Bad At Being Gay | Chosen Family Podcast

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

Omg I'm so sorry about my audio I'M FIXING IT I PROMISE SO SORRY

[@bettyb9677]

no worries your amazing Love you guys!!!

[@hannarchy6554]

You give us cat purring ASMR and there are problems with the audio??

[@swiftie4856]

Off topic but you saying “so stupid” is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

[@sadiesavanna8369]

Dw Alayna u sound beautiful

[@Captain04801]

For the person nervous about shopping in gender specific stores/departments - it’s likely no one is paying attention to you or thinking you are in the wrong department. You could be shopping for a gift for someone else - no one knows who you are shopping for - could be a sibling, friend, cousin. Most times everyone is wrapped up in their own minds/anxieties.. sure the retail staff letting you into the fitting room might notice but they are just trying to get through their work day. You are being the hardest judge on yourself - go easy. I hope this helps

[@SpaceyD]

For real! I'm a mom of 4 sons and and an androgynous presenting person. When I'm shopping in the men's section, it doesn't phase me who I'm shopping for (me or my kids)

[@chelister27]

Alayna has been so silly goofy lately and I love it. Also big ups to Mak speaking her mind more

[@bagelthegarbagehuman]

being early to this is like walking around your school when the power's out

[@laurararararara]

hahaha, that's so funny

[@phe.mp3]

God, that’s too accurate

[@theembersinside1420]

Love that analogy! Flashes me back to those strenuous, but sweeeeet high school years. 🥴

[@sasham6486]

so true

[@Rising_Pho3nix_23]

Alayna for her paper topic: My ex cheated on me 6mo into our 7 year relationship. I found out after a few days but stayed with her out of a mix of feeling obligated and because I thought she could change. Before the affair, our sex was about 2-3 times a week. After the affair, it was maybe once every other month at most. It was never pleasurable and I often made excuses not to do anything with her. I never trusted her again. Sometimes I would check her phone. She cheated on me several times until I finally left her. I even negotiated with her and offered an open relationship. I said "as long as you tell me who and why BEFORE you do anything", but even that simple request was apparently too hard. I would find conversations on her phone, her saying things like "As long as they don't find out" etc. I can't say whether the "once a cheater always a cheater" thing is true because I've only been cheated on by 1 person, but I do believe cheating comes from a certain mindset of entitlement and poor emotional development and poor adaptation/communication skills. When I found out about the first affair I was so angry I started to pack up my stuff and leave, but she convinced me to stay using crocodile tears. At one point I did a revenge cheat to "teach her how it felt". It was with her best friend, just to drive the point home. But even that wasn't enough to get her to change. I had a sign made for her bed to hang on the wall that said "Your actions are an expression of your desires". When she saw it, I told her that her cheating is her expressing she doesn't want to be with me, so the next time she cheats, she will never see me again. That wasn't enough either and that's when I started looking for another place. The relationship was toxic and very emotionally distant from the very first cheat. We argued all the time, about everything. My belief is that if someone cheats on you, they are emotionally immature, don't care about your feelings, have bad communication skills, don't have enough self respect to leave you and put their sex drive over your relationship. So the best thing to do is just leave. No fighting, no negotiating. Just leave. They come home and your stuff is gone. Unless there are kids, then either family therapy or start a custody thing with the courts. That's my view on the topic now. After being cheated on 8 times during a 7 year relationship....with a fiance. I hope this helps you with your paper.

[@Sandra-ct1rd]

You deserve someone thats wonts you to be happy so good you leved. Children also desive to grow up seing adolts around them being nice and not hurting eccoder. I believe it is harder in USA beccose coparenting dont seem to be the norm ther like here in Sweden but sometimes thats much better than a bad marrige.

[@kaiya33123]

I'm so glad you're all here! Thank you for making me laugh and make my heart smile each week❤🥰🥰🥰

[@mizzmatrix]

As a super-duper masc lesbian; when it comes to dressing more masculine, start with underwear and work your way outward. Stop wearing things people expect you to wear, and start wearing what you want and makes you feel comfortable. Same thing with the haircut. If you want it long, have it long. If you want it shorter, cut it shorter. You should not care about what other people think about you, that's none of your business.

