ZX Spectrum Made a Porno | Barshens

[@Laurabeck329]

Eli is slowly turning into a miniature Hagrid.

[@richyvandamme]

Mihovil Beck maybe Hagrid was a big Eli?

[@joannegray5138]

More like a dwarf from Middle Earth.

[@Fnorgh]

Speaking of dwarves, all I could think of when I saw Eli as the King of Plasticine was how he would've made an awesome Thorin. He's just got that stouty dwarfy grumpiness down pat!

[@jank6085]

I think he looks a little like Karl Marx with dark hair.

[@Draconyx13]

Jank - Well now you're just being insulting!

[@adamhogan5176]

Barshens has become the highlight of my week at this point

[@Fershizzal]

adam hogan that's awesome

[@maxscardanelli6185]

It’s been mine since they started.

[@sebp9882]

And now there is a Barshens shaped hole in my heart

[@TheJohn8765]

I do like how disreputable Barry looks on this channel vs his cooking stuff. "Right, I'm hungover and haven't bathed-- time to do Barshens!"

[@PraetorianCuber]

"I'm commissioning a troop of seamen into your rear hatch." I am dying

[@swanningabout]

Ok

[@Johnnyafc]

Eli looks like a Poundland Ron Jeremy

[@Seth-hc2bj]

Fred Wood ha!

[@_Piers_]

With how Poundland is now, he'd probably cost £10...

[@MXOY99]

HAHAHA! I'M DYING! XD

[@SkrimOnYouTube]

Paul those porn set details NEED to be explained in Cheapshow!

[@samholdsworth420]

No they don't

[@paulgascoigne5343]

Well I am shocked that "Granny's Garden" or "Kokotoni Wilf" weren't in there.

[@d2factotum]

Or "Up 'n' Down" for that matter...

[@polishenglish8356]

BIIITCH..HEAD! :D Eli shines as always :D

[@jmckendry84]

Eli makes any Barshens video 62% better

[@PropaneWP]

Pretty good game. I remember wasting many an hour on it.

[@samholdsworth420]

​@@PropaneWPwhat?

[@JonasC22]

Eli looking more and more like old homeless Frodo

[@paulgascoigne5343]

Jonas I kind of get the Radagast The Brown vibe myself. He just needs a few noodles in his beard to represent twigs.

[@drwhoscumrag]

Hobo the hobbit

[@Jenna_Miles]

But in a good way, right?

[@boredfartless4221]

He looks more like a Dwarf who'd cry DRAGON! Just so the other Dwarfs ran off and left all the gold for himself

[@lividsphincter4098]

Jenna Miles I mean ... I'm aroused.

[@CrazyRiverOtter]

I wasn't big on British computers before, but after this video I'm on the Spectrum.

[@sirp0p0]

I have come to fix ze vashing machine.

[@23Scadu]

You can imagine where it goes from here.

[@drwhoscumrag]

Bum chicka wa wa

[@Battledongus]

helllooooooooo

[@stinkywhale897]

Personally, my favorite pornographic film is one you probably have never heard of. It is called "Ashens and the quest for the gamechild".

[@RAFMnBgaming]

I don't even want to think about what porn would be attached to that title. There are things man was never meant to see.

[@chessoc7799]

Oh the curves on that handheld lol.

[@samholdsworth420]

The sequel to that por*o is better

[@JayTheBoat]

this has me in tears in my kitchen and by the time I stopped laughing my year was cold. Thank you for this

[@jakublulek3261]

Penetrator is both (movie is porn spoof of Terminator), The Muncher is also porn movie (not original, German movie translated to English), Cisco Heat is also a porn, and Slap Fight is in nature Monty Python sketch.

[@184fish]

This even has the same background music as when it was originally on Ashens channel. Needs more sexy German accent.

[@VenseyNess]

So many comments comparing Eli to fictional characters. That just shows that he's to good to be true.

[@koumi1]

When working at Blockbuster video years ago we had a film called Greased: The one that I bonk. Surprisingly it never rented but I wish I could of laughed at the person who picked it out to watch it that night

[@TheWoundedFoot]

Why not Zed-X-ploitation? *shrug*

[@cosmicjenny4508]

+Solar Temple Wow, that's genius.

[@AveragePootis]

13:30 Rare to see a STRV 103 in older media

[@DemienC.]

Time for some self-reflection and rethinking my life. Because... ...I recognize ALL those names.

[@gtametro]

I recognised supervixens

[@DemienC.]

Heh. Once name Russ Mayer in credits meant "There will be lots of huge boobs"

[@putte954]

Maybe you are on the.... ZX Spectrum

[@SlackerKite]

Not even hoping for advertising money on this one are you?

[@DeuteriumtheSentientMattress]

I am enough of an Ashens fan to recognise some of these from Stuart's old video about Speccy games that sound like 70s pornos.

[@jordanmellor5903]

anyone gonna put Eli in Machete 3 as an extra? "Beach Head" made me cry laughing

[@PunkHardSisters]

This is spectacular. Please keep em coming!

[@shuriKen469]

mas por favor! Mr. Ashen needs to do this for every system if posiblé. y'all are mucho entertaining!!

