Best Argument Responses: Top 3 Ways to Stay Calm and Assertive

[@kwcdude]

I think not showing the mic is better. Without it, it felt like you are having an ACTUAL conversation with me. Thanks n much love for your content Jefferson ❤

[@jeffersonfisher]

great feedback!

[@Sage_puppets]

​@@jeffersonfisher Ditto! One of your strengths is that when you present your content, you 'connect' with your viewers! 🥰 FYI: There are scientific studies that reveal that online interaction only releases dopamine, not oxytocin (bonding/connecting hormone), so I think the more genuine you present yourself, the more meaningful...just my two cents with inflation, lol! No one can fake genuineness, regardless of mic, or not. You are the real deal! Thanks again for all you do!

[@kelleyreimer2231]

@@Sage_puppets well said

[@orielwiggins2225]

I don't care about what you do with mic or setting as I'm here for the content and it's stellar as usual. I agree finding ways to deescalate our keep someone from feeling defensive is very important. I've learned that you've got a lot of wisdom in this area and are eager to share it. And the way you presented your expertise here is super helpful and very practical and understandable. Thank you so much Jefferson!

[@ITJoe17]

1. You tell them "what" you agree with. This does not mean that you agree with everything. 2. You tell them what you've learned. 3. You tell them what's been helpful. They help to de-escalate or dampen the fire of an argument. Thank you, Jefferson, for these nuggets of wisdom when dealing with difficult conversations. 🙂 Great content! The audio is excellent with a microphone although I hear you well without it!

[@Palatinata]

🌺Thanks so much🌺

[@Joybells2798]

Thank you I just needed the 3 nuggets and your summary helped.

[@robertdesantis6205]

The take-away for me was-- RESPECT, plain & simple. 🌷

[@ibelieve722]

The mic doesn't make a difference to me...I'm here for the content.

[@karenhelm5800]

I agree that perhaps the microphone appears big due to camera angle. Per usual, good words of wisdom

[@charscarlet74]

The microphone is immaterial; it's the content that stands out. God bless and thank you for this precious snd priceless advice 🙏🏻🇮🇪💖

[@dlgoodwin1542]

@@charscarlet74 I agree, his content is always spot on but the microphone is so large it is distracting. I’m a visual person I guess. 😄

[@charscarlet74]

@@dlgoodwin1542 I think it's easy to see past it when I'm so concentrated on the content to be honest. But everyone is different. I hope it doesn't detract from your enjoyment of the inspiring content that this gentleman gives so generously 🙏🏻💖

[@rodguttorm]

You know, I'm more than 70 years old now, and I've never heard such a clear, easy-to-understand articulation of these ideas. Thank you!

[@Wraithpaz]

"I agree..., I have learned..., That's helpful for me to know..." Jefferson, I love the way you boil your ideas down to a triad. It's easier to remember and start using. Since I don't have the need to confront very often, it's easy to get blindsided and that's when your phrases pop into my head. And the all-important, "Let your first word be a breath." Love your stuff!

[@pattitimmons6267]

The fact is evident that you are continuing to try and better what ever you choose to do, then you ask for our opinions and take them to heart. That is something to learn from. It is so nice to find someone that is authentic, kind and giving in todays world. Thanks Jefferson!

[@dots4261]

I consistently learn from your content. Never found the mic to be a problem. I agree with another commenter: this mic is distracting and sound quality was better before.

[@jennyb.776]

I like the videos in your car, they make me feel like I'm having a casual and helpful conversation with a good friend. The big mic you used today takes away the "casual" vibe, it makes the video feel like it was planned, rehearsed. This is my opinion...I still love the content, and your calming voice. Thank you.

[@sylviarogerson7662]

The mic is distracting. Your content is wonderful!

[@purplebuttafly8]

Where have your teachings been all of my adult life?! THANK YOU, IMMENSELY!! 🎉

[@kristykeers7491]

I don't care if you use a microphone or don't use a microphone. I love hearing your advice.It's very good.Never had a problem understanding. You're awesome!

