This is how family and friends can scam you, and what to do about it

[@leonidjoseph5483]

give what you can afford to loose. do not advertise your wealth. give as charity not as a debt. give once and usually they wont ask again. lastly always advertise your poverty.

[@deathmakesmoresense5354]

You want to be rich and anonymous , not rich and famous - naval

[@IMMahantesh]

Wise words. Thanks. Only a rich can pretend to be poor. Not in any insult but ya it saves us from lot of such loan situations and also makes us noticeably spending less on unnecessary things. Hey no show-off right ! 😅😋

[@leonidjoseph5483]

@@IMMahantesh every one is rich and poor at the same time. it is always relative to someone else. Like in traffic, there is always someone in front of you no matter how many vehicles you overtake. Every one stay safe and please wear 2 masks.

[@bikash31]

Thats what I always do, life is peaceful that way...

[@allahlesboslu2_9]

@@deathmakesmoresense5354 that makes much more sense

[@Navyguy]

⚡i remember a quote i read from a book, *if you want to lose a friend, lend him some money !*

[@TheKomentor]

I've done it quite a few times when I wanted to get rid of some of my "friends". I just make sure it is not too big an amount.

[@srijanhardy2624]

cannot agree more

[@CaptainLEVIasArkhamKnight]

In school I once lent Rs. 30 to a friend. When I asked him to repay me he made fun of me in front whole class and called me "kanjoos".

[@SanoopAI]

I lend 10k to my frend 4yrs back he never returned it. Infact asking for it is like I am purposely hurting him never lend to frends

[@shubhamjha3066]

@@CaptainLEVIasArkhamKnight i would have countered the situation by calling him bhikhari who didn't even have 30 rs 😂

[@chandan403]

My cousin cheated me this way. My father was cheated in a similar way by a friend, brother-in-law and by his very own brother. He was also cheated by a random stranger and his wife in a bank who held my father's leg and requested for monetary help to run their business. Simple rule - Never give money that you can't afford to loose.

[@aena5995]

My phopo did something similar i think but she is still in contact with my father , she took loans from EVERYONE in the damn fsmily to move to dubai and now she never returned emotional blackmail now even if they have to live on the road they would prefer dubai rather then a big house in pak even tho my DADA is ready to give her a bigass bungalow despite all she did 😐😐

[@yourblackstar19]

And if you give to relatives, know that you may never get it back.

[@aks7r]

How ur father's wife can dupe him she is also family

[@yashthakar9441]

Sometimes it is difficult to say No to very close friends and Family members but experience has taught me it is better to say No earlier before than spoiling relationship later.

[@sanky1211]

Yes the relationship will get spoiled more when they don't return the money as compared to when you say no.

[@sushantsrivastav]

Gem of a person sharing gems of wisdom.

[@IMMahantesh]

Agreed! 👍

[@Anujj444]

Tuje ek hi gem dikha hai kya apni life me. 😁

[@streetninja23]

My father always used to tell me that by lending money to Frnds u are ending ur relationship with them. After losing 3 lakhs in the past 10 years... I HV finally learned the lesson. P.s : Make it 04 lakhs.

[@subodh5890]

Learned lesson very late

[@streetninja23]

@@subodh5890 It's never late to learn.

[@aniss2596]

Well said by your father. also there is one more thing hard way . Never become Granteer to anyone for loan.

[@hnb193]

I lent some 40k to my friend to buy a car. He promised me to repay and instead lend me more when I buy a car. Practically this didn't happen. Had to repeatedly remind him. After a lot of talks and ruining the friendship I got my money back. That moment I promised never to lend money again. If it's a medical emergency then give what u can afford. Otherwise NO. A big NO

[@suyogkatekar8548]

well said brother

[@YourfavoriteHao]

As far as loyalty to friends or any closed ones go, helping them in need etc. I am someone who is very idealistic about loyalty and helping out. But as far as money goes, i draw a line,I almost never lend anyone money because i do not want our relationship to sour or quarrels to arise because of the money i lent... As i also have seen that this is what causes a lot of fights between people... So this is also my way of avoiding unwanted confrontations. I also try to keep and has been successful from borrowing from anyone for the most part, as it could become addictive in a way to do so... Idk why i wrote this but anyway just sharing i guess. 🙂

[@arpanmandal9578]

My father always tells me the same.....If you lend someone any amount of money consider it gone.

