Become a Better Dater with Alison Armstrong

Alison Armstrong is the world's leading authority on "Understanding Men" she has dedicated over thirty years to the psychology of men “To find out how I was bringing out the worst in them. And hopefully, how to bring out the best.” Her success in understanding men naturally led to studying women’s behavior and making vital connections between the two.
In this conversation, Alison and I delve into how men think, value systems, and how to date effectively during covid.
I loved every minute of this interview be sure to find Alison and her work below:
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[@vivianvennicia]

Alison is so impactful. The first time I listened to her she opened my eyes and this talk is the same. She is so awesome.

[@happyinapa]

Alison’s courses literally changed my life. I wish every woman, regardless of age, would take her courses. It would truly change the world and open deep, loving connection between partners. I was also a chronic, unconscious frog farmer. At 66 I now have a spectacular King and our marriage is strong and joyful. He feels like the luckiest guy in the world. And I know I am a lucky woman. I kid you not--my girlfriends marvel at how strong and healthy our marriage is….and I owe it to Allison’s brilliant, insightful work.

[@robintaylor1490]

Thank you from all of us men, for taking such a big step. I'm sure you tell everyone, please don't stop.

[@happyinapa]

Oh I won't! It saddens me how often I see women unwittingly hurt, judge and treat men like "misbehaving women" --as diplomatc and clear as I can I explain to them how/why that is the biggest mistake she makes -- and how she creates her own frustration b/c of it. I've had many friends comment on the happiness/strength they see in our marriage -- I always say "take Allison's courses and you will enjoy the same!!" (-:@@robintaylor1490

[@goldengrace2833]

Amazing how you just encouraged her to keep speaking and now we have all this pure gold advice.

[@matthewnugent9430]

Wow - Thank you. My coach told me to search Alison, thanks for posting on KZbin!

[@ml3989]

One of the best interviews I’ve heard with Alison. Nicely done, Candice. So brilliant!😍

[@CandiceMama1]

Thank you so much ML :) Sending my love

[@smrithisundararajan6671]

Omg!!!! Alison I am so so in Awe of you Maam 🥰🤩😍what articulation and you break it down for every women so clearly!!!!! Just speaks every girls mind out and blow it...Thank you Candice for being a great host and bringing this great conversation out so candidly 😍

[@CandiceMama1]

Thank you so much for your beautiful comment Smrithi, I appreciate you! x C

[@maria.1313]

So much wisdom, beauty and delight in this episode. Thank you so much! 🤍

[@citizenofthe5thdimension323]

You are an amazing interviewer! You give space but remain engaded. Love it!

[@Tarolyn17]

Beautiful interview and interviewer! I love the connection and joy apparent in this conversation! ❤️

[@CandiceMama1]

Glad you enjoyed it!thank you ❤

[@joycelynnebills1787]

This was truly wonderful and I do appreciate her incredible knowledge and wisdom. I am sharing this with my sons. I was slightly taken back by the Trump dig, cause I loved 45, but I got over it.

[@jasminewhatchawaitingfor]

Thank you for this, I'm feeling resistance to online dating, but this advice is priceless

[@CandiceMama1]

You got this! Thank you ❤

[@raularmas317]

I started out with tears and a painful story bc that's all I had. I had been abused by partners to that point in time by women since I am a hetero- man as a place to offload or vent complaints about boyfriends or husbands who were not measuring up to the standards of the women I was being ab(used) by. I never asked for or consciously agreed to being ab(used) in this way. Nothing of substance in the way of healing relationships is ever achieved by venting to 3rd parties in this manner with the possible exception of a trained counselor or therapist like Alison Armstrong and even she will likely tell you that confrontation with a partner who has acted as a catalytist to bring up issues for a woman needs to be spoken to directly at some point. Deflecting/avoiding discussion about troublesome issues gets nobody anywhere.

[@raularmas317]

I think Ms Armstrong is a day late and a dollar short when it comes to women instructing men on how to cherish and love them. Most women have the expectancy I must come fully trained/pre-qualified to do what she suggests at 18.17 of the video before men ever speak to women. But, if there were never any responsibe adults around to show/tell me how to do these things like how to properly cherish a woman that kind of first-hand knowledge and experience doesn't just manifest out of thin air.

