Bert Kreischer's The Machine Movie Flop? - Movie Review

[@New_Gaming_Chair]

Bert Kreischer is the Nickelback of comedy. Except I don't secretly keep a Bert Kreischer CD in my car.

[@williamz7011]

Epic comment

[@RickKosickFilms]

Hilarious

[@joseaguayo6802]

I’m taking this what’s your name I need to credit you 😂

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

This made me hyena laugh

[@JD-cm8nd]

I’ve never related to something so much

[@Ty-Mirrors]

I can barely stand to listen to Bert for free. No way I’m spending money to watch him shirtless on the big screen.

[@ramonbriones4487]

Exactly. He's legit insufferable

[@Epicstreams1337]

properly summarized:")

[@JohnnyNada]

I hate him doing but I'm going to see this because I'm bored and it's 8 bucks lol

[@timmysvensson4902]

Well Bert is more enjoyable than this content creator.. but that doesnt say much tbh.

[@johnb3345]

best comment - i 100% agree - ive always felt bert was wildly willy overrated. i dont uberstand his popularity

[@StacksOnBricks]

The fact that Joe was so awkward and trying to get Bert to stop the kissing scene story demonstrates Bert’s complete lack of self-awareness

[@frequentsee3815]

Dude..

[@_munkykok_]

Plus a lack of what's funny awareness... For some reason, he counts as a comedian though. (And a successful one, too??) I guess reality's so warped through the influence of algorithms and media, reframing, lies, brainwash and so forth, that that's what we get. Zero sense and shit floats on top.

[@SalamiCellar]

@@_munkykok_ he counts as a successful comedian because he sells out stadiums, who is buying these tickets? Couldn’t tell ya, only guy I met who likes Bert is a drunk who admits to not paying attention most of the time

[@IvyMay-qn2ys]

How many Machines do you know that are self aware? Its miracle of modern science that they're able to keep him upright long enough to do a show.

[@_munkykok_]

@@SalamiCellar Fair point, whether something's a good show or merely background noise doesn't come through in superficial stats (views/tickets numbers).

[@matthewpoblenz2371]

Honestly I'm just over the machine story

[@republicangenz]

im over burt. cash me outside chick from doctor phil made more sense than this guy being famous

[@gstylez0107]

​@@republicangenz Seriously. He's a narcissistic dipshit. Fuck Bert.

[@ThatGuy-bj3wy]

They should've just launched it last year the Russian War be damned

[@Arco961]

Everyone is

[@ramonbriones4487]

I've never heard it and don't care to either.

[@rufusblue8044]

It's getting to the point where it feels like people are trying to guilt you for them to be famous.

[@7ItalianStallion]

Dude it's been like that for a while. These podcasting things have been bringing on a hell of a lot of begging. Even when people like santino says on bad friends oh I swear I use this all the time I think to myself there's no way he does he doesn't have to work a regular job he doesn't need any of these weird products that help people with like problems and stuff they just want us to buy whatever they're selling no matter if it's trash

[@rufusblue8044]

@7ItalianStallion come on, I'm a nice guy, it's only a few dollars come behind my pay wall and continue to over use gay jokes to where it gets really uncomfortable

[@cameronfielder4955]

@@7ItalianStallion yeah no shit. The worst is when these guys have a patreon. Literally begging normal people for money, when they are rich. Rogan has the sense not to stoop that low

[@drunkensenseiii]

​@@rufusblue8044 not only that, but the Patreon is NEVER worth it. You get like 1 day earlier access to their videos uncensored, it's like they think we're just DYING to see their videos 😂

[@drunkensenseiii]

​@@cameronfielder4955 I instantly click off when these fucks start talking about money. Nobody wants to hear a rich person talk about money. Yet they think people give a fuck

[@Iam36ty5]

None of these comedians should be making movies. They're podcasters first, comedians second. They've let the podcast success inflate their ego way too much.

