Bitchy ASMR | Sanctimommy Interview

Don't watch this if you're easily triggered by roleplays featuring a sanctimonious mother (i.e., a "Sanctimommy"). You can learn more about this particular type of mother on the Sanctimommy page on Facebook: / sanctimommy .
And yes, "triggering" is an appropriate description for this video for some people. I'm not talking about those who are merely offended by stuff like this. If you've ever been shamed by a sanctimommy for something that really hurt (say, you have one child and a sanctimommy shames you for it, but you're unable to have more children, or they blast you for not breastfeeding when you couldn't because of cancer), then yes, this video could be a trigger. I'm not just talking about pearl-clutching offense.
As I said, I mainly made this for my own enjoyment. It's not meant to be taken seriously.

[@RP-sv5dm]

"My name is Harvest... That's my s p i r i t u a l name...." I can't get enough of these roleplays omfg

[@Stephstuff1224]

R P I just heard that part and snorted. Mary is the best.

[@SuperficialGloworm]

R P "my earthbound name is Karen" 😂😂😂

[@carlykriewald7426]

Hilarious, I like how she was Harvest at first then was Haven at the end... the bit about telepathy was just perfect

[@HugeEgoSorry1032]

This is actually hysterical. Not a mother, not planning on having kids, but god DAMN if this isn't relatable. Everyone deals with this type of holier-than-thou asswipe every once in a while.

[@lukemitchell4168]

I'm 21 and I have a 4 year old sister. The amount of unsolicited advice and judgemental looks I get from people thinking I'm her dad is incredible.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Oh Lord! I bet!

[@serenajordahl1544]

harvest keeps her children in rear facing car seats until they're 12

[@MiwaTamu]

@@fnfbehdjkddk 🤣🤣

[@lynnen264]

From one Mom to another Mom...THANK YOU....this was hilarious

[@ghostrjeiskzns372]

Lynne N. i am the 50th liker of your comment (appreciate it)

[@organicgroceries5046]

Sumaya Khanom honestly not necessary

[@cathiemorganmatula9890]

When she announced that her daughter completed her long-form tax return, I cracked up.

[@katieh8186]

Cathie Morgan I'm actually in awe of her acting in this one 😂

[@MsCiachi]

i just gave birth today & im so excited to see this i can go to sleep happy tonight since nobody could spend the night with me because its a shared room, thank you❤

[@Fiobo823]

jazmin jaquez Congrats :) Quick, let's all pile in to give you three tons of unasked for advice, and look down on you for not knowing it already :) Just kidding, as a parent myself I can tell you that this video is stunningly accurate :D

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Congratulations! :)

[@MsCiachi]

Fiobo823 yes i know this is my 2nd baby 😂 i loved this video shes the best❤

[@MsCiachi]

SouthernASMR Sounds thank you ❤❤

[@Fiobo823]

jazmin jaquez Dang it, I only had the one! That of course means that you get to look down on me :D My son is now a strapping 25 year old, but to this day I still get those looks sometimes that say when you've home birthed 17 children without Meds like I have, then perhaps you will be an adequate parent:D

[@AurosOrion]

For those that are watching this for the second time (like myself), and wanna skip the intro, video starts at 9:15

[@juliette1170]

ColorfulConfessions Thank you

[@DruidsCalling]

ColorfulConfessions I liked the intro

[@AurosOrion]

I like the intro too! But I'm here to watch the roleplay, you know? Sometimes you just wanna skip right to it.

[@nancysleftboob5186]

Namaste bitches, oh my lord 😂 I love this character, will we be seeing more of her?

[@gillianbarth5927]

Nancy's left boob yes!! she should reappear from time to time

[@ludmillasummers775]

Nancy's left boob She needs to come back at a child's birthday party

[@maddierose3511]

Gillian Barth m

[@maddierose3511]

Ahh😂 I dropped my phone and it sent that I'm sorry!

[@faellcedaer5034]

Nancy's left boob lol nice name

[@musicismylife320]

"Once my older child saw a picture of a kid eating a hot dog and he asked me what it was and I hyperventilated and passed out" OMG that made me howl lol

[@insanepanda16]

Investigating the organic napkins 😂 this is killing me already. Also is that Ngee or HHHHHHHHngee

[@insanepanda16]

See her skulking around the starbucks, whispering about the non organic coffee beans in dark corners.

[@TheEilish01]

My favourite role play so far!!! Please keep these coming!!

