Bill Bailey's Worst Job As A Session Musician | Late Night with Conan O’Brien

(Original airdate: 12/20/02) Bill Bailey jokes about Immigration & Customs in the United States, working as a session musician, and performs a piece inspired by "the wisdom of George W. Bush and the powerful sounds of drum and bass." Experience the "Best Of Stand-Up From Conan" on our podcast hosted by CONAN writer Laurie Kilmartin. Only on Stitcher Premium: www.stitcherpremium.com/conan
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Running from 1993-2009, Late Night with Conan O’Brien is one of the most beloved late night shows in television history. Known for its absurdist humor, hilarious celebrity interviews and featuring the best stand-up comedians and musical acts of the 90’s and early 2000s. Hosted by Conan O’Brien alongside sidekick Andy Richter and house band Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7, Late Night with Conan O’Brien featured unforgettable segments like “If They Mated,” “In the Year 2000,” “Desk Driving” and made a breakout star of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
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Team Coco is the KZbin home for all things Conan O’Brien and the Team Coco Podcast Network. Team Coco features over 25 years of comedy sketches, celebrity interviews and stand-up comedy sets from CONAN on TBS and Late Night with Conan O’Brien, as well as exclusive videos from podcasts like Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Literally! with Rob Lowe, Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer, The Three Questions with Andy Richter, May I Elaborate? with JB Smoove and Scam Goddess with Laci Mosley.
Bill Bailey's Worst Job As A Session Musician | Late Night with Conan O’Brien
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[@MrFreedomGotAnAK]

It's so rare for a comedian to do really well-thought out musical bits. Bailey is the best of the best.

[@annalieff-saxby568]

It's worth checking out BB's "Duelling Sitars".

[@annalieff-saxby568]

@rxp56 The difference is that Bill Bailey's music is not a "prop" but an integral part of his stage act. He's also extremely funny as an actor (Black Books, Saving Grace) and as a panelist (QI). He is not a simple "stand-up" comedian, nor has he ever been.

[@tomtalks23]

I like to think of Bill as a musician who tells jokes as opposed to a comedian who does songs.

[@Bart-tk9um]

rxp56 except Steve Martin

[@bakedbeings]

And Rolf the dog.

[@garrysmith1722]

"Fox hunting is still taught in British schools." They weren't sure, were they?

[@andy6576]

I bet they still aren't. Bless 'em...

[@laughingachilles]

@@andy6576 They probably won't understand how much of an insult "Bless 'em" is :P

[@andy6576]

@@laughingachilles I think you could be right...

[@trailersic]

"nervous laugh.... he's joking right?"

[@garrysmith1722]

@@trailersic Of course British, or more specifically English, children aren't taught Fox Hunting. In the more exclusive Schools, however, they are taught Peasant Shooting.

[@MrRanosama]

I love the fact that there's a guy in the audience laughing so much harder than most others.

[@caseyboi63]

That's the Host or Warm up guy - Audience are fed Carrots on Sticks in America LOL

[@mrmukura]

I saw Bill Bailey a few years ago and I was the guy who laughed too hard at the wrong places.. Bills got such a wide appeal, and I'm eternally grateful he doesn't forget about the wierdos

[@rockerseven]

Probably the one guy who actually gets British humor lol. I'm that type of guy. British humor is sadly not understood by many Americans.

[@glynth]

That's Bills dad

[@FrootKat]

It’s you, isn’t it.

[@BoutYoungAnnaLee]

Bill just won “Strictly come dancing” in the U.K. He’s something of a national treasure

[@mariacarter6954]

No kidding, even he can't believe it but he truly was amazing 😇😚😇

[@groverjuicy]

Global treasure! He's a credit to humanity.

[@GenePalmiter]

Is that going to change Rachel Reillys opinion of him?

[@GoldenOwlEvents]

Did he really? That is epic!

