Billy Connolly - Old lady on the bus - Live in New York 2005

[@barrymarshall4018]

Best comedian ever.....starts a story then drifts off for an hour then brings it back in in hilarious form. We in Scotland are so proud of Billy

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Why? He couldn't wait to leave.

[@TezKingboom]

@@TonyEnglandUK he still owned property in scotland. Think he had an old statley manor home

[@someoneelse.2252]

I'd say your country has far more to be proud of, rather than a sometimes funny, comedienne. (you should've paid more attention in your History class.) Regards from Canada.

[@marcsymington4061]

@@someoneelse.2252 he's a national treasure here in Scotland, will be a sad day when he's gone,but I know what you mean with what Scotland has gave to the world

[@coreymckay6929]

That we are, so proud of Billy

[@Boab44]

Billy Connolly Is The Greatest Stand Up Comedian Of All Time. 😂🤣

[@annismith8575]

Absofuckinglutley true !!

[@myluresstuckinatree2111]

He and Eddy Murphy are my favs

[@christinecanning5972]

With out a doubt. 😜

[@djsuave1]

Calm down. Yes he's amazing and one of the greats. But calm down with the greatest ever.

[@KimiMD]

@@djsuave1 nah dude, he is the greatest stand up ever.

[@Duncan_Idaho_Potato]

By now she's on her 150th lap around the planet... and we're still laughing. Godspeed, old lady. Please, never stop running. 🤣🤣🤣

[@cheryl898]

😂

[@KyleStroudVA]

I’ve heard this story probably fifty times. It still makes me cry laughing every time.

[@gigupp]

yeap

[@chateaupig826]

He's so good at putting you ON THAT bus 😂😂

[@aidanmartin7923]

I saw this tour in Perth Western Australia. I laughed so hard, I took the day off the next day. When I woke up in the morning, it hurt to just to breath, I felt like I had broken ribs.

[@MsJjjmmm]

I saw him in Perth too and my face hurt from constantly laughing

[@irbennett]

Why do people insist on lying on the internet. It's not compulsory.

[@adriaanboogaard8571]

Like many you lucky person Billy would say when people get asked about going to see him.Did you laugh.? Oh yes . I laughed until my jaw hurt What did he say? I have no Idea. :)

[@ColinFerrie-k8w]

The best there’s ever been, a natural comedic genius. No one makes me cry with laughter like Billy.

[@chateaupig826]

He's Always on point

[@andreaslucht3939]

To my disgrace,i just found out about Billy connoly. When i heard the bus story, i was in stiches. The way he tells a story...amazing.

[@panpantheman78]

dude his records where wild "we are the romans ...we hate the christians "

[@frank.w.buchanan4076]

Sir Billy Connolly deserves a monument

[@irbennett]

He doesn't want a statue in Glasgow as somebody will put a traffic cone on it. It's a tradition in Glasgow.

[@Villafan82]

You can give this man any story whatsoever and he can make it funny. What a genius. Best comedy-storyteller I’ve ever seen.

[@irbennett]

Like the death of his sister Florence.

[@robleary3353]

Probably the best story teller ever!. As he's describing it, you can see it which makes it even funnier! Thankyou Billy.

[@TallSilentGuy]

I'm actually having a hard time picturing what's meant to be happening...

[@Trapsarentgay133]

And I love that he just goes off on 10 minute tangents and then comes back to the original story

[@robleary3353]

@@Trapsarentgay133 The beauty of it was you could remember what he was talking about when he did go back!..... 🤣🤣

[@genokemp2433]

Rob ,it's actually happening in front of me ,That's how good the bloke is ..So 100% agree mate ..i wet myself a tad laughing though 🤦‍♂️

[@exs3574]

Right on point! During the story I'm literally on that bus with him and the old lady laughing and crying - GENIUS!

[@geoffhunt6439]

No matter how many times you hear his stories you always almost die laughing. Brilliant story teller.

[@irbennett]

I don't almost die.

[@audioupgrades]

It's just masterly how he paints that scene. Everytime I laugh so much it hurts.

[@fionahiggins9412]

My Uncle Harry was a Glaswegian ....I knew him from the day I was born and he had the same amazing ability to make me laugh till I cried . We were sitting in a restaurant and he had ordered sole ..... finished in a flash....held up the full bones remains and asked the maitre de for a refill ! Love you all . Unfortunately I am frae Dundee !