[@DABA2024]

This is why Segura doubled down on selling shitty merch and really exploiting his fans. Tom thinks he should be a movie star too LOLOLOL

[@nickm8874]

Spot on

[@anthonywandowicz8084]

Stand up then podcast

[@Iam36ty5]

@@anthonywandowicz8084 No. They are podcasters first. They were all failures before podcasts

[@seppyteppy]

You sound like a loser that thinks he knows way more than he does No different than saying “shut up and dribble” to a pro basketball player while you sit on the sidelines and suck down a coke next to your depressed fat wife

[@ll4680]

“Its a 300 million dollar movie budget…swear to god. Best movie to have come out in 130 years for a leading non pedestrian. Im not lying” - Bert Kreischer

[@taylorshank9443]

I think Brett Krystals said that, not sure who you’re talking about

[@Vorenus875]

A HUUUNNNNDRED percent 🤣

[@RickyWatter32]

THATS FUNNY CAUSE YEEEEEEW SAIIIIDD 😂 YOUU SAIDDD 😂😂😂😂YOU SAID - BUUUUUUUEEEEEEERRTTTT 😂😂😂😂- Bert

[@greentroll5234]

Hack movie

[@santiagosolanonavarro7055]

"On my sons!!!"

[@Ridiculousman2nd]

My problem with Bert is not only the fact he isn't funny, but also the fact that he is stuck in a permanent state of "drunk uncle hangs out with nephews and friends" behaviour.

[@mq6389]

And is in denial constantly about his alcoholism

[@steven1479]

I don't think he's funny, but I also don't like him for being a gladhanding careerist liar. All of his stories are lies, and his constant squeal-laugh makes me despise him with all my being.

[@rgoeman9368]

I don't like most of his standup or podcast, but it was an enjoyable movie

[@Jinn-y2u]

he only wants to talk about himself lol

[@RambofromWarzone]

Here me out. Tom Segura isn’t funny either.

[@drunkensenseiii]

I wish i could see Patrice rip bert apart 😂

[@budoolove5887]

Maaaaannnn. Seriously. He wouldn't exist.

[@DABA2024]

Love the guys who just reference ‘Patrice’ to show they’re in the know 😂😂 This generation’s Bill Hicks - in terms of people dropping his name (first only, to show you’re legit!).

[@zackwalhovd3076]

❤

[@MrTakeYoBitsh]

Patrice and Greg Giraldo would brutalize Bert and Brenda.

[@treynoldsman1981]

Right!!?? How is this accepted as comedy

[@anthonybogus5688]

Bert paid 30 million dollars to finally kiss another woman on the lips

[@xosammyb]

He definitely cheats on his wife all the time I'm sure

[@dankskpeeto3955]

💀

[@carloscjr23]

That's commitment bro!😂😂😂 Bert has love for the game

[@78LedHead]

If this movie isn't a sure sign that Hollywood's dead, IDK what is. They're toast.

[@daylight3325]

Not dead just no one goes to movies in droves. Been waiting for avatar 2 for over a decade and I’ll probably watch next year sometime

[@dr.bright3081]

@@daylight3325naw they are dying for sure. And good riddance.

[@sergiootero5904]

The non-stop remakes and sequels weren't enough for ya?

[@dr.bright3081]

@@sergiootero5904 HEY! GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT VERY SOLID AND GOOD WHILE ALSO OBVIOUS TAKE!

[@78LedHead]

@@sergiootero5904 Preach! There hasn't been a truly original film in decades. The Marvel and Star Wars garbage is all that's left.

[@JKAV_76]

I'm genuinely concerned anyone thinks he is funny in general, let alone enough to have a movie

[@braydenfury9272]

Alright negative Nancy

[@willpowerfpv3246]

I think Bert is funny, but not in the classic comedian way. His laughter is infectious, and he tells good stories, but I've not been able to sit through any of his stand-up specials since the one where he first told the machine story. I really enjoy him and Tom's podcast, and he's a likable character. I might watch this when it streams for free, but I'm keeping my expectations realistic.

[@republicangenz]

@@willpowerfpv3246 his laughter is the worst part about him bro

[@lejamesbron5880]

@@willpowerfpv3246 Minus all the drama, that's how i kind of feel about Schaub.

[@larrygerry985]

I don't get it as well. Taking off a shirt as a fat man is not genius

[@K9_50Cal]

I can honestly say I've avoided ever hearing the machine story lol

[@smizzomgmt9957]

Why? So you have never listened to anything from Bert but come to his KZbin videos just to hate?

[@stewartdowouis9218]

@@smizzomgmt9957 That’s the internet in a nutshell.

