Beast Battle Simulator - The World Cup

Beast Battle Simulator returns, as we attempt to answer the ultimate question - which continent and/or time-period's animals are best at football...
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Fanfare for Space, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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[@The8347135]

Breaking! PSG has offered £180 million for Pterodactyl

[@gaminreasons8941]

Truly an amazing player.

[@AJ-we6if]

He's so quick, he practically flies around the pitch!

[@cameronmiles7169]

Kristian Wilkins You are an amazing human being.

[@pepsiipep7842]

I think the seagull will still want to take the penalties though.

[@crickett3536]

MVP= Most Valuable Pterodon

[@gonvillebromhead2865]

...crocodiles live in Australia...hence "Crocodile Dundee"...

[@ZefVolk]

Dundee is in Scotland though.

[@gonvillebromhead2865]

Especially as Komodo Dragon's live in Indonesia

[@alyxparker4410]

Gonville Bromhead There's my daily knowledge for the day

[@TheRealLachlan]

where do you think all the white people that live in aus came from?

[@cameronmiles7169]

ootypooty Narnia?

[@sirunknown2142]

This. This is why I watch this channel. Just because you're so insane Jon. Seriously Jon.

[@Macantor13]

Crocodiles live in Australia. Komodo dragons live in Indonesia. How could you forget Steve Irwin so easily.

[@abyssstrider2547]

Just import them to the south. what can go wrong?

[@PeanutxSoup]

nile crocodiles

[@ModernWhoFan5B]

Compy's, or Procompsognathus Triassicus, were small, Triassic dinosaurs, thought to have been primarily scavengers. They are only about a meter tall, weighed about a kilogram, and lived in what is now Germany. They featured somewhat prominently in Michael Crichton's novel, Jurassic Park, and in the later films. The more you know!

[@gramursowanfaborden5820]

A kilogram? a bag of sugar? they have to weigh more than that if they're a metre tall, an adult chicken can weigh anywhere between 800 grams and 5 kilos and they're less than half that height.

[@ModernWhoFan5B]

I made a mistake. They're around a meter long, not tall. Also, chickens have substantially more meat on them, because of domestication.

[@gramursowanfaborden5820]

ah yeah that makes much more sense. i know chickens have a lot of meat for their size, so i'll use the better example of a Mallard Duck, relatively skinny and weighs between 700 grams and 1.6 kilos, that stretched out ver a metre length i can imagine, bit not a metre height.

[@mercerfries108]

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[@danielpetersen8360]

What's Europe doing, sending the Daschunds on that early?

[@ManyATrueNerd]

These are my favourite comments :)

[@Steve_A93]

Thing about Europe is, they always try to walk it in

[@Ben-nk3cx]

I've forgotten the exact quotes, but in case anyone doesn't know, these quotes are from the IT crowd

[@dainironhill306]

West.... haam?

[@tamathemaid7171]

What hurts as a Australian is the fact that Jon thinks we have Komodo Dragons but not Crocodiles and then continues to use Crocodiles to replace said Komodo Dragons, even though he just got it right just then.

[@fallenangel8X]

I would like to point out that America was the only one at a major disadvantage. Looks like someone fixed the soccer game.

[@MWSin1]

Needs moose.

[@stephenbanks9543]

fallenangel8X We lost to Trinidad, I’m not sure how much of it was a disadvantage and how much of it was America being absolutely rubbish at football

[@moedwarfort]

XCaliber soccer

[@stephenbanks9543]

tuna can sam football

[@oneofmanyjames-es1643]

Jon is going to spectate dino football, I'm pterofied.

[@AJ-we6if]

Bob Boblington A pun worthy of the mighty Jon?

[@ManyATrueNerd]

5 MATN Points

[@zhongliangcai602]

69th like XD

[@officialteaincorporated243]

@@ManyATrueNerd That's Pterific

[@Brinsomnia]

Jon. Jon. Jon. We need a Bear Vs. Bull match.