[@DragonStoneCreations]

I say to this myself

[@YoloLollipops]

Same! And I consider that so too, whenever I give money to friends, I think of it as charity or donation (not expecting any return).. but so far, it has been returned to me even though i didn't expect any return. (Guess my choice of friends is good).

[@TechnoTweet]

My father has given few lakhs of money to a friend without any receipt or paperwork. My father expired 4 years ago, that guy came to see us and when we asked for my fathers money as that time we were in real need of money, he didn't even gave 1 rupee , and he is missing now. As a personal advice to all, never ever give money to anyone , if you are giving then give like you are donating , don't expect it will come back again. Never give money without any security , NEVER even it ends the relation with that person it better to end it rather then giving the money.

[@aryanshrraghuwanshi]

When I calculated the money I've lend to my relatives and friends which is yet to be returned, it's around 10k. It immense for me, being 18yrs from middle class family. But I'm getting it back SLOWLY but with lot of stress and fights.

[@biltten5786]

Lost around 1 lakh but its good thing u learnt it 18

[@chetanraikwar3546]

I gave around 30k 🥺

[@thakurneerajsingh2731]

I just don't get it how people for only a small sum of money can betray their freinds similar case happened with me learned my lesson

[@kvineet631]

पुस्तकस्था तु या विद्या ,परहस्तगतं च धनम् | कार्यकाले समुत्तपन्ने न सा विद्या न तद् धनम् || This NCERT class 9th shlok tells you all you need to know about lending money.

[@shubhamjha3066]

@@kvineet631 what does it mean(

[@purvamandlik4696]

People who borrow money like this are also people who lie in other life situations. They are unscrupulous. They believe that if you are foolish enough to believe their lies, then you deserve to be fooled. They have no guilt. They may be superficial and charming. They may even have a separate set of people to swindle, and another set of people to impress. Beware of them.

[@subodh5890]

If they can scam friends. They will also be not loyal in relationship also.

[@rba9999]

Registering an FIR for willfully lent money is new for me. Always thought that there is nothing that can be done in court for such cases. Good Info!

[@yashthakar9441]

If there is Oral contract or even written trst evidence like SMS or whatsapp chats then it can be taken to court

[@AdityaKadamMechanical]

Maximum money I have lend someone is only maximum ₹300😂 My rule is never to give & to avoid begging later🙏🏼

[@parthpatel9602]

As i don't earn my limit is 100₹ 😂

[@TADA00X12]

@@parthpatel9602 Gimme 100rs :) I will return it tomorrow.

[@pravinsharmatheequitydesk]

😂😂😂​@@TADA00X12

[@ChandravijayAgrawal]

I lost around 6k in this type of fraud, and 4k in other type of fraud, but lesson learnt since then, its 2 years now

[@whatithinksingh]

This is my biggest regret. Lending money not only one i did more than 10 Times every time it's disaster. Biggest idiotic thing which is lending money

[@aayushi4048]

Great to see how fast this channel is growing. Following you since 1k followers. Feels so good to see you growing. You're gem of a person full of wisdom, knowledge and wiseness. And btw these information are very valuable. ☺️

[@deathmakesmoresense5354]

Always lend money from pessimist , they will never ask you to return it back

[@vivekgadhvi9972]

Lol

[@nidhin2940]

True. I gave my friend money for education purpose. She said she will return back in 3 months . But 2 years passed and she gave back nothing . But on the other hand I kept seeing her insta status and whatsaap status that she is going on vacations and going to movies. I got angry and I called her and yelled at her and scolded her . And luckily I had a voice clip that I recorded when I lent her money .so I told I will complaint to police. She came to my house and returned the entire amount. And we are not in touch after that day.

[@treeofbooks2173]

Good

[@gwagon3268]

😂

[@sinhaashish37]

One of my relatives he keeps asking for money from the well of cousins and siblings and pretends he needs the money for his basic necessities like house expenses and daily needs etc however his life style is very luxurious -buying brands ,drinking expensive booze ,holidays , buying high end gadgets and perfumes

[@ramakrishnasuresh4703]

Sir, . I have nothing to do with the law business but I look forward to seeing your new videos each time they appear. Very informative since it concerns issues we face in our daily like. Also love your presentation for its lucid delivery.

