Benedict Cumberbatch reads a hilarious letter of apology to a hotel

In March of 2018, 18 years after being banned from the Empress Hotel in British Columbia, Novia Scotia resident Nick Burchill wrote them a letter and asked for forgiveness. Three days later, by which point his letter had been reprinted online and read by millions, the ban was lifted.
Benedict Cumberbatch performed this letter at Letters Live at the Royal Albert Hall, London in October 2022.
Letter © Nick Burchill

[@marcelloditta7957]

As a seagull who took part in the pepperoni assault I can tell you this is absolutely true. Those pepperoni mess up your guts quite badly.

[@johnaron9819]

Your guts may be messed up but your typing skills (for having wings but no fingers) are fantastic.

[@marcelloditta7957]

@@johnaron9819 we use the beak to write, quite easy

[@markpukey8]

We both know you're lying. Seagulls are flying garbage disposal units. Your stomachs can digest tin cans, cigars, radioactive waste AND Brother's pepperoni with no harmful impacts. What you and your fellows did to that mans room was malice. Pure and simple. You did it on purpose. Because you could. This, THIS, is why no one likes you flying rats.

[@stevemcinnes5480]

@@marcelloditta7957 ahhh the hunt and peck method

[@RealDukeOfEarl]

Best comment!

[@ktkat1949]

As a lifelong Victorian I can tell you this is absolutely true. I remember when it happened and also when the letter of apology arrived. He was forgiven.

[@mary-janereallynotsarah684]

Lol that is so cool! 😄 BTW I have empathy, I am a tornado of a guest. I once got my period while sleeping. A huge puddle of blood! My mom calls me The Queen Of Entropy.

[@Selkie7]

@@mary-janereallynotsarah684 omg that made me giggle 🤭

[@josephkarogo-amethystinsur7247]

Nice letter

[@debefeldman]

I’m glad to know the visitor was forgiven. Loved the letter and the reading. Made me smile and I really needed a smile today. Love from Florida.

[@truthsayer9534]

I have had the pleasure of staying at The Empress. It’s beautiful.

[@darylmorse]

This is a true story. I used to work with Nick at the company he was referring to in his letter. He's a great guy. Cumberbatch read the letter well, but you can't beat hearing the story directly from Nick.

[@teage12]

Can you please ask him to Tell the story to friends while filming it? I'd looooove to see that 🤣

[@StarKnight70]

^ second that

[@cbel888]

Nick!!! 😊

[@zumbawithlu]

I so want to know the end of the story!!! Did the hotel grant him his wish? I am kind of hoping they responded with an equally hilarious letter… 😅

[@darylmorse]

@@zumbawithlu Nick is no longer banned from the hotel.

[@rochellee.pigman6495]

There's a maid somewhere still telling the story of the horror of cleaning this room to her children.

[@danielhawkins6425]

...and somewhat peeved that they've let the perpetrator off the hook! I'm sure she felt nothing less than a life sentence was appropriate.

[@animerlon]

I see it becoming a 'family story'. "Auntie, tell them about the pepperoni room." 😄 Kids would love how gross it was.

[@malihayahya5732]

And grandchildren😂

[@jamesrodgers3132]

Or maybe she went to her grave waiting for an apology from that prat.

[@danielkirienko1701]

God I hope so. A greater fear is that the service staff thought, "I hate Thursdays" because some other equally asinine thing happens every week."

[@raggededge82]

as a member of the Royal Canadian Navy I can attest that this story has reached legendary status and is told often. By the way, Brothers pepperoni is 100% worth the trouble.

[@musiclifegage7370]

🤣

[@SafariPlum]

Well the Gulls certainly think so.

[@lmbgemini]

Worth the trouble that was told in this story??

[@warpdrivefueledbyinsomnia8165]

That is some good pepperoni

[@TERESADEAR]

Yes and their pastrami is really great too!

[@leewm.gaudry3770]

My wife and I stayed in the Empress in 2016, also on the 4th floor facing the harbour. I was sitting by an open window eating cheese, and a gull flew right up, landed on the sill and demanded a share. So, I have no reason to doubt his story.

[@DaTimmeh]

I imagine it was the fat one that refused to leave. He visits everyone who stays there.

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

​@@DaTimmehLike a bird mafioso shaking all guests down for whatever they've got to eat 😂. The Good Feathers from Animaniacs.

[@maargenbx1454]

The gulls have been telling each other about the legendary pepperoni room for generations, and are still in search of it.

[@Sabbathtage]

I bet their still looking for that pepperoni brothers jack pot. Their elders still caw of it to this day.

[@VMM34]

Seagulls live for 20 years, so it's highly probable that it belonged to that same group of seagulls!

[@SquidandCatAdventures]

I just wanted to note that not only did Benedict do a highly entertaining reading, it's clear that he made an effort to do an appropriate accent - neutral Canadian accent and how I imagine the guy would sound. He didn't go too far into the Maritime accent which is great. Having had the fancy, overpriced tea at the Empress as a tourist (from nearby Vancouver), I can just imagine reacting to a shoe and an angry glaucous-winged seagull towel burrito flying at me while wearing a cute dress.

[@impishDullahan]

Neutral Canadian's a step too far, I think, it's got some northern cities vowel qualities without many of the more characteristic General Canadian vowels. I'm not very familiar with any of the Maritime accents, though, so I can't speak to the accuracy if it leans that way. (I did catch a reversed diphthong in 'skill' which impressed me as someone who's been looked at crazy for positing such a thing in my own accent.)

[@ExtraAdventure]

For me, the effect was diminished by how he pronounced “room”. I’ve lived east coast, west coast and in between. If he needs a dialect coach, I’m available.

[@hamishanderson6738]

But not a pengwing in sight!

