BIGGEST Extroverted Sensing Epiphany...as an INTJ

[@Deardahliax]

Whoa as an infj I’m always spilling or bumping into things. One day I realized “hey if I move this thing over here I won’t bump into it” and “hey if I look at my coffee mug while walking it’ll less likely spill” lol good to know I’m not the only one! :)

[@5idi]

I'm ISFP. I have an INTJ friend who sometimes says I'm better at these things... and then I check what it is that I'm doing on auto-mode and explain it to her technically. Like... when you walk with coffee, it swings side to side with your step and then gravity pulls it back down, so your hand needs to correct for the side to side movement while your step rhythm needs to correlate with gravity's ability to bring the liquid down fluidly. She said it changed her life, so... here it is for you.

[@Deardahliax]

@@5idi yes that makes sense to my ti logic as well. Thank you for explaining it that way, the simple things for us se last in the function are actually the more complicated lol.

[@5idi]

@@Deardahliax I don't think these things are simple. And huh, you should see me doing Ni Te, it took me... 7 months to order a table.

[@dianana7371]

Try being an INFP lol

[@Deardahliax]

@@5idi it’s not easy for me either I’m saying simple in the sense of what society generalizes as the simple sensory tasks lol. I should specify haha

[@FaronGA]

Recently came to a completely similar conclusion. Sensory is like asking reality "what is there". Intuition is like seeing reality and asking your own brain "what is happening/what is there".

[@julieolson1402]

Yes. Thank you for the clarity! Separating the two cognitions has been so difficult for me.

[@milo_thatch_incarnate]

This is an excellent verbalization of something I (as an INTJ) have noticed in the periphery of my conscious, but haven't previously been able to put my finger on directly. For me, I've noticed it definitely _means_ the most to me in the arena of physical affection and sex. I've had two relationships, and it took me WAY too long to realize in the first one that it *wasn't normal or good* for my brain to be wandering and thinking as much as it usually does, _in the middle of a sexual encounter with my partner._ 😂 It's why I left the relationship -- even though at the time I wasn't sure if anything romantic or sexual could EVER be strong enough to "shut down" my brain to just the present. And THEN, I met the second man I was with. First of all, I'd never experienced sexual chemistry that strong in my life. It was like magnetism. But I was _shocked_ again to discover in the middle of sexual or just *sensual* encounters with him... that my brain was QUIET. I was fully in the moment with him. I wasn't thinking about my current "moves" or my next moves. I wasn't thinking about later that day, and their wasn't random "boredom music" playing in the back of my head somewhere. I was just... there. Experiencing something completely in the present, for possibly the first time in my life. Discovering how to tap into Se _healthily_ is such a mind-boggling revelation, as an INTJ.

[@InternetLiJo]

What a wonderful and healthy evolution of your consciousness!

[@julieolson1402]

So that's Se? Wow. Need more of that! (Much as I like my mind being active.)

[@anealin]

I can so relate to that as an infj. Thanks for sharing. A wonderful example of Se.

[@POVofanENFP]

Can we talk about this more? I've been trying to find threads on Quora and reddit on the topic of sex as an INTJ/INFJ to no avail. I've heard that looking into your partners eyes while being intimate can help the INTJ/INFJ be more present and not drift off... can you guys relate to that?

[@juniperstardust5549]

​@@POVofanENFPAlso look them in the eye while talking, that helps me being in the moment and it allows the person know your paying them attention

[@shadowmason74971]

As a fellow INTJ, the struggle is real to be present in reality and not in my head. Grounding myself to the world is my current quest to improve myself. Thank you for the video. Greatly appreciated!

[@InternetLiJo]

Being present often feels like a great goal, but the practice of actioning it in reality is hard.

[@PhotoRubio]

This is why you need an Se savior friend and why a savior Se friend needs you. Conquer the world you will!

[@shadowmason74971]

@@PhotoRubio I won't say no to that!

[@cameronvalentine6207]

As an INTJ I recently noticed there is a severe lag between when something happens and when I realize the thing happened. I believe this is because whenever I get a bit of sensory I immediately run it to the top of my stack where Ni can observe it for a totally useless amount of time. My brain then tries to go over what I missed while I was analyzing and it realizes that someone was speaking to me (sometimes it remembers what they said, sometimes it does not). Se inferior can really make you feel less then human sometimes. In social settings it can be like I'm not functioning how a human being should. I live how MBTI has shown me that these little sensory struggles are 100% normal, just a bit uncommon. Really great video that I think all intuitives can learn something from.

[@InternetLiJo]

Feeling less than human - I feel the pain behind that on the most personal level. Yes.

[@i3ignorantidelweb43]

I have the same problem as INTJ, especially once when “a lot” of things were happening at school and I thought only what I wanted to do but didn’t do anything, at the end I excused myself on WhatsApp for doing nothing. Anyway in general it is like there is a discrepancy between thinking and doing

[@TaylorVero]

I can relate to the lag! I find if I purposefully try to be mindful of my surroundings while in company I can't hold the conversation as well. My brain takes too long to actually take in the sensory information and make sense of it and that requires full focus!

[@i3ignorantidelweb43]

@@TaylorVero same

[@leina1858]

I'm an ENTP and i have SE as my 8th shadow function. It's such a blindspot for me that i didn't get why it made one less human. Ig the SE doesn't even reach my consciousness. When i was sweeping the floor, i also noticed that there's less dust when i was looking than when i wasn't. Although i paid no attention to it as i just went back to my inferior Si, remembering how I cleaned it back then and just repeating that. I rely on what i experienced in the past more than what I'm seeing at the moment.

