The "Stay at Home Girlfriend" TikTok Trend is Toxic (and why women should make their own money)

[@ghostly7139]

I would argue that no matter how much you trust your bf, you need a job. Maybe he will never cheat, leave and he is willing and able to provide for you. Okay, so what happens if 10 years down the line he get's in accident that will prevent him from working? Who will cover the medical bills, utilities and rent? How will you be the one supporting your bf when your resume has only your high school diploma on it? Getting a job protects BOTH partners. No matter how much you trust your bf, you can't know if someone is going to pass away suddenly etc

[@sanahasnain]

Exactly, women and almost all people basically need to be be financially literate and be able to support themselves at any given time

[@TEWMUCH]

Then u go get a job.

[@VV15555]

Insurance?

[@boujee_bridget]

But you can also just start your own company you don’t always need a job y’all need to find better alternatives other than obsessing over jobs

[@kaydkaydkayd]

⁠@@boujee_bridgetstarting ur own company IS a job literally what r u on

[@MissFunkyJuice]

Loved the points you made. I would also add that the influencers making "Stay at Home Girlfriend" content are, in fact, working : they are creating content, getting viewership & engagement by taking an unpopular side in this controversial topic in the hopes of getting money, sponsorships and enough popularity to become a whole brand themselves. They are being hypocritical & tricking impressionable people, to whom they will probably be selling products. It's just another marketing tactic tbh. The best we can do is explain that to younger people.

[@bfbmain]

Absolutely! It’s a facade, for the most part

[@DanniBby]

Being a stay at home girlfriend doesn’t mean you can’t make your own money

[@5050TM]

​@@DanniBby Yes. The caveat they should always add is working from home.

[@TEWMUCH]

Exactly. Stay at home girlfriends AND wives both can still work and bring in money. Also maintaining the home is work.

[@BurningRubber454]

@@bfbmainholy crap the projection in this video

[@MSG12361]

This is exactly the very point that even my father, a South Asian muslim man, has always encouraged for me and my sisters. Doesn't matter if your spouse/partner makes a ton of money for the both of you it's imperative that women have money set aside for themselves (and for their kids if there are any in the picture). It's empowering for women to earn and manage their own money, and education ties into this as well so that women are aware of their rights and learn how to be smart with their finances. It's also beneficial to men to have a partner who has their own money too and can ultimately help to strengthen the couple's bond and rapport. It's a shame how in some ways I feel like our western society is regressing into practices/mentalities that we know to be dangerous while in other parts of the world there are countries still fighting to break out of those practices/mentalities😔Keep up the great work, Yusra! 👏🤗

[@ynat2198]

Because our dads (desi, muslim) finally realize that their sons arent sht and the only people who'll be there for them are their daughters. So i don't think they even care if we get married anymore as long as we have an education a and a job. At least that's how my dad is. They know now at their age desi man are useless🙃

[@bfbmain]

This comment is everything! ❤️💕

[@charlottediedrick6952]

Making your own money is a very good point. My aunt married a very very rich boy right out of college. They were on and off during college and her family wasn’t completely sure of him at the time because he was full on trust fund baby. She got her teaching degree and got a job, but when they got married, he said that he would pay for the house, the bills, and groceries, etc… everything like that. And he said that any money she made from her job would be hers. She could save it spend it or whatever. She wouldn’t have to because he could pay for anything, but they both wanted her to have that freedom and independence. They had two kids and like 30 years later are still happy.

[@findingmyself2446]

Your aunt was lucky to find such an amazing man ! ✨

[@dyaonna]

❤

[@toriyt2714]

I work in a very male dominated occupation. Men all around me. All the men that are married their wives either don’t work or if they do it’s their money to do what they want for themselves and the kids. But the men pay all the bills.

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

The part that makes you know he's not trying to trap her is that he didn't try to force her to not work and didn't want her to not have any money.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

I wouldn’t think it’s all sunshine and rainbows just yet, but it’s nice that your aunt is able to work and she isn’t confined to the home.

[@acd1168]

It's very dangerous. I grew up seeing women who are still married because they cannot afford to leave. My mother is one of them. I know I could never just stay home and let a man take care of me financially. But that's only because I don't trust that he would in the longterm. Great video!

[@madelinerodriguez116]

I agree with you on that. Women of the past were not protected and it wasn’t common sometimes even if they where married. However I think now and days if you are legally married and a stay at home wife you should make sure that you have that legal protection in place. It’s not extremely hard to get a prenup or get life insurance or health insurance. If the man you choose to be stay at home wife for can afford to take care of you and the child he should be able to have that in line till whatever you both agree is a reasonable thing to stop them from the money flow. At the end of the day at stay at home mother is a harder worker than most it takes a lot to be with your kids 24/7 and to go above and beyond like that. We are paying other people to do our jobs so why not get paid with the support of the father. Now I don’t believe in stay at home girlfriend shit. There’s 0 laws and things in place to protect you and these people aren’t doing anything worth the stay at home stuff. When you’re a wife you have responsibility towards your marriage children home and god. So it’s only dangerous to be stay at home wife today if you don’t think about it smartly. 100% agree that stay at home girl friend is frightening and stupid.

[@acd1168]

@@madelinerodriguez116 Yea it’s the girlfriend part of it that scary. As someone who has been discarded in previous relationships before, I wouldn’t do it.

[@madelinerodriguez116]

@@acd1168 exactly

[@BarresiNewYork]

Same thing. It ran rampant in my own family

[@acd1168]

@@richardhughes8352 You can bring value to a relationship but some men will still discard you eventually, Richard.

