Best HFY Reddit Stories: The Warning Shot

Last chance to back down...
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[@TheVascar]

While the folding of a individual into a pretzel is indeed far fetched, that doesn't discount the pain and suffering induced to the recipient in the attempt and there will be an attempt.

[@randyl8979]

Bull did it to Dan on Night Court.

[@dalemorgan8263]

Mm, crunchy pretzel

[@ded2920]

*FORBIDDEN LOBSTER TAIL PULL TECHNIQUE* time

[@epicslayerguy99]

depending on number of joints and flexibility or raw power and lack of care for the damage inflicted, it is definitely possible

[@Xifihas]

Patterson fire a warning shot. Sir this is a planet buster. Ah Potato, potato just fire it Patterson.

[@SubutaiFTW]

Just do it, the French got to write this doctrine.

[@yummysmiles4053]

Patterson fire a warning shot Sir this is a m32 rotary grenade launcher

[@lightbulbz8962]

“Potato, potato, just fire it Patterson”

[@willgallatin2802]

Speak to the enemy in a language EVERYONE understands. Then ask politely, "Would you like to lose more?"

[@dtkedtyjrtyj]

Only 50 planet busters? Seems low, must be a very peaceful humanity.

[@blikizz9355]

Yeah it probably star trek humanity 🤣

[@outrider425]

You never tell the enemy the true size of your arsenal

[@KaiHenningsen]

@@outrider425 Well, not while they're being the enemy. And as to 50 being a low number, compare to nukes at the end of WWII.

[@zerumsum1640]

50 they're willing to admit exist.

[@jnorth3341]

@@KaiHenningsen I think you mean at the end of the Cold War, at the end of WWII we had one more atomic bomb (and atomics are not nukes, generally three orders of magnitude difference) with probably a year before we could finish more. At the end of the Cold War there were 10s of thousands world wide (61,662 is the "official" highest number, 1985).

[@month32]

It's not what EXACTLY he will do to you... It's the sentiment. He might not be able to fold you like a pretzel, but he will damn well try to do it.

[@TheIrishWanderer2166]

Me, General Redbeard: Williams, fire a warning shot. Williams: Um sir, this is a planet buster with an equivalent power output to the deathstar? Me: Did i stutter, ensign? Williams: No sir. Me: Then fire the warning shot.

[@firedirewolf]

I have made the "fold you like a pretzel" before and then proceeded to say "it is possible" before preforming some contortionists moves and looed at them from my head lower than my waist while standing in a matrix stretch, plus some extra folding for extra stretchy joints, folded my arm up to my shoulder behind my back and pointed at them with the hand at said shoulder and said "you don't want to look like this do you?" lol

[@user-sq5mr8ut1o]

intimidation through illustration. "I can do this to myself, imagine what I could do to you!"

[@Talon1124]

We warned you. We gave you every opportunity to stop of your own accord. You ignored us until we took off the velvet glove and used the iron fist. Tell everyone else. So they don't make the same mistake. That is the only reason you will survive this day.

[@Alwindar1]

I think it would be better if Terrans use star buster as a warning shot.

[@ericsiemienczuk7217]

_The Niddhogg has entered the system._

[@Fikoj]

Hmmm how about a 1 ton neutron bomb? Nah that might end like a whole cluster of stars

[@dj82020]

When in doubt call Starkiller

[@dotnet97]

​@@ericsiemienczuk7217more like the entire secret dreadnought fleet

[@Nempo13]

Only problem there is depending on the star...when you bust it, it releases a quasar burst before it goes and you can't control where that thing lets out. You could inadvertently wipe out a planet of your own doing that without a LOT of prep.

[@mikehenthorn1778]

Fold your clothes with you in them. Always loved that line.

[@virtualatheist]

I heard "Hylian Civil War," as "Highly Uncivil War," and just thought, "Aren't they all?"

[@ServantOfOdin]

Oh nono, folding one like a pretzel is a valid thing. You should heed that warning as well.

[@dividewalker5673]

Ah, I see the French are in charge of Terra in this timeline. For those of y'all who don't know, French nuclear policy includes a nuclear warninf shot.

[@kfeltenberger]

Either that or Alexander Haig was in charge...Ol' "Nuclear warning shot Al"...

[@lordlossthedead]

*spaceballs reference here*

[@bignasty4874]

A handful of years ago Mel Brooks had essentially promised a sequal, but he said he wouldn't do it without Rick Moranis. Apparently Rick has been recalcitrant in coming out of retirement to date.

[@lordlossthedead]

@@bignasty4874 I was thinking of the warning shot scene: keep firing a***oles!

[@drewgilbertson]

Stories like this always miss something. If you want to show off a planet buster, why hit the habitable planets first? Solar systems have plenty of barren worlds. Like if you wanted to intimate Earth, blow up Mars or Venus. Big incentive right there to give up.

[@FeyTheBin]

The Terrans using "Force de Dissuasion" in a planetary scale.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@Gouranga_Man]

So the Hylians are canon in this universe?

[@Rose_Harmonic]

It still throws me every time he pronounces hegemon as heh geh mon

[@Hanz19457]

*[n e a t]*

[@clowdklerk321]

First?

[@randompersonnobodyknowsroa7116]

E

[@alwelle3902]

If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to use enough of it. "Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M58_MICLIC 1,750 pounds, or 795 kilos of C-4 "Make a hole!!"