Bad Dialogue vs Good Dialogue ROUND 4 (Writing Advice)

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

These videos require a ton of time and effort, so please remember to like, share, and subscribe. Thanks! Also, please consider supporting the channel on Patreon: www.patreon.com/WriterBrandonMcNulty

[@to819]

Somehow, the dialogue video series returned.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

9:16

[@to819]

​@@WriterBrandonMcNultyEat shit and live is amazing.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

@@to819 Right? I've been looking to squeeze it into a video for months

[@EH23831]

Heheee

[@marbellaotaiza801]

It's somehow returnin' time!

[@LoudWaffle]

I hate bad dialogue. It's coarse, and rough. And it exists everywhere.

[@DavidRamirez-vc8dr]

Those lines aren’t even bad in context

[@kingbeauregard]

@@DavidRamirez-vc8dr Agreed. If Anakin had followed those lines with "I never want to go back", then it would be an expression of dissatisfaction with his life on Tattoine, and we'd be okay with it. We'd understand that it's not strictly about the sand. But when he followed it up with: "but you, you're not made of sand, you're made of carbons and hydrogens and oxygens" or whatever he said ... he wrecked what could have been good, by being too on the nose. In "The Empire Strikes Back" when Han says to Leia "this place suits you" (when they're on the ice planet), the original line was something like "you're as cold as this planet" or something like that. Very often it's just a matter of not being too on the nose.

[@DavidRamirez-vc8dr]

@@kingbeauregard oh yeah, but when compared to how awkward the scene by the fireplace or the balcony scene from revenge of the sith are, that sand scene isn’t as outrageous. It makes sense for Anakin to be so awkward at flirting and the corny dialogue fits his character, Padmé’s reaction to those lines is what is unforgivable.

[@Argelius1]

You win the Internet for me today.

[@Arphemius]

@@kingbeauregard Okay, but the subtext is already clear to anyone who is not a complete potato and he did not follow it up with "you're not made of sand". Where did you even get that from? And then your last sentence contradicts your """improvement""" because it would have made the subtext too on the nose.

[@johntabler349]

The best part of the exchange between Cap and Iron Man is when Cap says "you would never be the guy who would lay across barbed wire so the other guy can get across" to which Iron Man replies " I'd cut the wire" it established their approaches and it set up their character arcs when Tony ultimately does "lay down on the wire to save the day"

[@ASEYFRIED]

Yes!!!

[@DejiAdegbite]

Wow. This reminds me how great The Avengers was.

[@ShockwaveFPSStudios]

It actually sets up what happens at the end of the First Avengers Movie. Iron Man tells Captain America that he’s just an experiment and not special, but this is later proven false during the Battle of New York as Cap does show how special & heroic he is by saving innocent civilians as well as ordering the cops to protect the city from the Aliens. Conversely, Cap tells Iron Man that he’s not a hero due to the fact he can’t make a sacrifice, which bites Cap in the dust, as Iron Man actually proves him wrong by being a hero can make the ultimate sacrifice, by sending a nuke into an alien ship in outer space.

[@cringekiller348]

@@ShockwaveFPSStudios Cap never proved anything. He remained ass throughout the infinity saga

[@leigh-anjohnson]

I think that opening dialogue in GoT Season 8 did set the tone for the last season, that good writing was dead and this is what we're getting

[@Jjrmtv]

they warned us with that, and we thought that it would get better

[@alexandredesouza3692]

Game of Thrones really needed to hold off on killing everything.

[@xeroprotagonist]

Yeah, that was definitely not the only time that season they had their supposedly cleverest characters delivering stupidly crude lowest-common-denominator jokes and taunts that made them sound like middle school bullies. I remember hearing them and waiting for the real punchline where they'd pay off something like that 'haha you have no balls' joke and it'd just never arrive. I suspect they blew most of their dialogue-writing budget when someone accidentally added an extra zero to the quantity on their order of 'you are my queen's for Jon Snow and this is all they could afford with what was left.

[@0o0eM]

There is NO SEASON 8! 😤

[@Jenifer_R_]

@@0o0eM Breathe... breathe... it's okay. I know...

[@DiegoRiser]

Captain America & Iron Man's dispute is probably one of my favorite dialogue exchanges of all time. It's been on the back of my head the first time I watched The Avengers.

[@FinchamJace]

All of their banters in the movies are great. Loved their interactions in Endgame especially

[@AnnoyingMoose]

Plus Black Widow says more with a nod of her head than everything that Padme said to Anakin.

[@chloemchll3774]

Say what you will about Joss Whedon (lord knows he deserves it) but the man has a great ear for dialogue.

[@Ultima2343]

I really love how it pays off not only the movie's climax, but also again in Endgame. Both of their barbs prove to be wrong multiple times.

[@trovatamedia]

I also like it, but because it revealed Stark’s ignorance, and why he couldn’t stop making world threatening mistakes.

[@WilliamReginaldLucas]

“Even though she’s drunk and dealing with a concussion she still makes more sense than Anakin and Padmé.” Yeah sounds about right 😂 love that movie, Heath Ledger was so good in so many roles

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Yeah, 10 Things blew me away. Went into it thinking "Ugh, not another high school rom-com" and ended up enjoying the hell out of it. Thanks for watching btw!

[@WilliamReginaldLucas]

@@WriterBrandonMcNultyyeah I was exactly the same when I first watched it 😅 no problem!