[@irbennett]

There's nothing unfortunate about being from Dundee. Except the football teams of course.

[@barrywalls7175]

'I don't know how old....the kind of woman you would say; look at that old woman' 😆 😂 😅 crying here!

[@sarahwatkins4520]

So funny 😂😂😂

[@irbennett]

No you're not. You stole a line from his routine and pretended you were.

[@jhewitt569]

​@@irbennettwell aren't you a delight...

[@Anna-gc1co]

Exactly why is this so funny?!

[@Anna-gc1co]

The fact you picked this line out as hilarious makes you my friend!! X

[@MercyREB]

Man.. Me and my dad would laugh at Billy's comedian jokes all the time. Sadly, my dad passed away, and I still watch Billy's jokes to keep a memory of my dad.

[@chateaupig826]

That's lovely ❤ Your dad had a good soh ❤

[@jenniferheminsley2092]

Hbgod 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@irbennett]

Don't you have a photo of him?

[@MercyREB]

@@irbennett There is that, too.

[@irbennett]

@@MercyREB So you don't need to watch the videos.

[@jamiewatts8244]

The driver going "oh for fuck's sake" gets me EVERY time

[@irbennett]

So you've only watched this clip. Other times he does this routine he hasn't said it.

[@1515327E]

It's an utter joy of life to hear New York Americans completely beside themselves at this - I was brought up with 'our Billy' and I have totally lost control of my functions before now, in so much pain, not able to breath, and for these folks to get him is so wonderful. Thanks, Big Yin.

[@irbennett]

I've seen Billy several times live, but I didn't realise I was surrounded by people dying, suffocating, in pain, wetting their pants, etc. I'm surprised the Red Cross weren't there.

[@zippy5131]

Absolutely f****n priceless, I spent years at RAF Lossiemouth and loved the language from my mates to the cleaners. Priceless totally priceless.

[@patrickdare5356]

Billy Connolly was, is, and always will be (in his own words) fucking brilliant.

[@punkywozza4330]

You know when you laugh so hard you cry and you hurt at the same time.... Well Billy always has me that way

[@irbennett]

No.

[@vikkihogg]

This has tears rolling down my cheeks 😂😂😂😂

[@irbennett]

Doesn't anybody have tissues.

[@AIKIDOJRA]

Nobody makes me laugh like Billy Connolly

[@sarakirk9542]

You have to wonder at Billy’s imagination on how he thinks of these things. The way he sell it to us like kids sat in a circle listening to a story. You get so sucked in by his words and his delivery and comedy is timeless. The tears and laughter start to hurt your stomach from the hilarity of this old lady on the bus and his quiet reasoning. Is she running still? 🤣🤣🤣 Just a unique performer. Nobody out there close can touch our BIlly ever

[@ryanfindlay599]

I think he's not making up the stories

[@vVyohasakuraVv]

@@ryanfindlay599 either made up or stolen, most of his early jokes were taken from the shipyards were he worked as a welder. still funny tho

[@vVyohasakuraVv]

haha u should visit glasgow's building sites the way he tells a story isnt unique and the stories were passed down from tradesmen to tradesmen kinda haha but billy is still funny as fuck

[@ryanfindlay599]

@@vVyohasakuraVv eh Ken the story mate ,I'm fae dundee lol ,was working in Glasgow last month ,fuckin love banter ,nae cunt takes anything to serious 👍🏻🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@robevans5507]

wouldnt surprise me if hes like bob mortimer on would i lie to you & everythings actually true and did happen lol would be amazing

[@makyaule589]

I don't know how many times I've watched this video and it still makes me laugh 😂

[@Notyournormaltrader]

Funny 😆

[@baskervillebee6097]

Funniest story in history. What happened to the poor old lady? I picture an elderly vicar, in one of those tiny, tiny cars, coming across her in a ditch beside the road about 30 minutes later with the shopping bag still on her arm.

[@fotozero]

Same, just when I think I've worn out my funny bone on it, I watch it again a year later and cry laughing

[@gigupp]

yes, the funniest story ever

[@Shebeast3]

same everytime ❤

[@Bundytuba]

Billy Connelly the greatest comedian of all time. The Muhammad Ali of comedy. In the early 2000’s I suffered from PTSD and depression and watching Billy really got me through. There is no better cure then a bit of Billy to lift your day up.