[@jeffersonfisher]

Hey thanks, Kristy.

[@SophieMarouna]

I agree, what he's sharing to us as listeners are like liquid gold,beneficial to our daily human lives as we face the hum and drums of this world, and to be equipt against adversaries. Brillant mind,wisdom and educator, i benefit from his advice international follower. KIA ORANA SOPH.

[@erinbelzile531]

Never had a problem with the sound before. I like when it’s just you in your car having a conversation; it feels real and spontaneous. The mike takes that feeling away. I vote to ditch the mike but I get why you feel that way. 😉

[@stories2life]

I’ve followed you from the beginning on Instagram. The microphone makes you sound far away, not the intimate (not sexual) close “friend” tone you’ve always had. You always have amazing lessons. 👏👏

[@Gumby1960]

Jefferson, your content is the BEST! You are such an inspiration!

[@HollyDykes-hh7cl]

Microphone or not, I value your videos ❤😊

[@KarenMcMath]

Love your content! I need to learn this so much. Not a fan of the microphone. Distracting.

[@psm1423]

OMGOSH, please do more! I have such a difficult relationship with some family and I agree; I have contributed to the family disfunction, only due to the lack of communication skills. You are so helpful! I am learning! 😊

[@e-criticslh8061]

I like the original Jefferson.. no ad nothing straight to the topic then the famous finishing line .. " follow me for more ..etc" So simple so easy to follow and also the clip air time is very short and sharp..no pressure into anything.. Nowadays need to sit and wait for a while before the resl topic kicks in.

[@kathywilliams275]

I appreciate your courtesy and humanity. I wish I had found this kind of advice earlier in my life. I can imagine how different some of the outcomes would have been. It's kind of you to share your experience and knowledge. You are very young to be this wise.

[@smackroscoe]

I love “lawyer speak”. It’s a LOT like politician speak - saying something without saying anything. Brilliant really! 😉

[@joysachs9032]

😂😂

[@melbamartin295]

I ove it too. It can help avoid sive aggressive communication😊

[@JoseGomezTur27]

I just heard you for the first time with several podcasts. All I want to do is thank you for your podcasts. You had a calming effect on me by just listening to you. I have subscribed to your podcasts.

[@patriciarees3776]

Your helpful advice about how to better communicate should be taught in every school in every language. There would most certainly be more peace in our world. Thank you, Jefferson.

[@Anna-z5j4o]

I agree that the mic is distracting, and the old mic sounds "friendlier." Love the video!

[@suemiller1342]

I like you in any format with any mic.

[@deboraharias3578]

This is my favorite segment, I used this with my adult son, and it was a game changer !! These tools defused the situation, helped him to feel heard and appreciated. And we ended the conversation on a pleasant note. Thank you. I look forward to reading your book!

[@katiesmiles6138]

I like the old style more✌️

[@charlottestewart5802]

Although I really don't see myself in a court of law again, these tips are good for functioning smoothely in life.

[@DeeClements]

I enjoy this so much. Mic is fine. Run for President next time!

[@shubbuamin2000]

Jefferson your content is so damn good that I am not even paying attention to the mic, sound quality etc. I loved the OG videos shot on your phone cuz those felt like a direct one-on-one conversation. Whether you stick to that or use this new microphone, I'll still be here! So I guess go with what feels better for you.

[@Adrian_Nel]

Just the man's demeanour and tone make him worth listening to.

[@racerxtreme]

Since you asked for feedback on the microphone addition I have to agree even though the sound is pretty good, the mic is a bit distracting. There are other awesome options like lavaliere mics. I like the fact that you do this in your car even when moving the camera it makes it seem more real. Amazing work! ✌️

[@getitdone913]

This channel has been the best channel I’ve seen. Not only is your content extremely insightful and helpful, but it is delivered in a way that doesn’t feel like something too hard to apply. Thank you!

