Bereavement; letting it pass through

Bereavement; letting it pass through
Why does it hurt so much when a dog dies? This week we lost Wally, so I’d like to know how can I feel better when my dog dies? I’ve been researching how to feel better after, and how to deal with grief pain, and now I’m asking you if you have any advice.
I am at peace with the decision to help him cross over, because I could see he was beginning to suffer pain, and had totally lost his independence. He couldn’t get a drink or have a wee without someone taking him to the water bowl or the garden.
What is hard for me is that I miss him. Having taken care of his needs for the last five-ish months, I am finding a new rhythm. I don’t have to let him out in the middle of the night, or show him where his food bowl is by tapping it - he was almost totally blind. He’s not there on my husband’s bed anymore. Each little thing that I would need to do for him, I am un-learning. No more slow walks. No more accidental tiddles to clean up. Only one dog to feed.
I am grateful for having my other beautiful girl, who is also missing him, even though he’d steel her biscuits and clumsily tread on her.
So, when you love your dog so much, why does it hurt so much when a pet passes? Why does losing my dog hurt so much, and what’s the best thing to do when your pet dies.
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#bereavement
#grief
#pets
• Bereavement; letting i...
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
00:14 Since September
00:50 Decision before Christmas
01:17 Separation Anxiety
02:29 Our last Christmas
02:48 Last week
03:08 A really tough week
03:59 Symptoms for me
04:15 Letting it pass through you
04:35 Morning after he died
05:19 More buffoonery please
06:05 Next week and beyond

[@Notjoy123]

Yogi Joy here. Completely agree with grief in waves. Grief is dealing with closure in parts of our lives. Grief is love. Think about reality as 2,4, & 5 Densities. Animals are so much more capable than most humans. Your little guy probably come a home with you in the car on all your hospital visits and pings backwards and forwards like magic. His biological Mum will have been there to greet him on “the other-side”. If you get time, the empathy you could join a course on Animal Communication or try a Train to be a medium weekend away or just let the animals show you every unusual creak in the house. It doesn’t take away the pain, but it makes them more inner-standable! The Multiverse loves All and the little furry things have their own God-job to do. All of them!

[@JulesMarriner]

Hello Yogi Joy. Last night, my other dog wanted a wee at midnight, and when I opened the front door there was a 'Wall Lizard' walking along my path. In *January* ! At *night* ! In a place where I've never ever seen lizards before. I wonder if it was him....

[@beckimiller7090]

My father died this fall. Grief is odd. It does come in waves. I find that admitting when I'm having a hard day helps. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm grateful you had such a dear pet for so long.

[@charoulachr]

Dear Jules, I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with so much at the same time. Personally, I find comfort in thinking that our beloved ones, in your case, your dog, aren't suffering anymore, that they are at peace. While I respect different beliefs, it's confronting to imagine that he is in a better place now, free from pain and troubles, and perhaps even happy. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Warm hugs 🤍🕊️ 🌟Your drawing is beautiful and cozy🌟and I can’t wait to order your new book!

[@JulesMarriner]

Hi Charoula! Oh thanks, that's really nice to hear. I do think he is in a better place, and I bet my Mum was there to greet him. They loved each other very much ❤ Warm hugs back. x

[@deirdrelewis1454]

There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel any better. It will take as long as it takes. Having lost many pets down the years, it never gets any easier but at least we know that we gave every one of them a good life. God bless you and your family.

[@monicas9603]

My dog Caesar is nearing the rainbow bridge and his final sleep too.... I cry a lot and don't know how to make the decision as to when... He has liver cancer and so my house is covered with waterproof pee pads. He lost his hearing and most of his eyesight...he's so skinny too. It's so hard to watch them fade away and I know wading through the grief after his being my constant companion for 15 years will be devastating, as you know. Thanks for letting me blabber on but my heart hurts for you....

[@suewegert2323]

At my age I’ve lost many family members, both 2 and 4 legged, and friends. Time does ease the pain but it helps to remember the good times. Sorry you have so many problems at once. Prayers for you and your husband. ❤️

[@alysiacrowe2915]

I’m sad for your loss. I lost my sweet boy this past September. He was 14 yrs. Old. He was a teacher for me. He taught me how to love doggies. I miss him daily and I love to look at all of my photos of him often. I’m always laughing through my tears. I think that helps.