[@suzy1750]

Great interviewer...

[@raularmas317]

Don't put words in my mouth Ms Armstrong. I never wanted to belittle or control my Mom as she had once belittled and controlled or dominated me. It is true, I wanted to run away from her as a child but her whole "defensively offensive" vibe kept me impotent and paralyzed. She practically and psychologically brow-beat any sense of ambition or desire to explore what life had to offer me out of me. In short, I was her passive/compliant son/drone. And other women have been repelled by the consequences of my Mom's codependent and Emotionally abusive Parenting ever since. Thus, the most likely explanation for the creation of an informal organization like MGTOW. The chance to "run away" to a private space where men can affirm, teach, and begin to heal each other Emotionally/Spiritually and heal and grow those parts of each other that have atrophied bc of your kind of fear-based mindset that you must be in control at all times. Let me tell you, Ms Armstrong in order for a Son to begin to behave as an honorable adult man of honesty and integrity he must be given permission by an adult male he can trust and respect. But, to date I have yet to find such a male suggesting to me that women's tendency to demand total control all the time is to do it covertly now.

[@schahrzadmorgan]

It's fabulous that you're doing the work w male mentors. Would you mind sharing some resources that are helpful?

[@kadd4415]

Agree. Male roles in honesty and integrity is so important to boys and girls as they develop emotionally.

[@kayyy.beeeee6173]

I took Alison’s course and it also changed my life on how I treat men. I want to be worthy of a king

[@TheAttractionTriggers]

*We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh.*

[@angelaonthego]

Play at 1.25x speed. You’re welcome.

[@kevinholdren5284]

Thank you!

[@evat2945]

Thank you for this beautiful interview ! What about those men who beat, and rape, etc, though ? Each time she says « men love... », « men are... » i’m like ‘’wooow, so happy to learn that !! They’re actually so cute!!’’ But then my brain remembers those other men. Aren’t they men too ? Or maybe they’re ‘boys’ and not men? Or maybe this only applies to one type of men? If someone’s been raped by douzens of men in childhood for example, what does « men » mean here ? Or maybe, again, she doesn’t mention it but she is only talking about one « type » of men and not another? Thank you!

[@cutiepie8709ify]

I love Alison so much! Her work transformed my relationships with men. Thank you so much for this great interview!!!❤️❤️❤️

[@CandiceMama1]

Such a pleasure Erica, I love her too. Thank you for your comment. Sending you my love

[@cutiepie8709ify]

@@CandiceMama1 thank you for taking the time to respond 😊

[@dweamy1]

Huge gems of wisdom dropped in this interview! Thank you!

[@mexguyana]

Thank you. "If you're going to run. run now." Be receptive, passionate, authentic and self-confident. See the beauty in men. May I add, South Africa a story to be told in all its rawness, pain and love. Jan.7. 2022. Canada.

[@grazyfreedom4900]

Hi Candice, hope ur all well. I follow you on ur instagram and subscribed you here on ur KZbin channel as well. Great to watch and here this today...brilliant content...stay safe and God Bless u always.❤️❤️❤️

[@CandiceMama1]

Aw I appreciate you Grazy - thank you!!!! Sending you much love.x

[@medox1393]

Leading with your negative traits is very bad dating advice to attract a good partner. To put it simply, "No one wants a partner who takes off their smelly shoes and puts their dirty smelly feet on the table and then lets out a big fart when the date has nothing to go off of other than what they just saw". It also is not good in terms of ones self respect. You are basically calling yourself a piece of garbage before you even showed anything of quality about yourself. You would end up attracting a person who might want to fix you, likes that you have low self respect and other things. The new person does not know the stuff you know about yourself. It is a very poor way of filtering out people. I've experimented a ton with finding the right partner and have tried this and you know what in modern dating for people of my generation certainly it does not work in most cases. People are attracted to people who put effort into the relationship and the conversation. Women definitely want someone intelligent enough to figure out the tiny details of what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to talk about when first getting to know someone in such a fine way that I have lost great dates simply for expanding on the science of something they are interested in before they really know me. That has ruined so many dates for me despite these being extremely knowledge hungry women. A lot of dating is being the right template for that person to project a fantasy onto you, that is what is happening when we fall in love.