[@irbennett]

Bollocks.

[@llttf82]

I remember the first time I heard this story, was almost on the floor laughing. Brilliant.

[@mastinomama8939]

The world is a better place because Billy is in it. ❤

[@Sylveryse]

One of the funniest stories ever told by a true legend. Bloody brilliant stuff!

[@chateaupig826]

I'm crying 😂😂😂 The fact he wonders about the characters in his stories 😂❤

[@projectdalekmark]

Just for the record, I nearly suffocated by laughing at this the first time I saw/listened to it and pictured it in my head.....

[@lynntracy6085]

I've been laughing along with this Gent since the 70's, so so very funny.

[@sj460162]

Total legend. One of the only stand ups I can listen to for hours..

[@pettylove86]

As soon as I read the title I knew t was gonna be a good one and he didn't disappoint! Laughed til I cried and laughed some more. I just love him.

[@julierussell8876]

being a Scot who immigrated to NZ in '77, but was immersed in Billy humour (on LP) and having vivid memories of the places he talks about, you really are transported right to where he is talking about and living it as he's relaying it. Makes it all the funnier.

[@johnking5174]

My great grandparents on both sides of my family were from Clydebank so hooray for Clydebank.

[@tracygibb3989]

I have everything that Billy has done, and no matter how many times I have watched them I end up crying with laughter. Best comedian ever 😂

[@DJTrek83]

I once Met Billy Connoly back in the early 2000's. I was working at one of my first ever jobs at a fuelling station, when this old looking, custom made Bentley pulled up. I couldn't believe it when I saw Billy get out. When Billy came in to pay for his fuel, we had a quick chat and I remember feeling overwhelmed by just how lovely he was in-person. Billy then went back to his car and long story short - it wouldn't start. He came back in, we called breakdown services for him and he stayed in shop chatting with me, my colleagues and customers, for the next hour or so. In the meantime, I'd called my Mum, who has always been a HUGE fan of his...and she wasted no time in coming to my work to meet Billy. My Mum still has a framed photo of her and Billy hugging displayed in her home, along with an autograph on a piece of receipt paper I gave him from the till to sign. I loved that day.

[@PerthViking]

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this, yet I’m crying laughing again🤣🤣🤣

[@trishlangford5773]

I know, I know. I practically suffocate because I can't draw breath I laugh so hard.🤣🤣🤣

[@hairybustard4247]

I remember someone jumping off the back of the bus when I was wee. People used to jump off at this one particular roundabout when the bus was going slow but this time it was going quickly and the guy jumped off and like billy says this guy was running really fast trying to stop and WHACK!!! straight into a lamp post. That one will stay with me forever

[@hellfirepictures]

Ah, that used to happen to us as kids far too often lol. I've seen more than a couple of people collide with the lampost after trying to get off too soon 🤣 I think they're why TfL got rid of the Routemasters!

[@Douglas-rp4sx]

So correct...I think he must have been talking about Kilbowie road in Clydebank obviously with comedic allowance ...just great

[@toddmacann8442]

Literally crying with laughter. That one is better than’ the swing’

[@Del-ji3xr]

Would love to sit around a campfire with some good weed and hear him tell stories!

[@irbennett]

What is it with people and campfires.

[@EL-gu8fv]

My favourite uncle Sandy comes to mind. He could tell a tale just like this. He once told one about the guy whose coat got stuck in the bus door...I actually ran away because I was wetting myself, at age 9... bless you Sandy, long gone but great memories.

[@chrishay8385]

The funniest comedian ever.best show I've ever been to,my face literally ached on the way home 😂😂

[@Tails7212]

Such a masterpiece telling of such a simple story, comedy legend

[@adamturner749]

I literally cry with laughter every time I watch this 😂

[@Rayfaedundee]

Classic Sir Billy Connolly , telling his real life stories with such fantastic humour. What a one off comic genius this guy is and always will be forever

[@irbennett]

Perpetually, persistently and for all time. Etc.

[@ed9352]

Watching BILLY he will have me in stitches no matter What time of day or night I watch him. We don’t have comedians like that anymore he’s a legend.

[@irbennett]

We do actually.

[@Kluncan]

It doesn’t matter how many times I hear this… it always makes me laugh so much it hurts. 😂

[@runcmd8851]

Still gets me this one.... one of my all time favourites.