[@thechumpsbeendumped.7797]

@@GenePalmiter I don’t think she’ll allow jealousy to overcome the crush she has on him. 😉

[@huliobeebop]

Obersturmbanfuhrer Schwarzwaldkuche??! So apparently Colonel Blackforestgateau is on the loose in Paraguay

[@saschamayer4050]

Legend has it that he still lumbers about in the woods, somewhere.

[@bloodspatteredguitar]

Except that while both kuche and gateau mean cake, the German for black forest gateau is Schwartzwaldekirschtorte, or black forest cherry tart (and I know it's not a tart, but the words are cognate)

[@attackpatterndelta8949]

I caught on to that as well.

[@DerEchteBold]

@@bloodspatteredguitar Ah, that means he actually translated the English word for the cake back into German, interesting!

[@AudieHolland]

AKA Obersturmbannführer *Schwarzwälder*

[@Grantrap]

The first 4 mins was an American audience trying to understand a language they forgot they spoke...

[@andy6576]

THIS!

[@AbsoluteAbsurd]

lmao

[@RestWithin]

Nice one! 👍🏻

[@michaeldearness607]

He’s the London philharmonic of comedians ….. …..

[@TimGreig]

I was wondering about the complete silence.

[@oliverholmes-gunning5372]

I love how at least three quarters of the audience took the fox hunting joke at face value

[@philiphudgens4726]

Yeah we don't really have "double fox hunting" lessons at school. ...& I spend my free time defending Americans ref the old stereotype that they don't understand irony! Oy vey.

[@arongooch]

@@philiphudgens4726 Ja ja ja ja ja

[@hawsrulebegin7768]

Always strange seeing a Brit comedian on a U.S. late show I get so nervous for them because often the audience just don’t get it.

[@jamesrowden303]

I think the undergraduate humour of Conan almost lends itself to Bill Bailey. Just not quite.

[@lillerosin2915]

terrible audience! every intelligent joke goes straight over their thick heads ...

[@efc4693]

I was thinking the exact same thing

[@scooterdooter]

This may come as a shock to you, but sometimes ... just sometimes ... the comedian _you_ think is funny is actually garbage.

[@bennylloyd-willner9667]

@@scooterdooter sure, but not in this case tho, at least not in my opinion. As a pro performer, he adapts his gig to the audience. I'm not saying he is "dumbing down" in the US, he just uses a slightly different comedy. When he performs in countries where English isn't the native language, he adapts to his audience too.

[@BudsRPGreview]

The Dalai Farmer himself.

[@ajivins1]

The wisdom of the rural Buddha!

[@StonyRC]

Oh Man, I LOVE that.

[@bennylloyd-willner9667]

Ahhh, I can almost feel the cheap cider trickling down my throat!

[@LettersAndNumbers300]

Good on ya Bill, thought the crowd wasn’t gonna get onboard for a while.

[@salubrious]

Yeah, it was a bit touch and go at the start alright.

[@AClassOldie]

That's because they got on keyboard..... Sorry I couldn't resist.

[@GR-kw1es]

yeah bad crowd tbh

[@romancandlefight1144]

Those audiences laugh when the sign flashes laugh... I wouldn't over think it..

[@johnmartinez7440]

@@romancandlefight1144 The intro work was also a bit weak

[@WhiskyCanuck]

I first read the title as his worst job as a session musician was *on* "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"

[@NZchannel_yt]

same here lol

[@intertr0ns]

Bill Bailey is an absolute legend.

[@jscotthatcher380]

i miss Black Books. such a good series.

[@fearnobeer9077]

So many good episodes

[@moonooze6171]

One of my favorite series

[@no_genius]

King Delevingne say her name, Hatsune Miku

[@iliadiliad6028]

Love it, I watch it at least once a year. Bills character was the best.

[@hayleyt8018]

Black Books was written only by Dylan Moran and no one else

[@SpielinWhelan]

His musical jokes are brilliant, his timing is impeccable, one of the greats

[@kirstygunn9149]

His live shows are awesome, saw him in Feb 2019 and he is just brilliant.

