Unlikely dating profiles | Mock the Week - BBC

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Mock the Week | Series 17 Episode 5 | BBC
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[@asharabahmed2502]

i love pain, I LOVE PAAAAIIIIINNNN! 😂 brilliant.

[@romainsavioz5466]

PAAAAIIIINNNNE

[@SeanWithaFada]

That last joke was brilliant😂👏

[@williamdrury-smith3972]

Seán F for Theresa

[@yungstallion2201]

Which one

[@2bjjones]

Sounded like a police profile 😅

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Male horse seeks female horse for a stable relationship.

[@Mrcheckpointeh]

Rein it in, why did you saddle us with that

[@Shenaginator]

Okay thats good lmao, A mare and a stallion having a stable relationship, now that will be hard to find.

[@christeebs]

James Acaster is probably my favourite comedian in the world atm.

[@junkjackbuildernz]

James Acaster is definitely my favourite person in the world for ever

[@jamiewing4468]

christeebs Strange, I don't find him even the slightest bit funny but each to their own I guess

[@christeebs]

Jamie Wing Who do you find funny? out of curiosity

[@jamiewing4468]

Hugh Dennis is easily my favourite but Andy Parsons, Milton Jones and Ed Byrne are also really funny.

[@user-ep5cc3cj2v]

Jamie Wing same! and hugh is my face also

[@MyChannel773]

ed’s joke worked even better bc he completely looks like someone who would own a foldy-uppy bike

[@berenike2144]

James Acaster's delivery is always on point.

[@mathieuleader8601]

Profile: Dan P. Orton CEO of Dating website seeking relationship with another CEO of a dating website for corporate takeover

[@CelebrianUndomiel]

the Theresa May one oh my god hahaha

[@Edstar2015]

“Do you want a man who can call love, call me I’m a Wimbledon umpire” 😂😂😂 hilarious

[@nzranasr]

THAT CONCAVE JOKE HAHAHAHAHAHA I spit my drink out

[@AndyParry82]

I learned long ago not to drink whilst watching this show :D

[@tomtom21194]

I love paaaiiiiin

[@87654321j]

Perfect for all masochistics lol

[@diranbodossian6061]

0:09 James looking like he was on his way out of the supermarket before his mum ran into her friend from the book club

[@BingQilin]

Are you interested in a bad boy? Good, cause I'm a boy who's bad at everything.

[@jameshenderson3013]

Corn Bone crrrinnngggeee

[@dez3540]

"I love paaaiiinn!", man's a genius.

[@marinetteroux8437]

James's line delivery is so brilliant!

[@curiousgemini]

50 Shades of Pebbles

[@HN-kr1nf]

*painnnn*

[@yungstallion2201]

1:49 I don’t know what it is, but I love his voice

[@TheDukeOfWaltham]

I'm not good with accents, but Wikipedia says Ed Byrne is Irish.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Are you here for a good time and not a long one? Great! I know how to have a good time and I don't have a long one.

[@x_8643]

That last want was brilliant

[@mye786]

😂😂😂 Who's the guy with the checkered shirt? He's hilarious!

[@mye786]

Thanks bud!

[@Dan-mt9bu]

Hugh and James are the only people keeping this series alive

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

Ed Byrne.

[@bezerkoid]

Dara too!

[@TheTomLees]

Ed Gamble

[@iz723]

Def Dara, but this show is on it's way out. The people just seem fed up

[@eleanorbarkla2765]

Rhys when he's on it

[@calhal44]

James acaster is the best

[@SamarIqbal1-2-1]

Callum Haspell Even better than Hugh?🤨

[@uo9805]

Samar Iqbal defo

[@brinhitchings5994]

james acaster slays me every time 🤣🤣🤣

[@NateSean]

If you're looking for a man who's not afraid of commitment you're in luck. I've been sectioned.

[@Chebab-Chebab]

'Are you looking for me to FIX your love life?' 'Call me, Jim.' (Age restrictions may apply)

[@RapidBlindfolds]

lol the last is the best

[@pippipster6767]

Jesus, they’re all so bloody clever 😂

[@jaggass]

''Priest seeks oh hang on ive already been to prison for that''

[@obs4281]

Ha. Ha. No.

[@michaeldowdney3887]

James Acaster is always very good but this one was hilarious from him

[@TheHadesShade]

I like the female comedian already!