[@ditzygypsy]

I’m from BC and I married an American from NJ. We sound exactly the same except for words like tournament and sometimes the way he says forehead (almost a little bit “far-head” 😂). He says tournament more like tore-na-ment and I say it more like turn-a-ment. His sisters sound different from him, but he has travelled extensively and so have I since I was a small child, and they did not. I think that the major news anchors have the same neutral accent that we do. It’s only in places like the southern US where I have been asked if I’m BRITISH 😂. Clearly they have never heard any of the various and numerous different British accents before. And I’ve never said a-boot in my life, but I can sure hear it when someone does!

[@ditzygypsy]

@@ExtraAdventure he said room exactly the way we say it in my house.

[@charlesvigneron565]

He was forgiven. This was a huge local story at the time!

[@JasperJanssen]

Notably the letter does not mention any offer of financial reimbursement. Which is kind of a sine qua non of genuine apology.

[@joanneentwistle7653]

@@JasperJanssen Actually I'm surprised that the Hotel's reply wasn't read. This was indeed a big story here in Canada, and the gentleman had sent them a huge consignment of pepperoni, for which they were appreciative and forgave him. Yes, I guess the pepperoni was that good! As well, us Maritimers have a very good sense of humour too!

[@myladycasagrande863]

@@JasperJanssen I would imagine that the writer's company was billed for the damage at the time of the incident.

[@clarissathompson]

So funny! I moved there the following year and heard the story! Lol! I lived there when there was the purse snatcher at Beacon Hill Park that the two ladies tricked by putting dog poo in their newly acquired Value Village handbags. Lol! that town has great stories!

[@Daniel-uj1nu]

Can you share one of the news articles?

[@Silverserri]

You know that this story is a LEGEND at the Empress Hotel that they tell ALL the newbies who walk through the door on their first day of work.

[@paolagrando5079]

As a former house keeping lady I can see the face of the cleaner when she entered the room.

[@birdylove24]

As a mother of a 15 year old son I can see her face too...😂🤣

[@Scapestoat]

When I even so much drool on a pillow I leave a few 2 euro coins on the corner of the bed. I can't imagine how I could possibly compensate for a seagull storm.

[@intercat4907]

I don't think I owe you an apology for anything, but I'll take one at random from your list of People Owe Me For This. Thank you for all those clean rooms, and sorry about that ...

[@professornuke7562]

I imagine it was the same kind of face the housekeeper had when she came to the door on Hunter S. Thompson and Oscar Z Acosta in Las Vagas.

[@Nerdificent]

I am grateful to have served with Nick. Great guy.

[@jamesrodgers3132]

Great? Took him 18 years to apologize, and then only when he needed to go back. He could at least have sent that poor cleaner a bunch of flowers.

[@Hebrews927]

He did apologize, this letter was to reiterate that apology and to ask to have his ban removed.

[@JenniferDurdleArt]

OMG I can't believe THIS story made Letters Live, AND read by Benedict. When I first heard this story years ago, of course I thought it was completely fabricated, but no, it's not, it is absolutely true, and possibly the best story to ever come out of the Canadian Navy.

[@ryankingston6119]

Excellent, but certainly not unique or even the best story to come out of the RCN. Just one of the better ones that can be told in public.....

[@jtidema]

@@ryankingston6119 Wow I'd love to hear some of the ones which cannot be told in public!

[@heatherbardell2316]

And he used to be at my unit

[@raggededge82]

it's up there with the Hamburglar

[@evcotter08]

@@raggededge82 the hamburglar is crazy. Totally naked too (to keep his uniform clean, if course!)

[@mastersadvocate]

I remember seeing that letter printed in a column in the Times Colonist newspaper, a while ago. I honestly don't know how this guy could read the letter without losing his composure! I was doubled over laughing until tears came to my eyes! This actually happened. If I were the guy who wrote that letter, I'd avoid Victoria, and especially the Empress Hotel, forever! People have long memories. ~Janet in Canada

[@marshwetland3808]

He probably died laughing the first 5 times he read it. After a while, though, I think you'd just enjoy knowing the effect it'd have on the audience.

[@elenalatici9568]

I was just laughing so hard I feared for my life. A perfect way to begin a Saturday morning.

[@Grizabeebles]

I'd bet that after 18 years, the company finally had to send Nick out West again. And if they usually did business meetings at the Empress, booking him a room at the Quality Inn defeated the purpose.

[@KathyKaulk]

Me too😂

[@HerrAndreasSkog]

"Bad decisions make good stories -the deluxe version".

[@Ogsonofgroo]

My mom was living in Victoria during this seagull escapade and she called me to tell the story, omg we laughed so hard, and yup, felt so sorry for whom-ever had to clean that mess up. Great reading of this true urban legend, sitting here laughing all over again, thank you Ben, I can't believe you didn't crack up!

[@LochBriarKnits]

As a lifetime Nova Scotian, I can attest that the Brothers TNT pepperoni would have been totally worth it.

[@jackielinde7568]

Do they ship internationally? I doubt I can eat it, unless it's all beef. But I have friends and relations that don't exist under my draconian religious rules and could enjoy it.

[@Frenchiesfiberfiles]

As a Monctonian I can attest to that statement.

[@kristinaweagant5421]

He said "fairly large birds" so I'm sure they weren't just regular seagulls either. They're those nova scotian seagulls lmfao. My cousin lives in Claire and witnessed a seagull eat another tiny bird. That's how huge they are over there lol. They're also a lot darker than usual ones

[@Frenchiesfiberfiles]

@Kristina Weagant I believe the events occurred in BC. The letter writer was from nova scotia

[@stargraphicdesign1]

@@kristinaweagant5421 The seagulls on Victoria's inner harbour are huge too, they fill up on tourists french fries.

[@kellebelle]

I live in Victoria and my boss' husband knows the guy who wrote the letter and says that it really doesn't even BEGIN to adequately describe the... "aftermath" of that room.

