He's 40 trying to date a 17 year old?! Age gap relationships are kinda gross.

[@toriyt2714]

The thing that I never hear mentioned is how you are guaranteed to be a nurse or widow later down the line when you’re still at a pretty good age.

[@bfbmain]

Very valid point!

[@lain5858]

They never say the truth. Every time i see a woman getting married with a much older dude i already see a future Young nurse with no sexual life 😂

[@acd1168]

So true

[@GreyGrim]

I can see why jerry seinfield dated her, she was bad as fk LMAO

[@tajr.2650]

Don’t become a hospice wife.

[@starstar_sstkn]

Bro I just turned 24 and I wouldn’t date myself when I was 20…. It’s a completely different mental level and the fact that people still date younger where mental compatibility is obviously not the same just points to what they ARE dating for… it’s awful

[@lain5858]

Just wait until you are 30. You will see 25 years old as babies 😅

[@evildoesnotsleep-x2b]

Not "kinda gross", fully predatory gross

[@lander77477]

what is predatory about 2 legal age adults in a consensual relationship?

[@poluv9898]

​@@lander77477I literally answered you and you still bother to ask everybody else. Are you one of those predator?

[@merlinsreturn]

I'm so glad that women are speaking up. It's so true about the power dynamic. Grooming isnt always about force. It's about POWER.

[@britneybij3997]

If something that is considered "traditional" isn't being done as often anymore, it's probably for very obvious reasons. Besides, sometimes tradition is just peer pressure from dead people 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@qest6889]

no listening to the living nvm the dead

[@StefanTaf]

Well said

[@sofia_o.]

This topic always reminds me of that okcupid chart, the men always wanted the younger women. Men in their 40s 50s wanting relationships with 21 years olds. While the women wanted men around their age ickkk

[@lander77477]

The vast majority of men are attracted to women in their prime age range, which is objectively about 18 to 25. Generally because women in that age range are happier, more optimistic, less cynical. They are also more feminine, less masculine, less bossy and are far more biologically able to have children, if starting a family is important to the man, and less likely to have emotional baggage, or children from another man, and of course physically more attractive, with more time on their clock to remain that way.

[@olganova3058]

​@@lander77477no dude, it's your fellow incels bs

[@IndigoBellyDance]

When I was in my late 20’s /early 30’s dudes in their 50’s & 60’s were always trying to get w/me ….. yuck

[@artbygilik]

@@olganova3058we found the red pill bro. He’s commenting on other comments here too. I see men like that all over women’s videos on KZbin. They love to defend and justify their pervy mindset and create arguments on this topic.

[@nicolesherman8974]

She’s back!

[@bfbmain]

🩷❤️🩷

[@theodoravellum4589]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years; we met when I was 37 and he was 52. We both agree that the fact that he was 35 when I was 20 is gross and we don’t talk about it. A 15 year age gap when the younger party is in their 30s is a different thing than when the younger party is 20.

[@bfbmain]

Exactly this, the age at which the relationship begins is critical!

[@sajanim-h9b]

This is something most people dont understand... a 30 something dating a 50 something is different from a 20 something dating a 40 something

[@esikazemese]

Exactly! Two grownups can do whatever they want. When one of them watched the other one growing up as a child into a teenager/young adult and then start dating them... that's disgusting.

[@NotThatDeep]

I’m so happy you’re back. This was a great video!!

[@bfbmain]

❤️🩷❤️

[@ExoticalT369]

As a woman, I attract men who are much younger than I am. Am I flattered? Yep! Do I date them? Nope! 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@sharranjami]

Hey! Welcome back. Hope you are well and great topic.

[@scratchjohnson4636]

7:13 I love how Lehmiller recognizes that people's personal histories play into their negative opinions on age gaps, and yet the only example of this he can think of is just "woman jealous." like, did it cross his mind for one minute that maybe some of us have _been_ the younger partner in an age gap relationship and have experienced the coercive dynamics that come with it firsthand? it's honestly kind of wild how quickly he's leaping to recategorize valid apprehension as jealousy and insecurity, and maybe I'm wrong, but the impulse seems to have a bit of a sexist lean to it as well.

[@bfbmain]

This!!! 💯

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

They made the same deduction when women were complaining about trad-wives as if the ones complaining weren’t also made of former trad-wives who had bad experiences.

[@kjhuang]

He never said that wasn't a possibility. Are you seriously nitpicking him for not giving the example you would've given?

[@scratchjohnson4636]

@@kjhuang yup! if he's so quick to dismiss the concerns around age gaps as "imagined" inequality (what people are actually voicing disapproval of), in favor of his narrative of a jealous straw-woman _he made up in his head_ , I think he deserves some criticism for not presenting arguments against age gaps honestly and in good faith. for someone who complains about people's overactive imaginations, he should try listening to what people are actually complaining about instead of pulling pages from his creative writing journal.

[@sarahela6009]

Hello Yusra, so happy to watch your new essay video! Hope you are recovering well and having a wonderful time with your little angels :) Love The Tudors, was such an amazing show! The whole series is good but I agree with you that Ann Boleyn's storyline was definitely the best!