[@al201103]

I saw him a year or so ago (couldn't BELIEVE he came to do a show in Shanghai) and basically, from the moment he started until the end, my wife and I were belly-laughing the entire time. I agree with you 100% - just brilliant!!

[@SenorBolsa]

Drum and Bush, love it surprisingly aged well.

[@cosscomp]

Bill Bailey is a legend. He is like the awkward dad that everyone loves.

[@residentgrey]

My one friend is like is weird younger brother. I kept seeing my friend instead while watching Black Books for the first time, blown away by the likeness and the style of humor. Bill is truly a treat!

[@AviViljoen]

Maybe like yours.

[@mk1st]

Watching in 2019: "I'm a big fan of your president". Plenty of material there for Don & Bass

[@berkpick]

President DrumBass

[@kane2742]

Or Dumb & Bass.

[@iamchris1000]

surely trum n bass?

[@benimanah]

Trump up? Drumpf and bass?

[@grimTales1]

Been thinking he could do an update with Trump quotes

[@adamdrummer1991]

I was once asked by the US customs chappy in Dallas Fort Worth “what’s in the guitar case?” Bare in mind it was a hiscox style tweed flat guitar case, I was tempted to say a mouth organ, but I offered politely to open the case, which I did. The big shock was when my briefcase went though full of guitar cables and a usb interface and laptop I will never forget the woman going “BAG CHECK!!!!! SECURITY....”

[@StevenMillward]

Bill Bailey: "I'm a big fan of your president." me: *checks airdate nervously*

[@heisenberg69]

Me too!

[@MrQuakeroat]

Haha, yes, and me!

[@ronmastrio2798]

You might wanna calibrate your sarcasm sensor.

[@shmookins]

Watch him sing Old Macdonald : kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHfMhqycl96dmKM

[@nickbuckman6765]

Bill Bailey: Into the Hornery

[@HaydenX]

People born the same day this aired will be a legal adult in the U.S. next year...this has been Father Time, reminding you of the ever-approaching spectre of death.

[@Protagonist]

I'd like to cancel my appointment with death, it's at an inconvenient time. Is there any way I can push the date back to say...sometime next century?

[@joshuadramsey]

It gets worse. At some point you'll hear that and you'll be like, "Oh, is that all? I thought it was way longer ago!"

[@al201103]

Cake please

[@MCVessels]

And the ever-receding spectre of birth! I'm quite happy to put that undignified event behind me.

[@vagga2u14]

This was like two years before I was born...

[@user-yv2cz8oj1k]

I'm surprised he kept the same set he used in his English act, excellent.

[@Euphoriasmotion2011]

Black books episode where Bill learns piano..... Hilarious.

[@wenwen9041]

Love him!!! He’s so funny and cute. Manny, get me a bottle of wine!!

[@mg5347]

And a pickle? +Drunk happy face+

[@rebeccawest1912]

Splishy splashy come on! 😆😆😆

[@gronxman1]

Brilliant!! I LOL'd!! Incidentally 'Jazz Hunt' is a great name for a potential band.

[@dd7aa]

Comedy genius and classically trained musician.👍👍its a good mix.

[@chorusofoddities]

Am I the only one that wants a full Bush song based on that start?

[@iliadiliad6028]

Bill is an absolute genius, I truly enjoy every performance.😊

[@pamelah6431]

That Jazz Hunt bit was pure Eddie Izzard. 😂❤

[@JD.Knight]

I'd like to hear more about the mouse. 😂

[@brusselssprouts560]

Always quality to the highest degree.

[@garymcaleer6112]

Excellent that Conan had Bill on the show. Definitely a highlight...especially for us musicians. You may be sure that as a child, Bill adored Prokofiev's "Peter And The Wolf."

[@RichardM-kv4uu]

Bill Bailey is an actual comedy genius, but sometimes he's too clever for his audience!