[@franceslovesrainbows]

Concave woman 😂

[@plants_people_profit]

Last one was the best one, the truth added to it

[@mrnonsense1031]

My entry: I want to find that special someone who I can take home to meet mom! 😍 Mostly because I live in her attic.

[@MDZS101]

Hugh and Ed are the main redeeming comedians on this episode

[@adaml5796]

you know, it’s been so long that if a baby we’re to have been conceived when your comment was written it would have most definitely been born by now but, regardless, I’m still going to say You’re wrong.

[@romanxxxxyoutube]

Elderly man with dementia looking for... what was I looking for? Where am i? What is this odd lookig typewriter?

[@joeblundy9185]

0:33 "I love pain!!!"

[@aliceevans5465]

The last one though 😂

[@mathieuleader8601]

Profile Cupid seeks somebody to love

[@obs4281]

um well that was woeful

[@KatrinOv]

I've been watching this fantastic show for years and I think I've watched every single clip of it that is on KZbin. But I never really understood the concept... What is the buzzer for and is there a winner in the end? :D Would be great if someone could enlighten me :D Thanks!

[@duskodair309]

Katrin Ov. This is the last round. The concept of the show is that they’re on two teams and they talk about the week’s news. Other rounds include - if this is the answer, what is the question? And one where they do stand up on a specific topic. The buzzer is just the host, Dara, telling them they’re done so that he can make them go away. At the end of the round he gives points to the team he thinks are the funniest and the team with the most points wins the show. Nobody really cares who wins though.

[@ashishsamabraham3794]

My entry: I like men who look like Dara.

[@MrKlonkie_official]

I too am a Wimbledon umpire...

[@Kaihass.]

Hugh, ed and james are just so good. They keep this show going now all the other amazing people have gone.....

[@benlloyd9237]

I_ Helios I miss frankie, Russel and Andy

[@chrisgarton4225]

Why am I wearing this hat? Well because I’m auditioning for Whose Line Is It Anyway

[@savannahlily7107]

Hugh and James are the most 🤣

[@wendyalexander5342]

That was good. A Wimbledon umpire

[@jaggass]

''man seeks woman who's caring, a good listener, likes walks in the parks, romantic dinners and will wipe my arse after a shit''

[@NewfieMan98]

I will always refer to them as foldy-uppy bikes now.

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Orange haired, orange skinned, US president in his 70s, looking for younger woman who looks like my daughter.

[@quizmaster85]

Want someone who doesn't mind doing the same thing over and over? Call Dave.

[@mrsmiles9330]

muscly, hairy, deep voice, size 11 feet 6ft 9 Sarah- aged 18

[@GoodSneakers]

“Hung like a hoover” sounds like a Steel Panther song.

[@williamrodger4291]

Oml James and Ed 😂

[@RapidBlindfolds]

0:27 nah mate thats a fire one you should legit use that as your bio 😎

[@jaggass]

'American man seeks woman who's not from the same family''

[@TheKartana]

Things you wouldn’t hear in a courtroom

[@menckenwolf]

I didn't understand Tom's joke.

[@davimurph]

That's how Danny Dyer described David Cameron on Good Evening Britain, which was a short-lived spinoff of Good Morning Britain.

[@anthonycutt8854]

I don't get Tom Allen's one about Dave in Nice

[@87654321j]

Middle age man into young girls please contact HRH The Duke of York lol 😂

[@jaggass]

''Do you like spending time with someone who's well educated, chatty and offers the best GFE in the area? to book an appointment ring Rachel on''

[@Pond721]

"My name is John and I'm 5'7"

[@jaggass]

Cheryl' aged 35 from Newcastle. Model, singer seeks a real man not a young boy''

[@obs4281]

Yeah, nah. Not even remotely funny

[@MisterMike101]

@@obs4281 dont be a pussy

[@masere]

Preferably black?

[@Red-zp2ni]

James places his hands like he's cradling a baby

[@Beckford4000]

Kerry Godliman, always brilliant and on point. (can't stand James Acaster).

[@iluvhopndballet]

There's something about James Acaster which irritates me to no end!

[@HORSEPRISON]

What, how dashing he is?

[@hazeltree7738]

Probably the deliberate awkwardness of his speech sometimes, his accent is sort of... Indescribable. There's no clear place I could pin it to.

[@Dynasty1818]

Ones that contain the truth.

[@jaggass]

Elderly man 93 seeks woman who's a similar age so we can watch afternoon repeats of Countdown everyday and moan about things''

[@romanxxxxyoutube]

Swipe left... If you wanna complete my semi

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Me: male. You: female (preferably).