[@TheMkoose]

Very relatable as an INFJ, I have noticed that sometimes I am daydreaming my life instead of actually living it. Also very noticeable when reading or watching youtube, and having to go back re-read or watch the same thing several times before I can turn Ni/Ti off enough to perceive the thing in front of me as it is without going off on tangents about it in my head. I've started practicing mindfulness meditation, it's hard but I think regular practice will be worth it.

[@cirquebeat]

I had this epiphany a couple of years ago in dance class. This fact meant I was never really relaxing. Even on holidays I would always think about the future:my proyects, my work, my studies. if you try and dont think about it for a really long time, dont think about your "betterment" but only about momentary enjoyment for days, you get to truly relax in a way I hadnt expierence before that.

[@swiftmk5480]

That universal experience where you accidentally put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge essentially sums up low Se life

[@nishbrown]

I drive for a living. I'm glad you don't. 😄

[@InternetLiJo]

Ahahahahha -- ME TOO

[@stevemcgee99]

You’re explaining why I don’t hit the golf ball sometimes.

[@AndeAndrea]

20 years of thinking about being in the present moment… with 1 year of it happening 😂

[@InternetLiJo]

100% hahah

[@rocketracer111]

I felt that way too much 😂

[@katherinehendrix3887]

Wow! Yeah I had a similar revelation when driving to my sisters house. I’ve gotten lost on my way there 6 or 8 times. My boyfriend pointed out to me once that she lives by the hospital, and I was like “yeah, duh, I know.” And he was like no. The hospital is right there, And he pointed. For the first time I could see it out in the distance. The hospital was literally right there. I can see it from my house. So lately I’ve started looking farther out in my field of view while I drive and realized that there are a lot more mountains that surround my town then I thought there were. People ALWAYS talk about them. And I’ve lived here for 3 years, but never realized that a few of them even existed.

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I'm an INTJ. I find it difficult to focus at being present in reality and not thinking away in my head. Thank you for sharing.

[@rakshithkakunje621]

As an ENFP I'd like to say I'm really simping hard for you from 10s after the video started.

[@CosmicDeath]

For a higher Se user, I wonder if this could be equated to that autopilot mode that can sometimes kick in when doing a repetitive task while distracted (?). Fantastic video, thank you for sharing!

[@MrLuigiFercotti]

I think the difference is that high Se user is probably better at operating on autopilot. No guarantee you won't step into a puddle but, it's operating on background and you snap out of it and make a save.

[@dxfifa]

It's like how you have to force yourself to think and use logic while doing an exam and stopping your pen from instinctively writing down stuff you haven't even consciously thought about/you have to stop looking around zoning in on what's happening around you and focus on your thoughts and ordering them depending on how you are as a person. Your attention might drift to how the paper reflects the light, and how far the lines are apart, or the breathing of the girl next to you, or how the dude in front is tapping his foot, or how the teacher in charge has slightly uneven eyebrows. Se blind people like in this video zone out of the external world to think or feel. Se dominant people zone out of their heads to observe the world around them

[@maxmogavero952]

I have noticed that on the rare occasions where I'm drunk, I become far more interested in objects, textures, and space, and really try to pay attention to the tactile world. I assume that's because when I can't rely on my intuitive sense of the things around me, I have to fall back on whether I can physically prove that they exist, where they are, and how to interact with them in a way that doesn't involve dropping, losing, tripping, breaking, soiling, or otherwise misusing. Or maybe I'm just drunk?

[@natatattful]

You’re less stressed and more present, also yes just drunk

[@daiflores3207]

as an INFJ artist I noticed this a few months ago. and i was like "why is this happening to me? why can't I be present in the moment? i need to improve my drawings!" as today, in drawing classes we are learning to observe things, to look at them and improve our sense of vision. and it's really irritating me cause i don't know how to look at things without analyzing them lmao im glad i found your video, it makes me feel better to know that we all, intj and infj, have this issue. makes me feel less alone. time to improve my inferior se!

[@Lylantares]

drawing is the only thing I am really good at Se-ing. Because I realized that I had to lookt at the object I was drawing in detail, then look at my drawing, and compare. And when I am really drawing, I can only listen to music. My brain is focused. Meanwhile, I am mostly in Ni-mode when writing/reading standard stuff. If there is something wrong, I can "feel" it intuitively and point to the section. And when one passage really gets my attention, I am reading it over and over again, switch to deep-dive and dissect it. Se is really my weakest function, and it doesn't help that I can get sensory overload very easily.

[@RainbowVegansRock]

I've never related to a video more in my life! I've always brushed these sort of moments off as being clumsy moments but in reality, I'm just not looking. 🤯

[@InternetLiJo]

Same! The fact that it’s so “obvious” really paints a clear picture of our cognitive prioritization. 😵‍💫

[@damien_writer]

INFJ here with exactly the same behaviour. I've taken up work working over the last year to help me concentrate more on what I'm actually doing with my hands... as opposed to what I have envisioned for them to perform (magically, with no conscious input from me). Spinning blades have a way of focusing the mind. So far, so good, I still have all my digits.