[@nikkolidaanoai6770]

No Honey, from the back of the throat, like this "HnnnnnnGee"

[@bipptyboppitybibitch]

oh my gosh, I love you. haha I was currently called selfish because my SO & I are trying to find someone to watch our three small children so we could have a night out for the first time since October. This was the amazing, I have been binge watching all of your videos!

[@lauraschlieselhuber8487]

-"Do you mind if I sit down with you for a minute ? - Well, um... - Thanks."

[@daniochoa5677]

I smile every time she uploads a "bitchy" video

[@notactive4973]

you kinda look Like phoeboe from friends

[@DruidsCalling]

Morgan Online she's pretty :D

[@loloayala1776]

*hushed whisper and side eye* that woman left and didn't order organic coffee. It's not fair trade. LMAOOOO

[@MrBibi86]

Sanctimommy! sounds like a cult or something lol

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

In some ways, I think it is. I felt sorry for sanctimommies when I was a new mom and had to deal with them on occasion. They seemed to have nothing else going on in their lives other than their children and virtually nonstop judgments of other moms. What a sad way to live.

[@ASMRScientist]

+ *MrBibi86* - lol

[@Em-mx2wu]

SouthernASMR Sounds I thought harvest had natural births

[@1kinnakeeter]

Would love to see more from Harvest--perhaps "How to Prepare Healthful Edamame-Arugula Butter for Your Wee Ones" or "Colon Cleanses for Kiddos".

[@colorfulmind8]

Every time I meet a mom like this I just think that their kid is going to end up like Norman Bates lol.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

LOL

[@VirtuaMe]

Hilarious. Well done, pure talent.

[@jillanehogard5896]

Have you ever considered sending your material/videos to Saturday Night Live? I seriously think you might hear back from them!

[@cristinagalvan4683]

Jillane Hogard agree! It's perfect cause it's funny but relatable

[@katieh8186]

Oh my god this is HILARIOUS how did you keep a straight face

[@katieh8186]

I love your accent, but it goes perfect with this for some reason. 😂

[@marissasimas9258]

OMG this is hysterical... you're really witty.

[@mommyofadiva1]

87 months 😂😂😂 I love ur videos not only relaxing but entertaining!

[@leatherface8268]

7 years lol

[@immortan-valkyrie90]

OMG YES! I have had this happen in front of me with my pregnant cousin. We're Hispanic so our community is heavily Cuban so old Cuban women would tell her what she was doing wrong at every moment. even our grandmother would do this!

[@jules3666]

PLEASE do more roleplays with this character! I would love to see her do a passive-aggressive palm reading!

[@WhispList]

Oh my god, this was hysterical! I don't have any children, but I have absolutely seen mothers like this. And your humour is so subtle and well delivered! Brilliant.

[@Blackscab99]

You know, im not a mom (im only 17) but I'm an avid babysitter in NYC and i have been picking up these two girls from school in the city and taking them home to queens. They're pretty wild, but we have so much fun, and I've been on the bus with them, minding our own business but all be it being a little crazy when you know people want to step on with a smile on their face to me but trying to discipline these sweet girls!! Yes maybe they need a little more discipline then i'm giving them but that does not give the random lady that I may or may not know the right to discipline someone else kids. Not only does it not help but it undermines my "authority". Crazy people!

[@margiehandler3427]

I love your bitchy role plays cause when I am down you make me laugh

[@HaIcyonic]

"Haven is 41 months old, she was reading Beowolf and speaking Cantonese by the age of three, and last week she did my long form taxes for me." Amazing.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Halcyonic Harvest: "Well, what can I say? Know better, DO better." #BlessedNotStressed #AmazingLife

[@abigailclaire6804]

Oh my gosh this is great!! I laughed so hard when I saw the shirt 😂

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Thanks! I've been looking forward to wearing it! In videos is the only place I can do it. I can't exactly wear it out grocery shopping. :)

[@sunflower7766]

SouthernASMR Sounds dare you wear it out somewhere!

[@quinnbeitzel9979]

I just realized that "Nghees" name is a Frasier reference 😂😂

[@ludmillasummers775]

Awww.....Harvest is gonna get throat punched. lol Love it!

[@evilcuteness8194]

You get a lot of miseducation. My MIL shamed me horribly for breast feeding. She couldn't stop talking about how disgusting it was....and I got the people invading my personal bubble all the time when I was prego. I love my kids, but I'm never having another one if I can help it. I wish women would stop trying to break other women down instead of being supportive. It's hard enough already. PS: So funny. Keep it up :)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

My mom had my brother and me in the late 60s/early 70s, and a Swedish nurse that my mom met in the hospital when my brother was born convinced her to breastfeed. Apparently this was very unpopular in the US during that time because a LOT of sanctimommies criticized her for it. They said it was disgusting, unsanitary, barbaric (?!), and just plain nasty. I don't know why women are often so eager to tear each other down. It really bothers me that so many women choose to do this, whether it's about babies/pregnancy or other stuff. Imagine what we could accomplish if we just supported and encouraged each other.

