Best HFY Reddit Stories: Playing God (r/HFY)

[@intelpntium]

Terran Alliance: Go get us a seat on the council Diplomat: Instructions unclear, became Gods instead

[@normiesalvador1854]

President: "So..." Ambassador: "We haven't joined. On a related note, I'm being deified by one alien race and humanity as a whole is being worshipped by half a dozen more."

[@objectiveice573]

......you mean humanity 2 electric boogaloo

[@mywither7878]

Remember, Normie Salvador, terrans are not just humanity, but humanity and the creatures which they bred and molded into intelligent and self-aware beings on par with themselves.

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

@@mywither7878 still wondering wether or not Octopusses, ravens and other short-lived species got uplifted. I mean shimps and other apes definetly got uplifted.

[@willparry530]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 Wouldn't be that hard to give the short-lived intelligent species longer lives in addition to sharp minds. So I would say apes, octopi and squid, ravens and crows, and probably dogs and cats as well, got uplifted. Probably dolphins too.

[@mywither7878]

@@biggsdarklighter0473 I am guessing dolphins are one of the top sea creatures lifted. Octopi are questionable, Ravens almost a certainty though, birds are much easier to keep, and Dolphins are something we already mess with, which most certainly show intelligence and spcial behaviour. I'm thinking it's a case-by-case matter, but then again, if you could put in a bunch of effort and lift as many creatures as possible, there's a good chance you would.

[@bottleogames]

Terrans: Casually become God's Aliens: wait that's illegal

[@-zawzaw-8897]

Aliens: you can't do that. It's the field of the gods! Terran: hold m'y beer

[@diabloeb]

Just imagining some nerd cracking his fingers and getting on his computer: "Watch me bitch" 😂

[@BunnyTheOverlord]

@@-zawzaw-8897 I like that the apostrophe implies we're Great Old Ones.

[@maxwyght1840]

Apostrophes don't pluralize. Apostrophes posses. Like Demons.

[@Shythalia]

I think we'll have to reject the offer of becoming part of their pantheon. Anyone who would worship us as gods would be so easily manipulated by bad people.

[@Nyghtking]

Yup, and bad people would do just that, we already have that problem and we don't even have what we could call a physical god in our presence, but they would since we would be their gods.

[@willparry530]

@@Nyghtking both of you are forgetting one thing. 'Terrans' isn't just humans anymore in this setting. Several uplifted animal species as well as AI are also considered Terran here. The other Terran species could also hold us in check, potentially.

[@mr.k4918]

@@willparry530 im just imagining we uplifted dogs and cats now...

[@willparry530]

@@mr.k4918 Oh yeah, no uplifting would be complete without doggos or cattos!

[@zeehero7280]

@@willparry530 Yes our doggos will slobber on us if we dare step out of line, and look at us with big sad dissapointed eyes. how could we possibly stray from the path like that?

[@danielstellmon5330]

"we do not play God, we are professionals" I loved that line.

[@Kualinar]

What the assembly actually understood : «... we are gods by profession» or, «... we are professional gods»

[@ReptillianStrike]

I don't. They should have said "We do not play god. We are gods."

[@brianmeadows1137]

We do do a better Job Than God at screwing up? And that's saying something.

[@Shade400]

Up there with "There's nothing wrong with playing god so long as your good at it"

[@mastadonking3816]

Ambassador: We do not play god. We are professionals. Audio Tech: *drops mic * Heh. Uh, sorry.

[@alexejvecera6317]

Hehehehehehe!

[@SaltGod69]

Audio drone depowers itself

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Humans: "Alright, as our first declaration as your new gods, anyone who puts so much as a scratch on Friendmaker will be exterminated"

[@theanathema3062]

We must protect that man

[@Kitsune10060]

With a level of fire and fury that will shake the universe to it's foundations.

[@Nomed38]

We are humans are skilled in building to a specific design and destroying things already in existance in order to build anew. Many of our construction techniques are thr result of refinement over several thousand years. To species that have piggybacked on the technologies of species that came before them we could arguably be seen as gods.

