BENGALI MARRIAGE, WEDDING & DIVORCE - EP 18 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW

#WEDDING #MARRIAGE #DOCUMENTARY
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[@abdirazakmohamedmuhaajin]

Respect for the Bengali Culture, I see Bangladesh as my second home as I lived there 6 years. I am Somali 🇸🇴❤🇧🇩

[@xuserakx]

🇧🇩❤️🇸🇴

[@ThorErAbbaOdin]

Love from Bangladesh ❤❤

[@jacktheladhub]

Somalis & Bengalis have a bond no one can break ❤

[@abdirazakmohamedmuhaajin]

@@xuserakx Thank you bro. 😍

[@abdirazakmohamedmuhaajin]

@@ThorErAbbaOdin Donnobad bhai

[@hafizurrahmanrahman2646]

After watching this,I feel as though my dad’s views was purely Islamic and I can’t find a fault in him .my father never forced us 5 siblings he was blessed man.i am from a Bengali family.

[@_-FreePalestine-_]

Same with my dad and all of my friends' parents. Alhamdhulillah

[@shayed9930]

Alhamdulillah

[@Abu_0121]

From Bangladesh, FREE PALESTINE!! FREE KASHMIR! FREE ALL THOSE OPPRESSED!!

[@matt-jc4ly]

Including all the women oppressed by sharia too right?

[@lunastarr1925]

Insyallah...Ameen2

[@knowledgepower2001]

How about free Bangladeshi from the owami league and tyrant dictator hasina

[@MegalodonDolphin]

Ay kashmir is already free from terrorists and Pakistanis because of Indian Army. You don't have to cry about them.

[@blazingblade7061]

you didn't add free bangladesh from the oppressions of the government against religious Muslims

[@mdashrafulsarder5157]

I'm from Bangladesh. Free Palestine

[@mj_youtube]

Free Free Palestine! 🇵🇸

[@uthman-lz3nk]

You being human is enough to support and wanting to Save Falestine, Only a khabeezah would want the oppressor and jahannamis.

[@abdullahabir3134]

"The hardest people to give dawah is your parents." 100%

[@Tressa-Rei-Tressa]

You should do an episode about successful marriage featuring Muslim couples who have been married for at least a decade.

[@siminshaikh7535]

My parents got separated after 12 years.

[@iNikkah]

This is why I set up my pre marital service, all our coaches have to be married more than 20 years

[@mags7054]

@@siminshaikh7535 There are people who have gotten divorced after even twice and three times longer married and even more, that does not lessen the values and lessons they could pass on to help other people avoid getting divorced. By the human perspective it is sad that your parents got divorced, but Allah knows best.

[@Tressa-Rei-Tressa]

​​@@siminshaikh7535 I'm sad to hear that. I know divorce can happen after a lifetime together, however we have so much more to learn from those with many years of experience over young people who have never or only been married for a few years. There is a wealth of experience to speak from even from divorce, where we can learn from their mistakes, learn what went wrong and broke a couple in the end.

[@abydx]

​@@iNikkah That's a great idea and service. You should share details so others can benefit.

[@MGold00]

Im a black woman Revert & I find that certain ppl value culture more than religion. Im grateful that as Im in the process of getting married. The person(Arab) Im getting married to his family a r amazing towards me.

[@Radec913]

Specially the older generation. They been colonized

[@liai2375]

MashaAllah may Allah swt bless your marriage, I'm also a black woman and struggling to find a partner for marriage, my parents are reverts, and I sometimes feel like I don't fit in anywhere in the muslim community

[@IA67676]

I agree it genuinely hurts to see that.

[@piqueny8872]

Culture is used to manipulate control and abuse women Bengali culture allows abuse of all kinds to wards mothers wife sister Bengalis do not follow religion because it’s doesn’t fit there greedy selfish entitled lifestyle

[@Fine-babe1]

@@liai2375Asalaam Alaikum may Allah bless you with a good Muslim husband and make everything easy for you. Ameen!

[@roosworld4910]

Some men don't want to marry more than one woman. Respect that. They just want a quality intimacy with one woman. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't make them leas of a man.

[@j86485]

He never said that but if you put all factors away such as headaches, financially, etc, then all men do want more than one woman as it's within our biological nature. But that's in an ideal world, the reality is women are headaches lol

[@Zaitoon15]

💯

[@nazmunEva]

That too they choose a lot...as the akhi said, lightest skin, height, rich family, having job etc etc. I'm from Dhaka and it's Must here, other parts of the Bangladesh more less like this

[@Sima123miah]

I am Sylheti Bengali and got married to my Punjabi Sikh revert husband 10 years ago and during that time my family gave me such a hard time to the point my dad completely disowned me and my mum didn’t talk to me until I was pregnant with my eldest kids. Took time but my family love my husband now and he is the reason my family appreciate Islam & started practicing. Few months back my youngest sister got married to her German Turkish husband and my mum was excited for her Alhamdulillah! I was very strong minded on the fact that I did nothing against Islam by marrying outside my culture. Just to add my husband was a revert 2 years before we got married ❤

[@DaRunTingsCrew]

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing.

[@Kalashriffi]

Nothing awesome about this authubillah. Your marriage is null and invalid, you married without your fathers consent. May Allah give him his justice!

[@Animeow08]

@@Kalashriffi is her father gonna live with her husband you clown 🤡🤡🤡

[@ChadLady-he9ik]

Alhumdulillah wish u a happy life

[@jewelweed6880]

​​@@Kalashriffidepends on the school of law you follow. It is not black and white. You need to know more before cursing anyone.

[@Zaitoon15]

@AliDawah It’s really sad that the first male panelist was being pressured into accepting polygamy despite clearly expressing his reasons why it’s not for him. Not all men are polygamous and to make out all men MUST have this nature, is a massive generalisation and not true. With the current polygamy obsession amongst male muslim influencers, lets remember that monogamy is the sunnah which our Prophet SAW practiced for the majority of his life whilst he was married to Khadijah RA, the love of his life for 25 years of his youth. The Prophet SAW professed his love for Khadijah RA was superior to all others on many occasions. It’s completely normal for many men to align with THIS sunnah and feel fulfilled by one wife. For this reason, I completely disagree with your attempts to make any man feel abnormal if they aren’t into polygamy! He SAW only practiced polygamy as an elderly man following the death of Khadija RA, for political reasons and during times of war when many men had been killed. Not to seek prettier and younger wives for his personal satisfaction. Rather the opposite, he married widows and elderly women with the exception of Aisha RA- will the men of today practice this sunnah of marrying elderly non-virgins? Also there are some cultures, where polygamy doesn’t suit their dynamics. In Bengali family dynamics where extended families often live together, lots of in-law clashes, jealous mother in laws - adding polygamy to the mix would be an absolute toxic disaster. So brother Ali I discourage your attempts to convince brothers it’s something they must all be thinking and doing - you are being extremely naive to the consequences. You need to accept, in some cultures its not a norm because it just doesn’t work with their cultural dynamics - so please stop forcing polygamy down everyone’s throat. Furthermore, to assume that generations of monogamous marriages wont affect a man or women’s preferences is extremely naive. Remember the Prophet SAW even forbade his son-in-law from remarrying as he knew it would hurt his beloved daughter Fatima RA who did not want polygamy. I find this propaganda many Muslim youtubers are pushing very irresponsible and badly timed. We are in a cost of living crisis, life in the UK is expensive, and many men struggle to put a roof over one wife and maintain just one family. The reality is, polygamy will put many families under substantial financial strain. With divorce rates also being so high, couples are struggling to maintain just one marriage, surely it makes more sense for muslim KZbinrs/influencers to focus on helping couples make one marriage a success, instead of preoccupying men with vulgar and selfish fantasies of multiple young wives.

[@zarinkhan1737]

this. PREACH.

[@maz4488]

Also the ‘don’t think about the stress or anxiety that comes with it’, but you SHOULD think about that. THAT is what makes or breaks polygynous households (not talking about whether the first wife accepts or not), but can the MAN deal with everything that comes with it. Also, feeling attraction towards another woman does not mean they automatically have to bed them. What happened to lowering the gaze, or not marrying unless you can fulfil the rights, or marrying to fulfil a sunnah, not simply your desires?

[@farihashamim6860]

THANK YOU! To add to what you said, I've heard from a marriage course that there have been multiple cases of men who opted for polygamy only to regret it down the line. The video failed to address the rest of the verse "... but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." Also the fact that the concept of 4 wives didn't come as an allowance for men to marry multiple wives but rather as a limit/deterrent to what was happening at the time.

