Biggest "OWNED" Ever!!!!

A student stole a computer from a teacher that got alot of confidencial information.
See how the student get the scare of there life with the speach from the teacher.
YOU GOT OWNED BIG TIME XP

[@dazedconfuzed6]

For any kids watching this, when a teacher gives an ultimatum as in "turn yourself in and receive a lesser punishment even though we know who it is" is bluffing out their ass.

[@46monkeyes]

+jeff darnell True---as an instructor, I used the same guilt trip trick...and it worked!

[@randomdude4628]

+jeff darnell I'm used to be a teacher and I never wanted to get students into trouble, all I want is my belongings, if you hand them over, we can call it borrowing without asking.

[@dvdrwsor]

+jeff darnell Are you encouraging kids to lie and steal ?

[@randomdude4628]

dvdrwsor obvy

[@toddenrico2748]

+dvdrwsor Lighten up

[@DrBenson21]

99% of that was bullshit. The only thing he said that was true was that he lost his computer

[@darthbane2669]

Was just trying to scare him into giving it back.

[@seventhirty22]

That's not true either. He said it was stolen.

[@drubryan3410]

lmfao!

[@mszigetihu]

Yeah, and it was so bad, too. "People in Redmond was curious" yeah, because people at Microsoft spend their time tracking fucking Windows serial numbers one by one and acts immediately when someone uses the same one with 2 installs. This guy is a fucking idiot.

[@robin3]

He tried to install windows but got an error that his serial number was already in use. So he called microsoft support to say his laptop was stolen. That's it, nobody has called the FBI... secret service are not looking for his stupid laptop. Noone cares!!!

[@apointtomake1517]

When someone goes into a long winded speech like this, you know they have no idea where the computer is.

[@shimtest]

Professor: "I stored confidential information on this computer and left it sitting in a classroom and yet I'm not to blame..."

[@evidencebasedfaith6658]

Bill Westfall Exactly what I was thinking.

[@timhanby5662]

Dude had some illegal stuff on there obviously lol

[@Clowncentral101]

@@timhanby5662 no it's all a lie he made the whole thing up hoping that the student would come for are but he never did none of this shit makes any sense how the hell would this guy have million dollar insider trade secrets and shit

[@timhanby5662]

Austin C.M. yeah I know lmao, but like if he said all that shit, the kid who stole it probably drove 20miles and threw it off a cliff, you wouldn’t wanna get caught with it regardless lol.

[@Clowncentral101]

@@timhanby5662 lmao yeah I do know that he never got it back

[@JamesLewis]

Sounds do me like this lecturer was in an equal amount of shit as the student for not encrypting his damn laptop.

[@grapewater123]

lol so true

[@thingsthatstopyoudreaming5837]

+James Lewis Oh for sure, very likely in breach of contract.

[@TruckerPhilosophy]

+James Lewis Encrypting? Shit, all he had to do was lock it in a drawer or only manipulate those type of files on a secured desktop terminal.

[@JamesLewis]

TruckerPhilosophy Many ways to skin a cat, and if you work with sensitive data, dont leave your unencrypted laptop in a room full of yoofs!

[@thingsthatstopyoudreaming5837]

James Lewis ll my contracts specify data encryption at a minimum encrypted hard-drive, gov and sensitive work separate encrypted folder on an encrypted hard-drive - he IS incompetent to say the least and careless. hope they caught him, I could not find further info.

[@cameronalexander7018]

If they had "transponder data", the computer already would have been found. If this had been an electrical engineering or computer science class, there would have been roaring laughter from the crowd.

[@Cooley96]

Yeah right. Computer science and other tech students have no sense of humor. They just sit and stare.

[@47Mortuus]

96.

[@thewiseone9798]

Dude, I'm a computer science student at a college ranked similarly to MIT's standards and I have a great sense of humor. Even the stupidest shit sometimes can make me laugh.

[@adambombo3977]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[@Dave-vc5lz]

The fact that you wrote that out means you don't.

[@BrooklynBigAl]

I was waiting for Professor Plum to get to the part about how the laptop has a remotely-triggered self-destruct mechanism built in by the CIA--for whom he consulted, of course. 6 years later, the thief probably still watches this stream-of-bullshit clip on the stolen machine whenever he needs a good laugh.

[@nialljamesbuckley]

thief my ass. this dumbass probably found it in the faculty lounge later that day where'd left it earlier that morning.

[@awesomeguy9573]

+b 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@charliedavis8447]

hahaha its so much funnier listening to his rant after imagining this scenario

[@gerstenkarlheinz6545]

llmao dude that comment made my day hahahahha this bullshit talking prof just lost it

[@Clowncentral101]

Lmfao

[@PatrickPierceBateman]

The Marshalls found the thief, shot him in the legs 40 times, then watched him bleed out while they smoked cigarettes and made jokes about how stupid he was for not disabling the tracking device. It's harsh but fair.

[@Spazticspaz]

idk why man but i found this shit hilarious. my taste in humor is evolving like the smell from my balls being stuck in quarantine has relieved me of my desire to shower.

