Black Femininity Content is Eurocentric? (and other WEAK arguments)

[@XxAzureNekoxX]

How is femininity white? 😂😂😂 I’m a WOMAN! Being feminine is my RIGHT.

[@nicolenicole2198]

Girl thats probably them XY's talking that corny shit.

[@librateen632]

Lol that rhythms. Turn it into a t shirt

[@ChiChichiwe01]

😭😂

[@NoName-sp5dp]

@@hette457 exactly!

[@thesupreme950]

The type of femininity Chrissie pushes on Black women is indeed Eurocentric. There are ways to be feminine without using white standards. Chrissie only ever goes by white standards of femininity though and it’s obvious. And just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you’re inherently feminine

[@malikastone]

This sounds like a grown up version of the "you talk white/you act white" schoolyard criticisms some Black children used to get back in the day from other Black kids because they spoke clearly and got high grades. This time its about femininity. The real question is: why are some of us associating positive traits/habits with whiteness?

[@Bloombaby99]

I just said the same thing.

[@ladydi1391]

Couldn't have said it better

[@candylove49]

I’ve asked this question for YEARS. It’s almost like, anything that is UPLIFTING and POSITIVE is only for white people. That mindset is more harmful and detrimental to the psyche than a “black chick” eating a Kale Salad on a Tuesday Afternoon.

[@KDbelieves]

This! I was bullied so much growing up and now as an adult, I notice all of my bullies attacked me for my feminity. My mother loved having a girl, so she went all out. She always made sure I was dressed extra cute. She would do my hair every week and give me perfume, kitten heels jewelry etc even at the age of 6. I was bullied for those things. People used to pull my hair every time I got them done or throw my shoes over fences. Spit in my notebook etc just because I was girly. We have a deep-rooted, subconscious and instinctual hate for feminity in black girls. Especially dark black girls. Just like how other blacks hate when we dared to step out the box of "blackness". If you dared to not be ghetto. Dared to have money. Dared to be intelligent etc, you were trying to be white. I remember getting bullied simply because I was reading a book on my way home. I got followed home and almost got jumped. This is the type of b.s that goes on. People will really hate you just because you are different from what black people are expected to be.

[@LaReginaPatrizia]

Preach

[@pinklady2994]

Femininity channels are taking off, I’ve seen so many new Black Women content creators. There is a shift happening. It’s great to see. 💕 No one is forcing anyone to watch what they don’t want to. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@GlamorGrowthTravelwithMica]

I am loving seeing all the black femininity channels pop up. We need more and more of this. Because obviously from the Mammies, pickmies, social warrior justice, capers, A lot of black women don’t realize the power of Feminity.

[@kawaiikoibito3268]

True but I only choose to watch Chrissie, and sometimes Paris Milan because I like that they still talk about social issues and don't just discuss surface-level stuff and go more In-depth

[@Cattitude369]

Yes, it is so beautiful 💜💜 The shift is happening and is so needed. I love all of the focus on being more feminine. I think every woman will find her way and what feminine means to her but we need to keep pushing this narrative!

[@LadyLuck1122]

oooh what other channels can you suggest?!

[@mimia.4810]

Tjenelle1 The feminine fancy is a good one.

[@FeminineVibez]

I grew up in the hood. I’ve always been soft spoken and non-confrontational. I was teased a lot because of that. It seems like being soft in black communities make you a target. I’m so happy to see other black women speaking out against the whole “warrior princess” narrative. We should be allowed to be soft and feminine.

[@missaaliyaha]

@@nadiam.4750 same, they used to call me an Oreo

[@pluto6984]

same i’m a quiet 13 year old girl and it’s surprising to see how other blk ppl (especially blk boys) treat me opposed to other quiet non-black girls. how i’m seen as a push over and a loser while they’re seen as normal everyday girls that everyone loves. it’s sad 😕.

[@ladylefteye]

chiioma keep being true to yourself despite how they treat you. You are a gem and a queen. It’s ok to be quiet and a black girl. I went through the same thing when I was your age. Most of my peers thought I was odd. Ppl who did not know me said I was too quiet and they associated that with something negative. It’s ok to be girly, feminine, quiet as a black girl or woman. I think you are awesome. Have you heard of WriteGirl? Look it up on google. It’s an awesome writing club for young girls your age.

[@pluto6984]

Latasha Edwards OMG! thank you! it’s very heart warming to know someone else had gone through what i’ve been through and i’ll definitely look up ‘WriteGirl’ on google 💕

[@ladylefteye]

chiioma You’re Welcome. I wish you the best.

[@thee_bougiebronzebeauty5192]

The same people screaming that black people aren't a monolith will be the first ones to mock you when you don't act/speak/think/dress/etc in a stereotypically "black way". It's annoying as hell.

[@dinkyboss]

that part!! Took the words right out of my mouth

[@MultiSmartass1]

It strikes one as contradictory.

[@hadbetterdays8118]

True I get so much laughs to me because I don't like certain things

[@bumblebee_0112]

Facts

[@ScenicSha]

I personally love all of the femininity content. My ONLY problem is when certain content creators center the movement around men, what men want, and why some women are STILL unworthy if they don't have a man "with a bag." It's weird. I believe every woman should start this journey for self and that should be the main focus. You'll get further putting yourself first.

[@b.alexisbeauty5013]

Exactly, that’s what I discuss on my femininity channel. About femininity being a self journey and how the rewards and opportunities in life will naturally flow to you.

[@LuxuriousLifestyle4]

Robin Lasha Femininity is about YOU ladies! That’s what I teach on my channel ❤️

[@ScenicSha]

@@b.alexisbeauty5013 I agree & I'll check your channel out. I did a video on this too & it's my next topic series. I'm glad Chrissie mentioned to how it's good to see more women speaking up for representation purposes.

[@Ashley-rl7db]

I agree. It makes me roll my eyes.

[@alext3480]

where did that phrase come from "with a bag", "secure the bag"

[@Maki-00]

Why do some people act as if everything that’s not “hood” is Eurocentric? I grew up in the 80s and 90s when the tough girl/tomboy image was everything. I’m glad to finally embrace my femininity!