[@kvineet631]

One of my best friends (of 15+ years) had come across some cash a couple of years ago and was drinking and partying it away. I was just getting out of college, was already placed and was a bit short on funds for a project of mine. I asked him to lend me some money saying that he is going to drink it all up anyway, atleast some of it will be safe with me and once my job starts i'll return the money whenever he is in need and asks it back. He understood my point and lent me all the money required without even deciding a return date. In the next 7-8 months he asked for it in two installments and i gave it back over just a text message because the money was now sitting anyway and a trust of more than 15 years is too precious to throw away. Fast forward to a couple of months back and he calls me and asks for a rather large sum saying that he was looking after the construction of his house in his village and has used up some funds somewhere else (guess where). Now the roof is to be poured in in a few days and he is in dire need of funds, he said he'll return it in a month or so. Now my heart was bleeding to give him the money, when someone who's like a brother asks for help and you have the money you don't ask questions. But i denied him. I knew he had no means to return it, no job plus he is an entoxication specialist of very high caliber. And it most probably would've destroyed the friendship. So i gambled for a less worse outcome, I told him i've just brought bitcoins with most of my money and the rest was already said for another project. He got upset, reminded me of the time he lent me money, then went silent, left all the mutual groups and everything. Been more than two months but i am hopeful that he'll see through, realize that friendship is more precious than any money.🤞🏼 Sorry for the long post.

[@PrashantKg1996]

I just refer those guys to one of the apps which give instant loan 😂😂

[@yashthakar9441]

Very good Idea

[@suramyasingh4529]

Smart move!

[@doggosupasta8020]

Totla tiwari?

[@YoloLollipops]

Which apps?

[@shashankmongrel]

Bwahahah

[@walenikhil4311]

I learnt this by loosing Rs. 4600/- (2500+1000+1000+100) in total to 4 different people. Funny fact is that I knew while giving them the money that I am not going to get it back. True salt on wound is that those people think that you have some of tree that grows money on it. They don’t even care that I have borrowed some money from him, he helped me in my difficult time and I should repay his money. They just act like nothing has happened.

[@dennisthomas8755]

Thanks sir for making law comprehensive and understandable for layman, you are changing lives of youth in India..!

[@shuvamsingh702]

my father had once narrated to me how my grandfather was plundered of his wealth by his very own elder brother ... makes me kinda sad :(

[@larcm3]

In have been swindled two times by such fraudsters I was close to. They said they would return it in a month. It's been 3 years still nothing. I have learnt never to be honest about how much money you have or make. Always pretend like you are struggling even if you are rich.

[@friendlyatheist9589]

Haha we have such a relative who keeps asking for money and never return. Now as we asked him not come to my house again his family blame us that we are arrogant and pathetic people 😂

[@KrishAgrawal]

Exactly man, that's the main problem in this lending money system. They start spoling your social image

[@evilanime8722]

Same... But i guess this is common in india like if anyone member of the family progress more then other members becomes jeoulous and then they form group and accuse of aarogance😅

[@rudraanshkothari9403]

This is so freaking useful information for young people with no experience about this. Thank you sir for making me(a teenager) aware as well❤️

[@sinhaashish37]

Thanks for this wonderful video Biggest issue i face is with my clients specially of Delhi who do not pay after getting work done . Builders are mostly clients who do not pay after there work is done and our labors suffer and Builders act all aggressive. Despite Sending them Quotations and making them agree they go on back foot and harm Installers ,Vendors and Labours i wish there could be more strict laws applied on the construction industry and Builders specially of Delhi

[@vccv9785]

I never understood this. Why don't people just ask the other party to sign a legal bond/contract that the person will return the money on so and so date.

[@paulgodson798]

For couple of thousands nobody thinks for a bond.

[@vccv9785]

@@paulgodson798 why not though, the moment I ask for a bond nobody bothers me again.

[@subodh5890]

How do we prepare contract legally. What would be lawyer fees. Many are not aware about it.