[@lissadawes4243]

😂

[@Sednas]

@@Spazticspaz my goodness it has been 3 years since covid, what is life.

[@BirdGang6]

Sounds like Justice served to me!

[@Chubzdoomer]

Oldest trick in the book: "Come forth and admit you did it, and everything will be OK. If you don't, we already know who you are, and you'll be in SERIOUS trouble!"

[@phaonthomas6094]

Plot twist, he actually forgot his laptop at home that morning

[@davidkennedy3457]

haha!!!

[@zonanboy]

jesus christ that fly scared the shit out of me

[@kaohsiung99]

He left in in the backseat of his car, actually. It was under a jacket that he decided not to wear that day

[@Greensmilyy]

This is one of those rare gem videos where the comments are WAY more entertaining than the video itself

[@TupacMakaveli1996]

Video is the essence 😂😂😂

[@Zak6009]

That's not a rare gem, the highlight is always in the comments.

[@solarpowered3364]

If we were playing poker I would go all in , this dude sucks at bluffing

[@Clowncentral101]

Lmao fr

[@martyfakenewsman24]

plot twist, the student wasnt even in the lecture to hear this.

[@lordsmartytrousers2976]

The professor's business partner is using the student as a double agent to seed false information via the "stolen" laptop in order to rip off the professor. Triple twist!

[@gunfuego]

M. Night Shamalan would be proud :)

[@shamur6226]

+gunfuego did you play gunfu 2 stickman

[@gunfuego]

sha mur nope why?

[@dumbassdriversofdenver9113]

That my thought. He stole the exam he has to take so why would he go to the lectures? He has everything he needs to pass the class already.

[@xavierishika3068]

You'd think there would be a higher security measure set in place since that computer was so valuable

[@rutger5000]

+Xavier Ishika Nah I've been studying at three universities and security is always next to none existant. Everything is just based on simple trust. Yeah that goes wrong from time to time, but nothing major is ever really done against it.

[@ZER0--]

+Xavier Ishika Have you heard of Snowden, Aseange, ect ? There was a guy from the UK who went looking for UFOs on US government websites and he said many sites had no passwords at all.

[@candlelightmoodromeocasano4550]

+Xavier Ishika They have no idea who it was that stole it. He was bluffing and he was good at it, but it was just like a law enforcement tactic. Trust me, if the police knows you did something and have 100% proof of it then they wont be wasting time trying to interrogate you to try and get you to tell on yourself or admit to it. They would just come and get your ass and that will be that. Same way, with this professor, he has no clue who it was that stole it and was just playing chess figuring that the person was stupid enough to come turn it in. Also, that idiot does not have any of that classified data he spoke of and if he really was in such possession of classified data then it would not be on a fucking wireless laptop that you can carry around with you. It would be on a desktop with a massive password system that you would have a to be a pro to break and then each and every one of those files he mentioned would also have a massively hard password to break into those files as well and again you would have to be a pro or hacker of some sort to even get into them or know where they even are on the computer as they would be in a hidden file not right on the fucking desk top. Lastly, none of these companies would have such a moron in charge of such secret data on his fucking lap top carrying it around with him through a fucking college or university, and even if they did and they didn't, they would be burying his ass about right now for putting them at risk by having this data on a fucking wireless laptop. They would be more going after his dumb ass and burying him way more than they would the student. Lastly, lastly, he was lying. I bet the student was stupid enough to fall for it though, and once they did, their academic career was probably ruined.

[@ghost2coast296]

+Candlelight Mood Romeo Casanova Yes, also why would he tell the thief how they were looking for him? "You didn't disable windows or remove wireless card and we are tracking you". Yeah, real smart, tell the thief how to get away.

[@davidharris6356]

+Candlelight Mood Romeo Casanova man you talk some shit

[@Mareritt]

The transponder is still broadcasting?! Shit! I bet they didn't disable the flux capacitor either.

[@Clowncentral101]

Lmao

[@LvngBrd]

Or the particle accelerator

[@whyask5357]

I never returned it, nothing happened

[@iPhroggy]

this was 6 years ago..

[@michiman6757]

What does it being 6 years ago have anything to do with what the "why ask" guy said?

[@Vlad-rg8pt]

Why Ask lmfao!!!!

[@AustinPwnz1337]

Hahahahaha

[@AdolfKitler]

LOL - knew it.

[@nakkadu]

Never trust someone who first tells you how much danger you are in and then claims to be the one who can help you.

[@DoomSlayersNephew7270]

Unless it’s the Terminator. And hello from the future 🤖

[@joeschmo7957]

You mean like the government?

[@gabrielchavez6066]

So we shouldn't trust any lawyers?

[@DeceptseaN]

he made all this shit up cause he forgot to clear the history...

[@TheMr3booooood]

i would too

[@ckwunch8028]

He might well have made it up, however in the UK a stolen government laptop was recovered by the NSA of all people, simply by the duplication of a software key, he could well have read that story on the web and be making the rest up. That story was some time ago a minister left their laptop on a train, he had data relating to US security encrypted on the laptop. NSA step in, few days later laptop found by the duplication of a key by a defence companies software. That was the ONLY time i have EVER heard of the government getting involved above the police for stolen laptops.