[@digislr7277]

Yeah, I was feeling bad for the guy until he said he basically pawned the mess off on housekeeping to go to dinner and the best he could muster up was "sorry". Not OK. Glad the hotel acknowledged this wasn't ok.

[@BlandoGaming]

@@digislr7277 He didn't "pawn it off" on someone. He tried to fix the situation on his own and called for help when he realized he was in over his head. Plus, that's Housekeeping's job. He just asked them to do their job so he could do his. He didn't just take off for a fancy dinner, it was a work thing. He probly would have gotten in a lot of trouble, if not fired, for missing the work event his company brought him out there for as a new employee. And he clearly felt bad doing it, because he apologized to the person when they got there.

[@BlandoGaming]

@penelopeasmr1009 That's a fair point. It was certainly beyond any "typical" mess needing to be cleaned up.

[@johnd5398]

@Penelope ASMR the pathetic inability to simply enjoy a humorous story without feeling the need to pass judgement on a complete stranger... it's just sick. I hope you're locked up somewhere, away from decent people.

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@digislr7277dude had no cleaning tools - he can't possibly have cleaned that. Have you ever tried to get old bird crap off a car? That was that coffee table. 😬 An older adult probably would have had a hefty tip in hand or promised to leave one at the front desk - but he can't have been that old at the time.

[@Josh-99]

When the Canadian Navy visited Mayport, where my ship, USS CARNEY, was homeported, they told us this story over whiskey and cigars. It has happened pretty recently (this would have been 2002) and had become a legend. It sounded so outlandish that we weren't sure if it was true or not until... they showed us pictures of the room. To describe the scene as a "horrorshow" wouldn't do it proper justice.

[@RealSalica]

I'm glad the ban was lifted after 18 years , what a story .

[@robertasirgutz8800]

Remarkable. No trace of a British accent!!!! Fantastic actor.

[@mattgoodwin-king2228]

He started with an Irish accent

[@majatadic549]

Let's write a petition for Cumberbatch to read Encyclopedia Britannica 😍🥰. What a voice! I could listen to him forever.

[@Fragrantbeard]

And that's not even his glorious native accent!

[@bewilderedcat2536]

Just don’t get him to say penguins

[@majatadic549]

@@bewilderedcat2536 🤣😂we're skipping the penguin part in Britannica.

[@bewilderedcat2536]

@@majatadic549 Maybe it is his redemption if he doesn’t break out in a cold sweat just looking at the word

[@majatadic549]

@@bewilderedcat2536 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@belinda541]

As a housekeeping supervisor for 20+ years i really enjoyed this story as i have been retired for 2 years now. People have no idea the things we see

[@stever3658]

What I want to know is how Mr. Cumberbatch managed to read the entire letter without being reduced to helpless fits of laughter.

[@RD9_Designs]

He's a VERY good actor! Hence, the accent! This is my first clue that he might not be entirely British! I had no idea!

[@marshwetland3808]

Yeah, I got my ab workout there.

[@studioalsar]

He didn't read it for the first time I presume and probably knew more than a big chunk by heart. A truly amazing actor!

[@pan6593]

Seriously: it was funny. But was it hilariously funny ? My impression is that most of the image we get and the overall entertainment is by the reading, not because the content is somewhat fabulous. I do not try to mock it down, it is a special, memorable story with a truly entertaining factor, but just not hilarious, IMHO.

[@marshwetland3808]

@@pan6593 Oh, dear. Sorry you are humour-challenged. I would have been open-mouthed and roaring, had I read this story in text, knowing it was real.

[@benzaiten933]

Benedict C. could read a list of ingredients on a cereal packet and it'd still be engaging and entertaining.

[@KBinturong]

He was the voice of a planetarium telling the story of earth, I was so thrilled !

[@benzaiten933]

@@KBinturong oh my, when and how was this? is there something on YT about this marvel?

[@Lia-A-Eastwood]

Nope, he shouold read the list of ingredients of that famous Brothers TNT pepperonis. 🤣

[@kittyss2371]

he did a voice over for a documentary for penguin.. it was hilarious Coz he pronounced PENgUin as Pengwin and some other form like pengwink..

[@glemwheatley9425]

That reminds me of a date I went on with a nice young guy I met on an airplane returning to St. Louis on my way back to Fort Leonard Wood. That was my duty station at the time. I really liked the guy but, for some reason, he thought he could impress me by reading the label of the ketchup bottle at our table in a sexy manner. I know he was trying to be funny and sexy at the same time, but somehow, it fell flat. Completely flat. I found myself being bored and realizing he was not the guy for me. I made my excuses and did what I usually did upon returning to my Army post. I called a cab to take me home. Yes, it was expensive, but those were the breaks in the early 1980s. I still wonder what he’s up to now and I appreciate his kindness. He just wasn’t the guy for me. I finally found the guy. He recently passed away after 39 wonderful years of marriage. Anyway, this response reminded me of that. Not everyone can pleasantly read the most boring things and still keep my interest. I’m not sure even Benedict could have done it. But this was a great story. And now I’m craving pepperoni. Go figure.

[@Triciatly]

As a housekeeper in a Hotel, hearing this story was hilarious, thrilling and terrifying. 😂🤣

[@annbrookens945]

BEAUtifully read! I'm happy to hear that the apology was accepted.

[@charlesnelthorpe9252]

OH MY GOD THEY DID THIS LETTER.. as a Victorian, this is one of the more hilarious stories Ive heard about this town.

[@CookiesAndSarcasm]

As a fellow Victorian I agree. And the seagulls in this town are winged rat bastards.

[@PetWessman]

It took me way too long to realise that with "as a Victorian", you did in fact mean "a person from Victoria, Nova Scotia" and not "a person born and living during the reign of Queen Victoria of England".

[@lynnquinn7244]

@@PetWessman Victoria, B.C. That is the location of the Empress Hotel, and this incident.

