Best HFY Reddit Stories: How a human fixed the galaxies greatest computer & Tribute | 2506

Best HFY Reddit Stories: How a human fixed the galaxies greatest computer & Tribute | 2506 | r/HFY

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Күн бұрын

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@richardbrowning7197 Ай бұрын

In that first story is it just me or does it sound like humans built the machine and died and evolved a second time. That would make sense considering the machines reaction.

@danijelandroid Ай бұрын

Yep, that's what I thought too.😊

@shaunwhitehead1485 Ай бұрын

@@danijelandroid or the reason for their extinction

@gerardchartier9016 26 күн бұрын

That was my takeaway too

@Norbrookc Ай бұрын

As a former computer tech, I can say that it's always amazing at how many times a quick whack has fixed the problem.

@davidbilich1708 28 күн бұрын

Somebody on my crews will call me over to trouble shoot something... I'll look at it, not find any problems at all... pit it back together… and now it works. Them: what did you do? Me: you were holding your tongue the wrong way.

@Fylasfrommabi Ай бұрын

the fact he recognized humanity is both intriguing and VERY VERY TROUBLESOME for everyone else XD

@Terran.Marine.2 Ай бұрын

Never underestimate the mighty pipe wrench.

@Gaster601 Ай бұрын

Percussive maintenance is the only thing that calms the angry machine gods.

@PromptCriticalJello Ай бұрын

@@Gaster601 It is not just the wrench. The proper litany must accompany it. And occasionally blood.

@dsloop3907 Ай бұрын

@@PromptCriticalJello Yes, never repeat the same magic words twice in one sentence.

@Gaster601 Ай бұрын

@@PromptCriticalJello Blood is only needed for printers, sometimes you even need to sacrifice a lamb or the soul of your firstborn. But yes, off course one needs to cite the holy verses of maintenance, else the bad machine ghosts can't be vanquished. A splash of holy oils to be sure and the spirits of the machinarium should be pleased.

@PromptCriticalJello Ай бұрын

@@Gaster601 I beg to differ. I've had more than a few bloody knuckles, choice words and righteous thumps to get non-printers working.

@sysbofh Ай бұрын

Good old percussive maintenance. Never fails.

@wardraven8755 Ай бұрын

If it does then it’s un fixable

@commiedeer Ай бұрын

Okay that second story makes me laugh. Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that while the Space Dwarves are clearly picking your monarch for you.

@anormalpotato2887 Ай бұрын

His ignorance of behind the scenes power is off the roofs.

@TrueFork Ай бұрын

how to conquer a universe on the cheap and without dirtying your hands

@kyriss12 22 күн бұрын

Reminds me of that other HFY where the xeno was sitting next to a human in the cafeteria bragging about their sport team beating the human sport team and how learning all those wonderful games were totally worth conquering earth alone. The human then proceeds to systematically point out the xenos warrior culture was completely lacking in substance till earth came along and all their food fashion and media is derived from humans. So in the end who really conquered who.

@tylercosner4509 Ай бұрын

“If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid”

@larrythompson8630 Ай бұрын

I recall Skylab the solar array would not deploy. After many attempts they were told to get biggest wrench they could and hit the motor. The solar array deployed, power to work for decades

@xessq1 Ай бұрын

story #2 when the tail wags the dog

@robertstoneking7916 Ай бұрын

When the warrior caste doesn't know who is really in power.

@MrDj232 Ай бұрын

Humans are the forerunners.

@reddeathstar2428 Ай бұрын

Guilty spark: YOU ARE FORERUNNER!

@kyriss12 22 күн бұрын

And I don’t what 343 says other words because they can’t even keep a coherent story arc running between games.

@danijelandroid Ай бұрын

3 mins in, the humans either kick/hit something to get it started or found the off-on/reset button.😊

@wngimageanddesign9546 Ай бұрын

I now am theorizing that human emotional outbursts are an example of quantum entanglement to the molecular matrix of non-organic and organic mechanisms. And that psychic energy and message is managing to become a catalyst to trigger a fundamental reaction. We somehow connect and initiate the effect through our will power.

@ufoe20011 Ай бұрын

Translation " we reject your reality and substitute our own "

@kingmasterlord 16 күн бұрын

your will is the focusing lense, your passion is the light.

@Ibian666 Ай бұрын

The tip of the spear. But the tip is nothing without the shaft.

@jeremymcadams7743 Ай бұрын

*bites tongue until it bleeds* well said

@Ryu_D Ай бұрын

Thank you for the video. There are so many ways to interpret the last part of the first story. "Are you human?" Surprise, joy, sheer unbridled terror. I'd love to see a prequel story explaining the machine's construction. As for the second story, yeah you keep telling yourselves that. Pay no mind to the fact that humans raise your rulers from birth, teaching them however humans see fit.

@barelyasurvivor1257 Ай бұрын

Hmm good thing no one has ever looked closely at who runs things. Or well it shows that it doesn't matter, Humans make or break kings Logistics rules over all.

@Exile_Sky Ай бұрын

I can't count the number of times percussive maintenance has helped me out.

@RealArcalian Ай бұрын

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: So....did we build it, or what? Story 2: Yes, by all means, conquer! ....where we tell you to.

@MsDogleaf 28 күн бұрын

ohh yes but they serive us and we do everything to protect and make sure they are happy

@kurtismiller9544 Ай бұрын

For DA SKWERL and his Nest

@Shadow.Dragon Ай бұрын

Great stories; Excellent narration! 1st story - did humans construct the world computer or did the world computer compute that a human would wake it up? Either way, the story reminded me of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". 2nd story - whose the master and whose the servant LOL!!!