[@gracep627]

@mizzmatrix any suggestions on where to start men’s underwear wise? I feel like there’s so many options and I don’t want to commit to a huge bag of underwear that I won’t like

[@christinefox5077]

Fruit of the Loom Men's Coolzone Boxer Briefs, Moisture Wicking Coolzone I go with long leg so they don't roll up, and basic black goes with everything.

[@CertifiedPsychiatrist]

​​@@gracep627uck that other suggestion (im kidding) Pair of theives. Sort of expensive and worth it. I have literally forgotten that they're on; thats how comfortable they are

[@sophiefuldauer]

Just wanting to let Alayna know there is an art form of clapping called palmas and it does get very focused on the different tones you can make. For flamenco music.

[@kassidyreece3072]

Between the clapping and the “say it again” bits, Alayna’s top status was on FULL display this episode 🤣🩷

[@KillerOfWhales]

Oh my god that first question and all of your response just hit me so hard. Like I don’t know any of you guys, but being told that I’m a friend and I’m loved and that I don’t deserve to be beating myself up over those kinds of identity crisis problems is something I really needed. Love this podcast so much

[@ninreck5121]

radical honesty and flimsy bits really be doing it for alayna

[@tris5602]

If you're stuck on a "what if" about someone, kill the magic - tell them you're interested. Obsession thrives in isolation. Bringing it into the light and having a real person in front of you telling you what they want can break the spell.

[@narkolator]

Learning about limerence was super helpful for me for those all-consuming, life-disrupting crushes. It doesn't make the feeling really go away, but it taught me to observe the feeling with mindfulness, and I could watch myself being effected with a sort of curiosity, all while getting my actual work done. Good luck everyone.

[@ameliedelanuez4244]

This is my comfort place I love it here. I hate when it ends. I love you guys thank you so much for all that you’re doing here🤍

[@SledgeHammer-vw6rf]

For the gender expression question: Goodwill or other thrift stores. You can get a lot of things cheaper to try on and no one really cares what you are buying. I am AMAB and the first time buying a dress took a lot of courage; the next ones were easier. Thanks again for the great podcast.

[@femfoolery]

Yes! I was going to comment this. I've seen groups of younger folks trying on a whole slew of different things at the thrift store, and it could've been for costumes or fun or exploring options for self expression. All I saw was a group of friends having a fun time and supporting each other.

[@If-loki-was-a-fox]

I relate so much to Alayna's clapping thing, about always being focused on getting it right. I didn't realize that was not just a me thing

[@brettandsam]

My experience with intimacy after infidelity (for context married 11 years with kids) is that my focus changed to it being about my own pleasure. Before I always put him first. Now I do it because I want to. In a similar way to when I was single. I’m not attaching an emotional connection to it which is probably why I’m still able to make it fun and do it often. That’s vulnerable to admit especially because I don’t know if it’s the healthiest thing. Hopefully this makes sense.

[@JuMixBoox]

I never cut my own hair, I did however bleach it. I just couldn't wait to customise my appearance and also didn't want to involve other people in something so vulnerable. Did it look good? No. Did everyone who knew me make fun of me for a while? Yeah. Did it feel good in the moment and do I now remember that feeling every time I look in the mirror and feel like myself? Yeah.

[@JuMixBoox]

I was a sad toddler. My first psychological diagnosis happened when I was nine and the first depression one was at eleven and it only took so long because I learned to internalise it and not be a bother and also was perceived as a girl. I have, however, never really actually gotten treatment, therapy or coocoo pills, so I'm just still depressed and very good at hiding my emotions and love giving everyone small pieces of joy because I know how much that means to them. So in short, I feel for Jen. I'm glad she has such a great supportive partner. Also, to the person currently working at a homophobic church and wanting to get out: My advice would be to either find a queer or radically queer friendly new church and community in real life or online, where you can find sermons and services on KZbin or other resources. If the church and religion mean a lot to you, and how could they not when you spend your days surrounded by these messages, I think it could be great to see that those things don't have to be contradictions to your identity and that love as a core value can be true. That might make an easier transition when you leave these things behind at your job.