[@evilcuteness8194]

As challenging as it is to be a mom these days, I can't imagine what our mothers went through. The more I learn about what my mom went through back in the day, the more I just want to give her a big bear hug and ask her forgiveness for being such an ungrateful little ass. If your mom's still around give her a huge hug and show her some love (sorry if that's sanctimomious). I agree about what women can achieve when they step out of the crab mentality mindset. It could be utterly amazeballs.

[@rae_lh]

My mother has never quite recovered from being told she couldn't breastfeed and it's a wonderful feeling to know there are people who understand what she's been through

[@Willehb1]

Ngee 87 months too funny, beowulf and taxes had me in stitches

[@user-bc1dt9jy1y]

SOME OF IT IS IN SANSKRIT omg that killed me i am now currently dead

[@alexandra_vic_]

this is fantastic! I can't stand moms like this and I think "attachment parenting" is such bullshit and more for the mom than the child. your tone and style in this video is PERFECT!

[@katieh8186]

Alexandra Victoria yep. It is not going to help the child be independent when they grow up

[@kerirek]

"My children, blindfolded, can sit down and make a completely accurate copy of a Rembrandt painting." I lost it 😂😂😂

[@TheArchAngelfish]

I have no idea how I found this video or why I'm here but you deserve some kind of award for your outstanding performance here.

[@Arfurido]

87 months, so accurate xD

[@AsheDragonz]

she's so woke

[@katieh8186]

Joshua Garner af

[@polinab6988]

I don't even have kids, but I loved it sooo much

[@idgiecarson]

Actually I like to describe my child's age in seconds.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

A REAL mom of littles would use nanoseconds, but...I'm sure you're doing your best. :)

[@beagoodhuman44]

I actually snorted when you came in shot. "Harvest" 🍁🍂🦄🔮🕉

[@BeautyMonster1000]

That shirt! Namaste Bitches! ;D

[@evilcuteness8194]

That shirt. Hah!

[@iluvsakuraandsyaoran]

thank you for being considerate of people who may not enjoy this! i thought it was really thoughtful and considerate of you to give a warning to this. i know i personally am enjoying this though xx

[@karenjulian1017]

“ I wear my children whenever possible” 😂😂😂😂 I cant even!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@kanyepepper564]

I’m gonna be a *SHOOK* mom

[@sanderverweij1997]

it's not real,it"s a doll.hanging out in my closet .hold still.comedy Genius

[@evilcuteness8194]

The comedy is strong with this one.

[@Himaryous]

It's funny that as I have watched all the Harvest videos I go back and look at this one and think how Harvest became progressively more insane with every video. So in this video she seems normal by comparison.

[@misswilde3054]

Regarding these sanctimommies... life's too short to be condescending about other people's choices imo. I for one have enough with living my own life and not giving people hypocritical advice (of course i am talking about them). Oh boy! I died when you said 87 months and the other kid doing the taxes!! :) Great job as always.

[@misswilde3054]

NAMASTÉ BITCHES

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Amen to that. I'm too busy minding my own business to worry about anybody else's.

[@HazzaShay]

I love your videos! This made me laugh. I love your soft spoken voice and your accent 😍 xx

[@spjke7404]

as soon as I you took your jacket off and I saw your shirt, I started laughing so hard😂 I love this!

[@daennnerys]

The one thing I tell all my friends who are expecting is "You are going to get a LOT of unsolicited advice. People will tell you all the wrong things you are doing and how you should raise your baby. Trust your instinct, because every baby is different and you know your little one best." Thank you for your video, Mary! Also, this was way to funny to be relaxing :P

[@disvillage]

I literally spewed my coffee out all over watching this. Great job, and I love the little one on your lap. LOLOLOL

[@AdvantageousAngie]

Yesss! I was rushing into the store really quick Because my son had just spit up all over his hat and I didn't want him to be in the cold too long. This woman stopped me to scold me for not having a hat on him. it wasn't even THAT cold out. mid to upper 40s.

[@AdvantageousAngie]

I have some serious resting bitch face though, so luckily I don't get many comments or unsolicited advice from strangers. Other than old men telling me to smile. ugh.