[@TheNatZShadow11]

@@smizzomgmt9957 no, he said not the machine story. I can’t speak for him entirely but I have listened to a lot of 2 bears 1 cave and Bert on Joe Rogan and know I do not find him funny or like his comedy. I still have never listened to the machine story either but that speaks a lot about you as a fan if you think the countless hours of content out of Bert is just the machine story over and over again lmao

[@smizzomgmt9957]

@@TheNatZShadow11 never said i was a fan but sometimes he is funny. Thats it. And yea anyone saying they are "fan" would know the machine story. Its his claim to fame. Why are you here if you dont think he is funny at all tho? And why watch his podcast? Lol weirdo

[@bryannicholas2130]

@@TheNatZShadow11 most of his content is him weezing and fake laughing

[@RefriedBaby]

If he hadn't said the story 10 thousand times already, and he maybe took a couple acting classes, they could have broken even on the movie at least.

[@jamk2668]

The movie is obviously not good (just like most American films these days) but it will make its money back. It was barely a domestic wide release and the promotion was extremely minimal so they were banking on making their money back with vod sales and streaming rights eventually. Bert is the one that probably convinced screen gems that it will at least do decent business in the theatres.

[@thema1998]

​@@jamk2668 The movie not only didn't make its money back, grossing only $10.7 million against a $20 million production budget, but also bombed at the box office. I don't see it doing very well on Video on Demand. I had never heard anybody talk about this comedian until the movie came out!

[@RagnarLK]

You can see Joe cringing in pain hearing Bart retell the kiss scene story.

[@BaconNMegs]

Bert trying to cover up the fact that he has definitely cheated on his wife lol "I havent cheated on you in-ever" lol okay Bert

[@Space_Ghost_Hunter]

Every time he talks about his wife he mentions how he has never cheated on her. Sus af

[@mrjuanderfuI]

​​@@Space_Ghost_Huntereah its something you dont need to mention if it's a non issue "the lady doth protest too much"

[@Sprayzer92]

5:42 the way Joe says ‘oh Bert’ is so like a disapproving mother listening to their dumb son 😂😂 it cracks me up.

[@austinschindle4706]

Who doesn’t wear underwear🤣🤣

[@RicardoHernandezGTX]

Bert is the true living embodiment of dumb luck

[@dr.bright3081]

Dumb and fat luck, you mean

[@chickentoucher55]

@@dr.bright3081 you can hate him, but you have to know that most scientific evidence supports that we have no free will and if we were to start over again we would be in the exact same position again, every action had a 100% probability of happening, we have no free will, he’s still annoying though

[@clintscollectables]

@@chickentoucher55this sounds like someone trying to find a reason to stop trying lol

[@frostyflakkes2692]

@@chickentoucher55Pessimistic nihilism like that will destroy your ability to enjoy life. If nothing matters, isn’t that a good thing?

[@Neo-Kable]

Imagine not being able to play yourself in your movie.

[@brianng8350]

It is the difference between a movie being successful or box office flop, people need to know their limits.

[@frankmarshall9245]

The story is 30 years old

[@blaacksugar7714]

Oh he "played" himself alright

[@Niffumable]

​@@blaacksugar7714lolllllll

[@Niffumable]

​@blaacksugar7714 I never say this, because it's usually."cringe"... But, 'UNDERRATED COMMEN5 BRO" lol.sorry had a sip 🍻

[@lowbee6391]

Loose pants and no underwear to the kissing scene is the grossest scumbag move ever.

[@_munkykok_]

☹

[@angelgjr1999]

Don’t forget Bret is also racist!

[@willpowerfpv3246]

​@@angelgjr1999oh, good to know. I guess I won't watch Bret's movie either.. 🙃

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Yes so gross

[@ahsatan8997]

I hate him in glad he proves why

[@ahsatan8997]

Id rather watch Macgruber on repeat 100 times than five minutes of Bert doing anything. Somehow i bet its more true to reality too

[@jwetzel9112]

Dude Magruber is sooooo good

[@andresoyervides5324]

Macgruber will get multiple genuine laughs out of you.

[@vinylholicsanonymous3871]

Magruber rules.