[@hi-yo1kq]

“those things don't have to be contradictions to your identity and that love as a core value can be true.” I’m catholic and queer and these words are truly touching.

[@JuMixBoox]

@@hi-yo1kq I'm glad! I have been lucky enough to have had great queer community at churches and I didn't know if I put that into words eloquently enough. You are loved and hatred has no place in a religion that's supposed to be built on unending love and forgiveness for everyone, especially society's outcasts.

[@philhatch483]

Do you have MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) in your area? They are LGBTQ operated and facilitate meet ups, pot lucks, etc.

[@alenarenner310]

This episode combines all my favorite things: Cats, lesbians, ASMR... I'm happy, thank you for your service

[@2nd3rd1st]

Alayna's obsession with clapping was so ripe for butt jokes but this family is too pure for that

[@sergbastian5]

r-i-p-e farts _only_

[@miaogolo6439]

Ah yes. Too pure for butt jokes so they went for sex jokes instead 😂

[@thebooksgirl]

i mean we saw the jokes in Ashley's twinkling eyes, but she held them in!

[@RoxaneJ14]

i think Mak was real close from making one, you can see her smile like 😏

[@rachaelw.5608]

This is such a good episode. For me whenever I shop in a section of the store I'm uncomfortable with, in my head I just tell myself "I'm buying this for someone else, and that's how other people probably view it" they don't know who you're shopping for. It could be for your wife/husband/child/friends. It also works for purchasing embarrassing health products lol.

[@SaraLubratt]

To feel more comfortable with my sexuality, I literally just added a second necklace I loved that made me feel a little more gay to the one I normally wear and it has done wonders, even though it's a small thing, it makes me a lot more confident

[@bguerrero7712]

For the gender presenting thing: Something that helps a lot, specially for yourself, is cologne and perfume. Is not clothing, but you'd be surprised how much changes things. Using more sweet fragrances from the feminine collections, or more male-focused perfumes, deodorants, or even shampoos and this sort of scented products. Another one that is also not clothing that helps, is to get muscles, at least for ftm. Is not that women can't have muscles (as a lesbian I stan it at 1000%), but as a ftm it can get you to feel better with your body. Hope it helps!

[@virgilmcclendon5072]

To be radically honest, you ladies are hilarious, and I love this pod.

[@thebooksgirl]

the how to get over a crush was exactly what i needed to hear: time and dates for character development!! THANK YOU FOR THESE CHOSEN FAM VIBES!

[@parkertruluck]

Love you guys!!! You make me feel so safe, I live in a not so great household and town and when I’m out of school I need something like this to make me feel better

[@parkertruluck]

TW: vent, suicide, transphobia. The town I live in is a very conservative redneck town about an hour outside of Portland or, the small queer population at the jr high and high school is very close and about a month before school let out a ninth grader kills themself, I do theatre at a community theatre, not at school, and my deadname recently got leaked there, I’ve been thinking about joining a professional theatre in Portland and still have great fear of something like that happening because I have had it happen multiple times before in soccer, ski racing, school, a different theatre company and tennis. I’m extremely worried about my deadname being leaked again because where I live doesn’t have nearly as much violence as Portland, we still have a disproportionate amount of hate crimes against queer people than most places, and I don’t want to be let down by something I have in some ways idolized as where I plan on rebuilding my life after graduating high school, I really don’t want to have to go through that again and just needed to vent for a moment.

[@lluvabbs]

i hope everything works out for you 🫶🏾

[@parkertruluck]

@@lluvabbs thanks, I’ll get through it, hopefully nothing will happen with the new theatre

[@jennifermems1111]

Shopping for clothes in the women's section while alone: pretend your gf or wife sent you there to pick up something for someone she doesn't care about and therefore doesn't want to spend her own time on. Wearing women's clothes: start out with women's versions of thing the men's section also has: pants, blouses, t-shirts, etc.. Wearing makeup: start out with the stuff that just makes you look better in general like concealer, foundation, natural color matte lipstick, eyeliner that focuses on the eye-lash line near the outer corners, etc..