[@beeble2003]

I don't think he was too clever. Actually, the opposite -- I love Bill Bailey but I think he chose his material for this set really badly. The stuff at the start, about US immigration, will make no sense to most Americans. Nobody knows about the details of entering their own country as a foreigner, because they've never done it. As foreigners, we find it funny to be asked if we're a Nazi, a terrorist of a spy; Americans have no idea what that form says. It would be exactly the same if an American comedian talked about UK immigration forms to a British audience. Basing a quarter of the set on the premise "hunting is bad" in a country where _a lot_ of people hunt isn't going to work. He also relies on the audience understanding what a British fox hunt is -- most Americans aren't going to have a clue about that. Then the part at the end is basically saying "Your leader sucks." Even assuming a somewhat left-leaning audience, a third of them will flat-out disagree; another third will kind of agree but feel defensive at being criticized by a foreigner. That's not going to come across well.

[@dorothy1]

I thought he chose quite well. Americans like any nation can know exactly what happens as an immigrant by simply going to any library in the nation. If they bothered. He did not say bush sucked and the hunti g bit from England, again try your local library, in the kids section.

[@beeble2003]

@@dorothy1 Sorry, where in the library can you find out about the forms that a foreign visitor has to fill in when entering the US? And, even if that information is easily available in libraries, why would anybody look it up? The question is not "can Americans find this stuff out?" Of course they can. The question is "do Americans know this stuff?"

[@richardharvey5835]

@@beeble2003 You miss the point, he's referring to their strict policy's on entering the country due to terrorism, something which at the time this aired was one of the biggest talking points in America, do the first segment is very topical for the time, the fox hunting bit I will agree with you, that one was a strange choice.

[@mymedia2251]

correction. He's too clever for the typical American

[@GoodWoIf]

The things different between american and British audiences that they'll laugh at are interesting. He got nothing for it here but in Britain the "Get the cat out of here Im working!" would get a laugh.

[@theclubvids]

im canadian and i half laughed at it

[@WorldNews92]

​@@theclubvids Yeah, but that's because you half-laughed at the "Écoutez et répétez" line as well.

[@Macca1000001]

A whole lot of generalising there.

[@DJT183]

And when he said "the hornery" you can see on Bills face for a second how surprised he is at the laugh

[@matteoj226]

I nearly fell off my chair at that bit

[@50pence59]

My favourite comedian. I always catch him when he is in town. Always entertaining...even on a bad day.

[@fangugel3812]

Great! Love him on QI!

[@ljnvmt95]

Awesome!!!

[@aciddementia]

great smart funny man, plays all the possible musical instruments. in love forever!

[@The_Butler_Did_It]

How times change, Bush seems like Bertrand Russell in comparison to who they have in charge now

[@chriskelly4659]

Old Bertrand he was a great prez

[@miaschu8175]

That actually made me lol. Almost glad not to have been out in public :/

[@YamiSphinx]

Love him on 'Would I lie to You?', that show cracks me up so much. XD

[@neilcoles1780]

Soooo good..the one and only Bill Bailey

[@erikmaronde2244]

Just discovered that gem. 🤘🖖Great humor and musicianship🎶🥰

[@chroniclesofstuntbucket3522]

As a United Statesian (of America) I've watched hours of Bill Bailey - it was great to hear the audience try to figure this guy out.

[@IcyGames]

Absolutely love Bill Bailey 😂😂😂

[@timtwotone3561]

I have been lucky enough to see Bill Bailey live. He is the consummate entertainer. Raconteur, comedian and brilliant musician! And he did not swear once! See him live if you get the opportunity.

[@phildirt3]

One of the great standups.

[@BrianHuntley]

I've been a fan of Bill for years, and never heard about him scoring children's cartoons. Now that I've seen this bit, I can't imagine a better person for the job!

He's tellin' the truth, smart guy, no dancing but fishing.

[@mistypoke6347]

I'm surprised he kept the same set he used in his English act, excellent.