[@Melanie-le6mw]

I know! Same here

[@candylove49]

Thank you! If you aren’t rolling your neck, popping gum and snapping your fingers; then you are a white woman apparently 🤷‍♀️

[@ninasamone87]

It’s just a bunch of ignorance and uncultured people with this mindset.

[@Maki-00]

Morgan J Someone had the nerve to tell my cousin that she “dressed white” because she was wearing leggings! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Bloombaby99]

Even so, the women in the 80s and 90s did have the balance of femininity whereas today, women want to be men 100%.

[@Mackenzietkd526]

I teach martial arts for a living and have studied the history of the "Warrior woman" in all ancient societies. The common denominator 99.9% of the time in African, Asian, Nordic and Native American warrior women is the women were trained for combat so in the event the MEN were away or killed, they could protect the home and children if an enemy tried to conquer them. Women very rarely went to battle, they were usually home makers. Also every ethnicity had Warrior women especially Asian, but for some reason only black women are over stimulated with this idea and I feel its to make us not want to desire hypergamous unions and hold black men accountable for their lack of protection.

[@candylove49]

LDY X interesting point... hmmmm👀

[@lilpinkbubbles6592]

Very profound comment.

[@tamaratamara3072]

Thanks for saying TRAINED FOR COMBAT

[@unfazedjae2645]

LDY X It’s cause Asians are meant to be submissive. That’s what white media says smh

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@Diamon. I've always thought that.

[@rizzybone964]

I feel like these women saying Black femininity is Eurocentric is a problem, and give into the "Strong Black Woman" stereotype that hurt our image especially as Dark skin black women. Ladies If doesn't apply let it fly, but some of us want to tap into our Divine Femininity that we weren't taught how to do growing up and there is nothing wrong with that. And just because i want to be softer in approach toward others, be healthy mentally and emotionally, keep up with my physical appearance, smile more, and most importantly wake up and live in a safe environment doesn't mean i want to be 'white'. Good Day.

[@Blaquebarbgamer]

Off topic, I love your profile pic. Kill bill part 1 is my favorite movie of all time.

[@naturalhairdiscovery]

I agree. I’m not dark skin but light brown skin and it applies to call shades of women. There is nothing wrong with femininity at all... I also have a mascuelent side as well. When it comes to dating I think the latter is appropriate.

[@aishaondrums]

Exactly🙌🏾✨❣️

[@yes_blackgirlslisten2rock489]

Ladies, it is perfectly okay to be Feminine, let us embrace it! ❤️

[@I_am_milan]

I don't know why the black women who oppose femininity even care or feel threatened. Go do you & leave everyone else alone. We're not a monolith.

[@mandamandamanda6722]

I think it’s because they think that black women would be conceding to the notion that we are masculine/aggressive. They think that by black women watching femininity gurus that would confirm that what society says about us is true. This is what I’ve heard them (the detractors) say.

[@meymay11]

Bc they are women and no woman wants to feel masculine and ugly next to other women. They can’t pretend another bw is in a different category so they attack and shame you to prevent it from happening.

[@SA-nt9kl]

Thank you!! I couldn’t agree more

[@annitab7062]

@@mandamandamanda6722 I agree with this but I also think it might be deeper than that. I think a lot of black woman have truly accepted that femininity (in the form these channels push) is not for them, that maybe they're not good enough for it. So they hate the content because it confronts them and shows them that it could be for them if they want it to. It's the defeatist mentality.

[@mandamandamanda6722]

Anittha Brown I believe that could be a contributing factor as well but I actually believe many if not most of the detractors are not coming from a bad place. I think they are just concerned about the optics and how it might make black women look. Society constantly tells black women that we are masculine and aggressive. Black women constantly push back against this narrative. For black women to embark on a “femininity movement” it might give the impression that black women have conceded and confirm that we actually agree with what society has been saying about us. Obviously black Women like you and me know it’s deeper than that. But other black women are more concerned about the optics they feel like it’s us saying “ok society you’re right we really aren’t feminine and actually are these negative things you’ve said we are.” Some black women might feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about the implication or feel like society will once again twist it against us some how. I’m a supporter of these femininity/leveling up channels, but only ones like Chrissie’s that go beyond the surface. None the less, I can see where the detractors are coming from and their concerns.

[@JaLisaMarie]

I literally miss watching my mom paint her nails , put rollers in her hair , taking her time moisturizing. Just little things she did because she was beautiful and remained well kept. She was my gateway to caring for and utilizing my feminine self. I saw that women walk into rooms with a smile and capture everyone. I want to be like that.

[@bd3966]

Aw I love that you have those memories of her

[@abayneshbelloni3737]

bet she would be so proud to hear this from her daughter🥺

[@esemusic8294]

💜

[@saeon4427]

I've come to the conclusion that some black women simply love being masculinized but yet complain bout being treated like men

[@annitab7062]

I don't think these black women feel protected enough to retreat from masculinity and embrace femininity. You need to feel secure to be vulnerable which is what they see femininity as.

[@irrelevance3859]

We've been adjusted to it and ingrained for so long some black women are believing it in my opinion. It's internalised. It's not natural for black women to be feminine and that's a problem

[@stephlyndsey3932]

What's wrong with being sexy, dainty, and keeping your standards high? Society wants black women to be loud baby mamas and when we don't fall in line the world is SHOOK 🥴🥴🥴 Some black women will never get it, leave them behind in the dust sista ✌️

[@amareimani4432]

Thank you

[@missme9650]

Most african women weren't warriors they were stay at home wives, that's why till this day many of them still push this life style, my auntie lived in debt for 10 years to put her two daughters in expensive private schools so they could be surrounded by boys from wealthy families, my mom does similar things, that's why miss universe preached about leadership because most african girls are not raised to be leaders and independent, being traditional has it's benefits but it can feel very suffocating sometimes.

[@eca6545]

Wait did your aunties method yield any results

[@bernardethg]

@@eca6545 Its normally does work and many marriages have happened because of this

[@dre245]

people think ancient African women were all wakandan Warriors when Infact there was some sort of patchriarcy in many societies.

