Being alone in another country | Feeling lonely?

[@bk10200]

Living and visiting are very different. From my experience, foreigners are always foreigners no matter how long we have stay in another country, and we have to live with it. All the best!

[@denitsaiyibukucu7074]

This is the sad truth, unfortunately..

[@MilkPudding]

In immigration countries like the US, it's much easier to live than moving to countries with a homogeneous society.

[@esterambunda8554]

It is so hard. I always thought I enjoy my own company, but I see it’s different because back home I chose to enjoy my own company (and I could always hangout with my friends and family when I/they are free), however when you live in a different country you simply have no choice in the matter because you are alone with no friends/ family. Making friends as an adult is so hard and for me it’s even affecting my work and studies. I guess being introverted doesn’t help either. I just don’t feel motivated to do anything because I feel sad, lonely and homesick all the time 😭

[@Bo36844]

Hey Ester. I feel the same! It's different if you HAVE TO be by yourself. Which county did you move to/from?

[@fatboyhoops4020]

May God give you peace wisdom and joy in the name of Jesus Amen

[@esterambunda8554]

@@Bo36844 I moved to Hungary in 2021. Everyday is a struggle but we learn to adapt. Where did you move to??

[@user-z57h]

I feel you, same here, hang in there

[@mellisachitewere9924]

@@esterambunda8554 has it gotten better

[@ElNanoBoy]

Is true everything that you said, i'm living in Italy since the 2020 and I lost friends, my girlfriend and I don't chat so much in whatsapp with my family because the different time zone. Sometimes is really hard, I feel so lonely... but is a time to connect with yourself, to improve yourself and step by step i'm feeling better day after day. A tip that helps me a lot is to think that all of this is just a stage in my life for something better. I really wish the best for all of you that are struggling for being a foreigner in another country.

[@molokuro]

I used to do my Bachelor degree in another country, I lived in a dorm, it was easier, because I have friends everyday. This time, I am moving abroad to work, to take master degree without the dorms, as a 30 year old, alone. I am excited but also very scared, because I remember even then, whenever I am upset, I feel so alone, especially when I am sick, I feel so helpless. I remember the nights I cried just because I feel so sad, without really knowing why, it's just another usual day, but that night I felt so alone. Cheers to everyone who are living abroad, we will always be a foreigner, but there are some moments that makes all the sacrifice worth it.

[@amethyst6386]

Being sick and with no one in reach to help you out is the most terrible feeling ☹️

[@SoDaniela1]

Could not put feelings into words in a better way! I just moved to another country not knowning anyone. I dont even speak its language and i have encountered a few rude situations because of it! Always have known how to appreciate time on my own but being in another country hurts!

[@after3011]

Hey Daniela! I definitely know what you're talking about. Yes, living abroad has its ups and downs...and I hope that despite the bad moments you're having nice experiences! And you are definitely right when you invest this time in yourself ☺ Please take care and a big hug ❤

[@gal5402]

My life 😢

[@marcgibson9485]

@@after3011 did you move away along ?

[@marcgibson9485]

@@after3011 alone

[@after3011]

@@marcgibson9485 yes I did! Moved into a other country completely alone :)

[@hgzmatt]

This happens again when you move back to your country of origin. 'Reverse culture shock'. All the cultural differences you experienced when moving somewhere new.. well.. now you get to not feel at home in your own country anymore. I'm not sure if I should see this as a positive for becoming a more complex person or as a negative for not feeling I belong anywhere. It's not just cultural however, there's just a gigantic gap where friends and your social circle should be, except there's nothing.

[@after3011]

This is so true! By coincidence I filmed a video talking about this a time ago, but I still have a lot to edit, so it will take a bit time to post. You used the right words to define it! I believe it is really hard not to live this paradox... When we choose to give this step we automatically renounce the old "us". And this is irreversible. You are completely right: it is not only a cultural matter; we also change our values and with this we change who we are. Thank you for bringing your thoughts on this!