[@phrenzy1]

+CK Wunch you should see how apple dealt with a lost and found case of an iPhone prototype. These things can turn ugly fast and if a fortune 500 company was involved and say data about successful clinical trial outcomes for an alzheimer drug was on there along with descriptions of the molecule, ROA and MOA were in there it really could be a 100 million dollar file. There would be Chinese biotech companies all over it and you better believe that any fortune 500 company knows how to get federal and international LEOs on the job. It was certainly delivered in an overly dramatic fashion and there are plenty of ways to get it back without prints on it and anonymously, but the bigger question is why was a laptop with this vital national level importance data on it left out somewhere it could just be picked up, with windows on it, without additional security and file encryption since this person was seemingly able to pick it up and start using it, we know this since he was using the same copy of windows, it's not like he swapped out the hdd or formatted tree existing one and started running Linux on it, Microsoft wanted to know why there were two copies of windows running simultaneously. If it's a 100 million dollar laptop then it needs a $20 laptop lock, or better yet don't bring it to class, that's obviously something to be left at home or in the office and secured. It's at least partly on the professor who should have been as strict with himself before hand so that a situation like this couldn't actually happen in the first place.

[@terrywilder9]

+phrenzy1 Either that or possibly the cure for forgetting where you put your laptop:)

[@TwinkieLORD-33]

Sean J he was looking up naked boys he's full of shit

[@Beowulf-eg2li]

"I'll take data from the transpoder wifi magnifier chronosphere and duplicate the access code and run a coroutine in C# to find your exact location"

[@Clowncentral101]

Lmfao

[@TupacMakaveli1996]

Lolllll

[@joejunk8770]

The only hundred million dollar file this man has is google chrome.

[@nialljamesbuckley]

he obviously left it on top of his prius that morning when he drove to work

[@JoHnNyV5432]

L

[@TheArtofUTube]

O

[@TheArtofUTube]

L

[@ericjohnson4877]

Funniest YT comment all time! Ha ha ha ha ha!

[@alm5966]

He's bluffing. If he genuinely had such sensitive data he wouldn't have it on a laptop he leaves lying around in an education establishment.

[@cooldude2251]

later it was found he misplaced it at Starbucks.

[@raymondkanbar3041]

really?

[@SkuIIKn1ght]

For whom he is also a consultant.

[@JBrander]

This guy sounds like his computer holds the nuclear launch codes, company secrets for the cure for cancer, and highly detailed profiles of the heads of all criminal organizations of the world

[@SuperBairman]

it's funny cause if all of that stuff was true he'd already be in some government black site and no one would ever hear from him again.

[@OkayNiceOne]

"I am gone all week." At that point I knew this was a bullshit bluff.. "I'm leaving even though I know millions upon millions of dollars of data is insecure." Bull fucking shit.

[@gobblenater]

He personally wasn't losing anything it was all data belonging to companies he was working for. He had no obligation to go after this person or personally secure the data that was stolen from him. He was just offering the person who stole it a way to save their skin while also saving him the hassle of getting a new computer. I'm sure a new computer would be covered by the university regardless so it's not a real big deal to him.

[@OkayNiceOne]

gobblenater He is the one responsible for the computer. It wouldn't look good at all for him to leave just after the computer was stolen while it was in HIS position, especially sitting on his desk with all that information on it.

[@gobblenater]

NickRand It's not his data and it's (probably) not even his computer. Yes, it looks bad that he didn't secure it but he has no personal obligation to track down and arrest the guy that stole it. His offer was made out of minor convenience, not obligation.

[@XxzephyrusxX1]

Well here's where you're wrong. When a company hands you an assignment, much like when you're handed anything else in life, you're responsible for it. It is HIS responsibility to make sure the files are safe. Let me put things into perspective here for you so you understand. Say that the activation of a nuclear head requires two unique/one of a kind keys, which are both held by two different people. Now assume that one of them loses one of the keys. Do you think that he can just say "Well you trusted the key to me, however since it belongs to you, it's your responsibility not mine."? No. Similarly, if a friend told you to keep an eye on his dog for a few days and you let it eat radioactive spiders and become spiderdog, it's again your responsibility. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility, my dear padawan.

[@XxzephyrusxX1]

I am replying to gobblenater but for some reason it's not quoting him...

[@quickpickle]

Should have just said it was Liam Neesons laptop.

[@justinmartin4662]

***** Yeah, I would like him to come to my house so that actor can see what real guns sound like.

[@quickpickle]

Justin Martin omg.. justin is the real lian neeson

[@OldManPaxusYT]

***** Still laughing Bwhaahahahahahahahaha Thanks!

[@michalus09]

***** F.U. Guys, I just google, Liam Neeson's laptop. hehehhaha

[@theemptybucket]

The teacher is the one who sounded scared to me, lol . .probably because the FBI, the CIA, the Justice League, Power Rangers and all these other government agencies so desperately tracking this laptop are going to ream him for leaving it laying around to be stolen, lol. Kids take note . .if they could bust you, they would've already.