[@revelation7262]

One day at a time ❤ Peace be with you ☮️ Love your artwork, your videos, and your inspiration! 💕🔆

[@SunshineLeclair]

G'morning Jules, I can totally relate to your grief. Three weeks ago we said good bye to our sweetheart of a boy, our 16 year old ( two months short of 17) parson russel; Junior. Add to that that that two and a half months before him, I lost my mom. The grief, so heavy to carry. I too am a visual creative empath, everything in pictures in my mind. Cremation was very hard for me to swallow and reminders that the soul or spirit have left the physical body helped somewhat. I could go on about the details of how things happened and how I tried to feel each feeling and let it pass through, but somewhere a long time ago, I heard the words "with great love comes great pain" - and now I finally understand it. I try and remind myself of the blessing it was to have had them in my life for so long and that I will keep them alive by keeping their memory alive. I'd better stop typing or I'll go on for too long. Wishing you easier days ahead ;) Canadian hugs, Sunshine

[@Treeweavers]

Always good to see another video from you, Jules. Regarding grief: It does seem to be a process that we can’t short-circuit. It’s a valley we have to walk through. I don’t know how much energy you have, since you’re already dealing with your husband’s illness. But one way to distract yourself from the grief of losing your dog would be to get a puppy. I recommend the Golden Retriever. We had one for eleven years, and Lucky was without a doubt the best dog I’ve ever known. Best wishes from Oregon, Howard

[@JulesMarriner]

Thanks Howard. I think distraction is good :)

[@LUCKEY11202.]

Sorry,for your loss. I fully understand what you are feeling,I too lost my beloved pet Luckey, he was 15, but as I was fighting cancer he passed. Just allow the grief to come in waves,it will get better.❤

[@TW-sb7ug]

Grieving is very hard. At the end of 2022 I lost my brother. Plus I had lost dad and my sister many years ago. This time it hit me so hard. It took a year of prayer and journaling and now I think I am climbing out of it a bit. I am very sorry for your loss . I understand as we lost a dear pet to cancer. Prayers to you and your family. ❤❤❤️

[@tamarmills8593]

You are very brave to bring your reality of loss and grief as we can lean in and grieve with you dear!

[@alisonjones3057]

I just found you ! Happy that I did 😊 when my soul cat was run over and killed at 2 years old last year that shock and grief was overwhelming, but instead of trying to cover it up I had to face it and allow myself to feel all of the difficult emotions. It was horrible but I feel like I made a better recovery. I'm so sorry that you are going through a bad time , I really hope you feel better soon and in your own time ❤

[@olwynnsay237]

It is heartbreaking losing anyone and pets too. I felt heartbroken when I lost my hamster even as an adult as she was such a friendly, cheeky little thing. I lost both my parents within 9 days of each other 8 years ago (my dad on 25th December and my mum on the 3rd January.). It was such a difficult time. I think of them on those dates every year and of course at times throughout the year but I focus on my children which has helped hugely. I think it just takes time to adjust to the 'new' situation. It is important too to take time for yourself and take care. Do things that you know you enjoy and are uplifting. 💕

[@JulesMarriner]

Oh Olwynn, that's very hard losing your parents so close together. I think you are right about adjusting. Thanks for your advice x

[@Ncstefanie]

Hi Jules, I just found your channel today, and I am in the same situation; It's been 9 days since i had to put my golden retriever down. I am so sorry for your loss; Wally looks like such a fun pup. My guy was 9 years old with many health complications and he just couldn't go on. Saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. These waves of grief seem to be neverending right now :( Let's hope they subside and give way to cherished memories very soon. {{HUGS}}

[@jessicaharvey8125]

Thanks for sharing this, Jules. We lost our cat Oscar today, and he looked a bit like your cosy kitty here. We don't have a fire place, but he loved to sit in any patch of sunlight he could find around the house. He was 14 years old. The pain is still very strong today, but it helped a little bit listening to your story and your grief. Pets are such a special part of life!

[@JulesMarriner]

Sending you lots of love Jessica. You will always have your dear Oscar in your heart ❤️

[@tamarmills8593]

I'm so very sorry as you are going thru this heavy hearted time. We remember how it feels as we lost our dear Rollie. Praying you have good memories to ease the pain as time goes on. We always say we see Rollie come to visit and check on us when little white butterflies show up in our garden

[@GriffithsJacqueline]

We understand, most of us love have our Doggies we love like part of the family. I was given the advice that I needed a replacement. It was a BIG No from me, I couldn't replace my Darling Honey, but after about 6 months, my Partner bought me a beautiful little bundle of fluff & my heart melted, it was love at first sight! They all have their little characteristics that are so special to them. After 6 months I didn't think I was ready, but I was. You love your fur baby & you have love returned unconditionally. It's very hard to heal but there will come a day when you will smile when something jogs your memory. When you can smile, your ready.

[@raylanadamsdiscoverychanne2816]

Hi Jules, It is Antoinette. It is ok to cry...your furry baby was part of your everyday life. Let it out. We all understand... Big hugs and lottts of love sent your way from Virginia Beach, VA to you. 🤗

[@JulesMarriner]

Thanks Antoinette. Big hugs back! x

[@KJ-zr2ko]

❤So sorry for your loss. We always feel better when we do something for someone else. Offer to volunteer at a shelter. These dogs and cats need love too. Volunteer at a rescue center these pests need love too.

[@stephmcclaren2539]

It's very hard and I'm not going to lie it hurts like hell but take comfort that you loved him and he loved you. It gets better with time 💚

[@ArtwithVikkiC]

You really do have to let it pass through. I just lost my cat yesterday and I'm dealing with a breaking in a new dog . You sound like you have a good attitude about it. Not all days will be good but hope tomorrow will be better .