[@devadasn]

I’ll be honest I haven’t seen it, and don’t feel the need to support Bert like I used to especially after he says things like we are all pedestrians. He doesn’t respect his fans and is constantly ignoring valid criticism. He’s becoming Schaub

[@dustinhoneyman825]

Really 😂

[@_munkykok_]

Sounds like a fair/honest/unbiased review, thanks!

[@Carbie69]

Sarcasm level 100

[@_munkykok_]

​@@Carbie69 No, I meant it for real. All things considered, which is to say despite previous (also fair) critiques, or in short: despite Bert not being funny, still being able to separate the good from the bad and to say some positive things about the film is pretty cool, fair and good. Props to that. (#LetsNotBeHaters)

[@BrandonOfJapan]

​@MUNKYKOK nice troll 😂

[@chuckfilming]

"i haven't cheated on you in like...ugh...ever". slip up haha

[@therealmattdamon5161]

I heard that too

[@bobafeet1234]

Bert Kreischer is like the comedy and podcasting mascot… he just giggles and smiles while the talented players put in all the work. They just keep him around because he cheers them up.

[@chrisk1180]

Does he though? I think his success comes from the fact that he's good at marketing. But I think his squeel gets old for everyone

[@mmaasphalt2285]

Don’t forget the ufc promoted “The Machine” on the corner of the cage for 2-3 events

[@siennad587]

I was surprised how much action was in it. The run time was way, way to long. No way it needed to be 2 hours. I’d watch it again. It wasn’t awful… The supporting actors were the best part. Like you said they carried that film.

[@Arcadian_Leontus]

Wow what fucking loser 💀💀💀💀💀

[@angelgjr1999]

Supporting actors carried it, the movie has an amazing cast. My favorite is the Russian lady. Her lines were hilarious. It was almost awkward how out of his level Bert was compared to the others.

[@siennad587]

@@angelgjr1999 totally agree. I like her brother too. I thought he did a great job too.

[@ForsakenAutumn]

Look at Frasier, that show, the main guy wasn't the best or funniest, he had a by far better cast around him and were the highlight vs him.

[@lukesilka8888]

Disagree. The movie was trash. The whole “I can’t kill people.” Scene by the dad is garbage and the movie probably said the word “machine” a million times

[@thedecendent17]

I dont care about this movie whether it fails or succeeds. Its hard to care about a man who activley dislikes his fans and calls them pedestrians because we're not the same or rich. Man forgets where his money comes from.

[@Xtractor716]

Bert comes from an “upper middle class” family, he was never struggling. That’s part of how he was able to stay in college for so long and peruse stand up.

[@thedecendent17]

@@Xtractor716 that's a fair point, I had forgotten that was how he grew up. However I still think that, the fact that he had that safety net, as well as the privilege of growing up well off enough does effect how one views his/her acquired wealth, be that from their own or family's. To me, it seems to create more of a disconnect from the star and their fans. In any medium. Thank you for your comment by the way I didn't mean to be/seem combative or bitter. I appreciate the check.

[@Xtractor716]

@@thedecendent17 definitely didn’t take it in a combative way 👍🏻. Looks like we completely agree here. 👌🏻

[@angelgjr1999]

@@Xtractor716 Tom and Bert both grew up rich. Not middle class, but rich. I don’t care except when Bert gets into his rants claiming he’s better than everyone, he’s not. Bert has one memorial bit and Rogan is the reason why he’s popular. Bert needs to get humbled up.

[@brandendierker5873]

​@@angelgjr1999a memorial bit?

[@rickyhernandez769]

"like John Wick meets Jack Black...if Jack Black was a horrible actor" LMAO bro that was like a samurai katana sword cutting clean through this project. Jeez 🔥

[@bbyjohn11]

The people who should be embarrassed are those who actually watched the movie.

[@alexcastillo1384]

😂😂

[@evergreenrider]

Hallelujah brother

[@bbyjohn11]

This dude walked in the theater with a soda and popcorn expecting a sold out crowd? That’s hilarious.

[@atlebakke]

And the small crowd made him feel "pretty offended"!? What??

[@nickm8874]

Quite right

[@boosterbrosllc4681]

They missed the window to capitalize on the machine story. It’s already been milked. With that said, I’ll watch it when it gets added to Hulu etc

[@jakebiebel8609]

His role was supposed to be sober 😭

[@shevchenko7cfc941]

I want this to fail SO bad that Bert never works again, but that wont happen because Tom Segura and Joe Rogan feel too bad for him

[@bcarl7953]

He may not be a person of morales to your standards, but that doesn't justify wanting a man to be destitute and to wish the worst in him. That's a bit unnecessarily vicious, no?