[@user-ky6vw5up9m]

He won Dancing With Stars in UK

[@A_QuestioningSoul]

Inspirational 🙏🏽🙏🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Kevin-mx1vi]

A comic genius. Bill Bailey can find the comedy in anything. 😀

[@andyukh1625]

Absolute genius! Bill is one of kind, to many mad as a hatter but to those who appreciate comedy utterly brilliant 👏🏽

[@markywellsboy2182]

Bill Bailey. Legend.

[@sausagefruit7690]

Legendary.

[@donsurlylyte]

bill bailey is one of those who grow on you for sure- and a very intelligent and cultured man.

[@UncleT-wo2ny]

A rare genius. Well versed in classical music and music theory.

[@squirrel9544]

BILLY Bailey? BILLY????

[@Monkeyshaman]

The less handsome Bailey.

[@dsadberry]

The man is a living legend

[@Stixurmom]

My new hero.

[@TheRojman]

What a brilliant man!

[@hilanapieterse1693]

I love him. If he ever comes to South Africa I will borrow money to go watch his show.

[@kooper1683]

Bill Bailey 'dumbing down' for an American audience and still going over their heads.

[@K.R.O1875]

Ah, yes. How could people in a country responsible for producing Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Hicks, Norm Macdonald, Chris Rock, Louis CK, Bill Burr possibly understand this incredibly _sophisticated_ kind of humour, using music as punchlines. The plebs.

[@kooper1683]

@@K.R.O1875 Pretty sure Norm McDonald is Canadian but otherwise I get your drift. But tell me, how many of the comedians you named played musical instruments in their shows?

[@matthewphilip1977]

Evenin, Kooper. This, to me, seems like Bill doin his regular thing. I've seen him do the Bush bit to a British audience. Where do you think he's dumbed down?

[@matthewphilip1977]

@@K.R.O1875 You seen Norm Macdonald's final special? Just him, no audience. Very poignant.

[@silvagamb1806]

@@matthewphilip1977 I've seen all of Bill's tours and never in one has he done that Bush gag. If you can't see that he's dumbed down for the Yanks then you know nothing about him, a few KZbin clips doesn't suffice.

[@MotoTvWoodsFarm]

nice as always

[@margaritaiov330]

absolutely adore bill bailey.

[@EricPhilippiofficial]

thank you for the awesome words, love & recognition, I am captivated🙂. Where are you watching from?❤

[@layne182]

Love me some bill bailey.

[@MikeChimeri]

I remember watching this the night it aired. The pitch wheel part stuck out in my mind.

[@SuperFred001]

Bill is funny internationally true legend

[@shmaleb14]

Have bill on the podcast!

[@jordanpeakofficial]

LOVE BILL BAILEY

[@davidelkins9861]

LOVE BILL

[@adrianhallchannel]

"The West of England" ha ha.

[@herpsmaltwatta]

Carlisle? 🤔 Newquay? 🤔 Somewhere in the middle? 😂

[@aghastlyghost]

West c'untry

[@MingMangMao]

He’s a god amongst men.

[@thegoatchild3545]

The Useless Golfer OOOOUUUUUUUD!!!🙌

[@MingMangMao]

The Goat Child OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!

[@thegoatchild3545]

Eric Burkheimer You forgot Dylan Moran....careful!😉

[@thegoatchild3545]

Eric Burkheimer you should definitely look him up. He’s a truly brilliant irish veteran comedian, and he played Bernard in Black Books.

[@GoggledAgog]

​@@thegoatchild3545 you'd put him on a list of "comedians who make their rounds on [...] panel shows"?

[@SavageBunnyGetMoney]

I remember him from Spaced that's so cool

[@leorewinski7768]

This was filmed a few months after spaced ended

[@SavageBunnyGetMoney]

@@leorewinski7768 I love how he was talking about punching a random person in the face for saying Hawk the Slayer is rubbish and then he reveals he punched his dad in the face 😹😹😹😹

[@al201103]

I think that's where I first encountered him too! He actually had his own TV show before Spaced, but I missed it completely. "So what you're saying is, dump your boyfriend...have a sandwich!"