[@julieolson1402]

This almost breaks one's brain! As an INFP it's second nature to feel and intuit my way with people on a one-to-one basis. It's how I intersect with humanity. The way I don't engage with others is through the tribe. I can't relate to group dynamics at all. More often than not, groups look like runaway trains getting ready to derail. Who wants to take part in that?! But, there was a time when I was very young, before I set out on my solitary life, that I could enjoy the waves of playful magic moving through a group. These usually occurred when visiting cousins, or attending festivals. I thought that flower had died. Perhaps, if I work on my Se, that flower will bloom again.

[@kristannestone1748]

I call this The Haze. I've been working at being IN THE MOMENT for a while. My psychologist gave me a great exercise that I now do almost every day, called 5,4,3,2,1. You LOOK at (truly identify) 5 things, HEAR 5things, FEEL 5 things...then 4 of each etc. It's designed to get you grounded, more clear headed, and operating more safely through life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and for the blender finger story, a great example!!

[@SantiagoRodriguez-fe6ng]

As an INFJ I have already pointed that on myself, it helped to be raised in a family that are all sensors. It's really weird how we can take information without taking it. Like we are in auto-pilot all the f time. I'm working on bettering my Se and specially my ST consume, and this epiphany was the one that has hepled me more thowards it.

[@hellbellix]

It has happened to me so often that I kind of "look through things" instead of looking directly at what I am actually doing. I thought this wasn't normal and that I was dissociating but hearing you telling us that this is overactive Ni really calms me down. Thank you very much for this video, it was very helpful! *starts consciously practising Se things now*

[@Anna-zn6zc]

Omg was reliving the situation with throwing a ball myself😂 I had those ball game problems as well and my dad would always ask me "Why aren't you looking at the direction where you actually want to through the ball?" I was always thinking "but I did look!!" but my success was pretty limited 😂 anyways, thank you so much for your videos, I have become aware recently how much my very weak inferior Se is causing me unhappiness and you are one of the little KZbinrs that eventually GIVES concrete advise and shares their journey. It is reeally hard but I know I can improve too. ~an INFJ

[@InternetLiJo]

So glad you’re here on the improvement journey with me 🎉

[@fabiola4098]

As in an INFJ, I relate to this deeply. My parents used to say I would run into walls as a kid, hit my head, trip, and was just excessively clumsy. As an adult, I once was found cutting vegetables with the knife oriented the wrong way (I was applying pressure on the blade and cutting with the blunt tip), I don't close doors or cabinets all the way (sometimes I just leave everything open), I forget to turn off lights, and I subconsciously leave messes that I don't ever remember making. The thing about doors being dirty was also a recent revelation for me. I've never cleaned doors before in my life before this year, much less even realized they were dirty And most hauntingly, all types of chores take me FOREVER. It is TORTURE to be in the sensory world for such long periods of time, even if the chores themselves might not even be that difficult. And the whole time I'm in my head, so they take me even longer and seem to never end. But another interesting thing I noticed. Even when I'm talking, sometimes I will say the completely wrong thing. A whole random phrase may just make an appearance, or I'll completely forget what I'm saying, because even as I'm talking, my mind is elsewhere. Dominant Ni is to have your richest and most interesting world be in your mind instead of in the actual world. A sad but clarifying and somewhat empowering observation.

[@Laura-et2xj]

I experienced a similar revelation a few years back when I was thinking about why I was feeling crappy and how I needed to stop being in my head so much and be present to the environment. I had this realization as I was crossing a busy intersection and (apparently) hadn’t noticed that the walk sign had switched off. Bus honked and I jumped backwards as it whizzed on by. Right then I realized that if I want to be present to the environment around me, I have to stop being so present to everything happening within. This realization has been so helpful and yet I still feel a certain irritation at how straightforward - because it means I have to accept that most times I just don’t *want* to redirect my attention, and I quite frankly just suck at it. ….At least not the 50000 times it takes to redirect over and over and over and over…. : “oooh thought!! Ohhh image!!! Ohhh idea!!”

[@InternetLiJo]

The redirection is the hard part!!

[@2trntbls]

Squirrel! Those darn noggin squirrels..

[@陳查理-c2c]

This is why as an infj, i can never remember what were there or how beautiful nature is, when i went hiking with my friends. But i could easily remember who were there, said what, seeming to feel what, and the overall vibe of that hike was pleasant or unpleasant.

[@Didi-gp2iv]

i am an ESTP and i am absolutely horrified lmao honestly love your videos especially the Ni ones bcs mine SUCKS ASS and im always perplexed, admire yall Ni doms

[@InternetLiJo]

Ni staring at some Se for the first time 😬😬😬"so this is here"

[@GuidingMyHome]

I still haven't had the epiphany moment for my Ni that Lijo just had for her Se. Lol. Hopefully soon because I need to understand. 😭😂

[@alexr6114]

I have learned to pay attention to what I am doing, instead of thinking about what I have to do next, because otherwise I will not remember what I have just done. Being in the moment is important.

[@preciousgoje2193]

My mother always said "stop being absent-minded", when I was washing plates she would always say " why are you splashing water everywhere? Pay attention." I believe this helped me alot plus I joined the military which is very Se. Thanks again for another video

[@samuelunias673]

As a Sensing dom I would say this is a big step towards understanding sensing functions, because that's the mentality you have when you use them. Way more helpful them "being in the present". I'm happy to this coming from someone with Se inferior.