[@Kumimono]

I'm surprised no-one knew the term "establish a beachhead". And, peculiarly, I don't own Slap Fight, but I do own a 1988 Finnish gaming mag with Slap Fight on the cover.

[@jakublulek3261]

It was released for many platforms and it's predecessor of much, much more important game, R-Type (because both were made by IREM Corporation).

[@get-the-joke]

Supervixens is classic by Russ Meyer. It has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and really big boobs. How do they not know that movie?

[@JacksonJacoy]

Is it a game or movie

[@get-the-joke]

Well, you can play with yourself watching it.

[@JacksonJacoy]

nice

[@kaisersoymilk6912]

In case of someone didn't know, it's not porn. It's just a 70s "sexploitation" movie.

[@therunawaykid6523]

Oh really? Well I better do some research then

[@TheTray89]

I love how Eli and Barry turn into Cheech Marin around 7:50 lol

[@totz_the_plaid9625]

Looking forward to the book being available in the U.S. so I can read it!

[@barbugia123]

THE KING IS BACK!

[@Alibm80]

All hail the king!

[@bradleymorgan8223]

Stewart's ability to keep a straight face is unreal.

[@rocknrollnerd5]

Forget the weekend, this is why I look forward to Fridays

[@ankhtahr1401]

Woo! Chris and Izzie are back, so great camera and sound again!

[@therunawaykid6523]

Heard they were in a porno once

[@ColinHexr]

Stonkers: lets make a game named after a meme that doesnt even exist yet *STONKS*

[@punkslime6349]

'Penetrator' isn't a porno, but 'The Penetrator' is. Thanks for that, Cinema Snob

[@MistyLMR]

Punkslime I LOVE Cinema snob!

[@RedesignatedClockwork]

that was certainly a font choice

[@JET95]

I never thought I'd hear Watto ask for head...

[@twocvbloke]

I don't have a favourite porn movie, 5 minutes in and I'm done..............

[@jon-paulfilkins7820]

For a fondly remembered 80s/contemporary "dodgy" films rented from the local video rental shop would have been the Deathstalker series that definitely fell into the soo bad it was almost good (I did say ALMOST, so don't get your hopes up!).

[@SalmonJonesTheMagnificent]

"Half a tit in 45 minutes" may be the hardest I've laughed all year.

[@beecarthen4347]

“Hi, I’m Mic Lapel”

[@ToniHyvarinen86]

And now everyone should go watch Ashen's "25 ZX Spectrum games that sound like seventies porn movies" video

[@kidkunjer]

supervixens is freaking awesome... it's like a Tarantino softcore... seriously watch it, its great!

[@JacksonJacoy]

Barshens needs more subs

[@jeremyfisher42]

Absolutely amazing face from Stuart ashen at 3:19

[@joannegray5138]

I automatically thought of Russ Meyer at the mention of Supervixens. Bravo channel on Sky did a season of his films about 15 years ago - every ad break, they were promoting these bloody films.

[@keiyakins]

I missede this one until now! I got it right, almost entirely because of the classic 2011 Ashens video where he read them with a weird pseudo-german accent.

[@stuartbh8165]

'Raiders of the Lost womb' was an under appreciated joke I feel

[@PersephoneYT]

"That's a snuff film" lmao wat barry

[@chaoskid4339]

I can already tell it's gonna be great and I'm about 5 seconds in

[@matthewb3635]

That sounds sexual lol

[@keyholes]

I realise it's because I have the sense of humour of a fourteen-year-old boy, but this made me laugh harder than I have all week. Thanks, you fellow filthy bastards, much appreciated.

[@dmd8552]

THIS VIDEO NEEDS MORE PAUL!

[@twocvbloke]

No, Paul was probably off camera for having his todger out at the mere mention of porn...

[@sawyererickson3424]

all of them need more paul if i'm honest

[@johnclavis]

It just occurred to me that the name of one of my favorite Commodore 64 games, "Below the Root", could be the name of an odd sort of porno...

[@GuppyCzar]

I remember finding Supervixens in my dad's VHS stash and being profoundly disappointed.

[@RobertT1999]

I thought this was going to end with a book promotion. I can't wait for my special edition 😁😁😁

[@RobertT1999]

And here I was 5 years later thinking I hadn't watched this video.

[@johnclavis]

I knew Camille 2000 had to be a porno. The name Camille doesn't sound like a video game protagonist, nor does it sound like a reference to the location of a famous battle or the name of an alien planet or anything else related in any way to a video game or video game subject matter. On the other hand, the name Camille does sound like the name given to a porno protagonist... It's pretty and romantic and slightly exotic. Okay, I thought way too much about this.

[@RS250Squid]

I've never played Sperm Gargler Sparky Worm. It sounds like a very odd game!

[@TediI47]

Not sure whether i should be proud that from the top of my head i knew Supervixens was one of the movies. And that it was directed by Russ Meyer. And that i have a poster of Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! above my bed.

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

I love the font they went with

[@sirkowski]

But there's a PENETRATOR porno, I protest! And god bless Russ Mayer.