[@dandeecas4899]

This was very informative...very much enjoy Allison. Thank you for sharing your research.

[@Aliasalliance369]

But you are talking about men from a specific era. From a specific time and western hemisphere where women grew already out of because of certain political circumstances. But I know too many men who already are able to understand women very very well and without treating them as a completely different species or like 3 year olds. I’m sorry but there is definitely a lot Not ok where we shouldn’t try to press ourselves in by believing that it is ok to have not a natural flow with each other that’s already ok and that is based on clear communication without victimizing each other. It’s so basic that it is not about men and women but a general thing where less pain is expected because of a deep connection. But when a love connection is the only connection where we feel deeply connected (platonically) then we yearn for that so deeply that we forget that we can communicate just relaxed without having the feeling of doing something wrong. That’s the true core of all there relationship gambles. If I try to say everything like you say I am not me. It won’t work. If both sides are open nothing can go wrong. That’s all. If I have to teach a person how to treat me then I am dealing with a very stupid person according to me and I will suffer because as your already mentioned, you can’t change a person. Especially not in their intellect. But I also want to appreciate the love and dedication you are spreading with your work.

[@alexismarquez3674]

I LEARNED ABOUT ALLISON ARMSTRONG WHEN I WAS STILL DOING MY FURTHER STUDIES IN ATENEO DE ZAMBOANGA UNIVERSITY, ZAMBOANGA CITY :)

[@meetmeundertherose]

Thank you for facilitating this wonderful conversation, Candice! Tears welled on multiple occasions and I know that's a sign that transformation is happening within the heart

[@nicholasneaves]

Loved this guys!! Let’s get her here from Nic in Mosselbay

[@CandiceMama1]

I agree Nic, she needs to head to South Africa.x

[@tomb2574]

The sexiest thing that a woman can wear on a date with a man. A plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans.what that does for a man is it tells him that she is not trying to “peacock”, it means she is coming into a possible relationship honestly and not giving us her best possible lie.

[@CandiceMama1]

I love your feedback Tom thank you

[@JeffCaplan313]

I concur. The less makeup, the better. Makeup is deception and I'm looking for an "honest" woman. Doesn't meant she can't/shouldn't wear it...it's just so much better to start a relationship based on honesty and authenticity.

[@CandiceMama1]

@@JeffCaplan313 Thank you for your comment Jeff

[@Alphacentauri819]

Interesting narratives. Many women were taught that being a woman includes some pretty crazy requirements. It’s too hard to generalize a woman as being “dishonest” when she dresses up, or wears make up. Every woman is different too. While it’s easier, cognitively, to categorize...and it makes things feel more simple and less uncertain, it’s not always the truth. Some women might be disguising who they are...but that’s rarely the case. Sometimes it’s a case of repeated social pressures. Many times, her parents are a big influence too. If her mom is big into makeup...she might follow suit, or rebel. Same about her dad, she’ll take that conditioning and go either way. To apply meaning about others behaviors can be very limiting and almost god-complex like. It’s like someone believing that a guy who rides a motorcycle is a cocky, arrogant, unaware human. A lot of loaded assumptions. Could be wrong. Also, what does it for one man doesn’t work for all. Most men do seem to prefer simplicity and natural..but many variations within that context. Unfortunate the billion dollar make up industry, and all other products to make a woman...more beautiful, appealing, worthy (that’s the lie that is being sold)...is powerful. The women I know, who have woken up to society’s lie, generally really like themselves more, are pretty picky about men...since they realize their worth isn’t dependent on anything outside of their own self relationship. Definitely helps them to be confident, self-assured, able to communicate needs and boundaries...and they have no trouble leaving if the relationship isn’t a good one. They won’t hang on!