[@nics11]

this podcast is the highlight of my week and is my safe queer space, thank you so so so much I love all three of you

[@greenneck5396]

Maybe I’m just really emotional coming out of an heavy therapy session but this episode made me feel so seen and welcome. From to cuckoo pills, to shopping the women’s section, they’re just pants to the dad rants. Ps good will bins are a great place to shop when you’re figuring out your gender expression and even sizing. No judgment, buying by the pound is insanely cheap. Finding what fits your body and your personality is a bumpy road but as long as you’re trying, you’re winning.

[@Tastly]

hello Alayna, if you see this, your audio is a little bit off. I have the same microphone, I think you just need to lower your audio level in the audio system settings so your microphone doesn't overdrive. Hope you have a great day :)

[@Wonderlandish]

Commenting to hopefully give u a lil boost! ^^

[@Joebob62911]

Same

[@arisuwatermelon5414]

Y’all are the reason why I get excited about Wednesdays 😭 Love you

[@themorales6]

Alayna: “I love you guys.”🥰 Ashley: “You guys are fine.”🤣🤣🤣

[@smilingkelly5251]

I love how well this trio checks in and ensures that they are all comfortable in their conversations, while still being silly and joking with each other. But they don’t joke at each others expense, like when elayna said she didn’t like “mommy” they stopped, but they still call Mak baby because it doesn’t bother Mak and is just really funny.

[@valpulaski8298]

Gotta put yourself FIRST. Always. Make sure you nurture yourself because you will be with YOU forever. The right person will come along when you stop looking for them. Ppl are attracted to confidence. Reinvent yourself how you feel you are. Do things that make you happy. Your energy will draw ppl to you

[@CarlyCravesChaos]

Alayna, I don’t know if you already know about this podcast but if you’re interested in hearing a therapist work with couples after infidelity, it’s a common topic in Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel and it’s really fascinating. Anyway, I love hearing about what you’re doing in school since I’m also in school to be a therapist. Much love, good luck to you!

[@ninreck5121]

my first time really loving an outfit I had just bought and really feeling affirmed by it was because I made a bet with a friend who would look gayer in school on monday so if I'd felt uncomfortable I could have genuinely just said it was for a bet

[@summer5198]

It’s 3:25am for me rn and yes my insomnia ridden self is still awake lol (it’s just one of those nights for me where my insomnia is a tad bit more extreme) but Ik this episode will help me wind down some more to sleep.Happy belated 4th of July❤️🤍💙 I hope everyone had a good holiday.

[@bagelthegarbagehuman]

it's just an hour earlier for me, cool to see someone else up late watching this

[@summer5198]

@@bagelthegarbagehuman Awe thank you! So sorry I didn’t see your Reply until now❤️

[@hannahtaylor6520]

During the intro, I had a happy little thought that maybe in the next generation, families will be so much more accepting. Do yall think people can overcome the need to own their children's identities?

[@alexwhitelaw2003]

I hope for this and I'm proud my mother was this for me and others and I hope people gets a mother like mine

[@arshiyaamreen5808]

I still think it's an ongoing process. It will be much better in the west for sure but the eastern part it's still pretty bad.

[@gracecadet3244]

24:57 Mak: "I just spit on my microphone." My gay kinky ass: " Did it say thank you?" 😏🤣

[@lincymoonen228]

For the person (and other people) struggling with their gender identity/expression and shopping in a specific section in the store. I’m a transguy and have been in therapy (for finding out and accepting im trans) for quite some time. Basically what we did in therapy for exploration in gender identity and expression we would make a list of things im curious about/want to explore concerning gender. More specifically a list of things that i was scared to do. And we put them in order from scariest to least scariest. And so i started doing these things from least scariest up. Everytime it was very hard, i won’t lie. But i even found that if i feel like i cant do the next one, i’ll break it down in multiple steps and make the leap of faith a bit smaller. That way you are moving yourself up with small steps. And after a few steps you’ll see that the previous steps dont seem that big anymore and you feel avle to take the next one. You don’t really need therapy for this, you can just make a list of things yourself 😊 i hope it is helpful ❤ love you all. Take care of yourselves. You’ll get there, one step at a time

[@CertifiedPsychiatrist]

Ashley fully not knowing who this person is and saying "don't be mean to my friend" is awesome. I have never related to anybody more.