[@So-and-So-em8fx]

I was shocked to see the Seinfeld one, googled it and saw a disgusting reddit post agreeing with what Seinfield done 🤮

[@soniasun1]

Thank goodness that you are back :)

[@esikazemese]

Everyone in abusive relationships also say they are happy - at least sometimes. So sorry if I don't believe them :D PS: The Tutors was GREAT! :D

[@nila5767]

Glad to have you back💗💗

[@sheilac3836]

I think 19 years old is the oldest Anthony has ever dated. He wrote a song Scar Tissue for the 14 yr old he was with……

[@qest6889]

too common societal decline

[@bfbmain]

Major yikes! 😟

[@anthill1510]

@@qest6889 No, it´s not societal decline. We actually have come a long way for that to be LESS common and accepted now than it has been in history.

[@lander77477]

@@qest6889 how does 2 adults in a consensual loving relationship show any societal decline?

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@lander77477 A 18 year old is legally an adult, but mentally far from it. Let’s be so fr about that.

[@joane24]

When my parents were 40, my _younger_ sister was 17.

[@betsywilliamsonasmr]

I’m 43 and young men hit on me or ask for my number regularly. If I am old enough to be your mom I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. What am I going to do with you. I am childfree. I don’t want to date someone and turn into a parental figure. Yikes.

[@dantayhylton9938]

The podcast bros made it look okay to date younger too.

[@artbygilik]

There’s one of them in this comment section, which is not even shocking.

[@dantayhylton9938]

@@artbygilik I know right!!!! I love men in my age group, dating older men is very uncomfortable 😐 😕.

[@artbygilik]

@ I’m in my forties now and I don’t even find men my age appealing at this point. They say that older women have too much trauma and baggage. We have higher standard because men caused us trauma and baggage when we were younger and didn’t know better. Honestly, my mental health and well being improved so much since I made the decision to stay single and celibate. I have few platonic male friends in my life who are good respectful guys and have do not treat me like a disposable piece of meat, but it’s good to educate yourself on manipulation and red flags and keep an eye out for them. I wish I knew in my twenties what I know now about men.

[@dantayhylton9938]

@@artbygilik I completely understand

[@poluv9898]

The ARE gross, not kinda

[@lander77477]

whats gross about 2 legal age adults in a consensual relationship?

[@poluv9898]

​​@@lander77477if this "legal age" adult just turn to legal age it's gross. The differences in experiences, maturity and brain development is huge and just predatory

[@lander77477]

@@poluv9898 the definition of a predator is "a person who ruthlessly exploits others". if the woman is legal age, she can make her own decisions, and its their own private business

[@lolatiffhur]

There’s a valid reason she’s used the word “kinda”. you’re not the audience, the audience are the ones who think it’s alright to do such a thing. so it’s trying to unnormalise it

[@lander77477]

@@poluv9898 just because a man was born at an earlier time, does not mean he is out to harm anyone

[@qest6889]

she's back

[@DrustZapat]

Great video! Thanks for making it 😊

[@omgitsreyz]

Yes!!! She’s back ❤

[@luciadreaming9]

I think a lot of it comes down to experience and how the people meet too.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

It didn’t matter. A man in his 40’s has no reason to be with a 18 year old. Now if a 30+ year old with someone older, I can understand your pov.

[@luciadreaming9]

@ oh I’m not endorsing that by any means. There’s also no way in hell an 18 year old can have as much lived experience as a 40 year old.

[@camiba6773]

I also think that it is the girl too because these young ones will defend dating a man that is clearly her grand father age thereby normalizing this. Then call older adults jealous because she is 20 dating a 65 year old man. It is so annoying. I am like sis you do you but please stop thinking that shit is normal. Btw nobody is jealous of you dating your great grand father.

[@saskiabaclanova]

It's very stoopiddddd when men call women jealous of other women who are dating men that they don't even find attractive. For real , I mean no woman wants Bill Bilcheck. Yet men are calling other women jealous for judging his 48 year age difference with his 24 year old gf. That's hysterical . I can guarantee you that 90% of women don't want him. And the 10% that are interested are just interested for his money.. yet men are calling women bitter over it. Nobody cares ..they just really want women to have low self esteem. And men love making other men jealous. That's why they show off these young girls like this. They have such a big ego , that they date girls younger than their own children.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Yes, they both play a part. Though, tbf. The girl is doing it cuz she lacks experience and is immature. Not an excuse just an explanation cuz these girls usually wake up in their 30’s or 40’s when the relationship is no longer fun and she’s no more than a caregiver to an old man with a diaper on 😅. Then they complain and tell girls not to do what they did, but those girls are also too immature to understand.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Yes, they both play a part. Though, tbf. The girl is doing it cuz she lacks experience and is immature. Not an excuse just an explanation cuz these girls usually wake up in their 30’s or 40’s when the relationship is no longer fun and she’s no more than a caregiver to an old man with a diaper on 😅. Then they tell girls not to do what they did, but those girls are also too immature to understand.