[@_stft93]

this makes alot of sense to me, I recently moved back to The Netherlands after being a year in Switzerland and damn the reserve culture schock is real im seriously thinking of heading back to Switzerland as I don't feel at home anymore in my home country.... thnx for the word reverse culture Shock I'll do some KZbin searches with this

[@hgzmatt]

@@_stft93 I wouldn't make any rash decisions. The thing is, you do eventually find back if you stick with it. I'm guessing there is a reason you moved back home and I'd say remind yourself of that reason. Or maybe even remind yourself of the fact that Switzerland also has its issues. When I left the UK I lost most of my friends and colleagues, but long term I think I'll be happier here.

[@_stft93]

@@hgzmatt Thank you for your response. Yes you are right, it is just that it feels like the chance to ever go back is slipping further and further away. I left bc of breaking up with my Ex and going back home was the most logical next step. Maybe it's also a bit missing my ex combined with the reversed culturesshock and homesickness.. But you are right I should remind myself why I came back and maybe give it some time. thanks again for your wise words!

[@hgzmatt]

@@_stft93 When I left I was in the early stages of a relationship, one which of course didn't last. Left me wondering.. what if I hadn't moved. I was seriously considering going back, but didn't. Breakups sucks, I hope it gets better soon!

[@SatyadeepRoat]

Just came across this video. I have moved to a new country all by myself. There were so many instances where I just cry in my room because I don't have anyone to talk to. Moving to a new country hurts

[@noluyolozintlemehlomakulu9123]

It can be very lonely I am still struggling with loneliness after 4 months

[@after3011]

I totally feel you! It hurts sometimes indeed, but look at it this way: you moved alone to a new country and that is so damn brave! Things are not easy when we are rebuilding our life somewhere else and it can be very overwhelming. But sharing your feelings and thoughts in spaces like this here just helps you to realize you are not alone! Many of us struggle with such a change, and sharing experiences also can help us feel stronger to keep going. There is always a reason why we move abroad, and your purpose should be your fuel to keep going. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope the difficult moments become each time more rare. Take care

[@giuliagoncalves5283]

Me too!

[@nyambura8867]

It's been 5 months already since I moved to Italy and loneliness brought me here as I learn how to embrace what's thrown at me. It's a whole new different experience for me - nothing like I imagined before I decided to come here. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's extremely challenging. Well, social isolation (probably because I'm not talkative), especially at school, has been my worst nightmare but I'm slowly learning how not to "care". It's not the easiest experience but I hope to manage. Thanks for the insights

[@after3011]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! You are definitely not alone in this. I am also an introvert and have social anxiety. I struggle every single day because of it, but you have no idea of how much growth you are allowing yourself to have with this experience. Embrace the new and absorb every little thing of it. It is indeed challenging, but being abroad is one of the best gifts life can give to us

[@teresadisomma4526]

I've come back to Italy after six years in Brazil and feel totally devastated. I also suffer from social anxiety and in Brazil making friends was much more easier. I'm trying to cherish every difficulty as an opportunity but loneliness and nostalgia hit very hard on me I get sometimes stuck. I'm doing therapy but I believe I need to go back to a Latin country to find back some balance in my life.

[@ellona3645]

Thank you for sharing this ❤ I've lived in Switzerland for 15 years, & I always feel like I'm that odd 'foreigner'. Like you said having that shared background is so important. I truly can't relate with most of the conversation my co-workers are having. But also it sucks because they wouldn't understand why I feel this way.

[@daphnabrenner]

Also in Switzerland ❤

[@vandhanasankar8389]

Last year I moved to Mexico from India without knowing Spanish and have very very few known Spanish PPL(like 3) and few frnds from India...it was exciting and fun at first and later it became more depressing and alone and feeling lost and worthless...in the first, everyone calls and check on u...later noone bothers even the closest ones...being in work from home, i barely go out and could not make any new frnds...still I'm going thru it and came across this video to know that it happens to many!!