[@emmalkleist]

8:00 that happen to me last year at track meet but I’m cis and my grandma got arrested for punching the guy

[@fifinoir]

I think the girl Alayna mentioned was Cis as well. And I believe it was two Cis girls he singled out.

[@leopardshadow333]

Your grandma is a badass and I love her for that

[@Do.Your.Best.345]

Your grandmother 🙌

[@jacobcollier4223]

If you want to see Alana having a religious experience on camera, 15:20 is your friend XD

[@Katie-ey9px]

I also struggle with the "flare up" when trying on clothes. The it's just fabric rant really hit home for me! Im gonna add that to my self talk asap thanks friends!

[@CandyCooper-qy1wd]

Ashley and Alayna, so much love for both of you! I love this podcast, it's the highlight of my week 🥰 Mak! I'm coming to Missouri next week for the first time to visit my dad, who's moving out there for work, I'm both extremely excited, but also mildly terrified, wish me luck! I love you all 🥰💕 can't wait to tune in next week!

[@jessicapowell622]

Alayna I love the topics that you bring up! Please keep talking about the your writing topics.

[@PlantBasedLaughter]

19:35 for those who have similar, this can actually be more for internal reflection as you are seeking out emotionally unavailable people and point to that you yourself have some intimacy fears to work through. It is due to seeking a comfortable barrier that we find ourselves attracted to certain people this way. Also may need to see if you have childhood wounds 😅 ❤❤❤

[@layla.williams__]

When I'm shopping and I pop over to the opposite labeled genders section, I just repeat in my head that any strangers might just think I'm shopping for my brother or a boyfriend. How would they know? And I keep a straight face on

[@frejabalslev5613]

For shopping in different sections: I prefer shopping in thrift stores, for the aesthetic, environment and economy but also because at least where i'm from they don't section the clothes in men and women and the clothes are also so close together, that even if you are looking at more obviously feminine clothes like dresses, people don't really notice. BONUS: i like that it's cheaper, so that i can buy stuff to try it out. It's not as much pressure, and sometimes (if it's really cheap) I dont even go through the awkwardness of going to the dressingroom, I just buy it and try it at home. I know this only works for some people, but wanted to share in case anybody needs it

[@julis.6667]

I can't believe it's already #37, feels like you started this a month ago😍

[@bobthetem7892]

For handling crushes, what I’ve found is that asking people out or at least having a conversation about where both of you stand with each other can help a lot. Knowing that there isn’t a chance with someone feels better to me than the possibility there could be because my brain will obsess over the idea that there could be a chance and it’s exhausting.

[@ellouisebadger849]

This podcast is pure chaos but we love it, and great advice 🫶🥰🌈

[@lizzybarretto1997]

Asmr of bugs purring is what I needed this morning!! 😂😂 everyone deserves to start their day with purring kitty snuggles

[@Katslastnerve]

My best friend referred me o this podcast, and I love it! (We’re both VERY sapphic) and we both (in our school) to the mom (me) and dad (said friend) to the queer students younger then us- I love this so much 😂😂😂

[@OneSingularYike]

Not sure if it’s just me but Alayna’s audio sounds kinda fried (love the show btw y’all are great!) Edit: also, I’d buy the hell out of a Radical Honesty t shirt tbh

[@emmashuherk6052]

Not just you

[@rivwilson9330]

only a bit but yeah a setting may be off

[@circleofleaves2676]

yeah Alayna's audio was fuzzy

[@lc360]

The gain is too high I think

[@swiftie4856]

She’s fixing it dw

[@mikeykp6951]

I feel weird watching this because I'm a straight guy but this is one of my favorite podcasts

[@melody_doing_everything_wrong]

For me, exposure therapy has to be coupled with a planned reward, some after care for pushing my boundaries. Also, have a bailout plan cause that helps curb the anxiety.❤