[@timhanby5662]

Banjo Steve lmao yes

[@andrewwells6323]

You don't get in trouble for having your laptop stolen.

[@Clowncentral101]

U think this old ass college professor really has all this top secret shit on his laptop? What he said about Microsoft calling him doesn't even make any sense

[@andrewwells6323]

Austin C.M. He’s a consultant. Yes, governmental organisations consult with experts. Who the hell else are they going to consult with?

[@Clowncentral101]

@@andrewwells6323 you're an idiot

[@florida12341000]

if the data was THAT critical then why the fuck did he not take better precautions on protecting his pc?

[@TheGreatSeraphim]

Because every word out of his mouth is a lie. He's trying to scare the person into turning themselves in hoping they are dumb. But he over sold it so hard that you'd have to be a complete idiot to turn yourself in.

[@marcusd9192]

Ha, Im not even through his speech and thats the very first thing I thought!

[@mperdue12]

I want you as my fashion consultant. I think you may hold the secrete of why my life has gone so wrong.

[@andywood375]

It was just a set up to get the student to return the laptop. 1) Data that sensitive would never be left on a laptop lest it be stolen or lost. 2) There would be no way to identify with 100% certainty the student that took it. If the thief had any common sense, he/she would have returned it anonymously (e.g. by mail).

[@DonDon-ob9lu]

It had to be returned by 11:55 am.

[@chewface]

I bet $100 his computer had a folder labeled "kids" on it. Filled with things you can't even begin to imagine.

[@pezpeculiar9557]

You probably lost $100

[@pezpeculiar9557]

chewface I probably don't. If I did I'd be having a lot of babies with birth defects and probably a dead baby which would send me to court and jail.

[@MasterDeanarius]

+wowitsbryce wait... what?

[@pezpeculiar9557]

MasterDeanarius Read the other replies

[@crabtrap]

+chewface just getting ready to type the EXACT same thought. that laptop was riddled with kiddie porn!

[@petemangum4542]

HE'S BULLSHITTING.

[@smokinamron5943]

+UndeadProductionsCo yeah, just like the Secretary of State wouldn't.......just because you wouldn't, doesn't mean they wouldn't. cheers

[@smokinamron5943]

+elephantrider78 thank you, glad someone recognizes that!

[@danielclausen4939]

Yea, cause at the beginning he said the guy was smart to cover his tracks. And if they knew who he was, they obviously pick him up, cause this man is distraught.

[@lisag4955]

exactly what I thought.

[@drygnfyre]

To be fair, Jasper Rine is a pretty well known and respected professor.

[@DarknessLPs]

I'm an IT Systems Administrator, I've installed the same version of windows with the same key accidentally multiple times due to an imaging error and I didn't get ANY calls from Microsoft because they don't care and they have automation in place to kill the duplicate versions. You can't GPS a laptop if it's not connected to WiFi, unless you previously installed software which allowed you track it you wouldn't be able to get any sort of location data at all, even then, it would only notify you if the computer was powered on and connected to a WiFi or Ethernet connection and only if the person hadn't deleted the software before powering on the computer. This group of students would have to be idiots to believe anything about this situation.

[@ATHORNFAM2]

Same. I wouldn't have even turned it on until I got back to my place. I would have then cloned it into a vm and restricted outside access.

[@EggiTheShadow]

Maybe the transponder is not a piece of software rather a piece of hardware added to the motherboard and works off its own battery like the computer's internal clock does and emits a uhf radio signal which allows them to pinpoint the location of the computer by gps, in that case the computer doesn't have to be connected to the internet and it doesn't even have to be on for the transponder to still work... the situation is plausible especially if the computer (supposedly) has information as sensitive as he described in there

[@catlover1986]

There are definitely transponder services and hardware, no questions asked. There are internal wireless (phone service) based signals too. You used to have laptops that were internet capable all the time, so coupled with GPS... However, this guy clearly didn't have one.

[@mrsquishyboots]

professor was made to apologize. He left it in another teachers office between the two rooms.

[@kyleromus6845]

mrsquishyboots Is that really true?!

[@Rossstewart88]

@@kyleromus6845 hahaha no

[@kyleromus6845]

@@Rossstewart88 ah that sucks. Would have been funny as hell if it was.

[@yuriorlov5959]

haha BAddass dude is probably the one who filmed this professor with his own laptop

[@lafondawilliams]

Yuri Orlov while still on the schools network

[@kaix9x]

it turned out he left his computer in the car.

[@1ironaut538]

I just had some extreme déja vu

[@assmane999]

+Higgs Boson I have seen this happen so many times: someone loses something, can't thorough find it anywhere, assumes it must be stolen, starts accusing people, and then finds it in some simple-to-find place. I hate those kinds of people that are so suspicious of others before the do a completely thorough search.