[@missme9650]

@@eca6545 yeah my older cousin is married the son of the Minister of culture and her sister is dating the son of an oil company VP.

[@eca6545]

@@missme9650 wow kudos to your aunty real MVP

[@crazybeautifullens]

As a South African woman I appreciate that you pointed out that Africa has different tribes and different cultures. I often get confused when I hear AA reject femininity on the basis of it not being Afro-centric. There are plenty of tribes in South Africa alone that have always embraced femininity as a core. Prior to colonization. As a Zulu woman I would like to highlight that my culture has been deeply patriarchal, including in pre-colonial times. We can debate the merits and demerits that the patriarchal structure brings on another day. However, the essence of my comment is that this patriarchal structure was also premised on the expectation that women are feminine homemakers, and men are the warriors/providers. In the Zulu traditional culture there have always been established gender roles. Men provide, and women take care of the home. A man who doesn’t provide is actually abhorred and judged rather harshly in my culture - by other men. There were stories of men who would try abdicate their familial responsibilities by holing up with a mistress in another village. It would be the men of his original village that would go find him and bring him home to his family because it is understood that a “real man takes care of his familial responsibilities”. In fact the South African black community is seeing a break down of family structure in modern day, including high absent fatherhood, BECAUSE of the influence of western (liberal) culture. It’s become a real topic of conversation in our communities because it was never the norm. In the traditional sense having a mistress was frowned upon because my culture allowed for polygamy. You want to be with more than one woman? Fine? Marry them. Make them wives. BUT... Even within the polygamy structure only a man of means could “afford” to take on more than one wife. Why? Well, firstly in a traditional Zulu polygamous structure the wives don’t live under one roof. The man builds each wife her own home with her children, within the same homestead (land that he owns). Secondly, in my culture we have the tradition of “lobola” (dowry). A man is required to pay lobola/dowry to the bride’s family - as a token of appreciation to her parents for raising the woman he has fallen in love with. In Zulu culture the woman is perceived as the delicate prize. And of course her value & worth is also closely linked to: whether she is still a virgin, whether she has out of wedlock children, and of course whether she is born of royal blood. The woman’s family sets the dowry price/amount. In pre-colonial days a man’s wealth was identified by the number of cattle he owned. So the lobola/dowry was paid in the form of cattle. And now, post-colonial days it’s paid in cash. Of course, colonization also brought with it a change in factors that influence the lobola/dowry amount in modern day. Factors include: whether the bride’s socio-economic standing is higher, how highly educated she is, where she was educated (for example if she studied in the elite schools in the US/UK the price is set higher) etc. I’ve known of Zulu’s ladies whose lobola/dowry was set as high as $10 000 (USD). So it then follows that if a man is going to take on more than one wife, he is going to have to be able to afford multiple dowries/lobola. That man has to be wealthy. I say all this to say this: femininity is not Eurocentric. There are African cultures that have always embraced femininity and traditional gender roles long before white people showed up on the continent. That’s all I wanted to clarify 🙂 Thank you for the great content as always Chrissie 💖

[@theservinggirl]

Wow! Thank you!!

[@candylove49]

I really appreciated you breaking this down. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

[@crazybeautifullens]

On the topic of rules, in traditional Zulu culture if a man impregnates a woman outside of marriage and doesn’t eventually marry her, he has to pay her family inhlawulo (fine/damages). Yes. He is fined for impregnating a woman he doesn’t intend on marrying. These were some of the accountability measures that were placed on the men as well. So even though there is a lot of pressure on girls to remain virgins, a man who breaks a woman’s virginity and impregnates her would pay a price for doing so (literally).

[@chechiwa_nyangu]

This is true in Zambia as well

[@kayiba_Malebe]

Silindile, I agree 1000%. I speak originally from Democratic republic of Congo and currently residing in South Africa. There are over 100 tribes in Congo alone. I'm from the Muluba tribe. One can read up on them. We are very very patriarchal and women are taught how to be feminine as soon as she menstruates. We're taught how to take care of our hair, how to be clean, presentable and how to be a good home maker, because make no mistake, Muluba men are very traditional. My mom has been a housewife all her life. I don't think she's ever worked a day in her life. Most of our men are taught to be providers and protectors as well. Femininity is not new to many African cultures it's just new for black women overall on the internet and socail media. But we have been about it. African women spend millions on hair, make up and skin care. Revlons, Pantenes and Brazilian hair have been in African countries since forever, they been knowing.

[@sweetlovingkind352]

I lived in Mozambique for almost two years 2017-2019. I was not prepared for the level of femininity of the women. The country is 95% black. Most of the population is extremely poor but those ladies found WAYS to express their femininity. It wasn’t forced or played-up. It was their nature. Black women are naturally feminine. It’s mainly in the west are we so masculinized.

[@GlamGoddes101]

How did they do it(their femininity)? I’d love to hear about their culture

[@luciaugwu2476]

Tell us more I’m really interested 🥺

[@redvelvetcakeYUM]

Same in Kenya 🇰🇪 when I visited last year.

[@annasamara8162]

Exactly ! Exactly ! I get confused often because African women are soo feminine I'm Ghanaian

[@bbpersonalpage1613]

Exactly 💯

[@FuchsiaSquare]

Not sure why my comments keep being deleted, but as I implied, Black women need to drop the notion that we have to wear masculinity on our shoulders.🤦🏾‍♀️

[@nicolenicole2198]

Mine too 🙄

[@Sienna.Jen2971]

KZbin is low-key enforcing censorship 🙄

[@FuchsiaSquare]

Finger Coils - It gets posted. You go back and check 5 minutes later and the Sh*t is gone.😑

[@mandamandamanda6722]

It happens to me all the time. What criteria do they even go by to decide to censor people’s comments? I’ve written comments that are pc and uncontroversial and they still get deleted. Like wtf is going on??