[@EH23831]

Still can’t believe how bad those Star Wars scripts were…

[@nimnone]

I have a feeling that all this bad dialogue was intentional by Lucas. He's smarter than most thinks. But for sure, it failed anyhow.

[@nimnone]

@@EH23831 Intentional?

[@TheDukeofMadness]

My favorite Star Wars dialogue is in ROTJ - the "together again", "wouldn't miss it", "how we doing?", "same as always", "that bad, hunh?" exchange between Han and Luke.

[@AJadedLizard]

There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know? You're gonna die here, you know? Convenient.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Also a fan of their exchange on the way to the Sarlaac Pit. "I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur." "There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know." "You're gonna die here...convenient."

[@denusklausen3685]

Something that goes on in the Han Solo line is also the fact that Leia throws away her pride to confess her love as if it was something she had kept hidden, then Han quickly reveals that he essentially has only been pretending not to notice. Very in character.

[@AnotherDuck]

It also sets up the return line later on.

[@MikMortsllak]

5:40 "Even though she’s drunk and dealing with a concussion she still makes more sense than Anakin and Padmé.” I felt a great burn in the Force.

[@ilke3192]

To be fair, Anakin is probably used to them by now

[@Finn-RFD3]

These "good vs. bad"s are low-key some of the best videos on KZbin. Thanks for the valuable insight, Brandon!

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thank you! These Bad/Good videos are a ton of work, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate comments like these.

[@friedrodent112]

This is inequivocally the best way to teach people how to do something right.

[@Finn-RFD3]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty The fact that you actually respond to your subscribers is equally as appreciated.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I agree and thank you for your hard work

[@Zzyzzyx]

It's true. I'm not even a writer or a critic or a fan of anything in particular - I just really appreciate these videos for their excellence and intelligent analysis, and that's why I subscribe. I like learning new things from smart people.

[@timlogan5864]

Nice work. "Die Hard" is celebrated for so many things, but you pointed out a scene that everyone forgets. Holly and Hans with a fantastic exchange that makes you instantly like her without her having to be an action hero.

[@chloemchll3774]

Plus it helps establish what an action hero like John Maclean sees in her- she’s feisty and quick-witted, capable of handling a crisis, etc. If we are gonna root for them to get back together then it helps a lot to establish why the hero cares so much about her.

[@jacevicki]

Hans instantly respecting her feistiness also helps you like and understand Hans. Hans enjoyed their exchange and was far more open to her request because she stood up for herself and was incredibly witty in a terrifying situation.

[@erakfishfishfish]

I like coming up with counterexamples to the bad dialogues. For Lazy Insults/Braindead Reply, it’s hard to beat The Dude’s “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” It’s completely stupid and unimaginative, but it suits the character perfectly.

[@TheZetaKai]

Also, it shows how the Jesus isn't worth their ire. Goodman reacts with frothing rage at every other opponent, real or perceived. But the Jesus only gets a "whatever" reaction from him, because he's a worthless scumbag, and he wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.

[@RandMiller325]

you nailed it.

[@Selrisitai]

Remember that the dialogue is in a comedy. When it comes to good or bad dialogue, half of what makes it so is whether it does what it's trying to do. In the Big Lebowski, that scene needs to do nothing but be funny, ergo, whatever the Dude's response is, it just needs to 1) adhere to character, and 2) be funny. That line wouldn't work in Star Wars, for instance, no matter who said it, or when.

[@SpecterVonBaren]

On the "Job Resume" section. I don't see that seen as being bad other than how it ended by kinda fizzling out. The one guy talking about his wife makes sense, it's not his wife that he's communicating, it's that he made sacrifices for the job and he feels like he's not being treated with respect despite this. To point to another movie example, it's like The Godfather, where we get the famous line, "You come to me today, on my daughter's birthday, to ask for a favor" etc. The comment about the other guy's dad being dead also makes sense in context because, as someone who's angry, he's using it as a way to try and get under the skin of the guy. It's a tit for tat, "disrespect me and I disrespect you." Like I said, it's just the way the scene ends that's bad. The tension should have remained.

[@physeter_de595]

That quote is not unimaginative at all. Because its so over the top, which makes it good.

[@dannybrase1253]

That's how we're going to win. Not by destroying dialogue we hate, but by saving dialogue we love.

[@bevynq]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

[@worldofcardboard3203]

It's amazing that, even amid all that mess, Natalie Portman still manages to make, "So love has blinded you" charming. The dialog is a mess, but what a champ.

[@AnotherDuck]

The actors get so much blame for the dialogue in that film, but realistically, how many actors could actually deliver those lines? Granted, Christopher Lee managed well enough, but he's just that good.

[@RedFloyd469]

@@AnotherDuck The actors really aren't to blame, and I'm afraid Hayden Christensen's career might have suffered as a result. If Samuel L Jackson, Christoper Lee, Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor can't give you a scene that looks well-acted, then it's not the actors' fault, it's the director. It's the director's job to direct, to guide, to explain intent behind scenes and dialogue. The actors are there to act, the director's job should be to give them DIRECTIONS. It's in the job's title! George got too big for his own good, whether he realized it or not. In the originals, the actors all corrected George several times in order to make the dialogue work. For the prequels, nobody dared criticize the mighty all powerful george, and we got stiff, lifeless scenes and horrid dialogue as a result.

[@AnotherDuck]

@@RedFloyd469 That was my point. That it took someone as good as Christopher Lee to even manage those lines.

