How Divorce Changed My Foster Care Journey: My Story and Lessons Learned

[@JuMixBoox]

This is only second hand information and also from a different country, but I do know of a couple with two very long term foster children who recently split and decided to go the nesting approach to shared custody, meaning they kept their old house where the children have their rooms and whoever is taking care of them is in the house with them while the other one is in another apartment that they also share by time. It definitely requires a lot of cooperation and an amicable split, but they decided it would be the best way to offer security to their kids and have them last affected. Keep in mind that they are permanent foster parents who have had both of their daughters from birth and, while being open about their other parents with them and doing frequent visitations with individual fathers, mothers and even grandparents for both, they very much view the girls as their kids, too.

[@EverySongEndsStudios]

I’ve heard of people doing that too (not necessarily with foster kids but biological children)

[@bonnieb7608]

I haven't watched much of YT in the last several months so this is news to me. I'm so sorry, Whitney, that you got divorced. I've been around since Sawyer was a little baby and I never thought you and John would get divorced.

[@margaretthym8234]

I wanted to say basically the same.

[@georgemclaughlin19]

​@@margaretthym8234 Same I haven't watched Whitney in ages

[@ellenjonasson94]

Same

[@sav-]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been watching on and off for years and I was caught by surprise! I hope you and your family are doing well through all of this.

[@cyndiparra7084]

I am so sorry to learn about your family changes, I know you did not enter the decision lightly. As always, your sharing so openly is appreciated. Continue self-care as you go forward!

[@kickdropacoin]

I can see the resilience and the pain in your face. You've been through a lot! I hope you're able to navigate all this and find your center in the whirlwind of it all. Foster care is hard, relationships are hard, parenting in general is a lot of work, it's a hard season, but it won't always be this hard.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I can’t like this comment enough ❤️❤️❤️

[@xjbgforeverx]

I have been watching you on KZbin for years and years. I had no idea you got divorced, I don’t use other social media really at all. I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending well wishes and good vibes!

[@candicecandies6651]

I want to share that my prayers are with you and your family! This channel was a tremendous support to me when I found myself in an emergency foster situation with a family member. Thank you for all that you do to support this community.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Appreciate the kind words and grateful the channel was able to support you through that time

[@suzannadannaTARDIS]

Whitney, you are so incredibly wise in how you not only dealt with what was happening with you personally, but in sharing the news with these fosters. It was good for them to see a strong, two parent household when they were with you in the past, but by communicating this to your former fosters, you're showing that even healthy relationships change and you adapt to the changes. By sharing such life experiences, you are communicating that life is not perfect - and that is okay. Sending you lots of hugs and telling you this: even when you don't feel strong - you truly ARE.

[@ashleyamanda8694]

Wow. I remember when you were pregnant with your boy. Time flew by. Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤

[@Pugs309]

Im sorry to hear about the divorce, i didnt see that comming. But i wish u both the best. Ur an amazing foster mom even through the ups abd downs.

[@ginger4023]

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the very best.❤

[@rpete967]

Thanks for sharing. As a new foster parent myself of less than 1 year, it's helpful hearing your thought process as you maneuver through the process and your life. I appreciate your honesty. It's not always sunshine and flowers.

[@doultondoll]

Seems crazy i have been watching for 5-6 years (i believe sawyer was tiny when i joined). Just wanted to say you have been an inspiration in my plan to adopt one day, and you remain an inspiration as you handle this new change with grace and maturity. Wishing you peace and happiness.

[@piarateking8094]

i think part of having a healthy relationship is also knowing when its not working out and when its time to make a change

[@LindaY26]

Showing good, healthy communication skills with foster teens while you’re going through such a tough life change is key. I’m glad you’re keeping your license open while you take time off. ❤️

[@itscamilleyo]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and open and also continuing to advocate for fosters. You are a truly special soul.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Thank you for acknowledging these particular attributes ❤️❤️❤️

[@lmauser8490]

I am so sad to hear about the divorce. My intro to your channel was through your husband's picker channel. It is awesome that you are still going to foster. Praying for you and your family.

[@maysmith4906]

What's the channel link?

[@Oliviab20]

I haven’t watched your family in a while. I’m so happy that you made it through! You’re strong! You got this!

[@SlowDancingWithYou]

Aww man. Im so sorry girl. Youve got this. Keep on truckin'

[@lgarner9524]

Whitney, you are a beautiful person and you don't deserve any of the negative things happening. You deserve better, and we have your back. No situation is perfect so we can always build towards a better situation. A year from now, I hope that you can find peace with your choices and their outcomes. All the best.

[@doseofhope3481]

Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Wishing you & your family lots of ❤️,😇& 🙏!!!

[@stephanieb3344]

Thank you for sharing your story ❤️

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Of course

[@kimminus2588]

Hey! Whitney.Keep going. You got this!❤💪

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🥰🥰🥰

[@dawnmardis79]

So sorry y’all divorced! 😢 I love watching both of your channels!

[@lesliesheppard6112]

Sending you all the love, support and healing.

