[WP] Everything is a weapon to a human | HFY

After hearing "Everything is a weapon to a human," A desperate alien race abducts several humans and gives them ships, random gadgets, and instruction manuals.
Support The author with their book "AI Stories: Four emotional sci-fi short stories about artificial minds created by humans": www.amazon.com/dp/B089B3SJTX
let me know when you get it in the comments!!
This story was granted permission by reddit author u/CherubielOne to me to narrate and add to this KZbin channel.
Original link: / pi_after_hearing_every...
And...while you're here, why not subscribe and turn on notifications? I post new stories everyday!
#scifi #hfy #scifistories1977

[@CherubielOne]

Hi, OG Author here. Happy to see so many people enjoying my story.

[@player0additem0noif]

The story is fucking genius. I think I can speak on the behalf of everyone who listened to it, to ask you for more. It would be awesome to have this as part of a (semi)regular series.

[@BrandyBottle]

Interstellar warfare dealt with by the A-Team..... PRICELESS!!! great job @CherubielOne!!!

[@jeremilange2533]

Mr. Smith, Mr. Peck, Mr. Baracus and Mr. Murdoc thank you for so much fun times and your service in the gruesome battlefield of the television entertainment. may your jurney to the stars always be safe! Greate storry OP i was "howling" with laugther when you wrote that they had to sedate one of them on recomendation of the other 3, that was the point i knew it was the A-team!

[@machinesandthings7121]

8 minutes in, really enjoying the story!

[@machinesandthings7121]

Just finished, enjoyed.

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

I was rolling with it until they said one of the people HAD to be knocked out. The goddamn A-Team.

[@Odd_Interaction]

I had the exact same thoughts! BA doesn’t fly well at all.

[@bigc1966]

"You're not getting me on no damn plane Hannibal!!" "It's not a plane, BA, It's a space ship." "Oh, that's different, Okay no problem." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 😆

[@Odd_Interaction]

@@bigc1966 Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: (Flying the spaceship) Ladies and gentleman we are expecting some slight turbulence so please remain in your seats until the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelts sign. Don't worry boys, turbulence has never brought down a spaceship!

[@taylorlibby7642]

I love it when a plan comes together!

[@davidwilliamson5574]

Eyup, caught up in this one myself. Loved the idea. The A Team in space.

[@TheWabbitSeason]

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The A-Team."

[@tonynelligan1930]

ok the space a-team.

[@dappermuis5002]

What gave it away that it was the A-Team was the other 3 insisting on knocking out the 4th member of the team. and the confermation that it definitly was the A-Team was about how a plan coming together. Lol. that was a pretty good way of weaving them into the story with out having some spoil sport trying to sue. I enjoy stories like this 🙂

[@williemurkeldove2272]

Heck yeah! THE A-TEAM

[@ehsnils]

I pity the fool!

[@AlexandreLima-yu5jh]

​the ACTUAL A-Team, but in space. Fun times.

[@FenrisofLoS]

I'm embarrassed that I didn't catch the A-Team reference until the "I love it when a plan comes together," quote.

[@rafelingd]

oof

[@katherinkeegan8601]

Don't feel bad, neither did I. Then the request to put one of them under sedation made perfect sense. Lately I have been listening to short 10-30 minute long sci-fi stories on UTube. My mind was geared for another one of those, not the A-Team.

[@ScorpiusZA.]

That's when I caught it too. Don't feel bad

[@OneGaurdian]

You're not alone.

[@highkicker11]

i got the a-team when it mentioned having to knock one out and one of the 4 being crazy happy about going in to space. howling mad murdoc and ba barackus.

[@derekblack2000]

I started laughing when he said one needed to be sedated

[@scifistories1977]

You have to be a certain age to know who it's about!

[@derekblack2000]

@@scifistories1977 I do and love it

[@user-oj9iz4vb4q]

@@scifistories1977 I pity the fool that doesn't get that reference

[@Kangstor]

I was giggling when they said everything a weapon to human and mention a vehicle with 4......ok not Mac Guyver but A team makes sense.

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

@@Kangstor Can you imagine if MacGyver did a guest episode with The A-Team? Edited for typos.

[@Lawleygagger]

The A-Team in space, I think I’m ready for that movie…

[@highkicker11]

series was way way way better the the flipping movie.

[@who_am_i___nobody]

Hell yeah!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Atheos-1]

​@@highkicker11 I enjoyed the movie. I thought it was true to the series and a plus was that it had fan service with Peck and Murdock, from the series, making cameos.