[@farihashamim6860]

Scary times we live in. Imagine the kind of effect it could have on impressionable minds to have such practices with such serious consequences be shoved down one's throats so callously! It's honestly disappointing how in a lot of cases women are told to go out of their way to compromise and accept the notion of her significant other to bring in a second wife instead of teaching the men to be more responsible and be content with one wife. Smh May Allah protect us from all harm and all evils. Ameen

[@nerdrabbit16]

That's the best and logical comment I've ever read❤

[@IxPuzzle]

Coming from an Indian culture, I resonate with every point that was made in this video. Allah grant our parents understanding and make it easy for those looking to get married.

[@hassyg4083]

Indian culture any different? lol

[@IxPuzzle]

@@hassyg4083 not really. The thought process exactly the same. However, there are differences when it comes to the actual wedding preparations etc. I would say the Bengali culture are more adventurous lol

[@Pikkinmink7]

​@@hassyg4083india, Pakistan and Bangladesh was one country before, the culture is 95% similar

[@hassyg4083]

@@Pikkinmink7 one country made by the British?

[@Pikkinmink7]

@@hassyg4083 it was divided by the British

[@DiamondPrincess7891]

Wow so sad, my bangali parents were nothing like this, understanding how lucky I am 🤲🏻 Alhamdullilah

[@abzeeno]

Im bengali and my dad left behind all the backwards bengali culture and raised us strictly only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. I told him im marrying a jamaican revert sister and he's fine with it.

[@piqueny8872]

Really must of hated the culture! Good for your father sounds like a well respected man of deen

[@abzeeno]

A somali sheikh in london made him realise what the Qur'aan and sunnah says, and he saw that his culture and family traditions came from his bengali hindu ancestors and not from Islam. So he left it all behind and made sure to raise his kids only upon Qur'aan and sunnah. @piqueny8872

[@kaystar1844]

Your father sounds incredible. Please pass our salaams to him and thank you for breaking the barrier.

[@MuhammadBinZafar1]

Many dua for your father. A true Muslim dad. I wish I could talk to you.

[@abudanyal9929]

Ma sha Allah TabrakAllah deep

[@sareeyemanusqaame8723]

The girl whose mom told Allah cursed her with a dark skin is prettier than all and I’m not saying the other two are not pretty, her skin, facial structure and eyes are all pretty

[@Yattakullah]

A agree with you bruh

[@sareeyemanusqaame8723]

@@syedahalimaparviz1295 you liked your own comment? 🤣

[@beyourself9293]

A lot of Bengali families practice shirk without them knowing ! Well done to these sisters educating their parents.🎉

[@accordingtome5468]

I grew up with just a mum from the age of 3 ,there were 6 of us in a bengali household.my mum asked us to find people for ourselves as long as they are practising and they treat us well ,but did not want us to date anyone because it was haraam.I married a revert english brother just 16 years ago when it was still not that common but she agreed reagrdless of people's views .I think mainly it is the father who has the final say,they're a bit more strict,there is also outside influence from friends of the same background.Its brainswashing,they dont practise islam they practise their culture. After my marriage,my sister got married to a revert,and so did other members of the family. we need to show our families that islam is the only requirement.If they practise,they have taqwa,they udnerstand the do's and don't and to be honest,because of the culture clashes your less likely to get into eachothers lives.People from the same backgrounds have too much in common,they get too involved.If culture creeps into the household so does the rest of the family.We keep our family affairs private and no one delves into any one elses business. Culture breeds gossip and backward thinking,leave it at the door,its not needed.

[@Uservisible-pl4ux]

Love this. Love Islam for its diversity when it comes to who to marry as long as Islam is the focal point and we are taking the prophet (pbuh) as our role model.

[@sksaqlainali]

very inspiring. Jazakallah khair

[@AliSidTex]

Just remember don't discount everything from your parent's culture just because of a few issues. When you grow up you will realize that their culture is a net positive compared to English culture which has far more issues. Immigrant's children who grow up in the West like us become Westernized and so we start seeing fault in our parent's behavior because it doesn't conform to what we experience in 90% of our life. So once you notice a few problems in the parent's culture, you start assuming the whole thing is weird. But really your just unknowingly assimilating to Western culture.

[@Fortifier1021]

Make sure you don't replace the culture based on Islam with a culture based on liberalism.

[@AliSidTex]

@@Fortifier1021 exactly

[@MohammedAdris_]

[02:08] Cultural episode on buali marriages and weddings [06:19] Bengali marriage customs vary by household and culture. [08:26] Two approaches to marriage - traditional and modern. [12:16] Stand your ground in marriage decisions [14:14] Bowing down to elders is a traditional Bengali custom [17:53] Breaking the cycle and mindset change before marriage [19:33] Encountered cultural barriers while seeking marriage at Eastland mosque. [22:42] Challenges of merging two cultures [24:17] Cultural preferences in marriage and the potential harm of prioritizing societal expectations over religious guidelines. [27:30] Challenging to educate Bengali parents on sensitive topics [29:02] Educating parents about religious beliefs and addressing physical abuse [32:04] Respectful communication with parents during difficult situations [33:38] Discussion on polygamy in Bengali culture [36:36] Emotional intelligence is key in polygamous relationships. [38:07] Men need to understand and support women emotionally. [41:12] Choosing between two women for marriage [42:49] Discussion on polygamy and emotional responsibility [46:06] Men may love their wives and still want another woman due to cultural programming [47:32] Discussion on skin color preferences in Bengali culture and its impact on marriage [50:53] Bengali marriage customs involve flirtatious banter and playful acts between in-laws and potential spouses. [52:30] Bengali wedding customs and traditions [55:58] Bengali weddings include traditional rituals and expenses. [57:32] Bengali wedding negotiations and purchases [1:00:50] Marital disputes in Bengali culture [1:02:28] Bengali divorce often involves one-sided intervention. [1:05:42] The challenges and complexities of Bengali marriages and divorces. [1:07:12] Cultural influences on divorce and marriage [1:10:18] Importance of morning and evening routine [1:11:58] Bengali divorce involves division of land and money. [1:15:11] Love is not everything in marriage [1:16:45]The show aims to help people understand the dynamics of marriage

[@Ch00mbaZCh0clits]

Thank you so much!!

[@MuhammadBinZafar1]

I am a Bengali and this is too true! Bengali post-marriage culture is really toxic. There are often always clashes between the mother-in-law and the wife. Stories of non-clashing loving relations are rare. Thanks @AliDawah. Us Bangladeshis should have had this discussion in our media. Much earlier and much often. That's a bit of a shame for us. This discussion is truly comprehensive as both sides get to present their cases. I can't imagine any better way to tackle this immensely painful issue - that causes married Muslims on both sides to cry or be stressed beyond words. Even Shaykh Abdurrahman Hassan from @AMAUofficial talked briefly about the problems in Bengali marriages. This is truly a century-old societal and cultural problem in this region. I heard the same stories from my grandma and my mother. And my aunties. Throughout the country. All corners. I don't want this to propagate any longer. Not to my wife. Not to my sisters.

[@MuhammadBinZafar1]

I am immensely shocked how many problems and evil cultural practices creep into a society when the people don't adopt the way of the Salaf. Not just regular shameless desires (e.g. evil flirts with potential spouses and in-law sisters), but also outright shirk (e.g. touching elders' feet and them getting offended if not done) adopted from neighbouring Hindu culture. Also, outright evil deprivation of women's right in terms of inheritence by her own brothers. I ask Allah to guide these people or just make them taste a bit of His wrath. These people make so many women cry. Her own brothers deny her right to her father's property worth millions in our currency. So many women of this region are gonna enjoy justice in their Akhirah because how much deprived and oppressed they were. I don't have a sister. I am not married. My father divided his father's inheritance according to the book of Allah. Alhamdulillah! Still I find these things furious! Our scholars of sunnah warn people day and night about this. Some men are secularists. Some men are Muslims by name and deny their own sisters' rights regardless!

[@saidurrahman4311]

Thank you once again brother Ali this episode into Bengali marriages, I am also Bangladeshi and a lot of work needs to be done especially educating our elders so that their children are also on the same page as them and will gain confidence in following the islamic traditions and Sunnah.