[@TheMustachioedJames]

I was in the second row for this show, it was amazing, stayed after and got to meet Billy after, spoke to him for about 1/2 hour, he's amazing

[@irbennett]

Liar.

[@ID-pw8zb]

WE NEED MORE BILLY. just sayin 😄

[@mtssman]

The first time I watched this was with my mates in my flat on a Saturday evening, we laughed so hard beer shooting out of our noses like 3 feet. It messed up our ears so much we all felt dizzy the next day morning.

[@irbennett]

If there was ever a competition for the worse lie ever told, your comment would win hands down.

[@ridethetiger1895]

This bit puts me in stitches everytime, tears down my face and a belly ache from laughing too damn hard!!!

[@morethanaveragejoe8224]

Haha. I feel bad for that poor old lady, but Billy's really cracking me up!!

[@guitardee1]

Ivan come back to this video a hundred times, I know the story and how it ends, but I still laugh like a demon every time. Such is his magnificent story telling you can picture it perfectly

[@CSMtheMariner]

I’ve been laughing at this joke for 13 years. Thanks Billy.

[@brisvegas859]

Billy is the GOAT From 🇦🇺

[@NicolaMulholland]

"Where did she run to?...Is she running still?" I cant count how many times I've heard this line and it still cracks me up 🤣 It's right up there with Tommy Tiernan's Declan Moffatt story 🤣🤣

[@irbennett]

Actually the lady came downstairs, rang the bell, the bus stopped and the lady got off at her stop. That's what really happened.

[@705johnnyboy]

he always makes me do the evil giggle that wont stop

[@705johnnyboy]

oh hi bill hope your feeling alright today

[@daphnethurlow5388]

Love Billy forEVER....the finest story teller you end up on the floor listening to, in a total hysterical collapse..The best..the only...the Big Yin..God bless you for years of laughter Billy..

[@Larsskoldebjer]

Billy Connolly! Is there anyone funnier? All things are relative and there´s so many varieyties of comics. Billy tells stories. Another one of my favs is Eddie Izzard. A bit more " intellectual " but you keep smilinng through the whole show. And of course Robin Williams!! What a brilliant mind! His associations were fast as lightning! I´m Swedish so I didn´t always followed, he were so QUICK! Misss you Robin, too soon...

[@turdferguson77]

one of my favorite stand up jokes of all time.... what a master.... and oh how I hope this story is true

[@jennypurplethefirst]

If you’ve ever had the misfortune to be on a Glesga bus, you’ll know this is true! 😂😂

[@irbennett]

@@jennypurplethefirst Part of it is true.

[@JamesWhite-vh3jr]

As a Clydebank boy i know the exact place he's talking about 🤣

[@johnking5174]

My great grandparents on both sides of my family were from Clydebank so hooray for Clydebank!

[@barrystewart8056]

I haven't laughed that much for ages 🤣 It's not just the way he tells it. It's the images in your head.

[@thejaxter6384]

I love Billy! If I ever need cheering up it's Billy that cheers me up no end 😂😂😂

[@robertpickstone]

I should have gone to bed an hour ago but here I am watching the best comedian of all time

[@Punk__pixie]

This is the bit that made me love billy, this made me laugh harder that ever before when I first watched it

[@1Kent]

I click on this every time I see it

[@alfieconn2692]

Is she running still...the perfect final line. How did he consistently come up with new material of this quality for decades?

[@danielegeland7285]

2023 and this is probably one of the best stories I’ve ever heard! Comedy gold, thanks Billy !

[@hellfirepictures]

My favourites, 30+ years later, are still the jokes about the 'Incontinence Pants' and the 'Wildebeest'. I cried with laughter the first time I heard them. I still do. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iHixfpiIYqeCn9U kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXOsn5mlYrOeY5o

[@dobby3392]

This is my favourite story of his 🖤🖤🖤 I'm so glad I found it. Totally needed a smile 🖤✌️

[@biggic2004]

Even though I've heard it before, I'm in tears again ... 😂😂😂 And yet.. wondering what happened to the poor old lady... 🤔. Did she have a chance to get any older? We'll never know.. But this story somehow makes her immortal.. 🙂

[@aidanmartin7923]

Na mate, she was running so fast she did a Flash and turned back the clock, she's now 25 again and out living it up in Ibiza.