[@darthlmr7990]

The Question, why am i not surprised you'd be here

[@blazethemilitaryandtactica2852]

@@darthlmr7990 because we are the living past to there history

[@phantomwraith1984]

They use hand-me-downs, and we reshape our surroundings at will to suit our needs. Damn right we're yhe Gods compared to their useless asses

[@daltonloges99]

So pretty much aliens would regard humanity itself as a race of gods. It reminds me of that one story where humanity decided to pick Loki the trickster to represent humanity in an AI Pantheon. "This is politics you fucking idiots." - the Loki AI to an alien.

[@daltonloges99]

@@smmk88 machine gods

[@plinko-moss]

That’s my favorite story

[@4eversight781]

Where can I find this?

[@enclaveofficerz3245]

@@plinko-moss where could one find this story, it sounds quite interesting.

[@najlitarvan921]

@@plinko-moss i am curious as well

[@shannonmcvey8669]

The gods gave us a mind. As such, the profoundest act of worship is to try to understand; and to make good and just use of that understanding.

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

alien god: alright I'll just make a race of stupid little bird people so I can watch them do silly things. bird aliens: begin worshipping the alien god alien god: oh fuck I accidentally made them sentient again, I'll have to start over on a new planet.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

Our god: alright I'ma make a species that will either not worship me, hate me, or love me this should be fun

[@ProtoPerson]

@@theenderdestruction2362 Our God: Also I've decided that if they express the free will I knowingly gave them in a way I don't like, they will be punished forever after death despite that expression being part of the design I came up with. They decided to eat pork? Then they get repeatedly passed through a planet-sized digestive system having their body regenerated for all eternity in the gluttony ring of Hell.

[@Bluesonofman]

@@theenderdestruction2362 We where created in the image of God, is it not just to act like lesser gods?

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Not sure why but that last line Was so fucking raw.

[@matheww31]

Ok good that wasn't just me

[@idcgaming518]

IKR? Just makes you feel SUPER BADASS

[@derpionderpson1424]

Because in the context he is basically saying “we do not pretend to be gods, we are”

[@willparry530]

@@derpionderpson1424 indeed

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

@@derpionderpson1424 He does have a point though by there religion's own definition they are gods. They do everything there gods do and they understand exactly what they are doing

[@TheMandalorianGhostYT]

Now im imagining people taking names like aeres, raiden, lucifer, odin or thor just to fuck with the alien cultists.

[@Troleandocreyentes]

All hail jimmy, god of dead

[@ivanrubiomorales2759]

@@Troleandocreyentes God of Slim Jims

[@TheMandalorianGhostYT]

@@ivanrubiomorales2759 ohhhh yeeeeah!

[@rikospostmodernlife]

Names of gods of knowledge and creation like Ea/Enki, Hefaistos and Thoth

[@soffren]

"hello, I'm Prometheus, have some fire!"

[@Kualinar]

Ambassador : We don't play god, we are professionals. What the assembly heard : We don't play god, we ARE gods by profession.

[@zerozeta1090]

Reminded me of "Superior Iron Man" where Tony says he's not playing god, just done playing human.

[@Lord_Lasagña]

Friendmaker? Oh, how I wish we have lot's of those. I'm also taking the quote "We do not play God. We are professionals.". It sounds awesome.

[@evilmurlock]

I was thinking about this the other day. I am studying AI specialization, a completely normal thing in our modern world, but if you went to the past, even just 100 years the creation of minds was only in the realm of god, same with genetics and other technologies. This is so based. Based on what? Based on the laws of physics.

[@d73w80]

"We do not play God. We are professionals." That line is so unbelievably badass

[@PerpetuallyMissing]

Being a god can't be too hard. I mean, I'm the most intelligent capable person on the planet. I'm not playing God. All this time... I've been playing human. -Tony Stark

[@kyleboffa793]

It's tough to be a god. Tulio & Miguel

[@matijasostojic4288]

I was thinking the exact same thing but with the whole of humanity.

