Bertcast # 496 - Fortune Feimster, LeeAnn Kreischer & ME

[@laurenclark1304]

Fortune has the power to make me feel SO undeniably calm and peaceful just listening to her talk. I have no idea what it is! She is so great!

[@JessicaR17]

Too bad Bart wont shut the heck up so she can talk longer than 20 seconds at a time 😆

[@CG-lz7qj]

Same! She’s awesome. I could watch her and LeeAnn for days and never be tired of it. Haha

[@emilyboehm6133]

Uh okay you can grab hug jgu

[@stephaniespencer9129]

How bert and Leeann met, fell in love and are still together literally amazes me. They are soooo f*cking different but seem like they're completely in love. F*ckin goals man lol

[@mccarraa]

All because of LeeAnn. She kept everything together

[@barryquintrill7539]

Stares at Bert's sweatshirt cord the whole time. Just want to even the length out.

[@batt1793]

I legit cannot stop looking at it and it's driving me nuts

[@angiearellano3737]

🤣🤣🤣 saaaaaaame

[@Jakeisme44]

I wish I wouldn't have seen this. Now I can't not see it.

[@KCNicole]

Thank you! Ughhh

[@garrettlrider]

Lmao I came to the comments for this my OCD is driving me nuts watching his hood string

[@Kat-yz3hc]

Fortune is so right about southern mom’s calling to tell you all the morbid things going on 😂 LeeAnn looks glowing🥰

[@kristigrant4147]

LeeAnn's "I don't enjoy that humor... I don't watch your stuff" had me do a spit take :) DYING! Fortune you're a dream - love seeing you as much as possible!

[@andrestein6022]

I felt like LeAnne was personally torturing me, with a hot poker, in the opening

[@jakeberg6758]

LeeAnn is such a BADASS!!!! Bert is one of my absolute heroes. That being said, it’s awesome the way she can put him in place. So fun😆😂🤣

[@stevensalters5815]

I would love to watch a movie with fortune and Bert.

[@jamesmoreland3944]

Always excited when Bert shows up with his muzzle. God bless that lady for putting up with him.

[@breadeweateh9562]

shuddap

[@lordfordification]

Pffffffffffff, she's sweet but they deserve each other

[@father3dollarbill]

You mean Barp

[@PureBassO]

His name is Brent

[@carynmartin6053]

She looks like she's running out of patience and understanding these days

[@timothycormier3494]

I love this family style podcast! Probably because i also am married to my kids mother and our mom is also my best friend. But mom should be included into the conversation....or else!!!!😂😂😂😁😁😁

[@toastedjoe1013]

LeAnne says your going to make Bert cry then laughs hysterically. 1:38:30

[@Scagtatious]

I love Bert and LeAnne. I listen to as many of the podcasts between the two of them as I can. I would be remiss if I also didn’t mention my love for Fortune. I’ve been of fan for so long and this entire episode just makes my heart smile. (Except the toenail part 😂)

[@Ottophil]

Saw fortune live right before covid came. She was awesome. I can’t wait to see that special

[@lordfordification]

I think it's been out on Netflix for two years. Unless there is a new special.

[@AgendaInMind]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people because an upsetting event occurs in their lives taking them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@Betty-Boop809]

Fortune is such a delight.

[@dabzstatic0420]

Does anyone else notice Bert's hoodie tie not being even.. it's driving me crazy! 🤣🤣

[@robinedwards8796]

I love Fortune! My kiddo and I watched her specials and I watched her on Chelsea Handlers shows. She's so funny! ☺

[@laurinlatour4246]

Yes Bert, you are a great Dad. The fact that that comment gets to you proves it. It'll be ok. Teenaged girls are crazy. They'll come around. Just breathe.

[@lalah9481]

My brother in law got booted out of Fl State too, lost his Mensa & wrestling scholarships and moms $$ too-all because he was caught smoking a joint on campus. Awful. Zero tolerance . It was their loss Bertie boy !

[@hypnosis4207]

I live in a town of 1500 people.... People do have money around here.... Huge ranches and a few vineyards. I think they look down on us not the other way

[@alisonhufnagle7398]

I legit just started watching and I just love LeeAnn so much! Her laugh is the best.

[@mouthbigred04]

I love when Leeann and Bert are on a podcast together.

[@absybruh6481]

Lmao @ bruce acting sick from the toenails when we all know he probably opened and smelled the jar.. a few times

[@Skippyy_plays]

We for sure are gonna need the directors cut of the movie Bert and also I’d sit and watch any length of time of you doing comedy or just more 2 hour podcast type things love all the content and can’t wait till the movies out

[@ish474]

I love comedy but I only have a few ride or die comedians, Brent and Fortune are absolutely on that list.

[@TheRealPigula]

I love how it literally starts with LeeAnn being Tom and Bert being Christina LeeAnn trying to gross Bert out to vomit.