[@vorrdegard2176]

With me everybody in my family and relatives know that I am a maha kanjus I even think 3 times before sharring a biscuit with my brother😁

[@cbazxy2697]

Better invest

[@GAURAV-xd1pi]

@@cbazxy2697 yeah better invest the biscuit 😹

[@cbazxy2697]

@@GAURAV-xd1pi yes, learnt the hard way😆

[@kirankamath5891]

@AKS what if situation arises where you need the money

[@Zero-fh3vs]

@AKS Having money in account is not a tough situation

[@poornimabisineer7436]

At least 3 people did this to me. Thanks for high lighting this and creating awareness for the public in a very simple, clear language

[@shubhamjha3066]

I've been in this situation , gave 500 rs to this person supposedly my best friend in a situation where i had to borrow this money from my mom to help him out (imagine the devotion i had in the friendship). I never asked for it and he never gave me back untill one day after almost 1 year i told him to give it back and he was so disappointed on me for taking it i mean world now a days.😂

[@khushipachauri2206]

Same happened with my family. A close relative asked for money and we lend it to him. Months passed and he didn't return it. Later we discovered he was into gambling, lost everything and now is in depression.

[@AG-pk9qo]

Sir, please make a video on the recent incident that happened in Agartala wherein the DC was seen clearly abusing his powers. Please tell us what a common can do in such cases, what is the due process and everything.

[@DrDoji]

U can do one thing: "chup chap nikal lo wahan se"

[@whatithinksingh]

If they don't have shame to ask money from you then you should not shame and shy to say no .

[@Dipeshgadiya]

But sometimes we have to still lent knowing the fact that it will not come back ...

[@l.waltermenezes8156]

It's very true. I learnt it the hard way! Unfortunately a few people duped me. I am careful now.

[@AnarshMusic]

Udhar ek jadoo hai, hum denge aap gayab ho jaoge

[@idkwhattonamemyself9326]

😂😂👌

[@niharikapasricha5346]

If exacting your own money was easy, banks and money lenders would not need goons

[@IMMahantesh]

😏🤔The dislikes must be of those scamsters and habitual offenders. Anyways. Sir, I am sure, You have spiked up interest in Law of many like in me. Thank you for educating us so clearly and calmly.

[@raghavagrawal9240]

Sir, we need a video on that Tripura DM .. Were his actions correct according to law? And If not, what could that family have done?

[@purvamandlik4696]

Yes. I would like to know too 🙏🏼

[@suvarnadiptiyogesh]

Be it friends or relatives.. no one returns money ..

[@physicskipaathshala9708]

Give money and give a date with mutual consent. And when the date goes past, screw such people with no mercy. Don't think that time that they are your best of friends or closest of relatives

[@blabberbaba5439]

Please enlighten as to how will you 'screw such people with no mercy' ?

[@physicskipaathshala9708]

@@blabberbaba5439 before this rule comes into action, a simple principle comes, neither give money nor take...no matter what

[@blabberbaba5439]

@@physicskipaathshala9708 Neither give money nor take money, this rule comes once you have lent money and lost it. Right? Proverbial saying, 'Once Bitten Twice Shy'.

[@ravinaahuja922]

Thanks for sharing Everyone goes through this They just suppress it normalizing that it happens

[@keshav7625]

Amish you are great advisor, I regularly watch your videos.I would really like you to make a video on what to do when corporate exploits you.You are required to sign papers because you need job but at the same time they keep on changing policies as per their will and leads workforce to suffer a alot because as employees one has lot of liabilities and they threaten on spoiling your background check.Please do make a video this would really be helpful for so many of people'

[@sachinporwal3522]

After a long time heard the old intro Loved it

[@reviewwithrathore1692]

Our very close mama,mausi,Chachi scammed us in similar way they are doing good but they never returned our money

[@srikarrao9957]

Teek hai. I'm not first. But I'm not gonna be Last🙏. One Request Teertha Yatra pe Jaake Bagwan Ko Stalk karna Bandh Karo🙏🙏

[@azharyete1245]

Well lending money to someone is always like a double edged sword...it all depends on the person, how well you know him, past experiences, his lifestyle etc..and if a person is genuinely in dire need of it, you have it and then also you if you don't give then I think it is very insensitive from your end....personally I am not very well of and sometimes you need money but thankfully my nature is such that I cannot sleep peacefully if I know I have someone's money with me..and I have borrowed a lot of time's from my friends but I have always returned them on the said date..it's like my salary gets debited at 7 pm and by 7.15 I am at that level where I was at 6.59 😅🤣...and although i have never lent someone huge sums but I personally feel very awkward to ask for my own money back..and I have also known people who took money and then later forgot and on top of that say haan diya hoga..I am like wtf...so next time you know whom not to lend...

