BEST OF CHILDHOOD STORIES

[@crawford6807]

It brings a big green smile to my face to hear the boys talk about the memories implanted in them as test tube babies.

[@bayersbluebayoubioweapon8477]

Hey that’s not funny I’m a test tube baby and our memories are actually bred into us not implanted contrary to popular belief

[@Shitbird3249]

My teeth keep turning brown, holding all this shit inside me, my feelings swell up like my my prostration it only causes pain.

[@fancyincubus]

I'm just happy Chris ripped off a church basket

[@alanacidmyer]

Helo Crawford

[@lorenarodriguez1961]

Test tubes

[@rickkcir2151]

I love the voice Chris gives himself as a child.

[@lizzieandmocha1131]

@ItsOnlyDanny DUDDY WUDN'T BAH ME AH SUPAHSPLIT

[@McDoinky]

I LUV DEES GAME

[@EsteemedReptile]

DAT SOONDS FOOKIN' DEDLY

[@thehammurabichode7994]

*_TADEE WOULDN'T BUY ME A-_*

[@Doughy3205]

Sounds Deutch🤣

[@cronst6352]

Adams stories that gradually evolve as he remembers them in real time

[@homiejack]

Yeah like "I always thought alien computers would be awesome but I got one and it sucked" followed by "I threw it down the stairs"

[@krampuskardashian5890]

They're procedurally generated.

[@BlackMoonHowls]

@@krampuskardashian5890 Someone got it.

[@lucasottens8506]

It's called "lying."

[@anonhaha400]

The story of Chris as a 9 year old sending the few pounds to get the cloud strife Keychain and they actually sending it to him, that makes me smile and go "aww" every time

[@allahuakbar9084]

Free melly

[@rowleyryan9025]

@@allahuakbar9084no free jeffery

[@BarSimple]

Time stamp pwease

[@jordanreyna8744]

Makes me go AWWWW and rub on my inflated belly with gusto.

[@gummipawbz]

@@BarSimple 1:37 here u go sweet thang

[@constructionskeleton8030]

I love how Adam constantly sounds like he just woke up

[@SlyNinjaMonk]

I think he sounds like he got kicked in the head by a horse

[@constructionskeleton8030]

@@SlyNinjaMonk Irish national pastime.

[@BluFactory816]

He's just a sleepy little guy

[@Mushroomazone]

its called being stoned lmao

[@BluFactory816]

@@Mushroomazone He's just a stoned little guy

[@burnzy3210]

the story of little irish chris writing a letter to buy a final fantasy key chain is adorable LOL

[@pinkuparfum]

And the fact that the company sent it to him in the end for his troubles. Amazing

[@Debilm4nzs-zu9bc]

@@pinkuparfum do you have a timestamp

[@HiHi-st3mz]

@@Debilm4nzs-zu9bc 1:37

[@taxisalad]

I genuinely thought he was gonna say they just took his money, it took a nice turn

[@Mizikame]

Back when companies had ‘Tegridy

[@SMA2343]

I love the story of Chris sending money through the mail for the final fantasy key chain. It’s such a sweet thing for the company to do

[@Mizikame]

Back when companies had ‘Tegridy

[@EsteemedReptile]

They threw their learning lab at him.

[@gabagoolingeverywhere]

i remember I was 14 when my ZombiU (remember that) copy was defunct and we lost the receipt so i wrote this overly emotional and heartfelt letter to ubisoft with the help of my brother to get a working copy, a week later i received another copy with this really sweet response saying that they had to break the company rules to send me this copy and how touched they were by my letter lmao. to this day i still think about it and how sweet it all is even if we were a bit manipulative, that employee absolutely rocks and i'm super thankful. wish I didn't lose this letter.

[@himwhoisnottobenamed5427]

@@Mizikame Back when your ass didn’t get robbed by the postal worker.

[@Mizikame]

@@himwhoisnottobenamed5427 Facts 💯

[@SkilesHasFun]

I like to imagine Adam is just sleeping in the corner of the room, and every so often they violently shake him awake and yell, "ADAM QUICK TELL A TALE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD"

[@franklinwebber4412]

Adam = lil sleepy

[@Locust13]

ADAM WAKE UP THEY HIT THE PENTAGON ADAM TURN ON THE TV THEY HIT THE OH MY GOD!!

[@Gwennerini]

Only for Adam, with heavily lidded eyes to say “when i was a kid i hosed my kitchen.”

[@bigbrothertw]

they keep him in a cage and feed him hash browns and only let him out to slay gash

[@majorghoul9017]

He's like Candy Cadet from FNAF 6. You just put a coin in him and listen to whatever he has to say

[@somerandolad]

I'm convinced Zach was just born a nose, and gradually grew arms and legs over time.