[@boncoon]

You are a great help to me and the rest of us. Thank you! God bless you and yours, Bonnie

[@Riemember]

I APPRECIATE you, and am grateful to watch you with whatever microphone you are comfortable with! 😊 Thank you for your wisdom! 👍🏻🥰👍🏻

[@carollopez3991]

I love that, in this type of video, (longer than the shorts), you can model the relaxed pace needed in good communication. This content is great. I recommend that people watch some of your even longer videos where you are being interviewed, and slow down even more. We all need more slow in our lives.

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@carollopez3991 yes! Those are amazing. I love a good interview with someone who knows their stuff and has so much to offer. Especially the bits that aren't in the content, like personal stories etc. The interviews with Jefferson are among some of the better ones I've heard

[@bonniereisin4438]

I’m the one that gets defensive, especially with spouse.

[@annaalm18]

Awesome advice thanks so much ❤

[@debbiecloer]

The microphone is an option if it helps you Jefferson than I will accept it and it makes no difference in the contents you are still amazing and I appreciate your sharing this knowledge with me. It has helped me in so many areas in my life. Thank you Jefferson🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️

[@DianeO-369]

Great content! I think tone of voice, inflection matters ... sometimes we don't regulate properly. We can say the right thing,, but it's how we say it that matters. Don't come from a place of superiority ... genuinely caring for one another in a team or relationship should come across in tone. Jefferson, you have said before, breathe ... and yes, that's huge. ❤ Again thank you for helping us all become better communicators! 😊❤ Well done!!❤😊

[@dawncole913]

Jefferson, your tips and techniques are super effective. I would love to see them combined into a high school or college course about effective communication. Thank you for creating this channel!!

[@janeedgar-peterlin3968]

Thanks Jefferson - these are all excellent guidelines for managing people. I realised I already do the first one at work on a daily basis - making sure people feel heard. Wouldn’t it be a different world if kids learnt these skills in school?!

[@Stacy-s1s]

Topic, please: pushy, overbearing people & when they won't take "No" for an answer. As I calmly (sounding) continue saying no, one person continues to oush, debate, look for ways to get me to say yes. This person is extremely competitive so her getting her way is ultra important to hrr. I care about het but I can't always say yes. Its incredibly stressful & even shows physically

[@miriamadahan1730]

Just started following you a few weeks ago and you've changed my life. Great, practical tools! You are so sweet and genuine! Too bad you cannot clone yourself!

[@cindyd003]

I've see several people switch up mike styles. Is it about sound or presentation? Microphones don't add knowledge. Even Oprah switch up the mikes several times when she and Gayle collaborated on a talk show. Result was mikes are a distraction often times and is best used as the tool it was intended for. You are so relatable, non threatening sitting in the car, natural. That's what makes people lean in. Keep up the great work-! We need you!

[@AmbrosiaK]

I like it when your phone is a bit further (not that your hard on the eyes 😉) and stable, otherwise it's too much like a boat. There was one video I had to look away because there was so much rocking. The mic is kind of a formal thing and the car informal, and since a vehicle is your signature, I'd put it lower or ditch it. :) Love you videos!

[@rosalie2571]

AmbrosiaK. Great description of the 🎤 & the car 🚙!!! Love his videos too !!😊

[@CubanFrapAddict]

Ii liked it better when we can’t see the microphone, it makes you less personable. The microphone sound of your previous microphone makes you sound more like a common person (someone you can relate to), the new mic makes you sound like a radio personality

[@deehart1565]

Jefferson, don't fret about your microphone. We come for the content, which is always spot on! Thx for everything you share.

[@mjpowell3713]

Seeing the mic is distracting. The sound is great, but the mic moving distracts me from concentrating on your facial expressions which are a key indicator of the strength of your message. Your content is so helpful for me in my journey of being a better communicator. Love your content.