[@inprogress9757]

WE ARE SO BACK

[@cranny5237]

The girls date older man are actually trying to get movie roles. The easiest way to get movie roles is to marry a producer or studio executive.

[@WynnWynn-gl3fk]

Join 4b!

[@StefanTaf]

💞💞💞

[@acd1168]

She’s baaaaaaaaaack! 🙌🏾🎉😊 Edit: I really like The Tudors. I watched it. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is an awesome actor.

[@bfbmain]

❤️🩷❤️

[@ceceliataylor84]

I agree the Tudors was great and Bridgerton S3 was awful. I would also suggest you watch Anne of the Thousand Days (1969) about Anne and H8th, very good!!

[@xxxxOS]

We dont have the ability for long term decision making until around 25+ on average. So yeah, its true that you aren't walking around with a full tool set until 25. You dont have the same abilities as someone 25+

[@lander77477]

and yet, an 18 year can vote, drive a car, get a tattoo, doesn't need parental consent, can join the military, can baby sit, can have a job, can get a loan, get a credit card, and yet for whatever reason, we have a problem with them choosing their own partner

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Even at 25 people are still immature and don’t have a full tool set. All 25 means is your brain has finished developing. Most people say they didn’t feel like an adult till their 30’s and that’s because you don’t mentally stop maturing until you’re in your 30’s. Thats why there’s a difference between 25 and 30 mentally.

[@lander77477]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 when 2 people are legal age, its their private business

[@kjhuang]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 Then raise the legal age of adulthood to 40 and be done with it.

[@tree_eats]

Sorry but you don't develop the ability for long term decision making at all.

[@kjhuang]

14:17 Henry VIII did have a male heir, Edward VI. It was Edward who didn't have a male heir.

[@lunamiku4166]

I am not defending any diddlers out there but I'd say some of the older person definitely forgot their age and still think that they are young (not all but definitely some)

[@lisachao5304]

Enjoyed the content, but NYC? You sound Albertan! 🇨🇦

[@lolatiffhur]

The average person has a kid in their late 20s to mid 30s. Halfway is 15 years of age of 30. There’s no reason for anyone to be with anyone 15 years older or younger than them. That’s being generous and the outside edge of age. 5 years age difference should be max. as a teen you should only have a gf/bf in the same grade level

[@manosijroy8282]

I turned 24(male) just 3 days ago and I can't even imagine dating someone 18 and my age preference for dating is 20-30 age range so is 20 as minimum reasonable for someone 24? Is 20 and 24 or even 21 and 24 still considered bad?

[@YTonYahoo]

Your hangups are your own. That doesn't give you the right to tell other people what they should or shouldn't do with their bodies.

[@morjana679]

I loved season 3. but the season 2. of Bridgerton was very boring

[@atomic66]

Sienfeld is gross. So is mr dion

[@kjhuang]

I never understood this need to interject oneself into someone else's relationship. They're the ones going through it and experiencing those feelings, not you. How can someone presume to tell another person that they're not actually in love with someone just because they're much younger than them? If this is really such a problem, raise the age of adulthood to 25 - and do it consistently for *all* matters. Or I guess continue with this judicial tribunal for approving other people's relationships.

[@yaisa111]

Leonardo is 50. just sayn. 😬🙄

[@Mtv20O1]

I guess a controversial take is that I personally think anyone above 21 can date whoever they want. They are grown adults and can decide who they want to date, etc. I don’t think we should be infantilizing them as if they are 15 or 16 years old. Anything under 18 is a big no.

[@saskiabaclanova]

Lol , thanks for confirming my point about the law being the only thing that stops them from dating under 18. If the law said 15 , most of these men would be very happy. There's men who love to look at 15 and even travel to other countries becoz 16 is legal. The law is the only things that stop these men and there's even men who aren't afraid to say it... 🫠 "the law , the law " oh will you all grow up already and see the truth for what it is. Plenty of people breaking it.

[@Naurrrrrrrrr]

typical male always tryna make a exuse

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

21 is legally an adult, but mentally isn’t even close. You’re brain doesn’t stop developing till 25, and most people don’t mature till 30. Believe what you want but to think a 21 year old is peak maturity is laughable. Teens and early 20’s is prime for bad decision making. I’m assuming you’re around that age to think that cuz once you get to 30 you see that 20’s isn’t even close to being mature.

[@kjhuang]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 Speak for yourself. I did just fine in my early 20s.

[@kjhuang]

Your "controversial take" is that adults should be treated as adults. I know, crazy right??? You're totally right of course, but good luck finding anyone else here who will agree with you. In this day and age it's all about "protecting" grown women from themselves. Strangers on the Internet presume to know better about a woman's relationship than the woman herself because she's too young, immature, bad decisions, prefrontal cortex blah blah blah... of course they'll never go all the way and just say they want to raise the legal adult age to 25 or 30 or 45 or 70, which would actually be consistent with what they're saying, but it's just way easier to shame people on Internet comments sections than to actually try to solve what they think is the problem.

[@Chaucer129]

Welcome back beautiful! I missed you!