[@MrJurgenman]

My little teratoma

[@rish1656]

@@MrJurgenman Zack is a modern day version of Henrietta Lacks

[@slotho122]

Zach has the smallest nose in real life, though.

[@legoyoda_]

@@MrJurgenman teratomar

[@merilynne1548]

@@slotho122 and he’s tall af, taller than Tomat

[@heretics_archive]

I love how ding dong thought Chris was a child and the wait you did that last year was so genuine

[@djdee6386]

still love “How could you be such a fool!”

[@JRBDWD]

@@djdee6386 Ding Dong talks like a SJW,an nwordamerican was going to stab Chris for something he thought.

[@heretics_archive]

@@djdee6386 the yeah boyyy kills me every time

[@lowhp_comic]

@@heretics_archive "y-you, haha ha-OH NO!"

[@gag5y]

Zach as a Harlequin baby emits an unsettling, yet familiar aura...

[@Peradoot]

Thought it was just him as a young homunculus

[@mikekazz5353]

@@Peradoot if That's the case then a Russian Bible would be his kryptonite.

[@brospros6327]

Reminds me of smiling friends

[@mooks500]

@@Peradoot I think it's a fetus

[@davidr3224]

@@mikekazz5353 it's actually a chinese to russian dictionary, which is probably weirder

[@wadewilkos7048]

For anyone curious, the ketchup was most likely fermenting in the cupboard which slowly built up pressure over time until it exploded

[@JohnSmith-gu2vj]

For anyone interested in the TRUTH: it was DEFINITELY ghosts

[@peterthehorseishere]

ketchup just like me frfr

[@ding-dong_bing-bong]

"cUpBoArD pReSsUrE?"

[@beez3620]

yeah that happened to me too when i was living in a shitty student apartment, the ketchup blew up from inside the cupboard

[@mj_frog]

then explain the self-setting clock

[@dippin4dots]

The "9 year old Chris gets a Cloud Strife Key-chain" makes me oddly happy for him. Hope the Cloud Strife Key-Chain knocks at the OneyPlays HQ so he can guest star.

[@mjrtaurus2714]

Ding Dong talking about his school experiences really puts his very dry and jaded mannerisms into perspective. I'm imagining a thousand yard stare with every joke or quip or bit he makes/contributes to.

[@spiralgodking9877]

That school was so fucked. God damn.

[@thehammurabichode7994]

It might also explain some of his sexual disorders, as well. As far as I know, vore / cannibalism fetishes often come from feelings of isolation during a person's youth. They want to feel like they aren't alone, so the idea of consuming someone, or being consumed, becomes a fantasy. Ding Dong's stories convey the feeling of isolation very well. (Sorry for talking about something as personal as his sexuality. I just couldn't help but notice the parallel. Also, I understand that sexual disorders can arise independent of childhood trauma) EDIT: typo

[@Visigoths]

​@@thehammurabichode7994over analyzing

[@7U57HTJRYGHG]

@@thehammurabichode7994 man i was and am a lonely fuck yet i didnt develop a taste for that, i did develop a taste for straight shota i dunno man having a fantasy about older women might be a mother issue lmao

[@TheGimbishGlob]

I am vomit

[@mTwJARhead]

Can't wait for the release of Oney babies

[@Dill_Pickle5760]

Little Oneys 😂

[@TrashyBashy]

They’ll make your dreams come true

[@G4Bunnygirlextrainseason2]

Its coming this spring and it's playing at 4:30 A.M. with three timeslots to 5:30 A.M. with ding,dong and Julian coming on at 6:00 A.M.

[@mTwJARhead]

@@G4Bunnygirlextrainseason2 right after the smiling friends block

[@shanemiller1182]

@@TrashyBashySHUT UP! Cartoons

[@user_45562]

Funny how they left out the part where Tomar tells the story about his twin brother that was sick that one winter and him and his mom used him for a stew

[@blackwingdragon1]

Not to mention the story of how the Tomar emeralds came to be after he * gulp * you know... sacrificed that village when he was only seven.

[@ye11owman29]

Also it was crazy that they left out the part where Tomar tells the story how he basically re-enacted the baby scene from A Serbian film when his mom gave birth to his sister

[@puhskinti9358]

I think it was a soup not a stew

[@d3adxb0yxwalk1ng]

@@ye11owman29 thanks for reminding me, day ruined

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@ye11owman29 that's sick, but something that tomar would in fact do

[@benbing3926]

I always love seeing the custom Chris-and-Zach drawings for the best-of thumbnails

[@jackystarboi3152]

Zach be looking like he bit someone and goes "y e u h"

[@shnitzel9052]

Ding-Dong saying his childhood stories are boring but then talking about the most insane teachers and kids is funny. Wish he would talk about them more lmao

[@Ambipie]

Not fun at the time, but fuckin insane

[@jelly_4_brainz]

UHHHHH RIPASS

[@VLADPowder]

Staff like that is why kids end up lashing out at authority and developing negative thought patterns and bad habits. It's truly tragic

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@VLADPowder *UH RIPASS*

[@anonymouslucario285]

​@WheedPowder you think Ding Dong lashes out at people?