@TheLastRhapsody Ай бұрын

Of course that would have done it. Machine beyond anyone’s understanding that will not work no matter what you do until you smack it? Must be human. As for the second story, who wants to put money on the alien conquerers looking very much like cats?

@artyd42 Ай бұрын

Story 1: Old fixes often best fixes. The term is actually from steam locomotives and because of how metal parts act under heat. It would lock in place and nothing could be done except either hit it in specific spots or disassemble the entire machine only to find out there is no mechanical part that is out of place or damaged. The insanity is that every time it stopped it would jam until it completely cooled down. So to keep it in service the angry engineer way back in the day figured out what parts were causing the issue and smashed the area they were in. And it worked... Thus "percussive maintenance" was born. It's been applied to many fields of work. From engines as small as the one in your leaf blower to as large as a nuclear power plant and even as expensive as a submarine. Goes as far back as 1698 though there may be earlier recorded events where smashing a thing made it do what it was intended to. Story 2: Couldn't be catlike as we wouldn't allow them to throw themselves into harms way if they were. In addition they wouldn't understand the question of why. Nor would they have king and queen status. Carnivore? Yes. Patriarchal? No. But all they asked for was food and weapons to protect their vassals? That's practically a free army for the amount they are asking for? Picture it in terms of how it was settled without a single bullet fired. It couldn't have been better than "cheap" at best. Over 1 billion soldiers... but at a cost that couldn't have been more than 1 million human soldiers. Maybe even less than current military spending of the United States. That is a bargain beyond words. Let us protect you and help us protect you or else we're going to attack you! All the "Why?" statements were humans trying to wrap their brains around a protectorate race and not understanding how it was so inexpensive. They guard without hesitation and regardless of cost... they are obviously dog like.

@TheLastRhapsody Ай бұрын

@@artyd42 Perhaps some mix of canine and feline. The reason I went with cats even though one of their planets had "canis" in the name was I didn't think a doggo could command the sheer arrogance the race displayed.

@MrDj232 Ай бұрын

@@TheLastRhapsody "They are lucky to have us as their masters" is 100% how cats think while they're lazing around and eating food between hobby hunts.

@merlinathrawes746 Ай бұрын

@@artyd42 More likely canine than feline.

@MichaelParker-mi6ie Ай бұрын

Percussive maintenance, mechanical agitation, aggravated repair kinetics; call it what you want, it works

@citizen_grub4171 Ай бұрын

Better to be the kingmaker than the king.

@merlinathrawes746 Ай бұрын

Percussive maintenance for the win. But it knows of Humans? Hmmm... that could prove interesting. Talk about not being able to read a situation. These folk don't understand who is actually in charge.

@gmradio2436 Ай бұрын

My Lord, it is obvious that you are the master here. Now put on the suit, go to the humanity education event, and toast the High Queen. No my Lord, I am not ordering you, that is not my place, but I am reminding you, for your own good.

@Therealwanderingyooper Ай бұрын

Percussive maintenance is a necessity, hardly an invention!

@earmunchermuncher7639 20 күн бұрын

My favorite example of this is we got a microwave that occasionally stops actually making heat. You can tell because it gets quiet and never gets loud again. Anyways, just to piss my sister off ill punch the side of it and it will start up lol

@gobihoukou1 24 күн бұрын

So yeah, that first story went exactly like I thought it will. Except that last sentence before the end, I did not see that one coming.

@patrick_j_lee Ай бұрын

Love how you always do your engineer characters with a Scottish accent 😄

@Cptn_Candy Ай бұрын

Always makes my day a bit brighter seeing you read one of mine, thanks agro!

@batuarganda728 Ай бұрын

Too bad they didn't have a sassy caretaker to maintain the machine. But atleast there were no space zombies there! Thinking about it, having an alien master do all the dirty jobs for you is really convenient. We can just chill on our farms and create novelty weapons for fun and profit.

@jobob9643 Ай бұрын

2:53 ... have you tried unplugging and plugging it in again?

@podBopper Ай бұрын

The toe beans need to be spread across the galaxy

@way2dumb Ай бұрын

Hello from Australia, where if aliens vave or will visit, in the Outback, we will never know it. 😂

@allenmorgan1007 Ай бұрын

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

@johnpisciotto7115 Ай бұрын

i want to know how the computer knew of humanity

@garysprandel1817 Ай бұрын

Guessing either the creators of the machine or the creators fecked around with humanity and found out to the point they had to go to ground for a dozen or so billion years and hope the heat was off by then.

@greggwilliamson Ай бұрын

First time seeing my name on the $5 list. YAY!!!

@gothicshark Ай бұрын

I liked the 1st one way too much. As it caused way too many questions. But then I looked at who the author was, and was like Oh... yeah, that's why.

@destroyraiden Ай бұрын

This technique probably works due to the transfer of energy rather then the beating something loose.

@willlockler9433 Ай бұрын

Servant as master.

@grogvaughan5649 29 күн бұрын

Story 2; The Power Behind the Throne

@MidnightSmoke Ай бұрын

Here is a like and comment for the stories, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful KZbin algorithm demon, and get you the recognition you deserve.

@christopherg2347 Ай бұрын

Story 2: Fetch, doggie.

@willgallatin2802 Ай бұрын

All hail the feline overlords!

@mikehenthorn1778 Ай бұрын

The second story, i see we are topping from the bottom again. Lol

@bewarethegreyghost Ай бұрын

"American components, Russian components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!" begins beating console with wrench, "THIS IS HOW WE FIX THINGS ON RUSSIAN SPACE STATION!"