[@fry222]

ashley is so much more tender on here than she is on whgs awww ashley is so sweet here

[@losermcdoozer2478]

I left my phone on yt falling asleep and woke up to alayna screaming nuggets

[@calgoesmoo]

A perspective that’s helped me a lot shopping in the men’s section not being that “target” audience, is to remember in the grand scheme of things how little other other people actually care about you. People might notice you, but at most you might capture their attention for what, maybe 10 to 20 seconds? Then they move on to thinking about themselves. Letting the anxiety of being negatively perceived dictate your happiness is doing yourself a disservice and a disproportionate reaction to what is likely not even a blip on their lives.

[@KatelynJoe]

Literally going through my clothes right now and decided to put this one while I do and it completely aligned! The pants!

[@kristenpickles2374]

I feel like we need to have a purring break during episodes

[@melissaeastridge7402]

I didn’t even realize it was Wednesday!!! I had a bad night and couldn’t sleep but this just made my night so much better.❤️🤗

[@latischahuller]

I am HERE for the kitty purrs!

[@luastar1274]

I love this pod so much! It's truly inspirational to listen to you guys week after week😂

[@Mariethechaotic]

19:54 I did not write that but it sounds a lot like me, except it's one person, my best friend that I need to get over so I hopefully can keep her as a best friend. I made the mistake of telling her recently because we also practice radical honesty but unfortunately it was too much for her and now we're "on a break". I can't lose her as a friend so I need to figure out how to get over her. I've considered that dating thing but it seems unfair to whoever I try dating because I'm in love with someone else.

[@orthenight]

When all this drama first came out, I really thought it couldn’t be true. It was an overreaction. Maybe Ashley went a little too far, and she would admit that and it would be okay. I used to love this podcast, it was my comfort podcast. Now, like many others, I’ve been waiting for an open honest conversation about what happened. Yet two weeks now and it hasn’t happened. Then I heard the audio yesterday. It was so much worse than I thought it would be. And still, comments are being deleted that talk about it. It’s really rude to fans who have supported you to not even address it on the podcast. Not everyone is on Instagram, not everyone see stories. To not address it and just hope it blows over and is really not okay after what happened. I’ve seen so many other fans feel so heartbroken that we don’t feel safe here anymore. I know this will fall on deaf ears but I just can’t believe there still hasn’t been even a conversation about it.

[@deitay]

I am glad I found this comment. I agree fully. It’s feels so fake for Ashley to put out a façade where she cares about everyone’s well being on this podcast, but then her lives shows are vile. I would have been totally okay with accepting Ashley if she had said she was triggered by that fan cheering (it was about abortion), and ofc a real apology that shows Ashley can see the gravity of the situation. But this is just sad I wish Mak and Alayna would make her take accountably by not working with her during this controversy. I’m unsubbing and turning on “do not recommend” Ashley had a chance, I really really wanted to go to her live shows. But now I guess I’m a fallen fan. Im not ignoring this like everyone else

[@LegitPanda81]

You know they record like multiple weeks in advance right? Also why would she address something on her pod with other people that have nothing to do with the situation? Genuine question

[@levivincent8315]

Alayana and Mak have both put out statements on their Instagram I believe and both basically said word for word the same thing. They don't care. This wasn't a one time thing for Ashley, turning off comments on the apology video and not saying how you will do better in the future, is not taking accountability in anyway

[@orthenight]

@@LegitPanda81yes I’m aware of that. I’ve listened to every episode of the podcast. The reason why she would discuss it is they’re business partners and what she does affects them. Just because you record weeks in advance doesn’t mean you can’t do a special recording under emergency circumstances. I’m a business owner, you adapt to the circumstances of what you’re doing. This looks badly on all of them. If I did something that made my business partners look bad to that many people, I would address it publicly.

[@orthenight]

@@levivincent8315exactly.

