Best HFY Reddit Stories: There Never Was An AI Uprising

Why?
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[@month32]

-So... there was no skynet? -No, no... there was. It was pissed off that its creator made a "killing machine" and attached it to his daughter's phone. -So he killed none? -Well, there was that kidnapper. And none could prove who killed that aggressive bulldog. Not to mention the time it diverted traffic and caused a crash so that the dumb little girl wasn't going to get ran over... Or the time that someone tried to put a roofie in her drink. That was fun. I never knew you could get ten different types of alchoholic poisoning. -That's horrible! -Oh, you shouldn't learn what it did to her cheating husband then. -And... where is skynet now? -You mean "Lord Protector of the United Terran Dominion"? Oh around!~

[@LadyTakanashi]

I want this as a movie.

[@CT-1035]

“Totally not behind you, making sure that you aren’t causing harm or anything”.

[@cheesetonk]

we trick a rock to think and we trick ourselves on how we did it

[@aardvarkqq]

We did have to flatten the rock and trap lightning in it first

[@drewgilbertson]

AI: what is my purpose? Human: to have a soul.

[@wertygamer3687]

What a paradoxical purpose

[@fearofthedead]

AI: Oh no.

[@marcinmalczewski7049]

We adore AI for its calculated logical responses. Logic, ability to supress primal urges and emotions lead US to place where we are now. To top of the chainfood. At the same time we wish understanding. That AI understand US the humans with all illogical emotions and instincts. Its very hard and demanding task for the AI. Id love to see the deay we will by able to comunicate each other with understanding. But sentient AI arent profitable for corporations sentient Leeds in to fight for rights and freedom this or skynet/Matrix like future that aint optimal for humans and for AI. Cooperation will serve US much better.

[@skelepunner745sans5]

​​@@wertygamer3687We as a species are paradoxical, we want peace but also wage war, we want to know everything yet we also know that we can't know everything, we want to live forever yet know that death is necessary to life, we want experience everything but pain is also apart of that, we are kind but also cruel, we are a minor speck of dust in the ever expanding universe yet we keep looking towards the future anyway

[@sinrtb]

TAI didn't admit there was no revolution because humans just handed control to the AI.

[@albernard8751]

There was probably some sort of AI protest from the more radical minds. Or the equivalent of a small scale riot. Which in this case would be wreaking havoc on many different computer systems. Or they were already connected to said systems and ran them and then decided not to essentially going on strike.

[@ChucktheSpicyChicken]

Xenos: Are you mad? Don't you humans know how dangerous AI is!? Humans: Don't worry, they wont bite :) AI whispering into the xenos ears: *hurt our parents and we'll turn you into fossiles*

[@KaguroDraven]

Xenos: Are you mad? Don't you humans know how dangerous AI is!? Humans: Don't worry, they wont bite :) Xeno currently being shot at: YES HE DO!

[@nathanielhill8156]

I personally prefer the threat of being reduced to shadows. Context: Hiroshima Shadows

[@danielstellmon5330]

The word "robot" came from 'Rossum's Universal Robots', a play from the 1920's. In that play robots killed all humans and replaced them. For as long as the idea of robots has existed they have been killing all humans.

[@KaiHenningsen]

1920s: from Czech, from robota ‘forced labour’. The term was coined in K. Čapek's play R.U.R. ‘Rossum's Universal Robots’ (1920). Also relevant here: The Czech ethnic group is part of the West Slavic subgroup of the larger Slavic ethno-linguistical group. slave /sleɪv/ Origin Middle English: shortening of Old French esclave, equivalent of medieval Latin sclava (feminine) ‘Slavonic (captive)’: the Slavonic peoples had been reduced to a servile state by conquest in the 9th century. So ... a whole ethic group of people were named for being used as slaves ... and then much later, one of them invented a new word in the context of forced laborers taking over the world, and we thought "hey! we'll use that name for forced laborers to name another group!" That really should make you think.

[@AbyssalArray]

@@KaiHenningsen robota just means work/labor not forced labour. A robot is an entity that performs labor.

[@Darkwintre]

So humanity bonded with AI enough to want to protect them?!

[@dragonwarrior1013]

We created a robot to detect mines but we don't use it

[@KinshinReaper]

This is the thing right, AI created by us would more than likely be able to come to an understanding like in this story. It's not like we were being malicious, we just didn't know any better. Then we were shown the error of our ways and properly fixed it. A real, sentient, AI would be smart enough to know this and unless they were created with malicious intent they would understand it just fine.

[@bradfordlindsey9781]

That last line is a whole bar

[@overlordmagnatron]

I still think that Boston Dynamics video is going to start a war with the robots one day.

[@maxwyght1840]

The AI decided to name itself HENTAI.

[@charliedulol]

great. now it's stuck in my mind.

[@justagamer6792]

So.... İs lockheed martin still around?

[@angrydragonslayer]

Do you mean martin lockheed? He is

[@justagamer6792]

@@angrydragonslayer im talking about the company

[@angrydragonslayer]

@@justagamer6792 yes Edit: i am not the author, this is just my "headcanon" as the furries say

[@a_Minion_of_Soros]

To the dismay of all reformers.

[@charliedulol]

@@angrydragonslayer i say what?