[@JamesWeigl-y7w]

The very first thing I do when someone is talking to me is make sure that I quietly internally accept how it’s making me feel before I analyze and respond to what they say. Best defense against emotional manipulation

[@LaurieAyers]

Content is supreme. I agree with others on mic comments. Bigger distraction was camera movement and shakes. Agree, learned, helpful; good stuff. Thank you.

[@lizettebuckle3431]

I appreciate your integrity by not using these steps to manipulate but to be authentic. Thank you. Every podcast is very helpful. That’s why I follow you🌺

[@LourdesDoctor]

In conclusion you and your voice is sufficient no other paraphernalia’s in sight , you are a great lawyer and hav awesome personality thanks Mr Jefferson

[@melissalosh1019]

I recognize you are a stellar presenter and have learned you care about your subscribers experience. It is helpful when we can focus more on the content of your message which includes body language and expressions not inhibited by a microphone or any other device. Sincerely a faithful student. 😊

[@janshearer1050]

Iam learning sooo much… now to implement

[@rosycurtin8437]

I love your integrity

[@dorrainescofield6599]

The mic sounds fine but more importantly, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom and knowledge. I especially think that the point you made regarding intent v. manipulation is sooooooo important and true! Keep up the great work!

[@kriscardell]

Your content is Golden

[@PCkitty26]

Great information here. I was recently in a jury selection process for high profile case here in Colorado. While I didn’t make the jury. I did have to sit through two days of listening to the attorneys question the potential jurors. One thing I noticed with a defense attorney is how she always acknowledged people when they shared information. She would say thank you I appreciate that. I know it was hard to share. Or something of that nature. It was a very intense proceeding and I learned a lot, but I understand the attorneys were really trying to weed out people and some people were afraid to acknowledge their biases, but the defense attorney seemed to be able to put them at ease and they opened up more. I think a lot of that same process applies to what you’re saying here.

[@DF-ds4cx]

I love your way of teaching. I’m a very quiet person ironically in a sales position that normally does alright except when situations get heated. Your lessons are helping me.

[@susansmith9694]

Jefferson, thanks for all your great content. The mic sounds fine and I don't care whether you use it or not. It isn't an issue as far as I'm concerned. Best wishes.

[@jjj4009]

Please PLEASE please help with “how to avoid discussing politics with family when you know you disagree FERVENTLY”…

[@angelaandazola6328]

Yes, Jefferson that Mic is way too big! I think you sound on all your prior videos is just fine

[@lesleysanders6737]

You're a gentle honest speaker with so much to offer, can't wait to hear more!

[@jeanridgeway8120]

13:10 thank you for what you do Jefferson and the genuine passion you show while communicating with your listeners. I agree that not revealing the microphone during the recording will continue to make the conversations more impactful.

[@Anonymous-qr9ho]

Luv u Jefferson! I work in the legal sector @ an AM 100 law firm in NYC - appreciate your content!

[@Smoothtransitionschairyoga]

This is an area in my marriage I'm always trying to get better. Since u asked to leave comment about new microphone the sound is really no different to me. It's whatever you are comfortable with. Microphone or no microphone it is not a distraction to me. I'm just thankful you care so much about people and want to help be better communicators. I think since covid people have really forgotten or feel comfortable in some situations. Thank u Jefferson ❤

[@lynndiaz2325]

I need ALL of your advice! Thank you for sharing, counselor! 😊 you provide real life responses, especially in my world! Thank you a million times! God bless from Massachusetts

[@NancyBrown1975]

You have remarkable responses to difficult situations. Words are powerful. They shut down when they get defensive and nothing gets done. If they are not defensive they won’t put so many blocks in the way of our goal for peace in the conversation. With saying “I agree” their narcissism doesn’t get awakened and start firing all over the place. The narcissist will detect if you are sincere or not. They know. Thank you for your help!

