Bipolar Disorder, Suicidal Thoughts & Depression. His Story.

[@debbietristan100]

"I didn't want to die. I just wanted the bad feelings (pain) to end." "My parents, family & friends would be better off without me." Such familiar thoughts.

[@MrBendacorna]

I've struggled with Bipolar disorder since my teens. I can't take medication because of liver problems. I've lost jobs, friends, burned bridges, and had unstable relationships with pretty much everyone in my life, but mostly, with myself. My mom committed suicide when I was 10 years old. She passed on some bipolar genetics to me, obviously, and it's been an arduous road. Intelligence isn't an issue, but anger, ups and downs, rapid cycling, job loss, and romance is definitely problematic. Thanks for this in depth look. I'm asking for ECT at my next appt. I don't know what else to turn to at this point. Anxiety and panic have now set in along with mania and depression. It's getting to be unbearable, even in the complete absence of environmental stressors and substance abuse.

[@kirstytv]

So sorry to hear your struggling so much benjamin bagby keep seeking searching and reaching out. Try everything :)) meditation and diet changes. It all helps too.@ross szabo is on twitter too and also happy to offer advise and respond to questions kx

[@LIVdaBrand]

Stay strong homie-i feel your pain. I won’t have kids so that they don’t have to have this. I wanna break the cycle. I’m cool with that.

[@TheLibraryofOddities]

"It was that I accepted that I hated myself".. truer words were never spoken..

[@CCSofChocolatesvill]

At least this guy has family and friends unlike some

[@1jamesodom]

The funny thing is, that only seems to make it worse at times. The thought that one can be surrounded by support and money and all those things and still feel like crap makes one think that one is a terrible person for not being happy with all that. It's like starving while looking at a banquet feast locked under glass. It's all there in tantalizing vicinity without being able to enjoy it. It adds to the bad feelings.

[@kirstytv]

"The hallucinations are not something you forget. When it first starts happening to you, you're in this state of paranoia because you don't know what's real." My guests todays powerful story of his journey from depression to mania and bipolar. Powerful and informative. One to be shared. kx The Truth About Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Bipolar Disorder. His Story.

[@leftertiberiuvlad]

There are a few components to reducing anxiety quickly. One plan I found that succeeds in merging these is Kevs Control Plan (check it out on google) it's the most useful plan that I've seen. Check out the amazing information .

[@kirstytv]

'He didn't want to die, he just didn't see a way out. After entering a deep state of depression, he struggled with taking his own life for 4 months. Eventually, he attempted suicide and was hospitalized. He was seeing a therapist twice a week for those 4 months and NEVER once mentioned his suicidal thoughts to them'. A topic we all need to talk more about. Share this important message with those you love kx

[@lorraineprescott7629]

wow amazing story I truly admire him I had a psychosis at 18, I have never had another again, it is now 35 yrs later, I take meds and have never stopped I self-medicated for a lolng time finally stopped once I was given Lithium at age 32, 18 yrs later I am doing fairly well

[@Nancy-pc6sf]

Wow...🙏🙏🙏

[@silkcustoms520]

My Oldest Son who is 16 is going through this. It is Horrific. He has tried so many meds and nothing working. My Wife and I are scared and feel helpless. My Kids are everything to me !

[@_noahrh]

What a lovely and thoughtful interviewer. Highly informative and inspirational.

[@kirstytv]

Thanks Noah Hughes I love to hear that. We have over 150 episodes up now so check out the channel @KirstyTV full of inspiring stories x

[@dorenemellene2201]

Wow, this guy is totally awesome. I love how he explains what he's been through. However, my heart goes out to him. I hope they find a cure for this illness.

[@RESzabo]

thanks dorene! 'm doing well and have become so much stronger from my experiences.

[@Rys12.3-4_5]

I have a bipolar and I do not think of suicide

[@kirstytv]

'It was easier to use alcohol to numb than to wait for the medication to work'. As he began to drink, his bipolar symptoms changed. As opposed to mania and depression, he began to have massive bouts of anger & punching walls. Then the hallucinations began, that was when people began to get scared. Mental health effects almost everyone at some stage in their life on some level. If not you, someone you love. My incredible guest this week shares his powerful story. kx

[@DouglasD.]