[@Rosabella.Thorne7]

“Your emotions make you weak.” “That’s what it means to be human, but you wouldn't know a thing about that.”

[@suzybearheart530]

"Your emotions make you weak." "Nuh-uh, YOUR emotions make YOU weak!"

[@mikaelphenix8540]

Or like: Does this feel weak to you? Before killing her. Shows her anger and use it to win. Idk

[@xavierthomas5835]

​@@mikaelphenix8540Out of all these replies, that takes the cake.

[@xavierthomas5835]

I think that, while that dialogue option is better, it still is a bit too on the nose as well as being just a little too cliche. If i had a dime for every time I've heard someone laud the fact that they are human, as well as implying that its integral to the experience, I'd have enough dimes for 2 dollars.

[@Briareos1712]

"Nah, plowing yo mama for hours last night made me weak"

[@DrMambo21]

Braindead reply immediately made me think of The Dark Knight Rises when Bane says Batman came back to die with his city, and Batman says "No, I came here to stop you." No shit dude, that's kinda implied. I've never felt so disappointed in a dialogue exchange.

[@molegoddess]

I was about to offer the same example. Just embarrassing.

[@jaxthebax8406]

Pretty sure that was a bad example in a previous Bad vs Good dialogue video, forgot which one though.

[@AnujChatterjee-q5b]

​@@jaxthebax8406Yeah it was in the 3rd Round. It was a bad dialogue exchange but I still liked the execution and delivery.

[@paulpascoe663]

That for me is the most disappointing ‘mic drop’ moment in any film ever given it was following on from the Dark Knight. Who the hell wrote that and who the hell let it through??

[@monroekelvin8955]

Rare Nolan L

[@humanbeing2282]

I think the sleep away camp example showcases the importance of context more than anything. It’s not like the dialogue was “better” per se, just properly placed in a context it fit with

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Yep, context is huge when it comes to humor. That said, “Eat shit and live” is great line. Love it.

[@gildor8866]

Absolutely. "Somehow Palpatine returned" is often cited as one of the worst dialogues but it actually fits the scene it is spoken in quite well. Its just the lack of any follow up that made it a symbol of everything wrong with sequel trilogy.

[@eugenetswong]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I'm probably in the minority here, but "Eat shit and live." seems childish. It feels like "I know you are, but what am I?".

[@jordanrooker678]

​@@eugenetswongI mean yeah, it is childish... But that's kind of the point. They're kids. That's what makes it such a good line, you're getting relatively witty banter from kids in a way that fits the setting, tone, and characters Thats kind of the whole point of using it as an example (I hope that carries the tone I mean for it to, just trying to discuss the subject, not trying to be confrontational

[@realmrpger4432]

@@eugenetswong It's not a childish line, it's incredibly smart.

[@jcspoon573]

Greatest backstory dialogue that works: Wesley and Inigo. There's a bunch of action, we realize who these men are (to the story), and the two have great chemistry and their friendship/alliance feels inevitable.

[@PhoenixCrown]

"Kill me quickly." "I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either..." Fantastic. (I wish they would have left off the "Please understand I hold you in the highest respect," but I guess it's a kids movie and needs some on the nose emotion.)

[@d-m.n_--2]

I truly believe you are one of the best short form script writers on this platform. I usually disagree with everything you say in these dialog videos, yet I always can easily watch the videos to the end. You present your points excellently, you respect the time of the viewers, and you have such clean audio. I do wish your channel was getting more views.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Hey thanks! I appreciate the kind words. And I REALLY appreciate the fact that you can disagree with me and still find entertainment/value in my work. Great comment. Made my night.

[@clementine9]

It’s truly depressing that videos with actual expertise that are entertaining and educational are less popular than watching someone do their makeup for the 10,000th time 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@TonBil1]

@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Not only was this my first video of you I've ever seen... this is also my first comment of you ever seen. I admire the honest truths that you are ozingin both. Going to check out more of your work. (Says the amateur writer who's got to learn much.)

[@AlexLopez-by7vj]

Tiny jean shorts with a belt and half a shirt. What a time.

[@tattoodude8946]

Those were shorts? Whew! Thought he was wearing body paint! 🤣

[@KristiPedler]

Memories of my teen years...

[@suzybearheart530]

Aaah, the 80s.

[@vincentcleaver1925]

Homoerotica....

[@AnotherDuck]

@@suzybearheart530 Great music, _interesting_ fashion.

[@MarkWiseTechno]

8:30 "Eat shit and live" is indeed a great line! I am 100% using that the next time someone tells me to eat shit and die.

[@jeremyvettech5562]

Happens a lot...?

[@LightTrack-]

It's also an encouragement if you take it that way.

[@stevecarter8810]

Reminds me of my favourite "Jewish curse": May you have a long life... Of exactly the sort you deserve.

[@davidgannon5388]

One of my absolutely favorite dialogue scenes is in The Fifth Element, and takes place across two separate locations, between characters who aren't even speaking to each other! Zorg is given the case that should have the four stones. Smiling, he opens it. He then closes it, still smiling, but says, "This case... is empty." We then cut to Vito's apartment, where Leeloo laughs and Vito asks "Empty? Wh- what do you mean, empty?" Cut back to Zorg, who replies, "Empty. The opposite of full." Then he gets angry, "This case was supposed to have four stones!!!" Then calms down. "Anyone care to explain?" Cut back to Leeloo then explaining while Vito translates. He finishes with, "We're saved." Back to Zorg, who counters, "*I'm* screwed." Brilliant dialogue and astounding editing!