[@meganchambers8108]

I think if you are going to be a stay-at-home mom/housewife, you need to be VERY VERY SECURE in your relationship, partnership, and love between you and your husband. VERY secure. Any woman who has an inkling of "I'll do this and if I do it well and keep him happy then he'll stick around" is already set up for disaster...

[@winsteila]

and money stashed away / alimony in case shit goes south

[@Fallendown45]

I was a stay at home mum the kicker is this however lovely your partner is they don't understand you do a lot more when you are at home. My friends who were on maternity leave just were waiting to go back to work because staying at home was exhausting and boring at the same time . I was recently telling my husband I did 2 jobs while staying at home- looking after the kids and the house that's 2 separate jobs. You won't ask your housekeeper to babysit on the same salary. But most of all I felt unproductive.. I love my kids and glad I stayed home for them but I wished I could have done something more.. I volunteered during that time though.. The girls should do that.. How will you not be bored out of your mind..

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

Very secure = your own account with regular deposits PLUS strong insurance

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@BeautifulEarthJa Yep, doesn’t matter if you and your man are very much in love. Love will never equal security. Pre-nup, secret account, and money of your own are our security measures.

[@HeduAI]

"No matter how many kilojoules of feminine energy I radiate ..." - as an engineer, I lost it there :,D

[@bfbmain]

😁❤️

[@mel-dg2vr]

All of my female ancestors never had access to education. Their whole lives depended on men. They were absolutely trapped. I'm not going back to that miserable lifestyle.

[@juliansoto2651]

Fun fact: Nobody had access to education, not even men 🤯

[@rahma6992]

​@@juliansoto2651 so we're just saying anything now 💀

[@juliansoto2651]

@@rahma6992 debunk me then

[@rahma6992]

@@juliansoto2651 who attended schools and universities prior to the 1920's? no one? We don't even need to ''debunk" this cus u know u sound like ur on something very strong lmao

[@angel-dn6ym]

@@juliansoto2651 You don't even know which culture she is from. Some cultures really don't let girls go to school. Maybe it's true from her background.

[@starsign0805]

I know a lady who got married super early and in a few years her husband become physically violent and dangerous. She somehow got out of that relationship but after that she had no clue how to earn money for herself and her kids. The only skills she had were cooking and cleaning and so all she could do was cook food at other people's houses and she went through an incredibly tough time. It is VERY important to have skills that you can sell to sustain your life.

[@ottitudes1991]

"instead of blaming feminism, blame capitalism" 👏👏👏👏

[@painalmighty1017]

No its feminism let's continue to blame feminism

[@angelicasmodel]

Capitalism is either the cause or obstacle of many inequity issues.

[@jgp7414]

Honestly, capitalism is the only thing limiting this from happening even more.

[@talkingtochapri]

​@@painalmighty1017Cope, but it's capitalism. Feminism wouldn't have existed if there wasn't any inequality. And people are working to pay their bills 🤡

[@careforjusticealways]

feminism dragged us into a capitalist society that were already not respected in. I support women’s rights but be fucking fr.

[@belleweather4693]

I was a "stay at home girlfriend" for a number of years- not because I'm rich, I'm not, I was just lucky enough to have a partner who loved me enough to see me through a period of being disabled due to illness. We got through it and I'm working again okay, though I was also fortunate to find a good job and flexible boss. It is dangerous and it was never the permanent plan. It was really hard to get back into my industry.

[@Summerkillens]

BTW, it's wild how society makes women feel bad for wanting to make our own money.

[@omaralkayal7598]

How? When women literally get hired sometimes to fill in diversity quota's and achieve company goals yata yata yata no one is making you feel bad no one is stopping you if you wanted go for it in fact they encourage women to work and not stay at home

[@winsteila]

@@omaralkayal7598 we’re literally told we aren’t wife material or masculine if we want to be working women.

[@Summerkillens]

@@omaralkayal7598 yea my statement went all the way up, through, and over your head Mr. Sir

[@Summerkillens]

@@winsteila thanks for helping him get it

[@vimanaarchitects2151]

No,it's opposite.The society wants you to work as hell and do house chores and be 50/50. Where do you see men want tp provide? They all want you work harder than them AAAAND maintain a house,children and cooking and cleaning.

[@varun009]

Guy here: 1. It's always a good sign when a girl sincerely insists on paying for her half of a meal. The kind of women that expect you to do pay will never value your efforts. 2. When women get into the habit of paying for their share, it's a LOT EASIER to say no to a guy. Takes a lot of the pressure off. 3. Financial stability is essential for EVERYONE. This stay at home girlfriend bs is only for people that are either insanely rich or insecure enough to sacrifice financial security for their own sense of self worth. These dudes just want a servant. I've been in their circles and listened to their shir podcasts. These are hurt, insecure dudes who have had it bad with women whether it's a string of shitty relationships or a nasty divorce. At no point do they prioritise the intelligence and interests of the people they wanna date. The shit people will do to avoid therapy.

[@bfbmain]

Interesting to hear the guy’s perspective on this. Thanks for watching!

[@destroyraiden]

If men want women to pay half of all stuff then they also need to lay down the label of provider and stop using that as a weapon on everything. He can't elevate himself with that card if she's paying half of the same stuff.

[@varun009]

@@destroyraiden you'll find that most men are aggreable to this arrangement.