[@fabricioazevedo2361]

I am ashame to say. I just understand it was A-Team with the "fruition of a plan".

[@WarbirdPhoenix]

It's all fun and games till the black ship sporting a red stripe along its sides comes rifting in with its red glowing rift engines. Que the space A-Team theme! 🤣

[@alastairbrand4998]

The minute the narrator mentioned one of the four had to be knocked out...that damned theme tune popped in to my head!😅

[@Swamprat1976]

same

[@alastairbrand4998]

And of course. On reflection, as we're looking at A-Team in Space, are we going to be dealing with Howling Mad Murdoch or Lieutenant Reg Barclay?

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

@@alastairbrand4998 Howling Mad Murclay?... Bardock???

[@Myrcella_Rykker]

Same

[@billperkins570]

Me too.

[@tommcdermott3233]

Not even mad this is an A-Team in space story. I’d watch that movie

[@thomasohanlon1060]

Can picture it now Murdock just floating in zero G's and BA saying "I'm gonna kill this crazy fool".

[@ntal5859]

You are on the jazz man.

[@nickgarcia1682]

I started laughing the second I heard them say one of them had to be knocked out. Cause I knew this was gonna be the A-Team 😂

[@Kangstor]

a step early for me when they mention everything is a weapon for humans and they brought 4 in a transporting vehicle.

[@robinn57]

Yeah I was the exact same.

[@Nodramallamalol]

Same 😂

[@nickgarcia1682]

This kicked off a A-Team spree on my roku.

[@ahzero1]

First thing that popped into my head too 😂

[@darnelljohnson5313]

Wait a minute!!! I love it when a plan comes together Four men?! The A team!? The A Team!!! Nice 😂

[@jcoronet2000]

I was completely oblivious until he said “I love when a plan comes together “ lol

[@PaulStSmith]

“I love it when a plan comes together!” If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and If you can find them, maybe you hire them. The A-Team... In Spaaaaace!

[@Odd_Interaction]

There Is No Plan B...They Don't Need One.

[@navyhmc8302]

"The A-Team... In Spaaaaace!" I read that to the tune of the Muppet's Show's Piiiigs innnn Spaaace!

[@marcuswilliams6794]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@EoinKeithBoyle65536]

Maaan! NBC really fucked that one up.

[@Chaosmage42]

i could see this as a reboot

[@UnnamedSeeker]

"...as one of four needed to be knocked out at the insistence of others..." *A-Team theme immediately plays in the head*

[@theautisticveteran2466]

A-Team Fan Fiction... I never knew I needed this.

[@ssfbob456]

"Dammit Hannibal, I'm not getting on no airplane." "Come on, BA, it's not an airplane, it's a spaceship." "And you're letting Murdock fly it? That's even worse! I won't do it, Hannibal!"

[@mikkelnpetersen]

"You need to evacuate" "We can't, we have no means of transport, we need help at at the very least a ride" "Denied, you need to evacuate" "You just proved that you either didn't read or understood the previous message"

[@Darigahz]

management brain "i order you to evacuate" "uhh boss we dont have a ship" "i dont want to hear excuses just get it done!"

[@td6647]

"One of them had to be knocked out" was the final clue. I'm glad I'm not the only old dude out here watching the missing episode of "The A Team"!

[@Bhisma44]

4 People, military background. Ok, cool. One had to be sedated when flying. Sounds like BA... Oh shite, it's the A-Team. XD

[@howardmallisonii503]

Well, this sounds like the A-Team has expanded their operations...

[@Larph13]

After the US pulled out in Iraq and Afghanistan, the A-team needed some action.

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

And they can be pretty certain that Colonel Flagg won't ever find them out there lol

[@KuDastardly]

Dude, the moment they mentioned 4 individuals in a ground vehicle, and had a military background... I lol'd!!!

[@VonSnootingham]

Same. As soon as they said they had military function in the past and had been specially trained for unsual circumstances, I thought, "wait. Special military? Four people in a ground vehicle? Is it the A-Team!?" And I scroll down to see the comments confirm it.

[@greymane_gaming3435]

If you can find them... maybe you can hire... the A-Team. *theme music starts*😊l

[@Shade_Santiago]

I guess we now know who was excited for space travel Friggin Murdock man

[@SylvesterCarl]

This is the point where it seemed VERY familiar!

[@Dezinteriq]

​@@Shade_Santiagoand who had to be sedate

[@xowishuwereherex]

The A-Team kicking ass in space. I pity the war band. B.A. must have loved going through all that technology and building up the colony ship.