[@jackieschesnuk6669]

I’m always fascinated by these juxtaposition conversations/events and the way they’re edited/written. Is this a style? Or trope? Or…? (I’m new to writing)

[@beccac.4923]

That scene is so good!

[@impeeratorii]

Fifth element has so much great dialogue. Not bad for a movie that features "True evil" .

[@austincde]

The Bahamas of hiding places is pretty funny, the delivery was great 😂

[@kurt9874]

I was thinking that an example of good dialogue for #4, the brain dead reply is from The Fugitive: “I didn’t kill her.” “I don’t care.”

[@browneyeofsauron1244]

I loved the dialogue between Harrison Ford and the detective.

[@mrsturtevant1]

I've always loved that dialogue exchange between Captain America and Iron Man. Besides the action, the dialogue is probably my favorite thing about The Avengers

[@stephen7587]

The "I know" Line from Han is actually perfect for who he is as a character. He's a rules bending renegade smuggler who hates being tied down and doesn't join a cause unless it benefits him personally, or at least at first. He had to come back around to joining the fight at the death star and had already left before hand, he's not the sort of person who would just reciprocate with the same level of intensity as Leia when she confessed her feelings. It left her waiting and built tension for a romance subplot rather than resolving it instantly. It's true to his character, sounds cool, is concise and to top it off it gives the audience one more thing to think about when saving him come episode 6.

[@RagnaRantz]

1st bad example Anakin & Padame “This sucks b/c…” -I’M *sold* 😂 LOVE this man! Don’t even think he meant to be funny, but that jst…landed for me. (+ these are terrific examples from *all* *over* ) Easily subbed! Great video sir, thank you!👍

[@louisnemzer6801]

Oppenheimer is 3 hours of people talking, yet it is enthralling, since each conversation is "attacking and defending", not an exposition dump

[@AnujChatterjee-q5b]

Yeah. The movie was so compelling and enjoyable even with 3 hours of dialogue and a complex non-linear narrative.

[@alexanderh2345]

Most overrated movie of the last 20 years

[@AnujChatterjee-q5b]

@@alexanderh2345 It might not be a perfect or flawless movie. It does have some pacing issues and few subplots are disinteresting. But saying it's the most overrated movie of the last 20 years feels like an overstatement. There are way more overrated movies out there like Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Godzilla x Kong: The Empire, Kingdom of Planet of Apes.

[@alexanderh2345]

@@AnujChatterjee-q5b None of those movies you mentioned won Oscars. Oppenheimer won 7. It’s been described as Nolan’s magnum opus. And it was treated as a near flawless movie. The dialogue felt off in several places. The love triangle felt so contrived and had unnecessary nudity almost like the director thought he’d win extra points with the audience if he did that. And the great climactic scene of the atomic explosion was so underwhelming I couldn’t believe it. The nuclear explosion in Godzilla Minus One was 10 times better. Robert Downey Jr was easily the best part of the film though. I thought he was excellent and Cillian Murphy was good too. But definitely not Nolan’s best work.

[@AnujChatterjee-q5b]

@@alexanderh2345 Okay. I do see your points. The nudity scenes did make me feel uncomfortable but later they proved to be plot-relevant. Prosecutor Roger Robb exploited Oppenheimer's communist ties in the "show trial" scenes . I think Nolan showed them to emphasize how deep his relationships were. I haven't watched Godzilla Minus One but it did win Oscar for Best Visual Effects and Oppenheimer did not so that might be a win. Also most of Oppenheimer's effects were practical and not CGI. The movie did have disinteresting and complex subplots which I did not like. The colonel Pash subplot was probably plot relevant but I found it boring. But overall I think it is a 9/10 masterpiece but I do understand your criticisms of the movie.

[@takeaminute2144]

Han Solo's "I know" still gets me after all these years. Best movie line ever!

[@MSheen-ef3ly]

Turns out that was Harrison Fords input.

[@dawnieb.7394]

@@MSheen-ef3ly I know.

[@Christianoul]

"Let her go!" "Very poor choice of words."

[@criticalbil1]

Man, that _Avengers_ dialogue is absolutely golden.

[@tattoodude8946]

"Oh! Hi Mark!" 🤣🤣🤣 Best worst dialog ever written for a scene.

[@Tfaonc]

The first Die Hard was so good it's not even the same genre as the sequels.

[@davidcomito505]

I don't know if it fits any of the categories but the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is packing his bags to go and he is talking to Marcus. It is a brilliantly efficient little conversation that builds up the mystery of the Ark, foreshadows the nature of the relationship Indy has with the person he is looking for, and the threat of danger. It is such a natural sounding conversation. I thought about it when trying to put a reason on why The Dial of Destiny felt so belabored.

[@lexcoupe82]

It's funny clicking on this video and you using the examples of bad dialogue from Game of Thrones considering how that show was so good at the beginning and how it went from being perfect to being so bad

[@xxxkwilliabxxx]

Seriously. He could do a good v bad just with the beginning seasons and last season.

[@kims6544]

Love these good vs bad videos! I just recommended this channel to my writer's association and checked in for new content. So gloriously surprised to see Sleepaway Camp used as a good dialogue example. Made my day!

