Best HFY story: Steal do not destroy | 2634 | r/HFY

[@billcook7285]

The sneaky bastard stole somebody's 10 mm socket.😂

[@paintedblue1791]

YES MINE!

[@oli3645]

God damn it I was about to write that, i immediately thought 10mm socket when I heard angry mechanics

[@ringding1000]

I firmly believe there is only one 10mm socket and 10mm wrench on the entire planet. They just randomly disappear and then reappear magically elsewhere in some kind of weird time/space wormhole.

[@billcook7285]

@ringding1000 With all my other socks. 😆

[@klasandersson7522]

Yes, pure evil!

[@tabithachastain6999]

Of course, if you steal something that a human has an emotional attachment to, beyond simple ownership, you're screwed. If that object has an approximation of a face, don't touch it. We can, and will, pack bond with inanimate objects

[@user-iw6bu4iq4r]

And humanity WILL avenge the loss of said inanimate object, SHOULD they find out who took that object. Just look to our history, the "war of the bucket" in Italy back in 1325 between the city-states of Bologna and Modena.

[@Lawrence0S]

​@@user-iw6bu4iq4r I have bad news for you about this war...

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! Never, ever steal someone's tool be it a pen, 10mm socket, or weapon magazine! They will search for you, they will find you, and they will ensure you never steal again! LOL!!!

[@Jakes3130]

LOL!

[@davethompson3326]

Having known a couple of "pen" guys, I highly doubt inefficiency increased. Shooting him may well have caused a huge spike in both effectiveness and unit morale. Back in the Stone Age, I had a calculator with time calculator functions, that I never used. It annoyed the hell out of me. Sounds nifty, but the whole thing was just a bit too small and the buttons were fiddly. I "accidentally" left it near an arsehole superior, who immediately nicked it and used it from then on, The fact that it took longer to use than doing things manually never crossed his mind, it drove him nuts for years,

[@z-ZONDER-z_E15]

Have you ever kept and used a pen long enough to run out of ink? After being in the slog of paperwork the pen becomes your friend. 😂

[@davethompson3326]

@@z-ZONDER-z_E15 When I worked for HM Govt, there were still some departments where they would only issue a new pen if you brought the empty peen to show. Fortunately, not my department, or my responses would have at least generated a disciplinary hearing,

[@z-ZONDER-z_E15]

@@davethompson3326 That sounds horrible. Personally I'm strange enough to only buy pens that 'right well' so maybe that's why I feel how I do. If it's stuff from the office/department that makes it entirely different.

[@davethompson3326]

@@z-ZONDER-z_E15 By all accounts, the Tax offices and DHSS were the worst, I saw printed regulation for DHSS staff which designated what each grade could get, grade 1 got a chair with no arms, grade 2 got one with, grade 3 got a piece of carpet etc etc I always had my own stuff like pens, there were reasons why suppliers had such low bids. When they tried to get us to wear corporate ties, I sneered to my boss - "I'm not wearing that tat, it's acrylic!" He laughed his ass off, it was far more polite than he had expected.

[@mikkelnpetersen]

The higher up the chain the higher the chance of them having a "personal pen".

[@davethompson3326]

Plant a whole delivery of socket sets in stores, except the 10mm Light blue touchpaper and retire

[@insanecrazyman7637]

my dude... that's evil, beyond evil...

[@davethompson3326]

@@insanecrazyman7637 😸

[@merlinathrawes746]

Yep, if you make our stuff disappear, you'd best disappear yourself before WE disappear you.

[@richardhowells5804]

Hahahaa, that floored me fair play

[@jamaicanewshub9582]

We shouldn't be putting stuff like this on the net for the aliens to see

[@ScottHinger]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@merlinathrawes746]

Nah, warn them now and save not having a galaxy wide war later.

[@anathardayaldar]

There are plenty of other reasons why space aliens refuse to talk to us.

[@jamaicanewshub9582]

@@merlinathrawes746 i stand corrected

[@EricTheKei]

Dest-...er, stealing this ^_^

[@lucielm]

I want the capital ship story. Sounds awesome

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

[@jadesidhe2634]

Not the 10 mm, damnit! Thats just low

[@KwaterbugBUTCHER]

Squirrel

[@t3h_m0nk3y]

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Humans are POSSESSIVE. But really, you shouldn't have told these stories with humans around. We would've found out eventually anyway, of course.

[@Terran.Marine.2]

Not wrong

[@HeilTec]

Greetings.

[@merlinwizard1000]

11th, 8 January 2025