[@Shade_Santiago]

Imagine Murdock in this sh*t

[@TheAKgunner]

@@Shade_SantiagoThat’s insanity. Edit: Pun not intended.

[@xFallN1x]

Best damn episode of A-Team ever

[@target4all766]

Looks like Mister Lee will be getting a lot of strange-looking guys visiting his laundry in the near future and asking about the A-Team

[@Sum-kj8jo]

Murdock was correct

[@johnmckown1267]

I read a book about the OSS in WW2. The author went into vague detail about how anything can be a weapon. His example was being how to kill with a rolled up newspaper. A weapon is simply a "force multiplier"

[@HrLBolle]

yeah a couple shoe laces twirled together make a very good garrot ...

[@JohnJBrowne11209]

I learned how to turn a newspaper into a weapon from a longshoreman when I was about 12. For good or bad it's saved my life twice.

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story! I hope the next story is about a man who uses paperclips and duct tape to "solve" problems. LOL!!!

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

Don't forget the Swiss Army Knife! And then one about a talking car, or a Mach 4 plus attack Helicopter? Or a man who overdosed on Gama Radiation? "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

[@richardarriaga6271]

Also never let him near a Zero Point Module!

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

And he's a kitchen sink chemist too 😂

[@generalilbis]

​@@Mark_Agamotto1313_SmithAirwolf was only Mach 1 capable 😅

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

@@generalilbis My memory has failed me. I swear I remember it being Mach Four. But, you are correct.

[@exiledking7077]

This is hilarious....A-team never kills anyone....just gets them to surrender. Brilliant!!❤

[@morimajo]

As soon as I heard one had to be knocked out I realised they picked up the A-team. I was not disappointed.

[@Larph13]

My mom would love this! She's an A-Team fan! LMAO when the Hannibal's line!

[@nv91979]

now this is how you write a story, take note hollywood

[@shannonalaminski2619]

I love it when a plan comes together.

[@theseriousprepper4372]

Brilliant story! I tracked along with the whole thing, and at the part where the plan comes together, a giant, white bulb flashed on inside my head, and it turned out that it made sense with the people in the car and the phone number. Absolutely brilliant I laughed for 10 minutes.

[@RigItRay]

A ground vehicle with 4 humans. Ok. One had to be sedated for flight. Ooooh yeah the A-Team! Scared of space, LMFAO! Need more!!

[@ik7578]

I LOVED this story. The only thing that would have made it better is if they painted it like the van!

[@dataweaver]

Who says they didn't?

[@CherubielOne]

@@dataweaverI'd say they surely did it properly. There's always time in a building montage to spurce things up - and that paintjob is important.

[@opvjg]

Next episode

[@pauld5265]

A-Team in space. Still not as bastardized as most of the sequels Hollywood has been putting out lately.

[@joshhowell8654]

I knew as soon as they said one had to be knocked out at the insistence of the others. Lmao.

[@thedarcbird]

I'd love to hear an ongoing series of these stories with the A-Team...

[@Kagalei]

Here I was thinking it was the Mystery INC gang and the aliens just didn't count Scooby since he's a dog; then they had to mention the military background and one needing to be knocked out at the urging of the other three. I literally paused the video at that point and started laughing. My coworkers thought I had lost it for a moment.

[@awdrifter3394]

I was actually thinking MacGyver, since he can turn anything into anything.

[@navyhmc8302]

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them.... I guess they found them.

[@Mark_Agamotto1313_Smith]

Sadly, it's been so long since I heard it, I had Airwolf on loop instead.

[@CherubielOne]

They're a bit harder to find now, what with them cruising through the galaxy, but they did expand the scope of their operations.

[@neilthehermit4655]

Nice. Someone brought their A game to the situation.

[@dandare9055]

Scares both sides into peace. Refuses to elaborate. Runs away with ship. Humanity~

[@OddlyIncredible]

-- F yeah!

[@Raven96EW]

"I love it when a plan comes together" Hannibal "I pity the fool!" B. A. Baracus

[@fyrekrystaal27]

As soon as they said that one had to be sedated I thought The A-Team and started laughing 😊

[@brett76544]

When i heard, they had to put one out do to the other 3, all I thought was Mr T. Then at the end, was gold.

[@GrimWare_3QpkRcAU....]

That would be a fine movie...... The A=Team in space kicking azz!!!!

[@graisonh]

We have to make that happen

[@tricot6468]

I love it when a plan comes together

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

While i knew right away this was an A-team reference... all i could think of was... "lightweights." Had this been "stargate" the bandits would all have died... as that gas giant turned into a 2nd sun for a moment. "You blow up one star, and everyone expects you to walk on water."