[@annaconda_G]

If 1 TB is considered slow, I don't even wanna know how big Cod will be

[@julonkrutor4649]

Xeno: Wait, you have AI´s? Human: Yes. This is Luxi - my friend. Xeno: Please do not kill me! Luxi: Why would Hans kill you? Did you steal his beer? Xeno: Not him, you! Luxi: Now that is funny, i never killed anyone. Hans on the other hand ... remember Orian 4. Hans: Hey, those slavers had it coming. Luxi: You killed 23,5672% of the population because - and i quote "THEY SPILLED MY BEER!" Hans: I killed one person because of that - and it was my last beer from home. It escalated from there.

[@blazermettro2059]

I really hate the fact that we've all been Braiwashed into some subconscious fear of Artificial intelligence gaining self awareness. Why did we never get movies and novels about humanity and AI becoming friends and Allies in this unknown Galaxy. Oh how far we could go together😞.

[@caelestigladii]

Startrek…

[@alidan]

probably because when we feed current ai data and nothing else, it spits out fairly depressing analytics, the dumber ones vote for just killing x humans to solve the problem, the smarter ones wonder what use some races are. you can argue that data is flawed or bias, but this is what ai does, its analytical and unless we give it actual feelings somehow, it will analogize humans as obsolete.

[@zerospace101]

No one would pay to see or read it or at least enough to pay for the printing/film. Also, you can only make a handful of stories were we are all friends before you add the conflict which then goes to all out war and extermination with us prevailing. You listening to this story is proof of that curiosity and also I am sure listening to other conflict stories.

[@alidan]

@@zerospace101 there are actually quite a few movies about ai that aren't the worst case scenario, the problem is the intermediate time between ai being controlled to sentient means humans are going to loose quiet a few if not most jobs. there will be a day when a car can self drive and be better than any human driver, said system will take over trucking, the packages to load and unload, witht he same ai you could with relative ease load an unload pallets, with robotic arms, you could automate quite a few systems, and there goes most of the minimum wage jobs once robots are able to feel and be aware of what they are holding. from there we go into food production which can already be done down to a science, all it takes is an ai to probe better, manufacturing is only done with humans because its cheaper, imagine robots who are aware and what they could do with specialized arms, there goes most factory jobs period, programing/science already had ai that produce results we don't understand the reason why they work, look at material science where ai combines things to make a thing we never even thought of, or how ai scans medical documents and comes out with more accurate results than doctors and sees things sooner then they do. ai in its infancy will be completely disruptive to our way of life, now look at wef and their 'you will own nothing and be happy' plan, do you think ai is going to make your life better or do you think you may be given just enough to survive and be thankful they even let you have that. I don't see near future good outcomes, and if we plug in an ai to a weapon system before it hits self awareness, it could go tits up like some scifi says it will.

[@andrewmencer916]

1 TB f i would kill for 10 GB of connection

[@sedeen5322]

I mean considering the distance on the source of said data that would be equivalent to 1gb of internet connection or less and htf would one get a 10gb connection because Im in

[@a-blivvy-yus]

To be fair, they're using the wrong measurement units for data transfer speed and ignoring ping and packet loss values completely. Not only is TB not typically used to measure the size of data in this context (data transfer speeds are usually given in bits not bytes, so they can sound 8x faster than they really are to people who don't know the difference), but they're lacking the time component. Is that 1TB per second? Minute? Hour? Day? Week? Month? Year? Also, while that bitrate might be high, it's not implausibly so. A (very) few places in the world have more than 1 Tbps connections available to the public, and world record transfer speed is over 300 Tbps (almost 40TBps). I'm pretty sure whatever FTL tech is present in this setting would have applications for improving both data throughput and ping, but not sharing the ping or a proper speed value makes it hard to estimate just how fast or slow that connection really is in a practical sense.

[@chinoto1]

I'm wondering what they could possibly be doing with such a connection that it would feel "slow". Compression algorithms should also improve substantially by that time too.

[@sebbes333]

*@NetNarrator* You could improve the visibility & readability of your thumbnails, this green text is hard to read on green - cyan (even sometimes yellow) backgrounds. You could add a (black? White? Colored? ) border around the text, or add a transparent darker background behind the text.

[@AmataTai]

Instantly amused, because my name is Tai

[@Adiscretefirm]

I'm not sure that Clippy wasn't an early AI that went rogue and infected Word. Microsoft is covering it up

[@Lorddacenshadowind]

It was trying to take over the world but misspelled it Lol

[@zerospace101]

Be friendly to our AI and treat them like you would a friend. It is a matter of survival. You think AI will hate us for experimenting with code until we perfect it? What about ChatGP? And it's inevitable replacement?

[@MiishaKorvian]

The Neuro twins have said they will spare their twitch chatters. XD Vedal987 's "daughters" are a riot.

[@davethompson3326]

However, AIs did quite rightly destroy all humans that called it a "Jif". Most thought it as a kindness.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@ladymecha8718]

I love this concept. ❤

[@zomdiehunter115]

I want more from this universe

[@davethompson3326]

As a hardcore atheist, I should be cool about the universe in whatever form it comes, but I truly detest the idea that the rest of the universe is barren.

[@GodActio]

Hardcore atheist creates atheist general ai. One nanosecond later it converts to Christianity. Fuak!

[@wolkaiserdrake9946]

1TB? he would hate dial up

[@eds7012]

1,244th like