[@cristalmewtwo4160]

​@CannabisDreamsthe same could have been said for Hank Pym who is by all means more intelligent for making it to a universe for the abstracts

[@cristalmewtwo4160]

@CannabisDreams he was going through a large amount of mental problems when Ultron was made but yes he did slap Janet not long before Ultrons completion

[@Arthur09608]

@CannabisDreams In his defense, he said he was intelligent and capable, not perfect or omniscient.

[@antimatter1075]

Great video, this reminded me of a theory about humans, without hardship and strife humans wouldn't be what we are today, there would be little use for intelligence like ours if it didn't help survival. Humans made advances because of problems that we either had to solve or continue to suffer and maybe even get wiped out, warfare has been a part of human history since we first started down this path and it just acted like a new evolution of information rather than genetic randomness. The weather made us figure out how to farm and preserve food and other species taught us how to use nature to our advantage like plants for medical purposes. I really like this story because it reminds me of how we have to be responsible for our future and not rely on an outside force. Look forward to the next video 👌

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Love death and robots The swarm. Sapience is not a long term survival strategy.

[@JesseGolo]

We are professionals. That line is so raw for no reason.

[@milohobo9186]

This seems like a really cool tabletop RPG setting. Mixture of old and new technology and plenty of adventure to be had.

[@warrendesonia7924]

This story is begging for a follow up; Very well written; and you have done a very good job presenting it.

[@DeHerg]

That question at the end could also be answered with a counter question: If it is prohibited to "meddle in things we don't understand", how could we ever gain understanding? Meddling is a required part of the process.

[@julonkrutor4649]

So, we are gods now? ... No thanke you, it is too much work!

[@theenderdestruction2362]

No nope so much nope

[@vedymin1]

And professionals have standards !

[@colinz226]

Be Polite

[@TheMandalorianGhostYT]

Be efficient, Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[@ComedicLetter]

Y’know who has feelings? Blokes who bludgeon their wives to death with a gold trophy!

[@gustavovileladoamaral6326]

*Sniper theme song* intensifies

[@Sora-md1ye]

@@colinz226 Be efficient

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Narrator Bless the Author

[@SwordOfPersona]

And here I was expecting a Ghostbusters quote, "When someone asks if you are God, you say yes."

[@WiredTurkey316]

I love the idea of techno mashup civilizations

[@jonathanblair5920]

Ah, so that's what the ambassador meant about joining their pantheon... I'm not too sure terrains would agree to being worshipped, though I'm sure there are probably sects of uplifted terrains that probably consider humans to be gods 😆

[@cristalmewtwo4160]

It'd help with some peoples self esteem issues

[@peterwall8191]

......"WE do not PLAY God, WE are professionals!" *Mic Drop*

[@Crazylom]

Who needs council when by their standards we are becoming gods?

[@gw2macken757]

Good one. Lasted longer than most. Good story line. I enjoyed this one more than most.

[@GlitchTechV1]

The gods gave us minds, but as a drawback they fucked up physics harder than any sort of doujin or anime will display

[@Troleandocreyentes]

I see no god up here, other than me.

[@LezlyLikesYuri]

Fear those born under the savage light of trial and error. Pity those born in the peaceful shadow of ancient inheritance. For nothing lasts forever. When the wonders inevitably fail them, those in the darkness will cower in ignorant despair while those that shine will simply try something new...

[@phantomwraith1984]

Humanity has clawed our way to the top of the evolutionary ladder over the last 15000 years, and we still try to climb higher. That should say all you need to know

[@cristalmewtwo4160]

Eventually their inheritance will run out as they're sitting down relaxing and they will end up with nothing

[@TheSurvivor637]

“Nothing wrong with playing God if you’re good at it.”