[@irbennett]

She actually got off at her stop and lived happily ever after.

[@ChristineKearns-f1x]

He's bloody brilliant 😂😂

[@michiveritas1420]

"An old woman... An older woman... I dunno how old(?) The kinda woman you would say, "Look at that old woman!"😂

[@andybyron1]

"An old woman........an older woman.......the kinda woman you would say,...... look at that old woman. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Melly3112-ox3ey]

First time I watched Billy tell this story l was ashamed because I laughed at the poor wee lady's mishap. Now I am an old lady I picture myself running at 70 mph beside the bus. And I think it's hilarious!

[@joansmith6433]

I've done that, flying off the bus, took a couple of huge steps before landing hard on my face. Cobbled haim, I might have needed a few stitches, which back then in Glasgow was a great day, maybe two of getting spoiled. I always remember hanging on to the exit pole, leaning out as the bus swirled around corners. Best buses in the world!

[@keithglover2483]

This is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard him tell and he's one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen God bless you Billy the Big yen xxxx

[@GrahamHarvey-g7x]

Nobody like him, funniest guy I've ever seen, comic genius, Scottish legend, tears of laughter rolling down the face watching him on stage, never be another one one like him, we are blessed to have witnessed his humour

[@irbennett]

It looks like you took bits from other people's posts to make a post of your own.

[@chrisnorton8363]

“The kind of woman you would say “look at that old woman””. Makes me laugh out loud every time. 😂

[@justinr9784]

Legend has it she's still running to this very day.

[@irbennett]

Nope.

[@watervillegangmember]

I have come back to watch this countless times. I still cry laugh every time.

[@christinemacleod6771]

Absoutle delight well done big yin simply the best.

[@melissagoodall2373]

You're such a legend

[@sarahwatkins4520]

When my sister told me about this bit, I almost pissed myself laughing, just imagining it. Then I watched it, and almost fell on the floor because I couldn't stop crying 😂😂

[@jayneluke6814]

I used to have a vcr video of one of Billy’s standups my uncle gave me when I was 18 and I played it over and over again. It never failed it make me laugh even though I could’ve acted it out 😂 got me through some dark days ❤

[@danoyse8233]

Great, great storyteller. Thanks Billy

[@jackieprasek179]

I adore his accent 😊

[@theoak64]

Brilliant! I piss myself each and every time I listen to this. I just found out the other day by watching a documentary about Billy Conley but he never wrote jokes he just kept a list of words or ideas next to him on stage and told stories from those words and ideas. Brilliant!

[@irbennett]

A list of 8 words, which he may not use. If you wet yourself each time, go to the bathroom before you watch the video. Who's Billy Conley?

[@sona7444]

dear lord; ive seen this a million times and i still have to be careful not to be drinking my tea otherwise it goes up my nose.

[@lindawarner9627]

Absolutely brilliant

[@lynnegaspini3454]

Absolutely hilarious. He has to be the funniest storyteller ever ! I love him.

[@robertabray-enhus3198]

He’s just the best story teller!

[@irbennett]

Let's nip this in the bud. Comic storyteller.

[@user-jc3wy3zp8w]

The greatest ever to do it. An absolute genius

[@TasteBudJunkie]

the way he builds his stories is genius. 😂😂😂😂

[@peterkane1591]

He's right about glasgow and liverpool having that unique sense of humour. But I would add my town Belfast & working class dublin.

[@thalesofmiletus2966]

That story reminded me of my days as a milkboy in the 70’s in Dundee and seeing Stuart Smith doing the exact same thing off the back of the lorry when we were doing 30mph. It was hilarious. Unfortunately he got badly injured.

[@arthurmatthews9321]

I remember when a worked for British rail at Newcastle station. A guy opened a door on a train pulling into the platform.he tried to jump off the train before it stopped,but his bag got stuck on the inside of the door and he had to run alongside the carriage at 35 mph until the train stopped. It was f@@king hilarious.

[@hellfirepictures]

If it was pulling into the platform, it wasn't doing 35mph. More like 5mph. Though I've seen that happen too in London back when I used to ride the clickety-clack every day and it's still funny.

[@montacap]

I will never get tired of him . I fear the future when all of these grates are all gone . No one will ever be able to fill there shoes .

[@geoffreysimpson1745]

The funniest storyteller ever 😄