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks for sharing the channel! Thrilled to hear you enjoy my work

[@familycorvette]

Actually, the exchange between Tyrian and Varys was very effective in accurately setting the tone for the single worst season of GoT.

[@Starks2510]

These videos you create are excellent. I love the knowledge you bring to the table when reviewing these movies. I am not even a writer but am an avid fan of cinema and can definitely appreciate good dialogue from bad dialogue. It's often what separates the good movies from the bad, because at the end of the day, it's the dialogue that carries the film forward. And some of these examples you provide I don't always agree with, but I totally appreciate your perspective. For example, I have not yet seen Draft Day, but when I first watched the exchange between Kevin Costner and Dennis Leary, I think the most visuals and motivation that came to mind was when Leary brought up his wife and moving from Dallas to Cleveland. I thought this was good dialogue because we get a mention of a character who is not even in the movie, who now acts as a frame of reference for the motivations of Leary's character, and on top of that we get a dig in the implication that Cleveland is a subpar city compared to Dallas. Wasn't first-rate dialogue, but It also didn't feel superfluous. Anyways, great stuff! I just subscribed.

[@racheltheradiant4675]

There's a scene in a little known fantasy movie called Ladyhawke where a priest named Imperious tells Philipe the story of what happened to main couple. There's no images, no flashbacks just great acting and superb dialogue. I could imagine everything he said and it gave me chills. I want to write like that.

[@vincentcleaver1925]

Ladyhawke and The Princess Bride are two perfect and strongly contrasting fantasy romances. Or perhaps one is fantastic romance and the other is a fantasy romcom! 8-P

[@racheltheradiant4675]

@@vincentcleaver1925 you have great taste I see. I love the Princess Bride as well :)

[@chloemchll3774]

Two points for the Empire Strikes Back example: 1) Harrison has talked about how he came up with “I know” and described it as “what would be the last thing a woman who just said ‘I love you’ would want to hear”. 2) While director Irvin Kirshner loved the change, Lucas apparently hated it, and only left it in because it tested so well with audiences. This may go a long way toward explaining why the original trilogy (and especially Empire) are so good while the prequels are… a bit disappointing (true failure belongs to the sequel trilogy, but none of that is Lucas’s fault).

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

They talk about your second point in Star Wars The Annotated Screenplays. Lucas was supposed to do two separate screenings (one with “I know”, the other with “I love you too”), but the audience members were raving about “I know” and that settled it.

[@julietardos5044]

In the novelization, Han's response is something like, "You just remember that because I'll be back." Just awful. "I know" is so simple and so brilliant.

[@chloemchll3774]

@@julietardos5044 Brevity is the soul of wit, as they say.

[@melissaharris3389]

Also, Harriom Ford and Carrie Fishers' deliveries sell the moment. Her admission is all vulnerability after putting on a hard front, and Han's response is as tender as saying, 'I love you'.

[@dawnieb.7394]

@@melissaharris3389 it's the very reason it works. Ford's delivery is perfect. It could have come off as callous or tone-deaf, but instead it's loving & teasing at the same time, all during an incredibly serious moment.

[@metalinyourhead3604]

Ok…. Major props for mentioning Sleepaway Camp. So many channels, talking about cinema and story just go for the same massive blockbusters for their examples and would never ever consider using an inexpensive horror flick. I would also never in a million years think Sleepaway camp would be used for the “good” example 😅.

[@archean432]

Just watched 2 Fast 2 Furious and I have to give it credit for being one of the greatest examples of boring, meaningless, one-dimensional dialogue I've ever personally witnessed.

[@genghisgalahad8465]

5:10 THAT performance is a package that is brilliantly embodying the character and HOW he gives the lines if we're focused on lines and dialogue. The whole characterization is again the key.

[@ellennewth6305]

Valuable advice, Brandon and excellent examples of good and bad dialogue! I never realized Harrison Ford improvised "I know" in "The Empire Strikes Back." Interesting that it was reprised in "Return of the Jedi" only Han says "I love you!" and Leia responds with the exact same "I know."

[@nimnone]

I actually forgot about that opposite exchange. Embarrassing!

[@AskAScreenwriter]

One of my favorite 'childish insult' comebacks: “I eat pieces of $hit like you for breakfast!” “You eat pieces of $hit for breakfast?” “... NO...” (walks away)

[@erakfishfishfish]

There’s a golf towel that has Shooter McGavin on it and looks like a box of Wheaties except the name of the cereal is “Pieces of Shit”. It’s hilarious.

[@erakfishfishfish]

Also, Christopher McDonald improvised the “No!”. They told him to ad lib something and he genuinely drew a blank but made the best of it.

[@Derpy1969]

I’d like to see you rewrite those bad dialogue scenes. Especially half of Anakin Skywalker’s lines. I mean all of them.

[@Youcifer]

I think you're really funny, Brandon. The _Morbius_ part had me laughing. I also love the Chucky vs. James Bond bit near the beginning.

[@JuicyHamburger]

Best dialogue I ever heard: "Where do these stairs go?" "They go up."

[@TheZetaKai]

Sauce?

[@Jenifer_R_]

"Phrasing"

[@mat_tamarin]

​@@TheZetaKai Ghostbusters (1984)

[@undefinedusername]

That was my favourite line from the movie when I was a child (first movie I ever saw in the theatre).

[@BartolinoCat]

From a masterful script. "Yes. We both have the same problem. You."