[@skh_okakok]

One of my coworkers is a sanctimommy! I CANNOT stand it because I've met her kids and they're not extraordinary or anything special. They're normal kids and one is just plain annoying 🙊

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

The sanctimommy that I had to deal with when I had my first child was like that. Constantly educating me on this or that, and her daughter was like a wild animal, and really nothing to brag about. She was already sanctimonious about stuff like her mommy. She was only six and already lecturing me about the evils of disposable diapers. (I guess in sanctimommy land, that made her advanced.)

[@goopy5853]

SouthernASMR Sounds wonderful delight 🤓

[@sopheep]

"I'm sure you've seen these children who are in front of screens all the time, they're like little zombies-" harvest, you don't need to break the fourth wall

[@Joymac713]

YAS! You made a bold choice here and I like.

[@virg0_lem0nade]

hahahaha nailed it. you are hilarious, & also spot on, lol

[@toujoursici1675]

Another perfectly funny role play. You're so darn good. I had never heard of Sanctimommies before but I visited the Facebook page and the comments are amazing, lol. :)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

The comments to their posts are the best part!

[@amberlee.nycole.perrine8150]

"I don't know what I did, to deserve perfect children" OML.

[@deergreentea2847]

ur so entertainingg!!!! 😂😂😂 i always watch asmr before bed but ur vids are hilarous and relaxing at the same thing😂

[@wallflowerr]

Lmfao this isn't a comedy channel? Your amazing!!!!!! Love your voice

[@delaneym.7412]

This would happen to my mom all the time when she was pregnant with me and then my brother. Touching strangers, touching their CHILDREN, all the advice she didn't want or need. I've met a few sanctimommies when out with my little cousins trying to give me their """helpful""" advice. We love you Mary, you work so hard for us and we appreciate you so much💙💙💙

[@cristinagalvan4683]

You are so right this happened to me as well. It is frustrating and I am sorry you had to encounter this type of behavior.. btw you are amazing and I love your videos.. thank you.

[@kayla0792]

Mary, I’m so glad that you turned comments back on. That rude person(s) was small minded and was probably just trying to make you upset for the fun of it, no matter how horrible it is to think of that. However, I feel as the comment section on your videos is what makes your channel feel like a community. I really hope you continue to post videos as they help so much with my anxiety and falling asleep at night. However, don’t rush your break, I just wanted to let you know that you are one of my favorite KZbinrs and I love that you upload so much!😀

[@carlystreny5030]

I love harvest!! She is quickly becoming one of my favs! I think people who haven't watched any of your other videos and don't know your story might be offended but your amazing!!!

[@CordeliaCharter]

Oh my goodness, I was DYING LAUGHING the whole time. Perfection.

[@JennaJew3035]

i laughed so hard at this! please do another!!

[@narwhalsrock1220]

I love the role play and the shirt😂

[@LadyNubia007]

I really enjoyed this. You are absolutely hilarious! 😄😄😄

[@emmahayes1509]

I was NOT expecting that shirt! I laughed so hard!!! 😂😂😂

[@emma122002]

"Im comfortable with any child that's comfortable with themselves" *why is that statement so cute*

[@henrietahylander5819]

"You know damn well it's not."😂😂

[@bluejay8290]

I just love this! It's like a revival of early 70's hippie mom's.

[@kelseymac2780]

Hahahahaha loved it! I am a new mummy and I could really relate 😂 Perfect 👌🏻

[@xxhell_chamberxx_2]

OMG, I know this video is 3 years old, but I am 24 years old with my first daughter, who will be 6 months old this month, and I absolutely LOVE this 😂🤣 I love your honesty at the beginning, I relate to that a lot. And thanks for sharing the sanctimommy page, it’s wonderful.

[@halfasleepvampire7545]

My internal dialogue throughout the video: "Oh my god... oh mY GOD.... OH MY FUC- What in the- who- I am. Shooketh. NO." Funniest thing I've witnessed all week!

[@kaylamorgan7308]

🎶"Once I was 87 months old"🎶

[@kayla0792]

I remember one day shortly after my father had passed away and I was having a horrible day I was in Target with my two young kids and they were misbehaving and going off and hiding in racks and being loud and what not. I was trying to tell them to stop, however I was so overwhelmed with grief, anger, and any other possible emotion you could be feeling I just didn’t have the energy to discipline them. All of a sudden a woman came up to me and said “that’s not how you should parent your children. I never yelled at my kids and they turned out great. Your kids are going to have some serious problems because of you when they are older.” It was the rudest and most mean thing I had ever been told by somebody in my whole life, and it was from a stranger in target! Lesson of the day, treat others how you want to be treated. Remember to always follow the golden rule.