[@timpoolssentientbeanie5646]

⁠​⁠@@bcarl7953 where did they say anything about destitute or wishing the worst for him? They just said never work again, presumably only talking about the entertainment field. He should be fine on what he’s made up to this point, and if not, he can get a real job for the first time in his life.

[@Arcadian_Leontus]

@@bcarl7953 fuck him and you he makes comedy looks terrible

[@angelgjr1999]

@@bcarl7953 It would do good for Bert to leave the industry for a while, focus on his health and family. He’s in his 50s and still acts like a college frat boy.

[@bcarl7953]

@@angelgjr1999 I suppose we could all be a little better to ourselves, but that's not what this man above is saying.

[@famalam943]

Weirdly, movie Bert is much nicer than real Bert. These comedians way over exposed. They’re used as background noise no one cares about them

[@StudioKujira]

somewhere around the 3rd sober october i slowly started to dislike bert. like his cooking show use to be the sh*t, now its unbearable. i kinda feel bad for him cuz i can see where his career is headed and itll be a bumpy road. life is going to humble him. safe bet id say

[@scat_in_da_hat6648]

I agree 100%, I think once people started to actually learn who he is as a person he became unbearable cause he just a loud lazy narcissistic piece of shit

[@TheStealthyPyro]

Damn it is creepy as hell to talk about getting hard while working like that. Super uncool to the chick to say that stuff

[@snafuperman]

Imagine if his wife said she got a little wet from kissing an actor or something. Joe should’ve held him accountable like men do, but Joe didn’t want to gaslight him in public because Joe is a cheater himself. Men who cheat cannot be trusted in relationships nor friendships. They’re all sex deviants

[@RandyNachoManSandwich]

​@@snafuperman thank you for sharing!

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Agreed like weird wtf

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

​

[@sibeproductions4387]

Barf is delusional and retarded, an alcoholic

[@ayehodgy5675]

people are surprised? itll do a little better when it gets put on streaming services but its not surprising

[@LucrativeLarry]

Who said anyone surprised 😂

[@angelgjr1999]

I was surprised how empty the theatre was on Memorial Day. I was literally just me and like 4 other guys in the whole room…

[@ayehodgy5675]

@@angelgjr1999 i had a similar experience i didnt think it would be that bad tho

[@ramonbriones4487]

​@@angelgjr1999 it's Bert lol. How would it be good?

[@lography6917]

Santino and Burr could do it since they're actors, but I'd be surprised if they made more movies like this

[@eddiez9548]

Bert, Whitney, and Schultz man they're the trinity of being out of touch.

[@yuk4z3]

I get it with Bert and Whitney, but Schultz... like it or not, is killing it rn

[@eddiez9548]

@@yuk4z3 I dont even think killing it, it's an absolute smokescreen. I think if they all take advantage of Joe Rogan. They do whatever it takes to get that publicity on his podcast. Then they try to shell out content and act like there super tight with him. And other movie people flock to them to test if there Hollywood's material or use there following as cash grab trend. It's the classic Hollywood Formula now. I mean I used to like Schultz but look at his way of doing things, he grabs guest like Rogan thinks just cuz he's from NY he can joke about race but it doesn't vibe with people cause they don't know em like tht it's just a East coast thing. When the jokes dont vibe it turns to therapy. And he even mimics Joe Rogans attitude of "oh I know everything". His show USED to be funny when it was his thing. now dude has become the new Ellen.

[@mrfiddle7578]

Dont forget the complete idiot narcissist retard Brenda Shlaub,

[@zetagpu519]

Schaub*

[@eddiez9548]

@@zetagpu519 Quartet 😂😂😂

[@nickjay2619]

I honestly thought in this day and age that they can make anyone look good in a movie...guess not

[@SkoolNerds]

This might be the gayest comment on KZbin.

[@Ty-Mirrors]

I hated the fact he was using peoples love for when comedy movies were popular and actually funny as a guilt trip to go see his

[@Atomic-Dawg]

Bert should've pulled back his presence online leading up to the release. He also shouldn't say stuff like the future of comedy movies depends on how well his movie does.