[@queencancerous5332]

Zach and Lyle breaking it to Chris that Lapland isn't where Santa lives will never not be funny

[@Eemi_Seppala]

I know right. It's hilarious how wrong they are.

[@zzodysseuszz]

@@Eemi_Seppalathey’re right actually. Lapland is just where Santa goes to meet his side chick

[@lusteraliaszero]

yeah it's greenland

[@Ongez]

Lapland is in the north pole lmao

[@professornerdout9042]

They should make a “BEST OF Zach leaving to use the bathroom” compilation. Honest to god you could probably fill 40+ minutes with that

[@Ambipie]

Probably drinks too much soda

[@mspaint93]

He's probably lack toes in taller ants 🤣

[@serious.lybobby]

It’s be the Christmas miracle the world needs.

[@absolutegarbage3654]

he's ripping a FAT bong lmao dude weed lol lmao haha

[@joshh9521]

@@absolutegarbage3654 😂

[@sycomonky4993]

“Don’t judge her but she hit me for that one”💀

[@failsrus96]

17:07 you can hear the relief in Tomar's voice when he heard that, he was legit worried Adam got bad touched or something

[@Yetithehuman]

Tomar seems like a genuine good friend to them, and human being

[@mlgcactus1035]

Thata whatbhe wants toy to believe ​@@Yetithehuman

[@oldylad]

@@Yetithehumantired, try harder

[@virus-eiiz]

its so sweet lowkey 🥹🥹

[@reeceschroeder7685]

It puts a huge brown smile on my face how these guys influenced us all to speak on the internet like this, I've been watching them since I was a little homunculus

[@ecstatic6437]

Brown?

[@ggggg77273]

​@@ecstatic6437 Mine is vantablack, what color is yours?

[@kenesys8713]

​@@ggggg77273mine is 4-Dimensional

[@squidmeta]

Brown?

[@dngernoodle]

Brown smile from childhood

[@trashxsenpai9172]

Hearing Lyle laugh like a manic when Adam tells any story is wonderful.

[@alexbrown128]

Love how this video goes between funny moments and childhood trauma dumps with no in-between

[@nickstod5789]

All of DingDong's school stories are just pure, raw and unfiltered American public school

[@LifeOutward]

*American blue city public schools

[@anuses]

@@LifeOutward real

[@iwantmygarlicbread]

@@LifeOutwardblue city? I’m not from America what does this mean

[@LifeOutward]

@@iwantmygarlicbread It refers to cities controlled by one of our specific political parties, often represented by the color blue. They tend to ruin everything they touch, hah.

[@hoggo3789]

I will never not smile in glee at "daddy wouldn't by me a super split"

[@knotbots]

The way he huffs and puffs exactly like he did back then really sells it

[@skeeballz]

"wook at yoself in da miwwoh dahtty 👁👄👁🥄"

[@seansmith6255]

26:19 Cory being considered a child at 19 is 100% accurate

[@asphaltshingles8594]

I would think that still is a child in some ways. A very old child, but still one nonetheless.

[@rrsidentfrickhoe]

@@asphaltshingles8594 I mean if you consider dependents children than yeah, but otherwise, not at all really

[@lizzieandmocha1131]

@@rrsidentfrickhoe I'm 22 and just graduated college and I still feel like a kid

[@rrsidentfrickhoe]

@Lizzie and Mocha That's alright I guess but I'm 23, almost done with college and feel like an adult. If it's just how you feel then I haven't been a kid since I was 16-17.

[@lizzieandmocha1131]

@@rrsidentfrickhoe It's not so much a good kind of feeling as it is more immaturity. A lot of that could be my own insecurity. I know I'm an adult and I know that I'm definitely not a kid, but sometimes, especially when I make a mistake or something I should've known better, I feel like it was a mistake a child would've made.

[@artsyfartsynerdywordy]

Chris writing the Mario movie as an essay in school reminds me of the time I sent the lyrics of “America, Fuck Yeah” and “Freedom Isn’t Free” to soldiers in Afghanistan as an assignment in school. They were supposed to be thank you letters but no one ever checked them before we sent them. I totally got away with it and a couple of soldiers probably got a good little chuckle.

[@maverickREAL]

May I be a nerd and request the timestamp?