[@annakarina8417]

Men can be provider and don't expect his woman to be a servant. I saw this many times. It is not common in Europe but possible. While 50-50 marriages are mostly miserable, with women totally tired.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@varun009 This is not true. They’ll agree to the arrangement, but still expect women to do the majority or even all of the housework and child rearing. Do not say that you’ll lay down the label of “provider” if you don’t mean it. We all know 50/50 for men is 70/30 to 80/20.doing 30 to 20 is no longer acceptable to us.

[@faizasusan5865]

This TikTok propaganda is beyond dangerous. I’m south Asian Muslim and my parents always emphasized to my sisters and I the importance of working hard and making our money cause we’ve seen and know many women who had to live at the whims of men around her. My own grandmother who was a stay at home mom who had 6 kids was abandoned by my grandfather and had to struggle to raise my father and his siblings on her own with just teaching kids to recite Quran and sew. This was in Pakistan but even still. It’s beyond insidious how this propaganda is spreading now especially when a lot of us enjoy the products of the efforts of feminism such as having your own bank accounts etc; I don’t want to ever live off a man whose attentions can easily be swayed. Esp in south Asian culture, where there’s so many horrific stories that happens to women, so many I’ve heard and seen among my friends and family, this propaganda terrifies me. Women, have your own money. Love can go, money and autonomy doesn’t. And I 100% agree- it’s really capitalism to blame not feminism! Lord knows I’d rather not wake up to work but it’s always choosing that versus depending on a man who can drop me like that.

[@CyanideAlert_]

Love this analysis. I had been in a relationship with a conservative person back in the day And he told me that I'm clouded by "feminist views" for thinking that all women should work and have jobs. He needed a traditional wife (nothing wrong with that) but how is she ever going to feel secure and independent? She'll be hesitant to speak up against him and will not have the control as you mentioned. Knew i had to leave him right then

[@Lolzadoodle8484]

The stay at home girlfriend trend and prevalence of women leaving their jobs to be stay at home moms (in a society where that's not paid labor) highlights the tragic loss of community we have experienced, too. Being a stay-at-home anything is extremely lonely in this day and age. It's not like the past, when people lived in multigenerational, multifamily homes (which was also mostly afforded to the rich) and stay at home moms and wives had each other to socialize with. That system in itself was flawed in the same ways a relationship dynamic like that is for a nuclear family. But these women don't even have the benefit of community. The choice to step back and live a soft life (until you're expected to be a 24/7 mother with no assistance from a husband who might as well never see his kids for the little he contributes) wouldn't be nearly as detrimental if household labor (like motherhood/primary parenthood) was paid. However, we don't live in such a blissful world.

[@angelicasmodel]

Re less community, I noticed this a bit as a stay at home parent. I had a really good mothers group when my little one was born, but once most of them returned to paid work, it became impossible to keep seeing them. I don't want to make it sound like I'm lonely, because I'm not, but my community shrank once the standard maternity leave periods ended. And this is in a country where we have decent parental leave. It would be worse if that weren't the case.

[@Summerkillens]

first off, how the hell is the first girl a "married girlfriend"? yall, make it make sense lol

[@sudeeptasukhi5436]

Honestly I was confused too but then I saw that she said that macdonalds was fancy, I realize it was a parody of the actual trend.

[@Summerkillens]

@@sudeeptasukhi5436 make sense, lol

[@Ivabobeana]

A lot of those "people" buying houses cash are actually businesses that are renting out houses. When housing becomes a commodity it can hurt people in poverty and the working class. Tip for selling your house. Sell it to a PERON or a FAMILY. Money is money, cash or not you will get it when selling. Keep the rich from buying our houses!

[@Ivabobeana]

Great Video btw ! Women and young girls need financial independence. My dad told me growing up you don't ever want to count on someone else. People get divorced and you need to be able to hold your own.

[@labumtum]

Perhaps we should also have laws against people from other countries buying more than one house in the U.S many times the companies that buy up a bunch of houses for rent are from asian countries. Also I like your point but gotta add that an alp cash offer means the money is available right away and can be moved around. The nicer moral decision is to go with families but the smarter financial decision is go with cash

[@ayeshazzz_]

A very thorough analysis and really good advice!! I do wish that modern-day society would stop criticising stay at home mothers as being "non-feminists" or pitiful creatures because they don't feed into the capitalist "girlboss" agenda that is sold to us all now. How women should join men in the 40hr work-week and pretending that it's possible to raise children, work full-time, run a house and stay healthy all at once? It's hustle culture again. We should be dismantling this system instead. We have to start acknowledging the unpaid, unrecognised domestic labour of housewives. They are RAISING human beings!! and should receive state welfare and rights for that. We are all worth more than our economic productivity! The stay-at-home gf thing is just a whole other risky extreme.

[@PrincessTiona]

I agree

[@Highpriestess1126]

Tbh, even stay at home wives is a risky business. I have immense respect for those who do, but I think it’s best to have a mid-ground. Stay-at-home mothers should give themselves the chance to explore what kind of work they could do, so that they have a choice to join the workforce or not. I used to teach in college and a mother of two teenagers joined my course. She was very sincere but found herself struggling to manage home and studies mid-way through the course. I remember her breaking down in front of me, and I motivated her really hard to complete the course and not give up. I do believe that conversation changed her life. She not only completed the program, but did it well. And I then got her to assist me and even trained her as a visiting faculty. She looks up to me to this day and works part-time. She’s doesn’t need to, as her husband is extremely rich. But it helps her creatively. Women should definitely give themselves the choice to work or not, and it’s good to keep brushing up skills lest one is left really under qualified to join the workforce.