[@dazeyndrowsy]

Humanity: Is engineering entire *stars* Speaker: At least ten times powerful than not just the human civilisation, but the interstellar council as well

[@Practitioner_of_Diogenes]

From a religious standpoint, humanity doing all that still holds up. What is a *steward* but someone that maintains and makes sure things are running as they should be while the real ruler is away?

[@someasiandude4797]

The ending sentence saying “we are professionals” implies that they dont play god but are god

[@mattstrandquist2148]

Some of y'all seem to be missing the point of the pantheon: ALL of the Council species worship Progenitor races as gods; whether humans want to accept it or not, by the definitions of the Council, we ARE a Progenitor race, just in-the-flesh. We literally ARE on-par with their gods.

[@adorablecockroach5131]

The progenitor race that was just late to the party.

[@nerine4188]

12:25 - I see. We have finally succeeded in creating anime catgirls.

[@greywolf9783]

This one was soo good!!

[@ThornMu]

Humans are Space Gods

[@Bluesonofman]

We were made in the image of God, so is it not just for is to act like lesser gods?

[@davidgrimm4063]

as the Medic have always said, "there is nothing wrong to play god, so has long as you are good at it"

[@chasemcdaniel3620]

I thought the twist was gonna be "We created all of you"

[@dbscarlett13]

Terran President: Ambassador, ensure our accession to the council goes smoothly. . . . Ambassador: Sir, accidentally became on par with their forerunner species...deificacation of humanity is the best I can do.

[@Mark73]

"No sir, you misunderstand. They aren't inviting us to _worship_ their pantheon, they're inviting us to _join_ their pantheon."

[@ReptillianStrike]

"We do not play god, for we are gods."

[@ashipthattriestobotheryou4759]

Professional always have standard... and this is our standard

[@kennethhummel4409]

(Humanity) we are GODS!!!

[@niktheson1113]

I was so afraid he was going to say, “We are gods.” I’m glad I was wrong.

[@Neonblade69]

A great story on why it is always important to know the ground floor tech and build upon it. A reason we learn to reverse engineer items from the past and then improve it with the technology of the day.

[@BBCTopgearfan]

Such an interesting concept.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

My cleric, a tymoran saint, couldn't stop a plague, he tried everything humanly possible, so he martyred himself with Tymora's sword to become an angel. He did this after another chacter said you have to rest you have done everything humanly possible. You're right he said, summoning the sword What are you doing? He was asked Time to stop being human, he replied.

[@KroMagnum4]

Excellent.

[@matthewshiers9038]

What kind of "God" would all of humanity be though? The God of Countless Faces? The Shattered Hivemind?

[@adorablecockroach5131]

Some kind of god of chaos would be appropriate imo.

[@majkag1330]

Chaos and/or insanity, because we WILL cause them all to have a visit at a asylum at least once...

[@chadh8826]

In such a case, Humanity would be augmenting themselves to a point that would almost be unrecognizable today. A blend of human and A.I with no genetic flaw. It would have to be done in such a way as to make us unique to ourselves and not the same. Such is the specialty we hold in high regard to this day. Some of us are stronger in other aspects, some have a better mind to focus, but if the baseline was almost perfect and we had a secondary ability to interface with machines instantaneously. The outcome would be an explosion of science and technology never seen before.

[@Bluesonofman]

Reject cybernetics, embrace genetic enhancements. We are souls with bodies not the other way around.

[@fearofthedead]

​@@Bluesonofman Says furry.

[@Bluesonofman]

@@fearofthedead OK boomer

[@LordLemoncake]

The writer has talent : )

[@brandoncady7043]

We would never join a pantheon that would allow us as a member.

[@tomasdubravsky4851]

We arent playing gods, we are the profesionals. Mate you have just clarified that we ARE gods and now the species of the council will probably worship.