[@fluidiccolours8091]

Lindsay, usually I don't comment on KZbin, but this video gave me enough reason to comment. What you told about drawing lines, holding a bowl of soup in your hand, all made absolute sense. I had similar epiphanies often but couldn't articulate it better (or in other words articulate it in a manner that actually made concrete sense). I'll share some instances. One of them is while watching movies or playing any games. When doing that, my mind would be racing about what to do next, what is going to happen next, and my sensory nature steps in only to take necessary inputs for my brain to process them to proceed ahead. However, once I finished the game/movie and try to watch the movie again or play the game again, I already know what is going to happen. So, my thinking and processing dial down, and then I notice hundred other sensory details that I earlier saw, but did not actually see. I noticed this disparity between getting something done and being in the moment to enjoy things for what it is. For me, I made my own methods to get the best of both worlds - with small compromises. I watch movies or TV shows that I like twice. Once to understand how the show is going to go forward and see it through, and the next time to enjoy and notice the finer details. The same applies to games, books, any video content, or shows. This is a bit of compromise, but totally worth it for a wholesome experience. For work-related stuff that I don't have experience with (meaning, I have little to no clue on how to proceed further), first I won't think too much and just follow the instructions given by the instructors. Then, once I get a decent hang of it, then I put my thinking hat and dissect the process to the nuts and bolts and make my own way. If I am learning something new, first I'll go to the basics and understand the concepts clearly. Then I have a framework (internally built) about how things work, the do's and don'ts, etc., Since I've done enough thinking, I can now go and peacefully concentrate on what is at hand without much thinking with the security of concepts at my disposal. There is a caveat though. Many events in life do not have a repeat feature to try twice. You only get one shot at them. Those are the ones I dread where-in I have to balance both. Both are difficult to do together. That's where my previous strategy of preparing in advance helps to navigate to some extent. For better results, and as a decent challenge, I am trying to force myself (within reasonable limits) to do things on the fly. Getting some success, but definitely not a master at it. Hope this helps and is of some value to you and fellow KZbinrs! Cheers!

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience:)

[@NiharSavala]

Love, they say, when you look at a plant/tree, there is a another reality too which we don’t perceive all the time. It is not only that you are looking, but the plant/tree is also looking at you.

[@InternetLiJo]

I love this.

[@farrex0]

As ENTP something similar happens to me, but different. I am never truly thinking about what I am doing, but I am looking. But when I am doing something my mind always wanders off. I am there, talking to a hypothetical person in my brain about quantum physics, while I am cooking. But in the sensory world, I am tunnel visioned on whatever I am doing in the moment. I hate, to be interrupted, because whenever I do something, everything else disappears, I am one with whatever I am doing and time just simply ceases to exist. But my brain is never ever truly on what I am doing, nor is it on what i am going to do next. My brain is always processing ideas, even when I am fully focused on doing something sensory. Remember the Pixar movie of Soul? Imagine that I enter that flow state they talk about, where everything dissappears and I lose sense of time, and somehow everything sensory I do is done perfectly. I am fully and truly focused and tunnel visioned on only what I am doing. There could be an earthquake and I wouldn't even notice. But at the same time, while my whole sensory experience is only focused on that, my mind is never there. As I said, my mind is always processing random ideas and concepts.

[@InternetLiJo]

I haven't seen that movie but your comment has inspired me to check it out :)

[@cyberneticbutterfly8506]

I call this need for no distraction the low-brain-bandwidth-blessing. I have the same thing (INTP) and I love it cause I can fully immerse myself or focus and I get so annoyed at seeing people who don't immerse themselves and can't fully appreciate things. People who can do many things at once are unable to truly dive into a movie and enjoy it with complete immersion. They also need music to do homework so they can fill their wide bandwidth with pure sensory input in order to have the thoughts in the head only be enough to foucs on the task. Without that music they will traile off in the mind cause it has the bandwidth to do more than the homework at once. Or so i theorize.

[@GuidingMyHome]

My INTP husband does this too! And that movie is amazing.

[@Azdaja13]

This might explain all those times where I was mostly incompetent at PE but then had those rare few instances where I'd somehow do something hyper-competent without thinking about it or realising it, as if by instinct. I never figured out how I managed to do such things besides maybe random luck. Problem is when I look at things and not think about them, I worry and it's exceedingly uncomfortable because it's just so alien to me. It's like wilfully giving up control and allowing myself get tossed about on a current - it's daunting and unnatural.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yeah it is daunting and unnatural!

[@joshuasukup2488]

Excellent observation

[@evieisadiamond7657]

This is so interesting! I was just thinking the other day about how I’ve always been pretty athletic, but to me in my mind it never felt like real skill. It always felt like luck, like I never really knew what I was doing when playing sports. I’d just kick the ball and hope for the best and usually it would end up looking like a totally intentional move. I never understood why as an Se inf I didn’t fit the unathletic stereotype, but I think I get it now. I never retained any of the tips or skills I was taught in practice, I think my clumsy Se just took over in those moments and made me look like I knew what I was doing when in reality I was so lost and confused. Someone would be like “that was an awesome pass great job!” and in my head I’d be like thanks I have no idea how I just did that

[@ishyameru6232]

@@evieisadiamond7657I played soccer in HS after being a basketball player all my life, we’re definitely naturals

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

Wow, that immediately brought to mind my experience of playing basketball in high school, where I would suck a lot and then occasionally would make a perfect shot that amazed everyone. I could never figure out how I could suck and at the same time make these perfect shots seemingly out of nowhere.