[@rocky43683]

Hi Amish sir.. I request you to make a video on attack on doctors at work place.. As it's rampaging like any thing... Working environment is going bad to worst.. Want to know the legal rights.. Want to know how to tackle this situation.. How to deal the people who do verbal abuse and leave.... We are frustrated because of this daily stress and humiliation... As we don't have time to react these guys, they are just doing as they know that we will not give any retalliation. Pls educate....🙏

[@piyushtambe783]

Please make a video on rights & lawful alternatives to a family when a DM raids their marriage ceremony.

[@shaiq_shah]

I think i am so honest. A person accidentally sent me 2000 rs on my mpay then called me. I then sent him the money back.

[@themanunarayanan]

Similar, more troublesome issue when you sign for someone's guarantee at banks and other financial institutions. You can loose anything from your peace of mind to your total wealth.

[@vishnunair6802]

LOG KYA KAHENGE....But, who are these LOG ? As we grow, unfortunately we have to filter people.

[@surajkumar-pr8xu]

I just ask a bunch load of questions . Like a lot . And at the end they wont even ask .

[@pratapvalsangkar4511]

I have given money to my friend 4 years back and everytime I ask the answer is “next month pakka”.

[@subodh5890]

Yes

[@PARTHUPADHYAYBEC]

Sir you are a gem of a person sharing such important info for free

[@vivekmathapati206]

Hi Amish, by now you might be aware of how Tripura DM miss behaved with the common people. Can you please help us understand the IPC sections that he has mentioned in his viral video.

[@prempaharia468]

One question : If we go into a contract with someone then is our money safer that way??

[@GaganArora090]

If u r free to fight court case then u can ... alongwith money time and effort will also be used.

[@arunjayaraman7480]

Very true I also lost giving money to my best friends, relatives, maid but never got back.

[@saumyapratik]

Request you to make an episode on the event that happened in the marriage in Agartala where the DM is seen abusing his power, and the legal recourse available to the family

[@bombayboys1]

Sir, What you just said - I learnt it the hard way. 2 Swindlers are still returning my money :)

[@ironmanavengerss4959]

Please make video on tripura marriage. The way district magistrate hitting people and rudely talking with family member's and jailed who ever asked him question.

[@HimanshuGarjola]

Whenever you lend large sums of money, you should always keep some jewellery or papers of property or of vehicle for that matter and you'll always get your money back.

[@rohithreddy75]

Its better to not give money unless he's your Close friend

[@rohan9869]

Loan given to family and friends should be considered as bad debt. And should be written off in a few years.

[@arjunmrao4039]

Nice Video Sir.. Thank You..

[@shah_123]

One of my relative has met a business family and became family friends on a trip. They partied very often after that. When his daughter graduated, they gifted her an expensive necklace. After 2 weeks, they asked for 10 lacks as loan for few days time. That's it, now 2 years passed, no return and they became bitter enemies.

[@BhaveshSinghBhanucsgo]

One night... On road a wagonr car was broke down may be.. I stopped cause the driver was waving hand ... He asked for some money for petrol ..n a person was bringing petrol to him.. and he had only keypad mobile with him.. n told me when he will reach home he will give me back.. so in the flow of humanity i gave him 500RS and never got them back.. I called him many times .. but no use everytime they just give an excuse... And now i only give money to those whom i have very much trust over them... 👍🙏... First build up trust with them... Otherwise no need of giving them

[@bagchisoahum]

How to save the older generation (Parents/grandparents) from religious cults?

[@indianstatushere2038]

SIR MAKE A VIDEO ON YOUR OPINION REGARDING THE DISTRICT MAGISTRATE WHO BEAT PEOPLE IN THE MARRIAGE HALL DURING CURFEW

[@megsarna7429]

This is common, rich relatives ask for loan & promise to give back double or even ten times.

[@71gaurav]

Sometime its very hard to say no. so what i do is i tell them i dont have that much money, but i have this lil money which is very insignificant and usually, they never return and nor they able to get the courage to ask again. By doing this that person can never say I never helped him , nor he asked for that much money which can worry me.

[@divakarvyas7573]

if possible, can you create these videos in Hindi or maybe mix of Hindi & English in 70:30 ratio. your selection of topic is quite impressive.