[@charlesnelthorpe9252]

@@PetWessman Victoria BC, where the Empress hotel is located... wtf are you talking about.

[@PetWessman]

@@lynnquinn7244 Hah, thanks! Seems I can't even google the hotel right! xD

[@nelsonrko]

This is quite a famous story here in Victoria! Great to see him read it.

[@Vivienwestphal]

Imagine having such a bad day that you become a part of local lore 😂😂😂

[@Chimera_Photography]

He even puts on a pretty good non-offensive Canadian accent. We tend to go up in tone in the middle of many of our sentences. Most don’t even realize they do this 😂

[@TheKillahKyla]

He could say "seagull" instead of "seagal"

[@Paulafan5]

Sounds like a west coast accent. Benedict has obviously studied accents and he knows Canadians don't sound like they're from Fargo.

[@jenna2720]

Benedict Cumberbatch’s accent was so good I had to google whether he was actually British or not.

[@stephaniemurria5534]

He's good.

[@kellyosgood461]

me too. I was so confused at first. The only word he mispronounced was "room"

[@faith1characterhope]

His short "a" and "o" sounds are too American 😜. Canadians don't pronounce them that broadly, more narrow-mouthed.

[@RequiemSol]

Lol same here! Even though I already knew he is 100% British he just does a neutral accent so well it blew my mind!

[@CL-go2ji]

That accent is not "neutral" - it is so American, it should be allwed to vote! @@RequiemSol

[@johnnyraven4217]

I grew up in Victoria, BC. For those not familiar, the hotel is at the inner harbour where seagulls are all over the place. I think they hang around on window ledges and people open windows and leave treats for them. I used to do it when I worked in an old office building at Hastings and Richards in Vancouver. I know I was bad . That was almost 30 years ago. I am more mature now. Please forgive me. Brilliant performance. I will leave it to Nova Scotians to comment more fairly on his accent for Eastern Canada but in my own humble opinion it was great.

[@Selkie7]

Ive lived most of my life in Victoria and I remember hearing about this hilarious story. So glad it's now internet famous 😅

[@colleenblackwater4792]

I love this man!!!!! Pure personality. Humble, powerful, kind, honest. Real!!

[@waggishsagacity7947]

A lovely letter, and and even lovelier rendition by the Great Benedict Cumberbatch. Thanks.

[@Jazzma3397]

We were there!! We watched this last October 2022!! He was amazing and totally amazed at his American or Canadian accent!

[@CatsandJP]

Another ripper read by the always entertaining Mr Cumberbatch. This brings back memories of I Ran (So Far Away) Video by A Flock of Seagulls. Love that he’s still wearing that “Choose Love” badge on his shirt. 😂😂❤️❤️💯💯🇦🇺🇦🇺

[@alphalioness72]

I got 2 minutes in before I even realized he wasn't talking with his natural accent. He's a natural.

[@janetpattison8474]

Wow, what an amazing story. He definitely deserved a pardon. If this story hasn’t already been incorporated into a movie that’s a comedy it should be!

[@stephenmkatzasc]

Having stayed at the Empress as child, a favorite of my parents I can visualize the room and windows. I can only imagine what a disaster this was and so very humerus. A brillant reading!

[@sonniepronounceds-au-ni9287]

humorous* A humerus is an upper arm bone.

[@ggmochie2615]

were there not window screens to keep flying creatures out of the room?

[@stephenmkatzasc]

Thanks for the correction… I have an old brain…

[@stephenmkatzasc]

In so many of the beautiful old hotels back in the day I don’t recall screens on the windows unless in an area of mosquitoes.

[@elmienwolvaardt7614]

@@stephenmkatzasc you tickled my funny bone! 😁🥰

[@vivienlyle13]

I’ve lived in Victoria my whole life. How have I never heard this story? Love Benedict! This is so cool

[@warrensteel9954]

I remember hearing about it in 2007. Can't say it really comes up all that often though.

[@janefreeman995]

I stayed at the Empress as a tween. My cousin, same age, and I had been to high-tea. Afterward, we got stuck in the elevator between floors. It was iconic but an adventure. It's no longer there, but there was a butterfly conservatory nearby, and I was spellbound. It was magical. Anyway, I can imagine this scene like finding nemo...the gulls demolishing this feast squawking; mine, mine, mine! Wonderful storytelling, subscribed.

[@Selkie7]

I remember that Butterfly Conservatory it was such a magical place to visit. I think it has parrots too

[@ambiej123]

There is a butterfly conservatory about 45 minutes away, very close to bouchard gardens.

[@janefreeman995]

@ambiej123 Good to know! The other one in Victoria was closed down several years ago, I think.

[@7catsmom959]

The Empress serves afternoon tea, not high tea.

[@kirkygirl]

@@ambiej123 I'm going to be *that* person, and it's Butchart Gardens. For everyone else, it's English, and pronounced as Butch-art.

[@lukaszbien2904]

We loved that letter, been at that event - the final of that Letters Live we won't forget for a LONG time. Thank you #royalalberthall and Benedict!

[@bucherrabemittendrin9344]

I was grinning tthrrouugh the whole reading until... "I'm sorry... and I went to dinner" I completely lost it! 😂😂😂

[@alianna8806]

As a country girl, as soon as he said he he left the food exposed to the outdoors and then left the dwelling, I knew roughly what was about to happen 😆

[@garrettcarrett8634]

You don’t have to be a country girl to know birds exist.

[@alianna8806]

@@garrettcarrett8634 I can assure you I have seen many people who know birds exist but don't seem to understand what they do 😂

[@alianna8806]

As well as many other wild animals for that matter. I think most people know bears exist for example, yet come out to the country and do ridiculous things and help teach bears to break into houses, dumpsters and cars. Apparently knowing of the existence is not enough. We have sensible tourists too of course who act responsibly around wild animals.