[@kawaiikoibito3268]

I laughed out loud when Chrissie said cherry picked and showed a photo of cherries🤣🤣

[@nalaninani8005]

Right😄

[@CrownedxKay]

I CACKLED !!! 😩😂🤣🤣

[@AminahMight]

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂same

[@ms.marion8431]

🤣

[@MartianBlues11]

I think the claims that femininity is “Eurocentric” is both sort of a defense mechanism (because some BW feel as if they are “less than” for not maintaining a feminine image) as well as an attempt to uphold the “strong kWeEN” narrative that has been thrust upon them by the “community.” We have been conditioned since childhood to be non-feminine because we “needed to be strong” for BM. We need to protect BM from WM. We need to provide for BM because it’s “just so hard for him” in this whyte society. So the dislike for classic femininity is a smokescreen to mask the other issues in the community that we don’t really want to address. We don’t want to acknowledge that men are asking us for protection, provisions, emotional support, and comfort, all while giving us quite literally nothing in return. We resent those that point out the wretched dynamics in our community, and we lash out at those who have what we feel like we aren’t allowed to have (or don’t deserve to have ☹️) This is all just my opinion of course, but I think it’s quite sad.

[@nmpoy]

very eloquently put. and you’re absolutely right

[@thankyounext365]

African women are some of the most feminine women I have ever seen. Dusty women just want a excuse to be dusty.

[@escah9150]

Well said.

[@thesupreme950]

The type of femininity Chrissie pushes on Black women is indeed Eurocentric. There are ways to be feminine without using white standards. Chrissie only ever goes by white standards of femininity though and it’s obvious.

[@escah9150]

@@thesupreme950 And what are those"white standards of feminity"? Can you be specific?

[@ChuChild]

I'm not into the strong black woman stereotype because of all the negativity it brings my way. I'm an introvert. I like anime. I like being considered more cute than sexy. I like softer things. I have a softer side. I'm ok with being seen as delicate. I like classical and Chinese instrumental music. I'm sick of being stereotyped.

[@Ms.MD7]

And I like hearing that. I'm Asian and I had a black friend fr highschool who loved anime and Hello Kitty as much as I did 😊

[@thatwomannamedmel2992]

Same here Bacon.

[@bumblebee_0112]

Yes girl can we be friends lol. I hate it for the same reason, I am nothing like the stereotype and It harms me allot confidence wise, it hurts sometimes. But wow this comment is like the story of my life.

[@Window4503]

This is actually becoming its own inner cultural “stereotype” or clique. I’m also a black anime-loving introverted woman. So is my cousin. So are some of my favorite KZbinrs. It’s the type of black girl that seems to have been created by herself but that the world hasn’t fully acknowledged yet.

[@darlin9153]

I will admit that when it comes to femininity videos, I do look for advice from black women. In my opinion, I see white and black femininity view points are different. Our goals and lifestyles are different. While some topics have the same concept, I feel like it's a privilege to be a black woman and be seen as an actual woman. Just as much as our white counterparts. Not us being over sexualized, fetishized, and seen as some Jezebels.

[@morbiddom9587]

'It's a privilege to be a black woman and be seen as an actual woman.' This is something I thought about in middle school but at the time didn't know how to articulate it. For years I feel like I have been fighting to be seen as a woman.

[@saeon4427]

True

[@alext3480]

@@morbiddom9587 yup ! we are seen as black people first

[@laviniashiponeni1]

You said it all

[@thefemininefancy1921]

This video was so good Chrissie! I particularly loved your rebuttal to the "there's no masculinity content" argument. I think society today is thirsty for truth and men and women BOTH are looking for guidance in these areas. So it's so silly to use that as a way to dissuade women, and black women in particular, from doing the same thing that men and women of other races have been doing forever. Another great video as usual

[@bd3966]

Hi Felicia! 💕 and agreed, I think some women are also sexually threatened by feminine women, as men are biologically wired to desire feminine women, not masculine one's.

[@thefemininefancy1921]

Brittany Davis that’s a really good point!

[@classassignment3643]

Awwww, one of my fave is commenting on another one of my faves videos!

[@naturallykinkyyy9940]

omg, I can’t believe you listen to Chrissie 😅😅 I’m so happy, bc you’re my newest femininity content creator.

[@lismartin8060]

Wanting to be more feminine is going to be expressed differently for each woman. Wanting to be more feminine and dainty does not equate to wanting to be European.

[@happycrocodile30]

A lot of the femininity that white women have exhibited over the last few centuries are all, traditional practices and ways of living that came from ancient African civilizations. Doing your makeup,hair etc. Being diplomatic and calculated etc. The idea of hygiene was introduced to Europeans by the moors. Even in Ghana during colonialism when the tribes would fight the white settlers, the women (since it was a matriarch)would do their makeup as a symbol. It was said spiritually this would give strength to the men fighting the battles. As black women especially we need to embrace our history and our culture. Not everything is about YT womenzz. Totally agree with Chrissie💕

[@Bloombaby99]

I've been sideyeing the country that is "blackistan" for too many years. The fact that even today we still think we can challenge white supremacy when we have yet to challenge the degenerates, the hypocrisy, and the bullshit in our community is laughable to me. If people really did their research, they would see that "pro black" wasn't a term that was thrown around but it was a lifestyle. Until we return our true, positive selves, don't expect me to go to the mountain tops screaming "Black Lives Matter" and don't you DARE expect to see me on the frontlines of a damn protest!

[@guitarstrings8136]

Chrissie .. this is so accurate .. I frequently see black women in the comments under various femininity posts (mostly on IG) countering what is being taught and it’s always baffled me why are they even following the account in the first place, if they don’t have goals on emotional self improvement, leveling up and choosing better mates.

[@CroatanWolf44]

@GuitarStrings That sounds crazy. Self sabotage.

[@mimikelembe]

the “we wuz kangs” narrative 😩😩

[@Ms.MD7]

Lmao so accurate

[@buttertoast8613]

That narrative doesn’t even make sense as a African myself. Not everyone back than was a king or a king like other monarchies in different races there were royalty but not everyone was royalty there was commoners and peasants. This is all coming from a Nigerian girl

[@CynthiaShyi]

Also calling American standards of femininity “Eurocentric” ignores the fact that black women have existed within and contributed to feminine culture in the U.S. for literal centuries.

[@thelookout5802]

Truth..!