[@saktiprasadswain6546]

Nope.. English is good..if sir want,he can make separate hindi channel... because of English he is getting audience all over India

[@LP-bf9oe]

Why would you want to have a mixed language video when you know both the languages?

[@ishaluniya6783]

Lost a huge amount of money ....Learnt now to not trust anyone and give them

[@rensochangankery4160]

This person is doing a great service

[@Shiv-vb1re]

Amish sir in my colony there is a family who is beating there neighbor they even they even tear the neighbor women clothes 3 years have passed in courts nothing has been done can you please give some advice for the family ?

[@hiteshadhikari]

Lended money to a friend in 2019, the time he said he wanted it for was 2 days max as it was a payment i did on his behalf. He said his payment is late and next morning or max in 2 days i will be paid back. 2.5 years now. Haven't seen 1/5 of the money back. Dont think he cant pay me, he had done this ponzi scheme with multiple people and he had to repay me that minor part of sum to save himself at that moment Never helping such people again ever

[@youtubeking2686]

My brother used to do this. Would borrow money from me and never return it back. We can say no to friends but it is difficult to refuse relatives.

[@alexabraham9035]

Good soul. Value for viewers. Keep rocking.

[@sachinporwal3522]

Great video Thank you so much Amish Sir

[@captainleslee8779]

True ,one guy I knew u use to do it very shamless liars.

[@jalajdurve]

3:50 sir even i have borrowed money and returned it. How does it account for ponzi scheme?

[@anon9566]

sir make a video on Tripura case, can a dm behave like this?

[@your_owl]

If bank to bank transactions done it can be recovered if the amount is given to the exact person. If you ask me its better to not lend money to relatives instead donate them how much money you can. Giving loan and asking return cause family fight and lead to family breakdowns.

[@TheRamiro234]

If you lend money to someone, make sure you can afford to lose it. Especially family.....

[@nishjhony]

What about a promissory note on a stamp paper?

[@SharkFishSF]

I think it's legit.

[@apurvavpatil]

Still a big No

[@aryandubey2608]

You’re such a great impromptu orator🙏🏻🙌🏻 Sir, Please take out your time and make a video on Self defense from police personnels

[@traderatheart3138]

Sometimes i fell sorry for my dad he lends money to every one and trusts every one what should i do i am only 18 , i advice him to not lend money to any one these scammers are worst my dad nearly lost around 50 lakhs rupees and 61 bhari gold .. ahh.. felling so sad Today one brother ( neighbour ) came and burrowed 20k Guys please ignore this i am just not in the good mood so kind of expressed it My silly dad .. . Sigh

[@treeofbooks2173]

There is no lack of such silly dads.

[@nikhilgadade2461]

Thanks sir, for covering the most important yet undermined subject of personal finance...

[@karanshukla6564]

1st rule- nvr lend money if don't hve a muscle to extort back. 2nd rule-nvr lend money

[@sreedhar75perupally]

Sir you are 💯% right. I personally experienced these problems.

[@Sh1vam18]

The quality of content is really informative, keep it up bro

[@shubham5832]

I'm not earning yet but when I start I will never ever lend money to family and friends unless they are in need really. Recovery of that money takes a toll on the relationship. It does almost all times.

[@vorrdegard2176]

Have a limit don't go beyond that regardless of the situation unless life and death

[@shaikthegangsta]

My friends asked me for money... telling he ll give interest...i denied

[@avdhutchavan3044]

I intentionally lend some money to my friends only to check if they return it back w/o asking for it. This way I get to know who they are and how they work.

[@Johnvalkyre]

My neighbor borrowed money from my mom told will return within a week now its been 6 months

[@Gaurav.Gumaste]

Your expression when you say liiitle sum of money is priceless 😄

[@aravindp9974]

Next time when my friends and relatives asks money, i will just share this video to them first as a disclaimer and then reject firmly😇✌️ Very helpfull and educative. Thank you sir🙏😇

[@shubhamjha3066]

Savage 😂😂

[@megsarna7429]

Well don't say no to 100/200 rs loan

[@npassuser]

What we Indians can't do is saying "No" We always try to give reasoning behind every no What we should learn is firmly saying no, without providing a reason, or saying "because I don't want to". Thats a reason in itself. Also goes the other way, if someone says no stop asking them for a reason and making them feel guilty.