[@jamesbobbski2269]

This is mental. Of course! I’m a guitarist who loves to improvise along to any type of song. I’ve noticed when having smoked weed my playing is significantly better. Because of the fact that I’m sooo zoned in to the moment. INTJ’s (such as myself) simply need to keep reminding ourselves to step out of our head and focus on the task. It’s pretty exciting because it turns everything into a game or puzzle to solve.

[@ostanesirp9297]

Yes actually I can relate it to myself, but the strange thing is there's an exception for this situation and it's when I'm playing video games; for now I can realize that maybe that's why I really enjoy playing them since my childhood. Well done, thanks👏🕯🌷

[@GuidingMyHome]

My intuitive husband is far better at video games than I am as a sensor. I would love Lijo's input on why that is.

[@fourNfour]

Wow I am so glad I stumbled on this because I've been trying to name my issue of when I try too hard on anything I fail miserably each time. Now I realize I'm not trying harder I am thinking harder. Which is hilarious. Also I shared this to a Se dom and he was very scared for me he asked what do I do when I cross the street...

[@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers]

4:40 "INTJs don't overthink things..."

[@courtneyleeds]

I am an immediate fan of this damn channel... Today is Saturday and I am watching having just discovered you last night... And as a side note, outlawing THC from INTJ's is downright criminal... And, did I just hear you say you were "failing" high fives? LMAOOO 7:25 Gives me life! Big love!!

[@courtneyleeds]

What my INTJ arse is thinking about is the sheer number of beefcake bros out there LoL... Trust me Ms. LiJo, the correct answer is always fist bump, so we might as well lead the dance (I can open my palms later) 😉

[@courtneyleeds]

Although I cannot deny that bumping elbows made good logical sense at the time. But I gotta tell ya, we really need to make bowing a thing in the West. Asians have that shit figured-out, cuz I hate that street handshake where at the end you are only each other's holding finger tips, as though we were all constantly exchanging tiny ziplock bags of illicit substances or passing cash to pay for said substances (allegedly)

[@carloscedillo5081]

This video was to me like an aha! moment,…. Dancing…. I am not a good dancer, but I noticed if I stop thinking, and just be in my body listening to the music, i get better at it,… I tested it, and one of my kids came and said “Dad I thought you didn’t dance” so it got noticed,… I am still amazed how much effort I have to put to not come back to my head and stay in my body senses, it’s hard !

[@shy2467]

It's crazy to think all you need to do is just look around and pay attention to what's actually happening. I would honestly prefer to be in lala land than constantly aware of reality. As an ESFP I actually dislike drawing because I pay TOO MUCH attention to my lines and struggle a lot with creativity. I end up just drawing what I see and that's pretty boring imo so I don't like to draw.

[@InternetLiJo]

Gosh this was great perspective from the ESFP viewpoint. Thank you for the sensory triangulation.

[@GuidingMyHome]

Yes!

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Fellow esfp here- CAN CONFIRM

[@JellyIsland]

This is so interesting to hear! I'm an INFJ but my sister is ESFP and I love drawing and when we draw together she always gets frustrated about it not looking perfect and lack of ideas on what to draw or paint. 🤔 Now I kind of understand a bit better thanks to you. thank you ☺️

[@jrjackson1616]

Another ESFP who can confirm I hate drawing for these reasons!

[@TheEliasNoel]

So so so true. Thanks for sharing. I think the whole concept of zen tries to address this about being fully present.

[@drgnlady13]

I've been aware of this for a very long time, but it still happens constantly. Even when I'm reading to learn I catch myself thinking about the reading rather than the content of what I'm reading

[@anealin]

I almost never recognized my friends walking past me in the streets. I saw PEOPLE, I heard SOUNDS, but I haven't been into the details. I see the forest, but i do not notice the moss on the trees and flowers amongst roots, i just know they are there and i imagine them (being a short-sighted person adds to that Ni thing). I literally started practicing dynamic meditation last year bc of that: mental health walks in the park in the mornings. No analyzing, no Ni, only OBSERVING AND NOTICING real things around me: how leaves move on the wind, how birds shower under the grass sprinkles, how a bug sleeps inside a rise, hiw does a flower smell and how i feel about it.

[@raidraptorrisefalcon5706]

I'm an INTJ as well and i've experienced a similar thing . I started to doing workout exercises since last May because i wish to do for next June an Eren's cosplay , the shirtless version from AoT season 4 . So here what it happened : I went to my grandma's house for holydays and she went for hug me and she scared out because she though i had an hole and instead it was just an abs fissure . I haven't noticed that neither , so after that when i went back to home i've passed the time i needed to sleeping in touching that abs fissure.

[@joanaborrellsanchez9225]

I'm an INFP so I have less Se than a fantasy 🫠 And what you said is true, sometimes we just need to focus on what we do at the moment, or stay attuned to our body sensations. To me it's so overwhelmimg a strong noise or light when I'm exhaused, like it echoes and I have headache. I think it helps to go outside ourselves, to actually listen and engage without overthinking.

[@nora_8080]

This is such a funny yet eye-opening advice

[@dayoffnow]

I now feel so much better about my Se, which is apparently fairly optimal for a female INTJ. ;) I must have gained some advantage from my grandmothers' embroidery and crochet lessons. And I loved drawing, probably because it was an extension of my near-constant daydreaming. On the other hand, my few attempts at sports were pretty similar to yours. And I have an embarrassingly long history of walking into door frames (and the occasional wall) while looking right at them. Thanks for sharing your epiphany! I enjoyed it and it helped me see my own Se challenges in a new way.