[@mezzeara5993]

I can tell you now as someone with a ridiculously large amount of familial military personnel, they will tell that story at parties for the rest of their lives

[@artsyfartsynerdywordy]

@@mezzeara5993 this is what I was hoping for!!

[@sdivine13]

I woulda brought that shit back and framed it.

[@galacticpopcorn9981]

“Alienware computers suck, I had one” “Why? What happened to it?” “I dropped it down the stairs”

[@meatmanmagoo]

Adam's Alienware laptop story are the perfect clips to use to get a general idea of him

[@seansmith6255]

Zach was an embryo until 2009 after encountering one of the 8 tomar emeralds He Whent through metamorphosis and gained skin, animation skill,the voice of an angel and the power of hypotheticals The process was traumatic for tomar and transformed him from a humble voice actor to the megalomaniac we know and love today

[@seansmith6255]

He also gained telekinetic and pyrokinetic making him as powerful as the reliable couple of blaze the cat and silver the hedgehog And with his autistic power coming from rocks Is the reason he is known as psychicpebbles

[@jelly_4_brainz]

The "hosed my kitchen" story makes me think of the time when I was like 7-9 and did the same thing but with sugar and black sugar ants got everywhere

[@jelly_4_brainz]

I did it in the living room and my then stepmom whooped my ass

[@yossarian00]

I did the same with biscuits cause I got convinced ants would shrink me to their size and torture me if I wasn't nice to them after seeing a dumb movie. Surprisingly I haven't yet developed schizophrenia

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@yossarian00 holy shit you thought you was the ant bully???? Your story's better than mine I just thought the ants would worship me and take me as their ruler for gifting them copious amounts of granulated sugar

[@yossarian00]

@@jelly_4_brainz I don't remember anything about the movie, only the primal fear it caused in me. Thanks for reminding me what it's called by the way lmfao

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@yossarian00 Sylvester Stallone ant lol

[@cyber_nuggets8302]

I love how the monkey story was like 2 years ago but it's still in the childhood stories compilation

[@jaden_bricker]

It was a build up to Julian’s ACTUAL childhood story of dressing up like a kkk member

[@GoogleRuinsAnythingItTouches]

34:38 "I was lieing there. My dad asked me what I was doing, and I said "just lieing here." It was the worst day ever." The most Irish of Irishman stories.

[@mesotolioma5089]

Lieing

[@GoogleRuinsAnythingItTouches]

Don't you gaslight me, son. You start lying to people like this and you'll confuse everyone.

[@msthecommentator2863]

His dad was probably worried that his only son had died of the rot

[@AMetalWorld]

You know, Cory says and does a lot of absurdly donkey-brained shit for which he is appropriately ripped on, but loving Mario romhacks to the point where he learns how to make one, sends it to a content creator he’s a fan of, and is subsequently mercilessly and publicly mocked for it to the point where he loses passion for his hobby is definitely not one of those things. Hopefully that guy gets like testicular torsion or is trapped forever in a psychological hellscape of his own creation or something Great compilation btw, one of the best imo

[@sillycookie]

I agree. People can be so awful.

[@mesotolioma5089]

By "that guy" you mean Cory?

[@spyrorocks55]

does anyone have any idea who it is?

[@mesotolioma5089]

@@spyrorocks55 Oh wow, someone here is already planning on bullying, harassing and doxxing people, don't get ahead of yourself boy

[@ThyrsoidRug4817]

@@mesotolioma5089 he means the stupid content creator that made fun of Cory

[@IslanderIsaac]

I loved Zach since he was a little homunculus.

[@sabNavyA]

I used to think Mario was real and lived in California, and I racked up my mom's phone bill trying to call him

[@daltonbecker4494]

What would you have done if Mario picked up the phone?

[@sabNavyA]

@@daltonbecker4494 I probably would have squeed and XD'd

[@byeleavemealone]

My brain rotted from watching the Super Mario Super Show all day and I was convinced Mario and Luigi lived in New York and could turn into little cartoon guys. Spent nights on the family computer trying to find their number.

[@Gwennerini]

That’s like saying Santa Claus lives in Missouri.

[@gabe_20xx]

Lmao

[@niravathu7353]

"I got in trouble as a kid because I hosed down my kitchen" said in that glorious slurred speech made me holler in absolute ecstacy

[@ericcrowley2492]

The keychain story is adorable

[@peterrusso9123]

Chris's childhood and zach's childhood stories just made everything make a whole lot more sense holy shit haha

[@BlackLynx4607a]

They're so self-conscious about it too, just doing shit most children do. No wonder they love cringe videos so much.