[@piqueny8872]

Bengalis worship there forefathers culture because it’s agree with theirs selfishness entitlement and greed. Religion give respect rights responsibilities for Everyone Even children have rights yet the culture still obeys family honor even if it’s means abusing the mom wife or daughters

[@ABC-xo2xv]

As a bangladeshi I can say marriage has become the hardest thing in our country.That's why nowadays adultery is being normalised. (Na'ujubillah).Also the govt. of bangladesh is an anti-islamic entity.Pray for us. We don't know what's happening in the future . It's the only muslim country which has no border with another muslim country

[@suf-star7866]

No it isn't.... You forget Bosnia

[@mphone312]

Religious Muslims (e.g tabligis etc) are not facing these problems in Bangladesh

[@piqueny8872]

It’s was never a Muslim country full of idolising culture worship Bollywood Indian seek traditions forced cousin marriages bride marriage to old nasty men abusive hidden marriages Mothers daughters treated like Sex slaves Bangladesh is and was never a Muslim country This is why the immigrants are applying for western countries to marry for the passport

[@azmolhossain9244]

do you care about few or majority.@@mphone312

[@Skutnu]

Nope it is anti Arab. Too many bengalis with massive traumas from the past Arab invasions 😂 the Bengali people and their rich historic culture is sick of the Arabism that overtook our culture the last 4-5 centuries so machetes come out quick. You should leave if it’s a problem.

[@xperi3nces]

Great conversation & certainly a breath of fresh air looking at something like this Vs the red pill conversation from Miami selling ladies lacking intelligence, proper clothing, careers, pride, shame etc. Compare East to West standards, I think the question answers itself. There will always be challenges but certainly great conversation 🙏🏽

[@abdihussein8723]

Wallahi Ali, you are so good for the ummah. May allah protect you and your family❤️🤲🏾

[@WisdombyKay]

That’s why it’s so important for us to educate ourself in Deeni matters. We should learn from our parents mistake and make sure we don’t carry on their traumas to our children. No parent wants bad for their child. We just need to make sure we always speak to our parents in a respectful manner and you will notice that Allah will open their hearts to what’s Haq

[@THE_VALF_]

Gald, someone is talking about this. Thanks for addressing the Bengali Issue Brother Ali! My mom is like that, too. May Allah make it easy for our Bengali brothers and sisters ✨️

[@IA67676]

I'm from the uk with bangladeshi descent but I'm grateful I don't have relatives who suffered from this

[@bangtanz7689]

Thank you for addressing the toxic colourism issue, your kind words were very comforting, may Allah reward you

[@SRTV2022]

Colourism exists in all races. Lets be real. Not just bengalis. Blacks say lighty and darky to eachother, whites cuss ginger n pale people. Asians fair n dark.. its a human thing. Not cultures.

[@sareeyemanusqaame8723]

@@SRTV2022it’s a white supremacy disease that they injected the whole humanity. We need to liberate our minds

[@Fortifier1021]

It's not based on "Bengali culture", it's there in a lot of places in the world.

[@hassyg4083]

@@Fortifier1021 yeh bollywood

[@brcey]

@@SRTV2022still an issue. People think dark skin is inferior.. That’s where the issue comes. Difference in appearance has nothing to do with the value of a person & Allah doesn’t accept this evil behavior. I’m lighter than every brother on this panel excluding Ali and still experience it with so called “Muslims” because my skin tone isn’t white enough😂

[@mangaanime17]

the refusal of the bowing down to touch feet? makes me smile, i did this to my father in 2002 times when i found out it was haram, my father forced everyone to do it, when it was my turn, i was like "no" because my nana told me it was haram and when he asked? i quoted it, he gave me the biggest slap round my face 🤣 he was so angry, i felt great i didnt wanna touch his foot fungus astafurillah 🤣🤣🤣

[@j86485]

He slapped your face so hard that even I felt it 😭

[@mangaanime17]

@@j86485 🤣😂🤣imagine the 90's level bollywood sound affect, "TaaaaSHHH" thats the noise it made when he clarted me, that hand flew from one end of the room to the next 🤣🤦‍♀ the khobis knew no better it was 20 odd years ago its cool lol 😂 😂

[@j86485]

@@mangaanime17 There will be some thunder sounds and close-up camera shots on both your faces for like 5 minutes 😂

[@hanshah_]

@@j86485 I felt it too 😭

[@MuhammadBinZafar1]

He really did? Man, you're brave. Go save Palestine!

[@mchowdhury3184]

Thank you for inviting them. As a Bengali they said all the issues that this culture faces

[@asma-ii6hl]

One of my favorite episodes. Mashallah well spoken brothers and sisters. ❤️

[@fatimab121]

Alhumdulliah it’s really good that you guys are speaking up on this subject. Great video and In Shaa Allah it benefits others.

[@libanyolob8384]

Respect to all of you brothers & sisters from somalia 🇸🇴

[@sksaqlainali]

As a Bengali, from India .. I AGREE WITH EVERY SINGLE WORDS SPOKEN ABOUT BENGALI CULTURE ON THIS PODCAST !! A great podcast !! ❤❤❤❤

[@nawaz8855]

The local mosques should introduce a online database where our sons and daughters can register there details with there mehrams . Birmingham central mosque has implemented this service and other mosques around the country should follow suit ?This is a great service and is just a database for uk nationals 👍It should no longer be called a arranged marriage instead it should be refered to as a assisted marriage

[@user-fk7sk9ut1t]

Totes

[@Tressa-Rei-Tressa]

Many masjids now offer this service.

[@alphauno6614]

What’s your problem with arranged marriages?

[@j86485]

That's still arranged, arranged doesn't have to be via family only

[@Fortifier1021]

Yes! This would be amazing!

[@dinokiller1556]

Im a revert and i find this stuff so ineresting keep it coming br ali inshallah

[@razer0072073]

Touching the feet of elders is from hindu culture

[@User-059-42]

It is a sign of respect to touch the feet of your mother or father or elderly or the elevated pious. It does not go against islamic teachings, as it shows respectfulness to a great level.

[@faraazsiddiqui1450]

​@@User-059-42No brother you cannot bow or prostate to anyone other than Allah.It is haram and Allah didn't ordered us to do this act.

[@WHATHAPPENED.]

@@User-059-42it’s haram end of discussion

[@SikandarKhan-mf5pz]

​@@User-059-42 When you touch the feet of your parents you tend to bow down. We only bow down to Allah SWT. You can show respect by kissing your parents on the forehead.

[@user-ni1gp1pl8r]

​@@User-059-42its haram

[@AliDawah]

*WAQFOREVER | Donate to our Waqf for Palestine Now!* donorbox.org/gaza-waqf/fundraiser/ali-dawah *100% Donation Policy* *Registered UK Charity*

[@matt-jc4ly]

100% donation policy to hamas?

[@mohammednasirmiah7715]

Wow mics issues, Ali bro get on top of this with your next episodes

[@ImranAhmed-nr9ik]

@@matt-jc4ly nah, 100% donation policy to Humous

[@taasmr4203]

*Reasons Why Pakistani, Afghan, Indian, Bangladeshi, Iranian, Arab, Central Asian, and Far East Asian Girls Should Never Date and Marry Black, White, and Hispanic Men:* *Please do not forgive that detrimental and facist Black American guy who committed the biggest crime of all crimes. Just to get a round of applause the idiot and attention seeker father of that poor guy who lost his life very painfully in the hands of that detrimental and facist Black guy, the father forgave that detrimental and facist Black guy. I am a Pakistani American with Indian roots and I have dark brown skin color, and White Christian Americans and Jewish Americans including White Cops, White Prosecutors, White Court employees, White school Principal, White and Jewish Dean of Students and Professors at universities always protect their detrimental Black, Hispanic, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians men and women whenever they commit crimes against me and other dark brown South Asian Muslims so that those Whites could use those Blacks, Hispanics, Filipino, South Korean, Pakistani and Indian Christians against Muslims politically, socially, legally, militarily, judicially, geo-politically, sexually, in America and outside of America, and now White Muslims like Eddie, Turkish Kurd like Ali Dawah from The U.K who is married to a Black Somali woman, and the Oriental father of this poor and innocent guy who got murdered forgave that detrimental facist Black guy just because the Black guy cried in Court. So, my question to Eddie and to Ali Dawah is that if someone murders your son or daughter and starts crying in court then does it mean that you will forgive him just because your religion of Islam is teaching you to do so? If your answer is NO then you are hypocrites and fake.* *Don't forget that Islam encourages Muslims to execute a murderer in public so that public can learn a lesson and have a fear of execution from a public execution.* *I am a Pakistani-American and I have dark brown complexion and I have become a victim of Black racism and Black fascism many times in America at work place, universities, etc. Blacks violated me out of jealousy and because of colourism in their culture and because I also have dark brown complexion, therefore, Blacks violated me whenever they observed that I was getting a lot of attention from White men and White girls at work, at my universit, and elsewhere. When Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Jews, Chinese, Indians, and Bangladeshi guys see different colours of Pakistani and when they see dark brown skin colour Pakistani guys dating or married to light skin colour Pakistani girls then they try to be a part of Pakistani culture by asking Pakistani girls for dates and by giving Pakistani girls marriage proposals based on their materialistic lust for light skin Pakistani girls, because they think that if dark skin Pakistani guys can get married with light skin Pakistani girls then light skin Pakistani girls will also let those Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys to marry them not realizing that in Pakistani culture we don't have any colourism and dark brown skin color Pakistani guys are Pakistani but certainly not African Black, Indian, and Bangladeshi, therefore, Pakistani girls, no matter they have brown or light skin, should never date and marry Black African, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys at all. Blacks at my work place and university never violated Whites, Hispanics, Jews, and other light skin races, but they only violated me because of my dark brown skin colour, because of my religion of Islam, because of my origin of Pakistan, and because they were jealous to see that I was getting so much attention from Whites and simetimes from Jews, Chinese, Arabs who physically look kind a European, Iranian, etc. I have lost several jobs because of Blacks violated me at work but I had to pay the consequences because Whites, Jews, Hidpanics, and fake and shameless Muslim workers from Morocco, Bosnia, Turkey, Pakistan, India, and Iran supported Blacks in violating me. Blacks also supported anti Muslim and anti Pakistan Whites and Jews in committing crimes against me at my university and in court cases. Black colour their hair blond and red but it becomes very hard for them swallow when I colour my hair red or orang by using Henna on my hair. Blacks in America often rob gas stations, and 7-Eleven, and other small businesses and murder Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi workers. Blacks often brutally assault and rob Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi guys out of racism and jealousy in America. So, Don't feel sorry for these hypocrite, fascist, racist, violent, criminal, sex addict, creepy, and weird Blacks Americans and Black African immigrants who are religiously Christians. Black men along with White men often become Muslims because they have lust for light skin Muslim girls and because they want to marry virgin and light skin Muslim girls. Indian and Bangladeshi guys also keep lust for light skin Pakistani girls from northern Pakistan.* kzbin.infoScRK70BWsn0?si=uSXCJa_haClpYmKO kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJawpaiDhZeMjKssi=quNp5_a59vAIkbHg