[@nigelnyoni8265]

Well I haven't got time for this

[@stormincharger7151]

Is that the singing dentist?

[@ronnyshama]

Hopefully i can find a lady by the name of "Fingers" I'm looking for someone i can count on

[@ianhill4585]

Once you've had a ginger. You'll never be a whinger.

[@nineten3645]

Short man looking for wonder woman

[@romanxxxxyoutube]

Average woman in mid thirties looking for a man who's willing to share most of his money for a short term relationship

[@TB__-]

Why does hugh look like post-crash and burn Conor McGregor?

[@Ryanmanification]

"once you go asian, you never go caucasian"Good one

[@eggspress8043]

Ryanmanification i don't understand?

[@feelgood2994]

eggspress It’s akin to the saying ‘once you go black you’ll never go back’. Once you go Asian, you never go Caucasian means once you date an Asian man you won’t go back to dating white-skinned European men.

[@Ryanmanification]

Or if you fed up with coloured skinned people, there's an other saying: "once you go white, you know you did right"

[@UsmanKhan-gg6fi]

Mock the Week is so bad since Frankie Boyle left

[@haza6893]

I think Dara finds James funny.. not tooo sure

[@andrewfenn3019]

Single silent male seeks single female for [The following is said silently] a long term relationship. Must love pets, children and plan on starting a family in the future. Enquiry within.

[@djsnowpdx]

Man loves iPhones. Seeks available iPhone 11 Pro Max. Potentially seeking three-way with iPhone + other fanboy ...wherein they say some sh*t like "oh my god! is that the iPhone 11 Pro Max?" And together, we engrave the words, "Lasts up to 5 hours longer than iPhone XS Max" on a nearby unfortunate statue, right above its pelvic region.

[@alexandradelliou]

2020: 3864

[@adamundaneedge2472]

Im ded

[@MimMdance]

Once you go asian you never go caucasian. xD

[@OQR_TC]

Hugh carrying the show per usual

[@finnhoward8446]

Who Is the Irish guy with long hair

[@davimurph]

Ed Byrne

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

Fun fact: "Asian" and "Caucasian" don't rhyme.

[@frankhooper7871]

Don't know how *you* pronounce them, but they rhyme when I do.

[@gwishart]

They do in English. Perhaps they don't in whatever bastardised dialect you grunt in your mud hut.

[@aneesniazi7918]

BRING BACK FRANKIE, ANDY AND RUSSELL !!!!

[@glory3243]

Who else clicked because they thought it was keemstar in the thumbnail

[@thundercocgod9463]

2st

[@Dynasty1818]

Unlikely dating in general - women responding to messages on line dating websites, as they have too high standards.

[@finehomemadewine]

If they had low standards they would be already married...

[@Michelle_Schu-blacka]

Always hating on vegans. 😡

[@Tjalve70]

Of course. What else is there to do with them?

[@emordnilap4747]

I find it funny in the context of a dating service. Little known fact, vegans have better sex. Either partner alone being a vegan will improve things in bed(I'm just speaking of heterosexual relationships, just for simplification). This is because the diet makes blood flow easier, which is how Viagra works. So vegan men can get it up easier, and last longer, and women climax faster. Considering it takes the average man 5 minutes, and the average woman 15 minutes to reach orgasm, either one is very helpful.

[@davidedwards3361]

Someone should tell James Acaster that being a comedian means you should be able to be funny. This is the area he misses out on.

[@pocketman5510]

This sucks

[@pocketman5510]

DjangoFett they are all just cheap puns. Look at the classic ones with Frankie and Andy they are MILES better

[@SamarIqbal1-2-1]

Pocket Man 👏

[@YOYO-mx6ie]

Time for MTW to pack up. Last few shows have been embarrassing, just awful to the max. Not funny un the least, they bring these new unknown faces Who are awful. This show should have ended the day Frankie boyle walked. He had common sense

[@Dajave11]

it's just not funny...

[@ralbenem1085]

Dajave11 Hasn't been for a long time unfortunately. I think it's down to a lot of the newer comics.

[@vileguile4]

Are you guys depressed..? :/

[@ralbenem1085]

Sleepydog Yes...Hug me.

[@jamieluke8386]

Ffs leave politics out of comedy it's cringe.

[@Tyler-qy6cr]

If you like this, maybe you need WW3 to straighten you out

[@charleymccreadie6419]

james acaster is the best