[@Alex-hj1vk]

I love gender roles. They're not always oppressive🤷🏾‍♀️masculine men have a drive to protect and provide, so who am I to get in the way of that? We as women are so powerful, our femininity and softness literally inspires a man's drive to produce and build. They produce and build for us! They need us! There is nothing eurocentric about any of this.

[@chinaking918]

This🎯 wish I could like it twice. I don’t mind gender roles at all. If he comes with that energy then he will receive the energy he needs from me.

[@toughcookie6144]

All of THISSSSSSS

[@hungoverpuppy3907]

Jesus, the title makes me roll my eyes, everything is euroentic to these people.

[@dokessezeaka5159]

My mum was telling me back in the day during her grandmothers time in the igbo tribe, young women who were brides were sent to married women in order to reach them hygiene and how to cook, clean and take care of the house. And male worriors would fight in a match for a woman's hand in marriage.

[@ayojoy7358]

I am yoruba and this is so true

[@anonymousanonymous870]

True, now a day some men want women to fight for them

[@camillej4593]

I feel like I have to go to my room, lock the door, get in my closet, cut the lights off, and put a blanket over my head the watch black femininity videos.😢😣🤦🏽‍♀️

[@allsolidarity5622]

Chile, the fact that you even had to make a video explaining this! Some of us hardheaded asf....

[@eyeclapback7182]

Hardheaded and struggling like crazy. 😒

[@zaria3401]

A hard head makes a soft behind

[@buttertoast8613]

Honestly if they are hard headed that’s on them I used to be like that 2 years ago but that’s on them I hope they just don’t push that struggle warrior on to others.

[@pynkincognita7402]

YES. It is just another shaming-tactic to stop BW from practicing self-improvement. (Crabs in a barrel, anyone?) Ignore it and keep moving onward and upward! Great video as always Chrissie. You are very insightful. 🔥🔥

[@tyturner7110]

I have worked with Indian, Korean, even Polish women. I never hear about them feeling guilty for not wearing their “traditional” clothing. I have never seen an Indian woman wear a sari to the office, club, out to lunch... when was the last time you saw a Korean American woman in a hanbok? A Chinese American in a cheongsam? Japanese American in a kimono? But if people at the office don’t praise my threadbare, forever 21, skin tight dashiki dress and giant wooden earrings they are “anti black”? Why are black women not allowed to chose their own style without it making them a traitor? I would love to see more black American women wear those beautiful Nigerian dresses with the wide bottoms and ornate patterns. Instead we trip ourselves to make sure everyone knows durags, acrylic claws and bamboo earrings belong to us. 100 years from now Chanel will still be pushing tweed boucle suits,Hermès will still be making bags, Dior shoes will still cost a fortune and the nouveau riche will find a new poor/working class trend to “elevate”. Professionals will look fondly at the pictures of themselves dressed like urban youths then put on their brooks brothers suits, Ralph Lauren dresses go to their 6figure jobs, country club lunches and we will still be talking about cultural appropriation.

[@othnielletiegnon9930]

It's mindsets like the ones talked about in the video that set black women back.

[@platypusslemon9163]

I'm a Brit and I know lots of beautiful, very feminine African women who work in London. They look feminine and love the whole thing. They look amazing and have never worried about being criticised. Why would they be? They look great. They hang out at designer places, nightclubs in London. No hassles. American society and all its sub-cultures are really mind blowing. African culture for women can be very feminine in my experience from being a friend and work colleague to these ladies.

[@maddipage1347]

Lots of decades of segregation is what started it I believe

[@lxrddcks]

LMAO , my dust bunny of an EXboyfriend called me an “uppity ass fake ass wanna be white ass b*” because I began to embrace my feminity . he was upset that I no longer downplayed being attractive , intelligent , and well put together in order to make him feel secure . needless to say , that was the last time we spoke . 😂

[@eyeclapback7182]

Congratulations on losing that deadweight. Now you can ascend to your rightful place that’s out of his reach. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@KarineAlourde]

Wow I needed to see and hear this video today 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Black women don’t have to all fit the same narrative and same mold ❤️

[@waldoswife.4485]

I love your videos!

[@lindageorge9271]

I started my femininity journey four years ago. I was already married to a provider, builder and protector. But what I found is through this process I started liking myself more and taking better care of myself and this has increased the happiness within our marriage and inspired him also to channel his passions in life and his masculine energy. I began my journey because of The Pink Pill but I also watch chrissie and other femininity channels

[@nathalia_hfitness1681]

The theme of my life at being called, "White Washed" Because I am feminine. It's sad that I cannot be black and feminine. I stopped arguing with people who call me, "white" or "White Washed". I love who I am; I have embraced my femininity and also see the POWER in femininity, which is what some black men and women fail to realize.

[@nathalia_hfitness1681]

@Kittie Katz Thank you! Always. I've learned to accept me no matter what people think because it's not being or acting "white" for being a feminine.

[@nathalia_hfitness1681]

@imjustsaying oh Yea that too, "youre boujee" 🙄 At first, I took it as an insult, not now. "Yes I am boujee and what?! " I always say. Its just that they are insecure and don't want or expect black women who take care of ourselves plus like nice things. 🤷🏾‍♀️💁🏾‍♀️🥂

[@missaaliyaha]

I think they do see the power and it's intimidating, so they try to pressure you into changing so they can be more comfortable.

[@nathalia_hfitness1681]

@@missaaliyaha Yes, thats exactly what my mother thinks too.

[@taram175]

Jada Pinckett Smith has talked about every single subject in the black community but she refuses to discuss Colorism at the Red Table because she’s light skin and she benefits from it.

[@catharsismemory]

It's getting to the point were their just gonna say being born a woman is too eurocentric for black women.

[@WifeandWifeTV]

I got the notification and came right in! What you’re doing for black women and especially DSBW is amazing. People are uncomfortable with change, especially when certain thought processes and behaviors have been conditioned for generations.