[@frankmarshall9245]

He didn't say that. No way. I really hope your joking. It might be the exact opposite

[@xtro.]

@@frankmarshall9245 dude youre in every reply hating on bert😂 get a life man, your favorite comedian would roast you for wasting your time on something this dumb.

[@TheDwightMamba]

​@@frankmarshall9245 , Bert said that on a few different podcasts, in case your reply wasn't sarcasm.

[@Niffumable]

Wtf??? Please elaborate. This has to be the dumbest shit ever said.

[@skills7585]

It was a decent comedy movie, I saw it after work second day it was out. The theater it was being shown on had at maybe like fifteen to twenty people but overall the theater was basically empty and this theater was always basically packed before the pandemic.

[@A_YouTube_Commenter]

I was there with you and I went to get sleep in the theater.

[@ExoRifleman]

As time goes on, Bert becomes less funny where as his friends and peers stay funny

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

His peers actually become funnier. Not all of them but they're changing with their audience. Beet is the type of comedian where someone who lives under a rock finally finds his stand up and is dumb enough to think he's funny

[@stephendexheimer7914]

Honestly I saw this movie with a couple of friends of mine and didn’t hate it, definitely seemed more of a streaming release movie than theatrical release but nonetheless it had some funny scenes, Jimmy Tatro as Young Bert was a great casting choice and I’m glad he’s made that big transition from KZbin to mainstream movies and tv, also Mark Hamill as Bert’s dad was hilarious and his insults towards Bert got me a few times and this movie did more justice to Mark Hamill than The Last Jedi honestly

[@nickm8874]

Don’t try and tempt me in with my mark h affection / anger at the last jedi!

[@ResidentRaccoon]

raving review...in other words, it sucks

[@frarfarf]

So this is the type of person that allows this cringelord to sell out arenas. Just easily satisfied by garbage as long as it passes the time

[@josmith213]

F the movie theaters, I can make my own popcorn with real butter and pink Himalayan salt (no microwave bag shit), no margarine sprayed on my popcorn, no shit ass table salt, drink a beer, I have dolby atmos, subwoofer, tactile transducers in the couch with recliners on each end, my girl can drink some wine, the dog lays in the middle, 70" LED TV, should i go on why its better to just stay home? No driving, no finding parking and walking a 1/4 mile to the theater, nobody breaking into your car, no rushing to make the time it starts after working all day. I guess I'm saying F movie theaters, ill see it when I can stream it. So maybe it didn't do good not because it was bad, maybe just because F movie theaters

[@JoshHitti]

Bert just objectively isn’t funny. I don’t get the momentum behind his career.

[@Piggyn]

It's his relentless self-promotion. He works hard, but he's more obsessed with being famous than being a great comedian.

[@chadwillett619]

Comedy is subjective so you are just talking shit.

[@JoshHitti]

@@Piggyn I think you hit the nail on the head

[@mikes62soupcan]

I don't know why , but I've never been this disgusted by an actor or comedian than I am with Bert. I have a visceral hate for him that I've never had before, and I'm not sure why.

[@marcosgin777]

Probably because your life sucks

[@ThursonJames]

Bert’s film sounds like the movie that Kenny Powers made about himself at the end of Eastbound and Down.

[@realBatman-89]

You bite your tongue Richard Simmons 😡😡😡 Kenny "MF" Powers is a god damn national treasure. An icon for 2 generations.

[@ThursonJames]

@@realBatman-89 Can’t you see Bert with an assistant with Downs?

[@drex5160]

We've already heard the machine story multiple times. Why would you go see a movie about it? 🤷‍♂️

[@ScottRoofwalker]

Saw it the other night. The movie was OK. I think I would’ve enjoyed it more if I didn’t have the expectation of just seeing a visual representation of the machine comedy bit. I for the most part so it wasn’t funny. I only laughed a couple of times in the movie and they weren’t like uncontrollable laughs. Wild hogs is still funnier, and I’ve seen that 100 times.

[@shaunpaulkeaney4862]

The machine really is the wonder wall of comedy now

[@TTVLeMarkieMark]

I don't know whether it's comical or sad that some people thought Brent Krustmoore's movie was gonna do good...