[@findingmyself2446]

Love to see another brown girl spitting facts. As a brown girl myself coming from a family with no generational wealth, I really can't afford to just stay at home being a GF. Making a career of my own, having a financial security before and after marrying is important. Even though, I would love to have a provider husband, but still asking for money continuously for him would be embarrassing for me. I don't want my identity to just be being a mom/wife but something more than that

[@Women-hate-me]

this is my brown victim card

[@sakura.8138]

This is exactly what my thought process is.

[@poornahaque5658]

its crazy for me to see this trend. I dont come from generational wealth but I come from a rich mom. She made bossbitch money in a muslim patriarchal country where she wasnt muslim or a man. she worked her ASS off (and of course she had to support of my father) but every single achievement was hers. Both of my parents made money but they themselves came from nothing so they had lots of responsibilities towards their extended family. I have seen from extended family members where the women sadly was the stay at home wife and how shitty their lives were because they didnt come from generational wealth. The number one thing my mom ever taught me was do not ever let a man even be in the position where they could say "my house, my car, my bla bla bla" because even with the best of men, when push comes to shove, will remind you whose paying for their lifestyle. Seeing my mom make her own wealth and buy her own luxurious lifestyle made me realize there is NOTHING more satisfying than financial freedom. This stay at home girlfriend shit has no space for people like us that come from other cultures esp south asian (im saying south asian because thats what i am familiar with but could apply to other POC). and it boils my blood that girls aspire to be this when financial freedom is something we should be promoting.

[@poornahaque5658]

sorry about the rant lol

[@bfbmain]

Yes, absolutely this! 💯

[@transitionsnc]

I completely agree with this. All the best to you.

[@TheRoseAlchemist]

Whats funny is these young ladies don't realize, they are playing possible Russian Roulette with their futures. The main thing being a lot of shallow guys dump these gals for "newer models" when they hit 30+. All because they are "too old" or "boring" among other things. Then these women who are used to being cared for, have no skill sets or anything to fall back on. They are left destitute, and there is also the possible potential of all kinds of abuse within the relationship Financial, physical, emotional or mental. Its honestly too stacked in one sides favor, it might be ok in the short term. But long term, I doubt it could be sustainable.

[@jesslynwijaya29]

Hi! Thank you so much, your viewpoints make me feel so validated. I’m a typical eldest daughter - high achiever, being trusted on many things growing up, in charge of younger sibling, etc. So I haven’t always been used to simply waiting and receiving. With ideas like these spoken by very many people online - that we need to be more ‘feminine’, that we need to sit back and take less charge, I’ve been feeling sort of misplaced, like that isn’t that applicable. Your viewpoints made me feel understood - there’s no regret in being a girl or woman who proactively does something for her life or people she care about around her. With circumstances, it all might have been crucial, and because we actually did do things, good things happened, we grow. And it always lets a deep feeling of accomplishment and self-respect grow within, knowing that we have it in us to steer ourselves to where we’d like to be.

[@jomr4249]

That seems like a very boring life. Cool that you can be lazy and not have to work. But then you’re not doing anything with your life or contributing …and you’re not even married so you’re not building anything in your life and the boyfriend could ditch you at any moment and you’d have nothing.

[@officiallykayanna]

great perspective. with that tiktok trend, we are seeing women getting set up for all the world to see. it is not safe but foolish! also there seems to be a racial element. i feel that as a black women, we have no room for error and so since we are in the era where Andrew Tate and Tristan tate is influencing men, we cannot trust these dudes out here to stay true and not betray you. the singer Dolly Parton even said that even though she been married nearly 40 years, she still keeps a weekend back ready packed to go in a corner 😂

[@gambler-ey2kn]

Everything we see is the battle of extremes, high career girl vs 'stay at home'. Why? Because of clicks, normal people get the least of the attention. Who would click on an average employed girl, who has a normal family, and does not make a cult of her lifestyle

[@DominikaDonchinka]

I was living with my boyfriend for 8 years and hoooly shit I never wanted to be dependent on him.. in no way!, And I don’t wanna be dependent on anyone or anything 😊

[@Drizella9]

I’m a stay at home girlfriend who spent most their life taking care of their wheel chair bound alcoholic mother and little sister, I have ptsd, and am autistic. I know that when people makes videos like this they aren’t talking about people like me but I still struggle to remind myself that this isn’t about me. But these videos always makes me feel defensive but then I know I’m not the lazy rich bitch they are talking about but someone who’s trying to fight for their life to heal. Idk I worked my whole life till my boyfriend gave me a chance to heal and be free for the first time in my life. I didn’t have a childhood and without being able to stay at home I would be traumatized while working feeling like I never got a chance to rest and be okay because if I don’t work I’m not enough.

[@angelicasmodel]

I do home duties too due to chronic illness. We're not what's being talked about here. Financial security when ill or disabled is another issue entirely.

[@talesofnightmares13]

I stay at home to because I'm disabled.

[@wrenguitar2813]

Just to provide a counterpoint to the generational wealth point you made. My GF is a stay at home gf, we met senior year of high school and we had to go through the wringer. We started by living in a single bedroom at my parents house, then multiple apartments, I worked at a McDonald’s and she worked as a receptionist. Finally I finished school and became a software engineer, she had been working so hard for so long the least I could do was to let her relax and pursue her hobbies. I don’t expect her to cook, dress-up, clean, or do anything but relax. It’s an expression of my appreciation for all her support when we had no money. But yea no generational wealth here. (Also for people commenting, she’s not stuck she can go back to work whenever she feels like it, I offered her the option to stay home and she took it)

[@snapdragon9386]

the only thing that you have proven is that you are developing and moving forward while your girlfriend is stuck in one place. not a very healthy relationship dynamics.