[@duckwithlegs6953]

One girl got hit by a car at my school and all she got was a Facebook post, but a massive shrine was made in the hallway along with a mural on the wall to commemorate the life of Kobe Bryant

[@rustymug500]

That’s crazy because I had a good friend get hit by a car the day Kobe died, my school didn’t do a lot for him either

[@Vexcenot]

@@rustymug500 they probably don't want to risk getting sued having a student get run over on school property

[@thehumancomedy3891]

1:51:49 Cory's experimenting stories and chris' reaction will always crack me up

[@AtomicFlounder42]

It always touches me that in the first story, adam tells everyone not to judge her before telling them that she struck him over it

[@eddiemudie952]

One of my favorite Oney videos for years now is him trying to get more attention than his sister when they were little babby kids. He's only like 4 in the video but she's rambling about "the aester boony" and he pops up from the behind the couch like a goblin gnome elf and emits this energy that makes you go "Holy shit it's him. He has arrived. May god help us." RIP Innocence

[@ravenID429]

I LOVE THAT VIDEO hes just lurking back there for like half the video

[@alexfish477]

I'm glad these were all put together in one video. I've been stealing these stories and passing them off as my own. I was raised in a horrible orphanage. My childhood stories scare, sadden, and alienate my middle and upper-class friends and co-workers. I really would like to spare the feeling of being "bummed" by my childhood. Thank you!

[@jinclement5814]

cringe

[@userequaltoNull]

Sadcringe 😭

[@br3akstuff]

Do orphanages even still exist

[@leemsvg]

@@br3akstuffno parents stopped dying years ago

[@dextergrif]

My favorite thing about Adam’s Alienware story is that he blames the computer for him dropping it down the stairs, starting the story with “Alienware computers suck”

[@MitridatedCarbon]

Dingdong story about looking back at how bad highschool or school is, is relatable when you are in your 20s and realize a lot of teachers got mental health issues. Like I thought recently that if I met a person who acted like that in the middle of the street as an adult I would either think they are crazy or sue them. Like I'm pretty sure some were venting out their insecurities, like I think they all wanted to be uni professors but they couldn't so they bullied the kids out of frustration.

[@Jerry-yd8pj]

Checks out.

[@toximan2008]

Which is even sadder, because uni feels like even more of a daycare to teachers. I swear that college students are considerably more lazy and less motivated than high school kids ever seemed.

[@MitridatedCarbon]

@@toximan2008 it depends, but yeah, i've met a lot of university teachers who are there just like to get the paycheck, smell their own farts and act their own movie fantasies. Like, the moment I saw Whiplash I knew some dumb professor would have imitated the JJ Jameson guy like the edgy teens did for Joker.

[@MitridatedCarbon]

@@samk9693 yeah. Like, sometimes I imagine acting like my teachers with someone in their teens, and I feel lsad . Like bro, you are in your forties, stop laughing at the stuttering kid.

[@berdlyistrans]

@@samk9693 there are plenty of good teachers and at least in america considering the pay many do go into it to do good and make a difference, you just sound like you don't like teachers

[@itsumayo]

I’m convinced Adam wasn’t born and instead just randomly fell from the sky like Mr. Bean

[@caitybug8424]

Chris attempting to scream "he went CHRIIIIIS" like 8 times fucking sent me

[@Patrick.Weightman]

I felt that so deep that I was getting legitimately frustrated for him lol

[@RS-jh2fz]

Adam's Alienware PC story is one of the greatest stories ever told.

[@ubermaster134]

Listening to their school stories makes me grateful that my school system was much better, yeah there were a few teachers who were hardasses but they still cared and wanted to actually teach.

[@sorrymommy8190]

I like that Chris is Irish, and yet needs to put on an Irish accent.

[@lillyocarroll]

He has an accent all the time ones more stereotyped

[@br3akstuff]

​@@lillyocarroll Yeah but it has certainly become very neutral over time compared to how it was

[@lillyocarroll]

@@br3akstuff to be fair most Irish accents are neutral it’s only certain part of Ireland that are real strong and Americans kinda think it’s one accent that’s just all nasal and farmer like yknow but ya since he’s been in America he’s picked up on the lad’s mannerisms in speech as most do

[@sunnyd9884]

im glad that being a kid sucked for all of us and yet somehow we still miss it

[@mrscruffles801]

I don't miss it at all, I don't know how you can

[@AETERNA-PASSIO]

@@mrscruffles801 when you dont know anything, like a child, the world seems bigger and better than it is. ignorance REALLY IS bliss

[@mrscruffles801]

@@AETERNA-PASSIO Yeah and when you have basically no rights and the people who you are told to trust and depend on will absolutely scream their heads off at you for the tiniest of infractions like you aren't just some kid making dumb mistakes. No, I much prefer being an adult and not having to deal with any of that.