[@thehorseformerlywithoutana2522]

+assmane999 I believe what you just said is a perfect example of Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice, that which can be attributed to stupidity". Although I'm pretty sure his laptop was actually stolen. He wouldn't go through all this nonsense if he simply misplaced it. He is however lying through his teeth about all the evidence he has on the culprit. The way he was talking about it, he made it sound like he already knew who it was. If he did, then he wouldn't need to address the entire class about it.

[@assmane999]

AHorseWithNoName Yes, that razor thing seems to sum up what I was saying. And, yeah, the guy was spewing so much bullshit that it was embarrassing. He has important trade secrets for a fortune 500 company that he's a board-member of. Yeah, I'm sure a multi-millionaire would waste his time as a professor.

[@tomtonka1915]

+Higgs Boson Yeah but his car got stolen and his car is made of secret flying car technology worth 200million .

[@stulop]

if his computer was that important, he should have secured his shit. criminal neglect on his part.

[@jacktaylor1516]

The problem is that his computer had all kinds of crazy porn on it and he was terrified of getting exposed lol.

[@mannagarwal5390]

Yeah man... He gotta have some kind of crazy porn on there to go batshit like that.

[@greatloverofmusic1]

Lmao 😅

[@milspecammo]

We gunna find you, now go and tell that; homeboy, homeboy, homeboy!

[@tomtonka1915]

+MilSpecAmmo You don't have to come and confess , we're lookin' for you

[@nuckelheddjones6502]

+Will Smith Which means they have NOTHING and he has NO security built into the laptop for recovering it should it be stolen and someone actually connects to the internet with it. There is NO secret shit on it and if their were this ass hats career would be OVER. He is lying because he was stupid and let his laptop with the tests get stolen. NO one worth a damn would EVER have secret info on a laptop they use for everyday class material. And IF this moron did , and he let it get stolen, then he is done for life ANYWHERE. That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard.

[@parsoniareigns]

+Nuckelhedd Jones ....100 percent bro n jones. this prof has just advertised that his own careless negligence makes him incompetent and unreliable

[@milspecammo]

They be climbing in your windows, snatching your laptops up...

[@hfontanez98]

+MilSpecAmmo Since this was uploaded in 2010, I am guessing the Windows they climbed thru was Windows 7

[@thescientificdodo6075]

Don't think that they ever found the guy.

[@randallgoguen3463]

+The Scientific Dodo I guess he wasn't an idiot.

[@SECguy06]

+Alex Lotz your dead on..they had no idea who it was lol

[@bugaljuice]

+The Scientific Dodo he went to club fed. lol

[@unit1327787]

if what you're saying is true than the professor is the one who got owned

[@seangorman8888]

No hes rich and holds a gov position

[@imsa15463]

There was a story in the news about this incident. Not only was this professor full of shit, he never saw that kaptop again. All these threats were an attempt to intimidate the person he believed stole his laptop. Eye witnesses? a partail image of the thief? all horseshit. The only thing he says that is 100 % true is that his laptop was stolen.

[@YouOnlyIiveTwice]

Chances are that person wasn't even in the class. If I'm going to be dumb enough to resort to stealing a professor's laptop hoping the test will be on it, I'm not showing up to class anymore.

[@Tbird197]

easiest way to get caught. obviously you just show up like nothing ever happened.

[@YouOnlyIiveTwice]

Well yeah if they took attendance, but most college lecture classes are so big that that never happens.

[@justelvin]

seems to me like that professor is in some hot water!

[@nuckelheddjones6502]

IF IT WAS TRUE HE SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN. HE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN IT BACK IF HE HADN'T TRIED TO GO OVER THE TO WITH THE ALPHABET AGENCIES THREAT. BUT HE GAVE IT AWAY IN THE VERY FIRST SENTENCE WHEN HE CLAIMED THEY WERE TRACING IT WITH A TRANSPONDER. FUCKING IDIOT. (THE PROF) I BET HE GAVE THAT SPEECH TO EVERY CLASS THAT DAY.

[@pustulio81]

Ha!, that's exactly what I was thinking. He's at risk for a worse punishment, if any if this was true. Leaving the computer in an unsecured location, and leaving the files unencrypted. Sounds like he doesn't take his work very seriously lol

[@onee]

So, let's be clear. @0:59 So, they were able to track down exactly were the signal of the computer came from, but they weren't able to find the thief... Uh-huh, that totally sounds believable.

[@noch21Gramm]

is he talking to an empty classroom? or why do i hear no laughs?

[@Konagalvo1]

The scariest thing i took away from this is....There are complete lunatics teaching our children. And the kicker....Getting paid to do it.

[@karmamatic1584]

Plot twist: The guy recording stole the computer.

[@PirateDogAMV]

Pingu The Penguin i love pingu i even sub haha

[@sneakybeaver2625]

20 minute later, "oops I left it in my car"

[@cookydoh8687]

"If you have my computer, you are in possession of all my Child Pornography. And possessing that will be a serious charge against you."

[@oscarvanderschaaf8975]

Nice bluff, here's my re-raise.