[@MelKibson]

If he did that movie like 6 years ago it might be funny

[@anthonybogus5688]

Haha yes

[@9tailskyle]

Me and my girl walked out 25 minutes I. It was an embarrassing movie

[@Jesse-hk8ls]

I’m not surprised. Bert’s grift is super annoying. Congrats on milking that cow to the bone.

[@adellis24]

As someone who knows the Box Office industry its biggest competition was "About My Father' as it was a film with a similar enough background & basic plot/premise, even if the final acts ultimately fall into different genres.

[@adellis24]

Don't make me rip into the numbers because this filmed is f'd up in terms of even coming close to breaking even.

[@squirtXreynolds]

"As someone who knows the box office industry" phew, glad to know there are a few non-pedestrian professional Hollywood folk in the comments

[@adellis24]

@@squirtXreynolds Yeah, having read the comments it is striking to see how little people know about the film business yet seemingly feel comfortable commenting on it without even a morsel of common sense. So yes, you and the rest of the sarcastic scumbags are Bert’s definition of pedestrian & I’ll be around to remind you whenever that slips your mind.

[@nickm8874]

@@squirtXreynolds hahaha

[@downfromthereeefters]

I can't believe this movie exists, the cover alone is offensive to my senses. Sometimes I just feel so out of touch with what other people find enjoyable.

[@Tojoblindeye]

Wait, he was supposed to be sober since the machine story in the movie 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@derrick7648]

To be honest, Mark Hamill has never been a good actor either everyone just loves him because he was Luke Skywalker

[@laxlyfters8695]

Also I hate to say this but this is the most original movie out in Hollywood. Think about it. It is not a remake, it is not a sequel and the story is legit original. Most original story in theaters in years.

[@DABA2024]

Yeah but it is a story he already beat to DEATH, and the only people who will even think about seeing this movie are the ones who have heard Bert tell this story over and over again already.

[@Outlier68]

Calling Mark Hamill a “great actor” is your first clue that this guy isn’t living on the same plane of existence as the rest of us. I wouldn’t watch it for free, let alone pay to see such dross.

[@GhostIslandThunder]

My man came in clutch right on time for dinner

[@LucrativeLarry]

Says you….😂 I ate yesterday

[@Whowhatwherewhendude]

It was an ok movie, not any worse than some of the bs being churned out in the last decade. Burt’s acting was good enough to not distract me.

[@blippitybloo]

Pah its not as bad as these comments are making it out to be. I've seen way worse. The Bert hate bandwagon these so many people do now to "stay cool" even though they're lonely idiots on YT.

[@edystock4685]

Y’all just mad this movie is good and y’all hating on a guy who is living life y’all just sad people and it shows

[@micknightmare3]

it will suck if it tanks. i want Tropic Thunder ||

[@jacks1bonnielass]

I’ve been wanting a Tropic Thunder sequel ever since the day I went to the theater and saw it! I was just telling my daughter a few days ago about how it’s legit one of the funniest and most clever movies ever made.

[@micknightmare3]

@@jacks1bonnielass100%, it's so funny

[@quintonwinslow9354]

They should’ve had Danny McBride be Bert.

[@goldentheponyboy2400]

Good, HONEST Review, dude! You should do these more often!!! Honesty is LACKING in movie reviews these days!!!!👍👍👍👍👍🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@comedyenforcement]

Thanks! Will do!

[@ramonbriones4487]

He's being generous lol this thing is definitely a fat flop.

[@BrandonOfJapan]

He's funny in the same way that watching a over sized gerbil die of alcohol poisoning is funny.

[@brionklarer2852]

DUDE!! You should make a time lapse video or day in the life of when you make these! It came out this morning thats fuckin fast hahaha

[@Keepone11]

This would have been an amazing Netflix special movie

[@LasagnaReaper]

Joe seemed kinda disturbed by burts recount of his kissing scene

[@noodle4492]

This just made me love Tom Segura more. To be honest I didn't think that was possible.

[@DABA2024]

Tom is ready to sell you every piece of shitty merch in his warehouse, Bill O’Reilly style. True comedian!

[@n8meade]

​@@DABA2024 right! It's so damned annoying. And the stupid commercial reads. I've yet to see someone bumping around wearing any of it. Except at the actual show that very night. This is in the Tampa FL area.