[@carissa8487]

Imagine that a woman wore make-up because SHE liked to and doing so made her feel good about herself. A man should be attracted to a woman for who she is, not for how much make up she wears or doesnt wear or by how she chooses to dress. If you aren't attracted to women who wear 'too much' make-up, then don't date these women. Stop putting your expectations out there of what you like or don't like, no woman should change herself in order to feel attractive to men

[@danielaion2457]

Covid was real relationships and emotional connection - that’s how it happened for me

[@krickenthekraken8844]

Wow ladies! That was a fantastic interview, I learned so much!

[@syreetarodriguez9539]

Dynamic interview

[@otiliamartins7310]

Very good!!! Thank you both. Love you.

[@vivianvennicia]

I love this.

[@svartvist]

"You're special." "You might be the unicorn." "Don't scare them away." Hunter instinct. How men bring home the prize that provides. SOME men don't read the dating app profile. For me, that would be the second thing I did after choosing the "look." What I would want to know is "How does this woman present herself?" "Does she touch upon ideological or emotional issues?" "Does she portray the self-confidence men want to see, or the feminist meme about how great she is?" 30 seconds is generally how long it takes a man to answer these questions. If the conclusion is indeterminate, reading her aura, demeanor, and/or posture in person decides the question.

[@alexismarquez3674]

I GENUINELY WANT TO THANK FLORENTINO S. SUSALO III FOR COURTING ME IN ZAMBOANGA CITY MEDICAL CENTER WARD-2 NEUROLOGICAL-ORTHOPEDIC ZAMBOANGA CITY :) HE LOVES ME BECAUSE I'M A HARDWORKING PERSON ❤️ I'M NATURALLY NICE LIKE TITA BETTINA LARAZZABAL VELOSO :) I'M HONEST ❤️

[@alexismarquez3674]

WHEN MYLEY CYRUS AND LIAM HEMSWORTH GOT ENGAGED. FLORENTINO S. SUSALO III COURTED ME IN ZAMBOANGA CITY MEDICAL CENTER WARD-2 NEUROLOGICAL-ORTHOPEDIC ZAMBOANGA CITY :)

[@paulchristopherriley7503]

I have been praying to the Godess for a long time. and I have to say Thank you i can push back and breath

[@keepcreationprocess]

Love you Candice......

[@theingridaria]

Fascinating, brilliant, so necessary to understand & apply.

[@otheliagroenewald654]

Lovely interview, please have her back 🙏🏽

[@AvivaSingsOut]

I love how Alison's conversations are so giggly and I love your eyes Candice - magical xoxoxoxo

[@CandiceMama1]

Thank you Aviva.x

[@jimosborne2]

What a pleasure to listen to these joyful, intelligent, radiant women. My god, where are women like you two hiding? I have been looking and waiting so long. lol. But feel so optimistic. If I go back to a dating app, how do I say Come be my Queen?

[@SamStone1964]

Be extremely discerning!

[@VictoriaOliveira-t1m]

This video is the most amazing video in life thanks God, thanks Allison thanks Candace! ❤❤❤

[@CandiceMama1]

Such a pleasure so happy you enjoyed it ❤️

[@brendagordon4977]

Great interview with so much fantastic content and Candace you are such a beautiful interviewer who just vibrates such grace

[@CandiceMama1]

Thank you for such a kind compliment Brenda. So appreciated ❤️

[@cherithr9139]

❤️

[@CandiceMama1]

Hugs.x

[@raularmas317]

The phrase "Bad men" is an ad hominem attack to man's ego and healthy sense of self-efficacy. There are no "bad people" only people who do "bad" things or relatively "good" things.

[@russneese1004]

You a Lib Alison?

[@joycelynnebills1787]

You had me up until you made a unnecessary comment about DJT.

[@SamStone1964]

Yes the unnecessary politics spoils otherwise inspiring information.

[@hoobeydoobey1267]

Read Ecc 10:2 and Is 5:20. They paint an accurate picture. It's not politics but an IQ thing due to narcissism.

[@hoobeydoobey1267]

Glad she came to realize men weren't engaged in misogyny, but that women are engaged in misandry. It's a Genesis 3, Is 5:20 thing.