[@Andromedax01]

I distinctly remember seeing a vhs tape for "Penetrator 2" in my videoclub when I was younger. The cover was a parody of Terminator 2's

[@NeoSaturos123]

Unfortunately, its title was THE Penetrator. Big difference. Starred old-school porn actor Ron Jeremy, Cinema Snob did an episode on it.

[@chessoc7799]

God I'm old I remember those games. Did not play most of them but I remember them advertised in sinclair mags lol.

[@CptFuzzball]

Cisco heat was awesome on PC though .. played it tons

[@mrflibble1259]

Time to test KZbin's new Demonetization algorithm to the max

[@Lukethefox]

I think there was a Dangermouse game for the Spectrum called 'Dangermouse in making whoopee!'

[@pranksteraleks9066]

Oh my gOD 11:50 Mr weens and the she vampires I saw that in a charity shop like 3 months ago 😂

[@paulgascoigne5343]

Prankster Aleks no spoilers! (it could have been a charity porn shop)

[@natgrant1364]

I have Beach Head on the Commodore 64 somewhere around here. I might have to dig it out and play it again. I seem to remember it being an extremely good game.

[@iamdb1990]

I love this, so good

[@AboboKing]

Should I be proud or ashamed that I picked it out correctly?

[@scruffydarealog2632]

AboboKing both

[@yomdood]

You'd think the one looking like Ron Jeremy's hairy cousin would be good at this. Love you Eli

[@Lynch___]

9:34 LOOK AT STUART'S FACE

[@richardcutts196]

The description of Mr.Weems sounds like a Monty Python character from The vocational guidance counselor sketch.

[@fishwater]

Lovely fonts you've got there

[@XOIIOXOIIO]

Well now every time barry has said "ooh that's a stonker" has been corrupted.

[@Wenchfaery]

Jesse This is exactly what I thought!

[@swanningabout]

I'm enjoying the video title font....

[@brianhedley5139]

The original title was the Amazing Mr Weems and the Sex Vampires but they had to change it due to controversy.

[@RedRamzor]

The face that Stuart makes whens he's delivering a line while trying to keep a straight face is my favorite. It reminds me of that meme of the sloth astronaut

[@Lin612]

With a title like that...how could I not click?

[@lapytop]

I remember Ashens did this a while ago as a short segment on his channel, might have been from that bbc thing, it was the same music as well but it was all games that sounded like pornos and he did it in his 70s german porno accent...I watch Ashens too much.

[@obsoleteworlds]

"Weems, a failed accountant turned lion tamer found circus life too dull so he decided on a career as a vampire hunter" I wonder why they put in the bit about the lion taming? Was it too preposterous to think that anyone could find accountancy dull? Weems, you are an odd man.

[@jakublulek3261]

Monty Python's Flying Circus reference. They made sketch about accountant wanting to be a lion tamer.

[@a.square8658]

What is that font? Looks good for a job application, or on a church sign.

[@NoFormalTraining]

Firebird also made a game called Thrust, if memory serves.

[@laurabey4332]

Love it funny stuff more please

[@MrBombphoon]

So .... er ... who's the girl in the thumbnail?

[@studefishernikal]

MrBombphoon I want to know too... For research...

[@maxscardanelli6185]

MrBombphoon I thought that it was Zoella at first.

[@stingersplash]

Someone off the babestation channel it seems

[@therunawaykid6523]

@@stingersplashahhh babestation

[@KatastrophicNoodle]

RIP monetisation

[@ChristopherJacob]

This is brilliant 😂

[@RealWorldHub]

And here we see have the biggest recording room, and here we have.... bar-nvm

[@Exospray]

the font, the font! Also didn't you do this list years ago?

[@as6110]

I love the font 😂😂😂

[@jezz2k]

Penetrator on the Spectrum was a Scramble clone (minus the fuel), not a flight simulator.

[@wisteela]

Yay, I got them Slap and Tickle from Shoot 'Em Up Construction Kit was based on Slap Fight. A car boot simulator needs to happen. I can imagine that game existing in the 80s.

[@stingersplash]

Id love my backer copy before xmas like

[@morten5939]

SuperVixen was a computergame in early 2000s or late 1990s, think it was 3 games, where your entire gameplay was to stimulate a straped-up woman with a lot of different sextoys. When she climaxed you got to the next level. Was funny as hell, nippleclamps, buttplugs, feathers to tickle, mouthballs, you name it, it probably was there.

[@ptjuntunen]

this was good game for banter

[@michaelbianchi22]

It's odd how well that Brit does a Mexican accent.

[@MXOY99]

A Free Ride (1915)... There ya go Barry, since ya so interested!

[@bio-plasmictoad5311]

Weren't they car boot sales in the early 80's ? I thought they would be.

[@ahandsomefridge]

Slepp Fight? I'm in!

[@katharine4741]

13:33 That's an S-tank. It's crewed by S-tankers. Or Stonkers. I... Words fail me.

[@Ghost_Of_SAS]

Name of the tune?

[@anumeon]

And thanks to mr Silverman, my mind will now be saying BEACH HEAD!!! in a bad accent for the forseeable future.. :)