[@vladzuban6977]

that old chestnut: "...and i think people will be surprised..."

[@daribluestar7752]

I enjoyed the film. I saw it opening night here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and the theater was about 60% full with couples, college students & obvious Bert fans. Bert did his thing, I'm happy for him, and I hope to see more in the future!

[@devenroberts808]

The way he said… to see if he has a shot in Hollywood like bro he’s one of the biggest comedians in the world it was his first movie lol I think he made it regardless how the movie does

[@rodm49]

This will make $$$ on the downloads

[@skyezaizen4842]

It's basically Beverly hills ninja.

[@BoredumbClips]

Great video brother

[@comedyenforcement]

Much appreciated

[@TheMetalwolf77777]

This man has the permanent drunk stutter

[@CoachMacdaddy]

The attraction for movies stopped 6 years ago, covid killed even more off, and I can't believe anyone who understands analytics recommended something for profit over passion

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Agreed

[@daveminion6209]

um, to be honest, i (know this is hard to believe) dont think most people know who the heck Bert is (even with the the marketing effort) Unless you follow stand up comedy, JRE, etc, nobody knows who the dude is.

[@GrapefruitMcgilicuddy]

The movie was amazing! I’m biased but seeing it in theaters was so worth it, dude just do it if you haven’t please 🙏

[@jordanjohnson7266]

Hi Bert

[@alfresh707]

Hi Berts Dad

[@k1ngkongkane184]

I honestly enjoyed the movie, I don't care for bert and only know him from other comedians. I'm a big fan of Tom. I saw the movie this weekend, and it was okay. I'm genuinely busted out in laughter a few times, a few giggles. I did enjoy it despite its issues.

[@tweaker3484]

Bert’s fans are the equivalent of real life Squidbillies

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Lol awesome

[@darvaldezZ]

Bert Kreischer movie flops. Who woulda thunk!?

[@diddlez2]

The movie was about as bad as you would imagine. It really wasn't even funny either. On top of the entire story obviously being made up, which is fine, but I don't like that he pretends like it wasn't.

[@ayehodgy5675]

i agree with you so much the movie could have been amazing with a real actor like jordan peele!

[@cotopaximusic]

His machine story was never funny and most likely fake to begin with, no way would i ever spend money to see this lol

[@michaelandrew8493]

I'm not a bert fan but this needs to succeed just for comedy. We need more movies with comedians

[@squirtXreynolds]

"We need the Pauly Shore movie to do well. For the art."

[@marcosgin777]

Bro fr people need to stop hating on things for no reason

[@michaelandrew8493]

@@marcosgin777 like if this movie does good more comedians can make movies and some are gonna be funny as shit so it's a win win man

[@DABA2024]

But what if we prefer comedians in their natural environment: on a podcast, complaining about being victims to pretty much everything and whining about ‘civilians’? There is a reason there is no Tom Segura or Theo Von movie 😂

[@LexLutha]

I’ve never heard The Machine story and never will. I honestly couldn’t care less about Bert. He’s terrible.

[@jingleballs9935]

I actually hope Bert does well..

[@kdubb4953]

Redbar does the best videos breaking down who Bert is

[@M3TaGh0sStT]

Redbar is watching.

[@mattberg6816]

I don’t care how funny it is. I have absolutely no desire to drag my ass to a theater to see anything anymore

[@CrackheadMagician911]

🤰

[@jsharps1000]

Imagine being offended because people didn't watch a movie you watched. Yet imagine attacking some girl online you have no personal connections to. I mean this is truly amzing.

[@harmonizinginjoy]

9:15 Bert doesn’t have to work hard, that’s his magic! He’s gonna be our Clint Eastwood and he’s just getting started baby!!!

[@seannews]

Bert Kreischer appeals to the lowest common denominator of fan

[@beagler4234]

I saw it opening weekend, Sunday matinee. One other person in the theatre. 2 people in the theatre total and neither of us could find a friend to bring along. I found myself playing on my phone about half of the movie. Wasn’t terrible but about exactly what you’d expect from The Machine movie.

[@LongLiveRockAnRoll]

Sometimes I just want to have a relaxing night in when I stream a dumb fun comedy movie that doesn't need me to think too much. This sounds about right for that but not to go out of my way to see in the cinema.