Behind the Scenes of a First Responder Wife: Life as a Firefighter, Impact on Family & How to Be One

[@virginiadefrance2427]

As a fellow fire wife, this resonated with me so much! And you don’t understand unless you’re a first responder’s spouse. My husband works a 24 on 48 off. So he’s gone 3-4 days a week, on top of working part time at another station. Thank you guys for having this conversation!

[@leahkillgore7828]

Thank you Kat & Keloni for finding the time to share your experience with first responder life. This segment resonated with me so much. I am a police wife(yes spouses serve too) and after 8 years of service there are still days where I struggle and have moments of defeat. This life of service is not easy. Everything you guys touched on was right on point! I did chuckle at the mention of things going wrong when your first responder spouse leaves for their shift lol. I don’t know what it is either! Thanks for keeping it real. 💙 ❤

[@KatKamalani]

It is so hard!! Thank you for listening. 💓

[@DatFishGal]

Growing up, I heard stories of my grandfather driving the firetrucks to the scenes and working an honest living to try and feed eight mouths, my dad being one of them. He worked odd side jobs during his off days to try and help make ends meet because my grandma was a stay at home wife. Now, years later I started dating a firefighter a little over a year and a half ago. I feel your pain of having to deal with the separation and I understand a little bit more about the struggles my grandma had to face. There are times my boyfriend is on a 17 hour shift and will have to be back into work at least 8 or 10 hours later. Sometimes even sooner than that. I learned very quickly that the job is first, family is second. There have been days we meet up after days of being apart and we only see each other for five minutes because he's on call and has to run back to the station to take care of whatever call has gone into his station. It's so tough but I know deep down that it'll be worth it in the end. Thank you for sharing your experience and in a way giving me advice on what I can expect for the future.

[@troybroadaway5682]

As a firefighter I feel guilt for my wife having to essentially be a single mother a third of our lives. It is tough to miss events and the hardest is not being home during hurricanes for multiple days. On the plus side I am more available to do field trips with the kids.

[@oliviaaponte5729]

My husband is 6 mo into being a FF/PM and we have a 5 month old baby. It has been such a hard transition. This video helps me not feel so alone. Thank you

[@darlenemichele7195]

❤my dad was a firefighter for 20 yrs...I remeber gathering at the watching news to see if we could see dad. We took turns sleeping with mom when dad was on duty. He was 3 off 1 on. And he had landscaping job and other business while being a firefighter. Thank you both for sharing this❤❤❤❤blessings on blessings

[@MsMartinTheCeo]

3 months in dating a station fire cheif in the military and I’m a damn mess and I needed this. I be missing him so much

[@Happinessisanillusion]

You have to do what works for your family. My late best friends husband is a EMS/FF and she was a stay at home mom. This was years before KZbin, Facebook etc. He made enough to where she didn’t have to work. The main reason why is because his house was paid off, the cars and truck was paid off and she was retired from the Air Force so that worked for her family.

[@HawaiiFoodAndFun]

Thank you both for your dedication, time and commitment to the community, to the Aina and to cultivating the growth of your own ohana.

[@KatKamalani]

Thank you!🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@kaylaluopa1073]

As a pilot wife, I really relate to this. We don’t have kids yet but know that it’s is going to be really hard navigating. My husband is gone 3-4 days of the week with 2-3 days off, rarely being home for special occasions/holidays, it’s tough when your spouse is gone. I really enjoy your podcast!

[@KatKamalani]

It is hard to navigate but you figure out what works best for you guys. You got this!💓

[@cccyyyvvv]

Thank you for sharing your journey. I have never felt so aligned with someone's journey as I do with yours. I am an ex flight attendant now a full time mom to two beautiful girls 1 and 3. My husband is in his first year as a police officer. I gave up flight attendant when my husband and I got engaged. My heart was still about the sky life but unfortunately I had to take an alternative route. Going into our second year of marriage, I gave birth to our first child in 2020. We loved our first year of being parents because the pandemic gave us an opportunity to stay at home while being full time parents. In 2021, I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. That same year, my husband got accepted into the police academy and I spent most of my second pregnancy alone. Now going into his first year as a police officer, we decided that it was best for me to be a full time stay at home mom. Listening to your story was so relatable and inspiring. I loved that you touched on how hard it is to hold down the fork while supporting your husband. I remember struggling with finding my identity and feeling guilty on how ungrateful I was. I went through a dark phase after postpartum but quickly picked myself right back up with the support of my husband and family. It is truly a blessing to have listened to this segment as it made me realize I'm not alone. Thank you. Side note, I loved watching your KZbin shorts and today I just discovered your podcast and oh boy, I have been binge watching it all day. Keep it up!!