[@Kzam19-ux8wg]

@@abunusaybah__why?

[@RaisedFrequencies]

Salaams. I am a Bengali, Spanish & Caribbean Sister in my 20's born in UK. Been married for 5 years to a revert Subhanallah. On every show Ali tries to convince everyone that every man is polygamous by nature. I have never seen someone push a sunnah down peoples throats so desperately. I have been waiting for sisters or brothers on this show to stand up for themselves properly because so far the people who don't want polygamy have been silenced on the show. Brother I understand that you want to be polygamous and May Allah Make it easy for you. You want your wife to see that no man would happy with only be with one woman but many men actually are Alhamdulillah. The prophet (PBUH) when married to Khadija didn't marry another woman. He didn't even ask pray for anyone else Allahumma Barrik. This was the love of his life. The only way he would have married another woman would have been because Allah (SWT) directly told him too and that was the case when she passed and he married again. He was never one to chase polygamy but brother you seem desperate to make everyone see and feel how you do about it. Some men have found the love of their life too Subhanallah and would not want to marry again. Not because of finances or headache but because of the gratuity they feel to have such a great wife who has been there from the beginning and it fulfils him. You need to remember it Is not in some of our fates to live this way. Culture/law also affects feelings towards marriage. You can't undo generations of monogamy just like that the brain needs to be rewired this is systematic. The Quran shows us that such teachings come over time to ease the people into it. Me and my husband respect everyones choice in marriage however we do not want polygamy. You keep saying you challenge anyone who says different. If you really need a muslim couple to come on the show and show you different, that you can't be content and happy with one partner, invite us to the show but I guarantee you will be unhappy that you can't silence us or change our minds. Another great talk though, Jazak'Allah May Allah guide us all.

[@teatrap7229]

1000% How can he say unless you have issues mentally or are gay (implied) if you only want one wife atsagfirullah. that is so rude and disrespectful. some men actually love their wife so much and don't want to hurt her in this way. she is a human being. There are so many other ways to please Allah he would not punish us for staying with one so why would we force it. if a woman is happy with this then do it if she is not don't force that's not Islamic.

[@MeekahNaami]

He says if a woman falls out of love with her partner she will leave him straight away this not true at ALL. Ali how are you calling yourself 'Mr Polygamy' when you don't even understand women properly let alone men lol So many women stay Loyal to their husbands even through the hardest of times. Even through pain. Same with some men. Polygamy is great for a man who is is naturally feeling more sex drive and wants do it in the halal way but there are so many men in the world who would rather focus on other things like building generational wealth and charity. We are seeing polygamy practiced so wrong these days.. isn't it better to stick to one and do it properly than have more and answer to your sins on judgement day for being unable to correctly take care of all those women and causing so much pain.

[@AliDawah]

Walaikum as salam may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you sister: I talk about polygamy so obsessively because I know what decent men go through the moment they want to even think about marrying again, from being threatened with divorce, to being accused of rape, to not seeing their kids. Me being polygamy is no one’s business, so if you think I talk about it because I want to marry again lol is you seeing the pixel while I’m trying to show the picture. I noticed in your wording you keep saying WE when you talk about your husband not wanting a second wife, why are speaking in his behalf? Instead of saying He don’t want it, you keep saying WE. Now you are more then welcome to apply to the show with your husband, but let me ask a very simple question, IF your husband comes to the show and I prove he is actually polygamous, would you be ok with that? Would you be besides him? Or would you make his life a living hell? After you answer this question, think deeply about why “HE”or shall I say “WE” don’t want polygamy. Leave you husband with me for couple of hours and then we’ll see if he desires the idea of another woman or not, just don’t kill him after lol.

[@EdwardHohenheim]

​@@AliDawah Shouldn't it be made clear that you'd maybe want to marry another woman in the future when marrying your first wife instead of surprising her with the decision?

[@RaisedFrequencies]

@@AliDawah Jazak'Allah for your response brother ... I understand that some men are mistreated in these matters but if you can see first hand the stress and pain it has caused for families why do you try to convince so many western living men to try to go down that road. Do you understand how many brothers struggle to find one good loyal and pious woman these days, why risk breaking the family unit why not just marry someone who is open to polygamy from the beginning to avoid family dispute? This seems most logical. Brother, I used the word 'We' once in my entire paragraph, because me and my husband often watch your show together and have these discussions during the show, Subhanallah. I have openly and honestly asked him about his feelings towards this topic (co-wives) and he says that isn't the life he wants to live. Your show does a great thing to open up these conversations but sometimes it feels like propaganda, censored to fit a polygamous lifestyle because when someone says that they don't want to live this way you quickly shut that down. Another reason I used the word 'we' (once) is because its a joint decision ... Have you forgotten how marriage works brother ? It isn't islamic to make big decisions about a marriage without both parties being involved and aware. Yes, you do have to tell your first wife about your second wife in Islam. There are no secret marriages. The children of one wife will be the half-siblings of the children of your next wife. The family has the right to know each other and your spouses deserve your respect and honesty. Secret marriages are not permitted by the majority of Sunni mad-hab. One of the requirements of a halal marriage is it to have witnesses and it public knowledge in the community, SubhanAllah its beautiful how our religion protects us all. If he ever did change his mind on this matter and came to me with honesty & respect, no I wouldn't try to make his life a living hell as hurtful as it would be I would be respectful and bow out gracefully. That's my intention.The old me would have probably put him on a shirt lol... Who knows in another 5-10 years time would Allah guide us and test us both with different feelings on the topic? I am always open minded to the fact that people and circumstances change. However, at this age, I know myself very well and can't see myself ever being a co-wife. Allah knows best.

[@Teetee_joliee]

Very brave of you to speak in this topic. I know how hard it can be talking about your own community. Thank god for multiculturalism. 🎉 things are definitely moving in The right direction. And I love how the new generation are able to separate religion from culture 😊

[@iman-alibeg3849]

My heart went out to the young lad who was forced into marraige, this has a lasting psychological effect on someone. This doenst just happen in the Bengalis culture its all over. My Brothers were forced into marriage as well and their marriage was abusive on their wives side, they made sure that they did not see their families, and they would send money back home and fill their pockets, hence the reason as to why they kept us out of my brothers lives.

[@piqueny8872]

Never marry an immigrant there intention is to steal your money and launder it to there families While ur live on the poverty line and claim food banks and government housing

[@roosworld4910]

After you pass your sell by date, the parents are like 'go and marry anyone, so as long as he's/she's a muslim' ...years later she's/he's still single. True story.

[@alphauno6614]

What???

[@Fortifier1021]

What do you mean?

[@roosworld4910]

In the end parents stop being so picky (has to be only from a certain background). They realise so as long as they've found a good Muslim partner and are happy, that is all that matters.