[@tubby6007]

This is cute, nevermind what others say

[@danibaie]

That's so sweet. She's on a sabbatical

[@ongakira]

@@snapdragon9386 exactly. i don’t think ppl are grasping the point that she (video creator) was trying to make lol

[@bask65]

@@snapdragon9386 Except his point was on the generational wealth and she has a choice.

[@maishachowdhury1993]

Just discovered your channel from the love is blind video and as a fellow brown girl - please keep uploading! Your content is really so refreshing! Much love from London

[@bfbmain]

Thank you so much! :)

[@jellyrolly]

With the amount of emotionally unstable young men increasing, this looks like the worst idea one can come up with. Unless you are spoiled by your parents and never need to worry about money, never believe that men will stay loyal to you forever. Men are not taught to sacrifice for their family like women are, so once they realise that they aren’t in love with you, they will leave the relationship. If you have a kid with him…even more disaster. You can’t even make him pay for child support unless you guys were legally married in most countries. And even if they are required to pay child support, many men either don’t pay in time or don’t give a damn.

[@Amberrechelle]

Generational wealth is another term for " African Channel Slave Money"...... that is all lol I LOVE this channel.

[@bluespagirl1]

Loving your proud and smart brown girl energy ~ subbed after 3 vids. Thanks for sharing 🌹

[@menijna]

Being stay at home mom/wife/girlfriend is essentially putting your wellbeing,future and money in a man. Its stupid, like investing everything in one company is stupid. And I don't want to hear about "my kids need me", girl, your kids need financial security first and foremost. Don't even @ me bc I am right.

[@taylogan4957]

Just came to say I’m not wealthy nor is my partner. I am a stay at home gf and have been for about a year now. It’s uncomfortable for me and I’d honestly much rather be working, so I’m going back to school to get my own personal income. Being in a relationship like this is dangerous because I myself do not come from old money, so if someone I’m not married to decides to take everything I’ve grown comfortable with - that’s an enormous risk. It’s a giant gamble if you don’t have anything to fall back on. Which is what I personally believe sways young women into escorting and exotic dancing. Edit: I am mixed race so white privileged only partially applies here. This is what I disagree with. I’m from an area with more Arabic, Indian and black people than most states. I observe more generational wealth with these communities.

[@jay_vee96]

As a sahm, I would get whatever job I can because I know nothing last forever sadly

[@elainealibrandi6364]

If it were a stay at home boyfriend, he would be considered a loser and a deadbeat. I can't believe I have to ask this after all these decades, but why the low expectations for women?

[@aurorials2414]

I always wonder, what if they break up, how is the girl going to get money if she didn't work and was dependent on the man? Isn't it more gratifying to have your own money and being successful on your own? I would never in a million years give up on my career.

[@elainealibrandi6364]

@@aurorials2414 Me, either. But it doesn’t seem like these women have much ambition or a career to give up.

[@GoddessLifestyleTV]

Who ever said that a stay at home mom can’t make her own money as well? We just allow the man to do the providing. We still have and make our own money 😅

[@TiktokTownhall]

My male friend told me he cheated on his “stay at home GF” in the bed they shared bc it was HIS apartment and HE paid for everything

[@omaralkayal7598]

Regarding Saudi women, they are actually rapidly increasing in numbers in the workplace in almost all industries

[@Elena-rt9yu]

Kept woman, don’t sugar coat it, when he is bored, he will kick her to the curb, also called escorts, ready to service their men, when they get home

[@mikehank2896]

People have already commented my point of this being a marketing facade really well, btw your killing this, keep going!

[@julebierwagen840]

I don't think every single woman out there NEEDS to make money. You just have to be smart with it. You can totally be a stay at home girlfriend if you want to. Just make sure you have some sort of graduation that you can work with if anything goes wrong. Also I'm a 23 year old white woman from germany and things over here are very different. I mostly see brown women staying at home apperently for cultural reasons. The white women in my country are the ones hustling and trying to survive

[@annakarina8417]

So why brown women can stay home and live I guess comfortable, while white women are pushed to hustle outside of home, while having kids (or wanting to have kids). I see this is a thing in almost all Europe, especially in the West Europe. In US there are a lot of stay at home wifes/mom's, especially at south or like in video stay at home gf..

[@julebierwagen840]

@@annakarina8417 I don't think it's just about white women being pushed to hustle. To a certain extend, yes. On the other hand you just can't live comfortably in this day and age anymore with only one income and I really don't know how brown families manage it. Maybe the husbands work some very high paying job? Idk. However both me and my boyfriend work very hard in our average paying jobs and let me tell you there is barely a penny left in the end of the month after paying rent and attempting to buy as much food as we would actually need to be full. We're mostly surviving off of rice and pasta at this point because that's one of the cheapest things you can go for and feel full quickly. The income doesn't match the cost of living anymore. It is super hard to make ends meat and I understand why a bunch of young people are depressed nowadays

[@annakarina8417]

@@julebierwagen840 I totally understand. It's difficult, because of shitty economy in Europe. But yes, brown, Arab women marry mostly guys who make enough to survive on one income. Other brown women prefer to live modest life than to go to work. Look, now you have a bf who can't make enough money to buy you healthy food. How do you image your life when you will get pregnant? Even as accident. Men from a Europe will not step up if women will settle for rice and pasta at the end of the month. I would prefer to live with my parents at 40, 50 than with men who I struggle that much.