[@fabiolafaublas6887]

Well said !!!!💯

[@pg6378]

The only problem I have with some black femininity channels is the STRONG dislike they spew on black natural hair (mainly type 4) being masculine. I have seen an older woman comment how her husband loved her natural 4c hair (the video said we NEEDED weaves/wigs to be feminine), and subscribers of that channel were being so negative and nasty cursing her husband (who they don’t know) and the woman. The one-size-fits-all policing of other women’s femininity is ironically very masculine on their parts. We can be feminine in all black hairstyles (natural, braids, afros, weaves, wigs, etc.), as long as we take care of our hair, and recognize what styles fit our face.

[@TheCherry145]

I also have an issue with them policing others and their dress sense. I embrace individualism alot, I personally think you can incorporate different styles and still be feminine, you don't only have to wear skirts or dresses.

[@phoenixrising9390]

You’ve made several valid points Chrissie! Growing up I was one of those black children that was always teased for “sounding/talking white” because I conjugated my verbs correctly (gasp) and I have a naturally feminine voice. This ignorant statement confused me as a child because I wasn’t trying to speak any other way than what was natural to me. It was simply how I spoke. I see a similar response when it comes to black women being encouraged to embrace their femininity. Why do black people associate all things intelligent and healthy with whiteness? Don’t they realize that they’re inadvertently placing white people on a pedestal? There was a video I saw on FB several years ago in which a young black woman posed the question of why black Americans associate proper speech with whiteness? She mentioned how proper speech is revered in many other cultures (including African cultures) because it is a sign of intellect/education. We’re the only culture that rejects positive attributes like proper speech, upward mobility in education and careers, and femininity to the extent that we do.

[@diablabeauty4585]

I find that weird too when I speak on being more feminine & wanting to be a housewife BM or BW take it as I’m trying to be like white women 🙄 like I’m sorry what? Are you saying only white women deserve to be treated like that

[@KerriganTisdale]

That’s exactly what they’re saying, whether they realize it or not.

[@arabahackman5111]

You’re right the men did pull their weight even in a matrileaneal society. Nana Yaa Asantewaa, Ashanti Queen mother said” if you the men of Ashanti will not go forward,then we the women will” Showing that when necessary women would allow their fighting spirit to come through,and later return to their femininity. Matriarchy is not in any way masculine, women would and still do go through rites of passage for women. European femininity has always been submissive or male bashingly feminist, True African femininity is nothing like that. In more recent history, you can see the feminine in the female soldiers of The late great Thomas Sankara and Ghaddafi . White women have learnt a lot of femininity from us Black women, it’s just white people who have been pushing the narrative and the masculinity on us. And you’re so right again, not everyone was a king or a queen...... Great channel , you keep it real!

[@emmaheart371]

The Ashanti are not matriarchal, they are matrilineal. That means that you inherit (including the throne) from mothers line not your fathers. Men are still the primary leaders.

[@candyyyyyyyyy2222]

💯

[@arabahackman5111]

Emma Heart thank you for pointing out I meant to write matrilineal, I’m Akan so I know 🙏🏾

[@TPinksBeautyxoxo]

I love this movement. I don’t get the BW who are rejecting it? & for what? Being black doesn’t equate to being masculine & hood. It’s another form of struggle and poverty mentality/mindset to me 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@2HootHoot]

Being a feminine black woman makes a world of difference in how society treats me now vs back when I used to be a tomboy.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

What are the main differences?

[@2HootHoot]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I noticed in the work setting that people will go out of there way to assist me, people hold eye contact a lot more, and treat me more kindly with respect overall. They also tend to gravitate more towards me, making it easier to network and find opportunities. I feel like it has made me a more likeable and approachable person.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@2HootHoot That's interesting. I find that the kinder I am to myself, the kinder others are towards me. People will help me if I allow them to, by getting out of my own way. Call it being receptive.

[@TheCherry145]

I personally think you can incorporate both. I refuse to change myself entirely!

[@Maki-00]

2HootHoot Yes. People will say “Yes, Ma’am” to you and open a door for you, etc. when you are feminine. I look way younger than I am and when I was in college still dressing like a tomboy, I looked like a high school kid and was treated as such! I love being treated like a woman now.

[@andreasalmon3430]

I see nothing wrong with black women being feminine I dress more feminine my husband love that

[@justcallmeteacup4711]

Yes, I've experienced a bit of ridicule online and passive aggressive comments from family during this feminine journey and even before. Being girly and soft spoken has resulted in many accusations of being whitewashed and not a real black person 😑

[@purplekitty]

I love when backwards people subconsciously help you out. Anything that black people react to that they don’t like I like, what they don’t do I do, what they love i dislike. It actually works WONDERS!

[@RoyaltyAC]

I really appreciate what you said about the diverse culture in Africa. I'm half Nigerian half ADOS and it is so bewildering when people talk about what "Africans" do and do not do. I'm like, do you realize that in just ONE country there are dozens of different cultures. The way one language group dresses, wears their hair, food that they eat, or events celebrated can be drastically different than their neighbors' down the road? I guarantee that for every "Afro-centric" characteristic/behavior hoteps praise there are a hundred other groups in Africa that do the opposite...

[@iAm83raine]

“Angry” is ok but “feminine” is problem...make it make sense

[@maddipage1347]

Interesting

[@ChaNayNayAnime]

Where were you Chrissie? I was about to put in a missing person report! -just kidding

[@MartianBlues11]

Lol I was thinking the same thing 😂😂😂

[@prtdiva]

I’ve always felt like this, wanting to be a housewife and find a husband to be a provider but was laughed out the room by black women. Now that I’m older and see all those single moms and “strong black women” struggling I’m glad I never settled.

[@TikaRose222]

I'm So Glad Black Women Femininity Is Here To Stay " The Bigger Picture " 🖤🌹

[@manyrubies]

What I loved about Black Panther was that dark skinned women represented every archetype. I hope BLM doesn’t affect future projects.

[@pelindalivesonmychannel4191]

They were all masculinized. Even Nakia who was supposed to be the "love interest trophy" became a mini warrior at the end fighting killmonger. They made sure she wasn't been saved or delicate. She was a spy risking her safety

[@avawilliams5827]

Nicooole Lilnas I’m not sure if they did it intentionally but that’s just historical. There were in fact armies of women that fought under ancient African kingdoms, they were every bit as ruthless as the men who fought. Per their culture femininity would have had a completely different standard.