[@KatKamalani]

Wow! This is amazing. Thank you for listening and leaving this comment. Hang in there mama💓

[@bmp42291]

Loved this, thank you! Next time would love you to talk about mandatory overtime. That is the hardest part for me as a fire wife.

[@KatKamalani]

Okay, love this idea!!

[@HeelloMrHeelloo]

@@KatKamalani ⁠Omg yes, I second this! This video was so validating as a fire spouse. I can relate to so much and my fiancé is also Hawaiian and his personality reminds of the Keloni in so many ways so it was so interesting to hear you both talk about your experience. My fiancé’s schedule is also supposed to be 48 on 96 off… but that’s rarely the case because of the all the forced overtime with guys being on vacation or out sick. For example, in the last few weeks his schedule has been 96 on 48 off, 96 on 48 of, and tomorrow he goes back in for another 48. I’m a pretty independent person but it’s been 4 years and I still haven’t gotten used to it. It’s so much rougher on my mental health than I expected and the more serious we’ve gotten in our relationship the harder it gets. We don’t even have kids yet and I’m terrified of all the solo parenting I’ll be doing when we do one day. 😢

[@maatoapolamalu9089]

Much love from Sāmoa!!!

[@dorkloading]

Love y’all’s love ❤

[@ctswat1989]

This something you don't always think about when life is so busy.. Makes me feel horrible for my fiancé now. Im a Correction Officer and I work doubles most days. So I work roughly 20 days a month and 15-20 overtimes most months

[@shaneclark6993]

An there is a huge demand for paid Firefighters, there is a huge shortage in the USA. As long as you don't have a felony and/or DUI or DWI. You should do a series about the 3 of a volunteer firefighter as they try and jungle everyday life, with work, family life, volunteer firefighter, and how it affects home and life. Remember 90-95% firefighter are volunteers. Which means they work there normal job 40-60 hour a week then go home and try and spending time with family and also volunteer

[@lorielpoteat882]

I always wanted to be firefighter just like My dad, but growing up i found out i have asthma and dyslexia and now i have seizures

[@shaneclark6993]

His schedule isn't like others the USA. Some depts work 24 then there off 48. Other work 3 days a week 6am till 6pm with a 4th day 12 hours 1 or 2 times a month and work no Weekends or holidays like Thanksgiving, July 4th, New Years etc... there off. So there's other Depts with a better schedules. Now some are like his schedule 48 on 96 off. But if he looks and maybe move he could have a better schedule and be home more and every night

[@beckym5730]

Wow I know a lot of firefighters and family members are firefighters and they make great money and don’t work second jobs.. must be where your at.

[@rachelgifford783]

It really does depend on where. Bigger cities make more than small towns (usually).

[@beckym5730]

@@rachelgifford783 we are in a small town guess in on state then. Hawaii average hmmm what 48,500 plus yearly that’s what 23.30 rounded..per hour hmm abut 930. Weekly 4,050 give or take a month.. that not bad But with that said different islands in Hawaii pay differently some make 61,000.00 plus so as of 2023 and ..people when your a firefighter state calls on a call list on how many fires your dep is called out on. There at more to this. Hawaii county Hi can very between 48,500- 108,500 depends on factors including your skills training and certificate employers, bonuses.. When posting stuff about a firefighter, please remember there other firefighter that know and what into being a firefighter..

[@rachelgifford783]

My husband is a firefighter…thank you for telling me what I already know though 😊

[@beckym5730]

@Rachel Gifford well better sure you didn't by your comment . But your welcome

[@christinawhalen644]

Have him look into the IAFF psych center, they’re opening a second one across the nation. Not enough help for those whom help others

[@matthewaaronwest]

I work 100 hr weeks

[@acarr13]

Hi I have to be real I work at a senior living facility for 7 yrs now when I first started I had mad respect for firefighters, ever since I've been working here I hate saying it but all the firefighters we deal with which are 3 different cities they are here weekly more than 5 times a week and they have such bad attitudes, they hate coming here to help seniors they literally walk in with the unhappiest look and don't even like to greet you and won't so much as look at you to say hi after you say hi, seriously this is no exaggeration and I've experienced for 7 years now and no its not just me our company has had to have meetings with them.

[@ryanyoo23]

Is it just me or does Keloni sort of look like Tiger Woods? lol

[@KatKamalani]

So funny!😂

[@christinawhalen644]

Eewww UTAH!! Do better for your peeps. My hubs is NYSHIP insurance, and lossddssss of time off. Dude ashamed of Utah for this