[@candyr85]

Can you imagine if he was on the first floor? He would’ve had deer, bear… mountain lions 😂

[@fredericapanon207]

​@candyr85 The Empress Hotel in Victoria is right downtown by the harbour, so large, wild animals are unlikely -- though not impossible. Coyotes, racoons, skunks do well in urban environments so they would be more likely ground based culprits. As well as free-roaming cats.

[@nancyhatcher3320]

I love Benedict & his reading of this letter was hilarious! Thank you!

[@MartaWomack]

OMG! I'd be utterly mortified, too! The poor guy! It was an experience I'd call a comedy of catastrophic errors! I really like Benedict Cumberbatch's telling of the story. He's extremely gifted.

[@hd45783]

When reading this out loud Benni probably thought to himself: "Thank God - pengwings can't fly!" XD

[@moonhunter9993]

good one

[@stever3658]

Said the farmer as he wiped his eye, Gosh, I'm glad my cows don't fly!

[@jenniferbyers1375]

Hahahah I thought about the pingwings when I heard this.

[@2BestPonies]

😂😂😂

[@Cossyc]

I understood that reference.

[@Kobula69]

I live in Victoria BC, the home of the Empress. I can confirm this is true

[@livableincome]

Hi Koebe, I lived 20 minutes walk from the Empress then I somehow I totally missed this story. I'm sure it is true...Maybe because I don't read the TC?

[@michellefox-bishop38]

Kudos to him and to the hotel for forgiving him!

[@AnneFS]

I've loved Benedict Cumberbatch in many movies and always considered him a wonderful actor but this reading of the letter is the thing that most highlights for me his incredible acting talent. I've had limited experience of acting but my sons have done more than I did and I was closely involved in helping my sons rehearse things like acting monologues, etc, suggesting to them subtle ways that they could change things to improve the delivery where every tiny inflection, look on the face, tone of voice, variation in pace and volume, etc, etc takes time to work out to find the perfect way to do each line and each section of each line and each transition to the next line and doing it over and over until it is just perfect. I mention this because, having had those experiences, I feel that I can really appreciate the actual work and skill that is involved in the way that Benedict read this letter. He delivers it in a smooth and wonderful way that just flows and totally captures the audience in the story and, in doing so, we can enjoy the story and it seems such a simple thing to read out that letter but it actually takes great talent to read it that way so that we enjoy it without really appreciating how much skill went into it. I really appreciated all the tiny, intricate changes, variations and choices that Benedict brought to the reading and how incredible his is as an actor.

[@ellenchacon5776]

How can he read this and keep his accent spot-on? What a professional

[@marshwetland3808]

My English mum who emigrated and lived here in Canada for 60+ years before she died had a stronger accent than him and she didn't have much left. He has none.

[@IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature]

It was not spot on, especially if he was supposed to be from the Maritimes. Certain words were still pronounced with his mother accent. But his north american accent is good that, being said.

[@MaMastoast]

@@marshwetland3808 Switching to an American or Canadian accent does not mean you dont have an accent, just means you have a different accent :)

[@marshwetland3808]

@@MaMastoast No, when you're doing something in a Canadian setting, it means you have no outsider accent. That's what I meant. If you cared about context you would have understood it.

[@Deborah-so8mv]

@@marshwetland3808you didn’t put it that specifically.

[@sandramark5950]

I was sitting on my hotel balcony in Victoria BC, with a beautiful view of the harbour and enjoying a bag of chips. I had a desk chair tilted back and my feet up on the railing with the sun on my face when suddenly I was swooped by seagulls trying to get my chips. I tumbled over backwards into the room tossing chips everywhere. Fortunately only 3 gulls made it into the room and I think my screeching and flailing arms must have startled them as, once they had chips in beak, they flew off!

[@alisonfraser8231]

Good lord!

[@barbarasherman4870]

Ha ha, your struggle would have been epic to see. Thx for the laugh.

[@marshwetland3808]

Damn, the seagulls in Victoria are so much worse than the ones at English Bay in Vancouver, it seems. Been there many times with ESL students and had to stop a couple from INTENTIONALLY FEEDING the damn birds.

[@kindabatooni9314]

Well read and very entertaining. Benedict Cumberbatch is really gifted.

[@notabeanie9014]

This is stuch a uniquely Victoria story lol. I don't know if it's all of Vancouver Island or just Victoria, but this is the only part of Canada I can think of that has almost no population of mosquitoes. Pretty much everywhere else, it's normal for buildings to have mesh screens in the windows to keep mosquitoes- and also incidentally other bugs, birds, and wildlife- from coming in an open window. But in Victoria, pretty much no buildings have window screens. Of course a non-local wouldn't be used to thinking about birds coming in their window! They'd until then lived entirely in a world where a screen would keep them out. It would probably have never even occurred to them. One time I lived in a building with a huge wasp nest under the eaves, a few feet from my window, that the landlord never addressed. Every summer for 3 years my studio apartment either had a small family of yellow jackets orbiting the sole ceiling light, or was a closed-window sauna full of wasp corpses. (I learned very quickly that as a wasp dies, it releases a hormone that tells other nearby wasps to assemble and be ready for a fight.) Another time I had a basement apartment with windows right at the ground. We couldn't open our windows more than an inch for fear of a very aggressive squirrel that we knew liked our yard, and I never left an open window unattended because I was afraid of worms or mice or other critters wriggling in. Most dramatically, I once was coming home from an all nighter and two consecutive 12h work shifts, when my roommate called me to say she had just come home to find pigeons in the living room of our attic apartment. Her overnight guest had left the kitchen window open and gone to work, not knowing about the nesting pair in our eaves. They did much what the seagulls in this story did: eat a bunch of food, contaminate every surface. But one of them, either in luxurious comfort or in confusion and distress, had laid a perfect grey egg on our sofa. Victoria is a magical place.

[@deandupont5503]

Good lord. Not even Joe Walsh could conceive a better way of trashing a hotel room.

