at that young age to speak up for myself.

[@asahibunni7426]

Halsin is a wood elf they’re the poly ones. High elves are monogamous which makes sense for Astarion feeling uncomfortable with this. They also believe there is only 1 soulmate for them and will rarely remarry after the death of a spouse/lover

[@kiterafrey]

Awe, that's romantic. Makes sense too, since wood elves are very natural driven.@@asahibunni7426 -- I love that, the idea that Astarion is my soulmate. 🥰 Cuz, my durge/tav was already sure he was.

[@Chookity-Pok]

@@asahibunni7426 Stoooop I'm already seeing drawings of Astarion above Tav's grave + the line "In a thousand years when I've all but forgotten how to love yet again, you'll flit back into my heart and I'll weep wondering what happened to my mad love." and now you're telling me they mate for life? Imma go die in a corner real quick

[@mateleacloverae]

This is a headcanon. Yes, Astarion asks if you are doing it specifically because of the lack of physicality between you, but that's all. As far as the game lets us know, Astarion isn't one for sharing the romantic side, but he is okay with the sexual one. Ofc he is still exploring his feelings and preferences, so he could eventually decide that this isn't okay with him after all. For now, I don't think we have reason to believe that he isn't fine with it. I personally agree with the idea that it is infantilizing to claim he is for silently suffering from Tav's sexual encounters or that he is forcing himself to sleep with Tav in the graveyard because he is scared of losing them. He has a painful past and is healing, but he is not fragile. He is a 200+ year old adult man, and I seriously doubt he'd passively keep his worries from the one person he truly trusts. Trust starts with honesty, after all.

[@capismycopilot9393]

@@mateleacloveraeif you sleep with the drow twins after solidifying his romance vs before, he’s much more open and assertive about what he does and doesn’t want and what makes him uncomfortable. yet he has the same reaction to Halsin either way. That’s pretty strong evidence that it doesn’t really bother him. He admits his insecurities about not sleeping with tav for a while but that’s his only issue.

[@thecheck968]

It's actually possible to have Halsin ask about an open relationship after Astarion kills Cazador, and if that happens, Astarion is genuinely okay with the idea and feels secure in their relationship. Which makes this all the more painful because you can very obviously tell it's an act.

[@alaiswinchester7388]

Yeah i still dont know if he is OK with it or not couse he dose not get mad just tells me to go have fun with halsin and i just felt hurt..........

[@cassiebarber4669]

Even though he's not comfortable with sex That doesn't change my mind on romancing him I'm still going to pick him because i hate seeing him alone he has nobody he just suffers in silence i like being there for him showing him that at least one person cares and loves him for who he is and will help him during his healing others may have treated him like garbage but me and my tav will treat him as a person ❤

[@Li_Tobler]

You can also be his friend, I think he was very positive and kinda relieved? in a dialogue where he opens up about laying off the sexy stuff; you can say "Perhaps what you really need is a friend?" and he accepts that rather eagerly. Such a great character!

[@InLoveWithGreySky]

I just genuinly love him and going for him out of selfish reasons, I want him by my side, but all you said is right as well

[@hallieblakeslee946]

Oh my god he brings it up multiple times 🥺

[@STAAAAAAAAAAAARRRS]

Me: *Starts a healthy relationship* Also me: “Oooh Astarion romance!” (Sorry bub 😇)

[@Mezzy..]

why was that so cute and sad like a sad puppy

[@spicysalad3013]

he looks so sad I can't 😭

[@cuteandfluffypikachu3405]

This I why I let him bite me every night at least he has some interaction the poor guy he just needs to be loved I just genuinely love this guy 😭❤️😊😊

[@dragon9261]

Its I don't have words, I just know that I've been in his place and I'd like to give him a hug and anyone else who has felt like that too

[@VelocityPoint]

"Enjoy yourself of coopoooourse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😊"

[@kyokonightstorm5844]

I play almost exclusively as a Drow, so I am super curious how different the interactions with these twins will be when I get there myself. Larion is super good about things like your race and even sub-race (especially interesting for the Drow) impacting your gameplay. So if there is not at least an acknowledgement that I am a Drow, I will be vastly disappointed.