Wow this guy could finish my sentence for me

[@Kaiser12345]

This is a great story. At 45 and diagnosed two years ago. I have really had this my whole life. Therapy is not helping. Medications have been increased. I am an alcoholic too. BPII is the horrible thing. I want it to go away but it want. Suicide is a thought but I could not do it. It is hard for me to hold my managerial role in a large manufacturing environment. I have the same things you have. I see help that you have and I need to get the correct treatment. 2 1/2 months do therapy 2 years ago I think i need more,treatment.

[@nickijara5901]

You are brave to speak out on this serious issue and you have loving parents. I hope people would be more open to talk and seek help for the tormented mind.

[@connorlyons6533]

This is very relatable and helpful. thank you for the content

[@jgnmtz]

Really great information. Very inspiring. This man has gone through it all. I'm right there with ya. Trying to stay on meds and deal with outside world that's often harried and unfriendly

[@leenm.7677]

♥️♥️

[@mirnasuccari1389]

What an admiring story and great interview.

[@caitlyn7343]

I very much liked this video. I can relate so closely to actually being asked how it feel to be bipolar. That is sometime I struggle with. I can deal with the depression or the hypomania, it's my emotions that I struggle with. Very wise man.

[@frankfromupstateny3796]

May God help us all

[@bribieman43]

I keep coming back to watch this AMAZING interview... Again, THANKS... xxx Shane...

[@kirstytv]

wow thank you that is so awesome to hear. Glad you loved it. His story is inspiring to so many kx bribieman43

[@RESzabo]

thanks shane! i appreciate your support. talking about these issues helps others connect and hopefully find the help they need.

[@armandojimenez1851]

Amazing interview I love you men " God bless you "

[@evangelista6442]

Thx fr all those true stories,so I always learn about...as my friends telling me:that I could write a thick book ab my life...anyway I wont look back only to all those good moments to move on experiencing my life with gratitute..

[@richraymond9934]

Once you recover ,,,bipolar is like having duct tape over your mouth told to get into a closet while 12 people talk about you in the kitchen,,I've been bipolar for 39 years,,,and the gift is knowing how precious your health and life is,,most people dont,,they think they do,,,but they dont

[@bribieman43]

After watching the last clip I find this even more amazing. Thanks for what you do. Shane Australia...

[@kirstytv]

Thanks bribieman43 I hope you will be a new fan of the show. We have over 100 interviews live now you can go to the playlist interviews and find similar topics. We are on facebook, twitter etc...and chat daily about such things @KirstyTV is our handle kx

[@JanMelet]

Talk about it and accept that you can hate yourself; good lessons.

[@kirstytv]

Thanks Jan Melet yes hard lessons but worthy of the work kx

[@RESzabo]

thanks jan! there are so many lessons to learn with mental health. i feel like every time i know what's going on something changes. finding that balance is the key.

[@jessicafamighetti2515]

Great story this made me feel alot better

[@Wayneroxu]

I suffer with this, take an enormous amount of medication that help in one way, yet have terrible side effects. I have not been well in years.

[@kirstytv]

+Wayne Woodward I hope you will continue to try different meds and amounts and doctors as there is so much research nowadays. Look into a local association too. And natural remedies to compliment meds. Like yoga, diet, excersize and meditation. These all play a huge role in mental and emotional wellness.

[@kirstytv]

+Wayne Woodward I haven't had experience with ECT. Do your research look at forums of peoples experience, get a few opinions x

[@Wayneroxu]

Will do and thank you! Wayne

[@LOVESIGNLOVESIGN-qx5wm]

Wayne Woodward i understand it realy SUCKS

[@LolLol-ch7sl]

Am i depressed? My life feels empty, pointless, meaningless etc., i have no motivation, energy, i cry often. I am useless i am crap at school, girls, sport, music etc.

[@kirstytv]

+Say no to Political Correctness Yes it sounds like your possibly suffering from depression. As we'll as low self esteem and low self worth. I have an online program I am giving away for free this month to support groups from mental health your welcome to do it free as my guest. Email me and I can send you some information I think it will help greatly and it is a fun program, all done online. [e-mail]

[@innertubez]

Thank you. Really powerful story and helpful discussion.

[@tbrown4080]

You would surprised to know that a good healthy diet with vitamin and mineral supplication is often the key that's needed to recovery and feeling well.