[@alphauno6614]

@@roosworld4910 it’s a shame so many women wait until they have careers to get married. By then you are touching 30, not as agile as before and now you have to balance full time job, kids and husband. No wonder so many women end up burning out and divorcing. Too much to handle

[@roosworld4910]

Education finishes at 22 unless they've taken a longer route. Plenty of time for marriage. People don't have the right network to find a good partner. Then they become old and they still don't want to give up on their ideal partner. By then most younger females don't want to marry an older man. Older women, don't want a man with baggage from a previous marriage (most older people would have some sort of relationship history...children etc..) Marriages can break down from bad communication. Takes teamwork to run a household. Team work, makes the dream work.

[@a2j2023]

My wife is Bengali 🇧🇩 & I'm Somali/Ethiopian 🇩🇯🇪🇹. Fortunately, I have a lovely family 🤲🏽. My Bengali in-laws have been so good to me. To be honest, I haven't had a lot of experiences with Bangladeshi people before getting with my wife. So I really don't know any of the negatives when it comes to culture other than what my wife tells me about bengali culture. I had a glimpse of it with my in-laws and they're extended family members. But every culture has their negatives. Nevertheless, they've been good to me. I wanna say it's probably because they're very religious. I mean, they follow the sunnah to the T! Allahumma barik 🤲🏽When we put cultural practices over our religion, especially when it goes against our deen, thats when we have problems. 😔

[@hodanabdulkadir9019]

The best episode our brother and sister bangali same as other cultures alot of cultures normes which is wrong in Islam but the young generation is their duty to change anything that doesn’t appeal’s allaah’s deen like I say I learned alot the inner culture aspect allaahuma baarik all of you and absolutely we need more educational episodes like this bro Ali daw’a

[@Fortifier1021]

Bengali culture is far better than western culture. The young generation has been westernised and they want to replace a culture based on Islam with a culture based on Liberalism.

[@NurullAhmine]

Thank you brother Ali ❤ been watching watch all seriers, excellent presenter,thanks again

[@harooncoulibaly4271]

SubhnAllah ! I would tank you Ali Dawah, you do an untired job to light people on the reall problems, especially touching the muslim. The forced marriage is a tough reality and deserves we talk. May Allah give us a good comprehension of the Dîn ! Ameen ya Rabbi 🤲 #FREE PALESTINE !

[@insyirahandhy4977]

Asalaamu'alykum brother Ali, a reminder for myself always, but I think we Muslims have to be extremely cautious of exposing the sins of others, especially of our families. We want to protect the integrity of everyone especially if there are people watching who can identify the sisters and brothers speaking on your show- by extension the community would know exactly who have been doing wrong. I think there were very important issues raised, but I don't think it is correct to have it shared at the expense of shaming specific people. Unfortunately these conversations may be written down as backbiting, which we forget is a major sin in Islam. We can remove the personification and alter our language to say "I know of someone.." or "a relative of mine.." and so on and so forth. May Allah allow us to purify our hearts, minds and tongues, and forgive our shortcomings, ameen.

[@omarfarooq5772]

Agreed. And speaking about other people when they are not present, gives them not a chance to defend to themselves and their viewpoint.

[@ziziy243]

My thoughts exactly 💯.

[@HomeTravelGardenInspo]

Exactly! These idiots, were exposing their own mother’s sins and bad habits, to the entire GLOBE! Are they that dumb? Once you say something on the internet and it’s posted on KZbin, you cannot take it back, and it’s very hard retracting what they said, as it’s been recorded. They are very naive and immature in my opinion. So quick to denounce their own mother’s faults, but don’t address their own. It’s 2023 and that dude was an adult of legal age, where he should and could make adult decisions and choices, so it was HIS entire fault, for allowing his family to brainwash him to get married, but unless they forced him (by holding a gun to his head or black magic), he still could and should have said NO. Is he not a man, does he not have free will? That sister in the pink scarf, when talking ill about her divorce and marital issues, again online, she mentioned she married a man of a different ethnicity and got married in a mosque, so that got me assuming she did it behind her mothers back, without consent from her own mother (her only guardian), as she previously mentioned, her mother wouldn’t approve of intermixed marriages, so when the mother didn’t approve of her divorcing so quickly and asking wether she’s giving her husband a chance or taking on the tasks a wife should be doing, then she decided to again, ignore her mother and instead blast her online. What a bunch of entitled, ungrateful brats these parents have raised. Looks like Ali just popped down to East London and picked up the road men of Bengalis. Not a fair representation of your average Bangladeshi family. Majority of Bangladeshi households, have both parents and are pretty conservative, in a good way. Many have adapted the culture, to work better with Islamic teachings. I think the brother with the shades and the two sisters (who constantly interrupted the show), are exceptions. Imagine if that sister, kept interrupting her husband and wanted to be in charge all the time in her marriage, then it’s not really surprising, where things may have spiralled. If she wasn’t affording him his rights as the man of the house, then how could he afford her her rights. Do they even know what their rights were, I mean, did they even discuss this before rushing to the mosque to get married? Thats why it’s important for women to have a wali before making that huge decision in choosing who they will spend their life with. Ali really, should have brought those topics up, because that is part of the marriage topic, making sure, women are protected and not taken advantage of. May Allah guide us all, Ameen.

[@Hellfire_is_real]

I was looking for this comment.

[@hasansyed692]

these guys didn't do a good job. felt like they jus wanted to get their crazy stories out there, which is weird given they didn't blur their face so their whole community knows their family's problems. only time there was mention of religion, it was mainly coming from Ali. they didn't even answer his questions properly, but instead jus started tangenting and ranting abt bengali culture. they didn't even mention a prominent part of bengali marriage like CVs etc. also, them talking abt "hindu culture" and stuff like "khodom busi" (the touching the feet of an elder), they are in no position to be making rulings and deeming things as unislamic when their ignorance is quite apparent. idk why, but it seems like their mission was just to make bengali culture seem rlly bad. at no point was there any praising of the culture/higlighting anyhting good.

[@Mitu918]

My mom always hated that I would ask show me in Hadith or Quran ! She would get so angry.. same thing I would ask my dad.

[@roosworld4910]

I remember a time when the older generation used to feel disrespected by their children speaking up with Islamic facts. Then there was growth, where they accepted 'it is okay for the elders to learn from the young. It's not disrespectful'.

[@yzsr4]

​@roosworld4910 growth?? You children need to listen to parents ok.. you no bloody clever then this.

[@harooncoulibaly4271]

SubhanAllah ! 😓

[@M.loading]

I can't lie as a Bengali I don't actually agree with most of whats being said in this episode

[@kaystar1844]

Yes, same i can't relate either and I'm fully Bangladeshi. There are some points that are generally valid still eg divorce stigma, skin color

[@AchievewithA]

Side note: I am a hijabi and I am making intention to continue to improve. My goal this year is to purchase some jilbabs and khimars as well as some more abayas/flowy dresses. I am a revert and alhamdulillah, my job is super cool with me wearing abaya etc (I live in FL, USA, and it has been a struggle, but now I am in such a good work environment by the grace of Allah swt). I just want to compliment how beautiful and modest these sisters looked. May Allah swt continue to have these modest examples for us sisters.

[@faay8912]

This w as a good podcast well done for bringing this to light brother Ali. I enjoyed listening to everyone but for some reason brother syed i think? with the shades on he has an amazing and genuine vibe my heart goes out to him and everything he went through i think hes a gem and a good hearted person. I would say to him brother get therapy don't allow people to force you into things. also listen to a lot of ruqya i noticed some people thing they are being obedient at times but are forced in other ways, not saying that is his case but im talking from what ive seen amongst the south asian community there's also a lot of afflicted people - ruqya helps this. and allah knows best

[@ma-sal5831]

I’m not Bengali but loved this. I would love to see a Yemen episode soon.

[@sankara5958]

Interesting, the very city from where all those people originated is converted to Islam by 360 Yamani saints. I think they were born and raised in the UK but kept their language alive.Yaman has a special place in their hearts

[@xuserakx]

Shah Jalal from Yemen spread Islam in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh btw

[@Browneys4U]

they should not make a yemen episode because these people do not respect tradition, they will bring people to slander yemen.

[@ma-sal5831]

@@Browneys4U the Yemeni episode would have Yemenis representing it, I don’t think a Yemeni is gonna try to slander Yemen. But I understand what your saying.

[@Browneys4U]

@@ma-sal5831 they might get people that respect the tradition and culture, but they might also get people who will disrespect and call the tradition and culture "backwards". "we know better "

[@junayedkabir5667]

Big thank you to all involved for discussing this matter

[@AR-DontMiss]

I have Pakistani parents and they told me if I don’t marry cousin I will have to stay alone forever and won’t take their responsibility which is in Islam to find me a spouse.