[@KaBoomChannel]

He has an incredible voice. He reminds me of the voice of Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull

[@akshaydarekar1991]

I can see why Rachel stalks him, he's brilliant!

[@AngelicusImmortus]

😂😂😂 so was so embarrassed about it 😂😂😂😂

[@PiglipsMaximus]

Musical legend

[@discopantsandhaircuts1135]

Bill is one of my fave funny humans

[@EricPhilippiofficial]

thank you for the awesome words, love & recognition, I am captivated🙂. Where are you watching from?❤️

[@discopantsandhaircuts1135]

@@EricPhilippiofficial Sydney, Australia

[@EricPhilippiofficial]

Australia is a great Nation! Have you been to any concert of mine

[@discopantsandhaircuts1135]

@@EricPhilippiofficial no, hope to one day. Was a fan of black.books too!

[@EricPhilippiofficial]

Great to know that! Hopefully soon I will see you in my concert. I do like to know you more though ! Can you text me on mail

[@louisd100]

Love bill !

[@Nebucanezzer]

I lot of subtlety in Bills humour and clever weird meanderings. Yet the Americans seem to react the biggest when he pretends to smoke a joint doing the cartoon music. America has produced some of the worlds finest comedy actors and writers but I don't think USA was ready for Bill at that time. Glad he is still successful and recently danced to Enter Sandman on Strictly Come Dancing last week.

[@Ephisus]

I really couldn't place the first president gag initially, without looking at the date, pretty much applies to the last 30 years.

[@charliehills1005]

Should be Bill in the title, not Billy

[@erkkamykkanen]

Oh you don't know him? Us friends call him Billy.

[@KenTheAdventurer]

Billy!

[@Yahootie]

Billybillybillybillybillybillybillybillybilly ect.

[@moxm5521]

@@Yahootie You are flat

[@SmugSuspenders]

@@moxm5521 Nice one 👌

[@876r876rf]

That was great

[@LunarX100]

Bailey is a charm! As for the fox hunters.....anything that causes a few broken hips is a must.

[@marceloadelar]

black books ❤️

[@amzytheking]

I like that he made the Osama Bin Laden joke roughly 5 months after 9/11. Madman.

[@Chesterton7]

Great.

[@whyzen2081]

Of course it would take a weed joke to warm the American audience to him :p Love it.

[@jackkenefick2696]

that muted horn sounds like a columbo murder

[@user-ky6vw5up9m]

2020 he has just won UK Version of Dancing With The Stars (Strictly Come Dancing).

[@martinheath5947]

God bless Bill Bailey and all who sail near him.

[@dundundata7603]

Reggie Watts' inspiration

[@dogfart666ok]

Double Fox Hunting on a Wednesday Afternoon.......I think the audience believed that to be true!

[@dannyclub09]

Did anyone else notice the drum & bass sample either was, or sounded just like the original intro to Never Mind the Buzzcocks, the panel show he starred on?

[@Paleos1000]

Double fox hunting - stunned silence while that is being digested.

[@kh2freek]

I think part of the problem is Americans wouldn't say "double fox hunting" so they didn't really get he was playing the part of disgruntled student. And of course also American comedians don't deal in as much subtlety. It needs a rewrite. "I've got fox hunting next period with Miss Malkovich, ugh" Something like that.

[@andywakely5568]

Bill the best

[@u8f7]

“Ah you have tricked me” killed me

[@leahtigers771]

Amazing how different English comedy can be from its American counterpart. There should be more exposure to it, perhaps in time the capacity to understand other cultures may finally be not so elusive. Nice sweet set

[@troyhelms386]

this was not his best stuff. wow

[@mikeball6182]

The beauty of unfamiliar cultures is partly due to the fact that they ARE elusive.

[@vvim]

I think I heard the same joke about immigration with Mo Amer (The Vagabond 2018), I guess he is a Bill Bailey fan just like us :-D

[@djberryhardkore]

Wow the Black Books episode where he plays piano…it’s legit!