[@Takosaga]

I choose to not look at the dirty doors and floors, i don't want to clean

[@InternetLiJo]

10/10 would not look. The doors were... disturbing.

[@GuidingMyHome]

I have no choice but to notice them, BUT I do have the ability to choose not to clean them unless the filth on them is dangerous somehow. 😅

[@bc9616]

Learning about Ni and Se and cognitive stacks explained my whole life to me! My middle initial is O and my dad said it really stood for Oblivious because I couldn’t come down out of my head and into right here, right now. Like you, I can do the thing when I’m actually paying attention to it. Otherwise, I’m off with the fairies.

[@elizabethwright1264]

This is why I listen to music when I need to focus in the here & now. Music keeps me from going deep into my subconscious processing. Music keeps me observant.

[@tombain5665]

INFJ here. Thank you for the missing information. Ha Im so INFJ. This has been the explanation of Se I have needed but could not understand and resonate with other explanations. Really excellent. I do and don't do all that you described. I can apply your recommendation. Many thanks. Great channel Lijo

[@swixdon]

INTJ here. I used to have my jug of water on the ground 'cause I haven't prioritised furniture. I can't remember how many times I had to clean spills (several times a week, for months)caused by either myself or visitors before I got fed up enough to put it on a chair. 0 spills since. It's been 3 months.

[@deborat]

I can totally related to this! Something funny I just thought about - I find doing my nail’s myself quite therapeutical. I suppose it’s because it is an hour in which I am fully focused in what I am doing, and not in my head. I love thinking about things, but we all need a break time to time. I’ve started meditating too, and that helps.

[@shannondaley1023]

lmao i (also intj female) hit my head 3x on the same car roof getting in/out within less than 20 minutes over the weekend. in the interest of intj brain cells everywhere, we've got to do something :P one thing you didn't touch on in this video that it's not only our thinking but our judging and trusting our own judgment that justifies (well, attempts to- injuries are a really good counterargument lol) our distance from the sensory. when we don't have decisions to make we can reaaaaally zone out and not be present haha. those are the times we actually should be more present and practice engaging in different ways pulling from all of our "opposite" functions- practicing with more experiential, physical, emotional connectedness. also side note i too do marker line art to relax (occasion permitting- mom life is wild and put me on my steepest learning curve ever but also really has balanced me out and hopefully helped provide my kids with examples of how to be/accept yourself and be open to changing, correcting, etc.). it's way more engaging than media entertainment and more soothing than music and writing.

[@fleurdelacour491]

When I was a student, I unconsciously poured sulfuric acid on my classmate's hand during chem laboratory and only came back into reality when she screamed right beside me. So guilty about that!

[@Nostradamvs]

Funnily enough, I (as an INTJ) was sort of relating to this thinking yeah, I guess so. But then when she started talking about the dirty doors, it really hit home. I remember when I really "realized" how easy it was to clean things effectively. For me it was just a matter of figuring out that I have to look and inspect after the fact to see if I missed anything.

[@Anonymous-sd6hq]

I kinda had this epiphany in highschool. Mostly because I liked drawing architecture back then. Perhaps all we need is some sort of catalyst to make us see the difference. Good to know I'm not the only one who though of this as a breakthrough xd

[@InternetLiJo]

It's truly fascinating to see for yourself. I'm still not over it 😆

[@Jooney91]

Haha I can relate to this. Over time I've learnt to "shout" at myself - Lily, FOCUS! - this helps me to snap back to reality. Forcing myself to watch what I am doing and just naming the steps I need to make or commenting what I am doing at that time is efficient for me too especially if I talk to myself aloud. But it's hard to not let your mind wander. I have never thought of it in this context so thank you for naming it. Anyway my funny story about "blind" INTJ... my ex wore beard. One day he came and was very surprised... I didn't notice he shaved it off completely. The fun part is, that he asked me if I noticed something different about him and I was observing him but didn't see it anyway. He was so mad at me. 😂

[@GuidingMyHome]

This is a big part of how I type my family...do they notice when Daddy trims his beard or Mommy has a pimple? Lol. It's so silly but shows up very obviously in all of my kids, my husband, and myself.

[@rheacelis2092]

I agree the perfect term is “focus” for example when reading a/studying text book ( the ones that don’t catch my interest ) I had to literally write it again breaking it into notes as to digest and wire in the information in my brain dissecting it from the tiniest detail until I can appreciate the big picture. I usually look at the big picture but the “norm” of measuring knowledge would require one to know the details even the irrelevant once 😬 but on the long run I appreciate that these irrelevant information makes my thoughts more flexible - helps me well versed in expressing ideas

[@Jooney91]

@@rheacelis2092 I understand. When I was a student I often read information, then extract the important ones or main ideas, which I wrote down and then memorize only those. If I was memorizing too much details I couldn't remember it. Our learning process is very different from others, because we quickly get patterns and thus can describe complicated problem very simply once we broke it down in our heads. I remember one of my teachers telling me that even if I actually wrote everthing important in a test, it was surprisingly simple and plain (he obviously enjoyed long sentences). We often need many details to be able to really break down an idea into pieces (Te is helping a lot) and get this full picture, but we can easily get overwhelmed by them at the same time.