[@Unfinished_Business8]

Sorry to hear your furbaby was so poorly, hard decision but he's not in pain anymore and try to focus on the memories that made you all smile xxx sending lots of love

[@sherrylbradford2191]

I am sorry for the challenging time. Losing pets is terribly painful. What you are doing is the best way to allow your heart time to adjust to the loss. Hoping your husband gets through this journey well and safely. ❤

[@jonavin2361]

Dear Jules, I'm only just watching this and wanted to send my kindest wishes and big hugs to you. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I do know it must be very very painful. Be kind to yourself, they say acceptance is peace, so I hope you can find peace. I also wish the very best for your husband xxx

[@JulesMarriner]

Thank you Jo, that is so kind x

[@jenniferevelynhayes]

I’m so sorry for your loss. 😔❤

[@sharonc7031]

I appreciate the idea of walking through it, when the serges occur...

[@andreaschneider6202]

Dear Jules, I cannot feel sorrier about the demise of Wally😭 I wish there were "magic" words to remove your emotional pain...an online friend, whose beloved mother passed away (just a few months ago), very recently replied to me by saying something along the line of, "I cannot imagine this getting any easier." with reference to the fact that she has been told by others that the grief will lessen after "the first year". Frankly, my feeling is that it is not the truth according to some individuals who are grieving and mourning. I just hope that you will have the ability to take comfort in wonderful memories of Wally, at some point, as grieving is a gradual and slow process (at least to my mind). I am sending much love and always will wish the best for you as well as your family, Andrea

[@JulesMarriner]

Thank you Andrea ❤️

[@andreaschneider6202]

@@JulesMarriner You are quite welcome, dear Jules (it certainly was the least I could have done). Your ongoing inspiration to many of us is extraordinary. Sending love and prayers, Andrea

[@tracystattart]

Ive just discovered your channel and im trying to get myself back into art as a way of coping. My 6 year old daughter passed 2 weeks ago from a brain tumour and I have to carry on for my 2 year old. I know art has always helped me in the past and as i was goign though your videos this one started playing. We also lost my little 15yo dog that has been through everything with me, Ive had her all my adult life. I just wanted to say thank you for these videos that approach art in a non intimidating way. Im sorry for your loss and those firsts are so tough and hit you like a ton of bricks. Can i suggest tapping? Look up tapping on youtube, its helping me when i feel like my chest is ripping in two xxx❤

[@morandi9inna9marius]

I still remember when we lost our cat 9 years ago, he was only 3, but had health problems. He adored my mum and didn't like me. We tried to save him, but it was too late and sometimes I still blame myself for it, because I could've get up earlier to check on him. It was a nightmare, I lost my voice for 3 days, couldn't go to work. But the day we lost The Cat (he hadn't the name actually, they just didn't stuck though sometimes we called him The Ruler Of The World) we adopted new kitten. She was so scared, I remember her running under my sister's coat, but the minute I took her on my hands she felt calmer and just stopped. She helped me to get through, she was around these days I didn't go to work. She's mine, I'm her's and I love her to bits, she's like a cat version of me, my Lyolya (1,5 years later we got another cat, Lilya, and she's totally mum's). Tears streaming down my face as I'm writing this. I hope my Lyolya will leave a long life, my perfect Scottish-fold.

[@JulesMarriner]

That’s beautiful. I’m so glad you found your soul cat ❤️

[@Loriann3616]

I’m sorry 😞 ❤

[@KateShaw2]

❤

[@sharonc7031]

We have Wally to be welcomed by Robin (Williams) to find his loving arms and a joke, of course. God bless your family. Sharon, The Angelien. Nanu, nanu.

[@artsketchbookingandstuff]

Go outside. At least once a day. Have a cup of tea or go to the park by the water doesn't matter go outside it helps

[@MyRainbowangel]

Ls19 to last comment I also had tiny blood bleed in my brain so I developed small stutter which eventually went but my writing still effected. I miss words of double up as,above. If Edited I lose my thread just better to get my thoughts down. Hope you and readers can decipher.

[@MyRainbowangel]

It doesn't help with auto correct e.g. Ps to LS as above

[@jmjanacek4335]

🫂🙏

[@jimschneider993]

Call on the name of Jesus and he will give you peace ❤

[@bonnienewell4040]

My heart hurts for you. Grief is one thing we all know too well ❤️‍🩹. I love the thought that grief is simply evidence of love. That was the thought I hung onto when my mom passed. I was able to let go of the idea of getting over it or putting on a brave face and just allowing myself to feel it not as a bad thing but as a holy beautiful thing as it came over me. People say they hope you'll find healing but grief isn't something broken it's something in you working exactly perfectly and it's all just love so it's not something to be afraid of walking with for me anymore. I hope you find comfort.

[@JulesMarriner]

Hi Bonnie, that's so helpful. I think someone said that depth of grief is equal to depth of love, or something like that. I like what you say about grief not being something broken but something that is working perfectly. Well said! Thank you x

[@janetzefferj1929]

❤