[@after3011]

This is something many of us experienced when living long term abroad. It hurts but it is part of the choice we made. It is a true bitter-sweet experience. I am talking more about the expat life on the video coming up tomorrow. I also have been working from home and I know what you mean, I can relate so much! But I have been finding ways to compensate that (maybe I can make another video talking about it?). Be sure you are not alone and if you wanna talk you can write me on Instagram. Take care

[@nazaninsabet8087]

I am from the middle east and living in Portugal. No matter how nice, polite, and polite I treat people, there is a vast discrimination and cultural violation towards my home country, Iran, that makes me prefer to avoid socializing, and despite my love towards solitude and self-development, it worsens my experience of loneliness living abroad.

[@Dangles091]

i would say this, you’re probobly a great person and most likely people don’t have an issue with you, but.. a lot of people in western countries are very upset right now with the absolutely massive amount of people coming to our countries, wether it’s asia, the middle east, africa or south america. people are noticing all the european aspects of the culture going away while being replaced with those of other countries (and this is actively promoted and pushed in our faces by our leaders). it’s not your fault but rather our leaders for forcing this mass migration. i’m sure iranians would be the same way if europeans were replacing the culture, history and heritage of iran with a european one. some immigrants want to immerse and assimilate into the cultures of the countries they move to, but there’s also a lot that don’t, this causes a lot of bad attitudes towards foreigners right now. and it is documented that people feel comfortable and safe around people from their own regions. i’m sorry your experience has been bad, it’s just a really bad time to be here as things are at a boiling point. if this migration weren’t happening on a massive scale people would be much more friendly and open to learning about your culture as well.

[@Abraham0031]

Understand exactly what you mean,5 years ago I moved to Spain, not knowing the language,not knowing anyone, moved 4 times now in Spain, speaking the language now, but it's way different then my country, Wish you a great day . Stay strong ..

[@after3011]

I totally get it! Sometimes it´s hard, but we need to keep in mind why we made this choice in the first place. Living abroad has its price, we just need to be clear if we are willing to pay for. And like I said in the video, I kinda learned how to be comfortable with it, and try to make the best ouf of it. Stay strong and keep going!

[@denitsaiyibukucu7074]

I have lived already for 7 years in my husband's country (Turkey) and although my native culture is not so different than the culture here I still feel lonely, I am still trying to fit in and the worst of all is that no matter how hard I try I will always stay a foreigner here, and slowly I am losing my own cultural identity and the connection with my home country and environment. ''Was it worth it after all?'' I am asking myself sometimes....

[@FlorenceTaha]

İ am in the same situatıon. İ moved because i married a turkish man and i feel out of place. İ think it would be abit better if people here knew how to speak english.

[@after3011]

Oh my gosh I can relate so much to what you say! I recorded a video some time ago about this and didnt't have the chance to edit it. You are definitely not alone with this struggle, I can tell! I hope with time and patience things get better somehow. Some things we cannot change, but we can change our ability to adapt. I am sending you a big hug

[@beccas.brain.]

Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of people will feel connected through this video

[@after3011]

I am so glad you liked it! True, I think it is so important to let others know they are not alone in this and that we can talk about it here. Thank you so much for watching

[@Geedi1977]

Thank you so much for this insightful and inspiring video. Your energy and spirit are marvelous. I wish you all the best! Thanks 🌎

[@Bettyboop991]

I just moved back to my husbands country. I lived here for 6 months in 2019 and left and got stuck in my home country for almost 2 years. So now I’m back with my husband in his country and I’m having culture shock again. I’m lonely and isolated. Ive only been here for a month and I know it’s going to take time but it’s very hard.

[@after3011]

I am sorry you are going through this... Feeling isolated is something common in our circumstances. We really need to work well on our inner strength in order go through those moments and move forward. I know how hard it is, but be patient. You got this! Sending you a virtual hug

[@surayyah7503]

How are you now ? Ms tina

[@gabrielnascimento3342]

What an amazing reflexion. Sometimes words cannot describe something like this, but you made it. I definately understand it. 👏

[@after3011]

Thank you

[@nadiafaraone3617]