[@ru8enV]

-Installed the same version of Windows on a different Computer...License wouldn't even work and will give an error that it's been used. - Transponder on a laptop..bwahahhahahahahaa - 100 Million dollar file that he keeps in a non secure laptop...Yeah buddy, I think YOU would be in trouble before anyone else would be. If someone says they have incriminating evidence against you, but haven't turned you in because they are "waiting for you to do the right thing and confess before things get even more serious" chances are they are bullshitting and can't prove anything so they are hoping you take the bait. Professor was just pissed and hoping someone would cave.

[@onee]

He also said that they were able to track down exactly were the signal came from. So, why didn't they caught the thief already...

[@curiouscreature99]

Seriously. Textbook coercion. It can be a very successful technique. Surely more effective than just asking someone to be honest.

[@curiouscreature99]

***** Shut up, moron.

[@davemarx7856]

+curiouscreature99 ? 😂

[@curiouscreature99]

***** sorry

[@Frabjous1]

I imagine the smell of feces was quite strong in that room

[@bearmassaro]

Frabjous It was the bullshit coming out of that guy's mouth.

[@Frabjous1]

^This man gets it. All the same, the thief could've believed it.

[@mattb6039]

Frabjous Overblown attempt to get the thief to turn himself in. But if the guy's dumb enough to steal a computer to cheat on a test, maybe he fell for it.

[@Yatsura2]

next he tells us how James Bond will blow the thief with a missile into the sun? woohooohohoho, so scary!

[@greywolf187]

just so people know, he was saying aloud of bull, it was just a scare tactic, i think there was an article about it, he also never got his laptop back

[@jordanf8326]

The kid has a gold mine!!! Fuck it, sell that shit!!!

[@jeste4187]

Dude, to whom? And how?

[@maritimemisfits3360]

They literally just told them who it belongs to, so whoever their competition is

[@jeste4187]

Because RaceCar I don't think you get it. That is not the type of thing that you just walk up to a guy and say "hey, you want this?". Unless you're dealing with Justin Hammer, you're going to fail HARD if you try to sell something like that. I'd just give it back. Unless you have the expertise, connections, savvy, intelligence to outwit the FBI and possibly the CIA, as well as no ties to friends or family, then you need to give up, but let's indulge your fantasy for a moment: Given if what this guy says is true, how the fuck are you going to disable the transponder signal? Three options exist. One, you or someone else disables it. Hopefully you're a genius because if you get someone else in on this, you're going to lose money, time, and percentage of chance of getting away clean as now you have a loose end, so better decide on how you want to kill this guy or girl that helped you because if you don't, you're taking a big chance that the Feds won't cut that person a deal, because if they do, your ass is ratted out instantly. Option two, you tell the buyer that the merchandise may be tracked as well as hot. Taking another big chance as they might just rat you out to avoid some sort of espionage charge, or they have leverage over you and now can name their price, drastically reducing what you'd get if you took option three, which is the riskiest option because it entails you having that perfect sell, getting a ton of cash, but you left out one little caveat: the transponder. So, they don't know until they get raided, and you my friend are fucked every which way if you aren't out of the country and living somewhere with no extradition treaties with the USA. Did you remember to set up your account with Banque de Suiss? Do you know the subtle nuances of hiding capital? Are you prepared for something to possibly happen to your loved ones because you ripped off 9 figures? So......what's YOUR plan?

[@maritimemisfits3360]

Anthony Palumbo I don't need a plan since I'm not him, you're overthinking that a little haha

[@jeste4187]

Because RaceCar if you think that is overthinking, then you wouldn't make a very good criminal.

[@The_yeffy1]

What class was this? Bullshitting 238?

[@HNK-ln7hq]

He probably lost the laptop himself and is intentionally blaming it on a student so the university doesn't fire him lol

[@allee6096]

"just delete my browser history.."

[@HermannTheGreat]

So basically the professor is liable for losing possession of such valuable information. Wonder if he lost his job/tenure over losing this research and not having a backup.

[@oprex1]

Why would he lose his job? Should I lose my job if someone steals my company car?

[@HermannTheGreat]

oprex1 Two entirely different situations. You own the car company, he doesn't own the proprietary information he "pretended" to have. If he had information he was responsible to protect(which he didn't), he would be fired and or prosecuted if he admitted losing it. Btw he never got his laptop back.

[@kaosum2]

That laptop is probably in a landfill by now.

[@TomJesper]

The issue isn't that he doesn't have a backup from what I hear in his speech. The issue is the theft of the data NOT the loss of the data. He said he installed the same copy of windows, meaning likely his laptop was backed up to a high degree, likely on campus servers - I know my university does this, storing everything under professor-determined encryption keys.

[@cal2904]

He probably does have a backup if what hes talking about it true The main issue was with the data being spread, hence copying

[@jamesgray7064]

Where was the "owned"? If they knew who took it, they would just grab the person. Now because of all of his babble, the computer will probably end up at the bottom of a river, destroying all of his sensitive data.

[@jopickett4306]

The whole thing is a fake to get his computer back. Smart.

[@jamesgray7064]

***** Educated guess. Admitting you took a computer with confidential gov't info on it would mean more than a failing grade. Safest thing to do would be to throw it in a river.