[@vorehart]

they can't do that. They can't force you to marry and they cannot forbid you to marry.

[@j86485]

Why do Pakistani parents force marrying your cousins so much 🤦🏾‍♂

[@Fortifier1021]

Sorry brother. But the choice is yours to make...

[@East.London]

Why do Pakistanis marry there own cousins that’s very strange is it a culture thing (no disrespect)

[@user-ln9xv8qi5y]

Asalamu Alaykum , if youre a sister then contact a masjid and tell them the situation they should be able to help you , this is opression , they cannot force you. If youre a brother then they cant force you either !

[@nabilaislam5412]

The issue of racism because of skin tone is a major issue in Bangladeshi culture. May be not that much for men but I’ve seen a lots of women being rejected just because she doesn’t have a fair skin tone. Many people have this mentality that if the girl is not fair skin toned she’s not qualified to get married to them/ to their son, no matter how much qualified she is. I know not everyone thinks the same but as a girl with slight darker skin tone I’ve heard from some of my friends and relatives that it will be difficult for me to get married and I should do something about my skin tone like using products that can lighten the skin tone 🙂 when I said I'll marry someone for whom my skin color won't matter, they thought I was being arrogant.

[@Interceptor810]

The zina story really got to me. SubhanAlla, its really tragic that it went there. Parents really need to understand their kids more and not be such dictators to them

[@ahmedhussein8493]

Timestamp akh

[@scaryjoker]

​@@chagzyahyaso pathetic asking for a timestamp

[@Interceptor810]

@@ahmedhussein8493 I dont remember exactly but around the 31:00 mark

[@a7md69]

​@scaryjoker why? Out of all the pathetic things people can do in this world, why would you say that asking for a certain story's timestamp is "So Pathetic ??"

[@J-FLaw]

Thank you for this show Brother Ali❤. I also learnt that when a brother or sister is strong minded/follows Islam, they have good knowledge, maturity and intelligence. Honestly Brother Ali, you are an example

[@rameezhassanrajpoot3143]

Brother Ali may ALLAH bless you and your family and accept your efforts towards the deen. Wallah now days you guys like Brother Hijab ,ustad numan Ali khan Deen show guys hamza tourtz and youth club guys of Pakistan and late Dr israr (R.A)are blessings for muslim youth and ummah.

[@SUBSCRIBEtoSHAHRIYAR]

Bangladeshi Canadian here. Absolute truth thank you for doing this

[@ahmedbebackup9944]

Unfortunately, this is not only limited to Bangalis. Even here in West Africa, we have the same culture.

[@nazmunEva]

Exactly...this is what I wanted to say. I am bengali, married into north african culture, it's all same.. the husband becomes emotionally unavailable around his mother, his mother is toxic, creating problem, but the husband...... really self centered

[@user-iq5xi7cn9k]

The level of invisible trauma, people pleasing, gaslighting, narcissism, emotional abuse, enmeshment, codependency, religious abuse, conditional love, mind control, invalidation, oppression, emotional neglect, covert blackmail, victim mentality, fear, guilt toxic shame, obligation and total loss of autonomy, authenticity and lack of individuation and self is why bengali people(especially daughters) need compassion, understanding and empathy because the level to which one’s self esteem has to be decimated to be okay with forfeiting self as well as to level level to which self splitting tactics needs to be implemented so that the child’s self worth is completely externalized and placed into the approval of parents is criminal(I say this respectfully). This is why those marriages are filled with misery, trauma, betrayal, hurt and more trauma now imagine what a codependent people pleaser and narcissist will produce, a traumatized child and normalized Dysfunctional parenting, toxic relating, a loveless environment ripe with emotional abuse, gaslighting and control modeled for the offspring to repeat for the next generation. This was so brutal to see and sadly the trauma is normalized and pushed for generations in these families by using unconscious coercive manipulation tactics of control. My heart goes out to Bengali’s and awesome video. Cheers from Newyork it’s so awesome to see you using your voice to expose what’s really going to the rest of the world.

[@weezyyoungking]

30:56 Allahumma Barik Br. Ali, that was a very real and sensitive confession. I love the fact that despite that you don’t take a victim mentally and stay steadfast on deen. May Allah guide your father and may keep all of us on the straight path

[@ranjanamajid7675]

Omg I loved this episode, I’ve been pausing at every topic discussing it with my husband.

[@mdjamir8653]

I didn't like where brother Ali put the brother beside him in a situation about polygamy where he was clearly uncomfortable. Clearly brother Ali couldn't accept the different opinion of the brother and had to make sure at the end he somehow agreed with Ali. I personally agree with my brother Ali here but I wouldn't like to be in that situation that Ali put the brother beside him in. #FreePalestine I notice the free Palestine flag in the top left corner of the screen.

[@warfaze00]

Salam from a Bengali Bangladeshi 🇧🇩 in Australia 🇦🇺

[@scaryjoker]

This is an excellent topic. I know many bengali brothers who have suffered at this backward mentality

[@arandomhandsomeman7725]

Those girls are the most somali looking bengalis I've seen

[@sareeyemanusqaame8723]

😂😂 came here to say the exact same thing but instead kept scrolling down to find the comment

[@07035865070]

Swears😂

[@Skutnu]

Tbf Somali culture is very similar to Bengali culture.

[@Skutnu]

Somali Islamic culture I meant

[@dhdowlad]

It's very hard for a child to educate their parent. It's the responsibility of the scholars and the local imams to educate the parent..

[@F.G.G.45]

The sisters who’s been told she won’t get married because of her skin tone 💔 My sister if you see this comment I want you to know you are BEAUTIFUL Ma Sha Allah ❤️

[@S40WBS]

An inspiring selection of the British bengali community

[@mooktakim]

Its interesting to listen to what I would say "young" people (I'm like 10-15 years older). I feel like many of these things have been fixed in the generation before me (like touching feet etc). As I am from London, maybe its different. I'm thinking Bengalis up north (based on the speakers accents) is still very traditional (or at least continue the strict traditional stuff that isn't Islamic). It would be good to also hear "older" people who have married and looking back at their experience.

[@AbuZak14]

Yes bro, my family stopped touching feet 25 years ago. I think this group is probably the last batch of British Bengali 2nd generationers, or they could have one 1st generation parent, which carries on the cultural baggage.

[@mooktakim]

I don't think its a generational thing. I think its more this audience is young and likely the ones that have gone through stuff has had bad experience. They are also using their own modern/western filter to describe things. Which is fine, that's their opinion, but I don't think it helps them understand their parents.

[@daisybee5943]

Marriage is not a bollywood romance. The older generation had sabr. They still got through it. Young people just give up. Men need to take care and respect women, women need to act like women.

[@baddie21358]

Right

[@anwarbabran7438]

I really respect the man in the middle , he experienced trauma bcuz of his mom and the culture , yet he still respects her and is obedient to her . I can see how much he has suffered bcuz of this Also the pionts the girl on the left makes are really interesting , she also suffers from this culture , yet still holding herself together . I respect them , and there's a lot to learn from them all , specially the suffering of those two . Nñ

[@SyedReacxts]

Thank you for understanding

[@HA-gz2jm]

Amazing video!! In a nutshell have tawakkul and work on yourself emotionally, mentally and physically (exercise, go gym. It helps with feeling positive and regulating your emotions)

[@mohammedayaz2792]

'We never doubt our parent's intentions' - that is very naive mate. Earlier in the conversation, the young brother said his mother was looking for someone to take care of her in her old age. The young brother's mother wasn't looking out for him but looking out for herself.

[@rameezhassanrajpoot3143]

Brother Ali, I kiss my mom's feet its ok nothing bad or prohibited in Islam or either shirk if you kiss your mom's feet it's a blessing from ALLAH. Free Palestine 🇵🇸 love from Pakistan.

[@adib7828]

Why do you need to do that

[@Altair-El-Haddad]

It's not needed, my mums south asian and I love her to bits but I don't kiss her feet, this needs to stop lol.

[@chy.0190]

nah its weird ngl, and to make matters worse people get angry if you do not do it lol

[@vorehart]

kissing the feet of a parents or elders is a cultural innovation. This practice originated from hinduism in India. I wanted to let you know since you're muslim.

[@razer0072073]

​@@vorehartHow is it still a thing?

[@yusufyahya8048]

Why not bring Bengalis that are married or even a variety of ages not those that are young and in their 20s? These are some Bengali’s that are clearly disobedient as you could tell by the girls and how they were speaking. Please bring some educated Bengalis that can articulate their words Ali not just those that would bring some controversy. Just a suggestion no hate and all love.

[@EdwardHohenheim]

Lmao you say no hate but immediately call them disobedient because of the way they speak?