[@treelandon]

Jefferson, your videos make me feel prepared. When I get into a conversation, maybe a heated conversation, I loose all train of thought. With your phrases (I hope to study more). It makes me feel prepared for whatever might come. Do you understand what I’m saying. I rarely argue however, when I do I get so nervous and I try to defend myself I forget how to keep myself calm and be respectful of others. I am a very sensitive person and was never taught how to stick up for myself. So thank you ! I appreciate you and your videos! 😊

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@treelandon I relate to this so much. We were taught NOT to stick up for ourselves. And that's continued in adulthood. Learning now, but it's tough when the conflict triggers and I lose my words. I just end up going away and wondering why didn't I say this or that. Or at least let them know I'm not gonna take their attacks. Anyway, may we learn how to stand up and stay in our integrity.

[@treelandon]

@@orielwiggins2225 omg yes! Very narcissistic alcoholic father and a lot off childhood trauma just left me so unprepared as a young women and getting into our older years to defend my thoughts and beliefs from a teacher, coach, manager , coworkers as so on …..

[@orielwiggins2225]

@@treelandon yup only learned about narcissism years after messy ongoing divorce and custody cases. Then uncovered that I was born to a cult leader and borderline /narcissistic spouse, and had gone back to another two very oppressive patriarchal churches for most of my adult life, so I'm very familiar with what you're talking about. Triggered is putting it lightly sometimes. But even just dealing with contractors who aren't doing their job feels like walking thru a minefield so finding language on the spot is really tough. I'm finding a lot of help from these episodes and his content, and then practicing online in the comments on other content when folks get a bit off, where the stakes are very low as it's not personal and I don't engage with the real trolls. Just folks who might need a bit of careful redirection.

[@nurshark10]

Your advice is very useful. It sounds so simple but when there is emotion involved, it’s very difficult to discuss topics objectively especially if one person has something at stake. I wish I could be as calm cool and collected as you in every conversation. Your voice puts me at ease and gives me a calm. Did you learn that in law school or does it come naturally to you? You must be a wonderful husband and father. I love your videos and am glad I ran across them. Keep up the great work!

[@lindaevans4753]

Yeah, I don't really like the mic, either.

[@wendyandfriends]

I'm SO glad and grateful that I found your channel, Jefferson! Your content is so valuable, and needed by so many of us who were never taught any of this. Thank you!! I wish (if I had the money and you had the desire to) that you taught small group classes with role-playing for each student using the topics/scenarios that trigger each person the most, and how to master these things more quickly. Thank you for helping us all to be better people, and to create kinder and more helpful responses to problems and issues with communication between people.

[@michellehenry-fx5pk]

You have brought such needed help to our world! Effective communication is key. Love everything about your content, and between you and Jordan Peterson the world will strengthen. Thank you Jefferson!!

[@r.1599]

I suspect this only works if you're dealing with a reasonable person. A few years ago I was dealing with an optical store where the glasses kept coming back with the incorrect prescription (the optician had done the measurements incorrectly). The store owner was yelling at me, bellowing that it was my fault I couldn't see out of the glasses. I sat quietly and when he would stop for breath, I'd say things like "That sounds reasonable to me." or "I agree with that." Every time I'd agree with him, he'd yell, *_"NO!"_* and go off on another rant. The staff couldn't hear a word I was saying as I was weak from an illness and couldn't speak loudly. They were glaring at me like I was arguing with the guy. Even when he remeasured and found that the measurements were wrong, he still yelled at me that it was my fault. Using the validate/agree technique doesn't work when the other person is not a reasonable person to start with.

[@mariademello-silva981]

C’mon, people! This is Jefferson Fisher!!!! With or without new microphone, his suggestions are spot on! It’s NOT a microphone that will distract from the great and helpful point he is making! Thank you for your expertise, attorney Jefferson Fisher!

[@VeronicaMonge-qx3dm]

Great video! I learned complimenting can help with these situations. I will try it next time 😊

[@LoveMexicoLife]

Hey Jefferson, I found your content about a month ago and I have been watching religiously. I sometimes watch the same shorts over and over again so that I can mentally save the information. The microphone however takes away from the authentic-looking self that you present when you're recording in your car. I found your voice to be clear and understandable with your small phone mic or whatever you were using for your other recordings. Thank you for all the help you provide.