[@TheMarrethiel]

Aliens 2 is full of lots of good dialogue. Exchanges are often short but give tension and context.

[@dsinsocal]

I thought that exchange in Draft Day was great. It wasn't about the coach's wife, it was about the sacrifice the coach was making (ie. pissing off his wife) when he agreed to move there, and facing the prospect of not being able to justify it to her anymore. Every married guy understood exactly what he was saying with that part of the conversation.

[@enemua]

+1 it's all about the subtext and i think it was delivered pretty nice

[@DanFlorio]

Agree 💯. I wouldn't change a word of this scene.

[@KarateGirl999]

I just want you to know I strongly appreciate your bad vs good dialogue videos. I'm an amateur writer and the number one thing I often struggle with in writing is coming up with good dialogue. Still got a ways to go, but I'm getting there.

[@Selrisitai]

Having never seen Draft Day, I was completely invested in the conversation between those two characters. I wonder if maybe you didn't get the subtext of what he was talking about when he mentions his wife.

[@bettercalljayhall]

I usually agree with these videos entirely. But that Draft Day dialogue is great. Football guys always reference keeping their wives happy. They always talk about how on the field, they’re god. At home, they’re whatever their wife tells them to be. The tension in that movie rises and falls constantly. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did and I found the scene you pointed out to be a major reason why. I reference it often when talking about my girlfriend and us living in Winnipeg.

[@samhutchison9582]

This would have been the perfect video to showcase Samurai Cop. All transcendent dialogue, of course.

[@OratoryJamesIV]

😂😂😂 I love that movie to death. Just a masterpiece in filmmaking ineptitude and incompetence.

[@Kaerusss]

These vids are long but they are super dense and compelling, not only entertaining but they teach so much so quickly too Love this series I know you put a lot of work into it, another great vid mate

[@artman2oo3]

When you said near the beginning of the video that one of the criteria for good dialogue is that it should sound realistic, like really what people would say. I argue that that’s not always the case. Quentin Tarantino breaks that rule, and often. But we still love his dialogue. His characters say things nobody in real life would say but god damn, we still love it.

[@simontmn]

I have to say I liked that coach/football manager dialogue. Two big egos with Main Character Syndrome. The Leary character's wife may not matter to the story the viewer sees, but it matters to him. Each character tries to impose their own frame on the exchange. For me bad dialogue often comes when all other characters implausibly centre themselves round the Main Character.

[@WhiteFangofWar]

Agreed, I could absolutely see two macho sports guys butting heads like this IRL, bringing up each other's families to trash the other's qualifications to make decisions in regards to the team. Maybe don't mention the wife, just use the father's death as a suggestion that the manager is currently being driven by emotion instead of experience.

[@briantrafford4871]

Some of the greatest dialogue ever is in the movie Unforgiven. Little Bill educating the book writer about who English Bob really is (the "Duck of Death" is among the all time great lines) was epic. As was the exchange between Clint Eastwood's character and the kid after the latter killed a man for the first time ("It's a hell of a thing killing a man. You take away all he has, and all he's ever going to have..."). Like I said, epic dialogue.

[@sarmadhabibkhan3036]

Honestly, I can see Chucky saying "Doll, Chucky Doll" just to troll his victims

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

What other dialogue examples fit these categories? Let us know!

[@HBHaga]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, I think it was. Kitanna and Sindell. "Mother. You're alive." "Too bad YOU will die!" Somebody got PAID to write that.

[@friedrodent112]

Imagine if Smaug said to Bilbo: “You see, Mr. Baggins, I love gold!” I also think that it would be more fitting to hear the 1976 King Kong or the Jungle Hunter from Predator say “GIVE ME YOUR FACE!” when ripping an enemy’s face off, more than Optimus Prime in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

[@mattt9278]

"What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else." Oh Storm, how did you miss "It croaks"?

[@beccac.4923]

I've always loved the exchange on the train between Vesper Lynd and James Bond. It's the first time they've met, so they try to read each other the way he brags he reads his opponents at the poker table. It's a subtle way to introduce their backstory, a good example of attacking and defending, and it showcases both characters' intelligence and their chemistry.

[@trevorthornley8835]

If you want bad dialogue examples, Alien vs predator is filled with them. In fact, it may actually be too terrible.

[@gloriafernandes276]

Very similar to " Empire Strikes Back's" of Han Solo responding with " I know " to Princess Leia is when Demi Moore is saying " Ditto " instead of saying " I love you, too " to Patrick Swayze in " Ghost. " Great closing line!

[@thomasmann4536]

when I heard braindead response, my first thought was "and I am all the Jedi!" whereas the absolute best "braindead" reply HAS to be "you're not that guy ... I AM that guy". I don't know how they made something so predictable so fucking badass. Maybe it's Wes' delivery ... or maybe it's the emotional payoff we get in the scene ... but despite its predictability it's probably the perfect thing to say there

[@erakfishfishfish]

I’m going with Wes Chatham on that one. He nailed all of the characteristics of Amos without looking anything like how the character is described in the books.

[@mattt9278]

Can't forget Storm from the Xmen with her "what happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else".

[@thomasmann4536]

@@mattt9278 honestly, i found that one really dumb. because the first part is very specific and sets the expectation of something really funny, and then you get the boring second part. it is even more infuriating when you consider the discovery of electricity involving frogs and how they missed an easy slamDUNK here ...