[@julebierwagen840]

@@annakarina8417 wow that just went in a complete opposite direction than I expected it to go. I can see you're coming from a place of genuine concern but some people have reasons for not living with their parents and I'd rather sleep under a bridge than live with mine. Also we're still young and have plenty of time to get where we want to be. You can't just expect someone to be perfect right from the beginning and if you do then you have to ask yourself: are you perfect? Cause only if you are are you allowed to put those high expectations on your partner. And I can assure you you're not because we're humans and humans aren't meant to be perfect. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years at this point and there were better times too. Love is about going through the good, the bad and the ugly, together and still supporting each other throughout everything. If you love them you stay and you grow together and build a comfortable living together. You can't just leave when life gets rough, it's unfair especially if your partner works hard and supports you in every other way. Love has way more depth and layers to it. Also if you're smart you don't get pregnant if you don't want to

[@Greeneyedgeny7]

I think that it’s important if they are a stay at home wife they stay informed and on all bank accounts, have their name on the properties as well etc. Im for the most part a stay at home wife but I have control over the business, our accounts, etc. And I make money on the side that I keep in my savings

[@pupu416]

I always love your commentary! I found you quite recently, and you make interesting points

[@carriesnaps3508]

I have to admit that when I first heard about this "trend", I didn't think that there was anything wrong with it. If there's women out there whose partners could afford for them to live such a peaceful lifestyle, then good for them. I mean, as someone with social anxiety and dysthymia, the idea of not having to engage in a stressful workplace seems VERY appealing. But you made me realize that there's so many factors that I previously hadn't consider: from race, class, power dynamics, etc. It really is a fantasy. And one that majority of women in the world can't afford (me included). I'm sure most (if not all) of the girlfriends currently in this position come from wealthy families, but in case they don't - I hope they have a back-up plan in case things don't work out.

[@shezaltiwari2008]

"Stay at home wife/gf' contain creater are not just stay at home person she is a contain creator... Contain creator does earn a lot plz do not forget that...

[@vishidoesart]

You are so Underrated!

[@nikitag8378]

I feel like there should be a balance between the two. We should be allowed to be in our feminine energy at times and other times we take control when required. The thing with South Asian women is that we are SO used to just taking care of ourselves and the whole world that we feel uncomfortable taken care of. We should allow ourselves to also let go sometimes. But a stay at home girlfriend? Nah, you need to make your own money.

[@melteddarkchocolate000]

I like the idea of traditionalism and I do would love the favor or option of being a housewife. But I would entirely agree to that if I had a family of my own. Though I don't believe it's solely rich women who has the option to stay home, my friend is the exact opposite when it came to her husband (plus you have poor women who have Sugar daddies to support them), I won't pretend that that is the reality for homestay girlfriends is that they have generational wealth and access to find successful men. While the regular working class colored women doesn't have that. Plus staying at home 24/7 is BORING. I'm at the moment jobless living with my dad and my sister. They are working while I'm job hunting and though they are willing to take me to places and support me while searching for a job I still find it miserable to be at home not doing anything that's productive or impactful for my life. Plus most of the women I know in my family were miserable housewife's, they have to escape and work themsleves up to the best career position job they are in now. Look how the table turns.

[@conflictpersona8]

Smh it's wild when you divorce these rich men they really do seem to be like ok run and fend for yourself it's savage. I give so much respect for stay at home moms they are very much in a precarious situation. And agreed it's smart to continue you making money on your own at all times.

[@causegalissopretty]

I absolutely agree with her. If being a stay at home mom / gf is what you want to do then go ahead but for the sake of god pls do not depend on a man without learning how to survive on your own first. Independence is the ability to sustain on your own which is absolutely necessary for a guy or a girl . Reality check: the only person in this world who would never leave your side is YOU. thats it. so remember you owe it to yourself to be independent and skillful on ur own. life is not rainbows and fantasies and unfortunately being dependent on someone will give them the power to exploit you and guess what most people absolutely will . thats why our ancestors fought 200 years for us to have the means to become independent, so atleast develop some skills or backup plans

[@walterigo4400]

She will never be a stay-at-home girlfriend. Because she is worried about power dynamics.

[@user-dn6xe8jh4y]

thank you. i wasnt able to dissect this on my own. but was still affected by this.

[@andrea_0707]

i think one of the issue is we become too identified with one thing or the other, and social media is amplifying both extremes. This labels are useful to describe what phases we might be in in our life but the thing is we might see “stay at home girlfriend” all over our pages one day and “i’m a strong independent woman” trends the next finding ourselves pursuing one extreme or the other. nothing wrong with having career goals or aspiring to be a wife or a mother. it’s not always black and white. the problem is that we get stuck in this one thing because we glamorize it one day only to find out that there’s pros and cons on both ends and it’s a matter of choice and what one feels is right for one’s own circumstances. i think that might be a flaw in romanticizing our life or maybe we’re actually romanticizing what we identify with, and i think that’s worth questioning to really see that our choices aren’t rooted from trends but because it’s what feels right. so stay at home girlfriend and strong independent stuff or whatever else, it’s nice we get to see all these type of roles and nothing really wrong with it, it’s just i feel we might be glamorizing the “identity” rather than living our being. maybe it’s useful to see the quality that these roles/identities might hold not to get ourselves stuck with it but to be able to find the qualities that might help us support our wellbeing and life and freedom in whatever phase we are in in our life.

[@chelscara]

1:53 why do the “morning routine” these people do always remind me of dystopian novel introductions?.?

[@evildoesnotsleep-x2b]

i'm with you and how crazy is it that we still have to say 'don't depend on a man' in 2023?

[@alyxxa6182]

And what about depending on your boss?