[@tammiewilson5185]

Respect the wit of your comment!

[@writerconsidered]

hilarious reference. Younger generation will completely miss it.

[@amyschuetze1440]

Benedict did a great job, reminiscent of the late Stuart McLean’s Vinyl Cafe cadence. ❤

[@buddyneher9359]

My thoughts too. Reminiscent of "Dave Cooks the Turkey"

[@emotionalrelation997]

as a thrown shoe which is still somewhat traumatised by entire ordeal, I was there when it happened and can assure you that this is Absolutely TRUE!

[@DaveBlackburnsMixTape]

Brilliantly read by Benedict.

[@R___________________]

I was once ambushed by an enormous gang of city seagulls and pigeons. I'd finished a long, hard, horrible day at work, having not eaten a single thing. I finally came upon the McDonald's at Sydney Entertainment Centre (Australia) on my two hour commute home. I got my cheeseburger and exited the restaurant, praising the heavens that my starvation would soon end. I look around, and about 50-60 seagulls and pigeons stare at me, and at each other. I get this overwhelmingly foreboding feeling that the kill bill Uma Thurman music (when she finds her next person on her kill list) is playing in their minds, their little head movements communicating their conspiratorial plan amongst each other. Then, all at once, in perfect synchronicity, they fly straight at me. All I can see, feel, and hear is an ocean of white and grey feathers swarming me and the suffocating sound of 100 pairs of wings flapping. The flock then flies off to resume their positions in the outdoor mall. Every random person is pointing and laughing at me as I stare my hand, clutching the remaining quarter of my shredded cheeseburger. I throw the remnants of my long anticipated meal in the bin and walk home embarrassed, angry, and feeling like a survivor of the Hitchcock film The Birds. I had wine for dinner that day. I'm just glad it was just before uploading funny videos to the socials was a thing.

[@jefftitterington7600]

If cell phones had cameras at the time, a video will be uploaded. You cannot hide! 🙂

[@stephanieyee9784]

I had a seagull steal my potato scallop from my hand just as I was about to pop said potato scallop into my mouth. I had hankered after potato scallops all day so was a bit bummed about the theft. This happened at the Light Rail stop outside Sydney Town Hall.

[@stinkyfungus]

Seagulls gonna come down, poke you in the coconut.

[@R___________________]

@@stephanieyee9784 shameless plebs, they should set up a police task force about these criminals. I empathise completely

[@R___________________]

@stinkyfungus they are cunning, opportunistic and always hungry, much like a distant ex of mine. Underestimate them at your own peril

[@anjakeller6612]

I am sitting here watching KZbin while in other parts of the world, dramatic scenes like this take place. I love the thought

[@ksveness]

What a fantastic story! I've had high tea at the old Empress. I hope Nick got the forgiveness he sought.

[@pjbfny]

he did! the ban is lifted :)

[@LaurieSwenson]

I love this so much. I would listen to Benedict Cumberbatch read anything!

[@chanieweiss4288]

My. Cumberbatch's reading is very neat and understated.

[@MW-on1ft]

I'm quite familiar with these seagulls. As someone who has lived and cruised aboard my boat in the very region in mentioned in this letter I have seen the havoc these scavengers can do. The do in fact have an incredible digestive system. I have observed one literally swallow a decent size starfish whole. It look like a cartoon as the starfish's arms stretched the gulls throat leaving no doubt it was a full and intact starfish. Now what comes out of backside of the gull is a runny, white like substance which when it hardens on a boats nice canvas covers becomes a concrete like substance which can be harder than hell to try and remove as demonstrated by an absentee dock / boat neighbor of mine.

[@bravosierra2447]

I’m dying here 😂

[@MW-on1ft]

@@bravosierra2447 I wish I had it on video but this was shortly before smart phones. I didn't even have a digital camera, too expensive! There is more to the story both before and after lol. But not as funny as that starfish swallow!

[@andrewcharles459]

My father had a particular dislike of seagulls. When we went fishing, he'd give them bread soaked in Ouzo and watch the drunken antics.

[@livableincome]

I can vouch for your story. I too have seen a seagull eat a starfish whole. Quite amazing to see this pointy thing go down. Those were the old days. Back when we had starfish and not climate change.

[@jenniferbee1500]

Last week KZbin showed me a video of a Seagull downing a whole rat. Not too surprising, really

[@jannepeltonen2036]

Oh my. My worst seagull encounter was in the local marketplace where there's ice cream kiosks. I'd buy an ice cream, start eating it, and a seagull comes out of nowhere, stands on my wrists, grabs the ball of ice cream from the cone, and flies away. This story was another level entirely.

[@cwisteenuh]

Omg i was just recalling an identical incident when my grandmother my mom and I went for ice cream, when I was about 10. We sat down at a picnic bench and were eating ice-cream cones and a seagull swooped in and stole a ball of ice-cream right off my grandmoms cone!

[@6yjjk]

I was queuing for fish and chips on the pier at Llandudno, being eyed up from all directions by hungry gulls. (Come to think of it, when is a gull ever NOT hungry?) The chap in front paid, picked up his fish and chips, turned arouYOINK! A whacking great herring gull cruised right between us, didn't alter course, height or speed, just extended its beak and was shredding that fish mid-air with fifty of its mates before anyone really knew what happened. I asked them to wrap mine.

[@ClaireOSullivanAuthor]

@@6yjjk lol!

[@fredericapanon207]

Also, I remember sitting on the beach in Vancouver with my two year old niece to have a snack. After about five minutes, we departed because we were surrounded by an ever-shrinking circle of seagulls. Rather menacing to tell the truth.

[@janetgao6201]

Omg that’s hilarious and made even more so by the reading! This made my day

[@janefreeman995]

That would be a fun reading at high tea at the empress.