[@pizzapielemon]

Checkpoint Chronicles only to have it be a victory for the robots

[@donashcroft93]

Thomas Zwaanswijk man after my own heart right here

[@Vagabuns12]

The Pterodactyl deserves play of the game with that save.

[@Globox2004]

Goalkeeper in europe's team wasn't in the middle and couldn't defend properly ;_;

[@jokermaness]

Australia also had the money advantge

[@personwowgames]

I need more of this... Jon is great at being an announcer for things like this, loved the video

[@TheeArbiterGaming]

ANIMAL WORLD CUP IM SO UP FOR THIS! GO JON THIS IS WHY YOU'RE THE BEST

[@spider_spren]

...If football was commentated by Jon I would never watch anything else

[@drake8050]

The Pterodactyl's social activities are a media nightmare, but he's so damn talented

[@HeartlandHunny]

I think my favorite part was Jon explaining why each animal was on the team. “I know they’re really hyenas but let’s pretend they’re coyotes.” Also, I know you’ve commented on how the way we pronounce coyote doesn’t make sense. The reason it’s noy pronounced like coy is because the name was originally a Spanish-Aztec word “cayjotte,” which was also sometimes spelled “cocyotie” back before people started spelling things consistently. Once spelling was standardized, the O at the beginning of the word stuck, so we got the spelling coyote, but the pronunciation continued to be KAYE-oh-tee. So the pronunciation is correct, but the spelling is wrong.

[@HeartlandHunny]

But by all means pronounce it however you like. I just think linguistics is fascinating and thought I’d share.

[@gramursowanfaborden5820]

what about Arkansas? that one bothers me.

[@minscandboo9749]

I'm betting on the miniature giant space hamsters! *Cheering squeak!*

[@excusethesanity]

American's gonna be like "I've got a Megasaur somewhere in my ancestry. I don't care that America lost to them."

[@kabobawsome]

Bill's Brother That match did irk me, though. It was really heavily weighted against the Americas.

[@MrMcDittles]

Big dinos OP, pls nerf.

[@tac6557]

Better than the IRL One

[@danielpetersen8360]

A compy is a compsognathus.

[@viper313]

Action packed commentary! Made up for the lack luster hustle on the pitch.

[@vicentefernandez9084]

Jon: "And now for Team Australia, it's the Komodo Dragons (well they're Crocodiles but let's just pretend they're not)" Crocs, who live in Australia instead of Komodo Dragons: "OOOOH SO IT'S KOMODO DRAGON FLIPPING DUNDEE, NOW IS IT JON?"

[@graybeardgaming414]

"The T-rex just walked straight through America " wonder if he ever thought that combination of words would ever come out of his mouth...

[@macquarrie3230]

Jon crocodiles live in Australia

[@childrenofcod5866]

as soon as that pterodactyl flew out of that carcass and just headbutted that ball into the goal, the eye of the tiger just automatically went off in my head, and i suffered a massive seizure from a sudden rush of endorphin flooding my brain

[@BADCompanySarge]

ARCTIC UNION!!!!!

[@ElAzul57]

Australia match was Rigged!! Ghost goal and useless donkey missing on purpose. How much did they pay you jon? 💵💵💵💵

[@gristlebee3726]

carlos martinez They gave him leeks and coasters. Every man has his price.

[@bengwa7]

He was looked after. Go Australia!

[@scoutobrien3406]

I really shouldn't be so loud with the helpless giggles this late at night

[@sirunknown2142]

Aren't crocodiles in Australia?

[@jarradscarborough7915]

yup. saltwater crocs. just lucky there was no water on the field or we would have fielded sharks too. game over...

[@GHST-ZR0]

Yes

[@Sunthaz]

Jarrad Scarborough Yup, our animals have nothing on yours, Australian fauna is scary. In that regard this was pretty accurate.