[@Sadika101]

Your ignorance is over the roof, just cause they are speaking about their own culture, that they know very well you apparently think they are disobedient, and this is also you infantlizing the younger generation thinking they don't know much and apparently the older generation knows more than them, sometimes you do learn a lot of stuff from the younger generation not everything has to be from the elder people, you are the problem so may you never speak again with that ignorant mouth and head of yours.

[@Skutnu]

Facts brother. This is embarrassing to see amongst the youth. They’re trying their best to cope with implementing haram into the culture. Disgusting.

[@LadyNoor22]

Bengali wedding steps: 1- Dekha dekhi- groom & his family go to see her first, then brides side go to see his house and fam. 2- sini-fan- an engagement party, brides given a ring and some clothes. Mahr is discussed, this includes how much gold will be given, and how much land or money. 3- dowry- bride side buy furniture for his house, nowadays it’s mainly bedroom furniture, olden days it was literally furniture for downstairs and appliances for the kitchen, dinner sets, all kitchen utensils and that. 4- Mendhi ceremony separately for both sides 5- nikkah just before wedding day or on wedding day. 6- wedding day, usually bride side pay for feeding guests on this day, but if they decide to do walima and wedding together, then both sides split the costs. 7- bidai- bride moves to grooms house, and literally marries his family too 😜 8- mas kata- fish cutting ceremony 9- nasta- brides family come down to grooms house with loads of nasta (bengali sweet & savoury snacks), this is another party itself. 10- arai din- after a day and a half bride and groom go to stay at brides parents house. I think this is all lol

[@fardinaahmareen4869]

you forgot holud

[@LadyNoor22]

@@fardinaahmareen4869 of course! This’ll be done night before wedding. A turmeric paste will be applied on bride and grooms face, arms & feet. To give them a glow on the wedding day.

[@kaystar1844]

Bare in mine not every bengali familes do each one either. I for one didn't do mas kata in my husbands house

[@Skutnu]

Damn. A lot to go through just to get some 🐱

[@zuhairatasnim5783]

It was a beautiful podcast ❤❤

[@mphone312]

This is a problem for westernised bengalis. Modern bengalis have a high divorce rate. The Traditional ones in Bangladesh that follow Islam are doing fine Alhamdulilah.

[@chy.0190]

*This is a problem for westerners

[@mphone312]

​@@chy.0190exactly. Children of Muslim immigrants in the west are lost.

[@mohg1457]

Preach bro

[@DaddyChulo-cu8go]

the divorce is a right within islam and sharia why u present it like its not allowed ? difference is the traditional ones had to "make do" with what they had they were forced my grandmother suffered physical abuse during the marriage she never said a word cuz it was back then today if the same thing happened it would be a divorce, world has just become more just while following sharia whether u like it or not.

[@beyourself9293]

SubhanAllah how can your mum tell you “ you have no chance getting married bc you’re a dark skinned” walaah you’re beautiful more beautiful than your light skinned sister! May Allah give you a good righteous husband hugs from London 🤗🤗

[@tarakhan3801]

I couldn’t even finish watching this, stopped midway. The two sisters seem so immature, how old are they? Saying their mom who is a Muslim doesn’t know Allah? They were constantly blasting their mom. The problem with most Bengali kids is that either they are too obedient to parents at the cost of their own happiness or they are extremely rebellious. The youth need to be balanced and stand their ground. Also, are they all Syleti? They normally aren’t even allowed to marry people from other parts of Bangladesh forget inter-racial. Many Bengali parents are accepting of interracial marriages now a days. Seems like the two sisters here just wish to marry outside of their culture but can’t and so are complaining here.

[@tarakhan3801]

Also, I really enjoy a lot of Brother Ali’s pov. However, I think brother you are narrowing a woman to ‘one type’ by saying she is only happy with one man. If women were allowed Islamically to marry multiple men at once, you would see how many would not just stick to one man. But the only thing that would stop most would not be the lack of desire but coming back to the fairness point. So men aren’t the only ones who might desire to be sexually active with more than one person. Women and men BOTH feel that way. You could do an anonymous voting to see it for yourself, but if both men and women are asked to be honest, many women would tell you this.

[@Skutnu]

Facts

[@shumonm96.]

That brother with shades needs psychological help. He has been traumatised by his situation

[@IAMXIRSI]

Brother Ali you forced the brother to agree with you but he is genuinely not a polygamist. Your point of all men are polygamist is defeated😂

[@Skutnu]

False. When he said no headache what was the response? So he proved Ali’s point.

[@Haaireofficial]

Thank you for this alidawah but please bring people who know more about their culture and religion, maybe pick one group who know lot about their deen and one group who know lot about their culture than the debate will be interesting.. no disrespect to the brothers and sisters in this show but I feel like they have missed lot of points and so much things need to be mentioned

[@yuliara6747]

Shaikh Ahmed an-Najmi said, "The mother is the *first school*. If she is righteous, the progeny becomes righteous." [Fath-ur-Rabb al-Wadud (2/256)]

[@Truthivist101]

To the sister who’s mum said she was cursed by Allah for her skin - you are beautiful inside and out, you have skin many many women desire, you are a very beautiful woman. To Ali, I personally know men who’s wives who have told them to get a second wife due to a lack of libido on their part, and the husband has refused himself as he recognises he’s 1. Not financially capable and 2. He cannot love a second wife the way he loves his first, and he cites that the prophet SAW was also satisfied with Khadija AS for 25 years, so personally I think you’re deflecting and think that every man is like you, it is disingenuous how much peer pressure you put on men to agree with you, every single time, when there’s a brother who disagrees with you multiple times, you don’t give up on trying to convince him until he agrees with you, this is not Dawah, polygamy is not obligatory, you spend much less energy on trying to convince the men to be emotionally mature and how to get to that point, you want them to get the result without putting the work in. It’s people like you that are the cause of young people divorcing at such a high rate, they go into a fantasy that you’ve painted for them, and are not prepared at all for the work that they need to put in, even the prophet SAW put in 25 years of monogamy. Also, practice what you preach, you apparently are so self aware and confident in your beliefs yet you only have one wife? What is it that you’re hiding from brothers and deceiving them like this? Go and get yourself a second wife, a third and a fourth, and then come and talk, as if brothers don’t have enough to deal with you are creating more fitnah for them

[@knowledgepower2001]

Bro your post should be longer it’s too short 😂😂😂

[@Truthivist101]

@@knowledgepower2001 😂😂🤣 I got carried away bro someone had to say it

[@theonef570]

@@Truthivist101What culture you come from?

[@sofiakhan7091]

Lol, I agree

[@sofiakhan7091]

I think the prophet's example just explains it all. That having 1 wife usually is sufficient but when situation arrives polygamy becomes necessary. That's why men are polygamous.

[@nabilaislam5412]

I’m from Bangladesh. Alhamdulillah when I was 18 my parents told me I’m free to choose my life partner, if the man is a good Muslim, if his character is good then it doesn’t matter who he is or where he’s from. They just want me to choose someone who I’ll think will be good for me or I can be happy with him. They have gave me the permission to choose whom I want to marry when I wasn’t even considering getting married anytime sooner. I’m now 21 and when I told my mom that I would like to marry someone from other culture, she’s okay with it. She says as long as you can find someone who you can be happy with it’s okay.

[@marufgazi9025]

Lucky

[@sultanah937]

That’s good. I am a mother and I told my daughter and son that they can marry to the person of their choice but the person has to be a good person. If his or her character good and my daughter and son think they would be happy with that person, I would be okay with them. At the end of the day it’s their life and they had leave with their partner. So their happiness is very important

[@Skutnu]

This will lead to divorce. Imagine a 21 year old finding their spouse. Big mistake. You’re still a child.

[@Zelestean]

Brother Ali. Definitely should have invited me lol. I could have broken down so many aspects of a "traditional" Bengali family. And given insights into the the process of the marriage talk/ ceremony. Good podcast still

[@Somali-One]

Our parents are always "right". We can not tell them what they do wrong. When they realise they are wrong and wants you to involve the Situation, we stay away from the Situation, i think we are not doing wrong.

[@zanultimazan]

for bangladeshis, I think another factor is that they are less likely to know english vs other groups which also leads to them to being more traditional. south asian culture is very family oriented with the parents having highest authority. the son's wife is also supposed to be following the son's mother and living with them, so that's easier done if they are both from the same culture. many bangladeshis are also very alone, so they have nothing besides their family. the first generation being raised in the west is going to have a very hard time appeasing themselves and their parents. south asian marriages are also far from being love marriages, so anything that has to do with "finding someone compatible" is a completely foreign concept to traditional south asian families. there's pros and cons with both sides.