[@yesterdayitrained]

I was drinking water and ended up spitting it out because I was laughing so hard!

[@TheMonk72]

I was amused until he mentioned the high tea. Now there are tears and my abs are sore.

[@Fudog1138]

I unfortunately am one of those people that these types of things happen too. I will be 52 in another month. It doesn’t seem to have slowed down. While my friends enjoy it sometimes, at other times it becomes quite inconvenient. Nobody wants to stand next to me in a rain storm for example. Even indoors. It’s kind of accepted that you just may have an odd adventure if you spend any amount of time with me. I don’t do it on purpose. Sometimes things in my life seem like they are from a Douglas Adams novel. I don’t know how to stop those things from happening to me. I role with them, shrug and say “what are ya gonna do” a lot. I am happily married. To a very patient woman.

[@NorthernKitty]

I understand completely!! I had a friend of mine who HATED to go ANYWHERE in public with me because something bizarre ALWAYS happened. "Can't we just stay in and watch a movie on cable?" Never anything I myself did, it seemed like I was just a magnet for absolute chaos. On one occasion, for example, some mischievous kids had a starter pistol and fired it in the middle of a crowded downtown sidewalk. Panic ensued, everyone diving for cover thinking there was an active shooter. Seemingly within seconds police cars zoomed in and shut down every intersection and began searching for the "shooter", no one could leave, some cops had guns drawn at the ready but pointed at the ground, making everyone nervous. They finally found the kids and realized it was a fake gun, but everyone was shaken. On another occasion, a "calmer" story but truly bizarre, we were at a small diner when the waitress came over to take our order. In the middle of ordering she burst into tears and then pulled up a chair and sat down and started telling her life story and all the tragic things that had befallen her that ended with her having to work as a waitress in this diner, as if we were longtime friends and she had come over to our house to visit. We couldn't interrupt her, she would just talk right over us. This went on for some 20 or 30 minutes before she finally stood up and said, "you know what, I quit" and walked right out of the diner. My friend Harry looked at me and said, "it's your fault I'm not getting a meal". It was true, that EVERY time we went anywhere together - without fail - there would be the most insane, most unexpected, most outrageous event that would suddenly happen "out of the blue" when you least expected it. And he blamed me for it. But Harry didn't know the weirdest part of this. I realized years later that these things only ever happened to me when HE was with me. Never before I met him, never any other time with other friends, and never since we parted ways many years ago. So it was either Harry that attracted it or some weird chemistry between us.

[@nathalie_desrosiers]

Well, I guess bad situations lead to good stories...

[@moonwalker091000]

This was so entertaining, absolutely loved his narrative of the entire situation. So well done, thanks for the post :o)

[@oberonsghost]

I’ve seen the sea gulls in BC, and they are ENORMOUS.

[@GetOutsideYourself]

I have a new life's goal - Cumberbatch reads my letter.

[@johannebaker9730]

I’d love to hear the hotels reply to this one ! 😂

[@Drnaynay]

Great Canadian response when the woman from housekeeping comes: "I'm sorry".

[@carolinaskinner5990]

It's not "Sah-ree". it's "sore-ee"

[@Drnaynay]

@@carolinaskinner5990 Showin' off yer knowledge of Canadianese, eh?

[@tommunyon2874]

I still have some Murchie's tea bags from the Empress gift shop. Can I drink it now without this coming to mind? The incident wherein a civilian contractor to our Navy unit in Washington State put a kielbasa in his bag at a Chicago stopover, only to find a mouldy mess when he finally got to Whidbey Island, seems quite minor by comparison. He said he didn't realize it required refrigeration, since he thought it was like Oberto's sausage.

[@Redipstick]

That he reads it without an English accent is great!

[@annamarielewis7078]

I love this actor doing things like this. His voice is lovely. He looks totally normal and sounds divine 👍💝

[@VickyFord]

Fantastic job telling that story. I like Benedict Cumberbatch even more now. You just can't trust those darn seagulls.....ever!!!! The Empress is a gorgeous hotel and I can just imagine that room's state after all was done. 😂 I laughed the whole way through. And so glad it wasn't me! And yes...Choose Love. 💕

[@livableincome]

My sister and I, as little kids, made a slightly lesser mess at the Sylvia hotel in Vancouver. We were Alberta girls newly acquainted with the wonders of the sea. Most especially small crabs we collected and put in the drawers provided in our room....We were there for a week....Mom discovered our recently living treasures late. She aired the drawers out at our open windows. Good thing seagulls didn't show up. And yes, my sister and I have paid karma for all those little lives lost to our childhood curiosities.

[@carolmelton9067]

@@livableincome I loved the Sylvia, I stayed there several times, I think in the late 80s. Unfortunately I got very sick to my stomach one night. I felt so bad for the housekeeper the next day. That hotel had such character, and a great location.

[@hagbard72]

Lived 20 years in Victoria (including the time of this incident) and I can say that the seagulls in Victoria are extremely aggressive and love any offerings you make to them.

[@laureliechapman1267]

Benedict Cumberbatch replicates a North American accent almost perfectly! More US than Canadian, but bravo!

[@Paulafan5]

Sounds like a West Coast Canadian accent to me. Or maybe Seattle accent, which is pretty much the same thing.

[@animerlon]

THANKS MUCHLY KZbin!! For the recommendation. This came at me totally out of left field, which made it even funnier. I feel a weird sense of pride that he is a fellow Canadian.

[@theavandenberg6876]

I just wonder why he didn't go to the front-desk with his request for a cooling place for his pepperoni. Highly entertaining story though.

[@andrewcharles459]

Right? It's a major hotel. They're going to have a walk-in in the kitchen.

[@reginabillotti]

I would have just gone out and bought a styrofoam cooler and ice.

[@myladycasagrande863]

Sounds like the dude was young, and perhaps a bit clueless...