[@AETERNA-PASSIO]

@@mrscruffles801 lol what? i still get yelled at for the tiniest of infractions as an adult. things havent changed except my view on the world. children have it good, mostly.

[@mrscruffles801]

@@AETERNA-PASSIO Yeah but as an adult you can tell those people to f off.

[@TheArcticBaboon]

32:46 - in case anyone actually cares, Chris's and Naill's ketchup fermented Recently had the same happen to me, though the explosion happened just as I opened the bottle, and got it spraying all over myself. Essentially if you store bottled ketchup at too warm a temperature, the sugars in it can ferment into a gross, ketchupy alcohol. This causes gas to build up, and if left long enough (and it's one of those plastic clip top bottles), it'll blow the top open and "explode".

[@Wyrm3]

Can it get you drunk?

[@AETERNA-PASSIO]

@@Wyrm3 yes but you need an inordinate amount of ketchup and probably added water to get enough alcohol to be viable. itll taste like shit and more likely than not make you sick

[@TheArcticBaboon]

@@Wyrm3 probably. I mean one of the ingredients used in prison hooch is ketchup. Would probably take several bottles of the stuff though, since how alcoholic something is depends on the original sugar content. Plus warm ketchup isn't always guaranteed to ferment, since I'm pretty sure some kind of yeast needs to be present. Also like I say, it's pretty gross

[@Drizzle68]

Please bring back Adam, stories like the opener cannot be replicated

[@superfunnyjoke3922]

I’m still confused how tomar could have been at all of the individual cast members births and was able to convince their parents to let him name them

[@Wyrm3]

He did dirty deeds, ones we should not speak of.

[@puhskinti9358]

And he got them done dirt cheap

[@terrance6814]

"Me and my friend were big Naruto fans, so we used to fook our pillows together."

[@shottysteve]

every time i hear that story about chris's mom trading the genesis for the toys i get stress pains in my back

[@IBACAU123]

hello

[@shottysteve]

@@IBACAU123 hi whats up

[@IBACAU123]

@@shottysteve what's up with the videos man?

[@kevinsteel7875]

I love that you can tell when Chris is telling the truth vs when he's telling a totally outrageous lie

[@Heliotay]

1:40:15 the duck thing is real. My mother (born in the 80s) used to always call the koopas ducks and she still does.

[@himwhoisnottobenamed5427]

I was born in the ‘80s too, but I always called them koopas.

[@fruitytuna2817]

Me while the intros playing: "I hope Adam's story about hosing his kitchen down gets included"

[@norikofu509]

Everybody talking about Chris's story about how he sent some coins to a company and they answered but no one is talking about the God of War's composer being the nicest person on earth, that was so cool

[@noraonchair]

listening this in the background while working is the funniest shit ever

[@kie_stone]

The true TRY NOT TO LAUGH CHALLENGE

[@completelyroundoak]

"Hey (name), what's so funny?"

[@smonr9759]

I’m doing the exact same thing LMAO

[@eightcoins4401]

Cory getting shown Faces of Evil at like 7 explains alot about how he turned out

[@swarler]

yeah isn't that like the worst zelda game ever or something

[@JI0MB]

@@swarler it's the one they made all the YTPs of

[@dextergrif]

I believe he’s referring to the movie Faces of Death which is a pretty graphic horror movie showing both real deaths and fake ones

[@gavynbrandt]

From the classic keychain story to dumping gallons of water on people and fucking pillows in the same room as your friend

[@alfalldoot6715]

All of these are in the first 15 minutes mind you

[@Vexcenot]

They straight up sound like criminals

[@Bashuraptor]

16:46 Tomar is such a good friend.

[@Shark_Byte_]

idk why but like Corey is like actually really good at mario. i was mesmerized by him completing the castle flawlessly

[@Cloud987600]

Chris’s stories are so heartwarming n warm they really make you feel like you’ve known him for years. 1:56:40 lowers my blood pressure

[@taxisalad]

The way Chris recites dialogue from his wacky stories remind me of how people parody movie trailers, like; He's gonna do the thing "I'm gonna do the thing" But his life is turning around "My life is turning around!"

[@danieledgardo2122]

22:27 Lyle - "Every cool person I know has been bullied. That is, to an extent, true."