[@AprilDavisPI]

Great video! Stay strong. Your viewers are with you. Thanks for your honesty. 🤗

[@dianabrown2258]

I had no idea you guys got divorced!! We are getting divorced too and unfortunately I think his parents opinion of foster care played a role 😢 I had to close my house but hope to open back up when I move to our next chapter ❤

[@mjcookieLOVE]

I'm sorry to hear about the separation. Sending love xx

[@maysmith4906]

Sending you lots of healing and happiness!

[@ryanm7249]

I’m very sorry to hear that you have gone through these difficulties. I hope things will get better for you and that you will find a way to make things work.

[@raquelv.9499]

I am so proud of you Whitney ❤

[@janetr9987]

You're amazing ❤❤❤ Take care of you

[@drbonnierice]

i would love to share. i fostered 7 kids as an unpatnered person and i adopted! trying so hard to grow my chsnnel.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Please DM me on Instagram? Or email me [e-mail]

[@kathygeare5002]

Beautifully done!

[@kelcro3333]

I haven't seen your posts in a long time. Sorry to hear about your divorce.

[@callabeth258]

While im sorry the last year has been so tough im glad that you felt supported by your agency and case team, i can imagine it would have been a lot harder if that wasn’t the case

[@fragilefleur]

Wow that’s a lot. You are doing all the right things to get through for all involved. Having been through divorce , it’s terribly draining and grief ridden. You guys at least being honest at a crossroads is the best and caring for your children is detrimental both birth and foster kids. I hope you are maintaining sobriety and able to carry this new load and feel ok to take a time off fostering to rebuild the foundation. Sounds like you are past some of that now or shakily based structure. Only time will sure that up and you are a kick a$$ woman and foster mom. Your passion for fostering is deep and your whole fam are taking on that passion. It’s not bad or wrong or selfish or anything anyone may tell you. I will be sending tons of good peaceful vibes to you and your kiddos and miss A who I know had to have taken a blow from that also. She is not the cause just so she knows nor is fostering. It’s always bigger and more complex than that. Please give her a hug and get one in my name and stand strong. Rest, and basic health and mental health is foundation and supporting the little ones you birthed as much as the fosters. One day and one fire to put out at a time. Lol. Know you are cared about and your passions are appreciated. I’ve been in a marriage where differences in kids and fosters was very much an issue so I feel you in this matter. No shade to your ex and I’m sure he’s an excellent dad but has a shift and differing priorities. The foster issue is usually symptom of other marriage issues so glad you guys are apart before it could harm any kids by feeling the discord too heavily. Hang in and do post how you yourself are doing and how you choose to progress. It’s a heavy load by yourself so temp care for now makes sense and smaller sib groups or solo kiddos at least for the first year post divorce which is always a big adjustment and grief process for all involved. You’ve got this life and please do get any support you need as things move forward. Always ask for help and know it’s ok to drop the non priorities during a crisis of life change/growth. Big fat hugs!

[@amyelizabethscraftcorner]

Very proud of you ❤

[@Thesingle_momlife]

I did respite for foster parents who were getting a divorce. The kids stayed with me at night foster dad would pick them up during the dad and foster mom would also get them a few days during the week. They had been fostering the children for 6 and 7 years and both were adopted them even though divorced. I just kept them into the divorce went through and cps could figure out the visit schedule. So they stayed with foster dad and get visits with foster mom.

[@watchmedo635]

thinking of you whitney ❤

[@angelsvintagetreasures]

Big HUGS, Whitney. I went through a divorce in the 90s when my kids were little. Now, sadly, my son is going through the same thing with his two littles under 3. It never gets easy. Wearing your oxygen mask is important!

[@cassiefriedman1446]

All my love ❤❤❤ to you sweetheart

[@HarperMcKenzie]

💜💜💜💜

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🥰🥰🥰

[@jotjoker]

Oh wow! Will your husband stop fostering after the divorce?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I will only be speaking for my journey moving forward.

[@hadgit60]

❤

[@MissLea922]

I have a question....when your fostering did you and your ex both have custody of the foster child or just you? When he moved out did he still help with fostering kids or was it all on you?

[@LivingForJesusMennoniteMom]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@koreighlee]

ok I am SAT!

[@amys5669]

Do you feel that fostering was part of the reason to separate/divorce?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I do not. Fostering is an added stressor in a relationship, yes. But I will clearly state that fostering was not related to this decision.

[@kristinesharp6286]

I’m having a hard time with the language. Permanent children, partner. Are people just in and out of the family unit? Is it really better to say permanent instead of bio and partner instead of ex husband?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

It is difficult when you are newly navigating inclusive language, I understand that. Permanent children - could be biological or adopted Partner - can be an ex spouse/husband/wife, or a non married long term partner

[@kristinesharp6286]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity then say adopted. Or just say my child. Every 20 years they change language. My kids and my foster child. The inclusive language just seems to make it more acceptable for the flow of people in and out. I’m sad that you are divorced and for him as well and hope you both happiness. My own kids is adopted. I remember the training. The new training my head would spin. Age I guess.

[@swimgirl24]

Language gets updated for a reason. The old words hurt people so it’s normally a positive for language to be updated. After awhile you get used to the new terms and you won’t even mind that they changed! ❤

[@kristinesharp6286]

@@swimgirl24 every 20 years the language that was changed to not hurt before is changed again. It just turns the people who adapted 20 years before to that generations lingo seem hurtful for using it in the present.

[@pastorwife]

❤