[@luiscesarvianagomes970]

James Gray he did say they knew who it was, they had a image of the person and eye witnesses

[@wesleyhempoli5548]

James Gray just because a computer has sensitive data on it does not, I repeat *does not*, make it any more of a crime. What's sensitive to one person is meaningless to another. Data is data. Its intellectual property without a finite value. This professor or guest speaker was completely bluffing, albeit a good bluff, its a bluff none-the-less. This is a simple theft and nothing more. The FBI, CIA, NASA, SEC, FTC, US MARSHALS, you-name-it, nobody but the chief geek and campus cops give a fuck about the laptop...

[@matts1546]

Now that I made my announcement, let's get back to Basketweaving 101. Did anyone finish the extra credit scrapbooking project I assigned?

[@jarvisferrell3172]

Legend has it he's still waiting on the theif to confess.

[@Satakarnak]

Prof Ecrypt your data.

[@Satakarnak]

And Sent him in an Opsec Class.

[@puppetsock]

The data he describes should be on a computer that is bolted down, located in a lab with a secure lock equal to the task, and physically prevented from such things as USB keys, writing a DVD, or connection to a net. Such as not having any ports for such things. It should not be on a laptop.

[@kylesucks3432]

encrypt, not ecrypt.

[@Pacifistrapist]

Doesn't help if they have physical access to the disk.

[@TheCrathes]

+Diglettoss Toss Yes it does. Do you not know how data encryption works?

[@utustut]

I would have just raised my hand and asked: "So if you've already tracked the signal, why haven't you gone and got it back yet?"

[@mckenna8663]

Wait... they have a (partial) image... and yet he needs to talk to everyone in the class?

[@lastofusclips5291]

yeah, that was definitely a clue to the prof's BS

[@bikeshmalla2490]

he just wanted every one to know how important he is

[@viperz888]

Terrible bluff.

[@mesleepy1032]

The teacher was smart enough to try this method. The teacher wasn't smart enough to catch the thief. The teacher wasn't smart enough to keep his computer. The teacher did a bad job. The teacher loses.

[@dlysele]

+mesleepy103 Well, at least he the excuse to buy a new lappy now. Like, one of those ultra thin SSD only lappy.

[@88wentworth]

+mesleepy103 How do you know the outcome of this,are you the thief?

[@dianalee84]

That's called "blaming the victim "

[@88wentworth]

+dianalee84 So what do you call it when they are found guilty in court? Who gives a shit what it's called, if you steal and you're found guilty how does that make you a victim? You just deserve all you get if you break the law,that's why we have laws.

[@RogerBarraud]

+mesleepy103 If you were after the Seuss job, *you* lose :-/

[@NoXiousBLD]

NIH would have a field day knowing that private secure information was ever stored on a local laptop. This type of secure data should always be saved on servers and accesed through a VPN. Having worked with NIH, this professor should be heavily fined if he did such a thing.

[@MuertoGonzalez]

“I have contacted UCF Professor Richard Quinn to do a forensic analysis on the data of the files on the stolen computer. We expect to have that data done by the end of the week”

[@zee339]

if I stole his computer, I'd steal his replacement too just to spite him

[@paintur68]

Why is he boring his students with his personal problems? Who cares?

[@paintur68]

Modokun How can you steal from the campus? Wasn't it stolen from him? It is in fact a personal problem. What a pretentious bore.

[@paintur68]

Modokun Learn how to write. :-D

[@paintur68]

Modokun Me tok prettee.

[@almostapotato7235]

+paintur68 Cool

[@noevilea8370]

+paintur68 you don't listen too well do you buddy ? I suggest putting this video on loop and listening till you understand the facts. Idiot.

[@kimjong-un1136]

The teacher made aware what a gold mine this person has. Now to put it on WikiLeaks. Mwahaha.

[@bieberninja1]

i thought the student was going to come crying to the professor running down the stairs begging for forgiveness, how is this the biggest owned? it's just some guy name dropping law enforcement entities.....does anyone actually believe the cops or fbi would send a professor to do their job?

[@andrewwells6323]

He's got classified information worth millions ... yeah I think they would.

[@bieberninja1]

wells, andrew....shut up

[@andrewwells6323]

@@bieberninja1 no

[@Clowncentral101]

@@bieberninja1 lmao

[@cenzi42]

It's unacceptable that the lecturer didn't encrypt this data, nor did take acceptable measures to secure the laptop from being stolen.

[@shannon7733]

Yeah, how dare that professor be the victim of a crime.

[@markmshockey1769]

i think he is in way more trouble for leaving something like that lying around.....

[@anonymous2513456]

if that data is as good as he says it is, the thief would do better to sell it on than give it back. In any case, storing that kind of data on a mobile laptop, unsecured and unencrypted is a mistake which raises questions regarding the expertise of the original owner and his suitability for the positions he cited.

[@Clowncentral101]

It fake doe

[@ILLFilms]

The kid ended up getting caught. The student's name was Albert Einstein.

[@user-wj5cx2zp7v]

If all that he said was true, then the FBI/cops would have found the laptop already and the person responsible would already be in a cell.