[@jacobbrewer2190]

Yes and some of the biggest

[@liamsavine7954]

I like to think Claire can hear you while you're filming so she can hear things like "the t-rex just walked through America"

[@MartynWilkinson45]

Please stop calling the Aussie crocs Komodo dragons. They didn't make a movie called komodo dragon dundee, nor did Steve Irwin make a career wrestling dragons. Australia has many, many crocodiles.

[@mosisusasu9205]

Steve Irwin did actually wrestle Komodo Dragons too at times.

[@PenOverSword]

I'm disappointed in the lack of giraffes. That is all.

[@needkolas]

that banger from the hippo though, goal of the tournament

[@variousnumber891]

Shame the Asian union couldn't attend this year, although that nasty court case their star Gorilla was embroiled in will do that. Honestly, the Death Penalty in this day and age? Although, I can see why... He did indeed present a clear and obvious danger to that poor spectator who fell onto the pitch.

[@jharms984]

This was some of the funniest s*** I've seen in ages. I love this video

[@xhotl-1599]

I actually cheered when that pterodactyl got free and scored This is way more hype than it should be

[@nicholaspeterman9111]

"Ball-seeking missiles" - MATN 2017

[@stewhv94]

The T-Rex is technically an American animal so I'm ok with that haha (I was actually rooting for the Dinosaurs anyway)

[@ryttyr14]

The compy as the game calls them are Compsognathus. They were turkey-sized, lizard eating carnivores who lived during the Tithonian age in the late Jurassic period on the land mass that would eventually become Europe.

[@Wyzecat]

"World cup" There's no Asian team

[@ZefVolk]

Asia isn't real. Like Narnia and New Zealand.

[@Phrinn]

It is what Zealand will become in 1000 years

[@excusethesanity]

Been to New Zealand. Can confirm, was not there.

[@charlestaverniti7783]

Might very well be the most Entertaining Animal Soccer/futbol ive ever watched

[@reginadea2821]

This is more entertaining than it has any right to be.

[@BlazinBlz]

as an Australian I am deeply offended by the fact that you don't know that Australia has crocs but not komodo dragons, the komodos are Indonesia and PNG, Australia is basically the home to the crocodiles since it's mostly gators in other places

[@bobrudolph5161]

Your best work yet Jon.

[@joej8458]

Compys are turkey-sized dinosaurs that probably ate smaller vertebrates. They were actually in the second "Jurassic Park" movie (they killed Peter Storomare when he was going to the bathroom if memory serves).

[@chyntiaprawira7608]

I love these kinds of games

[@zanthe_]

Jon I don't think you know Australia very well.

[@dragmire3D]

Ball seeking missiles sound painful...

[@joshvinson1237]

Australian salt water crocodiles are the biggest crocs in the world, bigger than African crocs because there aren't any hippos to keep them in check. Definitely Australia has more crocodiles than Komodo dragons

[@ilo3456]

Fun Fact: There is actually a defensive weapons system called Goalkeeper, it is a minigun anti aircraft and anti missile defense weapon

[@Phdpepperman]

This needs to be a livestream.

[@FredSpade]

That's an instant classic MATN video. Up there with his Fallout 3 stuff & whatever.

[@SnackGodd]

why isn't this on tv, i don't like sports but i would watch this anytime

[@elliottchaplin2903]

The thing about the t-rex is he always tries to walk it in

[@theintrovert2654]

Good call on the hippos! Newer research does suggest that they're less herbivorous than previously believed.

[@lpetersen2013]

Literally the best futball I've ever seen.

[@ZumbaMarx]

I support the Arctic Union, I even bought a shirt of my favourite penguin footballer: Chris Waddle

[@rumblebird9888]

11:10 That Pterodactyl was clutch

[@michaelswitzer2121]

I'm not going to lie I'm giving this a thumbs up before I even watch

[@user-sr6hm2dh5c]

11:12 goal of the tournemant

[@AcidWashed_Genes]

This is a million times more entertaining than it has any right to be! Excellent work Jon!