[@mspaint93]

Coreys gay CD cases story makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe every fkn time. Before he elaborates it seems like he stuck an actual CD case in his butt like a coin slot and it's so insane. Plus using a trashbag as protection is so conceptually hilarious. And him just casually saying things that any normal person would never admit under threat

[@inunekochan]

Cory def stuck SOMETHING up his butt and got embarrassed lol 😂😂 l think thats why he went on about CD cases and trash bags - to try and hide the fact that he answered Chris' question honestly by saying something so ridiculous as a follow up. He totally wanted to derail his admittance to shoving things up his stinker lmao it gets a laugh outta me everytime 💀😂

[@mspaint93]

@@inunekochan Lmao I genuinely believe he did what he said; it's too insane and so much more embarrassing than doing something actually gay. Saying he just did gay stuff and didn't like it wouldn't be that crazy if you've seen his art, but using a CD case holder with a trash bag is so unhinged I could be waterboarded for days and not admit to it

[@inunekochan]

@@mspaint93 Oh, yeah, he definitely appreciates peepees in a sense that he can draw them really good at least! But HOW would he even use a CD case is beyond me 😂😭😭 its nothing but sharp edges. Maybe the trash bag part was true - he coulda wrapped a small part of it around his finger or something else more phallic shaped bc he didnt have/wanted to waste a condom, but the CD? 😥 Its just so wild! lol In the end I suppose its just easier to accept he actually did use both, instead of wondering how, I guess 😂 and it never fails to make ppl laugh regardless lol xD

[@CrazyLikeUhFox]

@@inunekochan he’s talking about those CD cases that are a plastic pole on a pedestal that you stack the CDs on.

[@inunekochan]

@@CrazyLikeUhFox omg, that makes SO much more sense visually lmao 😂 Ofc leave it to Cory to not describe it accurately or say the right word like "pole/pedestal" should known lol

[@lebbo88]

The "I hosed down my kitchen" one is one of my all time favorites. "Don't judge her, but she hit me for that one." Lmao!!

[@fatdouglas4279]

The nail in the eye story always gets my brain going. She must’ve thought that Chris threw a fingernail in her eye.

[@jacrispyjones5845]

The onyplays kingdom hearts playthrough is the best thing on the internet

[@tahutoa]

1:42:17 When I was in 3rd grade, before we took our turn rehearsing for the upcoming Christmas pageant I think, my friend told me about a tip he got from his dad for when you can't remember lyrics, which was to say the word "donut" over and over to the time of the music. He ended up getting in trouble for that, and I can remember watching him sing on the stage with other kids from near the first row of pews in front of the stage. I think what happened was they made him sing with the class under us. I have absolutely no idea what songs we would've been singing, so it wouldn't surprise me if it was original stuff for the play. One year for the Christmas play I was Mickey Mouse. I danced onto the stage, said one line, then danced back off.

[@Asnort]

13:30 There's nothing wrong with playing pretend when you're a kid. It's totally normal so don't be so critical of yourselves.

[@jasonsnusberry3654]

I thought it was weird he said that, he wasn’t even hitting puberty yet and he was putting himself down for something normal. Don’t get on yourself for having fun man lol

[@jameslurp]

my favourite tomar childhood story was when he, as a 3 year old, sacrificed his identical twin to the sun god. his family doesn't talk about it anymore.

[@Basswizard69420]

Chris's story about stealing and feeling guilty is exactly what happened to me as a kid with a ninja turtles action figure piece lmfao

[@capacitatedflux]

The Oogie Boogie/Ape story is one of the best stories they've ever told.

[@GarbbCan]

9:34 this clip is what certified Adam as a member of the channel

[@MorkedUP1]

This is seriously one of my favorite oney plays moments, lyles confusion and Chris’s laughter is the perfect cherry on top

[@marcopivetta7796]

DD sassing Chris and Julian wheezing in the background will never not be the funniest shit in the world

[@justsomeguy9280]

Ding Dong's high-school probably could have gotten in MASSIVE legal trouble if the students had contacted the police

[@ace_ashimation1952]

"I had an Alienware but it sucked" "Why? What happened?" "I dropped it down the stairs..."

[@Vexcenot]

An Alienware at 9 is like giving a child a car

[@kmpoffc]

Adam's stories were incredible

[@phili.9304]

Chris talking about how he thought Simpsons were real is the same feeling i got when i figured out a place called Springfield was real

[@Godlysound]

I love when Chris gets hiccups when trying to imitate his dad screaming And refuses to move on until he's gotten the scream out because it's important to the story Then it turns out it really didn't matter as usual

[@wlfrndz8743]

9:34 is one of the craziest moments on oneyplays ever ngl. just comes out of nowhere

[@Themanwiththeplan1899]

I remember when Zach lived in my small rural village in Spain. For miles around he was known as ‘la gran nariz’.

[@IndexInvestingWithCole]

Too many best ofs. Brain destroyed. I now have ADHD from watching too much Oneyplays today.