[@GQPREPPER]

Sensitive government and corporate data on a non-secured system? If thats true and that data is sensitive enough to have federal agencies involved, then the professor is in just as much trouble as the thief. Tracking down an indvidual system on your wifi network? Improbable in a colege environment. I wish that was the case as that would make my job easier. Best they can do is log what MAC adresses connect to what access points and get a general area. That takes into consideration that the Professor or someone in their IT department knows the MAC address of the stolen laptop (and I would bet good money they don't). Good job on making things sound legit and scary, but it is 100% BS. Next time, deploy some real security. Use disk encryption and a theft recovery option like LoJack.

[@maconsumner]

+GQ Prepper Yes if this was classified material owned by the government on a laptop, I have a hard time believing he didn't know that using that laptop for any other purpose than official government business is a violation of security protocol. That it was stolen is all you need to know to realize he screwed up bad. Information for his class should not be on that government approved machine and whenever he is not using it, it should be locked up or at least in it's bag where he never leaves it unattended. He should not be sending or receiving private Email and should never send Email of a classified or FOUO on any machine other than a classified machine and a official government Email account. That is of course, unless he is Hilary Clinton.

[@boxingbrenno]

+GQ Prepper school em!

[@cheesitz007]

+GQ Prepper If your wireless card is set to a network it is always sending out a request to be identified by that network, it sends out information identifying that computer. If there is one on wireless router on campus, they can tell when the thief is near it, if there are multiple they can map out where you went. If it's set to connect with the schools network then it's even easier because it shows up much on the network. You just might have to be a little smart.

[@cheesitz007]

+maconsumner Haha, it isn't illegal to use a computer with any of the information he claimed for separate purposes. Wow guy you like making up shit.

[@maconsumner]

cheesitz007 hmm, I was military for 20 years and work for the government now, but I don't know what I am talking about or am making shit up? Hmm, okay,

[@GanimGolf]

Legend has it the transponder is still broadcasting a signal.

[@joerogaine3093]

The FBI, NSA, Ironman, and Liam Neeson will find you.

[@Ultradude604]

And the teacher never sees his computer ever again.

[@FlyUnicornsFly]

Sounds like a bluff to me. I DO want any thieves out there to be caught, punished and humiliated, but it sounds like the professor is just trying to sweat out the perpetrator.

[@HCPACstage]

I agree with you.

[@thxman1968]

***** That wasnt a bluff..

[@pingpong2456]

***** i agree, if he knew who did it he would just go get him

[@VFHeanski]

***** A tried and true tactic. It works for the police. If they don't come forward someone might give them up. Pisses people off when they work hard for an exam and someone else is cheating on it.

[@juandiamante46]

***** But it WAS a pretty damned good bluff. More than enough to sweat a college student, I bet.

[@10RRASK]

By ‘very interested in this’ he means he sent an email to them and still has yet to hear back.

[@evanprest6224]

translated: "You are in possession of massive child porn."

[@billfoster7951]

bluffing

[@jordanf8326]

Big time. There is no way the NIH would allow an individual to bring this type of data on a laptop

[@Frzenflme]

+GHQ Recon lol

[@jordanf8326]

***** REPEAT!

[@oli0808]

I imagine it's illegal to give information to a suspect about their own pending investigation? Not to mention the idiocy of detailing the valuable contents of the laptop lol.

[@YoureAPillock]

LMFAOOOO!!!! Oooohhh mate you win the internet for the day. Holy fuck that was good.

[@blackhearts8354]

You're a college professor and you don't encrypt your laptop? I hope he got fired

[@justinj3340]

"so basically, I put sensitive information on an unsecured personal laptop"

[@bear1568]

"Oooh, I'm soooo scared!" Bite me, "professor."

[@soulchorea]

Whoever stole it is actually the winner, because now they know they hit the jackpot with all that awesome confidential data they can sell

[@notimelikethepresent4739]

'Biggest "BLUFF" Ever!!!!' Fixed.

[@richardburchett]

If there really is that kind of sensitive information on that laptop, then he's in a lot bigger trouble than the person that stole it.

[@orhun2062]

Outcome: pc still mising to this day and professor got owned :)

[@fp2231]

wait till he realizes "oh wait I left it at starbucks"

[@Joao42]

so who got owned? the teacher yes?

[@setoman1]

Such an elaborate story! I don't think I could have come up with something that good.

[@albertbatfinder5240]

"We've traced the transponder signal. It's coming from inside the building."

[@nomadicfanatic]

Titled, "Biggest Owned Ever" - and nobody was ever "owned" at all. Just a bunch of scare tactics. Fail.

[@DONTworryIgotTHIS]

In case no one already knew, the teacher was making all of that up.

[@arserobinson7118]

He forgot to mention he was still logged into Netflix on his laptop

[@Arthur-hg7ny]

Leave it to the biologist’s (look at the board) to have to go through all of this. CS would have had the computer back in 10 minutes. Never send a biologist to do the work of a computer engineer.

[@justinmat9952]

ok why the hell is info that important on a laptop so easy to get