[@gildor8866]

Sometimes the difference between good and bad dialogue is just the ability of the actor to sell that line. Frodo: "What are we holding on to?" Sam: "There is some good in this world and its worth fighting for". The writers of the LotR-movies said they knew the line could come across as terrible cliched, but Sam Astin managed to get it across convincingly.

[@genghisgalahad8465]

I am all the Jedi is really just two say 7 year old one upping each other endlessly in hypothetical scenarios with no regard for realism or possibility. I'm gonna throw a rock at your character. Oh yeah??? I'm gonna throw a MOON at yours! Oh wait.

[@RKC-1234]

I also love “put on the suit” in very different contexts in that scene! Also, we learn so much about Bruce “in case you needed to kill me, but you can’t! I know: I tried!”

[@tovpp7]

The last one is one of the best examples, you can really feel the difference in tension. One feels completely bland and surface level. One has personality and conflicts which each character is going for the credibility and authority of the other.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Hey thanks! Glad you enjoyed the video

[@hammadmaqsood7884]

Oceans 11 still has the best multi-character introduction of any movie. It's funny, it's in character for everyone involved, keeps the plot going, and is not a boring expo dump or resume.

[@themadpancaker]

I love Sleepaway Camp and that line is great.

[@kingspartacus2407]

Good vs bad videos are very entertaining, I love seeing how subtle changes have a huge impact on a film.

[@ianerickson2210]

These videos are fantastic. Dialogue can seem like a tricky thing to get right, and the myriad of examples and easy to follow points are well done. Hope to continue to improve my written dialogue by integrating some of these lessons! Cheers

[@wynautwarrior2161]

Hey. Thanks for putting this video out. This video actually helped me rework a clunky moment in a future script for my webcomic. I often forget that dialogue is "attack and defend" and this helped me refresh that mindet. Thanks!

[@charlesgbertrand]

How about building up somebody else's resume? A la: "Listen and understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop. Until you are dead."

[@ApesAmongUs]

I'm pretty sure you could put "Doll, Chucky Doll" into a Child's Play movie and make it work.

[@Kasey113]

Watching this entire playlist now... and it's fascinating how many of the Bad examples are from a certain set of Star Wars movies. It's almost like there's a pattern here.

[@EverydayisFriday-bw7bt]

I love the these good/bad videos Brandon. I learn so much each time I watch them and I do watch them several times. Keep up the great work! I learn more from you than I do in writing classes! ❤

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thrilled to hear it! Best of luck with your stories

[@brendanward2991]

Hooper: "That's a twenty-footer" = I'm the shark expert on this boat. Quint: "Twenty-five" = You may be a big yahoo in the laboratory, but I'm the real shark expert.

[@WarningDanger100]

These videos are very entertaining. I often struggle to explain why certain scenes don't work, but you do it so well.

[@authorericar.stinson4849]

I haven't seen Sleepaway Camp in 30 odd years, and I still remember Ricky having such great lines, lol. I have subscribed to your channel since you lay things out in simple-to-understand analogies. Thanks again!

[@Twist400]

I just want to say thank you for making these videos. I'm in the process of rewriting my book, and afterwards, adapting it into a movie. This is truly great advice, and I'm glad you're giving it to writers. Even if you don't read this, it means a lot to me that this advice is accessible to me, and I respect you a lot.

[@johnf1772]

Wow - Sleepaway Camp - that's a deep cut!!! Also a great twist.

[@suzybearheart530]

I love that you showed Sleepaway Camp. One of my favorite slashers, and it's full of fun dialogue. ❤

[@stevecarter8810]

Jaws has always impressed me with its dialog. Even the exposition dump scene introducing Brody over breakfast after the opening scene covers so much exposition, character, relationships and conflict in only a few lines and does it naturally. I'll have to go rewrite that on the nose to really appreciate it.

[@BoScotty]

another banger of a video as usual, Brandon! I'm glad I found your channel. I believe your first "Bad Dialogue vs Good Dialogue" video was how I found your channel! Keep up the good work! I have an example of dialogue that I think fits your 4th example when it comes to comebacks. I'm not a huge fan of the movie anymore, but near the climax of Dawn of the Planet of the apes, Koba tells Caesar, "Apes together Strong, Caesar Weak.". Physically, Caesar is bloody and weakened, but he responds with, "Koba weaker". it seems simple and childish lol, but in context considering Koba is in perfect physical condition, Caesar is definitely talking about how crappy of a leader Koba is by example. It's simple but I really like it. I just wish There was something more clever to Caesar winning in the end than just simply beating him to make that quote much better, lol.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

As always, thanks for watching and for the kind words. I need to check out the recent Planet of the Apes movies. Heard good things about the one that just released

[@LexRemlap]

Can't get enough of these, thank you for four information packed videos. The hours spent here saved me days of work later. Good work.

[@GulamMohammed-s7c]

Don't stop this series!!!

[@VincentEdelstein]

This series saves my LIFE

[@benedixtify]

5:25 "I might have to start taking out girls who actually like me" - Another thing the line does is allude to the fact that he's being paid to take her out

[@vereuson7]

I've been watching your videos lately. I'm writing a sci-fi story and I gotta say your content is really helping me!

[@FCSchaefer]

Bonus points for saying something great about Sleepaway Camp.

[@oliverford5367]

"Your emotions make you weak" "Maybe, but I'm still stronger."