[@Love25648]

Nicooole Lilnas The female warriors of the Dahomey were warriors though lol go watch Lupita video of them in Benin:

[@pelindalivesonmychannel4191]

@@Love25648 so you're telling me none of those kings had a pregnant wife or something who was been attended to in a palace somewhere? Not even one depiction of a truly feminine dahomi woman? They ALL held spears uhn

[@pelindalivesonmychannel4191]

@@avawilliams5827 armies of women that fought. I agree. But I don't believe the men in charge didn't have daughters or wives who were been protected. Those societies had hierarchies and not all the women fought. Black panther erased those feminine women

[@tamikaqueen1203]

I do feel that black women really need this. The one thing that I dislike is the protesting black woman & the black girl protesting!!

[@whyask2355]

I’m convinced that wigs and weaves have a type of superpower. We’ve been discussing it since 2016 heavy, and what has changed for the black community? COVID, riots, horrific physical attacks on black women, economic instability for the black community due to COVID, colorism, mysoginoir. Somehow we can still fit wigs and weaves into the conversation. That’s why I’m convinced wigs and weaves have superpowers.

[@Crystale17]

😂

[@luvjones4dasoul]

🤣🤣🤣

[@zanystar8705]

There are plenty of feminine women in Africa right now putting us African Americans to shame 😂.

[@MissLady1980]

Facts

[@zanystar8705]

@My name is my name I wasn't speaking for you.

[@Lindenave819]

When you started this series me and my cousins was saying "watch some fools say she trying to be white, or give white advice. I think it comes from a low self esteem having woman. Keep going Chrissie!

[@Telletell]

I love the “Femininity movement” (outside of people making it weird LOL). And Chrissie even scalped ME with the wig talk lolol 🤒

[@LuxuriousLifestyle4]

Telletell Me too girl!! I am also a femininity KZbinr 💜

[@Telletell]

Femininity & Finance lolol. !

[@escah9150]

If that's a wig you're wearing it looks great on you. The color compliments your skintone and the texture looks like what can be your natural hair but flat ironed.

[@Telletell]

Jesstine thank you! It is indeed a wig

[@LuxuriousLifestyle4]

@@Telletell Thank you 💞

[@rosegold._2229]

Femininity comes in all aspects.🦄 It is described differently among people. 🤗 Femininity is everywhere it's not self centered.🎉 Some people just need to embrace it more often. 💝

[@deionc]

I think there is tremendous pressure for BW to stay tethered to the hood and Blackistan because if BW developed the social skills needed to be able to adapt in other social circles and society levels it would show that we have options and choices in life. Then those who equate and accept struggle and trauma with Blackness would have to be held accountable for their own poor choices and options.

[@DiosaNegra67]

You are ABSOLUTELY correct! I know from my personal experience, that my ability to socialize with various social circles, tended to "upset" many...including former WW friends.

[@maddipage1347]

Interesting

[@GlamorGrowthTravelwithMica]

I love seeing all these black femininity new KZbin channels pop up. The message is getting out.

[@anissa2361]

Chrissie I've missed you! I've been bored in the house and in the house bored, lol!

[@ladydee1945]

The biggest challenge among black women especially in USA is losing the cap ,thts what's holding them back,I had an argument with a lady who was really mad about George Floyd than the 3 kids killed in chicago,

[@ladydee1945]

Not all BW some of them

[@maddipage1347]

Interesting we are conditioned on what we should be upset about and it’s usually only things a white person did-

[@Lidiroyal]

In chess, the Queen piece is supposed to be protected. Every other piece sacrifices themselves to keep the Queen safe. The same applies in real life. The queen is not a pawn. Edit: I understand that the queen is the most powerful, but she still supposed to be protected. You capture the queen you lose the game. Edit: Okay, okay Chess experts. I get the inaccuracy of my comment. Thanks for correcting me. ☺️

[@Lidiroyal]

Happy To Be Nappy you’re completely right.

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

No it’s the king that needs to be protected on the board. The queen is the most powerful.

[@unfazedjae2645]

naturallybronzed xo this applies to real life. The KANGZ are coddled whilst the queens are left to fend for themselves even though they are the most powerful and important.

[@pollymat991]

Both King and queen should be protected. You kill they king it's game over. You kill your Queen in chess and the game becomes harder for you since she is the most powerful piece. She is most precious and powerful. I see what you're trying to say despite the chess inaccuracy. Queens should be protected. Most powerful 👌

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

Unfazed Jae my bad - the OP said in chess so I felt the need to clarify 🤓

[@callalilly4743]

To me this feels like evidence to the efficacy of the movement. Stay focused on yourselves ladies❤️

[@shayjoe7303]

My mom is a hotep and she just doesn’t understand

[@prettyaura4931]

What exactly is a hotep I’m unsure

[@shayjoe7303]

smallfry I use it as a stand in word for people that are very Afrocentric but it does have a real historical meaning

[@greenpeppersandpea]

I love how when you search “femininity”, in the KZbin search bar the first 20 or so videos are catered to black women and/or created by black women! I know this wasn’t the case 5 years ago so it’s a good step forward!

[@brittanytiera3299]

I just want to say I’m very thankful for your femininity advice. I have leveled up so much because of it. I’m currently dating a provider, which I never achieved when I wasn’t feminine.

[@santen2309]

As if goddeses like Oshun don't exist. I really internalized the "masculine black woman" stereotype when I was younger. When guys would show intetrest, I always thought they were joking and would automatically reject them and reject compliments, because why would I be worthy of love as a dark skinned black girl? Only now looking back do I realize that my lack of confidence in my feminity was the problem and the interest in me was genuine. When you start attributing everything positive with whiteness, what do you have left?

[@user-ec4uf7dk5t]

Yas Chrissie came through with the receipts!! Why can’t people just let BW be feminine in peace.