[@TheRoseWolf]

Can confirm that there are a couple unique lines of dialogue for these two if you're playing a drow as well

[@morganirbs2523]

There’s definitely one part where you can cheese a quest line bc of being a drow bc certain characters mistake you as a different character

[@vyvisabastard]

if you are a drow character you have a couple interactions with them. when they say “work is easy for us on the surface cause people desire drow like a drug” and you can respond with “i mean yeah, look at us. were beautiful” your character will also recall what the menzoberranzan love trick is and comment to sorn “but arent you seldarine? are you scamming your clients?”and he will just go “you can find out if you pay me” im unsure if there are any lolth sworn specific interactions, i was playing a seldarine drow

[@Тихиро-ч8ъ]

I so love him in light side and I still not understand why «good ending” version relationships so cruel in the docks. I cried all that day, and still feel myself awful. Since two weeks passed.

[@alyssahelferty6420]

Part 3 spoilers! I just got to graveyard scene after killing Cazador and even when he offered to sleep with Tav I still couldn’t do it. He just got his freedom, yes but that doesn’t mean his trauma isn’t still there. He just saw his abuser in the flesh and killed him! When I told him we could just sit here he smiled and said something along the lines of “I actually would really appreciate that.” So him and tav sat in silenced. Best part is, it felt like the right choice because him and tav are still a couple after the scene without the sex. Ugh, the writing in this game is just so amazing. Every character feels like a real person and makes me feel all sorts of emotions! ❤

[@Awomanontheinternet]

I've never selected the sexual options with my Tav as I knew Astarion has a couple of dialogue options where he expresses appreciation as holding back on sex, but I've always gotten forwardness from him from all my options

[@mimi8808]

I personally felt he sounded disappointed. He was ready to claim his body back and his sexuality back after it was forced away from him.

[@calidaodiom4761]

​@@mimi8808I'm hoping the devs will clarify, I'm on the fence about how he really feels about it, myself. He has a tendency to put on a mask to please tav on several occasions so it's hard to know when he genuinely desires that sort of interaction or if he offers out of a feeling of obligation. I guess most people view it as "better safe than sorry" and decline just in case he is pushing himself for tavs sake.

[@exosproudmamabear558]

​@@mimi8808 They have a lot of time you can always try again when things are calmer which would be very much apreciated.

[@SarahLiz30]

Ain't no way! I decided from day one that I would be romancing Astarion, and I am sticking true! Seeing him just lay down and take it just makes me hurt for him.

[@KaleighSSG]

Noooo why would you make him witness that?? Just leave him at camp 😭

[@AnomalousNormie]

Is it possible to romance him and remain a virgin throughout the whole game? I want to be that handsome virgin he wakes up beside every morning

[@Awomanontheinternet]

Unfortunately, unless you play as Karlach, I don't think so as the romance is initiated after the two of you have sex. But you can choose to remain sex free after that.

[@kiterafrey]

@@Awomanontheinternet It's true. My first playthrough was multiplayer with my husband. Due to the PS5 thinking I pressed X it picked the no option for sex and we hadn't saved in 2 hours so we couldn't go back. I still was able to get his story, albeit in a less fun way, but no matter what I did I was locked out of the romance option, we could only be friends at home no matter the approval rating. But, I guess, on the plus side that let me bang all the other one night stand characters, including a squid so I could at least see them before becoming monogamous to my vampy boyfriend.

[@adnaP_esreveR]

No. This is because you have to sleep with him a few times until he actually falls in love. You have to go through the "using sex transactionally" phase to trigger the romance, sadly. He attempts to sleep with you to get you to like him, but he ends up falling for you. At which point he will open up about his trauma and from then on he says "Sorry, I'm not in the mood" until you kill Cazador. At which point it will become an option again but not mandatory to stay in the romance route.

[@lavishlyvice]

@@adnaP_esreveR Might be a bit of a nitpick here, but "a few times" is not necessary. Once is enough, even if you reject his second proposal you can still romance him

[@adnaP_esreveR]

@lavishlyvice Oops I didn't know that. Nevermind then.