[@mariag.8242]

Justout of the Navy, first important job - I can remember my first major conference and if I’d had a suitcase full of food I wouldn’t have dared ask the hotel staff for help. Heck, the concierge refused to help me get to a local attraction when she found out I didn’t have a car and was planning to take the bus. All she said was “It’s a bad neighbourhood,” which was clearly nuts. Buses aren’t neighbourhoods. Turns out that in many parts of the US, a “bad” or “high crime” neighbourhood is “I’m not racist” white people talk for it’s where black people are 🤦‍♀️

[@Stormbrise]

I remember this incident coming up on Acquisitions Inc live stream. I did not get the reference, living over the pond but now I do. Thanks for the video

[@alfredcodl5400]

I used to live in Ottawa. When I was twenty me and my partner at the time were walking behind parliament where the cat sanctuary used to be. The caretaker was this old grizzled guy who every day around noon fed the pigeons and seagulls. It was amazing to behold. The seagulls are lined up in what looked like a battalion and they followed a strict order of eating - very orderly. The pigeons were in front and just sorta wandering around pecking but the seagulls were very organized. The old guy was just cackling away as he was feeding them. It was magical. I felt like he was some magician or wizard or something with the birds as his familiars.

[@deadmanriding1118]

Gulls are definitely wyrd birds. I once drove by a 3/4 mile+ long, military perfect line, of 1000s of seagulls standing on a parallel service road, evenly spaced, all of them facing west to the sunset- completely silent, immobile. We stopped to take a pic & watch for 15 minutes & finally left before even 1 gull had flown away. From a distance, they looked exactly like someone painted a solid "do not pass line" on a dirt road.

[@msamour]

This story hits really close to home. I spent 6 years on the West Coast in Esquimalt in the Reg Force between 1997 and 2003. I used to go out in the Empress Hotel to do photography. The Empress is the poshest hotel in Victoria. I miss the buskers in the Inner harbour also. It was a great place in the summer.

[@beverlykrebs4372]

I just love Benedict Cumberbatch! He has an amazing voice & is one of my favorite actors! Just don't ever ask him to recite anything with the word "penguin" in it. He has a history of mispronouncing that word! I saw a clip of him on The Graham Norton show & I was laughing so hard I almost spit some soda out of my nose! He really could not say penguin!!!

[@fredericapanon207]

Ooh someone should get him to read it in Polish. It is spelled pingwin where the w sounds like a v.

[@fn-2187bb8]

Oh, but for a window screen, would we be deprived of this masterpiece.

[@Paulafan5]

They'd peck through the screen and knock it off to get to that much food.

[@cmtippens9209]

How do they get ahold of all these letters to read?! 🤔 I have really enjoyed most of them.

[@annasahlstrom6109]

I have stayed at that Empress hotel many times with my family and I love that place. It is absolutely gorgeous and fit for a queen.

[@JennaMcQuaid]

I know this is a real story but it could totally be from an episode of Cabin Pressure

[@thejbeeful]

Yellow car😆

[@rachaelknudsen8801]

Russell Crowe!

[@gschear1]

@@thejbeeful Yellow room...

[@Guitarbarella]

Can we just take time to appreciate the fact he is not speaking in his natural british accent..❤

[@Guitarbarella]

@@s_m_v what do you mean? If you are British you have a British accent, depending where you come from within Britain you have a REGIONAL variation OF a British accent…what is fake about that? England is a British country and he grew up in London, that makes him both English AND British…lol..hate to break it to you if you are from the US (wouldn’t surprise me judging by the comment) that all those people that were on the Mayflower had British accents…lol

[@Guitarbarella]

@@s_m_v it’s not a joke if what you wrote ONLY you think is actually funny! .what you wrote in response to my comment WAS actual drivel but then that’s all you obviously understand-lol like Sure, sure it’s a “joke” we believe you…lol 😎 nice back-peddle on ya ignorance but no cigar!

[@Guitarbarella]

If that WAS humour that was an pretty pathetic attempt at it..that’s all I’m sayin..lol

[@Guitarbarella]

@@s_m_v yeah ditto on that! Lol

[@andreagriffiths3512]

Omg this is gold!

[@LettersLive]

It's hilarious, isn't it? 😆

[@andreagriffiths3512]

@@LettersLive laughed until I cried 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tirsden]

I'm equating the housekeeper's arrival to his room being exactly the same as the bathroom scene from the movie Accepted.

[@iwantcheesypuffs]

This sounds just about like every other hotel travel outing I've ever had, minus the lifetime ban, seagulls, wet shoe, and pepperoni.

[@linebrunelle1004]

seriously. I'm not a Cumberbatch fan, but he adapts accents easily and I seriously appreciate it.

[@ArmenianChristmas]

Amazing. I wonder how much Vinyl Cafe he listened to in preparation for this? No one told a story of banal calamity like Stuart Maclean (RIP)

[@kimberlygmyz1055]

The story is absolutely true. As an Acquaintance of Nick’s he is a magnet for this kind of stuff. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I would pay money to hear Nick read the letter. His delivery would have had his signature giggles through it. Well done Benedict!

[@Hklbrries]

I can see how this easily could have happened.

[@oddsandexabytes]

Thank you! I needed a good laugh. Benedict Cumberbatch is a treasure

[@hendryde-lux4287]

This is incredibly funny but I'm dying to know what effect it had on his job prospects and if they lifted the ban lol

[@hendryde-lux4287]

Ah it was lifted

[@Barefoot_Joe]

Already stated it was lifted

[@jackielinde7568]

Well, seeing he's still with the same employer after 18 years since the incident, not as much as you'd think.

[@hendryde-lux4287]

OK it's Saturday and I'm hungover and unobservant

[@beverleypeacock]

@@hendryde-lux4287 I missed it too..I'm not hung over, just old😎

[@TDogCA]

As a penguin, I really wish we had been the ones in the room just so we could hear Benedict say “pengwing”.