[@josephmarch7142]

I had to deal with this so often and early, as an artist, often I have to draw what is seen rather than what we think what we see. This extends to doing weights, yoga, driving.. I still struggle with this. I envy the high SE folks just feeling more natural with it.

[@empathy_is_only_human]

This is an element of my own experience that I have dubbed autopilot. Mundane, or repetitive tasks often times triggers this response for me.

[@darkrebel123]

As an INFP this made me chuckle. Even though I don't have Se in my stack, I do the same thing with thinking about something more than observing it directly, but I still somehow remain connected to the sensory world pretty accurately. I think the Ne gives me a good intuitive sense of where everything in the sensory world is at. Like when riding my motorcycle, I have an uncanny ability to predict the movement of traffic, even the erratic movements. But I feel like I can easily imagine how thinking about reality could replace observing reality lol

[@sarros5762]

Holy crap, This is how I operate!! Very eye opening.

[@fidanfassbender2065]

This is incredibly helpful. It’s like hearing, but not listening but with visual things. Such a simple answer to a lot of my struggles.

[@jrjackson1616]

I'm just glad I read the description before watching this lol The having to remind oneself to "actually look at the things" is really foreign to me because it's a baseline operation. Any time I don't, I IMMEDIATELY hear my ESTJ mom's voice yelling "LOOK at what you're doing!!!"

[@matthewedwards6025]

Wow, you think about what you're doing while you're doing it?! Someday I hope to advance to that level of engagement.

[@danielpucher3367]

I guess that's why we feel more comfortable at home, we've already controlled for the environment and can mostly think freely.

[@EmTreasure88]

I remember my dad has told me to become more aware of my surroundings, and i've been getting better at it over time. ✨ Sometimes i still space out, but now i make sure that if i do that, i make sure it is a safe space to space out first (most of the time). -infj

[@joeywills486]

I love your channel. Intj here… And you’re unbelievably beautiful!

[@InternetLiJo]

Gee thanks!

[@张宇奇-x4v]

Also an INTJ here. I also realized this. There are two Chinese idioms that in a way describe this: "视而不见" and "听而不闻". You are looking at something without actually seeing it, listening to something without actually hearing. I found it out while talking to a friend one day. I found that I always get distracted after listening to a few words of them because I think I already understand what they are trying to say. When they have finished speaking, I will respond to them according to my previous understanding. Occasionally my answer will deviate slightly from what they actually said, and then I will make up for it. I think this is due to not preferring Se.

[@onemillionpercent]

essentially don't overthink it. "looking" = "being present"

[@elketraz]

Thank you for this epiphany. This morning I went into the living room and wanted to put a glass of water on the table. The remote control was on the table. I was thinking about taking the remote off the table because maybe there was a chance the water would spill on the remote. As I was thinking this, I didn't look at the glass of water, but at the remote control. And poured the water over the table. So yeah, I needed to hear this.

[@mokajun]

INFJ here I can relate to this whole heartedly, I've started cleaning and exercising more intently just to work on my Se

[@DerMichael]

I had problems walking with a cup of tea for far longer than I'm comfortable admitting. In my brain, the task was simple: Grab the cup and walk to the table. But for some reason, I often spilled something or had to walk super slowly. Same thing for catching stuff. I started catching things with my whole body rather than with just my hands because I kept looking in the general direction of the person throwing something and only thinking "Okay, that thing is gonna come flying towards me, so I need to open my arms and catch it. Please let me be cool for once while trying this. Why does he even throw it when we're just 3 meters away from each other..." without actually trying to catch it in real time.

[@SaliamonXP]

my eyes have never rolled back so hard (savior Se)

[@EvermindOracle]

INTJ. This is my life. This my story. Took the words right out of my mouth 😅 Today my ENFP snapped at me because I wasn't looking at him while he was talking. I told him I don't need to look at him because I was listening, and that my attention was 100% on him via my ears and thoughts. My default is to place my attention on things without looking at them... but when I take the trouble to ACTUALLY LOOK... it's kinda like using a magickal power💥💫

[@sija750]

As an INFJ your story about softball reminded me of my own story. I was 8 years old and a friend of my dad's tried to teach me soccer. And for some reason I always failed at hitting the ball literally 1 centimeter away from my foot. The friend kept telling me to just look at the ball before and while I kick it and I was really frustrated because I thought "But that's what I'm doing!!!" Got frustrated and quit XD But now years later I realize I wasn't looking at it. I was thinking about hitting it. I was thinking about the ball ending up where it needed to. But the reason I never actually kicked the ball was because I wasn't focusing on doing that. I'm now 20 and your video has made me finally realize this Thx! :)

[@GuidingMyHome]

I had a similar epiphany in reverse recently. I was watching a Shave video and Shan was talking about how real things feel to her and having to focus on the idea of 'will this matter in 20 years?' I was like WHAT? Is that what Ni/Fi sleep is? It's still very hard to put it into practice, but that's become my question for myself every time I get upset or stressed out.

[@InternetLiJo]

You’re reverse epiphany just twisted my brain at a level I can’t explain at the moment 😅

[@twinesper]

This was hilarious and wonderful

[@HasanImam-s7v]

I've been boxing as a hobby for around 2 years, and I can say that when id get the better of my sparring partner, I was completely focused on their behaviour and movement in the moment vs when I would be only thinking about what I needed to do (Te) and not be landed any of the shots. Fighting ,any INTJ should know, is completely Se, and since it's suppressed in other parts of life, when you feel zoned in in a hostile situation like boxing and see everything, it does feel pretty damn good.

