Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Traditional Way

Is sometimes the best way!
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/Mussarelinhagames
Original Story: / the_tradicional_way
Please consider supporting me on Patreon here: / netnarrator
I am also available on SubscribeStar here: www.subscribes...
If you fancy buying me a coffee so I can keep this up please do so here: ko-fi.com/netn...
You can also gift me items on Steam if you'd like! steamcommunity...
Follow me on my Second Channel! - / @spartawolf3724
Follow me on Twitch! - / spartawolf
Follow me on Twitter! - / netnarrator
Discord Link: / discord
I can be contacted on discord for business proposals, or under the reddit name u/Spartawolf
NetNarrator HFY Merch Store here: teespring.com/...
Click the bell next to Subscribe so you never miss a video!
LIKE, COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE if you are new on the channel!
I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!
I run a Tshirt store which can be accessed here:
www.redbubble....
#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Never bet against humans in what is essentially a stone-throwing-competition.

[@aardvarkqq]

Hooman throw rock, throw rock good.

[@JRRodriguez-nu7po]

40 years ago I asked my parents to find me a wife. I had 3 requirements. One was that she be light enough to pick up with one arm and throw into bed. I'm not as strong, nor she as light, as then...but we have memories of our very fun wife throwing days and our marriage endures.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Antigrav? Electron engine?.... man we just strap 200 tonns of h2 and oxy to the thing and fuckin bruteforce it into orbit

[@quirkyturtle6652]

*slaps rocket* This bad boy can produce so much thrust

[@clausroquefort8726]

@@quirkyturtle6652 profile pic fits well

[@alexkesslerford4062]

*ksp theme earape intensifies*

[@mouserr]

reminds me of the story of the retired steam engine that had to be used to haul its 5 hauler replacements over the rockies to its 'final destination', the last of the giant steam engines demonstrated newer isnt always better and sometimes 'primitive' can out perform even the most advanced kit

[@imaplaygames633]

But when measuring fuel economy and efficiency the newer stuff has marks for improvement. Primative is good but advancement is great.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

​@@imaplaygames633 Only if said advancement comes with negligible loss in performance.

[@Tejyasn]

I can hear the chants, started by the control room and infectiously spreading to the spectating species: "climb, baby, climb!"

[@robertschumacher2707]

'High orbit? Pfft, we reached our moon with one of these babies.'

[@kopkaljdsao]

It's normal to laugh. Even with decades of improvements we can only lift single digit % of the launch mass to orbit. The mass to reach orbit is nearly a rounding error of doing the viability calculations.

[@avroarchitect1793]

The rocket equation is brutal like that.

[@markbeiser]

@@avroarchitect1793 Tyrannical even.

[@anathardayaldar]

"If brute force didn't work, then you didn't use enough of it." - Isaac Arthur , SFIA yt channel

[@scott644]

Reminds me of the saying, "An oldie but a goodie." Add to that the friendly spirit of competition. Nicely read.

[@karenbaldwin2867]

OK Jim, it looks like the humans have taken the gold in the orbital launch games. Now it’s time for our next event the singularity toss, in which the contestants will attempt to hurl a 20 billion Exton quasi- black hole beyond the event horizon. Let’s wish our contestants good luck.

[@dalemorgan8263]

KSP players be like "Bet."

[@redeye5515]

And the bet was won.

[@Dynioglowy1986]

and Jebediah as a pilot ^^

[@hibiscus779]

So, what would have freaked the hell out of me as an alien would be this: HOW did the humans get the chemical rocket to this planet?

[@cgi2002]

We didn't just bring the rocket, we brought its launch platform and fuelling facilities too. But the how is easy, we dropped it from space, we figured out parachutes long ago.

[@hibiscus779]

@@cgi2002 So ... but this competition is not on Earth. If this is a chemically propelled vehicle, even if this other planet is just a few lightyears away, it would take tens of thousands of years to get there. You would have had to ask the aliens for a ride, which would have spoiled the big reveal of how big the rocket was.