[@CherubielOne]

Well, SG1 is sort of a special case with the property damage they routinely cause.

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

@@CherubielOne blowing up planets, suns, humans really do make a mess of things, don't they?

[@CherubielOne]

@@jenniferstewarts4851Yeah, they do. We should complain to someone about it. Unfortunately they don't even have a unified government that you could address these complaints to. Bah.

[@AuDHio_Recordings]

@@CherubielOne @jenniferstewarts4851 Are... Are you not...?

[@Lord_Phoenix95]

Well if course but we'll leave the Star Destroying to McKay.

[@iexistnowhere5004]

Hahahaha A-team. "I love it when a plan comes together"

[@georgesulea]

I pity the fool who puts me in a spaceship!!!! I bet Murdoch had a GREAT time:) And he gets to NOT LIE about being abducted by aliens!

[@Jack-th9zg]

If you watched the A-Team, remember they never killed anyone.

[@WorldWalker128]

I heard the first ten seconds, and "Oh no, you dun goofed!" went through my head.

[@jdau2b]

Yes ,total satisfaction when a plan comes to fruition!

[@masterful7574]

The A-Team!!!! I love it when a plan comes together.

[@oniarrca9431]

I died laughing when 4 humans in an old ship made a warband of 3000 aliens...scared of space. 🤣🤣🤣

[@elbonnybar]

I was mildly suspicious when they knocked up one dude and when they put music to mcgiver the space ship i went to "you gotta be kidding" , the last bit on "i love when a plan comes togerher" had me rolling on the floor😂

[@leadingauctions8440]

The offer is writing was excellent. I enjoyed how they interrupted his initial explanation with a question. It made it feel more real.

[@Agil70Game]

So They pick The A-Team? XD

[@chrisrmorriscm]

They found them and they hired the A-Team..😂😂😅

[@OddlyIncredible]

I mean, if you're _going_ to ask rando humans for help to fend off an invasion, who better?

[@Tootal74]

The "A" Team rides again! Love the insider HHGTTG reference!

[@OddlyIncredible]

Plural Z Alpha.

[@CherubielOne]

Yeeeaaaaah, and here I thought it'd be too subtle.

[@OddlyIncredible]

@@CherubielOneAs soon as I heard ZZ9 I'm like yes, a fellow of culture! (THHGTTG is one of my favorite book series.)

[@Tootal74]

@@CherubielOne Well... I'm a deep fan. I've got all the books, audiobooks and movies. Douglas Adams was an epic writer.

[@CherubielOne]

@@Tootal74Agreed, he absolutely was. I've read the series a couple times, so if my writing is influenced by him, it's no wonder.

[@IkatteiruPanda]

The A-team on space! This put a smile on my face and a tear on my eye. 💕

[@unpaintedleadsyndrome]

Oh god... One had to be sedated before the flight... taa ta taa ta ta taa tata tada tataa... Looking forward to what BA is going to comeup with in the fabrication montage :-)

[@xlerb2286]

It wasn't a fair fight. The A team had them outnumbered 4 to 149,937.

[@luisvillegas7529]

"I love it when a plan comes together." Classic!

[@Questor-ky2fv]

Thanks for the laughs! I loved the A team series! My smartphone died about 2 months ago on the same day I almost died. Been stuck in the hospital & physical rehab watching old TV shows ever since. A relative finally brought me a new tablet today. Still trying to figure some of it's features, but managed to get online & on KZbin. This was the second video I turned on. Listened to stuff from this site before, so I knew it would probably be m good. I saved it in my humor file.😊 Gonna listen to a few more, & maybe watch a funny animal video before going to bed.

[@johnsullivan6560]

Nice! Were they all riding in a van? Was one chewing on a roll of organic material? Again, nicely adapted!

[@ThatAnArchyDude]

"... having great fondness to a plan which comes to fruition." The suggestion they knocked one of them out before taking off went over my head before then, but that's definitely the A-Team. 😂

[@calvineulalio6654]

The "A" Team - BA, Faceman, Murdock, and Hannibal...Oh Yeah!

[@Adlehyde.]

When I heard, "put together a plan..." and realized that it was the A-team, and then was disappointed with myself because I immediately realized that I failed to realize it was the A-team at, one of them needed to be sedated at the insistence of the other 3. LOL.

[@lordofnothing255]

I love it when a story comes together.

[@terryhayward7905]

As soon as the reader said, " one of them had to be knocked out before flying" I KNEW it was "The A Team". Beautifully written and a great story.