[@leechowning2712]

One of the most common arguments ever, was the argument that to any uninformed person technology beyond a certain point would simply be magic. We have demonstrated this time and time again, to the point that 90% of the items people use on a day-to-day basis they understand basically nothing of what goes on inside of them. We flip a switch and light turns on. Even my two-year-old son can do this. But less than one in 100 can explain how the bulb makes light, and less than one in a thousand can explain how the light switch creates that light. We know that within our walls are something called wires, and that they connect to other wires, and that these wires create electricity. If you think I'm being extremely judgmental here, I manage a seed company. I have been told as recently as last year that seed companies no longer need to exist because grocery stores will always have food. I've even been told that if people needed seed they could go to those grocery stores and buy seed packets. That we no longer need companies whose job it is to get those seeds, because Walmart and Amazon do it so much better. I have been at conferences where people honestly say they would like to see all commercial farming stop, especially in the production of animals. To quote one who's been made fun of in just about every conference since, we don't need cattle farms anymore because the grocery store will always have meat. We don't need to hunt anymore because we can go to the store and buy meat that was produced without any animal ever suffering. And while I could presume that they're talking about the artificial meats, they made it quite obvious that they believed that the beef chicken and pork was created in the back of the store, that milk and eggs just appeared on the shelves. To those the modern society is magic. If you were to ask them where their food comes from they point to the store. If you ask them how the food appears at the store, over 90% cannot explain. Nearly 50% honestly believe that the food is just there, and so they can't understand why prices go up or down because the store has unlimited food. To any suitable primitive, technology is magic. A section of the universe where they routinely come across relics from the ancients, all technology will be magic. And we will never be welcome to mess with that magic.

[@FedralBI]

Is it weird that I want to hang out with Friendmaster Cluneo.

[@beingsneaky]

they want humans to become gods.. is my thinking right saying "join pantheons"

[@MonkeSeeMonkeLaugh]

What is GOD? From a logical perspective isn't it the highest point of technological and biological evolution. So any species that manages to survive long enough along with constantly becoming better would eventually become GODS. No need to play god , they would just become.

[@erikmckoul2478]

Nah we can't be gods if we have to follow the laws of physics, now if we figure out how to break those laws without technology then that might be god territory.

[@ProtoPerson]

@@erikmckoul2478 Seems like a very arbitrary rule to set in order to become a very relative idea, that relative idea being the concept of a god. Basically, what you said is stupid and the only rules that exist are the ones that can't be broken. I'd like to remind you that muscles and pistons while in different arrangements are made up of the same stuff on a very small scale, and biology can be made out of a vast array of different materials in different configurations. Your brain is a lump of flesh that works as several different types of interconnecting processing units encoding and decoding patterns of electrical signals. Is the difference between technology and biology in your mind just that technology is made by the biological? If that's the case then what's a baby made in a lab if not a biological creature?

[@erikmckoul2478]

@@ProtoPerson Depends upon the type of god that we are talking about. If it's the God, he made the universe and decided on the laws so I would think that he can break the rules he set for us. Now if we are talking about gods that didn't make the universe and are forced to abide by the laws of the universe, I agree with you.

[@ProtoPerson]

@@erikmckoul2478 Mkay, well now show me evidence of a god that created the universe more substantial than heresay and an old piece of text someone wrote.

[@erikmckoul2478]

​@@ProtoPerson I don't even really believe, I am not arguing that religion is correct just if theoretically God made everything he would be able to do impossible things. Our current understanding of the universe isn't perfect either, but at least that is backed by evidence though.

[@karionwhite2367]

My company build this hammars and WE want them Back! we truly appreciate the fact that you found our lost factory and will look forwards for you giving the factory back or you could pay us. But not with the Dysensphere, because it is a rubbish design.

[@ritafryer8134]

They got upset over humans knowing more than them.

[@Dergownik]

Task failed successfully

[@majkag1330]

Humanity in one sentence:

[@SergeyWaytov]

Wowsers, a big funni this one)))

[@chrisdefresne3235]

So this humanity is essentially the Human race from Babylon 5. The other races were backed by the Elder races, including the godlike species while humanity developed mostly unaided until first contact occurred.