[@dadudeme]

​@@hibiscus779I am quite sure the aliens have ftl so they probably helped us bring some engineering equipment and personell.

[@hibiscus779]

@@dadudeme Ok - but that should be in the story. It's also not enough to bring perrsonnel and equipment, you must bring the rocket and the launch platform as well. If you were an alien, would you be ok with transporting hundreds of tons of volatile explosives inside a primitive alien device in your cargohold? This is assuming they would be willing to 1. go to earth to do this 2. take this dangerous thing to the competition 3. for, presumably, nothing.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Let's not forget that most of the alien's crafts did not make orbit. So how were the aliens going to leave? And if the craft they came in are all capable of leaving the planet, why then have a competition to see who can gain orbit as all of them can?

[@kdmbigpig]

Give me a rock and bring fire

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

The traditional way is spit, grit, and spite.

[@RedtailFox1]

they missed a trick and should have had 'Magic Carpet Ride' blasting from speakers as it launched

[@JRRodriguez-nu7po]

Missed opportunity, humans should have done project Orion for real badassery.

[@EloquentTroll]

The rocket equation is a harsh mistress, but so very sweet are her rewards.

[@brianmeadows1137]

Hold my beer, I've an idea and a slide rule(and a few rocket science people we stole after a war we had)

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

And those slide rules did some serious crunch time heavy lifting.

[@Chokah]

Only thing that would have been more badass would be if they found out we'd also sent a team of humans as well and landed their part of the ship safely at the end. (A planet 1.5 times Earth's mass would have a similarly thick atmosphere which would make a parachute more effective.)

[@charliedulol]

"so... how do we all leave this planet now?"

[@georgestauber2636]

Just be thankful they didn't try Orion.

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

We aren't crazy enough to use that planetside, I hope.

[@awolfalone2006]

Brute force an ignorance for the win.

[@willgallatin2802]

33 engine cones? Was there a stylized x along with that flag on the side?

[@mussarelinhagames146]

Perfect!

[@norneaernourn8240]

Eh high abnormal gravity? Really, I thought I feel lighter compared to Earth.

[@denalozecon9074]

I love the idea of Humans doing something considered impossible by other species with "Better Technology" just because of Humans refusal to give up on tech cause it is too dangerous or impractical. If you liked this story? A book called Footfall has Humans who already had been conquered by Aliens, so Humanity was not as concerned by the negatives of this crazy but possible Radioactive Propulsion. Basically it was a spacecraft with a thick metal plate on the bottom; every second a Nuclear Bomb goes off witch pushes on that plate, every second for minutes a bomb larger than Hiroshima goes off...for minutes! It got to orbit in the story, and this was designed in the sixties or seventies...and confirmed to really be possible even then IF they were not concerned about the vast amounts of Radioactive Pollution it would add to Earth. Anyway I do not recall what the propulsion was compared to what this story describes...but probably it would be hundreds of times MORE than what this story describes, and thus even more astonishing to all the Aliens.

[@denalozecon9074]

Cough. Uh I am pretty sure I exadurated the Footfall Spaceship. By how much I am not sure; I read it probably more than 20 years ago, and I no longer own that book. I am not buying it or reading reviews of it to get the exact specs of that spaceship...this is just to note I think I did overstate it, BUT it still would likely have been much more powerful than what Humans used for this competition.

[@wyvern1992]

@@denalozecon9074 what you are describing, is a vehicle designed in real life called project orion. of course, we didnt test it with nukes but it was possible with conventional explosives

[@maxwyght1840]

Neat story, but probably wouldn't work. A super Earth 1.5 times the size of Earth would have an escape velocity of ~13.1m/s^2, which is right about the theoretical maximum of modern chemical rockets. It MIGHT work, but very unlikely

[@Doctor_Goto]

Love all of the videos, I really do. But the breathing between almost every sentence because of the sensitive microphone ruins it for me.

[@reallywantplaylists]

Is it called the Saturn Vi