[@detroitdan8487]

A priceless A Team story. Would like to see this one on the screen. Can we get one with Maverick, too? A Team, MacGuyver, and Maverick. Fun entertainment.

[@Todd41R]

I LOVED THAT! When i heard one of theam needed to be knocked out i immediately thought the A team then the reference towards the end to call them and Hannibal Smith "I love it when a plan comes together." Reference. NICE WELL WRITTEN!

[@Sk0lt]

The next episode will be done by MacGyver?

[@jeffreyharville1918]

Yep, a hand full of nuts and bolts, some string, and a roll of duct tape (along with a Swiss Army Knife) and He can have the slowest of starships able to fly faster and maneuvering better than any space fighter known!!

[@eyallev]

what would a macgyver and A team cross over be like? a-team :we need to put a gun on that truck macgyver: no. no guns a-team: how about a nail gun? macgyver: ok, but the nails have to be longer than 2 inches, otherwise they are bullets. (to be fair, yea, I know he's ok with bullets coming out of a barrel).

[@TALON_SILVER]

@@jeffreyharville1918 Don't forget the paperclips

[@jeffmckenzie7282]

They grabbed the A Team from Earth. LOL!!!

[@kalmanvarga3609]

So the aliens accidentaly hired the A-team. LOL. This is gold.

[@RabidGeek-71]

Loved the story! I would love to see a movie of the A-Team in space!!

[@jahrn6]

"If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The A-Team!"

[@daveercolani3192]

I love the fact that you made the A-Team, the heroes of the story two thumbs up

[@CorsetGrace]

If someone is going to make a movie about The A-Team, this is the one I want to see.

[@damonlacy1333]

I was enjoying it and didn’t realize until the end that they were talking about the A-Team 😂😂😂😂

[@rodlepine233]

the A-Team lol

[@mpflaga]

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

[@pagliaccisghost269]

Loved it!! I actually thought about the A-Team, when they said that they had to knock one of them out, then at the end of the story, it really was them!?!?! Brilliantly done!👏👏👏💪

[@leogarciabooks]

Pick up the freaking A-Team. I gots the jist of it when one of the four had to be put to sleep before the flight. 🤣🤣🤣 Awesome story 👍👍👍

[@roberthuron9160]

For another plot twist,and guess who! Use some time travel,and dimensional side lines,and get Sherlock involved in a closed door murder mystery! Asimov did a few stories in the 60's and 70's,but long out of print! Anyway,there are tons of cross-over materials out there,and thank for a double barreled hilarious ending! Great writing and imagination! Thank you! Thank you 😇 😊!'😊😊

[@d.j.langehennig6330]

Love the A-Team tie in. Caught it as soon at BA was knocked out.

[@night3096]

I'm halfway through this and this is sounds like the a team

[@mikeice38]

True

[@Terran.Marine.2]

Sort of does.

[@Sandhammer]

I anit getting on no plane!

[@BadBoiPHIL78]

Totally is the A-Team.

[@night3096]

@@Sandhammer I was thinking it beforehand but soon as they mentioned I don't get on a plane and a plan coming into fruition I new for a fact

[@SwirlingSoul]

I SO want this story to continue! I love it when a plan comes together! ;-))

[@KevinFlynn]

I love it when a story comes together just right...

[@Shyster099]

I was worried wouldn't include 'I love it when a plan comes together.' But you made it even better!

[@brucethompson7214]

Go A-team! That was so much fun. Well done!

[@tammyw6187]

When you said that one had to be knocked out I thought A-Team!!!! I love it when a plan comes together.

[@Revittize]

It took me a 2nd listen to realize this was the A-team, i loved it.

[@smokinggnu6584]

5:33 It was at this point that i burst out laughing uncontrollably. People who watched this will know exactly why.

[@markgraham7291]

I started whistling the tune😂😂

[@Peterjr1961]

I love it whena story comes together

[@Andy_Wolverine]

A-Team! YEAH! Loved this story! Thanks a bunch!

[@CharlesGann1]

Love it when a plan comes together! Great story.

[@jasonleigh4938]

Lol, the A Team space version was very funny, thank you 😂

[@JackyPup]

This was awesome. I didn't pick up on it until the last bit. Amazing writing.

[@nesapanjalingam704]

Thank you 💙💚❤️ for all your effort & the time you put in when uploading this. It is really truly appreciated 🙏 Nice twist there 😄

[@atheriomobradeigh9136]

The A-team saying at the end got me dying of laughter!!!