[@Bluesonofman]

I think these Xenos descend from civs that had collapsed in the past meanwhile Humanity is a brand new civ. Also we were created in the image of God so why would we not act like lesser gods.

[@bamatrainfan]

Im early for once

[@pro_vischer3758]

Me to Ya for us

[@MacBorin]

The black hole-like density of ovaries needed to drop that last line...

[@unanonimomas6896]

Professionals have standards: be polite, be efficient... and have a plan to create life anywere you need.

[@bathroomprophet2310]

So good.

[@benjima100]

i hope there is a sequel or followup of some sort

[@Bluesonofman]

Man was created in the Image of God, would it not be just for us to act like lesser gods?

[@alexejvecera6317]

So the xenos are like the adeptus mechanicus? A bunch of kitchen appliance fondelers?

[@Troleandocreyentes]

We are, the great old one’s.

[@BeeKisses]

cold as the bootes void

[@Namel909]

speed !

[@WallNutBreaker524]

Humanity First. Why can't this be downloaded for offline videos? "We do not play God, we are professionals." It's nothing personal, just business 😂

[@jakevex4198]

So in this version of humanity we created Giant terraria's in space

[@70bronzetheorist61]

That's cold🥶😟

[@hollyferay8131]

Interesting

[@josephcroeniangamer3727]

so the lucky bastard aliens grew in worlds whit dungeons?

[@pizzaman3133]

Oh man i cam Only imagine God Saying "I do not Play God i am a Proffesional"

[@beingsneaky]

what kind of ending is that? that is no end at all.

[@ktcd1172]

So the Ambassador just called God an Amateur?

[@isaiahpelly8370]

For The Algorithm

[@goen5601]

What the alien is in 40k Imperium situation?

[@phantomwraith1984]

Wait lemme get this straight... Humans are seeking out brown dwarfs and just chucking shit into them until the added mass combust the brown dwarf into a red dwarf? And then use said red dwarf as batteries for our Dyson spheres?

[@frocurl]

Good story left me hanging a bit but It's off to a great start... what was the response?

[@blinking_dodo]

Hmm, standard but different...

[@carldooley9344]

Sounds familiar... Wasn't that why the Covenant had a major beef with Humanity in the Halo Universe?

[@evernewb2073]

nope: when the forerunner tech they were running on recognized humans as "reclaimers" the prophet in charge of the operation interpreted that as a direct threat to their seat of power and promptly instituted an extermination order soon to be backed up by the rest of the positions of power covenant-wide, there was a bit of dogma about humans being deceivers attempting to become false gods but that was instituted _after_ the decision to wipe them out, not before, inotherwords it's the party line for the politics of going about enacting the decision not the basis of the decision...though to be fair the forerunner AI involved in the incident that only finally bothered to wake up when it detected the humans and stated outright that they had been translating their "holy texts" incorrectly probably did not help matters. ←note that that is _translating_ not interpreting. ...I don't actually know enough about the extended lore to know if that support was species-wide or just by members of their upper caste...frankly from the games and the couple books I've read it looks like the total population of their species is _miniscule_ and there simply _aren't_ any members of their species that aren't in some manner of higher office of power, closest thing to an exception is the assassins they've got decked out in all the shiniest toys.

[@phantomwraith1984]

Humanity were genetically similar to forerunners, who the covenant saw as their gods, which by extensi9n means humanity would be the gods of the covenant, which the prophets wouldn't accept

[@adamglover6948]

Bump

[@mutehowl]

Good thing there was not a human war going on.

[@ghostofwolfmoonmani3877]

It would be better if humanity just conquered them, reverse engineered all the relics, destroyed them and taught the aliens everything they needed to be an innovative species not an imitative one.

[@Renovartio]

hubris

[@mannydavis7708]

Humans are making stars. What technology could these older races have had that we don't or want.

[@punkabooiscool1111]

Neat

[@beingsneaky]

ah yeah what kinda stupid President is that? You Should CARE about what YOUR Ambassador has to say.