[@bigbird4481]

I believe I'm the same, I read brain as "Brian" and was trying to figure out who's Brian

[@meme_lord1715]

@@bigbird4481 you were just thinking of our lord and savior Brian griffin dw

[@Zancoth]

I want Adam to appear more... I hope he's doing alright!

[@blackwingdragon1]

We JUST got a break from Cory, we can't handle that Adam right now.

[@defnothankjwimbleton3475]

34:23 your father was clearly worried seeing you laying on the floor like that, Chris

[@morgboat744]

at 1:54:45 he’s taking about Faces of Death which is really funny to me because it was my moms first R rated movie when she was like 8 years old. her older sister had no clue what it was lmao

[@offchristianamr]

I swear everyone who lived through 80s is traumatized by that movie. I’ve had like four different adults in my family tell me at different points in my life how truly evil it is and to never, ever watch it. Their faces always had the most hollow, haunted expression when they talked about it.

[@parsleyisthicc]

@@offchristianamr my dad use to own the entire collection on vhs. He only mentioned it nonchalantly when I was once bragging about fucked up movies I watched lol

[@volnartheunforgiving3952]

Wait did he like accidentally refer to it as the like Zelda CDI game

[@VillainKinnie]

when i was in elementary, we had an art teacher who hated her job. just despised it. it was clear she was hoping to teach older students but ended up just settling with the little guys. it was an awful choice, you could just tell she hated small children. when my class would start chatting during worktime, she would either stamp her foot or shout very abruptly from her desk for us to be quiet and it really caught everyone off guard. her temper was awful and she would often straight up refuse to help people when they came to her with questions, insisting it was their fault for “not listening to the instructions” or whatever, when in reality she was rushing through lessons and giving very vague explanations. i have severe anxiety. if i dont know exactly how someone wants something to be done, i will pry and pry and pry about it because i am deeply afraid of disappointing them. i require things to be perfect and will often have them guide me step by step to guarantee i do it exactly to their liking. i fear failure very deeply. so i often found myself on the receiving end of her shit attitude. sometimes i would just go sit at my table and cry. then i learned that i could completely skip this class by taking one of the paintbrushes and rubbing it on the back of my hand or forearm. i mustve had a mild allergy to something the brushes were made with, because it always gave me hives, which i would then use as an excuse to leave and spend that class in the nurses office. so this one day, teacher has us get started on some mothers day project since its coming up soon. people are talking, she does the whole song and dance of getting us to be quiet, back to work. but the table in the back just wont stop giggling about something. then she suddenly tells everyone to stop whatever we’re doing. shes got her hands on her head like she thinks shes going crazy. gets a stack of blank printer paper and starts passing them out. then, with her face in her hands, she tells us small children to draw ourselves jumping off of a cliff because “that was how we made her feel”. obviously the class just kinda sat in silence until time was up, but she would walk around and hover over some kids and ask why they werent doing what she told them to. i swear the boy across from me had tears in his eyes. no one was ever rude to her. no one ever really talked back, at least, no more than they did to their other teachers. this lady just had zero tolerance for kids who acted like kids. a lot of us told our parents when we got home and the lady got canned. apparently that wasnt the first time she had lashed out at a class in such an inappropriate way. i imagine she had gotten warnings before. sure, maybe we shouldnt have been talking, but it was a class of 7-8 year olds (i think)! what was she expecting? thats probably the rowdiest age group there is. i wont ever forget that woman. she had crazy in her eyes.

[@br3akstuff]

This story made me sad and I also relate because I was (and still am lol) an extremely anxious girl

[@Joseph.Talkowski]

This sort of stuff keeps me up at night. I can't believe someone like that can even get hired let alone be a problem for so long before getting fired. I was a very sensitive kid and was scared of angry or loud adults so imagining kids having to deal with that really hurts me. I don't know if I have what it takes to be a teacher but if I was I would love to be a primary school one and treat kids how I wanted to be treated as a kid because there's too many inept people teaching. If you ask me it's a job only for trained professionals who really wanna do it but demand is high, interest is low and pay is even lower. So schools don't really have a choice but to bring in whoever will do it.

[@VelvetAura]

I'm glad the kids got her fired because what the fuck

[@OmgItsTengu]

The spaghetti bird story is comedy gold

[@retaliaterguitar2]

These stories really take me back to when I was but a little homunculus myself

[@daniidanboy]

I couldnt stop laughing at imagining getting an expensive Alienware pc and unplugging it to just jump up and down and break it after a few days of having it

[@CrampleSmarf]

When I was 2 Oney rubbed my tummy a lot. Thanks OneyPlays!

[@tuffy1992]

Adam's stories are the best. I want him to come on more.

[@mythcat1273]

I love these stories because chris makes ireland look like it's some kind of land full of psychos and crazy characters like a Fallout location or the Borderlands universe