Thank you so much for posting your experience on a KZbin video !! I am looking to move to another country because i grow up with Russians and Italians (my grandpas) in Uruguay, I don’t feel quite Russian or Italian but I definitely do not feel Uruguayan, which I am. I born here. But for me I’ve always been the one that think different and don’t understand some kind of costumes. Today I have only a couple of really good friends and my parents and sister, so there’s no much holding me back. So I think that for me… move out could be a beneficial thing. Idk.. I’m just looking “we’re I belong”. I’m not worried about friends, or loneliness. I’ve felt loneliness here where I was born and raised, I feel anxiety because Uruguay is a country in which nowadays it’s impossible to succeed if you don’t have “contacts” in the area that you want to succeed in. And like I said… I’m not worried about friends. I trust in myself and the ability of making friends, and find opportunities. Also: The plus to my story is that since I was a child I knew one day I would move to another country.

[@after3011]

HiNadia! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Some years ago I was going through the exact same thing and I took the chance to reinvent myself. I decided to leave and it wasthe best decision I have ever made. All these questions and uncertainties also were part of the process,but they help you with making a clear choice. There is a video coming up exactly about this topic. I will be uploading it soon! I know sometimes we don't know exactly what our hearts want, but try to listen to it and stick to your true self. You will find the way to happiness no matter where you are ❤️

[@kennedybunga399]

Am about to embark on a journey halfway across the globe. This is helpful.

[@natasam7544]

I am in love with my own company, I daily develop skills and yet, I feel terribly lonely because I can't bond with people in this new country, already too long..

[@after3011]

It is so nice to hear that you love your own company! But I totally understand the difficulty in bonding with people. I can totally relate... please know you are not alone! I am sending you a big hug

[@sidhantseth007]

Yeah, In Germany it is so difficult to get comfortable in a social setting

[@pathak8240]

Thank you for sharing this. I needed it

[@after3011]

Hi Pathak! I am glad it helped! There is a new one about expat life ocming up tomorrow. Thank you for watching :)

[@RonalFahad]

Looking at your eyes feels like you're crying, don't know why... Good to know you enjoy your own company, most people don't like that, take care...!

[@after3011]

Thank you for watching! No I was not crying, I think the lighting was maybe too strong :) That is definitely true. It is matter of adapting :)

[@lovelife823]

Thanks for sharing this video, It helped me a lot!

[@jewelstriple3383]

❤️ your presentation and inspiration for living Alone in foreign country.

[@after3011]

thank you so much for watching! There is a new video on this topic coming up

[@lm5608]

Watched all your videos. You are doing great and questioning is a good method to figure out life. Take care

[@after3011]

Yes, right? I also think we need to throw a critical look at things and never accept something that does not feel right. Take care you too :)

[@therealmethatyoudontknow]

I just moved to france and although i have my family, i cant open to them, i feel scared, lonely, sad and this stupid feeling of inferiority, i dont know what to do, im also not very good with the langue....i keep telling myself that things arent that bad, i guess i just need to not give up but its hard....

[@after3011]

I know so well what you are talking about... Sending you a virtual hug

[@therealmethatyoudontknow]

@@after3011 Thank u so much ❤

[@LoversUnlimitedCo]

Great essay you did on this topic, so deep. We definitely relate

[@after3011]

Thank you! It is something I really needed to share!

[@kerriann750]

I have moved to Canada 2 months now and i have been feeling so lonely and depressed and missing my home a lot. Everything is different and no matter how hard i try its difficult for anyone to understand when i explain. I have been trying but the move is alot and i dont know how to cope properly.

[@after3011]

I feel you 100%! Only we know how overwhelming that can be. And 2 months is so fresh! You are still adapting to the new environment and to the new things happening in your life in a daily basis. Be patient, and enjoy the little things that bring you happiness, focus on them. When I first moved abroad I was overwhelmed with so much new information and lost with so much bureaucracy, but at the same time I was so amazed for being able to experience a whole new world that I tried to focus on keeping an open mind and on soaking in all the new things I was discovering. Only for being able to take this step you prove yourself to be a very brave person! As my favorite KZbinr says, "the world belongs to the brave"

[@egidijad.6119]

I moved 12 years ago, but I want to go either to my home country or Italy. However, I dont feel like I belong in neither of the country. It’s so complex :/

[@after3011]

Gosh this is so true! I recorded a video about this some time ago, it is coming up soon! But I totally understand what you mean... you are not alone! Sending you a hug

[@edl6398]

That’s what’s really weird is when you don’t belong in your home country and where you move to.