[@mangopayaso]

Let's,,, not equate being "offended/annoyed/angered" by being "triggered"

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Fin Oh I'm sorry. So sorry. (Backs away slowly) 😟

[@mangopayaso]

SouthernASMR Sounds I'm not entirely too sure if you're being sincere or playful.. So I do apologize if my comment seemed rude, it wasn't meant to be !!

[@imonlyhereforthelaughs]

Oh my gosh I love this lol it's spot on 😂😂😂😂

[@lover2122]

so accurate it hurts 😂😂 im one of 5 kids and my mom is always getting hit with "advice" like this... and yet, you somehow made it relaxing ?? great video !

[@ohhhshitson]

"It's like Simon says". Lmao oh hell no. 😂😂

[@whisperlistens]

I just snort laughed chocolate milk on the floor. The part where she put him back in the sling and ran from the picture of the hotdog!! Hilarious!

[@aimeelowery]

“Since they have Perfect Rhythm” I cried

[@Mangzorz]

LOL "87 months old". that got me. I used to be a photographer and had a huge issue with women who would tell me their baby's age in months instead of years. The first year is fine, sure, but I definitely had a few that were in the twenties and thirties. So annoying. You nailed this role play. Thanks for doing it.

[@gigi9234]

I love this, and thank you for the warning in the beginning! I just thought I'd let you know that being triggered is not being offended/upset, triggers cause intense emotional and physical reactions in people with conditions such as PTSD and are very serious. if you feel that content is upsetting or may offend people, what is often used is a 'content warning'. sorry just thought it would be useful to know. also I love your videos! :)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

I think the people that leave negative messages to my bitchy videos are indeed experiencing intense emotional and physical reactions. Just like the trigger warnings that some students now demand on college campuses across the US, I felt that the potentially upsetting theme of this video needed one. I still feel that that is the case. I see that, so far, I only have a few thumbs down. Normally by now, I'd have a LOT more. The trigger warning is proving effective, at least in my opinion.

[@gigi9234]

SouthernASMR Sounds I agree that it was needed, and I'm glad you acknowledged it! I just thought I'd clarify the difference between the two experiences. thank you :)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Gee ! Ah, it's always good to be educated in these forums. Namaste! ❤️❤️

[@dream-landing]

19:19 - 19:32 makes me laugh so freaking hard, just your whole face and the whispering, it was so natural and hilarious

[@asmrcookielady1535]

This is my favorite character of yours.... HANDS DOWN! I dont care for the pushy in your face bitchy videos, but this.... omgoodness this is perfection.

[@gillianbarth5927]

Oh my god this is perfect 😂😂 thank you. My brother is a single dad and when my niece was very small I put it out there to friends that I was open to advice that might help him. Definitely wound up regretting that choice!! Turns out if you buy store brand to save money you're just neglectful?? And don't get me started on him not breast feeding, never mind that he physically can't. (She's 8 months now and in perfect health, lol) anyhoooo.... This made me laugh AND gave me tingles. You are really a talented actress! Lovely :)

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

It amazes me, the things total strangers can assume about you. My mom was 34 when she had me, and she went gray prematurely (started going gray at 17). She had almost a full head of gray hair by the time I was in elementary school. People assumed all the time that she was my grandmother when I was little. She was constantly praised on taking care of her granddaughter!

[@annalisepaige528]

this video is years old but I’m here anyway, can we talk about how in the intro when Mary holds the doll she instinctively holds it to her shoulder and starts rocking a little?? 🥺🥺 so precious and sweet

[@funnyvideosRawesome5]

I love your shop signs, lol. I don't really get triggered by the bitchy ASMR either, but I enjoy the comedy of it so in that way it helps me relax.

[@angiemaree1038]

"Sugar and candy and parks and, you know, amusement parks and.... balloons" I loved that line!

[@alem4477]

this is glorious!! you created this sanctimommy perfectly!

[@SuperficialGloworm]

she did my long form taxes for me.....😂😂😂

[@SuperficialGloworm]

I was so sure you were going to say "you're having a... baby!"

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Harvest: "I don't see what's so funny. Nguy didn't tackle the long form tax endeavor until he was 41.2 months old." #KnowBetterDoBetter #BestMom

[@susanaarambula3268]

I'm not even a mom! Your videos are so entertaining it's 4am over here and I'm wide awake and can't stop watching now 😩

[@KarenRiffe]

Oh no you didn't Harvest....my name is Karen. But I am right there with you girl. You are too funny. LMAO. I swear. 🤣🤣🤣🙃🙃🙃❣❣❣