[@Skutnu]

Love comes after marriage brother. Before marriage it is lust. If you don’t see that then maybe you’re a woman. In that case I get you.

[@nai9916]

alhamdulillah im Bengali but my parents are very understanding Bengali parents, in the sense they are very open to marrying whomever we would like as long as they fit the basic requirements a muslim man needs and so forth, but they are also open to us marrying outside of culture. perhaps this is because my mother was born here and dad came to the uk quite young, and because they're quite young and modern, they're in their mid forties to fifties and im now 20.

[@user-yg4vk3qn2v]

Whatever we do must be according to the Quran and Sunnah not according to the culture

[@HomeTravelGardenInspo]

@@user-yg4vk3qn2vWe shouldn’t discount culture, unless it goes against Qur’an and Sunnah. No people or tribe, should look down on their culture, unless it goes against Islam. Arabs, Europeans, West Asian and Africans all are proud of their culture and we see it in their marriages, but it only becomes a problem in South Asian marriages. Why are the younger generation of South Asians, denouncing their culture, to fit in with other people? It’s that inferiority complex, where they think the other man’s culture is superior. We need to stop this victim mentality, and just fix the haram elements in the culture, rather than getting rid of it all.

[@incrediblehulk8031]

Why will you betray Bengalis and marry out?

[@Yo-mv5dm]

@@incrediblehulk8031🤣🤣🤣

[@Yo-mv5dm]

@@incrediblehulk8031man said betray. Bro your too funny

[@ahmaunahma]

marry within the culture, preserve the race, don't become a homogenous individual with no racial identity, that's the purpose of the global elites and the powers that be.

[@chy.0190]

What in the jahiliyyyah is this lmao you sound like a hindu. "Preserve the race". No one is saying for all 300 million plus Bengalis in the world to marry outside the race. Islam is our identity, everything else is secondary. Until you tribalists realise that you will keep suffering from problems after problems.

[@ahmaunahma]

1:05:00

[@hassyg4083]

your identity is supposed to be the county you live in

[@ahmaunahma]

@@hassyg4083thats the textbook definition of assimilation. "let go of your ethnic roots, culturally cleanse yourself and follow the white man."

[@ahmaunahma]

@@luluah1198 people assimilate into another ethnicity by marrying someone from another racial group and having mixed-race offspring, whilst adopting the culture/language of their spouse, and raising the child according to that culture. often times, both parents compromise on each other's cultural identities in order to have a neutral marriage and this results in the child being sort of culturally non-binary, where they struggle with their ethnic identity.

[@kwameopoku3576]

Ali im really liking this series im not even bengali but its interesting dialogue 👍🏿

[@mphone312]

Non practicing bengalis engage with non mahrams, however practicing traditional bengalis do NOT free mix with non mahram men or women (including in laws)

[@sofiakhan7091]

It's not about practicing traditional bengali's, it's those who have knowledge from the deen would not free mix and would practice segregation. Bangladeshi tradition doesn't teach us that. But we can learn a lot from the tradition. We only follow what's acceptable and in accordance to Qur’an & Sunnah.

[@mphone312]

@sofiakhan7091 I made this comment to clarify that you can be both bengali and religious. In the show it came across that the bengali culture is somehow anti Islamic.

[@user-fk7sk9ut1t]

I honestly don’t understand why people are so forceful in marrying someone their parents don’t approve or outside of the culture. I understand it if you are “in love” which is haram anyway, but if you are not then just marry someone you can both agree on and live in peace. Stop pretending it’s because he/she is a good muslim, there are plenty of if good muslims that your family can agree on.

[@blacc6326]

Assalamu Alaykum brother/sister, I get where you are coming from but you’ve got a couple of false assumptions. Firstly you assume that their love is haram which isn’t always the case. Secondly it’s their right to choose their husband/wife. In many cases it’s the parent who are in the wrong and push back (with respect) is needed

[@user-fk7sk9ut1t]

@@blacc6326wsalam With respect that isn’t true, because if you are in love, then likelihood is you are meeting a non-Mahram without the presence of a mahram, so therefore Haram So can you really fault the parents for not agreeing

[@chy.0190]

People have preferences. There is nothing wrong with it. Their parents do not have an Islamic right of rejecting in the first place, if the persons religiously upright.

[@mphone312]

I totally agree, why are these western Muslims (children of immigrants) so desperate to marry out of their culture. Its embarrassing.

[@HqComphelpqH]

Some people (like myself) come from a culture with a severe shortage of practicing Muslims

[@Peaches10608]

I'm bangali, born and raised in the uk, and I'm engaged to a brother whowas born and raised in dhaka for 20 years before he moved to london to pursue his masters. Though him and i are culturally quite similar due to him being fluent in English and having been raised in the city, despite our different childhood environments, this video was still a pleasure to watch cause I can still recognise most of these cultural hangups in both our parents, unfortunately. It is what it is.

[@piqueny8872]

Becareful all immigrants come over to “study” reality is there looking for a passport wife Someone who take advantage of financially

[@Peaches10608]

@@piqueny8872 I know. He's been in the UK for 7 years before we even met and he was already on the way to getting his citizenship without me. He's been thoroughly vetted and he's paying a good amount of mahr. I agree most of these cases are sketchy and you Def need to be careful, but don't worry cause this specific brother I'm engaged to is legit.

[@greenvector]

Asalamalaykum. I just wanted to say well done on these shows. Its clear your intention is good

[@neo_artropolis7176]

Its kinda funny how relatable all the points were xD the same dialogues are used by most bengali parents

[@ldnmiah]

Bowinng down an touching an elders feet is seen as a mark of deep respect in the Bengali culture and the rest of the indian subcontinent. Its a way of showing respect and seeking blessings from the elders. This has got nothing to do with Islam or religion. Its more of a cultural and social custom prevalent in the indian subcontinent. This should not be considered as anything bad or being subordinate. It's just a local tradition.

[@El.Generico]

Shouldn’t be bowing down to anyone but Allah, best to leave Hindu culture out of it

[@ldnmiah]

@@El.Generico You are not bowing down in that sense!! Its not an act of worwship but more of a South Asian custom and tradition of showing respect and seeking blessings from ones elders; This is not to be confused with religious aspects of bowing down to Allah and most people are sensible enough to know the difference.

[@nanabai329]

Most of the points here also happen in my African Muslim culture as a Malian from west Africa. The marring Someone from ur culture only doesn’t matter if they are Muslim I had the talk when I was a teenager, the same with the mahar in my culture it is never discussed with the woman just the man and her father or uncles, to not divorcing when there are major problems to safe face or they will disown you. Many African men not having the means yet marrying multiple women where now she has to go out and work or he neglects one in favor of the other etc. I and my cousins had these culture struggles to go against Islam when culture is wrong but is still used to pressure us to do things and it causes harms we have to bear and injustice we suffer from when they are not even part of the deen. Omg I am so happy I watched this I thought I lived in an alternate universe. I hope you can do an episode like this with west African Muslims as I did saw the Somali episode but we are still different. Although it seems it’s the same clash if haram culture and Islam.

[@RB-vp2hc]

Our bengali parents have lack of education and they are very toxic they don't value the emotional well being of their children. May Allah SWT guide them & help them to understand our deen.

[@alphauno6614]

Stop generalising bro. Geeeeeeez

[@noreenbi9079]

Pakistani parents are the same. They just love there brothers and sisters . No love 4 the kids

[@Fortifier1021]

How can you say this and generalize?

[@Fortifier1021]

​@@noreenbi9079Sorry if you're going through that but don't generalize.

[@Fortifier1021]

Both of you Thank Allah that you don't have parents who are grooming you to become l'g'b't like in the west.

[@INDIF82]

As an Indian Muslim who is from a Coastal Town in Tamil Nadu, India I am suprised to see that we have the same cultural norms in our town too. I guess we really are all the same in South Asia 😂. In fact, I have family member showing the same charachteristics mentioned in this video

[@sathanansenthilnathan3846]

Tamilan aye

[@NM-gg3hs]

desi culture

[@INDIF82]

​@@sathanansenthilnathan3846 Amma

[@kumar7586]

Muslims of the whole subcontinent are basically the same. In Bangladesh, there is a community of Urdu-speaking Muslims from Bihar and UP who migrated to East Pakistan (today's Bangladesh) in 1947. They are called Biharis or stranded Pakistanis and live in sub-human conditions. . Bangladeshi Bengali Muslims consider it "Bengali nationalism" to oppress and hate these Biharis whose only mistake was to support their country Pakistan in 1971. You should thank your Allah that your grandparents did not make the mistake of migrating to East Pakistan in 1947 otherwise you would have ended up in a refugee camp in Dhaka like these Biharis! Bengali Muslims are NOT innocent though they like to play the victim all the time.