[@TJSullivan]

We are proud to represent Ross for his speaking on college campuses. Visit www.campuspeak.com/speakers/szabo

[@kirstytv]

Thanks ***** please share the interview and KirstyTV work. I will add this link to his blog post we have also kx

[@israelsahagun1518]

Damn that sucks now I really think I have bipolar. I really must go get myself check

[@kirstytv]

At least if it is, you can manage it as many have with lifestyle choices and awareness. hugs kx Krazy Izzy

[@jazminehudson3634]

I am Bypoler and I can get mad and literly almost break my bones but so far I have not broken a bone

[@pukingdeserthobo]

wow!!! this is exactly like my life!

[@kirstytv]

I hope it helps to know your not alone. We have a playlist for mental health on the channel. Check it out xx

[@robertfreedlie6340]

I'm so scared that I have bipolar... I'm a fifteen year old girl (I know my name says: Robert freedlie, but that is a longer story...) I have massive mood swing... I was diagnosed with major depression, when I got hospitalized a while a go... And when I just found out that he had hallucinations when he woke up in the middle of the night... I just suddenly remembered a couple of years ago when my dad woke me up in the middle of the night, and he was just sitting besides me, and I didn't understand why so after a while a sat up, but then he was gone... And then back when I was 10 or something... I was a bout to go to bed I laid down in my bed, and then I saw the clown from IT sitting down on a chair besides my desk.... And a couple of days ago I literally felt SO GOOD! I remember having SO MANY ideas for a new book I could write and I almost felt like Euphoric... But yesterday I woke up feeling so depressed... I'm so scared help

[@justinritch]

+robert freedlie same I've been having so many mood changes its weird its like I dont even know who I am anymore lol

[@kirstytv]

+robert freedlie Please reach out to your school counsellor a helpline or free support center, google your area and bipolar support. I promise there is help x

[@joemoonblue]

Just found your Channel thanks for this work

[@kirstytv]

+joe moonblue thanks glad u like it ...over 100 episodes now x

[@ericthehalfabee7980]

Great interview. Hi-five! Subscribed.

[@czechking]

Me too.

[@patriciabunwaire4747]

I go through the same thoughts too, it's very painful. Sometimes I just want to die.

[@sana8468]

Patricia, I’m so sorry. I hope you’re feeling better than you were 9 months ago 💕

[@booya4024]

So this has just helped me figure out I have bipolar depression aha damn

[@mulansoerjadi]

Well he is handsome

[@theresasalazar4616]

I'm going through the same issues. I tried multiple meds n it just seems to get worse. I really don't have nobody that understands. I tried killing myself multiple of times. Even when I was incarcerated. I suffer from a heart murmur, hep c, and liver damage. I'm only 22. I also used alcohol. I have anger issues. Ptsd from my half brother sexual abusing me at age 5. I have anxiety which causes fatigue. N no sleep. I also have a poor diet because of my depression.

[@tbrown4080]

Try taking minerals and particularly the mineral magnesium. Also get off the alcohol.

[@TinCole]

I am depressed, and feeling sad rignt now. In few months I'll be full of self-esteem and angry I can tell and rude to my parents. And again i'll depressed, sad, i'm gonna feel worthless. I don't know, should I reach for professional help ?

[@kirstytv]

Tin Cole Yes, if you know your struggling get some support. We are also beginning an online 6 week course. Go to kirstytv dot com (releasing shame) x

[@LOVESIGNLOVESIGN-qx5wm]

Tin Cole yes,please hi from Amsterdam

[@iwantyourcookiesnow]

Why suicide? Just want the pain to go away. Think that you can’t continue to live this way. Think that you are a drain on everybody and figure you aren’t bringing anything positive and might as well not exist. Hate life. Hate myself. Don’t see a positive future at all. Can’t sleep Tired all day The meds make you feel like crap You feel like a complete outsider You’re just tired You hurt your loved ones You don’t feel like you can trust yourself or your own ideas and thoughts

[@ianstockwell7632]

please let me know his medications I'm 17 had psychosis 9 months ago and attempted to overdose 2 months ago and i look just like him if you know information please tell me his medications if he uses any

[@kirstytv]

Please email me [e-mail] and i can connect you with resources. x

[@theneck5157]