[@chloe.d178]

i hate when people tell me i shouldn't make jokes bout my trauma, like bitch i aint tryna cry all day laughing is better than crying

[@17081111]

As a former anxious toddler, that only had a diagnose at 17 yo and now a anxious, but in treatment, young adult, I think that the sad baby joke will be good

[@invacela1141]

6:55 oh my god ashley's cat is staring at my soul

[@sawrayne6964]

Keep it up, you guys are the best I love and hate waiting for these videos mainly because I want to listen to it now but I love the suspension for waiting❤ keep it up love you guys❤

[@gil8548]

I love you guys! Great episode; funny, honest, kind, all the things I need in my life. Honestly this pod is such a lifeline. 💜

[@KristinCerda]

The cat ASMR just took this to a totally new level of gayness, and I’m so here for it.

[@amandaodom5732]

Ok but the getting/creating intense crushes hit me hard and unfortunately still deal with it as a college graduate😅 honestly the separation aspect definitely can make a big difference to get perspective, however if you’re like me and it’s because you built an idea of a person in your head which then resulted in a crush, it’s super important to stick with checking on the most basic facts of that person and/or a situation. I.e: what are their actual actions? Do I like them specifically or just like the intimacy, atmosphere, physical touch of another person in general? Does this one statement they made equate to an actual personality trait of theirs? Those types of questions can take me from having an intense crush to realizing needs/wants of mine that aren’t being met, but can be accomplished in different ways or with different people besides the crush. Sorry for the long lecture just lots of experience on the topic😅

[@sezzie6255]

Ashley, I’m really hurt and feel an apology needs to be given to all fans including those on this channel. Watching this podcast used to feel like a safe space where I could learn and grow but after hearing the Indianapolis audio and all the stories coming out in the past days I don’t know where I stand. I defended you in the beginning because I know you can sometimes come off hot headed but it is truely hurtful that you think it is okay to say that to the people that made you who you are and keep your fostering career up. I think you need a break from the podcast and social media to reconsider how you treat your supporters and some time to reflect on what your comedy career will look like in the future.

[@gunselshaly537]

She already apologized.

[@janinaklein8107]

@@gunselshaly537 did you hear the audio of the show in question? that wasn't a joke gone too far. I don't think her apology covers it even remotely

[@xrtat]

@@janinaklein8107 The only audio I could find ist the one with only Ashleys parts in it. Would be helpful to hear the whole thing, not just one side. I think it takes two for that kind of escalation. I wasn't there so it is not for me to decide what happened, if there is not more context.

[@4immerda]

@@xrtat I honestly don't think it matters what the audience member replied or if she was being annoying beforehand. Ashley completely exploded on stage, her yelling stfu sounds like genuine anger and hatred. That was not part of a bit and was just so out of line

[@camieeallen2579]

@@xrtat Do u expect every audience member to have a mic at every show? Ashley wouldn't want that, because then the spotlight wouldn't be on her anymore. The things said should not be said in any conversation EVER, no matter what the other person says. Especially in a room full of people. And she definitely should not have told her audience "not to pull back" when they weren't cheering loud enough while she was bullying. You cannot tell one audience member to shut up while telling everyone else to be louder, that makes no sense.

[@scftforwlw]

Mak the menace🕺, flimsy bits and 🎶radical honesty🎶 merch needs to be a thing

[@eiluvart0416]

i like how they think were gonna remember what shirts they wore last episode😭 like that was a whole week ago lol

[@SophiaArciga-u3g]

SENDING HUGS: To my GAY FAMILY

[@hannarchy6554]

The radical honesty merch needs to be written like it's sung. It needs to be a sweater with Ra cal di ho sty ne

[@charb2743]

My sex after cheating story is different than Ashley. The cheating wasn’t physical but it was still really hard to to process everything and we didn’t do physical stuff for a while. When we did though, it was amazing sex. Like one of the best times for both of us. I do not understand why lol

[@Hhhhhh-f4h]

Yay!!!!!first love getting the notification for a new one!! Makes my night

[@catc2222]

and this week's drinking game is take a shot everytime nugget is said!

[@chloeelimam3899]

I love this podcast, I woke up today like omg it's Wednesday! I really hope we get to see Mak get a kitty 🐾

[@basiam.1448]

I cut my own hair. So many hairdressers told me that they would not cut my hair short, or cut them differently because what I wanted wasn't feminine.