[@wombat6]

I kind of want to submit the "set me up with Janus" scene from GoldenEye for every category except the cliché buffet. Bond and Zukovsky are riding the line between insults and banter, because after all, they are former enemies, they have backstory together, but Bond is trying to get Zukovsky to work with him this time. Every reply is sharp, there's tension in the entire scene because Zukovsky is still mad at Bond for something that happened before the film's timeline. There is very little "job resumé" dialogue except what is absolutely needed, namely the fact that Janus is a Lienz Cossack. Most people don't know that much about WW2 and the Cold War to understand the subtext the entire movie uses without this info, but it's still introduced well and not like a brain dead info dump.

[@ryuk5673]

Nice to discover a channel that comes at this subject with the amount of research it deserves. I see too many channels today that try to do what you do but have no clue on how to explain why a scene is bad as opposed to good because they know almost nothing about story structure, rhetorical devices, and just in-general, high-level literary analysis. Most people have know idea what these terms even mean let alone how to apply it to a critique. Happy to sub to you

[@wilsonmateo6346]

6:58 that dialogue was amazing and hilarious for me hahahaha

[@ComicPower]

Another fantastic video. As an author currently writing a fictional thriller, your videos help me focus. Especially for subtext.

[@briandouglasahern7067]

This is the first of your videos I've seen. Very well done with fine insights. Subscribed.

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks! And welcome to the channel

[@siegfriedmordrake3229]

Man, I had forgotten how abhorrent the "love" dialogues are in the Star Wars prequels... I cringed so hard in my seat I fused with its back

[@joshuajarret6907]

“Eat shit and live, Bill” is somehow the best response to an insult a character has ever said.

[@sny8696]

Up there with the godfather😂 yeah morbius might just be one of greatest movies ever made🤣🤣

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

It’s by far the Morbiest movie I’ve ever seen

[@Stickman_Productions]

The morbin time memes feel like they came out ages ago but it's only been 2 years

[@thor3279]

yeah its impact on cinema for the next century will surpass Citizen Kane's

[@tadou98]

I had to question myself it the author was actually referring to "that" film ! Such a masterpiece.

[@threearrows2248]

Ok I'm still trying to figure out if I should bother watching it. Is it like a, it's so bad it's good thing?

[@champloo933]

i was getting worried there’d be no video today! i loved this one and i have some ideas i’d love to see how to write: -time skips (the passage of time, sudden character changes) -superhero characters (social identity, personal life vs career) -deuteragonists (how do i challenge my protagonist from someone other than the antagonist?)

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Thanks! Already way ahead of you on Time Skips: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJTTlYejmMiie68 I'll add Superhero and Deuteragonists to my list. Thanks again!

[@Kaerusss]

Good suggestions, I'd love to see these too

[@shawn576]

Tarantino movies always have excellent dialog. It generally tells you who the characters are. Pulp Fiction had a lot of nonsense conversations, but you got a feel for who these people were. They're not just guys wearing suits. They're talking about foot massages, going on vacation in Amsterdam. It makes them seem like real people. Some people try this and it just gets weird. "I hate sand." I don't even need to type the rest of that conversation lol. Mark Hamil said it best when he shared a story similar to that on a late night show. "Who talks like that, George?"

[@jacevicki]

Reservoir Dogs' diner scene where they were arguing over tips was such a great way to differentiate all the characters and it carries subtext that is hidden because at this point you don't even know they are criminals about to rob a bank, that one is a cop, etc. It is all vague and mysterious to keep it intriguing.

[@AJadedLizard]

Tarantino's an awful writer, what are you talking about? "Are you real?" "I'm real as a doughnut motherfucker." I refuse to believe this line was written by a human being. Tarantino is the ultimate Emperor With No Clothes: people have been told he's an intelligent writer, so people perpetuate that myth to sound smart themselves, and then they get angry when you point out that his dialogue is nonsense and he's incapable of writing characters that aren't powerfully unlikable or self-inserts (but I repeat myself).

[@fissilewhistle]

Tarantino knows how to write characters that talk like human beings, a skill that George Lucas hasn’t mastered yet.

[@AJadedLizard]

@@fissilewhistle "Are you real?" "I'm as real as a donut, motherfucker." Yes, that's definitely how human beings talk.

[@Lilferiby]

​@@fissilewhistle I agree, but I also think that Tarantino does too much "shower dialogue". The sort of thing that you think to say later after a conversation. More idealised human speech than natural. Which is fine every now and then, but personally I find it a bit stale when almost everyone has these perfect on-the-spot monologues. It's smart dialogue, sure, but too smart when everyone talks like that. I think it'd work better if you had people flubbing bits of the conversation and maybe repeating part of it to someone else later with improvements. Or paraphrasing something that someone said to them, to someone else later on. The sort of natural things that people do all the time. Obviously, if you added verbal stops all the time (um... err... like...) it'd get tedious, but I always think that a couple here and there would help Tarantino dialogue seem like the characters are actually thinking it up on the spot, rather than reciting a rehearsed speech. Someone I used to work with would never use verbal stops, and always spoke in well thought-out sentences, but the consequence of that was that they spoke really slowly, and often repeated things you've said back (which gave them time to think and make it seem natural rather than just standing in silence, hah). Either way, better than Lucas where it can often sound like people are responding to what they thought they heard, rather than what was said, hah.

[@dionrobison8516]

This is a great series - thanks for doing it again!

[@WriterBrandonMcNulty]

Glad you enjoy it! Thanks for watching!