[@kam8278]

i just want to go home

[@wasabiicatt]

me too :((

[@anshulvijh]

such a very full talk :)

[@madelyndenise6205]

Thank you for this video

[@after3011]

thank you so much for watching! New videos are coming soon 🤗

[@lualine82]

I've searched for the theme and had fallen here. There are websites where people know each other around their intestests. Meetup , Couchsurfing, expats groups in general and there may be others, someone tell me if you know. I didn't have the guts to move not even trying, yet...

[@after3011]

This is definitely true! Now we have many online resources that help us so much with feeling less lonely! I can tell you that even though is tough, I don't regret a single bit! But it is my personal experience :) If you wanna move somewhere else one day, I could only encourage you to do it. It is something that will change you completely and forever. Thank you for watching

[@sontayjoss]

Excellent topic...saludos desde California.

[@after3011]

Thank you so much

[@sontayjoss]

Hello how are you ☺️

[@rishuadams]

Simple... Lets be friends 😊

[@whoseynzada]

where are u right now?)

[@shashimarasinghe576]

im looking to move another country💚

[@after3011]

Trust me, you will never be the same! The growth and the experiences you will collect are the most precious thing you can carry through life

[@dilankabuddhika1455]

what is your country now ?

[@after3011]

Hi Dilanka, I live in Germany :)

[@dilankabuddhika1455]

@@after3011 wonderful country

[@manavtyagi6086]

Is anyone in d world who help human without seeing their skin who have noone left and long life left ashamed of India

[@Omar-tz6sl]

So is there like an online support group lol

[@after3011]

Definitely!

[@blahdiblah2169]

15 years living in Czech Republic. You really do understand what you're talking about. It seems like you might as well be describing me exactly. Would you like to maybe have a WhatsApp call?

[@after3011]

Hey thank you so much for watching! Omg 15 years is a long, long journey! We all can relate in this right? It is a true bitter-sweet experience. You can write me on Instagram, I am not posting consistently there but I answer all the messages :)

[@yogiaol]

Warum fährst du nicht zurück in deiner Heimatland, wenn du dich in Deutschland einsam, alleine und unglücklich fühlst? Aber dann gibt es auch keine Bahnreisen nach Abisko... Ich bin auch ein Einwanderer in Deutschland, aber beschwere mich nicht, dass ich einsam bin, sondern passe mich an.

[@after3011]

Ich habe in dem Video mehrmals gesagt, dass ich mich nicht bereue, aber dass diese Entscheidung einen Preis hat, den ich annehme. Ich bin sehr glücklich aber das bedeutet nicht,dass keine Schwierigkeiten gibt. Ich freue mich täglich im Ausland leben zu können und will das auch nicht ändern, auch wenn es manchmal schwierig ist. Egal wo wir sind, es gibt immer Herausforderungen. Das ist in dieser Situation nicht anders. Übrigens geht es in dem Video nicht um Deutschland, sondern um das Expat-Leben allgemein und meine Meinung darüber. Es ist keine absolute Wahrheit und ich habe das ziemlich klar gemacht. Jeder hat seine eigene Erfahrung und ist frei das mit anderen zu teilen. Wenn das ganze Video geschaut hast, weiß du, dass ich ein sehr positives Look drauf auch werfe und auch sage, wie viel diese Entscheidung unserem Leben sehr gut tut.

[@after3011]

Es ist auch sehr oberflächlich und schwach, etwas aufzugeben, nur weil einen kleinen Teil nicht perfekt ist. Der Grund warum ich hier lebe ist tiefsinniger als nur ein intensiv soziales Leben zu haben. Wenn Sozial Leben mein einziges Ziel wäre, hätte ich ins Ausland nicht umgezogen.