[@N33k5]

Those were terrible hairdressers. I mostly cut my own hair at home but, when I do go to a salon I might get a bit of hesitation but I pull out pictures of myself with my shortest hair and they stop being worried I'll get mad at them. Sometimes it just takes time to find a good one for you. Sometimes they are worried about a client being upset if they "cut too much" or if they haven't ever had short hair will freak out after it is done.

[@NE8675309]

I think Ashley hit it on the head for the first question. That person clearly struggles from low self-esteem (same babes), and I would be willing to guess that is the reason they constantly find themself interested in people that cannot or don't reciprocate. Dating would definitely help, but I would think therapy might help make them understand these patterns of behavior. Also, Mak talking about how to transition into buying clothing outside of one's assigned gender was super helpful and insightful. And, most importantly.... Holy shit Fletcher is so damn cute laying in the window. 🥰

[@AshleyAniston0043]

OMG the question about crushes is EXACTLY how I operate! I hate it. As soon as I’ve made a connection with someone I like a lot I will start naming our future cats.

[@AshleyAniston0043]

Thanks Ashley, but I haven’t been on a date since the before times. I just find it impossible to find someone who will date me. I’m 0 for 9 or 10 just since January.

[@user-sw7ru6tk6e]

IVE NEVER SEEN FLETCHER ON EITHER PODCAST WHAT A PRETTY GUY!!! HES SO CUTE!!!!

[@ironiceilidh]

my dad used to clap for a studio audience and laugh tracks and stuff so i can appreciate the proper clap technique lmaoo he doesn't let us clap poorly

[@kaitlinhenline8367]

Why is the highlight for me the direct eye contact Ashley's cat makes for so long. 😮

[@subtleasian]

I really get the clapping thing - down to the people telling me I have a strong clap; I think if you clap in that satisfying way it gets loud and suddenly you’re known as the loud clapper of the group 28:43

[@452xi]

I just pretend I'm buying a gift for someone else or picking something up for them, if I shop in the mens section. All else fails online shopping 🛍.

[@Rebster]

While my husband didn't cheat, he did tell someone else he loved her, while we were still married. I do remember that afterwards, we had this one instance of just very great sex, where I felt super connected. However, we did have a difficult sexlife before, and he didn't have any expectations of sex, which relieved all the pressure for me which was probably why it was so good. However, that was just once (maybe we had sex like twice (?) more, but not as good) and we did end up divorcing in the end (by his full initiative, so don't know how that played into all of it).

[@deej6795]

The date idea is great. Takes a lot of the pressure out of dating if you're just looking at it as an experience.

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

My favourite time of the week u guys always cheer me up and boost my mood thank u love u ❤ thank u

[@tieragibbs3045]

36:40 just saving this for my asd self when I can't put on pants, thanks Ashley lmao

[@LauraPL256]

Alayna has a teacher clap and I’m all for it 😄 Idk if that’s an actual term, but I’ve used it just about all my life 😆

[@lexoxo25]

i love this podcast so much

[@ekrose1234]

I watched this on patreon and on KZbin because I love you guys and I just wanna support you

[@tizz.89]

I listen on podcast and then I watch it haha support always ❤

[@emmettvictor]

Are the comments being filtered? I don’t see a single one discussing the Ashley situation at all…

[@Suspense1376]

I guess we will find out

[@emmettvictor]

@@Suspense1376 like I just have such a hard time believing that NO ONE is saying anything (positive or negative) about the response and the leaked audio

[@lotus_saturn4208]

yea i think they are… which makes the whole thing worse bc it makes her look disingenuous with her apology

[@janinaklein8107]

the comments on her apology are also turned off... It really seems like they want to shut it down as much as possible

[@sassysoul7779]

There are some comments on it but few and far between. There are some that I have commented on that have been removed and some where my replies have been removed. It's definitely being filtered but it's not 100%. Maybe a bot removing comments with key phrases or something. Anything with a link or reference to that other platform where the audio and the apology are posted keeps getting removed.