[@masonmorrow9300]

What the fuck

[@TheRealPigula]

@@masonmorrow9300 To the rhino horns or me lol 😆

[@andrestein6022]

The dynamics switching between the four of them is really interesting to watch when you know what you're looking at lol

[@matthewambrose4956]

Salad with a serving fork 😂😂😂 that’s classy Bert

[@dangushue5338]

Fortune is great

[@shaunmai111]

If you’ve listened to Bert enough you can understand why he got emotional at that daughters conversation part. I’ve heard him say numerous times throughout the years he feels like he needs to keep working harder to provide for his daughters. That’s why he always toured so much.

[@carynmartin6053]

They've turned into spoiled brats, it sounds like

[@shaunmai111]

@@carynmartin6053 lol Nah just typical teenagers. Sounds like Bert was used to his “little girls” being excited their daddy is home. It’s like fortune and Leeann said, teenagers are moody jerks. Lol Hate to say it but especially girl teenagers, for the most part.

[@mwaddle]

Fortune is a shining star of wisdom. 🎉

[@michaeledward2518]

showering after gym class was the most traumatizing thing ever as a youth .......... love from hamilton ontario canada

[@WendyLunn]

My boyfriend got me tickets to your show for Christmas at The Criterion in Okc. I’m so excited! Second row. Uh-hundred percent!!!

[@lordfordification]

Is your boyfriend a Florida man too?

[@michellebouma2878]

Omg I just had the best idea! Fortune & Melissa McCarthy star in step brothers 2 "sister inlaws" 🤣🤣🤣

[@seanburns854]

“Weens I’ve Seen” i fucking love Fortune Feimster!!

[@JAHughes1988]

Love to see Burt’s face when he realized her tour was as big as his.

[@Astral_Kay]

Fortune & Melissa McCarthy movie is my dream!! Love em both! Fortune’s my fav comedian, love her story telling! ❤

[@tarawhite986]

Lee Ann is hilarious.. I love hearing her crack up about the toenails lol

[@ThinkOnerandProdigy]

I didn't learn to use chopsticks until I was an adult so it's always a joy to teach someone how. Chopsticks are probably the perfect utensil for salad now that I think of it.

[@clintsears6369]

I could've sworn that this exact episode was uploaded like a few months ago. With Bert and fortune

[@Belznis]

Free toenail with every ticket. :D

[@LoddyDah]

Hahaha Bert absolutely cannot ask someone a question and wait silently for an answer. .

[@rayb6355]

Bart can’t stand people using utensils wrong but has no problem with a hoodie cord being uneven.

[@chasesnoochieboochies408]

The early bert gets the worm

[@angiearellano3737]

I love jo and Chelsea together ❤

[@christyblu79]

I grew up in the panhandle of FL. I babysat at 11 years old from 9-5 for 3 kids, 5, 3 & 9 months. The mom came home from work and got mad at me for not cleaning the kitchen. $5 an hour for the whole summer. I think about it now and think it's wild!! I hung in there though!

[@gessikas5839]

I love LeAnn!

[@carleebalfe3584]

I think I am in love with Berts Wife. I love her accent. This was the best group of people.

[@SailorGreenTea]

58:31, aw❤️

[@clintsears6369]

Bert's hoodie strings are bugging the living shit out of me!!!! Even out those strings for God's sake lol

[@Daniel_B79]

I'm so sick of hearing people say men are intimidated by strong women. FYI we're not! We like and love for a multitude of reasons and "strength" doesn't usually play a factor.

[@andrestein6022]

Yeah girls coming up and hitting on me first is the hottest power move ever

[@KCNicole]

@@andrestein6022 when I met my husband I walked up to him and said "Come on, we're getting drunk together!" He liked that I guess, he's still here 17 years later 🤣

[@TheBmarks5]

Elk & Elk? Those guys have EPIC comb-overs.

[@MrRandom616]

Just a heads up it's totally normal to eat sushi rolls with your hands, in Japan at least. That's why they are wrapped in seaweed.

[@joshlangston4605]

When I see Fortune I totally think south Carolina lol

[@strangeadv4977]

Anyone else keep hoping that one of our "terrible KZbin comments" get acknowledged?!?!?! We love you Bert/Fam and amazing guests like Fortune...Can't wait for 2022!!!

[@kendras9074]

Love the Sweatshirt Bert! OH

[@mr.resistance4015]

She is a ray of sunshine Too funny

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:43:23, I think the teen is in denial she still needs a parent. Wish you the best

[@stephaniespencer9129]

Also don't do secret Santa with Leeann she'll give you toenails for Xmas smh 🤦😆 😂

[@sirhcp27]

Fortune's closer was fantastic!!! Go home next week Bert!

[@SailorGreenTea]

57:41, nice!

[@editmel]

Ok, good vibes all around. But can we talk about how nice LeeAnne looks in this pod? New house done, trainer what? Krushing it!!

[@vp-oe1em]

Bert's on the road more

[@AdamRoss1]

What do you mean? She looks like an old lady.

[@editmel]

@@AdamRoss1 tell me your 15 without telling me your 15 LOL

[@AdamRoss1]

@@editmel oOoOO, nice try. Almost as nice as your attempted pandering.