I feel he has more then bipolar disorder seems to have schizophrenia and that is common with people that have bipolar .. depression and manic depression have similar outcomes when it comes to a large amount of patients, suicide and anger are very high on the list but when it comes to hallucinations and people telling you what to do are not common and usually shows other mental problems.... chemical Imbalance Is the cause of mental illness some times it happens after a bad accident but then sometimes it’s just your body that stops making chemicals that make you stable and it can happen at any age .... The real problem is that you will not see the problem but your family and friends will because you don’t see anything wrong it’s your brain playing tricks on you !! When manic there are a few things to watch for in family and that’s fast talking going from story to story and lying for no reason and spending money is a real problem and doing very risky stunts .. then there is depression and that’s the part when others see your illness because you sleep and sleep and don’t go out and don’t shower and you never have a smile and you sleep and you just loose focus , this is usually the scary time because it’s when suicidal thoughts race through your chemical imbalanced brain !!! Just remember you can’t fix something that you can’t see or hear or smell it’s you period it’s a chemical imbalance that changed you for ever , other need to see the problem and bring it out in the open and help you get help , Don’t look at people making speeches infront of everyone as people that are fired because if they truly have bipolar or schizophrenia they will never be cured they take medication that helps for the moment but even medication can stop working .. Bipolar is you period it’s something you will have to survive and hopefully you have family and friends that can help , just remember manic is just as dangerous as depression if not more because you feel like the hulk unstoppable and fearless and your job will always be there and money problems seem to fade away ... The one piece of advice I would want you to walk away with is join a bipolar group and go all the time because like me and many others your brain will play tricks on you and make you stop taking your meds and the only people that will understand those times will be people in your group ... god bless and hope everyone can live a productive life being bipolar or what ever mental illness you have

[@andresalvarez1732]

❤️

[@gillianhamilton6581]

Do these people have nothing but their selfobsession?

[@alex00731]

Shame n most doctors. They prescribed me what there's sponsor what them to. Why? Bonus. Money. Some times just because what kind of insurance you have. And keep coming back to make more money over health help. Even when you find meds that helps n some way. Some doctors will do anything to change it like I said. Money over health

[@TheHumbuckerboy]

There were thuggish teachers in my school so grabbing them was out of the equation !

[@rajlev]

what type of medications are you taking?

[@kirstytv]

+Levente R I had a conversation with Ross about this and his now at a stage where his been able to manage himself without medication. Through food, diet and anxiety management, cognitive therapy etc... For each it's a different path and something you need to talk to the right therapist and doctor with x

[@rajlev]

+KirstyTV thank you for your answer. Interesting what you written, because this disease is incurable and lifelong, I read about it, that without stabilizer -medications- can not hold steady the moods...

[@kirstytv]

+Levente R it really is case by case love. There is no one prescription fixes all. Some are successful without meds but that may have taken them 10 years to get to, many are not and need them forever. There are many variations on the spectrum when it comes to all mental health issues. As I said you need a great doctor and therapist to safely help you through this process. The disease and the efficacy of each drug are very specific to each person's biochemistry, physiological vulnerabilities, and social supports.

[@wardstudios771]

now my bi polar is not perfect today. but I have tried to kill myself over 10 times I lost count in and out of hospitals at 19. im 26 now.i think the condition can be managed but it usually never goes away. I still get suicidal thoughts or feelings of worthlessness but somehow I've trained myself to recognize these thoughts and say Im just bipolar as shit what goes down must come up and what comes up most go down. if anyone is listening the most important thing is to not give in to attempted suicide. I haven't been hospitalized since I was 20.it does get better because you get used to it and learn to recognize the signs. and of course you find the right meds. laughter helps too haha

[@monicaavila4854]

I Still take my sleeping pills as needed

[@ozgurkuzu2202]

i am not bipolar as... stop it.

[@gillianhamilton6581]

Do these people have nothing but their selfobsession?9

[@bhonecars5500]

...

[@usmanqudrat5208]

The host looks a lot like a young pre-cosmetic surgery Melanie Griffith P.S. even i am Bipolar😔

[@Blodia1990]

Chin up brotha you are worthy! One day, the goodness of God will find us and others shall not have your illness. Insha' lla

[@davidjones-tb6yi]

i

[@gillianhamilton6581]

Do these people have nothing but their selfobsession?

[@gillianhamilton6581]

Do these people have nothing but their selfobsession?