Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Human Arsenal

On human weaponry!
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/adoeak
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@calvingreene90]

You want to know what space to space weapons we have no problem the list will probably be obsolete by the time your government gets around to reading it.

[@Felixkeeg]

I thought this was going to be like: Aliens: "Wtf, that is a weapon" Humans: "Huh, never thought about using it that way, thx"

[@juhasznagyjozsef]

Fun fact about the Geneva convention: it only applies to cases where humans fight other humans. For the Narrator.

[@Kez_DXX]

The Hague Convention, depending on the signatory, applies to everyone or or only to other signatories.

[@almar8874]

The Geneva convention was not written to protect the enemy. It was written to protect us from becoming the enemy.

[@Rawkit_Surgeon]

We have weaponized hatred and mastered the various ways to apply it in sufficient quantities.

[@cloudread1k]

a good way to look at how human defenses & weaponry work is "if it cant be weaponized some how it dose not exist." a second way to say this is "if it exists then it can be weaponized." it may not be efficient, effective or safe for the user. but humans can, will and by all likelihood probably have used it as a weapon if it exists.

[@shadowai9668]

or tried to eat/consume it

[@alicorn3924]

@@shadowai9668 That, that too...

[@shadowai9668]

and if it's sentient humans may try to breed with it

[@kalebb1226]

@@shadowai9668 swordfish for both

[@SergeyWaytov]

Poor alien slowpokes, human tech especially military stuff is developing REALLY fast

[@stupidclipsinc.2269]

Catgirl armies, bio spaceship Jeremy, dogs playing poker for profit...

[@funkmastaC]

How many weapons do the humans possess? How many stars are still in the sky?

[@dwavenminer]

Correction: How many stars *were* there is the sky... Humans needed some bigger guns and bigger bombs and there were all these freely available*large* scale fusion reactors no one was using just floating around...

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

@@dwavenminer damn you we had the same idea

[@Kadaj616]

"How many weapons do the humans possess?" The answer is "YES"

[@TheZebinator]

How many breads have you eaten?

[@Shythalia]

Technically, anything can be a weapon if you're.. creative enough. :)

[@guard13007]

I really love the idea that we weren't keeping any secrets, we just were developing faster than they could expect. I thought this was just a story of deceit at first, I really like the idea of us NOT deceiving.

[@kintsuki99]

"What! Since when you have such weapom?!" "Nowish".

[@qrius1305]

"if you want peace prepere for war"

[@jayrodmurderface]

Damn, I want to read and listen to a longer version of this.

[@Ultrag453]

This needs to get up in the algorithm! Good reading

[@giancarlobacosa2546]

There is no rule of enough dakka

[@bernardrednix756]

humanity very creative when it comes to killing

[@kroberts8866]

nevermind the nanobots...those are just for construction purposes, while our pico bots are just playing with femto foam... no concerns

[@halogeek6]

Fuck nanobots I want microbots. Much more feasible and still can be used in the human body. Think artificial supercells.

[@alicorn3924]

@@halogeek6 Frick microbots, have Planck-bots, they can manipulate space-time for FTL purposes =)

[@orlandobritt1460]

Aliens: What weapons do you have Humans : yes

[@TheMandalorianGhostYT]

My guess that dna splicing & engineering resulted in the creation of a real life Ultraman.

[@alicorn3924]

Space Marine*

[@fluffly3606]

Wait until they find out that we've had nukes far longer than any of the other stuff, and subsequently remember that most types of fission explosive should work fine in space. The challenge is getting them on target, since without a fluid medium (solids act like fluids at these energy levels) to propagate a shockwave they're of dubious benefit over conventional cluster or fragmentation munitions unless you score a direct hit. A nuclear explosion in a vacuum is effectively just a split-second blast from a very intense omnidirectional heat ray, which some fairly simple materials can theoretically resist surprisingly well. That's probably why we didn't bother to tell anyone about them until we got the hang of guided missiles in microgravity.

[@anathardayaldar]

Our chief weapons are Fear Fear and Surprise are our two weapons, and ruthless efficiency are our three cheif weapons, Fear, Surprise and Ruthless Efficiency

[@aronnemcsik]

"And that's not even covering what happened when they discovered DNA splicing and engineering" Catgirls. Catgirls happened...

[@Gordon519]

Also monster girls and furries

[@evanboll4651]

And Doggirls. Plus Humans with fully functional wings, gills, and the ability to breathe fire, among others.

[@warrendesonia7924]

DO NOT MESS WITH US..........

[@steve2008s]

all hail inventing + government funding = O My God!

[@seanrobert9661]

[documented contact]

[@Maeshalanadae]

You mean to tell me these aliens never developed countermeasures to each other? I call bullshit.

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the Geneva suggestions

[@BeeKisses]

You this needs to continue

[@filthycasualgaming4540]

In all honesty when we go to space it's going to be 1900 all over again

[@thatguydownthestreat]

When the humans become Batman: the Empire

[@jackrea7857]

And don't get started on mutagenic creatures

[@shanemitchell1986]

Thanks!

[@NetNarrator]

Thank YOU!

[@gManGabe]

FTA!

[@thething9617]

God i hate what stellaris has done to sci-fi short stories

[@daviddragonheart6798]

Honestly, I kinda like it. Started up Stellaris recently myself, and I can see why it's popular. If you're into HFY, you can basically make your own short story.

[@Krozahl]

algorithm comment

[@judebazan7621]

RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@bobmaxjohn1306]

Lol

[@davidblakley6806]

military industrial complex go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[@kingmasterlord]

that last line: and then there were tyranids