[@imnotdepressedimagenius3794]

I've seen some people justifying the polyamorous relationship with Halsin, saying that in some dev notes or smth Astarion was supposed to be okay with Tav/Durge having Halsin as a partner too. But dude, if this was to be true, then why do all the other companions, even those who are okay with "sharing" you, TELL YOU DIRECTLY, that Astarion's heart is not one you can play with, and even though they may be okay with an arrangement, Astarion will probably just fake it and accept out of desperation. It doesn't Make Sense MAKE IT MAKE SENSE I don't care what anyone says, dude's clearly not okay with it. People can play as they want, but come on, at least be real about it. He's not happy seeing Tav/Durge run to other people's arms, he's looking for reassurance, he's scared.

[@Awomanontheinternet]

He clearly struggles with learning about body autonomy, consent etc and is barely comfortable with having a sexual relationship, it's so clear he wouldn't be ok with an open relationship at that point in the game

[@imnotdepressedimagenius3794]

@@Awomanontheinternet LITERALLY! And some people just don't get it, I won't berate anyone for playing how they want, but you can't say things that are objectively wrong posing it as if it was true. Karlach's okay with sharing you, but tells you that Astarion may not like it? Shadowheart's okay with sharing you, but again, she also tells you that Astarion's heart is not one you should play with? That it's probably a facade? Like, what other signs do people need? It can't get more explicit than that, I swear. I know that the whole point is to make Astarion a good liar, but damn, that's just straight up being completely blind.

[@Ambervas]

I refuse tocdo anything with anyone while imcwith a character. I just think its so rude.

[@Awomanontheinternet]

Same!

[@ezetram774]

Never understood open relationships 😂

[@ThePeppermintCult-ci5ic]

Oh my god I LOVE THIS MAN

[@animefreak1149]

My heart 😭💔

[@TopGarfieldEnthusiast]

Fun fact if you do this after doing everything with cazador he's actually pretty excited about it and would like to join in their offer to include you both, something about his newfound freedom

[@5Demona5]

But then you look into his eyes and he seems a million miles away

[@nellie4621]

​​@@5Demona5yes and he obviously falls right back into old habits of "performing" and the drows say they should pay him. Aside from Tav noticing he does seem quite disconnected from the situation. He read to me like a demisexual, he doesn't like it with someone he doesn't actually have feelings for and feel close to.

[@sigmacorps]

F to astorian (don’t let astorian see this bro)

[@RottenHeretic]

This truly is a Woman moment of all time

[@ayazizo8861]

is there any sex scenes in bg3?or they hide the view while they do it?

[@exosproudmamabear558]

Almost all are explicit but I guess this was a bit more technical so they left it out.

[@celestebigaignon6054]

This is the same question he asks when you ask if you can also be with Halsin. Dear lord it broke me, immediately ran to reject Halsin. You can of course assure him that what you two share is amazing and more important but I felt icky. I tried it once and then I got a different reaction after you defeated Cazador, he was a bit firmer in 'I thought what we had was special and I'm not sure about this'. Had a glitch, and somehow ended up with Halsin even though we did nothing, and then my last save was 2 hours ago, before the temple of Bhaal. Just went hell no and deleted the whole campaign.

[@luluchii9628]

Where can I you find that girls

[@Elfprincess_]

My Tav hates drows so i think we won’t be doing this and shes also romancing Astarion so i guess this is good

[@TheMerryWolf]

I probably say the only person Astarion is truly comfortable with being poly is Halsin. Halsin being Halsin in his general attitude towards sex and relationships, and everyone and their momma thirsts after Papa Bear lol

[@mateleacloverae]

"enjoying the gifts on nature" :D

[@Awomanontheinternet]

It's pretty canon that Astarion isn't comfortable with being poly at all

[@megakaren2160]

F8!

[@anifan1311]

Oop- 😂

[@millybrown5664]

This entire game is extremely cringe. It is just a massive sex o*** fanfic....

[@earthing3696]

It's literally not

[@ellioteden5602]

Tell me you haven't played the game without telling me you haven't played the game.

[@raquelalejandrapatinoojeda8334]

Says on the comment section of a clip about a character who is revealed to not be comfortable with sex due to him being a SA survivor... Obvious troll is obvious.

[@yl6467]

what tf is a sex o*** fanfic

[@Biggiecheese20]

​@@yl6467he's too scared to say offender, like he's afraid to actually play the game 😐