[@gabriellebarnard707]

Relate so hard to this 😩 My mom always called me an “absent minded professor” and said I needed to “get my head out of La La Land” Trying to develop situational awareness is a challenge, but super important to survival. Still scares me when people point out to me how oblivious I am to my surroundings. Being high intuition is on par with being a sensory-dom thrill seeker as far as getting into dangerous situations…but instead of seeking them out they just accidentally happen to intuitive-doms because of being oblivious.

[@InternetLiJo]

Oh gosh my mom always said I was in "la la land" too hahahah. Actually I think her quote was that I was "always look out into la la land".

[@lunarspine]

As an INFJ, I'm pretty much the same most of the time, but, when I'm with people, I tend to be more physical connected with reality than alone (probably due to Fe). Your example reminded me of when I want to throw a ball and I was doing my very best to active my Se as much. as possible, but the moment I needed to release the ball, a guy looked at me which actived my Fe which knows what he was feeling then my Ni took over and I imagined a couple of scenarios in a split of a second, my throw was off, if course.

[@morpheusmirror2857]

Being present is zen for me as an INTJ and it can be a super power when tapped successfully. One can merge their subconscious with their conscious at the same time where everything becomes flow and it is magical and terrifying when it is first experienced.

[@adhistie1694]

sensors epiphany was when they realised that intuitives zoned out all the time, like whoa

[@lokoers]

Haha so true - I am also "*thinking* about what I am doing - not *looking* at what I am doing"

[@kahnquest]

A very important missing piece of the puzzle. Just experienced the same flood of memories making just a little more sense. 😱 Thanks for speeding up the process.

[@InternetLiJo]

Happy to be of service 💁🏼‍♀️

[@martinazivai]

This is hilarious! Yet so helpful. Recently, I experienced something similar and I've been trying to be more mindful about it so that every time I go outside I'm not lost in the middle of the streets. Appreciate you input on it. Take care.

[@InternetLiJo]

Glad it was helpful 🧠♥️

[@martinazivai]

@@InternetLiJo Also, I just noticed that I was wearing my shirt backwards.

[@pspcow]

“Where there birds chirping?” I can deduce logically the possibility of birds being present at that time, yes.

[@ThomasSteed]

In the words of Ed Bassmaster..... Just look at it. I find myself hearing this all the time 😂. I was literally writing this comment as you clipped that in. Great minds right there.

[@InternetLiJo]

Ed is my DUDE!!! hahahah

[@ThomasSteed]

@@InternetLiJo right? Prank comedy genius!

[@LKH321]

Mind blown - in a good way. Thank you!

[@franknelson3019]

As a chronically uncoordinated INTJ I can sure relate to this lecture!

[@DanceMotherSuperior]

I recently came to a similar realization. I must be very conscience of what I am doing. I cannot allow my mind to wander off to wherever ... The sensory is so exhausting, but cleaning up the messes created from not paying attention is even more exhausting and expensive too!

[@Coneman3]

I can relate as an INFJ. I can play pretty good pool, but when I overthink it, my game falls apart.

[@maloneaqua]

Same here. I think an xNTJ such absent minded ness is meant to be our truth too 💁🏽‍♀️ because we don’t live in our bodies and by our senses. We’re not present most of the time. We live in our brains. My senses and reflexes are actually quite slow as a result. I’m low in neuroticism. It’s because the only time I’m ever really present is in conversation, or when I’m working.

[@meesha_dreaming]

Love this. You're the only one to really properly articulate this. [Edit] Food for thought... I call it "going on autopilot", and sometimes going on " autopilot" can lead to mishaps such as taking a wrong turn (especially when bombarded with additional external sensory information). In that state I am not truly present but in my internal intuitive universe, and this can certainly be noticeable - especially by extrovert sensor types. Not too many sensors in my life coming from a large family of primarily intuitives. Two INTJ's, another possible with my niece, and another Ni lead being my mother (INFJ), and others high in their stacks.

[@InternetLiJo]

Autopilot when you still need someone flying the plane ✈️ absolutely!

[@inecamilla2575]

Oh, wow. Can't believe I actually needed this tip🙈

[@martymasar]

as an INTJ I can confirm this - just right now I was about to eat a lunch, so I grabbed a fork, mixed the sauce with it in the bowl, and only when I was about to eat and put the fork in my mouth I first looked at it and noticed that I grabbed the wrong fork...I literally have not even looked at it - I was just following the process - open the drawer, grab the object from the top left corner (the place where the "correct forks" are), and then just proceeded further...Because there was no reason for the "wrong" fork to be there, but guess what, brother came and put the "wrong" fork in there, so I was not expecting that, and thus I played myself...All that could have been prevented just by taking less than a second to actually looked at the object I picked...

[@jomoore1110]

There is a lot of truth to this. It's hard for an intj to completely focus on the present task, especially if it doesn't interest them. For me i've struggled with tasks bc they are just a means to accomplishing what I really want, so I am often checked out and looking beyond it to the next thing or another thing entirely. I also know I'm gonna use as little effort as possible, which means as little sensory as possible, which calls for a lot of guessing, predicting and a host of assumptions...which at times can lead to mistakes and oversight. But I think your conclusions are also valid. I think the lack of Se can show itself in many different ways.

[@philosopher_kings]

Ugh Se is my biggest enemy. Thank you Lijo 🙌

[@InternetLiJo]

My pleasure **bows**