[@HeartlandHunny]

When this popped up in my feed, it made me so happy. I was not disappointed! cant wait to see who wins!

[@kerowolfe]

T-Rex needs to be tested for performance enhancement drugs. Also they only won because of the double budget! /salty Murican

[@valentinoferrari9493]

This is just what I need :)

[@australisplays7615]

I believe Compys where the Dinosaurs that killed Newman (Seinfeld reference) in Jurasic Park 1

[@h3llin364]

it's weird how entertaining this was... gg jon.

[@yegods317]

This is surprisingly entertaining! Good commentary

[@Vonias]

Woo! This is way more exciting than it has any right to be.

[@ladyoftheworlds]

The Arctic are the underdogs we need

[@gramursowanfaborden5820]

missed chance to call the Dinosaur continents Big Pangaea and Little Pangaea

[@rossjames8839]

... We have a ton of crocodiles. We have few komodo dragons.

[@jooko91]

Go seagulls! I'm so glad the Beast Bowl returned.

[@neutronium9542]

Australia has giant terrifying saltwater crocodiles, Komodo dragons are from a few Pacific islands.

[@LargeLeonard]

I don't have the time to watch many videos, but I'm glad I watched this one! It was seriously hilarious.

[@Jean-R]

Jon you would make an excellent football pundit

[@Dardlem]

Wow, now I want Animal Football Simulator.

[@awordabout...3061]

"We've seen some proper good football here today." I'm going to have to beg to differ on that one.

[@techoutletgear866]

Love watching this game

[@Kaiimei]

I want another of these next year, this was goddamn incredible to watch.

[@dragmire3D]

This content makes me happy on a very fundamental level.

[@nickleppek8211]

This is an amazing series! I can't wait for the rest. Keep it up Jon!

[@grzegorzs1814]

Well... Best game I've seen for a long time

[@iknowme]

Go Antarctica. I thought the polar bears were pretty useless but one of them offered a good assist at the end there for the seagull.

[@teamfossil6312]

Compys are tiny Dino's that ate Hammond in the Jurassic Park book or some hunters in the second movie

[@HackionSTx]

This is one of the best videos I've ever seen on KZbin.

[@GHST-ZR0]

U were right the first time with the crocks John XD

[@Captainoob]

The Crocodiles make more sense in Australia team then Comodo dragons. Salt water crocs are deadly

[@awmperry]

“It wouldn’t be the Arctic Union without penguins.” Er.... *literally* the opposite of Arctic.

[@awmperry]

(Actually literally in this case - it’s in the name...)

[@RainMakeR_Workshop]

Donkeys are from Egypt and West Asia. Komodo Dragons are Indonesian and Australia DO have Crocodiles.

[@kazoospew3639]

The only football game I’ve watched in my life

[@evangraham7719]

There are truly no rules in the Many A True Football Federation (MATFF)

[@BrutalFates]

There are Polar Bears in America... and seagulls (they are everywhere but the Arctic) America has both Crocodiles and Alligators. America is big and covers a lot of different Biomes. Australia has penguins, and crocs and alligators also, and um the Arctic does not have penguins. What am I saying this is enjoyment and MADNESS!

[@devinm_5711]

U make amazing vids

[@md34411]

Seeing these formations makes me wish for a return of Football Manager.

[@kulaniwirtu7299]

Amazing commentary

[@poogmaster1]

I love how Jon says coyote

[@robertdougherty349]

That Pterodactyl is on the juice. Is there a Beast Battle Doping Authority Simulator yet ?

[@nameless9029]

I did something like this but instead of a random number generator I made a giant game show like wheel 😀

[@radrush_mx957]

Love how all the Australian team is actually Australian

[@littlemikey46]

Komodo Dragons come from the Island of Komodo, which is in Indonesia, so close enough to Australia. But we do have Crocodiles xD

[@hannahalice1000]

I'm so confused. Were those emus represented by kangaroos, or kangaroos represented by kangaroos?