[@kriscardell]

The mic is great and not distracting at all

[@meetupspeakup4161]

Strongly agree, those words, actually work with common sense indivduals. But dishonesty, envy, and jealousy is real

[@PatriciaGlaeser]

Thank you, I have a client that is behaving very passive aggressive, and I can see how I I agreed that we need to talk about this is such a great great way to go forward. Thank you again.

[@donniegillum1867]

Great content! As for me, the original (without the mic) was much better because your hands were free and therefore more naturally expressive when you speak. However, if you feel you need (or want) a mic, why not try a lapel mic. They work great and your gestures are left unhindered. Once again, great content and your videos and emails have helped me tremendously! Wishing you and yours a great day!

[@christinaduncan8285]

Recently I was attacked -- me, a loving person who never harms anyone! -- for "giving advice" when I thought I was helping someone through a tough time. I will memorize your words here because they are disarming and effective. The followup communication skills needed would be how to proceed once the initial attack is "silenced." The relationship must be repaired (I guess!) or else you are left scratching your heading thinking, "What happened?"

[@storytimewithnana5670]

You sounded just fine before, Jefferson!😊

[@tulsatom4307]

SHOW: I appreciate your Videos and learn from them. MICROPHONE: I am a retired professional audio engineer; that Model of mic is from the Studio Family of microphones (announcer, voice over, radio/TV) - and intended for boom attachment. ( You must have had both of your hands full with the mic in one and the camera stick in the other.) * It has seemed like your Signature/Theme is - BTW, l was thinking about this, and while I’m on break - just wanted to share this you. So using a Studio Mic, handheld, in a car, in the picture, with a phone camera - is a visual contradiction . . . like wearing a sports coat & tie with a jeans & sneakers. * If you want a Reporter look/sound, or want to minimize ambience - use a short shotgun mic. * If you want to promote intimacy - use the shotgun mic ‘OFF-Camera’, like is done in TV/Movies. * Best wishes - a faithful Subscriber.

[@marycullen5841]

You have such a nice face, the microphone distracts from that. Love your advice, thank you so much!

[@glendamaynard]

Love your content. The mic is out of place in the car.

[@melindag451]

You give such sound advice. I really appreciate your posts.

[@chrisc766]

Mic or no mic, I love it!!

[@majesticsunshine11]

I love your content!

[@melbamartin295]

These phrases are useful.

[@pamelavoss989]

This is my third video with you. Personally, I prefer your phone vs the mic. Didn’t notice a big difference to justify it. I agree with another response that it doesn’t fit the vibe of the car and feels more formal or something. Enjoy your content. Great tips to implement in convos.

[@hayswhite]

I learned a lot of these things when I was practicing law as well. No longer an attorney but gained so much wisdom dealing with people

[@user-du3ro5fs4h]

Jefferson, I’m praying for your wellbeing. You are making this world a better place with what you teach. I’m grateful 🙏

[@JanePilguy-h9i]

I think the microphone is too distracting and sound is different not necessarily better. Love your videos😊

[@pzgirl86]

Great advise! Seeing the huge mic in the car made it seem like you can’t afford the big desk it should sit on. No mic just sitting in your car talking, your making time to sit and talk to a friend before you start you day . 😉 I’ve never had any problems with your audio either , today or in the past .

[@germainebreault4020]

He has 2 offices.

[@pzgirl86]

I was joking , cool if he has two offices 😊

[@Jan-se5ic]

Great video. The sound is a little better, but I think I like watching you better when you don't have to hold a mic. Enjoy your videos and shorts so much!

[@olgaaskenaziabady2072]

You are an amazing human being… so soft and kind. Strenght in kindness and decency

[@PositiveForceOne]

You're amazing!!!!