[@swethlanasaraswat5936]

I don't understand why these stay at home partners feel the need to be dependent though. Like, do you just want a safety net and feel cared for? That's cool. But why are they laying all their eggs in one basket? Make your own money. No need to contribute in the household bills, just keep it to yourself just in case something goes wrong in your relationship and you need to get the f out???

[@bask65]

Making smoothies all day. starbucks would pay you.

[@Angelbean777]

There was this chick in the “soft life” video the same creator made a few months later LITERALLY showing herself putting a eggs in and egg basket and literally humble bragging about how she doesn’t work and just does cute “house wife” things around the house like “putting some eggs in this cute egg basket so we have more eggs for the morning” I’m not joking 😂

[@zsp16]

It should have been mentioned even if women do work, they’re still expected to take care of majority of the household chores and childcare. Plus prenups can be negotiated before marriage that if there is a divorce you can have a conversation of what percentage of support as the ex-wife you’re entitled to. It’s all about working smart and not just working hard. And some women know how to work the system and are thriving

[@esikazemese]

Thank you for this video! Especially highlighting the social differences and location differences. I couldn't agree more. And stay at home mom's should also consider their husband dying. Because as sad as that sounds, it is a possibility!

[@Erintii]

I am white and my white Grandma and Mon told me to have my degree and job to pay my bills. They also told me never ever rely on men and never ever get close to men richer/from higher class. Have a job and stay with similiar ppl.

[@jocel8888]

Agreed, I’d love the soft life but alas. But girl….you’re beautiful!

[@conniekitty5121]

I hope SAGF save some money

[@austere_kore]

I used to follow Ana Bey. Unlike today's stay at home gf she's very practical. She talked about how it's important to have a some sort of financial backup. Like in the form of jewelleries and having a freelancing kind of job at least. And how it's important to get engaged and get married within a year later. She would promote this soft life but won't be impractical. Also, she would say that if you're not working then at least learn new skills and do something from home that makes you some fortune

[@avarosalia4309]

I lived this twice and I can tell you it is not what it is painted out to be. Especially since it felt like a trap particularly my last relationship when my boyfriend would spoil tf out of me. We ended the relationship due to his family issues because in this case unfortunately I was not only going to marry him I was also marrying his dysfunctional family and naaah miss me with that. I think it would be a good conversation to talk about how in laws will make or break your relationship most especially if you are solely dependent on your partner’s family income.

[@thisaintbia]

Hi! Just wanted to say that I came across your channel today and have been watching a few videos. I think you're pretty brilliant and I'm shocked you don't have more subscribers. New one today!

[@rakishachijane02]

Am all for your life your choice but am against this trend specifically because they don't talk about being secure themselves in anyway , my aunt was the same she was promised marriage so she didn't pursue a higher education despite having the means did the work of wife got played cause he married a working woman kept her as a side and 23 years later she can't date anyone else ,has no money ,no job ,no connections and can't leave cause he works in government and has the power to end her ,she eats and drinks all day and they have two kids 😮‍💨

[@noeliamartin1498]

As a Spaniard I can tell that all this class and races differences are way bigger into the States than my country. We are hardly middle-poor class no matter what race we are😅 the majority of us can't afford to pay a rent on our own

[@annakarina8417]

Eastern European here and its the same in my country. Most people can't even rent apartment on their own or get mortgage for apartment/house. It's just too expensive for most. Stay at home wife and living from one salary as family is consider luxury.

[@marysteacups]

"eat goji berries all day" had me cracking up 😂😂😂

[@kbnseya9146]

Great points made !!

[@HS-lv3is]

8:35 preach! It's not worth it at all

[@holisticmaya]

super interesting and well done.

[@camillasmith2116]

Everybody can opt out like I just floated in the wind after the pandemic living at my boyfriends house and I was 18 years old. I still got money though I went to the strip club by twice but that’s about it. it’s definitely not a good lifestyle because I couldn’t afford like basic things but that’s the cost

[@nicolewashington6069]

Great video and you made perfect points.

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

So yes. I agree that a combination of race and class impacts those who could even be able to be stay at home wives. However my mom stayed at home to raise me when I was a kid. It was a good arrangement and my parents lived happiest that way Eventually they did divorce. But it wasn’t bc of her being a stay at home wife. I’m black so clearly I don’t fit the stereotype. I also know black women who have the option to work and choose not to. Does this mean they sit at home all day? No. Quite the opposite Reality check - women who stay at home are house managers. They have people who help clean and manage the home, but the wife is fully in charge of the family social calendar. She’s the backbone of the family and is not confined to her home responsibilities. She can’t be, not when she has to teach her kids and secure good schooling + create opportunities for the kid to do well via charities and engagements for her husband’s career. It’s a job on its own My point is - these women do labor. They aren’t always paid for it though. And yes, a lot of the women have secure finances before they enter into marriage and iron clad pre/post nuptial agreements that penalize the husband for cheating if he does. Trust me, not everyone is dumb out here. As with anything, gotta be smart and leverage what you have in your arsenal. Marriage is a negotiation so get the best deal possible with a man who loves you. Never rest on your laurels and be willing to leave if it doesn’t work

[@mrs6017]

lmao snds like a sugar daddy and baby situation more like.

[@SR-mv2mf]

Stay at home gf???, NO.