[@editmel]

@@AdamRoss1 lol pandering? Um... women regularly hype other women up when they think they are doing well... sometimes we use sarcasm to deflect. Like, why so serious lol

[@janierutherford6746]

It’s not just teenage girls….my teenage boys are doing the very same thing. It is breaking me!

[@yellie9020]

I freakin love Fortune!!! So excited LeeAnn is here too : )

[@tcirello426]

LeeAnn pronouncing shit like "sheeit" at 2:02:33 is like ASMR to me lol

[@johnledeman1735]

I'll be at your show in Seattle in Jan. I'll buy ya $100 shot for the toenails 🙃😆

[@montyperkins3369]

My two favorite ladies Bert

[@LegionOfShrooms]

That opening was awesome

[@xxCD7xx]

Crying laughing throughout all of this

[@godwinbssdd]

And her mouths rested lmfao

[@hazeleyeshypnotize01]

You should gift the toe nails to Ari!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@santadog9]

Best intro ever!

[@barrettpickett5603]

So want to pull this string on the sweet shirt. I know they take care of the family but you kinda wanted to here some stories. On the analogy on the path I always religiously think of the thought I took the path less traveled. I bought a Thomas kinkade painting with a lighted path and gave to mom. She never hanged it on her side. I hanged it after she left and took it with me after leaving. So many people are on a path and I would be like you shouldn't do this. You have to go I am supposed to be here even when you look around and begin to doubt. On the conversation on gay when you say baptist they would say I am praying for you and reeducation. And when they talk about small towns it is different from the big city.

[@davincivangogh9807]

All right Bert, here's the deal. I think you and LeeAnn should co-write a movie in which LeeAnn plays the part of Fortunes supportive old sister... I have a complete plot but won't be posting it here!

[@danielpacheco612]

Btw Love you Fortune . Shouts out from MN

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:12:34, interesting concept.

[@KCNicole]

Fortune is one of the very few legit funny female comics. I said what I said.

[@garrettjohnsen]

I agree. I haven’t seen a ton of her stuff but she always feels naturally funny and genuine. She seems like a great person.

[@emmap.7314]

I’m that person that holds silverware dumb, lol. I have hand tremors from stupid Lyme disease and holding my silverware dumb like that is the only way I can stabilize the utensils whilst eating.

[@MommaLousKitchen]

Yes, teenagers are definitely psychotic 😆 your handling it better than I will later with mine....👀💩

[@kojayeoja]

Then don't have kids. :)

[@nategardner1691]

Great podcast.

[@butter_muncher7159]

You should play Will Ferrell's little sister in a movie.

[@xIH8BOTSx]

419 Ohio Gang Gang ... LOVE YOU BERT!

[@andrestein6022]

Here in toledo, we need Bert to keep us from realizing how bleak this shit hole really is lol

[@lakota_stu]

Your wife is hilarious 😂

[@sibusisokofi3497]

The way she is teasing him I love this Leeanne

[@lordfordification]

She brought up Jay Mohr, spicy podcast

[@Rattys]

I love that Tom tries to make Christina puke all the time, but its Leeann that tries to get Bert to puke over toenails.

[@shannon8332]

I support the two hour Bert special

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:52:30, that would be funny if Fortune said, Adriana Chechik.

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:16:22, what hangs?

[@meatmissle1459]

That hoodie string tho

[@jenburns8177]

Dang LeeAnn is looking so young and hot as hell what's new tell us the secret

[@AdamRoss1]

The secret is you're lying to yourself, or pandering. She looks like her age. Old.

[@horrorshowrs5482]

@@AdamRoss1 all your comments are very nasty…hope you find happinesses in life spreading hate on YT is not cool dude

[@AdamRoss1]

@@horrorshowrs5482 Hope you find punctuation.

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:52:57, what is that?

[@Kzds4909]

Leeann is gorgeous. Bert jokes alot but off camera he knows how lucky he is.

[@crazykiddodk]

Loooooooooove this one, Fortune is as alway amazing, but Bret Krisna you should bring LeeAnn more often to Bertcast, great balance and I love alllllle Yaaaaaa

[@Betty-Boop809]

Rock Hudson never came out. It wasn’t until after his death that it was widely known.

[@lisacaracciola5930]

Hey Bert, Want to know how I know you love Ron Bennington? ;)

[@conrad463]

Grapes?

[@taylorvukich458]

Hell ya Bert O-H!!!

[@kathrynmackenzie23]

Chopsticks for salads everytime

[@debrannjohnston2796]

I never ever read comments... unless I do.

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:35:26, like the dad from the others?

[@SailorGreenTea]

1:59:30, that's what she said.

[@Tobiloby]

Youre not supposed to soak the bottom rice of sushi in the soy, you soak the fish (it takes a little getting used to flipping it without dropping, the best is to flip it on the side and then pick it up like normally. The soy is meant to go on the fish and only a little bit) :c

[@SailorGreenTea]

53:11, 😆