[@sunflowergoddess3420]

“They’re not use to seeing black women like this...” -Chrissie We are shaking the table and changing the game and taking back our power! We love to see it 😍✨

[@tessymay933]

12:30 lol ya'll we need to interview the historians from those places with the African warrior queens like Benin.... and they'll tell you those women took on those warrior roles because of the conditions of those times. The dynamics of polygamy and corrupt men who were ready to compromise their land or children to invaders. The women had to the the job of defending the land where the men didn't. It was borne out of necessity not because those women could not be somewhere been hand fanned, munching on some darn grapes

[@bd3966]

Sounds like here, being warriors out of necessity smh.

[@tessymay933]

@@bd3966 Right! Except they're at an all new low here now trying to bring the little girls into it 🤢🤮

[@makela1647]

Not all of us wanna be social justice warriors attempting to tear down hundred year systems and they can't stand it lmaoo. I'd rather get in where I fit in and play the game to my advantage than fight a one sided battle alone. BW better smarten up and save ourselves.

[@tionnajohnson8430]

I hate how it's changed drastically seems like women are trying to be masculine because of the history of femininity and I don't think that's fair you can wear makeup, participate in gender roles, and still be a feminist you don't have to let go of everything feminine and I don't think that's fair women should be who they want being far right or far left is not helpful 😩

[@barose1]

”Black bubble” 😂😂😂 Your message so needed to be said!

[@Remiremi7430]

Missed you chrissie!

[@jailynjackson7867]

Lmao, I remember one time I saw a post where a black model was pointing out her foot in a pose and this fauxtep went in on her and other black women for trying to be like "white women" cause apparently that's a "white girl pose", like huh🤷🏿‍♀️ One minute black men will complain about black women being too masculine and strong and then when they want to be feminine then now we're tryna be white😂 Ya can't win.

[@bd3966]

The goal post always moves!

[@nrichards7564]

the only thing i don't like about most of these femininity channels is how they are teaching that natural hair is not acceptable , its really sad and put me off watching most of them now.

[@LuxuriousLifestyle4]

I would never teach that on my channel!! Embrace 4c hair💞

[@globalstudy01]

Yeah that's a big yikes. But Chrissie's is totally different and original

[@TheLadyofgrace]

@Chrissie Don’t allow women that do not understand the true power of a lady to discourage you from your purpose. My mother taught me, “We are women by gender and ladies by choice.” There are several girls and grown women that use social media as their etiquette class and/or how to manual. I have personally experienced the desire of young ladies to be more feminine. A few young ladies have asked me to mentor and/or teach them to be like me. I was honored and heartbroken at the same time. However, those experiences made me realize the need for black feminine content. Keep up the good work!

[@itajno8985]

#RawRealTalk: I'm 55 and had no exposure to femininity thinking a part from menses, child bearing, pleasing a man sexually, being an excellent homemaker, and sacrificing me to build everyone around me. All I know is to be a functional black woman, as a result of that mindset it left me damaged and broken on all level- spiritually, mentally and physically. This information is needed. Thank you.

[@ladydee1945]

I hate that rolling stone picture, look at the muscles on that lady she must be a gym addict

[@thia9868]

😹

[@haryel5058]

Lmaoooo 🤣🤣🤣

[@noradarling661]

As black women we are not a monolithic. As black women we should support each other in our journeys. Support the women on their femininity journeys. Support the women seeking political changes that benefit black women. We need black women in all of these roles.

[@yadayada4690]

It's easier to dismiss your points than to actually to take the time to look within ones self and accept theres room for improvement or something is wrong.

[@DanielaTabois]

This video hit it right on the nail! Ugh my life. Keep doing you Chrissie!

[@proverbs31teacher7]

Thanks again Chrissie for bringing the black femininity topic on the table! I Loved how you dug deep into our history to show how our ancestors embraced their beauty without compromise and of course being femininely unapologetic. I embraced my femininity in a way that never have before because of DDW and your channels. I would excuse my masculinity boisterous behavior on where and how I was raised. There is no excuse in learning at any age( I am 50+) to being a divine feminine woman.

[@sealskin5221]

I know! Someone said this to me a little while ago. Talkin' bout femininity is white! I was like girl, they took everything from you. You wanna give them that too?

[@gamerhitman123]

For real how they take it

[@doll9763]

Exactly

[@khem127]

Black women created the model for femininity, our ebullience, our beauty, our sparkling conversation, our movement, and our ways of loving, and laughter, are copied all over the world. We can be bosses, wives, fashionistas, teachers, researchers, neighborhood girls, mothers and still be feminine. My mother worked as a seamstress, and was very feminine. That history of the Black woman's role in precolonial history that you speak of is correct. There were always gender roles in Africa, but in some tribes women had women's councils that spoke for the women. I don't think of feminity as Eurocentic because basically Black people created the cultural constructs that White folks later copied.

[@BM-dr4eu]

“We’ve been socialized to be different variations of dehumanizing archetypes “ 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 you are preaching!

[@mckeewardiv6307]

I'm glad Chrissie uploaded another video. I like reading the comments.

[@eveeve3337]

Of course it would be ideal to have an afro centric society made by us for us but we do not have the men or means for that

[@tamikaqueen1203]

My daughter a journalist &told me she was going to do a interview on the ready about diverse issues affecting black lives & killings. She sent me a sample clip & I told her that her voice and delivery had just the right tone & softness. You can communicate and also deliver your message with your feminine side.

[@obsidianromance34]

*Me waiting for the black masculinity videos on KZbin to sync with the black femininity ones.*

[@najahmatthews8279]

Yes!

[@karllytskfk8471]

I appreciate your account on African cultures. They have similarities and differences. They are often generalized and romanticized with an American pov.

[@ms.jaebeasley8968]

It makes them uncomfortable because this is us learning the very lessons they are learning. They don't want that. And some black women push back because not every black person will be on board for change. We have to remember that there were some slaves who didn't agree with running away and didn't know what to do when they finally were free. And remember in the bible even the Israelites wanted to go back to slavery when reaching the promise land got hard.

[@jellybelly6756]

Tell them to start stretching their necks with rings, and not wearing tops if they want to be so against eurocentrism so bad.

[@irrelevance3859]

Right lmfao. Let's be real