[@General_Bowser_Media]

it is a class thing cause my parents don't have generational wealth More or less generational poverty and my family is white and Cherokee and i have had divorced parents it was hard for my mental health seeing my parents divorced so in my other opinion is that both partners should work to keep meaning in their lives

[@Susieque963]

Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is even after all of your points. At the end of the day these women are adults and are plenty capable of making their own life choices. Even if things end up going astray all of the women seemed very young. Plenty young enough to start a new career. We just need to let people make their own choices and be happy for them. It doesn’t mean you can’t bring up the possible risks, but at the end of the day it’s THEIR life. They will be the only one to pay the consequence or reap the benefits. I’ll be happy for a stay-at-home girlfriend or a working 70 hours a week woman. On a side note, one thing that really struck me was how negatively you viewed generational wealth or people who have a family for support if things get hard for them. Isn’t that something you’d like to create for your own family? I grew up very poor and one of my main goals is to create a secure enough lifestyle to support my family and make my children’s life easier.

[@you-fg1nl]

yes i am loving her i was going to subcribe but lol i already was a subscriber and i forgot

[@HappyTraditionalWife]

Most women live above their means..so it’s not very reasonable for entitlement women. It’s a skill not a privilege to be a SAHM. As a wife everything is 50/50, but a gf 🤔

[@madvillainy6845]

Nah Im putting her to work. Whether she stays at home or not.

[@crystalglopez91623]

You got scarcity mindset .. look for all the good men and they will come, if that man wants to invest in you ask him to purchase a rental property in your name so you can stay home and take care of him. Better yet Get married .. if he wants you to sign a prenup.. do it and add that you get more than half if you get proof of infidelity. Etc..

[@clytemnestra]

where is the today show clip just before the 10 minute mark from? interested in the full story lol

[@arundathirose7563]

Mumma who was a house wife lets say this she hated it no one respected her despite her and she worked really hard but no one appreciated it because they thought Oh here husband provides for her and said to me never put yourself in a position where you have to extend your hand for some money its humiliating so I'm earning for myself.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

Only.. Fans.. there’s always a way out.

[@babymoon555]

Your dress (top) is cool!

[@bfbmain]

Thank you! :)

[@meghadwivedi4016]

You are dope girl keep going 🔥🔥

[@JTheSharklady]

I think one thing was not highlighted or maybe I missed it. Part of the “job” for these is women is to stay attractive. Workout, healthy eating. If I were them I would use the money and time to learn, languages, skills, maybe a degree. And charity. How can be someone content with meditation+facial for years? I would die😹 but to each of their own..

[@lisalee3067]

If you believe this I have some swamp land to sell cheap.

[@Totallyxmoody]

I took all of them as a joke, like they were poking fun at themselves for not having a lot going on or that they were white lieing, like that first chick in the start of the video is married and makes content for a living. I do think young girls can get confused by this type of content but I'm sure 90% of these stay at home gfs are just playing around

[@kam.kam.]

You know what?? I’m not mad at the girls profiting off of young beauty. If they have the opportunity and can be at home marinating in beauty treatments and their lover’s money…cool. The world we are in supports fruit of the flesh. Now on the other side…what does it profit a man to gain the world and lose their soul??

[@aishamuse3271]

I'm waiting for love is blind recap 😁

[@batonrouge6446]

Married girlfriend? smh

[@sadiemakesmesmile]

I’m white and have been in survival mode my whole life. I’ve also seen women of many colours be the stay at home girlfriend… or just soft life KZbinrs. I agree that it’s rich people and everybody else. I don’t know why you had to make it about race, it hurts all of us. For eg. People always assume I had it easy when I actually grew up in poverty in Eastern Europe and was moved around so much when I was young I cannot connect to people now. If you really want to win the class war, all races will have to unite, sorry to break it to you, and this isn’t helping.

[@sadiemakesmesmile]

Otherwise the video was great 👌🏼 really enjoyed it and most of it is true ❤

[@Leah-xz8zv]

@@sadiemakesmesmile In America specifically because of slavery and other racist discrimination almost all generational wealth is accumulated and hoarded by upper class white families which she explained in the video. That creates a very distinct and important racial dynamic in regards to class. From a historical standpoint class has almost always been about race especially when you look at modern day imperialism which has resulted in the impovrishment of primarily non white people. It's not surprising that person who grew up in a continent mostly comprised of white ethno states would think like this though.

[@bask65]

"this isn’t helping"

[@vimanaarchitects2151]

WTF? Have you seen the richest people in the World list? 80% are Whites. Most rich people countries are White.Most rich people are White. Nobody told there are no White poor people.But there are more rich White people than other colour people.THAT'S FACT

[@TEWMUCH]

Wow, i didn't know stay at home girlfriend was a thing. I thought it was just me! It's not totally on purpose tho. I apply for full time jobs, i just havent gotten one. I work on an as needed basis, so it's part time at best. I want to work more. It just hasnt happened for me yet, and my boyfriend supports me. I dont come from generational wealth. Just know some people arent doing it intentionally. Also when i cut back my hours, it was to take a class to start a new career. Not just to make drinks. Please stop with the black-white thing. Im black!😂

[@Someone-dq4zt]

Idk it’s their lives as long as they’re not saying other woman have to do it to let them decide for themselves it’s their lives they’re not hurting anyone

[@Angelbean777]

I truly think she’s trying to look out for other women. She’s not saying you can’t live with a bf/partner, just to have money just incase something happens. Something awful just happened to my friend a month ago: she was living with her bf and he kicked her out/wouldn’t even give her time to prepare to move out. Thank god she has her own income. She air bnb for a month and finally found a new place.

[@palwashaymughal1383]

What is the name of the video you put as an example on the 10 min mark?

[@jeremiahkisimba5938]

Facts ❤❤❤❤

[@thecoolintroverttv8381]

New sub❤